Biden Grows Ties to Ukraine Gas Company, US Won't Support Ransom in Nigeria, No Keystone Pipeline This Year: P.M. Links

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  • Set phasers to 'skeptical'
    "Star Trek V"

    Joe Biden's son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn't complicate anything at all, I'm sure.

  • The United States will not support a ransom or prisoner exchange for the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by Boko Haram, the White House says.
  • A man claiming to be God reportedly crashed his truck into a television news station in Towson, Maryland. Why does God need a truck? Or a news station?
  • Six Ukrainian soldiers were reportedly killed in an ambush by antigovernment forces. A rebel commander claims one dead among the militia men and a much higher death count among Ukrainians than reported.
  • Congress has failed to negotiate passage of legislation authorizing construction of the Keystone XL pipeline. With the Obama Administration also failing to take a formal position on it as yet, don't expect anything to happen for the rest of the year.
  • Israel's former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has been sentenced to six years in prison for his role in a bribery scandal.

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  1. Joe Biden’s son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn’t complicate anything at all, I’m sure.

    It’s a little fucking deal. Trust him.

    1. Hello.

      Oh, look. The links were on effen time.

    2. I posted this story in the AM links. Do I get a first by proxy in PM links?

      1. No, just an all expenses paid trip to Warty’s basement for the weekend.

        1. Please, it’s called the Lovenasium.

        2. even better!

  2. Congress has failed to negotiate passage of legislation authorizing construction of the Keystone XL pipeline.

    The pipeline wasn’t going to help the Dems this November but I’m surprised they weren’t desperately grasping for it anyway.

  3. A man claiming to be God reportedly crashed his truck into a television news station in Towson, Maryland.

    I doubt any god who inflicts property damage for his own pleasure.

    1. Isn’t that what the old testament was all about?

    2. You know, I was God once…

      1. You were doing well until everyone died.

      2. Pray, do go on ….

  4. “Researchers think they have found the wreck of the noted Civil War vessel the Planter — a Confederate ammunition ship commandeered in 1862 by the slave Robert Smalls who then steamed it out of Charleston and turned it over to the Union Navy.”

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014…..e-located/

    1. That Smalls was quite notorious.

      1. That was biggie of you to notice.

  5. Joe Biden’s son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn’t complicate anything at all, I’m sure

    Yay for political entrepreneurship!

  6. Israel’s former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has been sentenced to six years in prison for his role in a bribery scandal.

    WAY TO BE A STEREOTYPE, MINISTER.

  7. DEAD GIVEAWAY

    Highlight:

    [?]RealCharlesRamsey[S] 18 points 3 hours ago
    One trait I have, instilled in my when I was still a sperm, was FUCK FEAR.
    permalinkparent

    1. I am pretty sure that announcing to the world how you are not afraid is about the clearest indication to anyone listening just how afraid you actually are.

      1. Sure, but this guy is a lunatic genius. See his plan to get the mayor to give him money to form a mob that will tear down abandoned houses so pedophiles can’t use them. And this.

        [?]RealCharlesRamsey[S] 2701 points 4 hours ago
        I wouldn’t have called the police if I had known what was going on. That’s what I would have done. I would have helped Amanda. I would have got my comrades, freed Gina and Michelle, go back in the house. And when Mr. Castro came home, we would turn it on him. I would have got him pregnant five times and beat the babies out of him. I would have put a motorcycle on his forehead. I would have bought a one-way ticket to Puerto Rico and dropped him off and told them, here he is. Do what we want.
        permalinkparent

        1. I forgot who that guy was. He needs his own talk show. And not on some half ass network. He needs to be on CNN.

          1. He absolutely does. He is one garrulous dude.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJDj1M2bzIY

      2. Are you aware who that guy is?

        1. No. Now I realize it. So yeah, he is bragging. He is just crazy in a really awesome way.

    2. Today on Reddit I learned that FDR, while Assistant Secretary of Haiti, was in charge of the occupation of Haiti after Wilson’s invasion, and ordered the massacre of thousands of Haitians.

      I thought FDR just hated Asians. I had no idea he slaughtered blacks left and right, too.

      1. Increased instability in Haiti in the years before 1915 led to heightened action by the United States to deter foreign influence. Between 1911 and 1915, seven presidents were assassinated or overthrown in Haiti, increasing U.S. policymakers’ fear of foreign intervention. In 1914, the Wilson Administration sent marines into Haiti who removed $500,000 from the Haitian National Bank in December of 1914 for safe-keeping in New York, thus giving the U.S. control of the bank. In 1915, Haitian president Jean Vilbrun Guillaume Sam was assassinated and the situation in Haiti quickly became unstable. In response, President Wilson sent the U.S. Marines to Haiti, claiming the invasion was an attempt to prevent anarchy. In reality the Wilson administration was protecting U.S. assets in the area and preventing a possible German invasion.

        The invasion ended with the Haitian-American Treaty of 1915. The articles of this agreement created a Haitian gendarmerie, essentially a military force made up of Americans and Haitians and controlled by the U.S. marines. The United States gained complete control over Haitian finances, and the right to intervene in Haiti whenever the U.S. Government deemed necessary. The U.S. Government also forced the election of a new pro-American President, Philippe Sudr? Dartiguenave, by the Haitian legislature in August of 1915.

        http://history.state.gov/miles…..1920/haiti

        1. preventing a possible German invasion

          And just how was the Kriegsmarine going to get out of port? And just where was the Kaiser going to find troops, and why would he send them to Haiti instead of one of the many fronts where he desperately needed them?

          I expect to find in the official justifications for the invasion of Iraq that we prevented a possible Martian invasion of Mesopotamia.

      2. It gets better

        Some of the Gendarmerie’s more unpopular policies?including racial segregation, press censorship and forced labor?led to a peasant rebellion from 1919 to 1920. The U.S. Senate sent an investigative committee into Haiti in 1921 to examine claims of abuse, and subsequently the U.S. Senate reorganized and centralized power in Haiti. After the reorganization, Haiti remained fairly stable and a select group achieved economic prosperity, though most Haitians remained in poverty.

        Wilson loved keeping the races apart and the dark people in their place.

        1. Right, they introduced what they called “civil conscription” – basically enslaving people to build roads, as if they were Egyptian slaves building pyramids.

          FDR was incredibly proud of his Haitian road-building record. A record built on slave labor.

          I don’t understand how I’m just finding this shit out TODAY.

          1. Because the Prog historians have done their best to write that shit out of history.

            I am quoting from the official DOS history. I am pretty sure DOS put as positive of a spin on it as possible and it is still outrageous. The unvarnished truth must be horrific.

        1. Here is a link to a NY Times article where FDR chortles about his personal control of several Caribbean republics (he laughs about how he has so many personal League of Nations votes) and exults in having personally written Haiti’s constitution.

          http://query.nytimes.com/mem/a…..5F448285F9

    3. Goddammit. I followed the Amazon link to my book and now my recommendations are all kidnapping victim stories. And not the sexy kind. The real kind.

      1. care to share the link?

          1. Thanks. I saw this in the description

            or example, he learned the hard way that when a big TV network flies you to New York City for an interview, that doesn’t mean they also bought you a ticket back home to Cleveland!

            sheesh…Media Exploitation….who would have thought.


    4. [?]RealCharlesRamsey[S] 3375 points 4 hours ago

      On December 31, around 11:25 I had a conversation with Drew Carey. I was doing the ball thing in public square, I say Drew how do you handle people who know you wherever you go. How do you deal with all that he says this is what you do. Remember that show Cheers? Sing that jungle in your head and when it starts making sense to you, it won’t bother you anymore. The world is your neighborhood now. You’re in their heart, you’re in their brains.”

  8. Israel’s former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has been sentenced to six years in prison for his role in a bribery scandal.

    I have tremendous respect for any country which convicts and imprisons its top leaders. Something like this typically would not happen in India. Go Israel!

    1. Sooo…

      Biden and Reid are soon to follow?

    2. This is one of the things I like about France. Now, Chirac got a suspended sentence and didn’t go to jail, but still he was convicted. And the investigation of Sarkozy just cannot die.

    3. I have tremendous respect for any country which convicts and imprisons its top leaders.

      Big fan of Illinois apparently.

    4. I’m a fan of how China handles this type of corruption.

      1. Bo xilai was small fry. People like wen Jiaobao don’t get convicted. So there’s a difference.

        1. Oh I thought they executed them all. I realize now that I was mistaken.

  9. Federal appeals court says Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer can’t trademark the phrase “Stop the Islamization of America.” The phrase may be offensive.

    http://religionclause.blogspot…..um=twitter

    1. Did they try “Towelheads Go Home!” yet?

      1. How about “Mo prophet mo problems” instead?

    2. Not the best reason I’ve heard for refusing a trademark, but I’ll take it.

    3. why would they even want to trademark it? If they are principled, wouldn’t they want everyone to use the phrase?

  10. One step closer to Luke Sykwalker: robot arm can mimic human movement and catch objects

    Researchers demonstrated that their new iCub humanoid robot possesses the ability to catch objects thrown its way, including water bottles, tennis rackets, balls, and hammers. Seungsu Kim, Ashwini Shukla, and Aude Billard had their study published on Monday in the IEEE Transactions on Robotics.

    First, they taught the robot how to predict a moving object, and then they taught it where to grasp and how to move its arm. They key was the way the researchers transferred information from a human to the robot through programming-by-demonstration. The robot can simply observe the task from a human and also observe the object flying in the air multiple times so they can build a model of it and then use the model to catch the object.

    The researchers used the dynamical systems approach to encode motion from several demonstrations, which enables the robot to develop a reactive arm motion in the event of sensor uncertainty.

    Hopefully the user doesn’t become more machine than man, twisted and evil.

    1. I volunteered for the USO to greet a plane full of medal of honor winners a couple of summers ago. The first guy off the plane had a robotic hand that was right out of the Terminator. He reach out and shook my hand with it. It was amazing.

      1. I hope you used a fake last name, John Con….nell.

      2. Was it electrically powered? How were the fingers actuated?

        1. It must have been. It had five fingers that were constructed in parts so that they could flex just like real fingers. I don’t know how he manipulated it but he reached out and shook my hand just like it was hit thoughts doing it.

    2. Researchers demonstrated that their new iCub humanoid robot possesses the ability to catch objects thrown its way, including water bottles, tennis rackets, balls, and hammers.

      Does this mean that technology will make disability-related welfare obsolete? This would be great news for anyone who really wants to be independent.

    3. Hopefully the user doesn’t become more machine than man, twisted and evil.

      I’ve yet to meet an evil machine, but there are evil men all over the place. I’m more worried about the poor, innocent machines.

      1. I’ve yet to meet an evil machine

        You’ve never met a gun? They all have black hearts!

        /prog

      2. That’s exactly what Darth Vader wants you to think.

        1. Who says those Jedi mind tricks are fake?

    4. The researchers used the dynamical systems approach to encode motion from several demonstrations

      I’m not parsing this. If they used a training set they took a machine learning approach. Maybe they modeled the catching as coupled oscillators and that’s what they mean.

  11. Joe Biden’s son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn’t complicate anything at all, I’m sure.

    Say it ain’t so!!!

    I was told the US was supporting he hard working freedom loving pro-European libertarian Ukrainian rebels…i mean establishment…i mean separatists…i mean the anti-separatists…jesus i don’t know anymore…the rebels become the government then back to the rebels so fast depending on the mood of the NPR reporters it is hard to tell which is which!!

    This can’t be true!!

    1. Corning|5.13.14 @ 4:35PM|#
      “Joe Biden’s son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn’t complicate anything at all, I’m sure.”

      If it’s nationalized, will he become the political officer?

    2. Meet the new boss, etc.

  12. Congress has failed to negotiate passage of legislation authorizing construction of the Keystone XL pipeline. With the Obama Administration also failing to take a formal position on it as yet, don’t expect anything to happen for the rest of the year.

    The Obama administration’s formal position will change whichever way the wind blows oil flows.

    1. The GOP passed on a KXL vote after all their bitching about it.

      1. Palin’s Buttplug|5.13.14 @ 4:42PM|#
        “The GOP passed on a KXL vote after all their bitching about it.”

        And that lying bastard in the WH is just waiting to see which way the wind blows.
        Go lick his ass again.

      2. How about Obama just approve it? Oh that is right he won’t do that because he is a corrupt retard who thinks it is a bad idea.

        1. …”who thinks it is a bad idea.”
          Except when he doesn’t. Or does. Which one is it this week?

    2. No.

      The Obama administration’s formal position will be whatever insures that problems will not be solved so he can claim to be moderate while chastising his opponents as extremists.

      See examples:

      Iraq war
      Gay marriage
      legalization of pot
      War on terror (drone bombing)
      NSA wire tapping
      Bengazi
      Net Neutrality
      Obamacare market place
      etc.

    1. The new guidelines would replace pronouns “he/him/his/she/her/hers” with “they/them/theirs.”

      Oberlin College. It all makes sense now.

      1. The new guidelines would replace pronouns “he/him/his/she/her/hers” with “they/them/theirs.”

        I suggest replacing he or she or it with the contraction h’or’sh’it.

  13. Red Leader does not copy: Denis Lawson, who played Wedge in original Star Wars trilogy, declines role in new movie

    In an interview with The Courier, 66-year-old Denis Lawson revealed that he definitely won’t be back in ‘Star Wars VII’? even though he’s apparently been asked to return.

    “I’m not going to do that,” he said about a potential ‘Star Wars’ comeback. “They asked me but it just would have bored me.”

    After surviving both the Battle of Yavin IV and the assault on the second Death Star, you’d think he’d be a bit more grateful? but this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Lawson’s disdain for the ‘Star Wars’ saga.

    “I made the first ‘Star Wars’ film in 1976 and it doesn’t really interest me,” he recently revealed. “I know it’s interesting to other people but I get really bored talking about it. Sorry.”

    Of course, ‘Star Wars’ fans know him as a hero of the Rebel Alliance and one of the few surviving members of Luke Skywalker’s legendary Rogue Squadron. But it looks as though Lawson really doesn’t care much for his fictional feats of heroics.

    Obviously, this is a bitter disappointment for ‘Star Wars’ fans who would no doubt love to see Wedge reappear in the upcoming sequel trilogy? after all, his skills in the cockpit of an X-Wing were second only to Skywalker himself.

    He was actually a better pilot than Luke. He didn’t have the Force.

    1. Wedge was my little brother’s favorite character. Can’t wait to send him this.

    2. The Force == cheating at flying
      Being tall == cheating at basketball
      Being rich == cheating at finances
      etc.

      Out of curiosity where does Han Solo sit on the “best pilots” list?

      1. One thing is sure, Solo is a horrible mechanic.

        1. Or the ship’s electrics were made by Lucas.

      2. Wedge saved Luke’s ass on two occasions: during the Battle of Yavin Luke had a TIE fighter on his tale that he couldn’t shake and Wedge managed to fly right at it and destroy it.

        And during the Battle of Hoth Luke got shot down and Wedge had to take out the lead the AT-AT. He also survived the ambush at Endor and followed the Falcon into the Death Star reactor chamber to destroy it. That’s a pretty impressive career.

        1. Bro used to reenact the latter seen over and over…man was he gay for that pilot.

    3. He didn’t have the Force.

      Luke would agree:

      “Wedge! Pull out! You’re not doing any good back there!”

      1. That’s what she said.

    4. I guess it always hurt his feelings that fans loved his character ironically.

    5. In better Star Trek related news, my bank has a teller who looks like Natalie Portman.

      1. I suggest making regular deposits IYKWIMAITYD.

  14. The United States will not support a ransom or prisoner exchange for the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by Boko Haram, the White House says.

    I’ll be damned. I actually agree with this. The first time I’ve ever seen the White House grasp an Iron Law:

    You get more of what you reward, and less of what you punish.

    Well, any Iron Law other than this one:

    Power and money will always find each other.

    Which they live their lives by.

    1. Careful now. Mrs Obama has not weighed in on twitter yet.

    2. Does the Iron Law come from the Iron Islands? Do you have to be ironborn to understand the Iron Law? Do you have to pay the iron price? But most importantly, do you sow?

      1. Does the Iron Law come from the Iron Islands?

        It comes from RC Dean…we are not sure where he is from or if has read the Game of Thrones books.

        But if I had to guess: Texas and Yes.

      2. Speaking of the Iron price.

        How much blood would you need, if you used the iron in blood, to forge a sword?

        Ball park here.

        I am wondering if over like 5 year period i could simply draw a pint every so often from myself or would i need to drain the population of chicago before i had enough iron.

        1. According to this site: 60 – 160 ?g/dL (normally higher in males

          Why Chicago, you look like your humors are out of balance. I believe it’s time for a blood letting.

        2. Your body has enough iron in it to make a nail 3 inches long (Some source).

          That’s not just your blood, so YMMV.

          1. Iron enough to make a nail,
            Lime enough to paint a wall,
            Water enough to drown a dog,
            Sulphur enough to stop the fleas,
            Potash enough to wash a shirt,
            Gold enough to buy a bean,
            Silver enough to coat a pin,
            Lead enough to ballast a bird,
            Phosphor enough to light the town,
            Poison enough to kill a cow,

            Strength enough to build a home,
            Time enough to hold a child,
            Love enough to break a heart.

            –Terry Pratchett

        3. Each pint of human blood has about 250mg of iron in it. A typical sword will weigh around 2.5 lbs, which is about 1100 grams. So at 4 pints per gram you’d need 4,400 pints, or 550 gallons of blood to make a sword. For health reasons, people are typically restricted to donating about 6 or 7 pints of blood a year.

          So it’d take you 628 years to draw enough blood from yourself to make a sword.

          1. Or, alternatively, you could take one pint from 4400 people.

          2. Yeah, but the process to refine, alloy into a useful steel, forge, and shape the resulting iron would probably eat up a third to a half of what you pull out of the blood.

            1. Good point. So, you’d have to double or triple it, or just go with what you get and use regular iron stock as filler.

    3. If this were a real administration, the president and his staff, including the First Lady, would volunteer to exchange themselves for the hostages.

      1. They would, but… they’re just nort ready for that kind of commitment right now…

  15. “Circumcision Complications Are Very Rare, Study Finds”

    http://www.livescience.com/455…..abies.html

    1. So what?

      This your new hobby horse, Eddy?

    2. And even rarer in places that don’t practice circumcision!

    3. Are they including “missing part of your dick” as a complication?

      1. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”

      2. I view having lost 40% of my erogenous tissue as a significant complication

        1. Me too, MPG.

        2. I view having lost 40%

          measured by surface area?

  16. “The Nigerians ought to be handling things in their own backyard, but frankly it’s a big vast country with a bunch of bad guys acting like cowboys and running around,” Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) told TIME. “They can’t handle it. I think that’s why we’re treading very carefully, but we’ve got to be more forceful than what we’ve been thus far.”

    Yes the Nigerians ought to be handling this.

    1. Don’t they have a substantial military? I mean, they have a sizable population and oil money–they can’t blow shit up?

  17. A man claiming to be God reportedly crashed his truck into a television news station in Towson, Maryland. Why does God need a truck? Or a news station?

    But, what if God was one of us?

    1. No, just don’t…

      1. Parade officially rained on.

        1. You mean, just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home?

  18. Dirt Poor and free stuff loving Kentucky has no stomach for Obama

    Eric Miller, 28, with bad teeth and an accent as thick as his tattooed arms, says he does not care about politics. He voted once, but can’t remember for whom. But one thing is clear: he does not like Obama.

    “I guess Democrats just worry about money in their pocket, what they and their friends are doing. They’re not worried about us small people,” Miller said.

    “The Republicans, they are the ones that know? raised up like we have, you know. Know what it’s like, what we need, what shouldn’t been taken away,” Miller added.

    “If there weren’t government programs, it would be a ghost town,” Miller said. He gets $380 on the sixth of every month, and with that he has to support himself and his girlfriend.

    But here in Wolfe County, 60 percent of voters backed Republican Mitt Romney. In neighboring countries Romney’s score surpassed 80 percent.

    Wolfe County has the lowest average income of all the 3,146 counties in America — $31,000 dollars per household annually.

    A massive 41 percent of its inhabitants live below the poverty line — defined at $11,670 per person per year — and 35 percent receive food stamps.

    http://news.yahoo.com/poor-ken…..ts-postbox

    1. It is almost like the DNC is the party of rich white people or something. Considering that Obama hates those people’s guts and his supporters would be okay with sticking them in camps and ovens, it is not too surprising they don’t like Obama. Funny that.

    2. Shorter ‘Plug: False consciousness.

    3. “and 35 percent receive food stamps.”

      So, a good bit fewer than in Dem-controlled cities?

    4. Wolfe County has the lowest average income of all the 3,146 counties in America — $31,000 dollars per household annually.

      So the 99.999% supports the GOP. Check. Got ya. Hanging on to that one forever. 8%. 8%!!!!

    5. This is kind of amusing coming from you.

      I have little doubt you are dirt poor as well but you support Obama and the Dems for the same reasons crony wall street scum bags support him.

      Namely that FED and White house polices feed the stock bubble while GDP is 0.1% and 58 million able bodied Americans are unemployed.

      1. 58 million able bodied Americans are unemployed.

        Paid to be unemployed, JC, paid to be. Big difference. If one is paid to be unemployed, then it’s Funemployment, and with that you can finally finish that Great American Novel or artwork. Nancy Pelosi approves!

  19. “Congress has failed to negotiate passage of legislation authorizing construction of the Keystone XL pipeline. With the Obama Administration also failing to take a formal position on it as yet, don’t expect anything to happen for the rest of the year.”

    Don’t those foxholes get pretty crowded when the entire government tries to keep its ass out of the firing line?

  20. Barbara Boxer (D-Dumbfuckitstan): GOP engaging in witch hunt over Benghazi, also they totally cut embassy security and BOOOSSSSHHH

    Here’s one thing we know this new Select Committee won’t be investigating: The budget cuts that House Republicans made to security at our embassies, consulates and diplomatic posts around the world — cuts that Republicans have actually boasted about making.

    Here’s another thing the GOP won’t be investigating — the tragedy and scandal of more than 4,000 Americans killed in the Iraq War based on phony intelligence.

    Between 1998 and 2013, there were at least 501 significant attacks against U.S. diplomatic facilities and personnel in 70 countries, which resulted in the deaths of 586 people, including 67 Americans. During the Bush administration, there were 166 attacks, which killed 116 people, including 18 Americans.

    Those attacks were all terrible tragedies. The difference is that we never had a political party spend years exploiting them for political gain.

    Yeah, you were too busy war-profiteering with your husband. Also, how many people died when Alberto Gonzales fired those attorneys? I recall that being trumped up as a major scandal at the time.

    1. And it is not like the Democrats ever made any political points over Iraq. I mean they totally allowed politics to end at the waterline.

      1. And it is not like the Democrats ever made any political points over Iraq.

        Heck, Barry Sotero was elected because of Iraq.

    2. “between 1998 and 2013, there were at least 501 significant attacks against U.S. diplomatic facilities and personnel in 70 countries, which resulted in the deaths of 586 people, including 67 Americans…”

      Yes, and *remarkably*!= Not one single ambassador was killed, and no one ever got caught lying about it afterward for political gain!

      Which is what makes Benghazi unique and special!

      That, and the fact that it was a CIA operation gone-wrong and everyone’s been trying to cover that up too!

      DERP VOTE HILARY DERP BECAUSE WHAT DOES ANYTHING MATTER ANYMORE DERP THE KOCH BROTHERS ARE MAKING THE PLANET WARMER DERP AND ALSO EVERYONE IS RACIST EXCEPT ME DERP

    3. “..Those attacks were all terrible tragedies. The difference is that we never had a political party spend years exploiting them for political gain..”

      Yeah Barb, I feel for ya.. it’s hard to campaign on a tragedy when your fingerprints are all over the fuck-up weapon.. but I’m sure your fellow Dems will find a way. Ahh, I bet they would sell what little soul they have left for another Sandy Hook, right about… Now.

  21. Feds Spend $1.59 Million Observing Obese Children Walking to School

    “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin’ world go round!”

    My favorite part is the walking school bus, which was endorsed by first lady Michelle Obama last year, … an “innovative” way for children to get exercise.

    1. The wookie knows what’s best for you. She doesn’t want to pull your arms out of your sockets, but she will if you don’t walk where she fucking tells you.

      1. *Walking to school* is “an innovative way for children to get exercise”. We are so screwed.

        1. “Walking to school” is a dangerous, unregulated activity from our past. This is better because, government!

          1. I was forced to walk to school as kid. I still wake up with the night sweats thinking about it sometimes.

          2. “Walking to school” is a dangerous, unregulated activity from our past. This is better because, government!

            haha. In Chicago Public Schools, they had to hire people to line the sidewalks as children walked to new schools this year (due to school closings) out of concern that they would be walking through areas with high murder rates.

    2. Yeah, the “walking school buses” and “bike trains” would address the problem, except it’s not society’s problem, but the parents’.

      There is, or should be, nothing to prevent parents from voluntarily organizing these things and choosing their own adult chaperones.

      But this has all the stank of proggiedom about it – require that these things be administered by the school, special government training for the monitors, and (wait for it) JOBS!

      1. You’re kidding, right?

        No one can deny the possibility that some of those parents are sheep fuckers, or worse.

      2. But this has all the stank of proggiedom about it – require that these things be administered by the school, special government training for the monitors, and (wait for it) JOBS!

        You may have noticed in the last couple of years how the left is doing its rhetorical damndest to conflate the idea of “community” that was prevalent up through the 1970s with that of government bureaucracy. The notion being that all aspects of a functional community don’t work without the direct intervention of some panel of “experts” guiding their actions.

        They’re utterly confused as to what forms close-knit, high-trust communities, and it shows in their ever-increasing demand for control over people’s lives.

    3. Except that one should regulate body comp with nutrition not exercise, but that is not the conventional “wisdom”. If exercise was the answer, I would expect not to see fat-assed kids in my son’s soccer, basketball, wrestling and tae kwon do classes year after year, but that is not the case.
      As Tonio suggests, it comes down to the parents and what they shove into their kids’ all-too-literal pie-holes.

    4. Children walking to school is the slippery slope to ‘De-Integration’, and the repealing of Brown & Swann… Get their fat asses back on those busses.

    1. I saw that this morning. It is glorious!

  22. The United States will not support a ransom or prisoner exchange for the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by Boko Haram, the White House says.

    Have Hillary and Boko Haram’s other supporters at MoveOn.org* put up the ransom.

    *MoveOn.org denies being directly associated with the support of Boko Haram, only that users on their site can support and create petitions for any cause they want, so no harm, no foul. And why aren’t we talking about the Kochs and dirty Teabaggers?

  23. Joe Biden’s son is joining the board of a gas company in Ukraine, which doesn’t complicate anything at all, I’m sure.

    Also on the board of that gas company is Devon Archer, who was roommates at Yale with Christopher Heinz, stepson of John Kerry.

    1. So when you buy Ketchup, you’re supporting Russian hegemony?

      1. All 57 varieties of it, baby!

  24. “Rapists lists” listing names of men alleged to have committed sexual assault appearing on the bathroom walls of Columbia University

    According to the Columbia Lion, the lists began appearing last week in the women’s bathroom on the fifth floor of Hamilton Hall. The original list contained four names of current Columbia undergraduate men, each written in a different color and in different handwriting. That list remained up for several hours before it was scrubbed by maintenance workers.

    This week, a list of the same four names appeared again, this time all in the same handwriting, but written several times over in a different building’s bathroom. This time, the list’s author didn’t refer to the names as the sanitized “Sexual Assault Violators,” but rather the more succinct “RAPIST LIST.” For a really, really, really bad time, call…

    School officials are treating the first incident as “graffiti,” which according to Columbia’s student conduct code, could result in serious disciplinary action.

    Students at Columbia University have long been critical of their school’s lackluster response to sexual assault.

    So if the allegations are false, it will be treated like bullying, yes?

    1. So if the allegations are false, it will be treated like bullying, yes?

      I would hardly call standing up to the patriarchy as ‘bullying’.

    2. This is why when I’m raping women and they ask my name I say “I’m nobody.”

      “Who raped you?”
      “Nobody raped me!”

      In all seriousness though: if John Smith is a serial rapist, do they at least put the last four of his social on the wall too? Or are all John Smiths at the school boned equally?

      1. “Boned”? Way to microaggress, jesse.

        1. If that’s a microaggression, what would be a macroaggression? Would I have to punch every John Smith in the face?

          Or is referencing boning microaggressing against women because I’ve referenced something phallic.

          womynsplain please!

          1. You talked about boning in a rape sub thread. Jeez.

            1. No, no. I know what the microaggression was, but I want to know how to upscale my aggression to macro, AND I want to know who was microaggressed against.

              I mean, we’re talking about potential rapists (ie men) getting boned. So it shouldn’t be a microaggression against women…right?

              1. You upscaled by challenging me on it. And all of humanity was microaggressed against. Misogyny hurts us all.

                1. You upscaled by challenging me on it.

                  Yay!

                  And all of humanity was microaggressed against.

                  Fuck yeah. The Eastern Europeans I know act like breaking people down emotionally is hard work. I wonder if they realized just saying boned repeatedly on the internet would do it.

              2. Jeez dude, *trigger warning* here. You’re aggressing against all Survivors of sexual assault by constantly saying ‘boned’.

          1. Did I ever Welsh?
            No!
            You just boned me!

            Love it.

      2. Truly Jessyseus is the master of cunning. The whole gay thing was a masterful long con.

        1. And who raped you, Damned Fool?

      3. The Odyssey? More like Homer’s Rape Manual.

    3. Even if these allegations are false, they could have been true and “potential rapist” is just the same as “actual rapist”.

      1. Reminds me of that Family Guy episode. Professor is up in front of the class and tells the female students.

        Professor: Look to your left. Now look to your right. Statistics show that both of these men will rape you.
        [female student looks scared at the men on both sides of her]
        First guy: I’m not going to rape you.
        Second guy: I might.

    4. Based on my understanding of intra-feminist politics, within a week the list will consist of every male name in the entire campus directory.

    5. BobbyRushUErin Gloria Ryan
      Today 12:42pm
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      Honestly? Arrest anyone whose name is on either of those lists. If they are found not guilty, then good. Justice was done. But somebody knows something, and that’s why these lists are here. And those people that know are deeply afraid, which is why the lists are hidden in bathrooms and not on, say, Facebook. It’s time to get the police involved, and it’s time for anyone whose name is on that list to be put in jail.

      I honestly hope Bobby is incarcerated over a false accusation someday. Even the other commenters aren’t agreeing with this one.

      1. Quick survey: who thinks the person who wrote that comment is too stupid to foresee the adverse consequences, and who thinks they know but are too unscrupulous to care?

        1. Too stupid.

        2. That entire comment is an emoting session. It’s stupidity because the rational parts of the brain are being starved for oxygen, strangled by the feelz!

      2. Fucking due process, how does it work??

        1. LOL.. due process? How quaint. I suggest you consult your handout titled “Constitution v2.0(revision 1a)” and thumb through to your new ‘bill of arbitrary privileges’ section… and check your privilege.

      3. And those people that know are deeply afraid, which is why the lists are hidden in bathrooms and not on, say, Facebook.

        This is something I really don’t get.

        Afraid of fucking WHAT?

        I can understand if the victims of child sexual abuse are afraid to come forward, because they don’t know how, or because they live under the direct authority of their abusers.

        But what the fuck are you afraid of if you’re a college student? People not believing you? How is THAT something to be afraid of, compared you, you know, getting raped?

        If I was raped by some guy at college, I really can’t imagine any set of circumstances where I don’t immediately come forward in every venue open to me. And that’s as a GUY, where the stigma would be greater than it would be for a woman.

        What are these guys going to do? Shank you? Nope. If the worst-case scenario is “They drag my name through the mud and nobody believes me!” I’d look at that scenario and say OH FUCKING WELL – I’m still turning the motherfucker in and rolling the dice.

        And I can’t understand how anyone could do otherwise.

        1. I’ve tried to see any situation where they would be afraid, and here’s what I can come up with:

          1) The truth isn’t as clear cut as it seems. Perhaps she got drunk with the guy and it escalated further than she had originally hoped for.

          2) She buys into that whole patriarchy, war on women bullshit, and legitimately thinks that the “white male oppressors” who head up the school and the police force are going to give the rapist a slap on the back and a “good job!”

          3) She’s been raised since day one to be such a self-involved, narcissistic, fragile snowflake that the idea of possibly getting her name dragged through the mud would damage her peer-approval-focused psyche beyond repair.

          At the end of the day, is there even a stigma for being raped? The immediate reaction that 99+% of people have is pity toward the victim and anger toward the rapist. Are people turned off by the psychological scars that manifest themselves for years later? Do people see them as tainted? I can’t imagine the mere fact that a person got raped changing my opinion of who they are, even in the slightest.

    6. I’d think it should be treated like libel.

    7. his week, a list of the same four names appeared again, this time all in the same handwriting, but written several times over in a different building’s bathroom. This time, the list’s author didn’t refer to the names as the sanitized “Sexual Assault Violators,” but rather the more succinct “RAPIST LIST.” For a really, really, really bad time, call…

      Assuming that these allegations are false, lawyer up boys! The defamation gravy train just came into the station, and it’s got your name on it! I think I’d go after Columbia first, as the forum that hosted the defamatory statements. Then go after the list writers just to ruin their lives.

      1. Hard to find who did it or collect. But if the university doesn’t do something to remove the names and put a stop to it, there is a deep pocket.

        1. Assuming you could find who did it, it’s not about the payoff. It’s about every time an employer googles those people’s names for the rest of their lives, there will be a story on the front page about a false rape allegation case.

          1. Absolutely. I would be lawyering up and suing the shit out of Columbia if they didn’t take immediate steps to put a stop to this.

    8. C.A. PinkhamUErin Gloria Ryan
      Today 3:32pm
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      I think the problem that everyone commenting and being like “BUT WAT ABOUT TEH INNOCENT MENZ” is missing is that while this tactic is decidedly less than ideal (as is all vigilante justice), the reason it exists is that victimized Columbia students feel like they have literally no other recourse than to publicize the names of their attackers. They’re operating anonymously because they feel like they can’t speak out under their real names without being further attacked as a result (either by the university or by random idiots).

      The key point that Erin gets at is how fucked the system is that this is legit their best option, because the fact that that’s true (and it’s objectively true ? don’t pretend they have a better recourse than this under the current system, commenters) is incredibly depressing. No one’s arguing “THIS IS JUSTICE,” just “this is more justice than they’re likely to get by operating within the bounds of the system.”

      She sounds delightful.

      1. Hmm. So I happen to know that this one gay black guy has been badmouthing me to my peers and working to undermine my more valued friendships. I have no way to get back at this guy. That’s a lack of justice. Clearly the right thing to do is to anonymously slander another gay black guy. I’m sure this fine lady will agree with me right?

        1. Is he a 6th grade girl at heart? Maybe he’s got a crush on you. Luckily it doesn’t sound like he’s a kindergarten girl because then he would’ve punched you ineffectually and run off crying, which is always awkward.

      2. Isn’t that victim blaming?

      3. this is more justice than they’re likely to get by operating within the bounds of the system

        This is something else I don’t understand.

        Let’s say you bypass the university process and go right to the police.

        The police arrest the guy, and he’s tried, but the mean old system gives him too much due process of he escapes conviction.

        UM, YOU HAD HIS ASS ARRESTED AND TRIED. He got to wear the cuffs and take the ride. He had to put up and pay for a defense. He had to sweat out the time before his acquittal.

        How is that not MORE JUSTICE than, you know, writing his name on a wall somewhere?

        If I have a choice between, “Oh shit the cops are here to arrest me and now I get to call my dad for bail!” and “Some chick wrote my name on a wall somewhere!” I know which one I pick.

      4. “..They’re operating anonymously because they feel like they can’t speak out under their real names without being further attacked..”

        How noble, the right to face your accuser in court is awkward and uncomfortable for all involved, soo.. anonymous accusations about an alleged and serious crime is definitely the way to go, who the fuck needs court when you can anonymously slut-shame them for justice. I guess that in the bathrooms, shit happens..

  25. “Tesla’s Gigafactory ? whistleblower suit complicates New Mexico’s bid”
    […]
    A whistleblower lawsuit has accused top (economic development; read “crony} department officials of hiring a well-connected web developer without a contract and trying to cover it up. The suit also claims that a company co-founded by the department’s secretary, Jon Barela, secretly benefited from a New Mexico tax credit program.”
    http://blog.sfgate.com/energy/…..hc-bustech

    Hey, Musk is gonna get pissed if someone’s raking off some vig on *his* turf!

  26. Louis C. K. portrays a fat girl as being funny and pretty cool, PROBLEMATIC

    The first time I watched the episode, I read Vanessa’s entire speech about the difficulty of being a fat girl as a female cri de coeur. The second time I watched it, after interviewing Baker and learning that she had nothing to do with the script, it seemed more like a male mea culpa. Louis C.K.’s insights into why a man might not want to be seen with a woman like Vanessa are unimpeachable: His concern about double standards and casual male cruelty seem deeply felt. But his characterization of Vanessa is less unerring. A woman as confident and comfortable as Vanessa would not, I don’t think, imagine herself as the victim of her weight and blame guys like Louie as entirely as her speech suggests. As a guilt trip, her speech is perfect; as a character exploration, it’s a little bit too much of a guilt trip. Vanessa’s teachable moment, and the episode more largely, is as scathing to Louie as possible. But it’s also condescending to Vanessa: I mean, if all Vanessa wanted in life was to hold hands with a nice guy, a girl as cool as she is could do just that. Wonder if we’ll ever see a fat girl on TV who demands more.

    1. Louis C.K.’s insights into why a man might not want to be seen with a woman like Vanessa are unimpeachable: His concern about double standards and casual male cruelty seem deeply felt.


      I mean, if all Vanessa wanted in life was to hold hands with a nice guy, a girl as cool as she is could do just that.

      They really just don’t do that whole logic and internal consistency thing at Slate do they?

    2. A nice guy?!? What now???

      1. He will just rape you Nikki. It is what all men do.

    3. I mean, if all Vanessa wanted in life was to hold hands with a nice guy, a girl as cool as she is could do just that.

      If by “nice guy”, you mean “loser”, well, then, sure.

      1. If she has all of these options open to her, then how is it that male cruelty to fat girls is such a problem?

      2. Why would any man want to be seen with any women?

        Fat or hot a woman on your arm will cunt block all the other women you want sleep with.

        ….

        I hereby claim the “Why we have no women libertarians” award for today.

        1. I hereby present it to you.

        2. I think Nikki takes that award, just by posting here. Women hate women more than anyone even the most misogynistic dudebros alive.

          1. the most misogynistic dudebros alive

            I hate men because they limit the supply of available women.

            1. Don’t hate the player, playa, hate the vicissitudes of genetic variability.

              1. Can’t I just believe in god?

                Hating him would be far more easier.

                Him and all his stupid men cock blockin me.

                1. You have to shoulder some of the blame.

                  For example, I blame my unwillingness to learn the banal pleasantries that make up small talk, or the clever entreaties and repartees involved in flirtation.

    4. I read Vanessa’s entire speech about the difficulty of being a fat girl as a female cri de coeur. The second time I watched it, after interviewing Baker and learning that she had nothing to do with the script, it seemed more like a male mea culpa.

      Yeah but is a true?!?!

      Who the fuck cares who wrote it. Why would that color your opinion about its truth or untruth.

      Feminsists have proven themselves more sexist then anyone else on the planet.

      Note: I disagree with Louis Ck’s point…or at least i disagree with what NPR claims Louis CK is trying to say.

    5. But his characterization of Vanessa is less unerring. A woman as confident and comfortable as Vanessa would not, I don’t think, imagine herself as the victim of her weight and blame guys like Louie as entirely as her speech suggests.

      Surprise surprise a character on a TV show gives an unnaturaly long speech explaining themselves in far more detail then they would in real life.

      Is it just a common custom used in the TV story telling medium?

      No no it can’t be. It must be a failing of the writer cuz you know…penis.

  27. Oregon wolf famous for his wanderings finally finds a mate

    Oregon wildlife officials said on Tuesday they believe the gray wolf, dubbed OR 7 because he was the seventh wolf collared for tracking in 2011, may have found a mate. If the pair have pups, it would be the first known wolf breeding in the Oregon Cascades since the early 20th century.

    OR 7 became well known when he traipsed into California in December 2011, making him the first known wild wolf in the state since 1924. He traveled more than any of the seven wolves collared, making him a celebrity and the focus of a documentary being made to track his progress, Wolf OR 7 Expedition.

    “I think it brings awareness of the issue of recovery of an endangered species, especially with the potential for his finding a mate and possibly having a family,” said Elizabeth Materna, public affairs specialist for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Oregon Fish and Wildlife Office.

    Since March 2013, OR 7 has spent most of his time in the southwestern Cascades of Oregon.

    “He hasn’t been wandering as far, he’s been more localized,” Materna said. “That gave (an) indication he may be with a partner.”

    Biologists also found images on a camera set up to track OR 7 that showed what appeared to be a black female wolf.

    1. Maybe that wolf would get more action if he didn’t have a bunch of creeps following him around all the time trying to watch him bone.

      1. “Without creatures such as the frilled Ren, there would be no nature show hosts.”

    2. Oregon wolf famous for his wanderings finally finds a mate

      On farmersonly.com. City people just don’t get it.

      1. OR 7
        *Dashing wolf pic*
        Age: 5
        Species: Wolf
        Interests: Livestock

      2. I guffawed.

    3. I know this story. The minion nieces have it on blu-ray. It is called “Alpha and Omega”.

    4. We are one pup away from Three-Wolf Moon!

  28. The United States will not support a ransom or prisoner exchange for the Nigerian schoolgirls kidnapped by Boko Haram, the White House says.

    So the administration does in fact understand the consequences of perverse incentives.

  29. H R Geiger is dead.

    1. RIP. The man was a visionary.

      1. He really liked ridges.

  30. Well this is horrifying: Two boys seriously injured when inflatable bouncing house is blown into the air by wind

    Two young boys were seriously hurt late Monday afternoon when a gust of wind blew an inflatable “bounce house” structure into the air with three children inside, tossing two to asphalt from at least 15 feet above ground.

    The boys, ages 5 and 6, were taken to Albany Medical Center, where they were admitted for serious injuries. One suffered a traumatic head injury, officials said. A 10-year-old girl who was inside suffered minor scrapes when she fell, according to her mother.

    One of the boys landed on a parked car after he was tossed out of the toy, while the other landed on asphalt when the incident happened around 3:20 p.m. off Ferry Boulevard.

    Taylor Seymour, a resident of the apartment building where the accident occurred, said the wind picked the structure up and spun it around as if it was in a small tornado. One boy was thrown 30 or 40 feet northeast onto Ferry Boulevard, the other about 20 feet southeast, landing on the back of Seymour’s car. The bounce house was at least 15 feet off the ground when the boys fell out.

    1. I’m mildly surprised those things aren’t required to be anchored to the ground.

      1. Well, to be fair, the kids are probably required to wear seatbelts inside the thing.

      2. I’m mildly surprised that you think someone should *require* that.

        I am not, however, surprised that people are too stupid to do so absent a specific requirement back up by the threat of force.

        The first few times, ok – nobody knew. But now? Get some goddamned straps and a couple of stakes.

        1. I don’t think it should be required. I’m just surprised that it’s not.

        2. I’m mildly surprised that you think someone should *require* that.

          It is warty.

          Pretty sure he meant he was surprised by the lack of regulations…not advocating for them.

          For example: I am surprised everyday that I am not in jail for being a libertarian. Now certainly you don’t think I want to be in jail for being a libertarian do you?

          1. Precisely. Here, have #22 as thanks for sticking up for me.

            1. The problem is you’ll have to go unchain her from his basement to get her.

              “Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,
              ‘Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
              The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
              And I’ve a many curious things to shew when you are there.”

              1. DEAD GIVEAWAY

      3. I’m mildly surprised those things aren’t required to be anchored to the ground.

        Needs moar regulations!!

    2. The boys, ages 5 and 6, were taken to Albany Medical Center, where they were admitted for serious injuries.

      Thank God we finally passed comphrensive healthcare legislation. If the free market prevailed, these boys would be turned away due to the severity of their injuries.

      #derpyderpderpderpistan

  31. Ex UGA head football coach about to do federal prison:

    http://www.ajc.com/news/sports…..onn/nft3N/

  32. Mario Andretti, 74, nearly comes out of retirement to sub for one of his son’s drivers for Indy 500 practice

    That dude is a badass. Anybody who is willing to strap into a rocket ship of a car at 74, and hurtle himself at a concrete wall at 230mph has my respect.

    1. He is a total badass. Last American to win a world driving championship, though he did it in a Lotus that was the only car in the field to have ground effects.

  33. The rubrics for Harvard’s abortive “black mass” were written by a French author who later returned to the Catholic Church.

    http://thoughtsofacatholicbish…..uhaha.html

  34. OT.Down the rabbit hole: http://money.msn.com/top-stock…..ft-a-waste

    1. Zuckerberg is obviously really smart, so what stopped him from predicting this, like, within three seconds after first considering the idea?

      1. Dunno. Irrational faith in TOP. MEN?

        1. Works out to about $2500 per kid.

  35. Why has the story about the Philly bodega robberies gone unreported by fricken EVERYBODY except the local philly news?

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