Super Bowl

Michael Sam Drafted to NFL, Makes Out with Boyfriend


Time for somebody to start planning out a "husbands of the NFL" reality show?

Famous master of the odds Nate Silver predicted that even though the actual likelihood of openly gay college football player Michael Sam being drafted into the National Football League (NFL) was about 50-50, he'd favor Sam's chances. Silver was right. Sam was picked up on Saturday and won't have to go far. The University of Missouri linebacker will be heading to the St. Louis Rams.

The celebratory coverage on Saturday included Sam crying his eyes out, then making out with his boyfriend and also smashing cake in his face for some reason. The White House even offered boilerplate, yawn-worthy congratulations: "The President congratulates Michael Sam, the Rams and the NFL for taking an important step forward today in our nation's journey. From the playing field to the corporate boardroom, LGBT Americans prove every day that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are."

In a welcome break from tradition, BuzzFeed did not scour the Internet looking for random assholes saying nasty things about Sam being gay and instead highlighted people jokingly bothered by the fact that the man has two first names. Nevertheless, one Miami Dolphins player tweeted out that the kiss was "horrible," and was subsequently fined and suspended.

Should Sam actually take to the field come the fall he'll be the first openly gay professional football player. Well, sort of. There have probably been dozens of football players who have been gay and have been known to be gay to other players. But Sam will be the first player everybody knows is gay as he comes into the NFL.

Meanwhile, Jason Collins, the first professional basketball player to come out as gay while still involved in the sport, was picked up by the Brooklyn Nets and played 22 games for them this season. Though Collins is close to retirement age, rumor has it the Chicago Bulls have their eyes on him.

Many folks have and will be quick to declare how much they don't care about the sexual orientations of professional athletes, actors, or anybody really. Fine. It is nevertheless a significant cultural development toward a country that actually doesn't care about individual sexual orientation. The apathetic should celebrate this development, as it is a harbinger of a future where such revelations become less and less of a big deal. We can instead argue over the things that matter, like how every single athlete and coach in professional sports is just terrible, except for that one guy who is carrying the whole team.

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  1. Sorta OT: but the Browns might need a new WR because Josh Gordon tested positive for pot.

    Also, since the NBA has set the precedent for stripping an owner of his franchise, I propose stripping Haslam and Cleveland of the Browns and awarding San Antonio with a new AFC South team. Just move the Colts to the AFC North.

    1. That would be a real blow to the Browns’ hopes for success if they were a team that had any hopes of success in the first place.

      1. God I hope Manziel is a train wreck waiting to happen. I know Warty is too.

        1. Well, no, I hope he wins a bunch of Super Bowls, bangs a lot of skanky women, makes his insufferable money sign at every opportunity, and makes every other fan base hate him. But if he can’t win the Super Bowls, I hope he flames out spectacularly so I can fully enjoy hating him.

          1. Shut up, Warty. I’ll tell you what you hope for. I know better than you anyway.

            1. It’s second, but a really close second. I think he’d like Manziel to win a Super Bowl but do something so outrageous that the NFL strips the Browns of the Super Bowl win, then forcibly moves the team to Iqaluit.

        2. I’m expecting him to be the drunk, horny version of Tim Tebow, which is just about the funniest thing I can imagine.

          1. I can’t wait to see the cellphone pics of him banging hefty Cleveland girls in bar bathrooms.

            1. Is there any other kind of Cleveland girl?

              1. Of course there are. Some of them are hefty, some are meaty, some are beefy, some are corn-fed, some are hammy, some are sweat hogs.

                1. Man, that brings back memories of your mom.

            2. They let girls leave their basements in Cleveland?

            3. Yeah. I don’t know about that one. Even the girls who go to A&M are hot enough to be SEC quality. He’s in for a rude surprise. (Although the cheerleaders at his new gig got exponentially more bangable.)

          2. Tebow needs to reenter the league, to offset Manziel’s Anti-Tebow powers.

            1. A Tebow Manziel Super Bowl would be like Luke versus the Emperor in Star Wars. We are not living well enough to deserve such a spectacle.

              1. It would be so awesome. Especially if both offenses were tailor-made for their QB’s talents and the defenses were roughly a wash.

                1. They could even have a boxing/mma style press conference/weigh in.

            2. Tebow needs to reenter the league, to offset Manziel’s Anti-Tebow powers.

              I find it interesting that you can be a running QB who can’t pass or read defenses worth shit, but as long you act like spoiled bratty frat bro it’s all good, but be all Christian and shit and you’re the worst QB EVAH!

              Although I have heard some commentators criticize Johnny football’s (lack of) skills too, but not nearly as many who were agahst at Tebow’s lack of ability.

              1. I’ve heard Manziel fanboys go on about him having had success in SEC. Yet Tebow was arguably even more successful, certainly on a team-success level.

                1. Yet Tebow was arguably even more successful, certainly on a team-success level.

                  Yeah, Tebow basically willed his team to a national championship his junior year. Manziel played very well, but his team never even sniffed the national championship.

                  Manziel’s good copy because he’s got the skills of Tebow with the personality of Joe Namath. He’s going to make a lot of reporters very happy as long as he’s in the league.

                  1. Detroit’s 3rd string is better than both of them.

    2. Well, they did just draft the 2nd coming of Terrell Owens. Unfortunately this version played QB in college, but maybe they can move him to WR.

  2. You know who I bet that picture makes the most uncomfortable, the racist/homophobic sports writers that are making a big deal out of this.

    1. Sugarfree was probably disturbed by the cake.

    2. Where was their trigger warning?

  3. We can instead argue over the things that matter, like how every single athlete and coach in professional sports is just terrible, except for that one guy who is carrying the whole team.

    Sherm signed a $57 million contract (guaranteed $40 million) to stay with the Seahawks. Good. Except there goes the pay cap.

    1. That guy cracks me up. I don’t really understand why people give him so much hate, the fact that he’s capitalized off that created a brand of being an asshole/bad guy is kind of awesome and is brilliant from a marketing stand point.

      1. Sherm is very smart, and he knows what he’s doing. The fact that he’s also the best CB in the league doesn’t hurt. The fans love him (I know I do) and he’s got great charisma. I’m really glad he’s staying with the Hawks.

        1. Yeah if people don’t get that a Stanford alum that majored in marketing doesn’t understand what he’s doing they are imbeciles.

          1. Unfortunately, most people remember remember the scary black man, yelling at the pretty little white reporter. I like everyone who calling him a thug. He’s a Stanford grad, and even played an extra year to begin his Masters degree at Stanford. Not a thug. But the best corner in then NFL, smart dude, and shrewd businessman.

      2. Think of Sherm as a heel.

  4. I didn’t follow the coverage too closely on Saturday (prepping for hockey instead), so maybe there was more later… But no way did he “make out” with his boyfriend right when he got drafted. They kissed once for maybe a second.

  5. It is a bit annoying to hear cultural conservatives make claims that this was gay propaganda. I suppose straight players kissing their girlfriends is Hetero propaganda?

    Anyway. It’s over. There’s still a chance Sam doesn’t make the final cut. (He was drafted low afterall.). If that happens, we’re for massive cultural war shitstorm this fall.

    1. If that happens, we’re for massive cultural war shitstorm this fall.

      Please no… I don’t think anything could make me less interested in football season than layering fake outrage from the left and head-up-their-own-asses moralizing from the right on top of it.

      1. Wait, jesse, you don’t enjoy KULTUR WAR being injected into everything and having every fucking thing be politicized? What’s wrong with you?

        1. What’s wrong with you?

          I’d tell you, but H&R has character limits on posts.

          1. Don’t worry, jesse, I already know. *cough* you’re a mick *cough*

      2. How dare you homos infiltrate a wholesome, totally heterosexual, completely not-gay-at-all manly man’s pastime like football??? You people just couldn’t stand watching all those guys in spandex capris platonically slap each other’s asses, could you? You had to get in on the action.

        1. When you describe it that way, it almost sounds interesting, but then I remember that I’ve played it and watched it and could not possibly care less about anything having to do with it.

          I’m just sad rugby season is over. Now there’s a sport with a football shaped ball that I’ll sit and watch.

          1. You strike me as more of a wrestler than a football player. Now there’s a fine hetero sport for you to subvert.

            1. I miss Karelin. He brought fear to wrestling.

              1. I someday want to do a Karelin lift to somebody. Here’s a fine vintage interview with him.

                Occasionally, I still wish for the privacy of being a little fellow nobody sees. Teenagers sneer, ‘Look at this guy! The legs! The ears!’ And older people see my face and say, ‘My god! Look, quick! A criminal!’ “

                1. That was an an excellent article on Karelin.

            2. It’s an ancient Greek sport. Wouldn’t it be more accurate to say you filthy heteros are the ones who have subverted it? Always reappropriating our cultural triumphs…grumble grumble.

              My father was working through some some youthful regret for having quit football his freshman year. I did not play by choice.

              1. Football’s really fun because violence is fun. But holy, shit, football culture is amazingly corrosive. I still remember my shock, when I joined the team in 9th grade, that all of a sudden I was a faggot because I liked books. I had never been around people who valued stupidity before.

                1. I can’t wait for the first openly nerd player to e drafted.

                  1. Does Dan Dornick (’78-’85) count? He went to med school on the off season and is now a practicing Internist.

                2. I ended up pretty good friends with a few of the seniors on the team who had spent three or four years losing constantly and eliminated their zeal. It generally shielded me from the freshman and sophomore players who acted like goons. The coach was very much that way though.

                  1. I ended up pretty good friends with a few of the seniors on the team who had spent three or four years losing constantly and eliminated their zeal. It generally shielded me from the freshman and sophomore players who acted like goons.

                    Our class pretty much lost whatever sand they might have had during freshman year. The class ahead of us was ridiculously talented (during their senior year, 4 made all-state, one was the state’s offensive player of the year, and 8 or 9 made all-conference), and the best player on the team was a 6-5, 255-pound nerd who ended up majoring in chemical engineering at the University of Colorado and was named the state’s best male scholar-athlete his senior year. All the guys in our class who thought they were hot shit got educated really fast.

                3. Ehh.. never been in a football locker room. But in wrestling you had people on all parts of the spectrum either they were complete meat-heads, hypercompetive, sociopaths, or were average like me.

          2. “I’m just sad rugby season is over. Now there’s a sport with a football shaped ball that I’ll sit and watch.”

            I have a chance to play one last match, this August….I am unsure. BUT I WILL WATCH UNTIL THEY WHEEL ME OFF TO THE OLD SWISS HOME.

            1. Rugby is actually interesting. I have no idea why football gets all the love in the US.

              1. Because culture. The only thing that makes any sport interesting is having a rooting interest. Hard to develop a rooting interest in a sport you didn’t grow up around.

                Also, when you do grow up around a sport it shapes how you perceive other sports. To someone like me who grew up around and playing America football, rugby is a boring mess of tackle the man with the ball. The prohibition against blocking off the ball makes rugby a hard chew for people who grew up around American football.

                1. The passing game also makes American Football more interesting too. I know everyone like to bitch and moan about the “Madden style offenses” and the rules changes that gave rise to the modern game, but the NFL made those rule changes because fast paced passing action sells a hell of a lot more than 3 yards and a cloud of dust.

          3. I’m just sad rugby season is over. Now there’s a sport with a football shaped ball that I’ll sit and watch.

            I like Aussie rules a lot. Not much ass-slapping but they do lock horns a lot – it’s like watching a herd of Buffalo or something.

  6. I’m just hoping that this will give Hillary the inspiration she needs to make the courageous announcement we’ve all been anticipating for years.


      not likely

    2. “I’m an idiot”?

    3. What difference, at this point, does it make?

    4. How great would it be if right in the middle of Hillary’s acceptance speech, Janet Reno suddenly popped up from out of nowhere and the two and the two of them lip-locked for like a full minute?

  7. The President congratulates Michael Sam, the Rams and the NFL for taking an important step forward today in our nation’s journey. From the playing field to the corporate boardroom, LGBT Americans prove every day that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are.

    Except the only reason this is a story is because of who he is or who he sleeps with.

    1. ^ this. He’d be almost anonymous otherwise. Other players they’re not talking about will probably have more impact on the league long term who got no attention.

  8. The apathetic should celebrate this development, as it is a harbinger of a future where such revelations become less and less of a big deal.

    Can I at least be annoyed that his sexuality is supposed to be none of my business, yet, when noboday asked he felt it necessary to tell everyone and throw himself a party?

    1. The party part is pretty normal for a playing expecting to be drafted.

      1. No, I meant he’s basically celebrating himself in all of this, not just during the draft.

        1. To be fair, wasn’t that going to happen anyway? He came out to his teammates before the season and they kept it a secret all year at his request so every game didn’t turn into a circus. From what I’ve seen, his motivation to come out publicly was to nip any potential professional issues in the bud if/when he was drafted.

          I think that, considering that gays are essentially a sanctified class at this point in time by a media industry looking for any excuse to turn them into public martyrs, Sam’s handling of the whole situation was done about as maturely and professionally as one could expect given the current social climate. I don’t think he’s going to last very long in the league, but that doesn’t mean he’s acted like an adult to get there.

          Fuck, if I had been drafted into the NFL, especially considering how tough it is these days with smaller drafts, I’d be bawling my eyes out, too.

          1. but that doesn’t mean he’s acted like an adult to get there.

            Damn, that should read hasn’t acted like an adult.

  9. “The apathetic should celebrate this development, as it is a harbinger of a future where such revelations become less and less of a big deal.”

    When he’s cut for mysterious reasons, like DeSean Jackson, and nobody on the left bats an eye, then I’ll believe such revelations are becoming less and less of a big deal.

    Something tells me that river only flows in one direction.

  10. The interesting part of this will be how his teammates react and how the team reacts when they realize he might not be NFL-caliber. How do you cut him without a shitstorm? I had a friend at Florida who did very well in college ball, but was too small and too slow to jump to the pros. It happens.

    The teammate thing is something people will dismiss out of hand, but we do segregate men and women in showers and bathrooms. Why? Doesn’t the same logic apply in this situation? Not judging here, just wondering how it will play out.

    1. So you think that his teammates will ogle him in the shower just because he’s gay?

      1. “Not judging here.” What I think is irrelevant. I really don’t give a shit. Besides, they’re paid millions, so they can man up and take the male gaze, if it happens.

        It’s what they think that matters. They could raise hell on the same basis that they might if this were a female kicker.

    2. It’s not that hard to keep under control when in a semi-public nudity situation with people you might want to fuck in other circumstances.

    3. Four words: Starship Troopers shower scene

      1. Kids!

        Three words: Robocop locker room scene.

        1. Erp, apparently my spell checker remembers locker room is two words and I don’t.

    4. The cut question is probably why he fell to the 7th round. Is he going to cause distractions? And, Are we going to get sued if we cut him? Were why teams avoided him.

      1. NO his shitty performance at the combine and pro day workouts are why he fell to the 7th round. Being gay is the only reason he was drafted at all

  11. “LGBT Americans prove every day that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are.””

    Can someone keep this quote handy next time he argues for Affirmative Action?

    1. Shouldn’t that be “what you are”? Seems to me that who you are is something you should be judged on. But perhaps it was said by someone who bases their identity on race or sexual preferences or something like that.

    2. “LGBT Americans prove every day that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are do.”

      Seems more accurate

  12. Sam was picked up on Saturday


  13. Now because of this I can’t watch TV for at least a week, because this is all anyone will talk about.

  14. Speaking of Dolphins embarrasing themselves on Twitter, Mike Pouncey decided it was a good idea to tweet about how much he was looking forward to hazing the new rookies:


    1. Twitter–exposing people with low impulse control since 2006.

  15. The unending Reason obsession with gaiety really is getting on my nerves. Way to distract and cheapen the brand, cosmos.

    Here’s a clue: the ongoing acceptance of gaiety is both (a) a pretty minor deal, in the context of our new Total State, and (b) if anything, an example of how civil society can sort things out without sending out for the jackboots.

    Maybe if you were pushing the latter point, I could understand. But you’re not. Instead, you are linking arms with people who are using this issue to expand the Total State. Not cool, Reason.

    1. Gotta get invited to the cocktail parties somehow.

    2. I have yet to meet a person who is not in the media who gives a shit about this. No one cares, least of all football fans. If an owner puts out a winning team, fans are not going to care if the entire team is gay or vegisexual or what. Pro sports is one of the only true meritocracies in the world. If you produce, no one cares if what kind of person you are.

      1. And we have to wonder what will happen if he doesn’t perform. The media will probably paint the Ram’s organization as homophobes. The Culture War is bullshit and poisons everything it touches.

      2. Precisely. Baltimore’s star player for years was a man who was at least an accessory to murder, for fuck’s sake. If football fans will overlook that, they won’t care how much their team’s star loves dicks.

        1. No kidding. Ray Lewis is not one of the faces of the NFL. Micheal Vick tortured and killed dogs and went to prison for it and still is in demand as a quarterback. The only reason they didn’t tear down the Rocky Statue in Philadelphia and put one up of Vick is because he kept getting hurt and didn’t win. Had Vick won Philly a Super Bowl, he would be a God in that town.

          No one cares where this guy puts his dick. He just has to perform.

        2. NO, no he wasn’t.

          You do realize that after initially trying to cover things up he wizened up and became a witness for the state and testified under oath against his 2 buddies that actually stabbed the guys and took a plea deal on the obstruction charge without fighting it.

          Then more importantly corroborating evidence from witnesses who had NOTHING to do with Lewis showed that the dead guys initiated the fight and the “murder” was legitimately self defense with both of the accused being acquitted on all charges

      3. John—The people who value signalling this, and all things homo, as their superior moral standing care about this.

        I have friends and relatives who are very vocal about gay news items that no one should really give a shit about. But we all have to talk about it and publicly declare our approval of these issues. Why haven’t you posted this to your timeline or “liked” this? DO YOU HATE THE HOMOS?

        It’s the same dynamic when the chronically insecure obnoxiously signal their standing at cocktail parties and it’s just as tedious.

        1. The funny thing about that JW is how dehumanizing that is to gays. You should judge Sam on his football ability or if you know him his moral value as a person, neither of which has anything to do with him being gay.

          By making Sam a symbol for them to show their “tolerance” and status, they are really just treating Sam like some kind of gay minstrel.

          “Come on, lets see the gay guy dance and sing for us so we can all fee good about ourselves” is really all that is.

          1. “You gay people should be accustomed to being used as props by now, since you like Broadway musicals so much.”

          2. There’s also the element of the joy that comes from doing a victory dance over those homo-hating rednecks that’s driving this.

            If you can’t use homo buttsecks as an in-your-face taunt over the people you obsessively see as your cultural enemies, then how are you going to validate your self-worth as a human being?

            1. Of course. The other thing about that is that the Prog love of gays is only as good as the ability it gives Progs to lord their superiority over their cultural enemies. The moment gays are no longer useful in that regard, the progs will drop the gays like a bad habit.

              If defending Muslim’s rights to stone gays to death ever becomes the way for Progs to show their smug, well gays are just going to have to be stoned. That won’t bother the progs since it was always about them and the gays were never really human to them in the first place.

        2. You WILL celebrate diversity! I said CELEBRATE! NOW GODDAMMIT!!

        3. Why haven’t you posted this to your timeline or “liked” this? DO YOU HATE THE HOMOS?

          When Facebook SWPLs were status-signaling each other last year by making the equal sign their profile pic, I put up a Seinfeld clip of Kramer at the Aids walk and wrote “I don’t want to wear the ribbon.”

    3. You have a pretty unending obsession with noting reason’s noting of gaiety. Why the fuck do you care? If that’s what they want to write an article on (and let’s face it, they’re always scrambling for shit to write about), then that’s what they write an article on.

      The homo thing seems to bug you just a little too much. You could choose not to care, but you don’t do that. Instead you get testy and annoyed. I have to ask again, why do you give a shit?

      1. Maybe because, with regards to gay shit, Reason seems to always agree with the “more government” arguments.

        1. Which showed up in this article where exactly?

          1. It was a general answer to a general question.

            1. Yeah, this calls for a [citation needed].

              Seriously, when has Reason *ever* said that we need MOAR GUBMINT as a solution for something to do with the gheys?

              1. Forcing people to recognize gay marriage isn’t MOAR GUBMINT?

                1. One of these isn’t like the other.

                  Reason has publicly stated that public access laws need to be applied to gays or is that just the argument in your head?

                  Leaving aside that the state shouldn’t be passing out marriage licenses, mendacious twats using public access laws to punish their cultural enemies, as a result of gay marriage, isn’t even remotely the same thing as recognizing that all people should have equal rights under the law.

                  1. I started off supporting SSM when I believed it was about equal rights under the law.

                    I withdrew my support when I realized it was about initiating government force against people with politically incorrect beliefs.

                    1. You seem to have a problem separating issues.

                    2. Oh I can separate them just fine.

                      I came to my conclusion when I saw that it was all or nothing. No compromise at all. No acceptable way to get equivalent legal footing for same sex couples without the ability to sue anyone who didn’t want to call it a marriage. That’s when my bullshit detector started clanging. Equal legal rights are unacceptable if they don’t come with the right to sue? Well, I can see what’s important here, and it’s not equality under the law.

                  2. isn’t even remotely the same thing as recognizing that all people should have equal rights under the law.

                    True enough. But the Gay Rights Crusade isn’t about equal rights under the law, at least, not anymore. Its about enshrining gays as the next protected class, with all the special privileges (in the olde sense) that entails.

                    Gay marriage is just the thin edge of the wedge, intended to bootstrap a circular argument about the definition of marriage into an Equal Protection ruling, which in turn gets you 90% of the way to protected class status.

        2. gay shit?

          Is that what you call it when semen is mixed in with it?

      2. You have a pretty unending obsession with noting reason’s noting of gaiety.

        I can’t recall ever bitching about it before. At least on gay marriage posts, we’re arguing about state action.

        But this? It stinks of the NY/DC media bubble.

        The homo thing seems to bug you just a little too much.

        It really doesn’t. My apathy about what other people do in their spare time is near-absolute. I just don’t care if you are gay or not. And never have.

        I find the ongoing spectacle of Gay Rights as the Moral Challenge of Our Time to be kind of repellent, though, mostly because of the people pushing it and where it is headed.

        1. Indeed, gay rights is now a major leftist wedge issue that’s used for expanding politics and the power of the state into every aspect of life. It’s another “racism” card used to defeat Republicans and conservatives.

          True, libertarians may not care if the GOP loses, but the problem is that when the GOP loses, the Democrats win, and then do even better at eliminating the last vestiges of libertarian values in the country.

        2. ^THIS^

          Personally, I am more worried about a lot more in the world than a 7th round pick of a Saint Louis team *hisses at speaking St. Louis aloud*

  16. The apathetic should celebrate this development, as it is a harbinger of a future where such revelations become less and less of a big deal.

    If only that were true. Transgender is next, followed by some other group. Besides, if you think that “first openly gay _____” is ever going to die, think again. We still have “race issues” in most pro sports, even though it was supposed to “become less and less of a big deal.” The NFL (and pro-sports in general) is at a peak, and is going to be heading downhill in the not too distant future. What sort of gimmicks are they going to be using to keep ratings at their astronomical levels? If NASCAR is any sort of precedent, they’ll start a parade of “firsts” (notice that they wooed Danica over as the ratings started to tank) with a mix of soap opera style drama.

    This is what happens when we tabloidize everything. When people become obsessed with every sports star’s personal life, then it’s a big deal that one of them likes dudes.

    I couldn’t care less if Sam screws llamas or has 15 wives or likes men, I just wanna watch some damn football without Costas and his cohorts blowing their PC load all over the camera lens.

    1. Yep. I’ve spent the last couple of weeks having bar room conversations about the draft. Sam never came up in any of those convo’s. You know why? Because other than the historic footnote that he is openly gay, there is nothing remarkable about him.On the other hand, I had an hour long conversation about whether the Raiders should draft Manziel over Carr.

      1. My facebook feed for the last couple of days have been about the draft and no one remotely mentioned Michael Sam. The only people who made a big deal about his being drafted were the Culture War warriors who coincidently aren’t into football.

    2. I am not sure neckcar is the best example. It has a core group of fans and then somehow managed to lure a lot of casual fans in the late 1990s and 2000s. I think they were able to do that partially because of the disenchantment with other sports leagues. Where neckcar went wrong was it over expanded and watered down its brand. It canceled races in places where its core fan base was and put them in places where it only had a casual fan base. Also, it increased the number of races during the year so much that even some of its core fans grew tired of it. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing and neckcar found it.

      That, said I agree with you that the NFL is headed for a bit of a fall. I just don’t think it has anything to do with politics or soap opera. The NFL is headed for a fall for the same reason neckcar has taken a hit; they have over expanded and diluted their brand and product so much that people are going to start to lose interest. The quality of regular season NFL is often terrible and on Thursday nights with two teams with no preparation time from the last week unwatchable. Maybe the NFL is right in thinking they can sell their product no matter how poor the quality is, but I doubt it. At some point that is going to have an effect.

      1. I absolutely agree with your reasoning about the cause of NASCAB’s failures, but I’m saying that the first haven that league admins run to is the gimmick. Racing, in general, is a great example because it’s been losing steam for a decade now. Most of the top tier racing leagues have gone the way of gimmickry to keep people involved.

        NASCAR did the GWC, Lucky Dog, Have at ’em boys, and acquired the human gimmick, Danica Patrick. IndyCar did Push2Pass, pack racing (until it nearly killed Brack, Briscoe, Hamilton, Conway, and did kill Wheldon), option tires, and street festivals. F1 did DRS, KERS, no refueling, fuel consumption limits, and option tires.

        Point being, when the NFL starts in a decline, Goodell (or his replacement) will start to flail just like the racing leagues. He’ll try to find any gimmick he can in order to increase short term viewership. First female NFL player? First openly gay coach? Additional stupid rules to make the games even more offense-centric? All of the above if the failing racing series are any indication.

        1. Now I see what you are saying and you are probably right. The stupid thing is that one of the things that is killing the NFL in my view is the total obsession with offense and scoring. The game has gone totally out of whack. Baseball figured out the hard way that even though people say they like homeruns and offense, 12 to 11 five hour long games did not sell. Baseball’s ratings and attendance went up after they cut off the roids and the juiced balls and brought the game back into some proportion. The NFL is getting pretty close to becoming what baseball was in the roid era. And they are going to run into the same problem. Everyone says they love offense right up until every game is just offense and takes five hours to play.

          1. Ugh, there goes John doing his crotchety geezer routine with sports again. “It was all better in my day, when the NFL could give a hoot about touchdowns and all games ended in a 2-2 tie! Harumph!”

            I agree that the rule changes always seems to help the offense, but everyone knows defense still wins championships.

            You (and me) might like a game a certain way, but the fact is the NFL has exploded in popularity in step with the big rule changes, eg transforming draft day from a nerd endeavor to a prime time event. The draft! Hard to argue “scoring obsession” is bringing the league down in flames. The political nonsense the NFL is getting into, coupled with the public not understanding what “voluntary risk” means RE concussions will kill the NFL, not trying to score more TD’s.

            FYI – the last few years scoring is definitely up: 22.3 pts/gm/tm sine ’08. Those halcyon days of yore when men were men and played REAL football – say, 1960-65? 22.1. Tragedy.

            1. There is a limit to everything Horatio. If it were just about scoring, Arena league would have taken over by now. Eventually things can get out of proportion to such a degree that the game isn’t any good anymore. This happened to baseball and is happening to football.

              Yes, defense still wins. When it doesn’t, the game will lose popularity because it won’t be as entertaining.

        2. I’m just glad Indycar stopped short of the NASCAB gimmicks! That series is finally starting to regain some respectability, and it’s quite enjoyable.

          1. It is. I went to the race in Baltimore last year. It was great. It was a real street grand prix.

            I always liked Indy car racing. The sport nearly destroyed itself with the CART Indy racing league split. It finally has its act together a bit. In fact, it being much less popular than NASCAR makes it better for the individual fan I think.

            1. I agree, I was at the Indy GP last weekend and it was great. There was 4 races, autograph sessions, and you can walk virtually anywhere. I asked one of the mechanics if I could come in the garage and look at the car and they just let me in.

              I could go OT on Indycar for days…

              1. I could go OT on Indycar for days…

                Same here! I just ordered 2 Indycar books. Dr. Olvey’s Rapid Response and Jade Gurss’ Beast. Both look like great reads.

                1. Is Rapid Response the book that talks about Gordon Smileys crash? Talk about Gruesome…. has a nice article up basically advertising the new Black Noon book.

                  1. I think so. I’ve always been curious about how they patch together these guys who have just slammed into a concrete wall at 220 MPH. I’m really curious about Zanardi’s crash, and how the heck they saved a guy whose femurs were both severed by the nose of a race car. I dunno if I have the stomach for the parts about the Smiley crash. I saw the video once, and once was more than enough. In a sense, it makes me glad there is no public video of the Renna crash, as I’ve heard that it was even worse.

          2. How about that GP of Indy? I was pleasantly surprised how racy that course was.

            1. It’s amazing how simple the changes to the track were, and how effective they were. Indycar has figured out the formula, all you need a couple of long straights with a tight corner at the end.

              1. They have been running sports car races at Daytona since the place opened. It is not that hard to make a road course on the infield of a big oval and use the oval for straights and big banked turns.

                1. It’s harder than it looks for the infield road courses to be designed and built to a good quality. First, there is no elevation change, which is one of the defining characteristics of many of the purpose built road courses. Second, it’s difficult to find enough room to put in signature turns with open wheel formula car quality runoffs. Third, designers tend to make up for the long sweeping oval turns and huge oval straights with mickey mouse technical sections to get in a quantity of slow turns, and to get the cars down from 200+ MPH. Finally, the infield courses tend to be put in after the fact, and the viewing experience can sometimes be compromised by oval-centric infrastructure.

                  1. Those doctors at Methodist are pretty good. They are doing a special display on the turbine cars at the museum this year. They have the body panels off of the front of one of the wedge cars, and it’s pretty incredible. The only thing protecting the drivers feet from the wall is a single layer of sheet metal…. Those racers were all lunatics.

                    1. Oops, hit reply on the wrong comment.

      2. The NFL is headed for a fall for the same reason neckcar has taken a hit; they have over expanded and diluted their brand and product so much that people are going to start to lose interest.

        It’s amazing how short-sighted Goodell is on this. He’s wanting to expand overseas and increase the number of regular season games to 18.

        First of all, the NFL’s talent base is already watered down so badly that roughly half the teams in the league can’t even field a decent quarterback. There’s a shot out there of all the NFL QBs from the early 60s, and I think the only “bad” QB in the lot was Sam Etcheverry, who’s in the CFL Hall of Fame. The TV money keeps a lot of bad owners in business (see Hugh Culverhouse and Tampa Bay in the 1980s) that would have folded the franchises years ago under normal circumstances.

        Secondly, 18 games? Is Goodell high? As fun as the USFL could be, that schedule was overkill, and the NFLPA would be crazy to allow it considering the injuries that come out of the sport.

        1. 18 games plus an extra playoff round. They already have a problem with the top teams clinching homefield and mailing it in. Go to 18 games and there will be two or three meaningful games in the last three weeks of the season. It would be awful.

          If they want more TV money just give teams more biweeks. No one cares if there are fewer games on in a given week.

  17. OT: “Libertarians : i want a utopian society where people are held accountable for their actions, but I don’t want to accept any culpability for things past a certain point of perceived influence.”

    I had an acquaintance write this on their status and I have no idea what they are talking about.

    1. Externalities!

    2. They want you to pay for the sins of your fathers.

      1. Basically. The guy is one of those people who made poor choices in life, thought that they were smarter then everyone else, and now that he is reaping the consequences of those choices believes that he as screwed over by the white male patriarchal corporate system.

    3. Me either. I guess he is saying you shouldn’t be held accountable for things you can’t control. Makes sense. But if you can’t control it, it is not the result of your actions, right?

    4. Translation: “Libertarians are so bad that it is hard to articulate”.

    1. No kidding. He went in what, the 6th Round? I would guess Sam will be lucky to make $500,000 in salary this year. I bet the Rams made three times that in additional jersey sales this weekend alone.

      1. He was in supplemental part of the seventh round, about a half dozen spots from being Mr. Irrelevant.

    2. I was hoping the Browns would take him for just this reason. Why have one media circus when you can have two?

      1. That would have been just too brilliant and great to ever actually happen.

        Sorry to hear about your receiver getting banned for smoking dope. I had never heard of that guy but saw his numbers from last year. How the hell did he get that many catches and yards with those quarterbacks throwing to him? He must the best receiver in the league by a long shot.

        He also must be the dumbest. The NFL tells the players when they are going to test them for weed and only do it like once or twice a year. All he had to do was stop smoking weed for a couple of weeks before the test and he still managed to test positive.

        1. It’s Like, I don’t care about nothin man,
          roll another blunt, Yea (ohh ohh ohh),

          La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
          La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

          I was gonna make the Pro Bowl until I got high
          I was gonna get up and find the endzone but then I got high
          my career is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
          – cause I got high [repeat 3X]

        2. It’s amazingly stupid, but when will the NFL learn that suspensions for weed are bad for business? When you have a ton of young black dudes with money, weed’s gonna get smoked. Not to mention that most of these guys are addicted to prescription opiates, which the NFL somehow is OK with.

          1. It is totally stupid. Those players go through incredible amounts of pain to play. If I were the NFL, I would rather have them smoking weed to play than taking opiates. The NBA doesn’t test for weed and no one seems to care about that.

            Here you have in Manziel one of the biggest names in the draft and a potentially huge money maker for the league if he succeeds and he just lost his best receiver to throw to because of the weed ban. That isn’t just bad for business, that is idiotic.

            1. Zero tolerance, dude.

  18. until we have the first transgendered color-blind left-handed pan-sexual latin black Korean mormon national hockey league offensive superstar, we have failed as a society

    *apologies to Paul Beatty for the edit

    1. I’m offended that you think left-handed belongs on that list. We’ve totally been mainstreamed now that we don’t have to hand write things all the time, and have right-handed orphans to use can openers and scissors for us.

      1. I might trust my orphans with a can opener, but scissors?!

        Perhaps you use your overseer orphans for such work?

        1. Perhaps you use your overseer orphans for such work?

          No. The overseers are still capable of independent thought. I have my most docile worker orphans use the scissors. That or orphans I’ve picked up from Nikki’s Orphan Bargain Barn. Hand them scissors and poorly executed hilarity ensues.

      2. You’re such an Uncle Ned Flanders! Selling out to the right-handriarchy for mere trinkets! We will not stop until left-handed golf clubs are as easy to find as right-handed ones, until left-handed chainsaws are the norm, until cars have a driver’s cupholder on the left!

  19. I was talking to my girlfriend’s dad about the draft (Browns season ticket holder) and he has incredibly low expectations for Manziel. He’s been let down too many time.

    1. Perhaps he could request some pallbearer services in future!

    2. Manziel is a great fit for the Browns. Manziel being an overrated QB, and Cleveland being where overrated QBs go to die.

  20. Sam. Ram. The jokes write themselves. NTTAWWT.

    1. Ahh yes, I can’t wait until Adrian Peterson gets Rammed by Michael Sam…

      1. Sam Rams Woodhead into his tight end.

        1. I can hear John Madden Now…

          “and on this play you can see Sam gets a little out of position and leaves a gaping hole for the wide reciever”

  21. I’m sure when southern people saw a black man kissing a white woman they had similar sentiments.

    I’m happy to see that our society can look at these gay people and begin to tolerate and accept the fact that these people exist in nature and within the tribe of humans.

    Homosexuality may be an abnormality that exists among humans but I feel that it is definitely a deviation that we can live with. At least some of us can live with.

    I have an 8 and 6 year old daughter and I’ve had to explain why those two men in NYC are holding hands and kissing before. It’s not that difficult

    1. I am pretty sure that most of the North Shore of Boston still has those sentiments when they see a black man kissing his white girlfriend, Alice.

      In fact, if the experiences of the inter racial couples I know are any guide, a good chuck of the black community would agree with them.

      1. I’m in an interracial couple myself.

        From it I’ve learned that I don’t know how to treat a woman, I can’t be trusted, I’m lazy, and I’ll probably leave my girlfriend that first chance I get. Oh, and I’m cheap.

        Unfortunately for those people, they don’t know how stubborn I am.

        1. There are a lot of interracial couples in the Army. The ones I have known faced more hostility from different people than I would have ever imagined. I figured all of the hostility would just come from old people like their parents and grandparents. That seems to happen less often than I would have thought. Most of the hostility seems to come from younger people and often from black women and douche bag white men most of all. All of the couples I have known have been black men and white women and both races seem to not like what they view as the other race coming in and competing with them for mates.

          1. Racism is natural. It’s how races came to exist. You know, by coupling with someone of your own race instead of another race. It can be unlearned to a point, but I believe it’s more nature than nurture.

          2. Yeah, it’s kind of weird how it works, and I imagine it’s different depending on what races you’re dealing with. My girlfriend is Vietnamese. I’ve gotten a lot of hostility from old and young people. Meanwhile, no one in my family gives a crap. From all of this I’ve become convinced that the Asian-American community gets away with rampant racism because most people can’t understand their languages.

            1. the Asian-American community gets away with rampant racism because most people can’t understand their languages.

              Kids learn this lesson in middle school. You take a seemingly innocuous word, and redefine it within your group of friends to mean something not so nice. Then, as you’re calling that annoying kid with the lisp a “great guy,” all your friends giggle because you just called him a buttmunching momma’s boy who still carries a blankey.

              1. True, I remember some of my friends did that with the word “cornbread” We were idiots.

                In any case, I think it’s kind of funny that people are that insecure.

      2. you have an excellent point John.

  22. LGBT Americans prove every day that you should be judged by what you do and not who you are.

    And yet, I’ve yet to see, hear, or read any objective analysis of how good of a player Sam actually is.

    OK, not entirely true, I think in between all the “Look! A gay football player!” stuff I may have heard that he’s OK but not that great. He might make a decent backup DE/ OLB, but that’s about it. I really pity the negative coverage the Rams will get if they end up cutting him because it turns out he’s not even that good.

    1. He was defensive player of the year last year, in the SEC.

      He’s a good football player. The NFL is trying to downplay him now so they don’t look like homophobes.

      1. He was defensive player of the year last year, in the SEC.

        Didn’t know that. I don’t follow college football all that closely. Perhaps you’re onto something about the NFL hedging their bets in case he gets cut.

        1. He was, but I don’t think college awards are a good indicator of future NFL success.

          1. What, you mean former Heisman trophy winner Gino Torretta wasn’t the greatest QB in NFL history? /sarc

        2. From what I’ve heard (which is admittedly very little), he fit Missouri’s scheme very well, but doesn’t necessarily fit the NFL mold of a LB or a DE. Supposedly, he is being looked at as a good special teams player who may be able to develop into an OLB with some serious coaching.

      2. Most Heisman Trophy winners suck in the NFL. Being co-defensive MVP for even the mighty SEC means jack and shit at the next level. If he’s not fast enough to be an NFL LB or strong enough to be an NFL DE, he will get cut and that’s not the Rams fault. It’s up to him to make the team.

      3. The NFL is littered with corpses clinging to their college hardware. It’s all about what you WILL do and how many other dudes can also do that.

        My own valuation of Sam, which of course is better than anyone else’s by nature of it being mine, is he is a good pass rusher – albeit with only one move – and looks like utter shit in pass coverage, playing flat footed and stiff. There’s a kind of market saturation for that skillset, which is in part what drove the proliferation of 3-4 schemes, since there are more 250lb guys who are good at football then there are 300lb guys who are good at football.

        Oh, and he likes boning hipsters, apparently. Come to think of it, he’s a fucking boring prospect. According to Shackford I “should” care that he’s gay and drafted but for shit’s sake I find the whole thing dull.

  23. That’s nice.

  24. Final thoughts on this issue from a man in trouble:

  25. If there was ever a behavior that calls for judging by what one does, wouldn’t that be sodomy?

  26. And the nation is in a tizzy about autism

  27. Who cares? If he’d kissed his girlfriend would it be an issue? Gays exist. And they don’t make a choice. It’s genetic. Get over it.

  28. The fine levied against the Dolphin player, and the banning of Donald Sterling, are the bigger stories behind this story here.

    The in-your-face push of homosexuality, hedonism, has now reached the point that it is an enforceable Thought Crime to think independently on the subject.

    And Reason is praising Big Brother here and joining the lynching mob. It is an attack against the concept behind their chosen handle itself. They’re right about one thing though, it will probably get worse (the Thought Crime persecutions) before it gets better.

    Conflict between physiology and psychology in one person has nothing to do with freedom or reason. I want the government and the “Thought Crime” police out of my bedroom, out of my pockets and out of my life!!

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