Supreme Court Approves Prayers Before Public Meetings, Elderly Vampires May Consume Us All, Target CEO Resigns: P.M. Links


  • Maybe they should rethink the logo
    credit: rowanb73 / photo on flickr

    In a 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court decided today that it is not a violation of the Constitution for public government meetings to open with a prayer, even if said prayer promotes a particular religion.

  • If you think old folks are only sucking the livelihood from the young via government entitlement programs, stay tuned: Research shows that injections of the blood of the young may be able to help reverse aging.
  • As a consequence of the latest fake outrage over the politics and backgrounds of college commencement speakers, Condoleeza Rice has withdrawn from giving a speech at Rutgers University.
  • Target's CEO has resigned in the wake of the huge data breach that affected millions of the retailer's customers last December.
  • A planned three-day subway strike in London that was supposed to start today was called off at the last minute.
  • The Drug Enforcement Administration has announced it will significantly increase the amount of marijuana it's going to acquire for use in medical research.

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  1. The Drug Enforcement Administration has announced it will significantly increase the amount of marijuana it’s going to acquire for use in medical research.

    Dr. Dave’s not here man.

    1. Hello.


        1. Fuck the Pens.

          And fuck pencils too.

            1. Not too far off the Habs/Bruins rivalry.

        2. I thought Lundqvist was going to steal one yesterday. Fortunately, the Rags power play is inept.

          1. God damn you Reason! Invest in software that smites squirrels!

            /waves picture of Matt Welch. Burns photo.

          2. Some of us hate both the Rangers and the Crysbys.

          3. As a Devils fan, hoping for embarrassing failure by the Rangers and Wild is all I have left.

            Fun fact: the team I was rooting for lost 7 of 8 first round series. I’m considering focusing on basketball at this point.

            1. So you’re the other Devils fan.

              Fuck Gary Bettman, and fuck the trapezoid.

              1. And fuck the shootout, and fuck Gary Bettman again.

                But don’t fuck Kovalchuk. He “retired” at the perfect time; it was so perfect that I imagine Lou spent three months convincing him to do it.

                1. At least Chico finally retired.

                  One of my favorite Doc/Chico exchanges:

                  Chico: Is Madden OK? I don’t see him on the bench.

                  Doc: The answer to that question will become clear as soon as Madden steps out of the penalty box.

              2. Allow the goalie to be checked like defensemen when he’s in the corner and then you can fuck the trapezoid.

        3. Go Rangers!

    2. I suppose the DEA will also significantly increase the amount of ammo it’s going to acquire.

    3. That Colorado skunk weed isn’t gonna seize itself.

    4. Hold on. Marijuana is a Schedule I drug. Schedule I drugs, by definition, “have no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States”. So are they trying to undermine the drug’s status? Or are they just hypocrites?

      1. Repeat after me: Fuck you, that’s why.

      2. If I were to hazard a guess, it’s so they can conduct “research” that will (unexpectedly) conclude that marijuana is just as bad as they’ve always said it is, and is in fact worse than that. They will then point to these internal (unpublished) “studies” whenever someone questions them. FOIA requests will lead to large streams of (redacted) text that “proves” they were right all along.

  2. Obama sits on the Iron Throne
    May he go the way of King Joffrey. Both act like petulant children. Well, in Joffrey’s case–acted.

    1. Does he not get that everyone fucking hated Joffrey?

      1. Nearly every comment on that article is from sycophants of the president.

        His Cult of Personality marches on!

        1. I’d actually be really surprised if he ever watched the show. A staffer almost assuredly told him about it.

          1. He’s supposedly a fan of some other science fiction and fantasy, so it’s possible. I mean, who do you think requested the Goege W. Bush head?

            1. He’s supposedly a lot of stuff. I just don’t see a megalomaniac like that reading anything that isn’t about him.

              1. Yes, but couldn’t he do that by identifying with a character? I bet he sees himself as Littlefinger.

                1. He’s totally Hodor, which isn’t fair to Hodor. expect it’s “obama. obama. obama.”

                  1. I just realized Bran while possessing Hodor killed the guy who chopped off Jamie’s hand who crippled Bran.

                    Note: None of that shit is in the books.

                    1. Jamie’s hand got cut off.

            2. It wasn’t specifically put in for being a George W. Bush head, they just got a box of random fake heads left over from other shows, one of which happened to be George W. Bush. You couldn’t even tell it was him unless someone had said something.

              1. Who told you that, Obama?

                I actually don’t care whether it was just random heads left over from the previous administration, actually just a random mask, the head of the real George W. Bush, or done as intentional political commentary.

          2. “Hey guys, how about that Throne Games show? That King Godfrey seems like a swell guy.”

            1. Shut the fuck up.

                1. Kinnath is a particularly sensitive Obama fan, apparently.

            2. Also note the first paragraph in that article:

              During his typically self-deprecating White House Correspondent’s Dinner speech on Saturday, President Barack Obama joked that his planned use of executive actions would put him on par with King Joffrey.

              Yeah, he’s so self-deprecating, such a modest guy.

              1. Self-deprecating, self-fellating?

                Same thing, right?

                Tah-mah-to, Tow-may-tow…

              2. Sorry, but that’s not self-deprecation. Obama is incapable of it. Tip: Is the butt of his jokes himself, or someone else?

                You decide:


        2. John Bays (John_Bays)
          God I LOVE this Guy. Nobody could have “Bridged The Gap” or done more to quell the fires of lingering prejudice. He’s Smart – Has a compelling Life Story – His Wife and Kids are Perfect.

          Predator Drones instead of Boots On The Ground – Got BinLaden – The GDP is up – Stock Market doubled – Unemployment Down – Americans Have Affordable Health Care – The “Grin” is infectious and the humor impeccable.

          “Barack Hussein Obama” – we even get a kick out of the name.

          This is sickening. It is absolute hero worship, no critical thinking whatsoever. “His wife and kids are perfect?” Seriously?

          1. Jesus Christ. Can we get the Russians and Chinese to invade now, please?

            I can’t think of any other man in American history who received so much adulation for accomplishing so little since Custer.

    2. Eddie B. (edgeninja)
      SUPER USER?1,300 Fans?Ayn Rand was an Atheist & Reagan Raised Taxes 11x
      Is there any doubt that King Joffrey would be a Republican?
      3 MAY 11:33 PM

      Because EVERYTHING has to be about team politics.

      1. It’s their whole identity, which is unbelievably pathetic.

      2. Well, no, I don’t see that, since our political parties both nominally operate in a republic, not an absolute monarchy.

    3. I hope Dani hurries up with those dragons and burns his ass up.

      1. Too Late, Rhaelor got him first.

        1. “The night is dark and full of terrors.”

    4. “During his typically self-deprecating White House Correspondent’s Dinner speech….”

      There’s not a self-deprecating atom in that man’s body.

    5. So who’s gonna fuck over his corpse? I see Pelosi and Reid…

    6. Is Sebelius now tied to a column, impersonating a pincushion?

  3. Dem Rep says, “Seattle, I see your $15/hr. I’ll raise you to $26/hr”
    ‘Cause companies, especially small businesses, are just drowning in excess cash.

    1. I totally want to see that happen. Unemployment in CA would rise to 50% and the entire state would collapse.

      1. And peole would still blame the Republicans.

        1. Both of them.

    2. It is beyond my comprehension why anyone thinks price controls are a good, even great, idea when they have been proven to do nothing but create artificial shortages.

      1. Probably because that would require the ability to accept reality on realities terms. It also requires the ability to learn from history and denote the difference between emoting and logical thinking. Basically, all of the things Progressives aren’t capable of.

    3. Why stop at such paltry sums? Sounds like they want to keep the poor poor. Shouldn’t poor people have yachts? $1,000/hour at a minimum. Why should corporate fatcats keep all of the money?

    4. “In California, more than likely from what I remembered, a living wage where people could live and take care of their families and move toward achieving the American dream was about $25, $26 an hour,”

      Any why do you suppose it’s so much more expensive to live in California than in other states, Rep. Lee?

    5. Everyone wants to be voted back in to represent a place with no tax base.

    6. Oh man it would be great if this retarded idea sparked a politician ego war for who can have the highest minimum wage. Because that shit will crash and burn immediately.

      1. That’s where I was going above. Do I hear $2,000/hour?

        1. You guys are fucking cheapskates. The minimum wage should quite obviously be at least 85% of salary of the highest paid corporate fat cat CEO in the state. Then we’ll all be equal!

          1. Why 85%? To preserve the class distinction of the bourgeois elite? Why not 100%? That way, too, everyone is paid the same.

            1. Indeed. I would like to know that my neurosurgeon is not paid a dime more than the guy making my sandwiches at Subway.

            2. My constituents put in 110% in everything they do, so I don’t see how we could settle for less than 110%!


    7. Rep. Lee to last remaining California companies: “Get the fuck out!”

    8. why stop at 26? Make it 260!

  4. Target’s CEO has resigned in the wake of the huge data breach that affected millions of the retailer’s customers last December.

    Now that’s a valid reason to resign.

    1. Indeed. If only someone *cough*obama*cough would follow suit.

    2. WDATPDIM?

      1. You left off the explanation point!

        1. Exclamation. Bartender, pour me another.

  5. Research shows that injections of the blood of the young may be able to help reverse aging

    I still haven’t gotten the investor pamphlet you guy’s promised me.

    1. I’m getting the slicks together tonight. VampirMedics will be fully chartered in Delaware by the end of the day. We’re buying kids as soon as we can get a, uh, facility together.

      1. I’m just happy orphanages will now be profitable and no longer just vanity projects.

      2. I hear there’s a good deal on bulk purchases of kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls right now, so act fast.

    2. I think you owe Heinlein a royalty check.

      1. That was my first thought when hearing the story.

        … Hobbit

      1. Right? It’s like a mini-Rube Goldberg machine.

      2. Stupid is as Stupid does.

        1. Probably not twice.

    1. I hope he survived so I can laugh at him.

    2. “911 or not?”

      No shit.

    3. I have been cutting and trimming trees my whole life. Lets just say that when the video opened and I saw the setup I immediately said ” Oh my god, he’s dead”.

      1. I cut timber and logged for 30 years and I saw disaster coming. It appears they were going to take the whole tree down like the one already down. Unless there was something on the ground that would be affected.

        Rookies, chain saws and timber…what could go wrong.

      2. Not to mention when I looked again he was lucky he wasn’t impaled when the barber chaired limb threw him free.

    4. Roald Dahl predicted this.

  6. …even if said prayer promotes a particular religion.

    All hail the almighty state.

    1. FTFA: as long as no religion is advanced or disparaged

      So “promotion” is not “advancement”?

      I confuse.

    2. And Lord Xenu!

  7. In view of the Nazgul’s ruling perhaps it’s only fitting that we begin our AM and PM Links with a prayer as well. To, you know, seek guidance.

    1. “In Lucy’s name, we ask ….”


        1. *** a moment of silence ***

    2. “You pray for length and strength, I’ll give you guidance”.

  8. “Oh that is the line, bub, and you’ve just crossed it.”
    An armed robbery suspect is in custody after police say he tried to rob a donut shop in southwest Atlanta.
    The incident happened at the Dunkin’ Donuts near the intersection of Ralph D Abernathy Boulevard SW and Cascade Avenue SW just before 10 p.m. Saturday.
    Police told Channel 2 that while the man was trying to rob the shop, a police officer arrived at the scene. The suspect tried to flee, but was shot in the arm by the officer, police said.
    Police said the man may be linked to other robberies, but would not elaborate as to when and where those crimes may have occurred.

    1. What the hell was Golden Tate doing in Atlanta?

  9. The Drug Enforcement Administration has announced it will significantly increase the amount of marijuana it’s going to acquire for use in medical research.

    Who will raid the raiders?

    1. The Chiefs

      1. No need, Mark (who cut your hair, man?) Davis is taking the team to lows that not even big Al in his latest stage of senility could manage to achieve.

  10. Unhappy with Chrome and Firefox? Here are some alternate web browsers

    So, who knew about all those before reading the article? I did. *smacks with long, hard e-penis*

    And speaking of e-penises, OkCupid doesn’t have “chatrooms”, Sug.

    1. So, who knew about all those before reading the article? I did.

      What are you, some kind of browser hipster? I see no mention of Ice Weasel.

      1. Meh, IceWeasel doesn’t count. It’s even less different from vanilla Firefox than Pale Moon.

        What would have been really impressive is if they had mentioned uzbl.

    2. Have you a favorite among these, Carl?

      (Firefox seems increasingly crash-prone.)

      1. I mostly use Firefox when I’m on my desktop/laptop. The main thing Chrome has that I miss in Firefox is inline translation

        It rarely crashes for me. It could be that having click-to-play enabled helps (because Flash is the root cause of many crashes).

        I use Chrome on my phone and tablet, though.

          1. I have also used Chrome and Chromium quite a bit, and they are very good as well.

            It’s mostly a matter of taste, although some people are uncomfortable with Chrome because it’s made by an advertising company.

            Now, this same company happens to send $100+ million Mozilla’s way every year, so…

      2. I use Opera at home. With adblock or something similar, Opera *seems* way more secure that FF or Chrome. FF is terrible with popups and the like. It can’t stop half of them. Opera simply will not allow a popup to happen. You can set it to be quite secure (it seems that way to me). The only drawback is that it can be slow, but FF can be really slow too, especially at very “heavy” sites like HuffPo or Reason.

        1. Popups on “normal” sites or porn sites? With AdBlock I get barely any popups on non-porn sites with either Firefox or Chrome.

          When viewing the latter type of site, I think I do get a few more popups in Firefox, though not many.

          1. “Normal” sites. I get popups regularly on FF no matter what. To completely eliminate them I can turn on noscript but that’s sometimes more of a hassle than a help.

    3. Not familiar with Maxthon and Iron Browser. They left out Comodo Dragon, which is my go to Chromium variant. I used to use Pale Moon, but haven’t in a while.

      Also, no Midori? Offensive.

      1. You use Comodo Dragon? I couldn’t tell from you mentioning it 30 times. 😀

        Yeah, I’m kind of surprised that they would mention K-Meleon (talk about a blast from the past…) and not Midori.

        1. Don’t start with me Carl. There are only 12 references to Comodo in a site search of Reason and at least one of them is you and 3 of them are Neoliberal Kochtopus and I playing threading tag over a few days.


        2. Midori’s logo looks like a scrotum with 3 testes.

          1. Christian Dywan

            Christian likes to cook and eat Japanese. Add to that a passion for Chinese and Japanese tea. Christian enjoys hacking on Midori, working with elementary projects and QML. His development machine is an elementary Xfce hybrid based on Ubuntu.

            Nancy Runge

            Nancy likes to cook and eat Japanese as well. She is a voluntary cat petter in a local animal shelter.


    4. Unfortunately, Opera’s gone downhill since switching rendering engines. All that lovely customizability is… well where the hell is it?

      Quite a few of us Opera users have stuck with v.12.

      1. Did they finally bring bookmarks back? That was the most boneheaded move ever.

        1. My understanding is that they haven’t yet.

    5. Lynx or nothing!

    6. I’m using Dolphin on my Kindle HD–Silk kept crashing on me. Dolphin does, too, but not nearly as often.

      1. Do you have to sideload it, or is Dolphin in Amazon’s store?

    7. That you knew that is funny enough.

      1. I meet all the best aromantic asexuals on there.

        1. Filthy neutrals.

    8. Using Chrome with reasonable, ghostery, and disconnect.

      1. What does disconnect do that ghostery doesn’t? In my experience having two extensions doing the same thing causes issues.

        1. Not much. You are correct; you shouldn’t be using them in tandem.

          Personally, I don’t even use either of them; I use the EasyPrivacy blocklist in AdBlock, which I find sufficient.

    9. Always have been a fan of Opera.

  11. “The state Senate on Monday approved a measure that would rename the fish “invasive carp.” It’s a response to concern by some people that the current term casts people from Asian cultures in a negative light.”…..nn-senate/


    1. Japanese beetles next on the list.

    2. I used to live there. California mentality and a Siberian climate.

  12. Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!

    I already had my first shot for Cinco de Mayo at lunch today. It wasn’t the usual tequila shot, but rather a tetanus shot. Pro tip: don’t go exit bars by hopping over the rusty fence because your drunk ass may lacerate yourself and wake up two days later with a painful jaw (first sign of tetanus).

    Second tetanus in five years. I’m like some sort of freak of getting weird animal bites and rusty lacerations.

    1. “Down the French, up the rebels!”

    2. *suddenly has an idea for tequilla flavored artisnal mayonaise*

    3. Mayonnaise has its own celebration?

      You Yanks really are strange for true.

      1. You’re just jealous that we don’t celebrate any Canadiastan holidays down here.

        1. Now I’m remembering that one episode of Due South where the Chicago cop is wandering around Canada with a guy handcuffed to his wrist trying to find a place to call for help and the shop owners keep telling him they’re closed for “Maple Syrup Day” and it takes the entire episode for him to figure out they’re lying to him.

        2. You should have seen the look of utter despair and disappointment when I discovered Boxing Day had nothing to do with the sport of boxing.

          1. You didnt drink enough.

          2. And all this time, I been celebrating it by punching Canadians.

  13. A planned three-day subway strike in London that was supposed to start today was called off at the last minute.

    Of course, this is newsworthy because the usual weekly strike never gets called off.

  14. In case you want something more special than a margarita tonight: Modern Farmer on mezcal and sipping tequilas.
    “The clamor for tequila’s smoky cousin may be more recent, but it’s catching up fast. Global mezcal exports grew over 50 percent between 2009 and 2011. Unlike tequila, which is always made with blue agave, mezcal can be made from at least a dozen different agave varieties, each with its own terroir. Mezcal’s agave mash is further enhanced through distillation in clay or copper pots, using local techniques passed down for hundreds of years. Some mezcal is sold right after distillation, while some is barrel-aged for up to a year (one company makes a rare, seven-year mezcal). Also, while tequila’s blue agave is frequently grown in large industrial operations, other agaves are often harvested from the wild.”

    1. The good stuff is really nice.

      1. The bad stuff is almost as bad as baijo

        1. Yeah, it is either really good or Episirach Sugar Free love child bad.

          1. Nice. We can hope someone tries increasing the availability of a?ejo

    2. If you don’t have the good shit, add ginger beer, lime and a little pickled jalapeno juice to your tequila for a Mexican Mule.


    Giovanni Rubeo is a fifth-grade student at the school, who had been given a Bible at church as a Christmas gift. It’s his favorite book, so he decided he’d like to read it during the time in class where students are allowed to read anything they choose.

    Swornia Thomas is Giovanni’s teacher. On April 8, Thomas told Giovanni he’s not allowed to read the Bible in her class and ordered him to put it away. Giovanni asked her to call his father, Paul Rubeo, about the incident.

    Thomas did so, leaving a voicemail that included, “I noticed that he [Giovanni] has a book?a religious book?in the classroom. He’s not permitted to read those books in my classroom.” Rubeo then contacted the school’s principal, Orinthia Dias, who brought in the school’s legal department. None of them are willing to acknowledge that Giovanni has a constitutional right to read the Bible.

    We have long passed the point that public schools need to go.

    1. Wait. Is he not allowed to read ANY outside books, or just the Bible? Because I was a religious reader of anything but the book, and some teachers used to get butthurt to no end about it.

      1. The teacher seems pissed he had the nerve to read a religious book in her little socialist paradise of a classroom.

        1. We should send that kid Anthem.

          1. I would send him to school with a different anti communist book every day.

    2. Swornia?

      I can’t even…

      1. Well, then, you may call her Affirmdia.

    3. FTFA

      On Monday 5th, the school district released a statement which clarified their position.

      “Broward County Public Schools respects and upholds the rights of students to bring personal religious materials to school, including the Bible, and to read these items before school, after school or during any “free reading” time during the school day.

      This obviously contradicts the teacher’s assertions, which I hope was made clear to her by the attorneys involved.

      1. They issued that statement AFTER the guy went public with it. Initially, the teacher, the principal and their lawyers told him to fuck off.

        1. yeah I got that…

        2. The lawyers agreed with the teacher on this? AYFKM?

    4. my classroom

      Your classroom? That’s the people’s classroom, thank you.

  16. Research shows that injections of the blood of the young may be able to help reverse aging

    And so many people thought there was no future in sitting on the couch eating Combos and playing video games. “Growing blood” is the career of the future.

    1. “Jha’dur: You and the rest of your kind take blind comfort in the belief that we are monsters, that you could never do what we did. The key ingredient in the anti-agapic cannot be synthesized. It must be taken from living beings. For one to live forever, another one must die. You will fall upon one another like wolves. It will make what we did pale by comparison. The billions who live forever will be a testimony to my work. And the billions who are murdered to buy that immortality will be the continuance of my work. Not like us? You will become us.”

  17. If you think old folks are only sucking the livelihood from the young via government entitlement programs, stay tuned: Research shows that injections of the blood of the young may be able to help reverse aging.

    And the value of our orphan servents just tripled in a day. *polishes monocle while laughing demonically*

    1. Hell kinda oligarch are you? Polishing your own monocle?

      1. All of my orphans are being leeched right now. I figured polishing my own monocle will be a way I can relate to working class suffering for once.

      2. He’s just using shorthand for “Whipping the orphan that’s polishing the monocle”.

  18. New Russian law bans swearing in arts and media

    It is not clear whether the ban on swearing in the media will also extend to Russian users of international social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

    Oh, I have a feeling it will.

    1. Are there really ways to express yourself in Russian that aren’t profane?

      1. Sure, unless you consider getting shit-faced “profane”.

    2. Reason has also banned cyrillic swearing. Was better when Postrel was here.

  19. Outrage over the Iraq War is fake?

    1. Condi is slated to be Jeb’s running mate so the Bush turds need to be polished up a bit.

      1. I think this is just some of the derision toward “fake outrage” spilling over into the territory of the truly outrageous.

      2. The same people who objected to Rice will be voting for Hillary, you know one of the senators WHO VOTED FOR THE WAR, and without whose votes, THE WAR WOULD HAVE NEVER OCCURRED.

        Go back to sniffing glue you degenerate retard.

        1. Shrike’s got an easy answer for that. You see, Hillary was too incompetent to read the National Intelligence Estimate before casting that vote, so it’s totally not her fault.

        2. Hillary is more of a hawk than Bush, and more of a psychopath than Obama. What a wonderful combination.

          1. But she makes up for it by being corrupt and personally vindictive.

            1. Don’t forget her other quality attribute, cankles.

              1. + two jowls

    2. The real outrage is that Rutgers was paying $30K for Rice to be the speaker.
      Damn it, if you want to be commencement speaker and get an honorary degree then don’t ask to be paid more than your expenses. That goes for Billary, OGL, and all others who make some nice coin
      spouting tired clich?s to graduates who are mainly interested in “Where’s the party?”

      1. Damn it, if you want to be commencement speaker and get an honorary degree then don’t ask to be paid more than your expenses.

        Fuck that shit. Honorary degrees ain’t shit. They only reason these people come is for the honorarium.

    3. Unless Russ Feingold is unexpectedly jumping into the race, the democrats are out of candidates who opposed the Iraq War from the start.

  20. As far as would be theocrats go, I kinda like this guy:

    Among Darrell Trigg’s goals if elected president of the United States in 2016 is to change the U.S. Constitution, eliminating “separation of church and state” and replacing that with “union of church and state.”

    Under Trigg’s presidency the Bible will be a mandatory subject for K-12 students in public schools.

    Marriage will be re-established as “Holy Matrimony” between a man and woman, gay marriage will be banned, and homosexuality “will not be recognized legally, or any other way.”

    Adultery will be punishable by jail time and large fines.

    Nudity will be banned from the Internet and television, as well as excessive violence, foul language, blasphemy, or any form of homosexuality.

    Marijuana will not be legal except for medicinal purposes.

    I’m unenthusiastic about his aims, but I like the consistency of his position and his sweeping vision for America. He has a refreshing, Christian version of People of the Book.

    He goes on to support punitive tariffs on imports to improve manufacturing and caps on CEOs and sports coaches *sad face*.

    I wouldn’t vote for him, but I’d certainly encourage my folks to.

    1. He goes on to support punitive tariffs on imports to improve manufacturing and caps on CEOs and sports coaches *sad face*.

      Ah, one of those. The worst of both worlds: socially conservative, fiscally progressive. My wife works with a tard like that.

      1. I like my religious folks hard-line. If you’re going to inconvenience me by legislating your beliefs I want you to take every word of it seriously, not just the stuff you like.

        It’s a bizarre quirk in my preference hierarchy.

        1. What about the religious folks who dont legislate their beliefs?

          1. Then it’s really none of my business. I find moral behavior more compelling than moral speechifying, but as long as you aren’t the Korean women standing on street corners grabbing me by the collar and screaming at me, it’s all good.

            From personal experience, the Quakers in Whittier have impressed me the most. Their meetings were more Bible centered than many mainline protestant services I’ve been to, and much more so than some of the other Quaker meetings in other places I’d been to, and I found their decentralized take on the individual’s relationship with the church and with God less inherently authoritarian than the traditional pastor/congregation, but I don’t expect everyone to find that attractive, or even suitable.

    2. “All the animals and plants of the world, I give to thee..” So quit being stingy with the pot, dude.

    3. So North Korea then?

    4. Nudity will be banned from the Internet and television, as well as excessive violence, foul language, blasphemy, or any form of homosexuality

      Mm’kay. Good luck with that, genius.

      1. I read somewhere that Saudi Arabian IPs are the largest consumers of porn in the world.

        1. I think Utah has the highest rate in the US.

    5. So the difference between him and Santorum is that he’s better on marijuana?

    6. So, how much is he willing to spend for this new War on Everything?

      1. Bro, he has sweeping vision. He doesn’t need a concrete plan.

    7. Among Darrell Trigg’s goals if elected president of the United States in 2016 is to change the U.S. Constitution, eliminating “separation of church and state” and replacing that with “union of church and state.

      Someone should probably inform him that the phrase “separation of Church and State” appears nowhere in the Constitution nor Declaration, but was actually penned by Jefferson in his letter to a Virginia church.

      1. Yeah, and also suggest that he visit the Caliphate of Iran for some tips and ideas.

  21. Nope, no way will this get misused: new research shows blood tests could be effective in diagnosing depression.
    “A team of Austrian researchers has demonstrated a link between levels of serotonin in the blood and the depression network in the brain, meaning that diagnosing depression could soon become a much more efficient undertaking.
    The study focused on the serotonin transporter (SERT), a protein in the membrane that enables serotonin to be transported into the cell. In the brain, this regulates the depression network and is key in fending off depressive conditions.
    Recent studies have demonstrated that not only is this serotonin transporter also present in the blood, it works in the same way that it does in the brain, ensuring that the concentration of serotonin in the blood plasma is kept at healthy levels. In observing this process alongside functional magnetic resonance imaging of the brain, the team concluded that there is in fact a close relationship between the rate of serotonin uptake in the blood and the function of the neural depression network.”

    1. “You’d better make sure I don’t get any of that sad blood.”

      1. Just shoot me up with some of that neuro-boosting/age defying/happy juicing YougBlood?

        1. *YoungBlood*

    2. I am starting to think that a lot of depression might be a serious lack of vitamin D. A lot of people today almost never go out into the sun. Several prominent doctors and researchers, not quacks, have been saying as much recently (about most Americans being D deficient, not about the link to depression).

  22. Chinese farmers take loans to order brides, but the women run with their money

    “We married two days after being introduced. I borrowed the money to pay the agency 50,000 RMB (?5,000).”

    “For a couple of days everything was blissful. I went out to work and I left her at home, stitching, cleaning, making the evening meal. It was just as I expected things to be. I knew my wife was friendly with the other brides in the area.”

    “She said that on such-and-such a day they would all be going out for a girls’ shopping trip. But it was one she never came home from ? and neither did the other brides. It was all a con. They upped sticks and left en-masse.”

    1. A mail order bride used to be a person of integrity, back in the day. Now? Now I just shake my head.

    2. Carl: Oh, man. I cannot wait. I got the oils, the candles, the works! When does that babe get here?

      Shake: Carl, don’t refer to her as a “babe”, please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.
      Carl: Look, just don’t cash that check immediately. I wanna make sure that both of us marryin’ her is gonna be, you know, legal.

      Shake: Of course it is! What are you kidding me? Santa Claus ain’t legal and he’s around.

      Carl: Well, I guess that makes sense, you know.

    3. You should have gotten together with all the other farmera and turned your brides into automatons.

    4. My Zelda, my Zelda

      She take me money and run with de tai-lor

  23. Research Professor of Education at New York University says the powerful and greedy scapegoat schools so they can play Scrooge McDuck?

    Instead of looking in the mirror, our politicians blame the schools. They say that we lost those jobs because our schools were preparing students poorly, not because the “job creators” wanted to export jobs to countries that pay their workers a few dollars a day.

    In a just and sensible world, our elected officials would change the tax rates, taxing both wealth and income to reduce inequality. There is no good reason for anyone to be a billionaire. When one man or woman is worth billions of dollars, it is obscene. A person can live very handsomely if their net worth is “only” $100 million. How many homes, how many yachts, how many jets, does one person need?

    1. How many drones, bombs, failing schools, regulatory agencies, etc. does one government need?

      1. All of them.

        /The US political class

    2. Strange, I wonder how much more research into education we need. There doesn’t seem to be any good reason for a person to be a research professor of education.

    3. Was it the evil rich and powerful that caused so many kids to graduate from high school despite being functionally illiterate?

      1. Yes, because schools always need more money.

        However, please do not suggest that there are also people who feed upon the enslavement of American children

    4. Education clearly is failing our students when a person can become a research professor, no matter the subject, without having a basic concept of the benefits of capital accumulation for funding municipal projects, investments, etc.

      These people think all that wealth is just sitting in a cash vault or a bank so that you can merely tax wealth. No dipshit, that money is held in a variety of financial instruments and if you tax wealth, the wealthy have to sell off said financial instruments, except there is no one remaining to buy it because the other wealthy are selling off their financial instruments in order to make their wealth tax payments. Its a recipe for collapsing the market.

      1. If you read the whole thing (lol) it isn’t even well written. She is all over the place and for someone who is a “Professor of Education” this is a horrifying piece of writing (or, to be expected, depending on your perspective).

        1. Guys, it’s Diane Ratvich. She’s senile and mentally ill. An object of pity, rather than scorn.

  24. “The Danish people should know that the world is watching your debate on underage ritual circumcision.

    “This is deeply personal and important to me, as I am myself a victim of this vile practice ? due to my misfortune of being born in the United States. Although my young mother was not keen on the idea, a doctor insisted on doing it, and she relented….

    “…the Danish people have a chance to exercise true leadership: moral leadership. However, your politicians waver, wring their hands and drag their feet. I ask them to look me in the eye and tell me why their failure to protect boys is not blatant sexism. I ask them to look me in the eye and tell me why their failure to protect the sons of minorities is not blatant racism. I ask them to look me in the eye and tell me why our pain is irrelevant.”……9454.html

  25. Aw, man. Even Captain America is a sexual predator in FL.

    A Universal Studios employee who worked in costume as Captain America sent sexually explicit photos and text messages to an underage girl he met at the Florida amusement park, according to police.

    Reached for comment, the young lady stated: “The super-soldier formula didn’t work on EVERY muscle, you know?”

  26. Agalloch on NPR

    Not a sentence I ever expected to type.

  27. Research shows that injections of the blood of the young may be able to help reverse aging

    Oh noes! The Kochtopus will drink the blood of the childins!

    1. I’m pretty sure this is how Michael Moynihan remains alive.

  28. EPL fans – no spoilers, but I highly recommend that you watch the Liverpool / Crystal Palace game if you can. At least the last twenty minutes, anyway.

    1. Sweet, was planning on watching it. I’ve been watching CP’s season comeback with a Palace fan. The Chelsea game in a bar full of Chelsea fans was pretty fun.

      1. At least Leicester City earned promotion. If there was an English team I’d root far it was them from the days they had Kasey Keller. That and my sister used to live in Leicester, MA.

      2. Isn’t this the first time that Palace has not been relegated after one season in the EPL?

        1. Yes but they were a founding member and were in the top division a few years leading up I believe.

    2. I thought the football season ended last Tuesday.

      1. All the lower divisions ended last weekend. They’re now in promotion playoffs.

  29. From smut to state propaganda

    German-American filmmaker behind totally-not-propaganda documentaries such as Diaoyu Islands: the Truth and Tibet: the Truth also the mastermind behind masterpieces such as The Naked Cage:

    Nebe’s genre would be something along the lines of imprisoned lesbian vampire movies.

    According to one online review of “The Naked Cage”, the film includes: “Lesbian wardens, sadistic prison guards, a mass shower scene, prison fights and plenty of unnecessary female nudity.”

    So if Nebe was suddenly recruited to become a propagandist for China, could it have been these previous works that attracted the attention of the Communist Party?

    Take the “The Devil’s Plaything”, featuring a lesbian vampire whose soul remains in the bodies of her descendants. It’s the tale of pretty young virgin Helga led astray in a German castle with the helpful use of a magic spell.

    And then there’s Nebe’s 1974 film “Bibi”, featuring the 16-year-old girl who arrives at her aunt’s boarding house only to be … seduced by a lesbian.

    So you get the idea. This is a common theme.

    1. As long as they don’t sparkle.

    2. It’s not Uwe B?ll?

      1. I’m sad that isn’t still up. version of it.

    3. “unnecessary female nudity”

      I don’t understand this phrase. It looks like English, but it makes no sense at all.

      1. Alternative snark:

        “unnecessary female nudity”

        So he’s worked with Lena Dunham?

  30. Question: Is it appropriate to call a statist FB Fuck a racist for saying “I bet the kids were being little sh*ts and I blame the parents” in response to the following article?

    Bus Driver Abandons Students in Middle of Route

    1. “Sylvia Shrugged”

  31. “This year marks the 150th anniversary of the peak year of suffering in Civil War prisons. At Andersonville alone, nearly 13,000 men died over 14 months — an average of more than 30 a day in that span. Overall, 30,000 Union and 26,000 Confederate soldiers died in captivity.

    “Remembrances over the next 16 months at Andersonville — the only National Park System area to serve as a memorial to all POWs — present a milepost to review the plight of POWs throughout American history. The park in Georgia is home to the National Prisoner of War Museum.

    “At the same time, archaeological digs and research at Camp Lawton, Camp Douglas in Chicago, Johnson’s Island in Ohio and Camp Asylum in Columbia, South Carolina, are opportunities to bring fresh insight into the story of Civil War prison life.”…..y-prisons/

    1. It is downright shocking that anyone survived places such as Andersonville where the drinking water was thoroughly polluted by sewage.

      1. Pretty much everything was polluted by sewage. So they developed quite a tolerance, y’know.

    2. Also notable, Andersonville was also the reason behind one of the few actual executions related to the Civil War.

  32. Performance review week. That was a very long and very uncomfortable meeting. But thankfully I managed to avoid making it about how little my new manager understands about the technical work we do. And I actually may have talked myself into a higher raise, with my weakest argument (an offhand comment about how I was still making less than the people who came in just after an upwards shift in starting salaries). Showing him that the numbers he was using for me were wrong didn’t sway him, showing him that the rest of the things he was criticizing are in the job description of someone in a higher level than me (but not mine) didn’t sway him, but pointing out that other people got more to start working later than I did seems to have.

    1. The #1 reason people quit their jobs is because of their awful manager.
      The #2 reason is their manager’s awful manager.

      1. I thought people quit because Auric’s body odor was so bad.

        1. Is that why your mom quit?

          1. No, she quit because her body odor was so bad. But Auric seems to like it…

    2. Yeah, because the last one implies you could start working for someone else, which is the only real reason to give you a raise.

      1. This is sadly true. They teach the value proposition of employment in B-school, but the only way to engage your boss in applying it to you is to point out that someone else has different valuation of your time.

  33. Remember the dude who was arrested 13 years late because of a clerical error? The state actually showed an ounce of common sense and let him go:

    ‘You are good. And changed’: Judge FREES man who was jailed 13-years late because of a clerical error – by which time he’d become a decent, upstanding family man

    1. Cute kids.

    2. I just… I think the place where my heart used to be just melted.


    I love it that this guy is a nobody but is the only one who has the balls to actually read the Constitution. He is right. If the mandate is really a “tax” then it is invalid since it didn’t originate in the House.

    Of course the courts will tell him to fuck off. It will be fun watching the intellectual knots Justice Penaltax or some lower court justice tie themselves into to do it.

    1. “We *deem* it to have originated in the House.”

      1. More or less. That is what they are going to do with the issue of people not getting subsidies from the federal exchange language. The legilstative history makes it very clear that the language was put in by Congress intentionally as a way of making sure the states all set up their own exchanges.

        Now that the states have called the bluff, every liberal retard is claiming “well sure it says that but in the context of the entire act it can’t mean that.” Ah, yes it can and in fact was intended to mean that.

    2. That’s before Roberts invented the penaltax. The penaltax is always allowed, the penaltax rules all, the penaltax is surpreme! You don’t believe me? Where is it written that the penaltax is disallowed? See!

      1. Look in Subsection C of the Penumbra clause.

  35. I have no idea who this guy is but that is some very good copy.

    The correspondent’s dinner was a thoroughly medieval spectacle. Never was a lord’s hall so earnestly thronged by grateful peasants as that venue. The comparison was nearly exact since it featured jesters, court ladies and the obligatory men-at-arms hovering outside the drawbridge of the castle. Royalty was of course in attendance, resplendent in its dazzling gowns and chic elegance. The designated buffoon of the evening was Kathleen Sebelius who was employed as a sight-gag as an obligatory adjunct to something broken as if she could absorb for herself the sins of the King.…..thoroughly

    1. Grateful peasants never dined in the lord’s hall. The proper analogy is hangers-on.

  36. Anyone in a position to comment on this?

    “More Good News for Obamacare: It May Be Saving Lives After All”…..ign=buffer

    1. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH. Goddamnit. Health insurance is not access to health care. It doesn’t fucking matter that you’re sending in your premiums every month if you can’t get to the fucking doctor! Jesus. Fuck.

      Also, they haven’t run the control. They need to call everyone WITH insurance and remind them that they can get to the doctor for $X and see what happens.

  37. “The month of May will go a long way toward answering one of the overriding questions of Election 2014: Can the Republican establishment finally tame the tea party and retake the Senate?…

    “Republicans in Washington have been pushed around by grass-roots activists for two straight elections. The infighting helped produce poor nominees and cost the party control of the Senate, as some tea party-backed candidates couldn’t win general elections and other establishment-backed contenders floundered.”…..06330.html

    1. Politico is the home of bullshit. Actually, it’s the uncontested champion of political bullshit. All of the writers there are obsessed with politics as some sort of game, and about how much money is spent on campaigns.

    2. Hmm, yes because Tea Party activism had nothing to do with the Republican wins in 2010. Nor did any establishment candidates refuse to support Tea Party candidates.

      1. Plus they ran that real electable establishment presidential candidate in 2012 and that worked out swimmingly.

        1. Exactly. A lot (not all) the senate candidates who lost in 2010 were Goldwater-ed.

    3. The infighting helped produce poor nominees and cost the party control of the Senate

      Oh Politico. You so badly want this to be true. If will to power could work you’d have made it work by now.

    4. “Republicans in Washington have been pushed around by grass-roots activists ..”

      So, elected officials are being told what to do by the people that they represent. Interesting.

  38. Earthquake forecast!

    I guess the USGS does not want to go to Italian jail.

    1. Nothing but linguine and Tuscan wine in the prison cafeteria.

      And the other prisoners gang up on you and beat you with their man-purses.

      1. I hope he likes spaghetti. They serve it four times a day in Italian prisons.

    2. If the earthquakes are caused by wastewater injection, then the activity could continue or decrease with future changes in well usage in the state.

      So, it is definitely fracking! Maybe! But we do not have a mechanism in mind and cannot predict a direction!

  39. Mark Callahan is running for the Republican nomination for Senate in Oregon. I have know nothing about him and do not vouch for his positions. This, however, is fucking awesome. Bravo Mark.

    Republican Mark Callahan, who is running for US Senate in Oregon, was in a candidate review meeting with other colleagues in order for Willamette Week, a publication in Portland, to decide who they would endorse in the upcoming primary. An opponent of his, Republican Joe Rae Perkins, was on speaker phone. There were others in the room but I’m not sure who they were specifically.

    The clip starts with Perkins answering a question on speaker phone. While she was answering it, one of WW’s reporters, Nigel Jaquiss, wrote ‘blah blah blah blah’ on his paper as she was answering. Callahan noticed it and called Jaquiss out for it, saying:

    You want to talk about disrespect? I see what you’re writing down there. You just wrote down ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ for everything that Joe Rae said. Joe Rae is a respectable woman. Why are you not respecting her by writing ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ on your notepad?…..zophrenia/

    1. Listen, the dude has a Pultizer. Who are we to criticize his journalistic methodology?

    2. Speaking of the state of Oregon, the Beavers fire Obama’s brother-in-law:…..te-beavers

  40. Today was the first day I was ever ashamed to be a teacher

    Better late than never, I guess. It would be nicer if he realized that the public schools are a sham that are intended first and foremost to employ bureaucrats, second to keep teachers’ unions happy, and last and by far the least to teach children anything. Not to mention that the main thing they try to teach children is obedience. But small steps are better than no steps.

    1. Ralph Ratto, an elementary school teacher from Long Island, New York, and president of his local teacher’s union

      “Hey! I’m teachin’ here!”

    2. I was angry at Gov. Andrew Cuomo, New York Education Commissioner King, the N.Y. Board of Regents, my state senator, my state assemblyman, President Obama, and even my state union.

      Burn him!

  41. “?3. The free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship, without discrimination or preference, shall forever be allowed in this state to all humankind”

    So it would appear the NYS constitution would require the county govt body to allow prayers from all religious denominations: Black Israelites, Westboro Satanic Church, Church of What’s Happening Now,
    Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc. Who wants to go to Greece, NY and test it out?

  42. Sony has managed to create a 185 TERRA-byte, cutting edge…cassette tape.…..-onto-one/

    They might make a huge comeback if the electricity economics pan out.

    1. To accomplish this, Sony has utilized and enhanced a technology known as “sputter deposition.” I won’t pretend to understand its intricacies, but it involves layers of magnetic crystals firing argon ions at a polymer film substrate.

      Ha ha! Yeah, no, that’s not how it works. He’s got it backward. You hit a target with Argon (or Helium) ions in a plasma that causes the target to release metal atoms. The metal atoms evenly coat the substrate. It may sound exotic to some, but it’s pretty common stuff.

  43. Old folk vampires for rejuvenation purposes?

    I saw exactly this in a prophecy in the 1970s. What I remember is it was a dream of older folks sitting around a table sucking blood through tubes that came from youth, to fend off the maladies affecting them from the effects of aging.

    1. So how do you feel about us young vampires? We don’t go after old folks though. Their blood tastes like an old couch.

      So if u had a prophecy in the 70’s, have no fear because I won’t be drinking your old couch blood. If you get mad and hit me however, I might bite off your ear.


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