A.M. Links: Pro-Russian Activists Take Police Station in Eastern Ukraine, GOP Senators Warn of 'Bush Fatigue,' Hunt for MH370 Heading Underwater

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Credit: Gage Skidmore/wikimedia
  • Pro-Russian activists have taken over a police station in Horlivka, a town in eastern Ukraine. Ukrainian interim President Olexander Turchynov said that Ukraine is preparing an "anti-terrorist" operation against gunmen who have occupied official buildings there.
  • Yesterday Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chairman Rep. Steve Israel (D-N.Y.) said that "not all" of his Republican colleagues are racists. He added that, "to a significant extent, the Republican base does have elements that are animated by racism, and that's unfortunate."
  • The man who allegedly shot and killed three people outside a Jewish community center and retirement community in a Kansas City suburb yesterday has been identified as Frazier Glenn Cross, a 73-year-old man with a history of anti-Semitic activity.
  • The search for MH370 is heading underwater. A U.S. Navy drone will look for the missing plane on the floor of the search area in the Indian Ocean. The so-called "black box" has probably run out of battery.
  • Senate Republicans are warning that "Bush fatigue" could hinder Jeb Bush's chances of winning the presidency in 2016 if he were to secure the GOP nomination.
  • More than 70 people have been killed by two blasts at a bus station in Nigeria's capital. 

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*Editor's note: This post originally incorrectly described Turchynov as Ukraine's interim prime minister. 

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  1. Yesterday Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chairman Rep. Steve Israel (D-N.Y.) said that “not all” of his Republican colleagues are racists.

    Mighty white of him.

    1. I heard from some people over the weekend that “not all” of Steve Israel’s lovers were under the age of consent.

      1. “That’s unfortunate.”

    2. Hello.

      History always starts today with Democrats/leftists/progressives.

      http://hnn.us/article/3554

      1. They forgot Wilson segregating the Federal government and FDR tossing Japanese Americans into camps. They may have had racist thoughts.

        1. Italians too. Here, the Liberals interned and imposed strict curfews like the Democrats did in the U.S..

          Not to the degree of the Japanese, but still significant as thousands were affected (losing businesses, family etc.).

      2. Why the fuck did Diego Costa have to get injured?

        1. Because.

          CHELSEA!

          Their chances just improved that much more.

    3. Not all of elected Democrats are Marxists.

      1. Citation needed.

        1. Yeah. They’re all….

          COMMIES!

  2. The man who allegedly shot and killed three people outside a Jewish community center and retirement community in a Kansas City suburb yesterday has been identified as Frazier Glenn Cross, a 73-year-old man with a history of anti-Semitic activity.

    Can’t we just blame this on Sarah Palin a YouTube video neo-Nazis and move on?

    1. I thought he was a wizard? Fucking wizards.

      1. I mean what did Gandalf ever actually do besides light up his damn staff?

        1. Yell at everyone ‘RUN!’?

          1. Yell at everyone ‘RUN!’?

            “Run you fools!”

            Gandolf the bully.

            1. Technically it was “Fly you fools”

              1. Yes. You are right. I am ashamed.

        2. Wear a white robe?

          Wait a minute, a wizard in a white robe? Hmmm…

        3. You wouldn’t part an old man from his walking stick?

        4. You wouldn’t part an old man from his walking stick?

          1. grr squirrels

            1. Squirrels v Gandalf, no contest.

              1. +1 flaming pinecone

        5. Leave when he was vitally needed by the group.

  3. Squirrel caused $300G in damages at Indiana community center, officials say

    Parks Department officials say the squirrel got into the electrical equipment of the building in McMillen Park last week, causing a power surge that damaged the heating and air conditioning systems and some parts of the boiler system. The squirrel didn’t survive.

    The Journal Gazette reports parks director Al Moll said the repairs will be covered by insurance, minus the department’s $50,000 deductible. Crews are working to make repairs so the center can open as planned on June 7.

    1. Has anyone ever put a price on the damage squirrels do here?

      1. It’s incalculable, but arguably worse than the time and money wasted on preparing income tax returns.

      2. Has anyone ever put a price on the damage squirrels do here?

        That’s nuts.

    2. That’s just what Ron Swanson wants you to believe.

    3. I work at an electric utility and when a substation goes out, the joke is to ask the substation manager if he brought a throw-down squirrel.

  4. The search for MH370 is heading underwater.

    Subprime searching will lead to that.

    1. Better play it safe. Ban skittles at home. Ban all things rainbow-related.

      1. Homophobe!

      2. Ban all things rainbow-related.

        Rainbow parties?

    2. Can’t let children learn business for themselves. We need them to be reliant on the government for their education… and their living.

  5. Flushed sex toy caused ‘major flood’

    A spokesman said during once incident sewage workers found a sex toy which was so big it blocked the underground pipes.

    “When it comes to clearing blockages, we’ve come to expect the unexpected. When we’re looking for the cause it could be anything and it’s surprising what you do find.

    “The sex toy found actually caused a major internal flood.”

    1. “The sex toy found actually caused a major internal flood.”

      That’s what she said.

      1. “I’m wet with compassion!”

      2. So, SF…Is that the ultimate end for the Doomcock? Going out not with a bang, but with a flush?

      1. The Patrick, not to be confused with The Patrick Junior.

      1. does the cod have a phone number? Just asking for a friend.

          1. Does a Gummi Bear shit in the woods?

            1. Yes, next to the Pope

              1. On another forum, I once jokingly asked the questions, “Does the Pope shit in the woods?” and “Is a bear Catholic?”

                Some wag posted this in response.

        1. Anyone with basic cooking skills would know that’s a stupid fucking idea.

          1. Evidently they never saw a candy thermometer.before.

          2. Yeah, melted sugar is a burn you don’t soon forget.

          3. There are far too many people that don’t cook for themselves and thus lack that basic knowledge.

        2. She said, “give me some sugar…”

          1. “Pour some sugar on me”

        3. This reminds of a friend who similarly put a damper on the evening by deciding to drink girlfriend-flavored tequila.

          1. he melted his girlfriend and poured her into a bottle of tequila?

            1. Something like that.

              Reverse the pouring part.

        4. This reminds me of the woman in Maryland that was hospitalized back in 2009 when her boyfriend modified a reciprocating saw. And by modifying I really mean just stuck the blade through the rubber and went to town. Needless to say she was *not* happy.

  6. America’s pyramid: Photos reveal the Egyptian-esque missile facility used by the U.S. military to detect and launch ICBMs
    The Stanley R. Mickelsen Safeguard Complex became operational in 1975
    The Complex’s high-tech radars were housed in a pyramid-shaped building in rural Nekoma, North Dakota
    The Complex was designed to detect Soviet missiles
    In 1976, just a year after it became operational, the Complex was closed

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ICBMs.html

    1. That’s not a pyramid, it’s a mastaba.

      1. No, the height to width ratio for the top pushes it into the pyramid range. Mastabas are low and flat. Architecturally Pyramids need not have pointed tops (see Mesoamerican Pyramids).

  7. SHORE thing: Singer Joss Stone poses for random, yoga-themed photoshoot before live date in Mauritius

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..itius.html
    Never heard of her until I saw Hammond on Top Gear falling all over himself when she was a guest. Looked her up and damn she can sing as nice as she looks. Don’t like the style though.

    1. Wow, she aged really quickly and turned into NuCarlySimon.

    2. “She looks like a horse!”

      Played Anne of Cleves on The Tudors.

  8. EXCLUSIVE – The Feds will come back but I will never back down, says defiant Nevada rancher after he dramatically won his cattle back as armed militia boast how they had agents ‘in their sights’

    Cliven Bundy said he expects officials with the Bureau of Land Management to make another attempt to seize his cattle
    Bundy, 67, won the first round of his fight with agents after they released hundreds of cows seized as part of a dispute over grazing rights in Nevada
    Fears of an armed confrontation with dozens of militia who’d camped out in a field leading to Bundy’s ranch led officials to call off their operation

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-back.html
    What’s next?

    1. The feds will wait til something else takes over the headlines and the militia men go home. Then they will come back, shoot Bundy, and claim he was preparing terrorist/murderous action against federal agents.

    2. I can’t figure this out. I can’t believe the feds backed down. Something else is going on here. When have the feds ever backed away and refused the opportunity to shoot or burn a bunch of people? It is not like the national media wouldn’t have covered up for them. Obama could have napalmed them and the major networks would have spun it as “Hard Right Protestors set themselves on fire resisting police”.

      1. Harry Reid might not want attention paid to this here piece o’ land?

        1. That seems to be the theory. But since when did Harry Reid give a shit about bad press? Again, the media would just cover up for him and even if they didn’t, his supporters are so brain dead that it wouldn’t matter what came out. Do you honestly think Reid would lose his job over trying to steal land to give it to his corrupt Chinese cronies to build a idiotic solar field to power his corrupt casinos? If he did, no one would be more surprised than him.

          I just can’t imagine a scandal so bad that even Harry Reid was will to call off the feds to keep it from coming out. I don’t think Reid or Obama or any of them worry about ever paying a price for what they do.

          Maybe that is what happens. It still puzzles me why though.

          1. But since when did Harry Reid give a shit about bad press?

            Mid Terms?

            1. I guess fish. When you have the entire media working in your favor, I don’t see how you worry about a scandal.

              1. I don’t see how you worry about a scandal.

                Couldn’t think of anything else…..maybe the kid has some potential exposure….don’t know.

          2. “These people were killed so Harry Reid could get his leech son some land for a Chinese company” might even stir a Nevada voter?

            He probably wants to shield his crime-family from scrutiny.

            1. Sure it would. The only problem is that Breitbart would be the only place that headline appeared. I doubt most of Reid’s low information low sloped forehead base would ever hear about it.

        2. It does smell very, very fishy.

      2. I can’t figure this out. I can’t believe the feds backed down.

        They seemed to have backed down within a few hours of Drudge putting up all the stuff about Reid and his son’s dealings with the Chinese solar company in relation to that land. Plus, no one in the Dem party wants a Waco-style event six months from the election.

        Bottom line is that they realized they’d lost the PR battle and they have the resources to fuck over this guy outside of an election cycle.

    3. Drudge had a link to the (Infowars- grrugagh) video of this:
      http://youtu.be/bD61YFxUga4

  9. Has Banksy left a ?500,000 present for a houseowner? Graffiti mural featuring spies in trench coats appears on wall of semi-detached home

    Karen Smith heard voices outside but thought nothing of it until she spotted men loading huge screens into van
    She watched them drive off before finding a painting on the side of her ?300,000 three-bed house in Cheltenham
    Three 1950s-style spies in the picture are carrying listening devices and crowded around a real telephone box
    Experts say it’s a genuine Banksy and apparently a nod to town’s role as home for Government spy centre GCHQ

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-GCHQ.html
    He continues to walk the line between vandalism and art.

    1. Two separate axes.

      1. Yeah, no reason he can’t be both a serious artist and a criminal vandal.

    2. Somebody ought to spray-paint over his pieces.

      1. Ha ha yes I love it. Someone should follow the prick around and vandalize everyone one of his pieces right after he finishes it. See how he feels about vandalism when it’s his shit being targeted.

        1. It would help if someone knew who he was.

          1. Robin Gunningham is the name most often cited

            1. It’s still only a guess. Can’t follow someone around if you don’t know who to follow.

    3. If somebody randomly improves your property and increases its value, can that really be called vandalism?

      1. If someone forces you to do something “for your own good” is is really a coercive nanny state?

      2. If they do it without your permission, I would think yes.

        1. How?

          That’s like saying it’s robbery if I sneak up behind you and put money in your back pocket.

          It’s trespassing, definitely, but vandalism requires damage and/or a loss of value.

          If I sneak on to your property and build you a $50,000 solar panel system and then sneak away, I’m a trespasser, sure, but not a vandal.

          1. It is clearly trespassing.

            Suppose you are on vacation for a month one summer and my pool company gets the wrong address and constructs a pool in your back yard. Yeah, a pool is valuable. Suppose that it actually increases the value of your house. It sounds great except that what if you didn’t want a pool? It is going to cost money to maintain it and you liked your yard as it was.

            Did I vandalize your house? Maybe not depending on how you define the word. Wouldn’t you agree that my negligence in building the pool you didn’t want damaged you? I think so.

            Maybe these people didn’t want a mural on their house. Now they are stuck with one. That seems to have damaged them whether you call it vandalism or not.

          2. I disagree with your analogies. He painted someone’s wall without their permission. I suppose it’s not technically vandalism because no one has complained. Yet.

            1. What Sarc said. It certainly is vandalism if you didn’t want the painting there.

      3. Like someone who scattered $100 bills around your property would be littering.

      4. You might not have wanted your property value to increase. Or to have the attention that having a famous artist’s work on your house would bring.

        Sure, it increases value, but if you aren’t interested in selling your property and aren’t interested in the art, then that does you no good.

      5. Yeah, we’re big on “mutuality” around here (and so are many others, to be fair). If the property owners didn’t’ agree to the changes on their property, it’s a bad thing, regardless of the term used.

  10. Bella of the ball: Ms Thorne shares cute snaps of her fairytale princess dress as she and beau Tristan Klier head out to prom

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-prom.html
    Youth continues to be wasted on the young.

  11. Senate Republicans are warning that “Bush fatigue” could hinder Jeb Bush’s chances of winning the presidency in 2016 if he were to secure the GOP nomination.

    No one wants to see another Bush lose to another Clinton.

    1. Clinton Bush. The words make me shudder.

    2. You know who else had bush fatigue?

      1. The 1970s?

        1. Mmmm….beefy.

          1. She achieved world gangbang record with 919 men on October 16, 2004 in Warsaw, Poland

            and

            Sparks has been married since Aug 1995.

            Make for some interesting Thanksgiving meals.

            1. She is from Bowling Green Kentucky…Do you know her?

              1. She looks strangely familiar, but I don’t think so. I only lived there a couple of years in the late 90s.

            2. Not anymore.

              In 2014, she filed for divorce.[1]

              I wonder what the last straw was.

              1. He probably had sex with another woman.

                1. Maybe he just got lost…

        1. Saigon… shit; I’m still only in Saigon… Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in the jungle.

    3. We don’t need another Bush League president.

  12. World-Leading $25 Hourly Wage Roils Swiss Businesses

    With income inequality growing among developed economies, according to the OECD, minimum wages are on the table in other countries as well. In the U.K., Prime Minister David Cameron has increased it to 6.5 pounds ($10.88) per hour, the first time it has been raised more than inflation since 2008. In the U.S., President Barack Obama is pushing for an increase in the $7.25-an-hour federal minimum to $10.10, while German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s cabinet backed a national minimum of 8.50 euros.

    The Swiss will vote in a national referendum May 18 on whether to create a minimum wage… Read More

    George Sheldon, professor of economics at the University of Basel, said the Swiss proposal would be counterproductive. “Unemployment among the unskilled is increasing,” he said in a phone interview. “The solution to their problem can’t be to make them more expensive.”

  13. Senate Republicans are warning that “Bush fatigue” could hinder Jeb Bush’s chances of winning the presidency in 2016 if he were to secure the GOP nomination.

    So they aren’t all stupid.

    1. I have yet to hear of what actual voters Jeb Bush will attract. The staff of the Weekly is nice and all, but they can only vote one time and I am not even sure DC has a Republican primary.

      1. “they can only vote one time”

        If they wanted to vote more than once, they should have been Democrats.

  14. New York Court struggles to find jurors who don’t hate Occupy Wall Street.

    http://americanglob.com/2014/0…..-movement/

    That is funny. Remember, the Tea Party is just Koch funded AstroTurf while Occupy Wall Street was a grassroots movement supported and loved by tens of millions.

    1. Twenty years from now they’ll be making romantic movies about the Occupy movement, just as the dirty hippies of the 60s were romanticized in the 80s and 90s.

      1. Probably so. People hated the hippies and the anti-war movement. They were never popular with the majority of the country.

      2. And of course the 80s are treated as being somehow a trashy decade.

        Having been born in 1972, I’m sick and tired of the outsized cultural influence of the boomers.

        1. Some day they (boomers) will be gone, though. I just wish it were sooner sometimes.

        2. I don’t know. 80’s nostalgia seems like it’s a big thing. Like 60’s nostalgia in the 90s.

          1. Yes. All the kids working for me have a frightening amount of knowledge of New Wave and own neon legwarmers. The 80s are back. Guh.

            1. Sir, your apparent failure to require a proper uniform appearance among your orphans calls into question your commitment to maintaining the high standards required of you under the terms of issuance of your Monocle. Please report forthwith to your local lodge for your audit.

              1. No, these are my lowly wage slaves. My orphan brigade is all in uniforms they sew themselves.

            2. Does it make you want to run, to run so far away?

              1. +1 Hairwave

            3. Other than being set in the 80s, The Americans is a good show.

      3. Hell, they already had Chuck Heston sobbing with nostalgia while watching Woodstock in The Omega Man in 1971.

        1. In the version I’ve seen, Chuck looks like he’s going to vomit and then snidely remarks “Welp, they sure don’t make pictures like that anymore.” And he’s grinning when he walks out of the theater.

          1. It took a piece of his soul to shoot that scene.

            1. This a very sad comment in retrospect:

              cha5 6 years ago

              I hope this new film version of ‘I Am Legend’ will be somewhat worthwhile and be a bit close to the Matheson novel but I’m not counting on it.

              1. As Hitchcock said, your film is only as good as your bad guy. In this case Anthony Zerbe made a pretty damn good villain.

        2. That scene is very important.

          The Family are supposed to be hippies.

          The Heston Omega Man uses the classic structure of The Last Man on Earth to tell the story of a late 60’s / early 70’s culture war between hippies and the civilized.

          1. Correction: uses the classic structure of I am Legend.

            I went all Vincent Price there for a minute.

            1. In the novella, doesn’t he decide at the end that he is really the bad guy?

      4. I sort of have a soft spot for hippies, so I may be off, but Occupy seems so much more forgettable.

        Whatever you think about the hippie lifestyle and their tendency toward leftist politics, they did have a lot of cultural influence (in some ways quite good to my mind). I just don’t see that with OWS. They are just boring and pointless.

        1. The original hippies and beats, Ken Kesey and all of them were great. Sometime around 1967 the new left got their fangs into the movement and that was it. What started as a movement committed to freedom and self actualization became a zombie front for Leftists.

          1. That’s about how I see it too. When it went from being a bunch of weird artists and people looking for more freedom and different ways of doing things to a major youth culture thing, it lost it.

            And somehow to this day the left has been able to maintain its “cool” branding.

    2. The one and only time I served jury duty (in NYC) I heard some very ‘creative’ answers to questions that were clearly meant to get the potential juror out of serving. I suspect this has more to do with that than any real dislike for OW.

      1. But there is always some nut who wants to serve on the jury. There is always going to be a certain percentage of people who will say anything to get out of it. That doesn’t stop them from seating juries in other cases. In this case, however, they can’t find anyone who doesn’t hate OWS. Even the normal nuts who like jury duty can’t help but say how much they hate OWS.

        That is pretty funny and indicative of more than the usual “no one likes jury duty”.

  15. UK’s anti-EU party hits new high in poll ahead of Europe vote

    UKIP’s profile has been raised by the upcoming European elections on May 22, when polls suggest it could beat Cameron’s party into third place.

    A ComRes poll of voting intentions for next year’s national election put UKIP on 20 percent – up four percentage points at their highest in the four-year history of the poll. Cameron’s Conservatives fell three points to 29 percent.

    The main opposition Labour party were steady on 35 percent while the Lib Dems, junior partners in the coalition government, sank 2 percentage points to a new low of 7 percent.

  16. Senate Republicans are warning that “Bush fatigue” could hinder Jeb Bush’s chances of winning the presidency in 2016 if he were to secure the GOP nomination.

    Too bad they aren’t getting dingbat fatigue.

  17. Search underway for shoplifter with no pants

    Officials said surveillance video showed Taylor strolling through the produce aisle and deli before picking up two boxes of wine worth about $42 combined and headed to the exit.

    Todd Long, the store manager, told authorities that after she walked out of the video frame, he tried to stop her and get the wine, but she started swinging her arms wildly and fled.

    oh noez! The wild arm swing!

    1. Don’t you try to not draw attention to yourself when shoplifting?

      1. Divine successfully shoplifted a TV and a chainsaw while looking like, well, Divine. Perhaps it can occasionally pay off as a strategy

        1. Divine

          *** doffs hat ***

          “Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?”

      2. Dude…it’s Florida….nobody shoplifting is wearing pants.

  18. The search for MH370 is heading underwater. A U.S. Navy drone will look for the missing plane on the floor of the search area in the Indian Ocean. The so-called “black box” has probably run out of battery.

    Fortunately, the drone operators are already highly trained at seeking out little brown people.

    1. it’s an underwater drone…

  19. Finland puts Tom of Finland’s art on its stamps. BTW I don’t think Slate understands what bondage is. These images are just homoerotic

    more

    1. The folks at Slate don’t understand something? Let me put on my shiny black leather shocked face.

    2. I had to click, because of Finnish heritage. But lol: “Sure to be a stocking stuffer.”

  20. Pro-Russian activists have taken over a police station in Horlivka…

    Looks like Ukraine should have spent a little more time fighting a war on drugs. Maybe they’d have peace officers armed enough to the teeth to not let this happen.

    1. Has anyone heard from Groovus since his abrupt departure from H&R?

      1. I haven’t, nor anyone I’ve asked on email.

  21. Putin Can Take Ukraine Without an Invasion, and Probably Will

    A former top advisor to Vladimir Putin says the Russian president probably thinks at this point he can whip Ukraine back into line without having to resort to a full-blown invasion. Although it appears no Western power is willing to take military action to defend Kiev, overt Russian military action would risk deeper and more disruptive Western economic sanctions. So Putin’s willingness to play a longer-term game rests on his “cynical recognition” that he has three years to accomplish his objective before there is a change of leadership in the White House and the possibility of a more resolute American response.

    “Putin’s objective remains to regain control of Ukraine, but I suspect he now thinks he can do this without ordering in the tanks,” says Andrei Illarionov, a former Putin economic policy advisor and now an unstinting critic of the Russian leader.

    1. If he does, what does he plan to do with it? Either Ukraine wants to be a part of Russia, in which case no one should care if Russia grants them their wish or they don’t. If they don’t, trying to take it over will just cost Putin a fortune and keep him from causing trouble elsewhere as he fights it out with Ukraine. Look at all of the problems Chechnya caused Russia.

      1. Michael Totten wrote a post a couple of weeks back in which he reprinted the quote from George Kennan:

        The jealous and intolerant eye of the Kremlin can distinguish, in the end, only vassals and enemies, and the neighbors of Russia, if they do not wish to be one, must reconcile themselves to being the other.

        Putin wants a vassal state.

        1. And twice now, the vast majority of Ukrainians have indicated, they don’t want to be in one.

          1. Think of it this way, it took stationing hundreds of thousands of Russian Troops and two different invasions to keep Eastern Europe as vassal states. The moment the people realized Russia no longer was going to intervene, those governments fell. The same is true of Ukraine, assuming they don’t want to be a vassal. Russia can either spend billions stationing huge numbers of troops there propping up the vassal government or forget it.

            1. The gas policy is also part of the attempt to keep them vassals. Disagree with us, and we’ll shut off the gas so you can freeze in the winter.

              And it’s also part of why the USSR deliberately put ethnic enclaves in various republics.

              1. Of course, there are two sides to that. Ukraine can say “try to make us a vassal and we will freeze and you won’t be able to sell your gas”. Russia has leverage but it is no unlimited. They need the money from selling the gas almost as much as Ukraine needs the gas.

        2. I am sure he does. I just think getting one is going to a hell of a lot of hassle and not worth the effort.

  22. I’ll probbaly have to repeat this in the PM Links thread, since all those freaks three hours behind the times in California probably won’t see it here. This doesn’t seem to be an April Fools joke, either:

    Porn for Jesse: Finland’s postal service to issue “Tom of Finland” stamps

      1. IFH lives a day in the future, you know.

      2. I already responded to you, you freaky antipodean.

  23. Chimpanzees escape Kansas City Zoo exhibit by using a tree branch

    Apparently one chimpanzee broke a 6-foot-limb off a tree and used it to scale a wall on the top of the outdoor enclosure, said Julie Neemeyer, a spokeswoman for the Kansas City Zoo in Missouri. The ringleader then enticed six other chimpanzees to join the fun, but they didn’t get far.

    Zoo staff used vehicles to block potential exits, then used treats to lure the animals back into their holding building. The incident lasted about 90 minutes, during which at least one TV station helicopter tracked one of the chimpanzees with its camera.

    During the “code red” situation, some zoo patrons were kept inside some of the exhibits.

    1. Chimpanzees escape Kansas City Zoo exhibit by using a tree branch

      Was it a Hominidae or Homininae tree?

    2. Scientists are still unable to determine the composition of the black monolith remaining in the enclosure.

    3. That helicopter pilot is lucky the chimps didn’t bring in their gorilla allies.

      Gorilla beats helicopter.

  24. Warty Hugeman FAQ

    Q: Is Warty Hugeman real?
    A: Warty Hugeman is all too real.

    Q: What will Warty do when he finds out you’ve been spreading lies about him?
    A: I have been commissioned by Mr. Hugeman to chronicle his adventures. The only lie I’ve ever told you, dear readers, is that he’s not coming for you.

    Q: Where was Warty Hugeman born?
    A: In the drug-addled nightmares of a dying whore.

    Q: Under what physical principle does your alleged “Warty Hugeman” purport to travel through time?
    A: Warty Hugeman uses the the Hawking radiation from micro black holes to generate an instantaneous Einstein-Rosen bridge through unterspace to travel in space and time. Everyone knows this, moron. Stop being such a moron.

    Q: How much can Warty Hugeman lift?
    A: The weight of three Scolarian MegaOxen in a 1.3 Earth standard gravity field.

    Q: Is there an evil, alternate universe Warty Hugeman? You know, like Spock with a beard?
    A: There are thousands and thousands of alternate universe Warties. They all push against the boundaries of our universe in an attempt to cross over. They will do anything to get here. We are the only universe that ever invented The Bloomin’ Onion.

    Continue reading

    1. Thank you for this vital human document. Future generations will wish they had the opportunity to heed its awful warning

      1. I think this should be etched onto a gold plate and sent into interstellar space…as a warning to other civilizations that may inhabit the stars.

        1. …and etched on the moon so we can read it from Earth.

    2. I’m scared. 🙁

      1. Me too – I wonder what the best defense is against a Wartypocolypse? Will my .45 and Remington 870 12-Gauge be enough?

        1. the best defense is against a Wartypocolypse

          a doomcock…but that might require an amendment to the constitution

        2. .45 and a 12-gauge? Warty laughs at such crude weapons.

        3. Melted gummi bears?

        4. I’m no expert, but I believe the best Warty countermeasure is to keep a fat kid around at all times. You don’t have to outrun Warty, you just have to outrun the fat kid.

      2. I am scared too.

    3. “The Crisis of Infinite Warties in 2097”

      May I somehow live long enough to witness that.

    4. Truly we live in the best of all possible universes.

      1. At least the only one that has invented the Bloomin’ Onion.

    5. Is that an Einstein-Rosen bridge or an Einstein-Rosenpenis bridge?

      1. Your puns have no power here.

        1. I invoke the presence of John Coctostan!

          I saw something this weekend saying that Fletch was a bad movie. I do not understand that conclusion.

  25. But, the New York Democrat added, “To a significant extent, the Republican base does have elements that are animated by racism, and that’s unfortunate.”

    What’s “unfortunate”, clown, is that you don’t have the balls to name names.

  26. Back from my cave touring spring break vacation in Kentucky. Lessons learned:

    Indiana + semi-trucks + thunderstorm + pot holes = no fun

    Bowling Green is boring as hell but the grass looks nice in April

    There is a billboard for “KY Action Park”, which made my wife afraid that Wartyville was nearby. But I calmed her nerves by saying that Warty doesn’t use lubricant.

    Cincinnati drivers like to toss metal bars off of trucks, right into rush hour traffic

    There is no comfortable position to sleep in when traveling in the backseat of a 2-door Honda Accord.

    1. No encounters with STEVE SMITH, I take it?

    2. You could have stopped by my wedding in BG this weekend. Probably still boring though.

      Did you check out the sinkhole museum?

      1. Looked for it, but ….

      2. I’m not much of a Corvette fan, so we just drove by it – luckily not into the sinkhole.

      3. When the preacher said, “Speak now or forever hold your peace,” he could have spoken. That would have livened up the wedding. :-p

        1. HE’S A LIBERTARIAN WHO EATS BABIES!

  27. Viagra ice cream

    *** checks calendar ***

    Nope, can’t be an April Fool gag ….

  28. “Senate Republicans are warning that “Bush fatigue” could hinder Jeb Bush’s chances of winning the presidency in 2016 if he were to secure the GOP nomination.”

    But it might spell the end of the GOP establishment in favor of something more like libertarianism.

    Really, hang one big, obvious electoral failure around the GOP establishment’s neck, and that might be it for that bunch.

    1. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!!

    2. The establishment is only as powerful as the votes it can attract. If the voters don’t want another establishment “he is electable so vote for him you dumb fucking hillbilly”, the establishment won’t get their guy nominated. It is really that simple.

      1. Has anyone yet explained how guys who lost elections were “electable”?

        1. Of course not. They just know that the path to power lies in constantly apologizing for not being a liberal and promising to work harder on not being sexist and the RACIST. Any candidate who stands up and makes a case for themselves will just make the media mad and not like them and no one wants that.

      2. Yeah, and, hopefully, we’ll get a new establishment.

        That’s what happened to the Old Right, before Goldwater, when it used to be isolationist before the Cold War.

        That’s when the establishment went from Old Right to New Right–and became interventionist.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Right_ (United_States)

        1. It is fun to blame politicians. God knows they are horrible people who deserve whatever they get. Really though, the politicians are just a reflection of the people who vote for them. If the actual GOP voters have had enough of the establishment, no amount of money and media love is going to save them.

          1. When you are told that the republic hangs by a thread, and only TEAM MAUVE can fix it, most folks panic vote for TEAM MAUVE without even considering all the options they have. That’s why everything is a crisis, everything is a panic, and the world is going to end tomorrow. People don’t make informed decisions when panic voting.

            1. True. They also tend not to vote for the people in power when panicked. If the voters panicking is good for the people in charge, it will be the first time in history.

          2. Yeah, and these things move at a glacial pace under normal circumstances, and the importance of money in modern elections probably makes the transitions even slower.

            You need the people who were willing to volunteer for organizing activities and the people who were willing to dig deep into their wallets to change their convictions so that they’ll volunteer just as much as they did before and give just as much money as they did before–to a candidate who opposes the very policies that the establishment used to volunteer and give money for!

            That doesn’t happen overnight.

            But if the people in the party change, then the party will change, too.

            1. The Constitution is drafted to make change slow and hard. It took the Progs a hundred years of fanatical single minded dedication to get us in this mess. We won’t fix it over night.

              1. There is little more telling about the state of the Constitution today than the fact that no one bothers trying to amend the Constitution anymore.

    3. “hang one big, obvious electoral failure around the GOP establishment’s neck”

      They ought to be wearing the last two, but somehow it’s the TPers and isolationists who are the problem.

      1. And whenever one of theirs doesn’t get a nomination, they always walk away from the party and endorse the Democrat. That is what Lugar did. That is what Christ did. That is what Mike Castle did.

        Yet, the real problem is that the Tea Party and Libertarians won’t just go along and support the party when their guy doesn’t win.

        1. “That is what Christ did”

          Your misspellings are always, ah, interesting.

          1. Crist is more Anti-Christ than Christ.

    4. But it might spell the end of the GOP establishment in favor of something more like libertarianism.

      Really, hang one big, obvious electoral failure around the GOP establishment’s neck, and that might be it for that bunch.

      Are you referring to a Jeb Bush or Goldwater candidacy?

      1. We should be able to see one lead to the other.

        From the Old Right link I pasted above:

        Many members of [the Old Right] were associated with the Republicans of the interwar years led by Robert Taft and Herbert Hoover. Some were Democrats. They were called the “Old Right” to distinguish them from their New Right successors, such as Barry Goldwater, who came to prominence in the 1950s and 1960s and favored an interventionist foreign policy to battle international communism.”

        Isolationism in a Cold War environment, with ICBMs and an expansionist USSR was a loser.

        When Barry Goldwater came on the scene, he was new thing, and these kinds of policy changes don’t stop and do a 180 on a dime. Still, that ideological faction, the New Right, was able to change the GOP’s direction, and I think just about everybody sees Goldwater’s campaign as the beginning of the establishment GOP we have today.

        If Rand Paul is another Barry Goldwater, that’ll be a good thing long term. And if the Robert Tafts and Herbert Hoovers of the GOP today win another election, that will probably set the reformation of the GOP back a ways. The GOP establishment is going to have to reform, long term, though.

        Social conservatism and foreign policy interventionism aren’t going to build a winning coalition over the long term in the future.

    5. Incidentally, I chalk up to Bush fatigue most of the hostility I see people express towards the Ukrainians and rebels in Syria. I think it’s behind a lot of why people want to capitulate to Iran on its nuclear (and long range missile) programs, as well.

      People (not just here but elsewhere online) seem to be so leery of another Bush style intervention, that I’ve seen them demonize peaceful protestors and defend Neville Chamberlain as if he’d been horribly misunderstood.

  29. Yesterday Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee Chairman Rep. Steve Israel (D-N.Y.) said that “not all” of his Republican colleagues are racists.

    “Some of my best Republican friends are not racists. I can’t understand why they are so angry at me.”

    1. They’re obviously closet racists, Steve.

  30. First comment I saw on an article elsewhere about the Kansas City JCC shooting went something to the effect of “Why am I not surprised that this guy is a Ron Paul supporter”?

    And then I gave myself a concussion hitting my head against the desk.

    1. He is a former Democratic LT Governor Candidate. Really though, he could have been a Marxist college professor who was wearing a Che shirt when arrested and these people would tell themselves he was a Paul supporter. The facts don’t matter. The narrative is all that matters.

      1. According to Wikipedia, he also ran in the Republican Senate primary in NC in 1986.

        1. It is almost like he is a psychotic nut or something. Who could have guessed that?

    1. First they came for the twinkies and then they came for the Girl Scouts.

      1. They may wish to rephrase that.

        1. I can’t control what those with dirty minds think.

        2. Archer: “So we’re just done with phrasing, right, that’s not a thing anymore?”

          1. Danger Zone!

      2. For, In, what difference does it make right?

    2. junk food is now totally verboten — in school vending machines, stores, and lunchrooms.

      So the USDA is going to come after parents who put so-called junk food in their children’s brown bag lunches?

      And if they’re getting rid of junk food, does it mean they’re finally getting rid of the carb-loading junk?

      1. Not too mention just getting rid of the cafeteria food altogether.

        1. Our middle school served “burritos” with Prego (or maybe it was Ragu) instead of salsa.

          It was Vermont, though.

          1. I’m trying to think of the first time I saw/had a burrito. It was probably when I moved to Burlington for college.

            1. Well, this isn’t counting breakfast “burritos” in gas stations.

      2. Be quiet and eat your noodles and bread!

        1. “Grubs *again*, grumble, grumble!”

      3. Nope….Creamed Corn….shudder…. is still available…in industrial sized portions.

        1. I fucking love creamed corn. If only they could have served it at school.

    3. Hey, they are the US Dept of Agriculture, the world’s foremost experts on nutrition and health. They have no ulterior motives and have never been wrong or had to change policies before, so you listen when they talk.

  31. I read this yesterday – interesting:

    The All-American Life and Death of Eric Harroun

    The Federal case hinged on the assumption that Eric was a fanatical jihadist, a Muslim extremist who, alongside his terrorist compatriots, utilized a weapon of mass destruction ? that’s what they were calling the RPG Eric fired at the wall. (RPGs are common on any battlefield.) But it was now obvious that Eric had been with a branch of the FSA, which the US had openly backed. In addition, his willingness to tell the FBI and CIA exactly what he was doing, wherever he went, whenever they asked, would no doubt prove deeply embarrassing to the feds. In short, the US government was trying to execute a bipolar Army veteran who was fighting a tyrant alongside US-backed rebels for firing a commonly used weapon at a wall.

    1. Days before his death, Eric told me excitedly that he had finally gotten his passport back. He also now had a driver’s license, and he had purchased a 500 hp BMW ? which he could only start after using a breathalyzer device, since he had also received a DUI. Eric assured me he was going to go back to fight in Syria. That would, of course, never happen.

      He doesn’t strike me as much of a fanatical Muslim. Sounds more like just a confused adventurer. How long before the FBI gets someone like this to launch a false flag operation?

    2. But it was now obvious that Eric had been with a branch of the FSA, which the US had openly backed.

      I thought as long as the EBT cards still worked the Free Shit Army wasn’t taking the field…?

  32. This morning the nodders on Morning Joke were breathlessly yammering about what a truly wonderful and brilliant person Chelsea Clinton is.

    Are they setting us up for

    CLINTON / CLINTON 2016?

    Because that would be fucking awesome.

    1. Our political and media class is so inbreed they will all have large chins and lisps within in a generation.

    2. “Two Clinton’s for the price of one” worked back in the 90s.

  33. Really, hang one big, obvious electoral failure around the GOP establishment’s neck, and that might be it for that bunch.

    Good grief.

    McCain wasn’t enough.

    Romney wasn’t enough.

    Those morons won’t let go of the tiller until their cold dead hands are pried off.

  34. Apropos none of the above…
    Science teacher gets suspended for having students build electric coil guns. Apparently some zero tolerance idiot freaked over the word “gun” or something.

    If you’re on facebook, “like” this page.

    1. After all, how can you not support a guy with facial hair like that, who coaches the school’s fencing team? 😉

    2. I built a small Gauss gun with my son some years ago. Surprisingly nonlethal.

    3. Science, swords, technology, and that kind of facial hair. That guy’s obviously a steampunk superhero in his spare time. I wonder what name he goes by. Lord Asskickingsley?

  35. Not sure if serious: “Beware of Cupcake Fascism”

    http://www.theguardian.com/com…..ke-fascism

  36. Holy crap, I just realized that Feeney is the one who posted the Links today. I saw the alt-text and assumed otherwise.

    Nice.

  37. Joffrey Baratheon had too much wine last night at his wedding.

    1. I was kinda sad about it, I was hoping his death would be much more prolonged and uncomfortable

      1. The way the scene played out in the show felt more tense to me than it did the book. At least the lead up part.

    2. Indeed. I had hoped for something more, um, excruciating. Oh well. Interestingly, I do not recall a single sex scene in this episode either. Is that a spoiler?

      1. Yeah, I’ve noticed the sex and boob quotient has declined as the violence quotient has increased

      2. That look between Oberyn and Loras should almost count.

        1. ^this is true

    3. I hope Jack Gleeson can get some good roles after this. Considering that he was most well-known for being a cute kid before this series, he did a good job of becoming a complete asshole that the world enjoyed watching getting slapped by Peter Dinklage in endless loops.

      1. He claims that he is going to quit acting. We’ll see.

        I’m thinking a sitcom where he plays a young washed-up actor who’s really nice but everyone hates him for a role he played.

        1. Quit-quit or quit-to-finish-school-then-come-back quit? That’s kinda what Natalie Portman did.

          1. I bet we could get him into ST: TOC.

            1. Just throw money at the problem until it is solved or the recalcitrant is drowned by money.

              1. I mean, that’s one option. But you also know the strategy I like to use to solve all problems.

                1. Actors crushed by rocks are notoriously ineffective on screen.

                  1. We don’t crush him. Just everyone he loves. And only if he continues to refuse.

                    1. That’s some precision bombardment you’re suggesting. I told you we needed a space-based laser system for more precise persuasion.

                    2. I suppose he can also refuse our offer by staying in the house with his loved ones for the rest of his life.

                    3. If you prefer to use a carrot method, we could start by offering to bombard that guy who took his lunch money in 3rd grade.

          2. He wants to be a professor, I think. He’s pretty big into Classics.

            1. Like Peter Weller. But he still acts.

  38. Sounds liek some pretty serious business to me dude.

    http://www.GotsDatAnon.tk

  39. What do you think happens at the end of a Presidential Administration when they’re getting to the end of the list of donors and cronies they need to pay off with high-salary, mid-management jobs?

    You get people like our new boss, who managed to individually alienate our entire team. In one week. This must be a new record.

    And he has a highly punchable face.

    1. And he has a highly punchable face.

      Well what are you waiting for?

      1. I gotta wait til I have something else lined up…though I do like working here (despite the political bottom-feeders that come and go). Maybe I’ll just wait it out. He’ll only be here for 2 years, max.

    2. Poop in his desk. It’s your only option.

      1. Do you have to poop in the desk directly or can you poop in a suitable container and then bring it to the desk? I’m only asking because I have difficulty maintaining balance while pooping.

        1. I think the first is more dramatic, but the other would be acceptable. If the whole pooping oeuvre is not your thing, a dead bird or some roadkill will do in a pinch.

          1. Dog poop is easy enough to procure.

            I will need some Mission: Impossible gear to penetrate the 5th floor executive clubhouse, though.

        2. It must be a flammable container, and must be alight when put in the desk.

    3. You are going to see the bottom of the barrel, especially after November. All of the ones who can walk and chew gum at the same time already have jobs but will be bailing to go and work for Hillary so they can get a job in the next administration. That will leave only the idiot sons and the ones with Yglesias like intelligence who are willing to take any job, even if it only lasts a year.

    4. This guy used to work at Atlantic Media. ‘Nuff said?

      (maybe I should just leave a copy of reason on my desk)

      1. Or leave a copy of reason on his desk…

    5. Pretend to seduce him, take a pic of his tiny penis and post it on the internet. It helps if he goes swimming first.

  40. Facing contempt charges, commissioners in Carroll County, MD, vote 3-2 to obey a federal court order banning prayers in Jesus’ name. They can still make non-Jesus-related prayers.

    “Last week, the commission presented a prayer without references to a specific deity, but during the *public comment session,* [emphasis added] one area resident spoke out against the court ruling and began praying in the name of Jesus. [The American Humanist Association] then asked Judge Quarles to fine the commission $10,000 for each sectarian prayer presented in contempt of the court….

    “As part of the resolution, only Board President Dave Roush will present the invocations at public meetings, and while he may still refer to “God,” “Heavenly Father,” “God of Abraham,” or similar phrases, he will not use the name of Jesus.”

    Dissenting commissioner Richard *Rothschild* said “censorship is not freedom.” So we see the sinister interests behind the public-prayer movement.

    http://crossmap.christianpost……-name-9885

    1. It is one thing if you started putting “In Jesus’ name” on the police cars or on the county laws. I don’t see how you forfeit your free speech rights by becoming a commissioner. Anyone should be able to pray anywhere they want for any reason. If some commissioner wants to pray to Jesus at a meeting, he should be able to. If the voters don’t like it, vote him out of office.

      Fuck the federal judge on this. If a judge can tell them they can’t say “Jesus”, what is to stop a judge from telling them they can’t say anything else?

      1. There is a difference between being able to pray and being able to pray in an official capacity at a public government meeting. No one should be stopped from having a prayer before the meeting, but if it is a part of the official proceedings, that looks to me like government promoting a particular religion. The people who think it is important can get together before hand to say whatever prayer they want.

        But the ruling doesn’t make any sense. Either you can say a prayer at a government meeting or you can’t. How is slightly broadening the prayer so that it includes a particular group of monotheistic religions rather than just Christianity any different?

        1. If it is part of “official proceedings” as in everyone has to do it and it is on the agenda, sure. But, what if I am a commissioner and I want to pray before the meeting because that is just how I roll? I don’t think a judge should be able to tell me I can’t do that.

          We get wrapped around the axel calling this “prayer” but really is just speech. Suppose I didn’t pray but prefaced every statement I made with “I believe Jesus would say…”. Isn’t that just as much “establishing” as saying the prayer? Yet, I don’t see how any judge could tell me that I couldn’t do that consistent with the First Amendment. So I don’t see how he can tell me I can’t pray or thank Thor or whatever.

          1. I’m an athiest and I agree with John wholeheartedly.

            Sectarian prayers have no business being part of the official proceedings, but if an individual, or even group of individuals who are in the government wish to pray individually or as group wish to use a portion of their individual speaking time to pray to Cthulhu then more power to them

            1. Exactly Railio. If you don’t like me saying that, you vote me out of office.

          2. If they are stopping people who like to pray from praying together or alone before the meeting, I completely agree that is wrong.

          3. Oh, Jesus H. Christ, that’s the stupidist thing I’ve ever read.

            1. Then you really need to get out more.

            2. What can I say, the first Amendment sucks. Maybe you should take it up with the people who wrote it.

            3. Suppose I didn’t pray but prefaced every statement I made with “I believe Jesus would say…”.

              I guess my joke was too subtle there guys…

              1. My apologies Steve. Yeah, you went right over our heads. Good on you and bad on us.

                1. meh, no worries.

        2. No one should be stopped from having a prayer before the meeting, but if it is a part of the official proceedings, that looks to me like government promoting a particular religion.

          Prayers (or magic spells, curses, or conjuring) have absolutely no place in any sort of a governmental function. Sure, if you want to do it on your own time beforehand or afterward, knock yourself out, but once the governmental function starts, keep your superstitions to yourself.

          1. Go move to a country that doesn’t have free speech if you don’t like it. Otherwise, too fucking bad. Freedom means people are free to do shit you don’t like, even in public.

          2. Prayers (or magic spells, curses, or conjuring) have absolutely no place in any sort of a governmental function.

            That is nice, but who made you king? You think that and other people are free to tell you to go fuck yourself.

  41. Speaking of that guy in Nevada….

    I had it all nicely boiled down for me at lunch Saturday.

    “THAT LAND BELONGS TO WE THE PEOPLE AND HOW DARE THAT TEABAGGING CRACKPOT PARASITE RACIST MOTHERFUCKER DEFY OUR WILL AS MANIFESTED BY AN ARMY OF ARMED FEDERAL AGENTS!!!!”

    The only thing missing was a call for Lon Horiuchi to come out of retirement and whack the guy’s wife as she hangs laundry on the line.

    1. It is not even the government’s land. It is the people’s land, that belongs to everyone. That is not even rational enough to be called a pro state position. If this guy thinks the land “belongs to everyone”, then why can’t that rancher use it to make a living? Isn’t the whole point of socialist Utopia to make it so everyone is free to use and take what they need without being exploited by the evil corporations?

      1. The idea that the government is the people and that collective decision making is possible is a popular view for some reason.

        The way I see it, if I can’t sell or otherwise dispose of a thing as I wish, then I don’t really own it. If I am part owner of all that western land that the government owns, I want to sell my share.

        1. I know the logic, but it is still insane. If the government is the people, then it can by definition do no wrong. Further, it can’t be corrupted. Yet, I bet this clown thinks that Citizens United has destroyed the integrity of elections. If so, then the government isn’t so much everyone anymore is it?

        2. I think the bigger issue is that for centuries the primary method of social organization and means of social control in European civilization was the sovereign’s control of land.

          The king owned all land he had not specifically enfeoffed to someone, and if you used it without permission (to hunt a rabbit in the King’s Wood, for example) the penalty was death.

          Although the “sovereign people” in the US also claimed to own all the land, for a very long time if you wanted to use some of it, you could. You just walked on to it and started to use it, formalizing that process by “staking a claim”.

          But now the “sovereign” is back in the business of punishing serfs who mess with the king’s land. And that robs a lot of people the wrong way. Particularly in the west, where the sheer quantity of land owned by “the king” is reminiscent of feudal systems.

          1. What Fluffy said. And the biggest thing that got Europe out of poverty and made it the richest civilization in history was taking the land away from the sovereign and giving it in clear title to whoever could afford to buy it.

            We have had endless threads on here why I think things like the Nature Conservancy are a bad idea. Really, it is just a corporation standing in for the sovereign. The common law created the rule against perpetuities to keep people from putting restraints on alienation after their death. They didn’t want people to take land off of the market and keep future generations from putting it to good use. They didn’t want grandpa leaving his land on the condition, “it never left the family and was always used as a farm”. The common law never counted on nonprofit corporations like the Nature Conservancy. They can do what grandpa couldn’t do under the common law and take land forever out of the market and effectively recreating the old forest system. And even worse, since it is not the government, the voters have no way short of outright confiscation to ever change that.

            1. A 99 year conservation easement limit wouldn’t be a bad thing. The amount of land falling into those along with local governments buying ever more amounts of open space and “natural” lands has started to concern me. The supposed check by voters (at least around here) is non-existant. None of those public lands acquired for conservation purposes will ever be disposed of. To even talk about it would get the Sierra Club types howling.

              1. Forever is a long time. I’m not worried about land going into conservation (especially if it is purchased privately). For one thing, it really is important to have open land for more than just aesthetic reasons. And if at some point in the future it becomes necessary to use the land for other purposes, the laws will change (if the laws haven’t already become irrelevant).
                I can see the objections to “permanent” conservation status, but I don’t think it is a big deal. Laws aren’t magic.

                1. For one thing, it really is important to have open land for more than just aesthetic reasons.

                  I think it is more important to have land be owned in clear title by those who can put it to the most productive use.

                  And if you agree they could change the laws to make the groups sell the property, why wait until the damage is done. Make them sell it every century or so so that if someone who values it more wants it, they can get it.

      2. It is the people’s land, that belongs to everyone.

        The people is everyone but you. In this case, ‘you’ is the rancher.

  42. And he has a highly punchable face.

    How Judgeable is it?

  43. GOPers like cronyism just as much as Dems:

    “Republicans who once reviled Tesla, now praise it”
    http://www.sfgate.com/politics…..399733.php

    I guess they need contributions, too.

    1. Of course they do. A good number of the Reason staffers love Tesla. A lot of people who should know better love that fucking welfare queen gold cart maker.

      1. It’s easy enough to separate Tesla’s engineering achievement from their unseemly if unsurprising tax credit and subsidy pandering.

        1. Take away the welfare and the company goes broke. I don’t see how selling a car that costs so much you can’t sell it in numbers to stay in business is much of an engineering achievement.

          I fail to see how a battery powered Lotus Elise is much of an engineering achievement. Drive a real Elise sometime, it is a hundred times better than a Tesla, costs less and can be driven long distances.

          1. I don’t know how much of an achievement any of the Tesla designs are. But being able to sell a thing profitably isn’t necessary to something being an impressive engineering achievement. Didn’t VW lose several million dollars on each Bugatti Veyron they sold?

          2. I’d never deny that it’s expensive, which gets to my point of separating the technology from the financing. But calling it a battery-powered Elise is just plain wrong.

            I’m not defending Tesla the company, nor would I defend any organization that exists due to massive subsidies. See NASA for example, although I can still admire the space shuttle… er… most of the time.

            1. flye,
              I think it’s a truly rotten design, simply because it attempts to use a certain technology where it has no application.
              Battery-powered vehicles are a VERY good idea for, say, urban delivery vehicles where there are short runs and overnight charging.
              They are a very bad idea as interstate cruisers.

        2. Allowing direct retail sales from auto manufacturers wouldn’t be bad either. Would be nice to customize and order a F-150 just the same as a Dell laptop.

          1. Cdr Lytton|4.14.14 @ 10:57AM|#
            “Allowing direct retail sales from auto manufacturers wouldn’t be bad either.”

            Allowing any adult to buy anything s/he wants from whoever is a very good idea.
            Cheerleading for a company that wouldn’t exist without the money taken from me at gunpoint is a very bad idea.

  44. The SEIU is pitching the ballot issue for a city-wide $15 M/W, but may have shot itself in the foot:

    “Union demand: $21/hr. min. wage”
    […]
    “The SEIU’s proposed new contract with the city includes calls for:
    — A 15 percent raise over the next three years.
    — A $21-an-hour minimum wage for all city workers.
    — Fully paid health coverage for single workers, 98 percent paid coverage for couples and 85 percent coverage for families.
    — Free shit all the way down”
    (I added the last line)
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..399680.php

    1. Somehow local pols haven’t figured out that appeasing the SEIU with a generous contract only gets you goodwill for a few months.

      They will come back ask for more and more because that’s what they do. That’s all they do. You can’t stop them. They will wade through you, reach down the taxpayers’ throats and pull their fucking hearts out.

  45. If this guy thinks the land “belongs to everyone”, then why can’t that rancher use it to make a living?

    If that guy had turned ten thousand “wild mustangs” out onto the BLM land in symbolic attempt to turn back the clock to the (purely imaginary) unspoiled prehistoric state of the land, this person would probably be right there on the barricades, Smith and Wesson in hand.

    But raising cows for money? That’s just icky.

    1. For sure. And double bonus points for it being horses he released. You know horses, that species that was introduced to the Western Hemisphere by the Europeans. The irony would never dawn on him.

      1. The way “wild” horses in the US are treated is kind of funny. How long does a feral animal have to live in a place for it to go from invasive species to national treasure that must be preserved at all costs? 400 years?
        People seem a lot less enthusiastic about feral pigs.

  46. Thankfully crazy outs itself. Just had a girl call off our date tonight because I haven’t called her since Thursday (when we set it up). At that time she told me she doesn’t text, but I could call her if I needed to get in touch. This morning I’ve get a rant that includes “If you don’t want to talk to me before the date there’s no point going on the date!”

    Plus now I don’t have to skip the gym tonight.

    1. Bullet dodged.

      1. Yeah. I find it most crazy that she apparently needs all this contact beforehand, but explicitly told me we couldn’t text. That makes it even less likely I’d talk to her in the meantime.

        1. She probably couldn’t text because she didn’t want a bunch of.messages from a stranger showing up on her phone that her boyfriend/husband could.see. a phone.call is easily shrugged off as a wrong number.

    2. Thankfully crazy outed itself very early in the game.

    3. What, you don’t want to follow through and give her half your shit? Pussy.

  47. UN says that fixing climate change is affordable

    So why don’t you all just take it, you anti-science, environment-hating jerks?! You’re nothing but ecological terrorists!
    /Enviroderp

    1. The models indicate it’ll barely cost anything. Models are never wrong, you teabagging sack of shit.

      1. Models are never wrong

        Especially Kate Upton

    2. What they mean is that it is affordable to bribe the UN to change its position. The UN is notoriously corrupt.

    3. Then the UN should go ahead and pay for it and stop bothering us.

  48. It’s easy enough to separate Tesla’s engineering achievement from their unseemly if unsurprising tax credit and subsidy pandering.

    I’d like to see how many people are willing to pay full tilt retail for this “wizardry”.

    A long time ago, I was watching an auto-industry panel show, and somebody asked, “What if everybody who wants a Hummer has one, now? What happens next?”

    I think we are going to reach a point in the not too distant future when everybody who wants a Tesla has one. I do not believe any amount of subsidies will ever get Tesla’s sales equal to Porsche’s.

    1. Hey, Tesla’s are awesome cars and make a lot of sense….

      When Gas is over $12 a gallon, in 2014 dollars.

      So until the price of gas shoots up massively faster than inflation for a long time they are just play things of the rich (and with the government subsidies the near rich)

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