A.M. Links: Obama to Recommend NSA Reforms, Ukrainian Defense Minister Dismissed, NASA Wants Vote on Space Suit


  • my vote

    President Obama is expected to introduce legislation to reform the National Security Agency (NSA), including ending some bulk data collections.

  • Ukraine's defense minister has been dismissed a day after ordering Ukrainian troops out of Crimea.
  • Following the missing flight, Chinese tourists are looking away from Malaysia as a destination.
  • A bomb went off, and the Taliban engaged in a firefight, near the home of one of Afghanistan's presidential candidates.
  • The eyewear maker Luxottica Group, which owns the brands Ray-Ban and Oakley, will be redesigning Google Glass.
  • The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants the public to vote on its final spacesuit design.

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  1. Ukraine’s defense minister has been dismissed a day after ordering Ukrainian troops out of Crimea.

    For being a chicken.

    1. chicken.

      Ukraine is game to you!?

      1. For being a chicken.

        I wonder if he will live in Kiev?

        1. Or Peking?

          *** ducks ***

          1. I’m *this* close to shutting down the internet for the rest of the day. Good one.

    2. Obviously the reason why links were late is because Fist commanded it.

      1. You know, random AM Links post times would make them more competitive. Not that I’m advocating it, just saying.

        1. Truly random, or just arbitrary? 😉

    3. I think the AM links were late to give others a chance to post first. It clearly did not make a difference.

    4. Hello.


      /points to watch.

      Tsk, tsk.

      Stuck in traffic? Dog drank your gas?

      1. 9:50 in Newfoundland.

    5. His family shouldn’t worry about his financial prospects though. France was on the phone less than an hour later.

    1. There was an 02 explosion and they had to figure out a way to cobble together a working monocle from spare parts.

  2. The eyewear maker Luxottica Group, which owns the brands Ray-Ban and Oakley, will be redesigning Google Glass.

    Let’s see if we can damage two or three brands while we’re at it, I guess.

    1. I’m still waiting for Microsoft’s Monocle to come out.

    2. Seriously, a monocle might be a better vehicle for “augmented reality” or whatever they call it. You at least have one eye free, and your brain can easily superimpose (or ignore) images coming from one eye.

      Worth a shot, anyway. Bound to be a market segment for it.

      1. Or just wear 2 monocles, and watch 2 different “movies” at once.

  3. Here’s a little Tuesday morning nutpunch. Enjoy!

    Homeless guy gets gunned down by a horse of thugs, er, cops.

    1. …ended in Boyd’s death after he allegedly threatened a K-9 officer.

      wow. Just wow.

      1. Watch the video. You’ll have a lot more to say than wow.

        1. Tried. Couldn’t make it all the way through. It is too early to start drinking whiskey while reflex-punching the computer screen.

        2. THIS is why all cops should have helmet cams!!! Without that, you can be damned sure the pigs would have said he threatened them and they felt they were in mortal danger. Fing pigs!! Just F em all.

          And why didn’t these guys tase the poor guy?? Isn’t that what tasers are for??

      2. Saying mean things to one of the King’s Animals is far worse than their shooting one of our animals.

        1. Saying mean things to one of the King’s Animals is far worse than their shooting one of our animals us.

        2. Killing Threatening one of the Sherriff’s deer dogs IS punishable by death.

          The ABQ police are now offically more despotic and murderous than the fuckin’ Sherrif of Nottingham

    2. ABQ’s cops are notoriously trigger-happy. I’m not sure what exactly their deal is, although the crime rates are far higher than the national average. The rates have actually been going down for the last 14 years, and most of the bad areas are right around the highway corridors.

  4. ‘Porn Studies’: The world’s newest scholarly journal

    The debut issue of Porn Studies, published by Routledge and co-edited by a professor of cultural studies at London’s Middlesex University, was released on Friday. It hails itself as the “first dedicated, international, peer reviewed journal to critically explore those cultural products and services designated as pornographic.”

    Indeed, the journal teems in critical exploration. Some of the titles:

    “Revisiting dirty looks”
    “Hard to swallow: Hard-core pornography on screen”
    “Pornography, porno, porn: Thoughts on a weedy field”
    “Deep tags: Toward a quantitative analysis of online pornography”
    “Internationalizing porn studies”
    “Porn and sex education, porn as sex education”

    or how porn became boring…

    1. You gotta wonder if they will be accepting papers from researchers at Topsex and Bottomsex universities too

      1. Win.

    2. Sounds like a ripe vehicle for people to put their own political preconceptions all over.

      “Cisgender privilege in pizza delivery pornography”
      “Jungle fever and affirmative action”
      “Libertarians and libertines, a study of Duke sexual habits”

      1. I do like the amateur “Pizza Dare” videos, but the faux delivery pron – no, not the penis through the pizza box! – does nothing for me.

    3. Harold Bloom made a great point in his famous book “Closing of the American Mind”. He said as a teacher of young people he always laughed when people acted concerned about porn and its effect on young people. Porn, in his view, was for old perverts. Young people in contrast were too busy having actual sex to bother with porn.

      I think Bloom had it about right.

      1. I answered you in the other thread John. But for fear of it being already obsolete, I’ll repeat here.

        I live in a suburb 20 minutes north of Montreal – Laval. My place of business is still 10 minutes further north of where I live at the ‘foot of the Laurentians.

        1. You live in a very nice place Rufus. The Laurentians are a bit of an unknown treasure here in the US. Until I started dating my wife, who grew up in Boston and is 1/4 Quebecois, I had no idea they existed much less were that pretty.

          1. I think there’s a natural affinity between New England and Quebec.

            1. When in town, open shout out to Reasoners to give me a call.

              1. I will do that. My wife and I go up there every few years. We went on our honeymoon to Montreal and Quebec City. We always like to go up again.

            2. Because they’re both horrible shitholes that are never a comfortable temperature and teeming with overbearing control freaks?

        2. Rufus, I can’t remember if I asked you already, but I have conflicting reports about vacation destinations – half of people I ask like Quebec City and half like Montreal. Which do you recommend?

          1. I defer to Rufus’s judgement. But having been to both multiple times, I think it depends on what you want. Montreal is a big city. It has all of the things you expect in a big city. It has great food and a very nice old town, a decent art museum and a couple of beautiful churches and a lot of good architecture.

            Quebec is much more picturesque. It is a no kidding walled town like you see in Europe. The old part of Quebec City is gorgeous. But it is not a big city like Montreal. It is a bit sleepier with less to do, but still a lot of great food. If I had to spend a weekend, I would say Quebec City. If I had to spend more than that, Montreal since Quebec is small and would get a bit boring after a few days.

            1. Probably Quebec then. I’m looking for something a bit more European.

          2. John, pretty much nailed it.

            Montreal is like Boston or NYC. More to do than Quebec City. Quebec is a picturesque little town that makes you think you’re in Europe. I mean, you can always take the 2 hour journey up and check it out for the day. QC has a different, more in line with the traditional French-Canadian jovial vibe than Montreal.

            Montreal is eclectic in the summer time. What we lack in world class venues and facilities, we more than make up in the general overall electricity.

            If it’s your first time up, go with Mtl.

            1. hm. Maybe just have to extend the trip to do both then.

      2. Porn is ultimately about nothing. It’s two or more people getting their jollies to entertain someone else. This idea of porn studies is as stupid as ESPN commentator socio/political ramblings.

        1. That is true. And that is why the internet and affordable HD cameras are the death of people making big money in porn. Once people were able to make their own porn and share it with the world, there was no reason for anyone to pay for it anymore. There will always be someone willing to give porn away for free just because they are exhibitionists and get off on it.

          1. I don’t know about that. Lets face it most people who do amature porn aren’t all that good looking. While there is something to be said for such authenticity I think there will always be demand for some made by Pro’s with pro lighting and perfectly sculpted bodies.

            1. This and camera angles and other things – though I do think the age of major porn stars and major money for those stars is over and has been for some time – there are “stars” today and they make money doing it and there’s no reason to expect that to go away any time soon.

    4. You can’t spell analysis without “ysis”.

    5. or how porn became boring…

      Porn is becoming like the word ‘cyber’…it is starting to feel dated and dull. A word used by old people. And as ‘cyber’ was replaced by ‘digital’ and many others, what should replace Porn? I’d support a campaign for lubricity…or luby as the kids might call it.

  5. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants the public to vote on its final spacesuit design.

    I vote on the shiny silver one with the triangle front and utility belt.

    1. Plus purple hair


    2. I vote for the red jumpsuit.

      1. Now who would volunteer to wear the dreaded red shirt?

  6. Smuggler caught with 22 bears running free in his car tried to convince customs officials they were dogs

    A Chinese smuggler was caught red-handed with 22 baby bears running free in his car – but when questioned by police, the man claimed that he thought the animals were dogs.

    Wu Meng, 28, told border patrol guards in south-west China that he was going to sue them when they took away what he described as rare pedigree Akita puppies.

    When a vet confirmed that all 22 of the furry animals were not dogs and were in fact bears, Meng claimed that he had been ripped off by the seller.

    1. Poor things. I bet they were very cute.

      1. And now they are soup or quasi-viagra.

        1. gummy bears

    2. At least they weren’t drop bears.

      1. If they were, nothing would have been left of the man…or the car.

    3. Gottsssta love China.

      1. Not that this kinda shit can’t and dosen’t happen here.

        1. Actually, I don’t really think it does.

    4. It seems the Chinese have a thing about either passing dogs off as other animals or vice versa.

    5. What tipped off the cops to the fact that the guys was lying? Lack of a bib? Don’t want to get that dog BBQ on your nice work clothes after all.

      Before I get branded as a racist, let me say that I am married to a Korean gal and I know (anecdotally at least) that dogs do get eaten in parts of Asia.

      When we visited my in-laws when were going to get married, they had a nice dog running around their farm. Later when we visited again a few years later, the dog was gone and I asked my father-in-law where the dog was and his reply was “He was starting to get old, so we ate him.”

  7. Hillary is going full retard in 2016

    TEMPE, Ariz. ? Hillary Rodham Clinton said here Saturday night that she is weighing another presidential campaign and is “very much concerned” about the direction of the country, citing climate change as a particular focus.


    Wasn’t her husband’s formula to pretend to be sane and tell the nutty left to suck it up and settle for some appointments once he won? I am thinking in a climate of a terrible economy, long term high unemployment and ridiculous gas prices, climate change is almost as big of a loser as gun control.

    1. I’m assuming this is what that particular crowd wanted to hear.

      1. True. I guess it says that Hillary is worried about a challenge from her left.

      2. Not so sure. Despite far eastern Europe/western Asia starting to resemble the Third Reich, Mr. Ed wants to make “climate change” the cornerstone of U.S. policy. As in, the #1 issue above all else. We’ve received many memos and policy guidance on this.

        I’m thinking the D’s are gonna put all their eggs in that basket in a year when things really ramp up, election-wise. I wonder if the GOP is prepared to out-retard them this time? Giving past history, I’d say yes.

        1. *given

        2. Russia is holding the Europe over a barrell with its natural gas supply and telling us to fuck off on Iran. Meanwhile, China and Japan are about to go to blows and God only knows when North Korea is finally going to implode, which it will.

          But global warming is our biggest problem. I honestly think leftists have latched onto AGW partially as a way of denying reality. Every day that goes by shows how stupid and unrealistic their assumptions about the world are. Remember how they thought Obama was going to make the world safe and America loved by not being that Cowboy Bush? How is that working out?

          To avoid facing this reality, they pretend it doesn’t matter because global warming is the real problem.

          1. I honestly think leftists have latched onto AGW partially as a way of denying reality. Every day that goes by shows how stupid and unrealistic their assumptions about the world are.

            I suspect it’s more likely that the Dems know that there’s effectively nothing the US can do in the realm of foreign policy to halt whatever events take place. Whatever happens in the countries you mention will end up taking place largely irrespetive of our influence. Putin’s essentially shown that if you have enough stroke, you can tell the US to fuck off and there isn’t anything we can do about it. And for the Dems, whose entire worldview hinges on the sociopathic notion of “messaging,” this is something that they have no idea how to confront.

            The sudden obsession with AGW and the Koch brothers is simply another stage in their ADD-afflicted need to find dragons to slay, because they have no idea right now anymore how to deal with the issues that actually matter.

            1. Well, there is lots we could do about it. It is just all of the things we could do are also things the Democrats refuse to do.

              The world is a hard place that requires hard choices and very clear and determined efforts to defend your interests against your enemies. The heart of the Democratic view of the world is that the US and Western Europe are an evil nations saddled with irredeemable sins from their past that owes the world reparations for its sins and that peace can only be attained by making such reparations.

              Putin is just acting like a great power and putting lie to all of that. The Democrats have no way to process or respond to Putin without giving up the cherished myth I describe above.

        3. Income climate inequality change!

          Rain gap!

    2. One particular focus among many.

    3. “Income inequality” was taken.

    4. She’s not already full retard?

      1. At this point, does it matter?

  8. President Obama is expected to introduce legislation

    And then he will pass it and sign it.

    1. Of course he is going to sign it, you know how long it has been since he got to use his pen?

    2. What difference, at this point, does it make?

    3. This is actually a savvy political move. I’m sure Obama Jarret saw that video of Rand at Berkeley and realized they had to blunt this tide of discontent over the NSA. It’s a shame because Rand was really getting some traction with the far left wackos that need to be dragged into reality.

  9. Following the missing flight, Chinese tourists are looking away from Malaysia as a destination.

    So it’s kinda like the anti-Mecca for Buddhists?

    1. Plans crash sometimes. It is not like there have been a run of them in Malaysia lately.

      1. Planes too.

      2. They are just crazy superstitious. They’ll file and petition to have the address of a house changed before they purchase it if the address contains the number 4 (which in Mandarin is homonymous with the word ‘death’).

        1. The Chinese are nuts with superstitions. They had to totally redesign the front of the new MGM Grand hotel back in the 1990s because the entrance was somehow considered bad Feng Sui and non of the Chinese high rollers would gamble there until it was changed.

          1. Lol it was a giant Lion’s head and you had to walk through the mouth! Now it’s just two lions at the entrance. They face each other so the Chinese gamblers think they are “busy fighting each other” and won’t steal their luck.

          2. So are the Vietnamese. I have several Vietnamese clients and working out a solution to their problems that are simultaneously legal and not in violation of any of their superstitions gets pretty frustrating.

            1. Even their restaurants reflect this. Pho 777 (apparently a lucky number) is one of my favorite pho spots in Chicago. Pho 888 isn’t too bad, but 777 takes the cake.

          3. The mental gymnastics required to think that any design choices could make a casino a good idea to gamble in from a financial perspective astound me.

            1. Asians are degenerate gamblers. If Asians ever stopped flying to Las Vegas, I think the place would implode in about a month.

          4. And they’re still ok with walking right underneath the Sphinx’ scrotum at the entrance to the Luxor.

    2. Chinese tourists are looking away from Malaysia as a destination.

      I would think they would want to avoid the Indian Ocean as a destination.

  10. President Obama is expected to introduce legislation to reform the National Security Agency (NSA), including ending some bulk data collections.

    So the NSA is going to be strengthened, then?

    1. I just keep thinking the changes are going to involve “doing a better job of hiding what we do.”

      1. ^THIS^

        *Makes cosmetic change* Now get off our backs…


        1. You might say they are going to apply more concealer.

          *puts pinky to lips like Dr Evil*

  11. Lady Gaga Responds To Criticism Over Head Defecation Stunt

    The Internet exploded with criticism Friday after a performance by Lady Gaga at the NSFW Music Festival in Winslow, Arizona, in which a homeless man wet defecated on her head.

    Gaga was premiering the title track to her new album “Derelique” when halfway through the song Gaga sat on the stage and a pantless, dirty man in tattered clothing pulling a shopping cart straddled her head and oozed what appeared to be several gallons of a brown, chunky liquid over her head, face and body.

    Minutes later fellow singer Demi Lovato lashed out in a Twitter post “Does Gaga think homeless people who just ate out of a dumpster and are experiencing severe abdominal disruption is funny?”.

    1. She’s just trying to stay out in front of Hansel.

      1. How long before she builds a school for ants?

      2. +1 eugoogaly

    2. It’s all about the music.

    3. Demi Lovato needs to go back on drugs. She’s become a huge wet blanket.

      1. I figured you’d be more upset about Gaga ripping off a chapter from your Warty adventures.

    4. Hang on. Someone shat on her head?

      Wasn’t this covered in South Park or something with Paris Hilton?

    5. I like that it’s the homeless aspect that she objects to. A well-dressed man with monocle and top hat defecating on Gaga would be tasteful.

      1. She CARES – I like that so much about her.

    6. I would have thought this was a deliberate act of performance art.

      1. At least her work isn’t strongly vaginal.

    7. Lady Gaga is a shithead?

    8. “Derelique”?

      At least she has good taste in movies.

    9. So hot right now.

    10. Maybe Gaga can truly shock the world by reading excerpts from ‘Atlas Shrugged’. Or by releasing 100 Warty clones into the audience.

    11. Lady Gaga, misunderstood genius, or perfectly understood idiot?

      1. I think she actually is quite bright. Her act is intentional.

    12. I am starting to like Die Antwoord even more for their anti-gaga video

  12. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants the public to vote on its final spacesuit design.

    I vote that they choose a design which refuses to work unless it is at GEO or above.

    1. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I am not buying the wisdom of crowds when it comes to engineering problems.

      1. Everybody knows politics makes for the best technical solutions.

      2. You don’t want the space suit version of Homer’s car?

        1. Let’s not drag the Pontiac Aztec into this.

      3. The camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

      4. I’m still uncertain about the theory of wisdom of crowds. Doesn’t it just mean tyranny of the majority?

        1. In some ways. I have always thought it was mystical bullshit. It is the same theory behind people think Inatrade ever had any special insight into the future. No, Inatrade was a reflection of conventional wisdom, which may or may not be correct.

          1. Wait, is this the same Ina who used to clean my house on the weekends?

          2. “Thank you for calling Initech Inatrade, just a moment!”

        2. I always understood it to mean the best guess…which is not the same as correct answer

      5. Neil Armstrong is spinning in in his grave.

        1. You’d think he’d get over that mailbox incident by now.

      6. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I am not buying the wisdom of crowds when it comes to engineering problems.

        Yeah, but it’s a marketing idea with less downside than say… picking an untrained school teacher to send to outer space?

    2. Vote for the suit with the least amount of impact on global climate change. Our goal is a carbon-free NASA by 2020.

      1. And muslim friendly too.

        1. And genderless so that no one feels uncomfortable peeing in it.

          1. We want to be welcoming to our trans-alien friends.

    3. Why is NASA worrying about petty things like that? Didn’t they say recently that the world is coming to an end? Don’t sweat the small stuff.

  13. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants the public to vote on its final spacesuit design.

    The “I Love Putin” slogan on the back stays mandatory for access to actual space, though.

  14. Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, who along with his wife plowed more than $92 million into efforts to help mostly losing candidates in the 2012 elections, is undertaking a new strategy for 2016 ? to tap his fortune on behalf of a more mainstream Republican with a clear shot to win the White House, according to people familiar with his thinking.

    This strategy would favor more established 2016 hopefuls such as former Florida governor Jeb Bush, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker and Ohio Gov. John Kasich. All four will descend this week on Adelson’s luxury hotel in Las Vegas, the Venetian, for an important step in what some are calling the “Sheldon Primary.”

    “He doesn’t want a crazy extremist to be the nominee,” Chaltiel said. “He wants someone who has the chance to win the election, who is reasonable in his positions, who has convictions but is not totally crazy.”


    War with Iran is his #1 goal.

    1. People who pour money into politics creep me out. Can’t this guy just buy an F1 team, or something similarly useful?

    2. If he really wants to move the needle, long-term, he should spend $90mm buying media outlets.

  15. Texas town pays Ted Nugent $16,250 not to play at Fourth of July celebration

    Longview was in negotiations to have Nugent play at the Fireworks and Freedom Celebration on Independence Day, but backed out after Nugent called President Obama a “subhuman mongrel” while campaigning with Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott earlier this year.

    According to city spokesman Shawn Hara, Longview had other concerns that led to Nugent being paid $16,250 to end contract negotiations. The amount was half of Nugent’s guaranteed performance fee.

    1. Sweaty Teddy is going to be the new Westboro. Get paid for stirring up trouble.

    2. That contract put them in a real Stranglehold.

    3. “How much do you charge not to play?”

      -Groucho Marx

      1. CORRECTION: “What do you get for not playing?” – GM in Animal Crackers

  16. A bomb went off, and the Taliban engaged in a firefight, near the home of one of Afghanistan’s presidential candidates.

    In other news, the sun set in the west today.

  17. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) wants the public to vote on its final spacesuit design.

    Is it going to be Blue Steel or Magnum?

  18. “The President … will put forward a sound approach to ensuring the government no longer collects or holds this data, but still ensures that the government has access to the information it needs to meet the national security needs his team has identified,” the official said. But the official declined to specify where the bulk phone metadata, as it’s called, would ultimately be stored.

    Obviously the solution is to require every person to store their own data indefinitely or face felony charges.

    1. If you haven’t done anything wrong, why shouldn’t you collect and store ALL personal and pertinent data about yourself?

      Do you want the prosecutors to have to PROVE your guilt. The burden must be on you serf.

    2. “The President … will put forward a sound approach…

      What part of ‘sound approach’ don’t you understand? Let me be clear, I’m going to talk about this but not actually do anything. Then I’ll talk some more and point to my previous statement as proof that I did indeed do something – I talked about it.

    3. What they are going to do is this:

      Require all the ISPs, telecoms, etc. to hold the data.

      Give the NSA access to the data after a brand spanking new bureaucracy has approved it.

      End result: no change. It really makes no difference whose server the data is stored on, but that’s all they are going to change.

  19. ObamaCare’s Latest Legal Challenge
    Can the White House simply declare that the federal government is the 51st state?

    On Tuesday the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals will hear one of the more important legal challenges to ObamaCare’s lawless implementation. Unlike the challenge to the individual insurance mandate, Halbig v. Sebelius involves no great questions of constitutional interpretation. The plaintiffs are merely asking the judges to tell the Administration to faithfully execute the plain language of the statute that Congress passed and President Obama signed.

    The Affordable Care Act?at least the version that passed in 2010?instructed the states to establish insurance exchanges, and if they didn’t the Health and Human Services Department was authorized to build federal exchanges. The law says that subsidies will be available only to people who enroll “through an Exchange established by the State.” The question in Halbig is whether these taxpayer subsidies can be distributed through the federal exchanges, as the Administration insists.

    Prior to passage, Democrats were divided over the structure of the exchanges, with liberals favoring a national clearinghouse and moderates state control. The federalists won and conditioned the subsidies on state-based exchanges.

    1. There is no rational way to defend that action. Both the plain language of the statute and the legislative history show that Congress intended the subsidies to only be available in state run exchanges. They did that thinking that it would penalize states who didn’t build exchanges and thus get all of the states to build them so the Feds wouldn’t have to.

      If the courts let this stand, they really are saying FYTIW

      1. Its not a fine, its a tax.

        1. It was a fine for the purposes of hearing the case prior to the mandate going into effect, but then they decided it was a tax afterall in order to find it “constituitional.”

          So it’s a fine when they need it to be, but also a tax when that becomes more convenient. Because, FYTW.

          1. Its a floor wax and a dessert topping!!!

        2. It’s not a premium support, it’s a negative tax

      2. John, Congress explicitly changed the non-compliance tax into a non-compliance penalty, and the courts decided to treat it as a tax nonetheless. They do what’s expedient.

        [Roberts] pulled from his robe a crumbled sheet of thick paper. He tilted it so that she could read it in the light. Elena could make out the familiar words: “We the People?” The rest was obscured by nine fat lines of dried shit.

        “On your knees,” Roberts said.

        Elena dropped down, accustomed to following orders without thought. Looming over her, face shadowed once more, Roberts said “Hold out your hands.” Scalia let out a hysterical giggle and Roberts turned and backhanded him to the floor. Scalia’s smug grin was filled with blood when he finally stood. Ruth stooped down to run a finger through the blood when Roberts turned back, and then began to massage it into her crotch under her robe. Elena caught a glimpse of iron gray pubic hair and gagged.

        Roberts crumbled the paper into a rough ball in Elena’s hands. “What We do today, We do for Expediency’s Sake,” Roberts continued. “Expediency’s Sake,” the others replied. Roberts produced a match and struck it quickly on his front teeth. The paper in her hands caught quickly.

        “Wha-What are you doing?”

        “SILENCE!” Roberts thundered. “WE DO WHAT MUST BE DONE!”

        1. I am not saying they won’t do it again. I am just saying that it will be an even worse example of FYTIW.

    2. Shouldn’t that be 58th state?

      1. They’re just clarifying what the extra 7 are.

  20. President Obama is expected to introduce legislation to reform the National Security Agency (NSA), including ending some bulk data collections.

    Expanding the death penalty, I suppose.

  21. So, I managed to piss off the wife last night. Apparently going out to eat with my parents is unacceptable. Naturally, she vented to her “friends” at work who of course think I’m the asshole for even suggesting that I should be able to do things without her and the baby on occasion. Of course, what her “friends” don’t know, because she left this part out, is that I did offer to get a sitter and she turned it down because she would rather be pissed off. A little more backs story: She was out of town from Th-Sun, I never complain when she goes out with her “friends” after work and I generally do about 80% of the childcare.

    1. I’m sensing the wife isn’t the only one who got pissed off.

      1. I’m more annoyed that instead of taking me up on the sitter she chose to grab some drinks after work, complain to her friends then come home and make a facebook post about it.

        1. If she’s looking to generate drama she’s going to find (i.e. make) it.

        2. My wife-unit has a similar view: Everyone needs to be as miserable as she is, and she makes sure of it.

        3. She shouldn’t bitch about you to other people, but aren’t you sort of doing the same thing? It sounds like you might have communication issues.

          1. She shouldn’t bitch about you to other people

            That’s human nature; everyone needs an outlet for their frustrations and issues.

            However, that doesn’t appear to be what’s happening here.

          2. I don’t think it’s quite the same thing, as this is more of an semi-anonymous or fully anonymous board, not airing dirty laundry in your public circle of friends. Plus, it sounds like RBS has legitimate concerns, albeit this is just one side of the story.

            1. Not just is it wrong – but when any spouse specifically seeks out friends, not for relationship help, but for the express purpose of complaining about the other spouse they will always be vindicated.

              Because when doing so, they only tell the very specific parts of the story, that make them correct.

              Now even then, sometimes adults need to vent, but if this isn’t just venting, the over time it will create greater issues as the more the spouse complains, the more the friends no only agree, but start advising things like “you have to do something” or “you cannot possibly continue to live this way”.

              Though note the tendency here might be to blame the friends, who if sentient, likely should shoulder some blame, but I think in most cases this is simply weak people looking for confirmation to things they are already thinking – namely things are working out as expected (there’s another thing to watch for, expectations – if you expected your spouse to be a multi-millionaire, perfect body – then even having a very good looking spouse making 6 figures is a bad life).

              Note though – I don’t know the individual in question and don’t mean to imply any of this towards that person. & am sorry if any of it does apply.

              But if this is the scenario and you want to stop it, only by seeing it for what it is can you start to think of ways to handle it.

              Though again – hopefully this isn’t your scenario and my apologies if it is.

    2. This is (one of many) reasons why I’m not married. Stupid games and childish bullshit is a dealbreaker.

      1. Not all women are like this.

        1. Citation needed.

        2. This. I’m very good about not saying anything negative about my husband to other people. But honestly, it’s just because of how I was raised. Most people don’t consider it wrong and gossiping about other people is an easy habit to get into. And btw, women aren’t the only ones who do it.

          1. And btw, women aren’t the only ones who do it.

            Agreed – I came to the conclusion at a young age to never talk bad about my spouse at work (not that it helped, as I’m divorce now…).

            The reason – I was in the Army and every word out of any of the older married males mouths wrt their spouses was always negative.

            To the point on most occassions I wanted to just say “divorce or shut up”, but the point is I learned early how self-fulfilling and reinforcing this “spouse sucks” talk around friends/colleagues/etc.

            & as you noted – I was raised that way, where family issues can openly be discussed within the family, but that’s where they stay.

            Also… it always seemed to me to just be stupid to constantly call one’s spouse stupid/evil/etc as it just makes the one complaining look stupid.

            But each to their own I suppose – so long as I don’t have to listen to it 🙂

      2. What Spoonman said.

        I never thought I’d get married until I met my wife. She doesn’t play that shit, she’s honest, and my best friend. Be patient.

        1. Yeah, my wife can come off as bossy – scratch that, she is – but I know exactly what she wants, and she knows exactly what I want, and we can both do whatever else within those bounds. It means I have a lot more “freedom” than people who are always worried that something might piss off their spouse. I love the woman.

          Shit, we have a four-month-old who spent a week in the hospital after birth and our house got flooded by a burst pipe so we’ve been staying with family around the country – what I’m saying is, it’s been a pretty fucking stressful winter – and our relationship feels as strong as ever. We work great together.

          1. She’s been worse since she started hanging out with these girls. Some are in their mid 20’s and just haven’t gotten over the “the world revolves around me” stage and the others are 30-40 and are still looking for Mr. Perfect.

            1. Have you had an honest sit-down with her about how you feel your relationship hasn’t been as strong lately? Seems like you both probably have some grievances, reasonable or not.

            2. That’s not good. One of the many things I appreciate about my wife is that when she’s out with other women, she never participates in the husband bashing that is so very common. In fact, she usually excuses herself and lets them know why.

              1. I beleive Scruffy is correct here. While they think it is all just fine and not serious it does change the mindset on a sub-conscious level (or whatever level). For some reason a lot of women start to regret the choices they made b/c it didn’t pan out the way they expected – and guess what, it is all the husbands fault.

            3. Ugh, the bitchy friends are the worse. It’s why my wife doesn’t hang out with female friends very much (it helps that she’s an engineer and works with mostly men).

              She’s actually hung up on her mother and sister when they get into man bashing mode.

            4. Some are in their mid 20’s and just haven’t gotten over the “the world revolves around me” stage and the others are 30-40 and are still looking for Mr. Perfect.

              So your wife’s circle of friends are a bunch of 20-something narcissists and 30-something Gen-Xers who are starting to realize that their looks aren’t getting them the attention that they used to. No wonder she’s projecting all their bullshit on to your relationship.

              Women tend to adopt the attitudes of whatever pack they latch on to, so if you don’t want this marraige going down the drain, you better have a talk with her about this fast and get her away from that toxic environment by whatever means you can. Otherwise you’re staring in the face of a divorce in about 1-2 years–I’ve seen it happen way too many times.

              One thing I love about my wife is that she despises women’s bullshit as much as I do.

              1. One thing I love about my wife is that she despises women’s bullshit as much as I do.

                My wife loves drama. On Masterpiece Theater. Drama at home and with friends? Not so much.

              2. oh goody let’s do the dumb “generational stereotyping” bullshit for the hojillionth time. That never gets old.

                1. Not everyone can be as chronologically maladjusted as you, NK.

                  There’s truth in the wisdom of experience.

                2. How you doing Randian? It’s hard to see you way up there on your horse.

          2. My wife can be bossy. It took a while for her to adjust to the fact that I just don’t care. I have a bit of a problem with authority and just don’t take orders well. She has finally come around to realize trying to boss me around is a hopeless and counter productive task. Better to ask me or give me a reason to do something or just realize that I am not going to do some things.

            Women always think they can boss men and change them. It rarely works. Either the guy goes along and eventually resents it so much he blows up one day and leaves. Or the guy stands up for himself like I do and it never accomplishes anything.

            1. Women always

              Beware the absolutes.

              1. I think it’s near-universal experience that women at least have some drive to change their man.

              2. True. Not all women. But a lot of them. I wonder sometimes why my wife married me. I think she might have been happier with some cringing beta male who would follow her orders rather than a hopeless case like me. I guess she wanted a challenge or something. Or was overly ambitious.

                1. beta male


                  no, John. Just no.

                  1. I know NK. I caught myself as soon as I hit submit. Whatever you want to call it. I mean men who spend their lives being miserable cowering from their wives and doing their wives’ bidding. Whatever that is, it is not me.

                    1. doing their wives’ bidding.

                      With me, it’s “what price will make you stop talking and leave me alone?”

                    2. That is terrible JW. My condolences. I think everyone goes there once in a while. But I hope it isn’t an all of the time thing with you. The sad fact is I bet your wife has no idea she has the kind of effect on you and would be shocked if she ever realized it.

                    3. I try and have an honest relationship with her and I have told her flat out what the situation is*, but she refuses to accept the idea that our marriage has been an empty sham for the past decade.

                      Still, I have no regrets and never will. I have 2 amazing kids that have changed my life.

                      * “The 2 least compatible people on the planet, with practically no shared interests now, who should have probably never married to begin with.”

                    4. You are a good person JW. Most people are too selfish to put their kids above themselves. When the kids are raised, leave and never regret the years you spent because you know it produced two good kids and gave them a good childhood. It sucks for you in the short term. But the kids didn’t choose to be there.

                    5. Thanks John. It’s very far from perfect, the kids have figured out on their own what the situation is (they aren’t stupid), but I try and make it as normal as I can for them. That usually involves playing a lot of interference.

                      Not sweating the small shit goes a long way.

                      But, they’ve had a stable life, living in the same house for their entire lives, with both parents around and financially secure for the most part. That’s something I missed growing up.

                    6. she refuses to accept the idea that our marriage has been an empty sham for the past decade

                      Not exactly an easy thing to hear. Maybe just focus on how it’s just not working in the present?

                    7. Not exactly an easy thing to hear. Maybe just focus on how it’s just not working in the present?

                      I’ve done that too. There’s very, very little common ground.

                      I’ve told her, jokingly, that we don’t even hate the same people. She thinks that’s me being ‘mean.’

                2. Most of my experience is with shorter relationships, but I’ve still seen the majority of women I’ve dated (long enough to be considered a relationship) try to start changing me.

                3. Now I’m picturing Claire Dunphy 🙂

              3. Correct, Kristen, but from what I’ve seen the exception proves the rule. Just sayin’.

              4. The mother of my child liked to threaten with “do this, or I’ll leave you and take the kid with me”. One day I finally said, “OK then go”.

                I wonder if the lack of respect for authority is a libertarian trait. I like to think of it as a healthy attitude toward authority–I always obey my boss’s commands, because I voluntarily submitted to his authority. And the one time I had to refuse, I offered to leave because I couldn’t follow through (I felt I would harm myself or others). I just don’t consider my female partner my boss.

                1. I just don’t consider my female partner my boss.

                  She’s not and neither are you, hers.

                  When one of the two in the partnership can’t understand that simple formula, therein lies the root of all of your problems.

            2. My wife and I accept each other as we are, faults and all. It’s kinda neat.

              1. You have to sarcasmic. If you don’t, you will go nuts. I have learned to ignore her bossiness and she has learned to live with the fact that she is maybe going to get me to do 30% of what she wants me to do and maybe 10% done like she likes it.

                If you are going to stay married you have to realize that everyone has faults and if you can’t put up with someone else’ faults, you shouldn’t get married. It is just a question of which faults you are willing to live with.

            3. If my gentleman caller (is that better than “squeeze”, Auric??) were to substantively change, I wouldn’t be too thrilled about it. I started dating him because of certain qualities. If those qualities were no longer there, I wouldn’t be as attracted to him.

              1. That… actually sounds even more dated, which I didn’t think was possible.

                1. Just saying, if I like my helpmeet enough to go on a second date with him, then he’s pretty OK the way he is.

                  (Now I’m just trying to irritate Auric).

                  1. You failed, since I don’t have a clue what that is.

                    You’re not married, so he’s not a husband. But it’s an exclusive relationship with a man, right? So why isn’t he your boyfriend?

                    1. Because I’m a pathological contrarian.

                  2. I will say I learned a lot from my previous long-term relationship, and I will never, ever, ever, ever allow myself to get in that position again (drama, etc.). I made a very deliberate and specific vow to eradicate drama and dramatic people from my life. It has worked well. When my mom died I was prepared to deal with it because I didn’t have a shitload of distractions.

                    1. “I made a very deliberate and specific vow to eradicate drama and dramatic people from my life.”

                      Wait, then what the hell are you doing here?

              2. Good for you Kristen.

                1. And I agree with John. That’s the dating strategy that actually makes sense.

                  1. Yeah AD, every time I see some hot little 20 something and chat her up by instinct, I stop and think to myself, “she has just as much bullshit as any other woman and probably a lot more than my wife”. They only seem nice and perfect when you don’t have to live with them.

                    1. This is so true. Now in a ending a long distance term in my relationship I realize I actually like the bullshit more than not. You just need to have a certain perspective towards it.

                    2. Dating hot 20 something girls isn’t everything you imagine it would be. (Though yes, there are still good parts)

                    3. Dating hot 20 something girls isn’t everything you imagine it would be.

                      My wife and I are only a year apart, so we never have to explain any pop culture references to each other. With someone twenty years younger that wouldn’t be the case.

                    4. My wife and I are only a year apart, so we never have to explain any pop culture references to each other. With someone twenty years younger that wouldn’t be the case.

                      Depends on the people. My wife and I have a bit of an age difference and somehow due to bizarro upbringings of both, ended up with similar childhood cultural memories. Same music, tv shows, movies, etc.

                    5. I am sure there are a lot of good parts. But you are left with “okay what do I do with them now?” They usually want to get married or latch onto you and unless you are just a piece of shit sociopath, avoiding that gets old quick.

                      If you don’t get married, you are left with the choice of either never dating anyone and being alone or going through a serious of relationships that end badly for you or the other person. Both options kind of suck after a while unless you are just and asshole who doesn’t mind dumping people.

                    6. They usually want to get married or latch onto you and unless you are just a piece of shit sociopath, avoiding that gets old quick.

                      I haven’t seen that, but it could be due to girls like that being more likely to date older guys.

              3. Did you adjust some opera glasses when typing “gentleman caller”?

          3. Yeah, my wife can come off as bossy

            CHECK UR MALE PRIVELEDGE!!!11!!!! /bossy feminazi

      3. My wife is as congenial, rational and easy going as they come.

        In fact, it’s a marvel she puts up with my bull shit. I’m not an easy feller to get along with.

    3. You’re fucked.

      It’s going to get worse, and you are likely better off having a serious talk with her about where your marriage is going ASAP.

      1. What tarran said. You’re dealing with symptoms of a larger problem.

        1. Yep. Start squirelling away some cash if you can. Not much, just enough to get out in an emergency.

      2. You’re fucked.

        Yep. Find a coping mechanism and get a lock on your office door.

        I chose to stick it out as I swore my kids wouldn’t know a life without both parents around, as I did. It’s very hard and usually a miserable experience, but I manage to make it work, though not always as smoothly as I would like.

        The wife-unit, OTOH, despite me being very explicit in my reasoning with her, just can’t seem to grok why I don’t want to spend time with her. Either that or, after 20 years together, she refuses to accept the reality of the situation. See “changing him.”

        4 years to go.

    4. The solution: saunter in tonight around midnight.

      1. Or take the baby and move in with your parents.

        1. Yeah, if your wife isn’t contributing to the childcare, the baby’s not getting breastmilk anymore (health benefits of that are worth putting up with some drama), and she doesn’t like you, I’m having trouble seeing what you and your child are getting from the lady.

          1. He’s almost 2.

    5. I recommend lightly smothering her with a pillow as she sleeps. Once her unconscious mind knows who is the boss, the rest of her will come around on its own.

      1. Plus, this approach has the advantage of not leaving any visible bruises…

        “What do you tell your wife with 2 black eyes? Nothin’, you already told her twice!”

      2. Wait, lightly? You left that part out, before!

    6. How do you know what she told her “friends” at work?

      1. She told me about it.

        1. “So, what you’re saying is you bitched and moaned about me behind your back to bitchy little friends at work, and now you’re telling me about it so that I know you’ve been talking shit about me behind my back? Yeah, this sounds like a real healthy relationship we’ve got here…”

          Probably not the best way to break the ice and segue into “the relationship talk.”

          1. Well, it was more like “I told the girls what you did and it was so awful they almost cried for me.”

            The irony of me venting on H&R is not lost on me…

            1. To be fair, there’s a couple of women here too. Though nicole, in typical worse fashion, isn’t here to give advice.

            2. At least it’s anonymous here. There’s no damage done to your reputation. And you care enough to try and fix things instead of bitching.

              1. The anonymous* part is actually a pretty relevant difference now that you bring that up.


        2. Nice.

          No, not being passive-aggressive and manipulative at all.

        3. She could be lying to get a rise out of you too. My ex used to do that.

    7. My wife did a gardening job two weekends ago while I was working. She installed some gravel to widen out driveway a bit. In the process she collected all of this metal junk that had collected there over the years and planned to use it for some art project. She put the shit right by the recycling bin.

      Understand, I think recycling is a complete waste of resources and in fact bad for the environment. So I am always pissed off when I am going to get that stupid bin rather than just taking the trash out the night before trash days. So not paying attention, I threw her box of stuff out with the recycling.

      It could be weeks before I hear the end of this, if I ever do.

      1. Metal is one of the few areas of recycling that is not always a waste of resources.

        1. Very true. And you know that is true because people will pay you for it or go around and take it out of your trash if you leave it out.

          If recycling paper and plastic made sense, people would be out dumpster diving for it or offering to pay you for it like they do metal.

          1. You must remember that recycling is not about cost effectiveness, it’s about landfills.

            People think that if we don’t recycle, that the entire planet will be one big landfill.

            Someone did the math and determined that one hole, forty mile square, one hundred twenty feed deep, could hold all of the USA’s waste for the next thousand years.

            Unfortunately, recycling brings out emotions, and fact never win an emotional argument.

            1. NO MEGA DUMP IN SC!!!!!!!!!!!!

            2. Yes. That is a point I have made any number of times to people. We are not and never were running out of landfill space. But recycling things like paper and plastic uses real resources that would be better employed elsewhere. And doing so also does great damage to the environment than just putting the stuff in a landfill.

              1. At one point when I was fairly young I realized that if recycling paper was a better use of resources, recycled paper would be cheaper than normal paper instead of the other way around. I deduced that it must be using more effort to recycle than the raw material “saves”.

                1. AD,

                  The paper recycling drives me nuts. Paper is make on tree farms that take up relatively little space in the scheme of things. People act like they are cutting down redwoods to make newsprint.

                  1. Wow, I didn’t realize it had been so long since I refreshed. That’s what I get for actually following people’s links.

                2. Paper recycling is especially worthless as all paper in the US comes from tree farms, so it’s not like we’re running out of this renewable resource. Also all that worse for the environment stuff.

                  1. All paper in the U.S. comes from TEH KOCHTOPUS!!!!

                  2. When I was a scout, we’d collect newspaper and sell them to a scrap dealer or mill (it’s been so long I can’t remember which). Curbside recycling completely killed the post consumer paper market. No need to buy a ton or two from scouts or the local homeless shelter (another collector) when they can get tons of it from the county.

        2. Here in Czechia, they reuse the beer bottles instead of recycling them. I’m pretty sure this actually is more efficient thank just making new bottles from scratch or recycled glass.

          1. It takes a lot of water and soap to clean a beer bottle. Making a new one in contrast just takes sand and some heat.

            1. A shitload of heat. I’m pretty sure the soaking and rinsing a bottle takes a lot less energy. Otherwise it would be more efficient to buy new glasses instead of washing them.

              1. as inexpensive as I have seen some glasses, it might be if you could eliminate travel costs.

              2. It is a shitload of heat, but once you get a furnace up and going, you can make a shitload of glass. And the cost of picking up and transporting all of those bottles goes up pretty quick.

                1. The truck leaves the factory with a bunch of full bottles, comes back with a bunch of empties. Scale works here also.

                  1. Brewery in Sarajevo (Sarajevo Pivo, yum!) did the same thing – the fun was seeing the many colors of bottles they had scrounged up.

          2. They do that here in America too. It’s called homebrewing.

            1. Believe it or not, those Bud long necks behind most bars have been reused several times.
              In fact, they don’t even use soap and water to clean them. They use jets of air.

            2. By the way, brewed a rosemary wheat ale this weekend. Bubbling away nicely.

              1. Nice. I’m trying to score some maple sap to substitute for water in an all-grain ale. Hoping it will add a woody flavor.

                1. One of my college classmates did that. It didn’t seem to make a big difference in the final product.

                  Though if you want to try it, do you have any trees near you that you could tap? It wouldn’t take many to get enough for a batch of homebrew.

                  1. I’ve got mostly oaks on my property. There are a few maples, but they’re swamp maple, not sugar.

              2. That sounds really good AD.

                Reminds me that I need to put some of my stash of Wachusett Green Monsta in the fridge for Opening Day.

          3. I vaguely remember in the 70s we were always returning pop bottles to the store for eventual re-bottling. Those were the long-necks that came in packs of 8. Seems more practical than the current situation – and with the added benefit that there weren’t derelicts picking through your trash all the time.

      2. Sorry John, I’m siding with your wife.

        I’ve lost too many computer parts and other tech type hardware to my wife’s occasional fits of cleaning to not feel her pain deeply.

        Like your wife’s scrap metal, lots of my stuff that I use is in large snarls of wires and bits and pieces and does resemble trash, but to me it is super useful.

        Intellectually I know that she didn’t mean to screw me over, but when I’m trying to scrounge up a new serial breakout box with a particular chip I need for some rube goldberg project, emotionally it is hard not to vent at her.

        1. I am not saying it was right of me to throw it away. I am just saying that if you have a box of junk that you value, don’t store it next to the recycling container. Had it been anywhere else, I would never have touched it.

          1. Yeah, I get it. You didn’t mean to throw it out.

            Your wife and I don’t mean to get urinated off because we know that, but like I said, sometime it is hard to emotionally let go.

            Call it the “You used up all the glue on purpose!” syndrome.

    8. tarran’s right…if she is barely hinged about something like this, you are not going to like what follows. It’s one thing when your spouse has some irrational beef but you hash it out face to face. It’s much different when she decides to take it to FB and her friends.

      1. Unless she’s suffering from PPD it sounds like some serious trouble ahead. My wife would never, ever even consider playing silly games like this, much less trash me on something like FB. Then again, she grew up in communist Czecholovakia so she knows well the difference between actual problems and teenage drama.

        1. Yup. My wife doesn’t think it’s healthy to ever vent – even in jest – to others.

          Keep in the family.

    9. how old is your child? First one? Perhaps she’s feeling overwhelmed by the new situation, and instead of talking to you about it, decides to approach her friends.

      I’ve seen this type of passive/aggressive (or whatever it is) approach with a couple I know. They bitch and fight, and then post about it on Facebook, trying to shame each other. It’s weird.

    10. How far in advance did you make the plans? Did you come home from work and drop it on her “Oh BTW I’m going to dinner with my parents, should I look for a sitter?” Or did you make the plans a few days/week in advance?

      Also, why couldn’t she come to dinner? Is this between you and her or is there an in-law dynamic you’re leaving out? If not, then yeah, its just a talk you need to have with her. If she doesn’t get along with them, you may be fucked and require you to operate with more tact in the future (like going to dinner with them and getting a sitter when she has her girls night).

      Sorry, man.

      1. It was rescheduled from over the weekend because my step-dad wanted to come, which is why I offered to get a sitter. Oh yeah, there is definitely a great deal of in law tension.

        1. What’s the in-law tension? Is your mom super mean to her, or is it something more nuanced?

          And are you on the same team when there’s conflicts with either set of grandparents?

          1. We have completely different relationships with our parents/families. I’m really close with mine and enjoy spending time with them now that I’m older and they absolutely love the grandkid. She isn’t very close with her mom, it’s more of a let me buy you stuff and leave you alone thing, so she thinks that’s how all families should be. Her parents live out of state so I don’t expect them to see the baby as frequently as mine do but they haven’t exactly made the effort either.

            1. With that in mind, the biggest issue is that last year when we took a vacation her mom came to town to help watch the baby. Except, she never took the initiative to call or ride by my parents house to see him. So, my wife thought my parents were hoarding the kid while I thought her mom just wasn’t trying. My suspicions were true, I called my mother and told her to take him over to see his other grandmother but my wife’s mom pretty much told my mom she’d rather not have the responsibility. Then lied about it to my wife.

              1. Sounds like your mother-in-law is kind of a bitch. I can relate, my mother-in-law hated me at first, for no apparent reason. She flat out told my wife that she didn’t think our marriage would last 6 months. It’s been 8.5 years and counting.

                1. My mother in law is saint from Heaven…my father in law is a somewhat cranky bigot.

  22. related to the first AM link:

    Obama to propose ending NSA bulk collection of phone records: official

    Ha! Okay, not really…

    President Barack Obama plans to ask Congress to end the bulk collection and storage of phone records by the National Security Agency but allow the government to access the “metadata” when needed, a senior administration official said on Monday.

    If Congress approves, the Obama administration would stop collecting the information, known as metadata, which lists millions of phone calls made in the United States. The practice triggered a national debate over privacy rights when the extent of the surveillance program was exposed last year by former NSA contractor Edward Snowden.

    Instead, the government would have to get permission from the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court to review data about the time and duration of telephone calls that it believes may be connected to terror attacks, according to the New York Times, which first reported the plan.

    1. President Barack Obama plans to ask Congress to end the bulk collection and storage of phone records by the National Security Agency

      NSA is under the executive branch, no? Of all the times to forget your pen and phone, why now?

      Oh right, cause this is all political and words don’t matter.

  23. Alaska petition seeking secession back to Russia gets 10,000 signatures in three days

    A petition seeking the secession of Alaska back to Russia received more than 10,000 signatures in three days and is well on its way to getting enough signers to require an official response from the White House.

    The “Alaska Back to Russia” petition was created by an unnamed Anchorage resident (S.V.) last week and it has already gotten more than 18,000 signatures. The petition needs 100,000 signers by April 20 to warrant a response from the Obama administration.

    1. I didn’t RTFA, but apparently the statism of the U.S. isn’t enough for these idiots.

        1. 18,000+ people? That would be awesome.

          1. Hell, I’d sign just for the lulz.

        2. I thought so too, the shoddy grammar was another indication.

  24. Who is the creepy Staten Island Clown? Man spotted wandering the streets in demonic costume and waving at drivers
    The demonic-looking clown has been spotted for several days at train stations, banks and hiding behind trees in residential areas
    Residents have posted pictures of the clown on social media along with reactions that run from fear and repulsion to outright anger
    A similar clown had residents of the English town of Northampton calling police last year, but it turned out to be a jokester college student

    I wonder how badly beaten he will be in his mug shot…

    1. Maybe it is Pennywise. Maybe.

      1. The only thing that can save Staten Island is an underage gangbang.

        1. Is that what was going on? I read It at an age when I would not have quite.understood that.

          1. One girl, six guys. At a minimum, she was pulling a train.

            1. What? The last one to Tottenville?

    2. Who is the creepy Staten Island Clown?

      Oh, *please* let it turn out to be de Blasio!

    3. Didn’t some guy do this same thing in Connecticut or New Hampshire last year?

    4. Probably just some hipster idiot’s idea of LOOK AT MEEEEEE!!!11!!!! performance art bullshit.

      Where’s the hipster beater when we need him?

      1. I have to admit that I love the simplicity of the bit. It’s very Joker-ish.

    5. The current theory is it’s a publicity stunt for a movie. Somebody figured out that all the folks posting OMG! on FB were actually agency hacks. That shit goes on all the time lately. (See: the devil baby from a few weeks ago.)

  25. Personal FBI flights for Holder and other Justice officials went unreported

    Congress’s nonpartisan Government Accountability Office determined that the 395 flights cost taxpayers $7.8 million. But the General Services Administration, which oversees trips aboard federal jets, did not require documentation because of a GSA reporting exemption that covers intelligence agencies, even in cases of unclassified personal travel.

    The GSA exemption contradicts decades-old executive-branch requirements, specifically guidelines established by President Bill Clinton and the Office of Management and Budget, according to the report. The report said GSA “has not provided a basis for deviating from executive branch requirements.”

    1. Our noble lords and masters do the king’s bidding day in and day out. Who are you to deny them a modicum of relaxation at the expense of the King’s treaury?

  26. Bold girl, 14, issues cop with handwritten ‘parking violation’ notice after he leaves police car in illegal spot outside her home… and he REWARDS her

    Bold? Or stupid?

    ‘A lesson would be not to be shy or afraid of law enforcement.
    ‘We’re here to help.’

    Haaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Girl got lucky.

    1. Surprised it didn’t turn out more like this (at least). (Bonus: used the policeone link so you can see how cops respond to a cop breaking the law “because I can”)

      1. An honest cop. That’s refreshing.

      2. I agree that its easy to Monday Morning Quarterback this thing to death. I don’t think the cop was being rude. He was approached in a hostile manner and responded admirably.


        1. What’s more hostile than starting an exchange with “excuse me” and then asking if he’s got a reason to be breaking the law?

          1. Anything short of approaching on hands and knees with a bowed head is considered hostile.

    2. Maybe he saw a kindred spirit.

  27. The nodders on morning Joke were all aflutter about tales of discord and resentment in the White House. Apparently, Michelle and Valerie bully the shit out of the drones.

    It’s a victory for something.

    1. That Joe guy. Was he in Congress?

      1. He represented Florida’s First District in the Nineties.

  28. My birthday is tomorrow, and it’s a biggie!

    So I booked a night in a $400/night hotel, with an in-room massage. Happy ending TBD (depends on what time the squeeze shows up).

    Not having kids is awesome 😛

    1. Happy birthday! (though I’m pretty sure that’s still about 30 years too young to say squeeze)

    2. 54 already?

    3. So you’re 29 and holding on for dear life? 😉

    4. Happy birthday! Have a great time for us breeders.

    5. Don’t panic, getting older is…mostly harmless.

      1. Yay!!

      2. getting older is…mostly harmless terminal

    6. Happy Birthday, KK! Hope you have a wonderful day.

  29. Sandra Fluke: At the Supreme Court, a potential catastrophe for women’s rights

    A pair of potentially catastrophic cases will be argued before the Supreme Court on Tuesday. These cases are brought by privately held, for-profit corporations that are arguing their religious convictions should preclude them from offering employees the health insurance required by law. Specifically, these private employers don’t want to allow their employees’ insurance to cover some forms of birth control because, contrary to medicaland scientific evidence, they believe some birth control causes abortions.

    Corporations are not people. Corporations cannot have religious views. If religious rights are extended to corporations, it puts us on a slippery slope where any private company could argue that religious beliefs prevent it from offering vital employee protections.

    1. Teh stoopid is strong with this one.

      1. Fluke makes up for it by having perfected the feminist butt hurt expression. She wears it constantly. It must have taken years of women’s studies classes to perfect it.

        1. Can you imagine the kind of men that she gets to date her? I picture Doug from the terrible sitcom Til Death

          1. I can’t imagine. She is not just horrible looking, despite what people on here say. She doesn’t way 300 lbs or have a horn growing out of her head or something. But her personality seems just awful. The woman never smiles or seems to have anything funny or cheerful to say. I cannot imagine dating a feminist harpy like her. How do you ever have a good time with such a person?

            1. She is not just horrible looking…

              …and she can’t say anything stupid once she has your dick in her mouth.

              1. True. And she won’t look that bad either.

          2. Russian guys, because the amount of vodka needed to get them in the mood would poison a non-Russian.

            1. What do you want to bet she ends up dating some ogreish foreign guy who treats her like shit but gets away with it because Fluke secretly likes it that way and also loves having the street creed of being with a member of an oppressed group and victim of colonialism.

              Think Obama’s mother marrying his philandering drunken deadbeat Kenyan father.

              1. What do you want to bet she ends up dating some ogreish foreign guy who treats her like shit but gets away with it because Fluke secretly likes it that way and also loves having the street creed of being with a member of an oppressed group and victim of colonialism.

                Not to mention the street cred of being a victim herself.

          3. Half-hearted beard, untucked plaid shirt buttoned up to the neck, cigarette-legged jeans with just the right amount of carefully applied dirt, shoes he swears he bought in Europe. 12 credits shy of a bachelors in Environmental Design from Brown. Plays bicycle polo. Collects Japanese editions of Gordon Lightfoot vinyl. Has trouble maintaining an erection.

            1. Your online dating profile?

              1. I wish. At least those little bastards are always skinny.

            2. ok are there even Japanese versions of Gordon Lightfoot for real?

                1. Where do you come up with this shit? (he said fawningly)

                  1. Where do you come up with this shit?

                    My brain has problems. (And I know people that collect vinyl. Japanese pressings are very prized.)

                    1. What about a copy of Nite Romantics that may or may not have tween girl scribbles all over the lyrics sheet?

            3. You forgot “has wealthy and indulgent parents from whom he sponges large amounts of money”. No way is someone like Fluke dating a guy who doesn’t pay the bills.

            4. So, Doug from Til Death?

              1. Not as weaselly, but just as sad when he thinks no one is looking.

            5. You’re like a pervert Charles Dickens.

              1. Scruffy,

                That is nicely put and I shall adopt that thought when read our Free of Sugar one.

            6. I suspect she’ll end up with the Staten Island clown upthread (assuming it really is some idiotic hipster). Assuming some guido doesn’t beat him to death first.

        2. It must have taken years of women’s studies classes to perfect it.

          She obviously got an A+ in WS401: Studies in Advanced Butthurt. And probably didn’t even have to blow the teacher for it.

        3. Maybe she suffers from Bitchy Resting Face?


    2. “If religious rights are extended to corporations, it puts us on a slippery slope where any private company could argue that religious beliefs prevent it from offering vital employee protections.”

      I don’t think the mandate is justified by or limited to corporate status. Does Fluke think a sole proprietor business should be exempt from the mandate?

      “Corporations are not people.”

      Corporations are golems, I guess. That also implies corporations cannot have a “social conscience”, or be charitable or any number of pieties the Left demands.

      1. And if corporations can’t have religious views, then they can’t have social views either. That means no more shaking them down for “social justice” projects. I don’t think Sandra is going to like that very much.

        1. Yes, and the argument is a complete red herring. Hobby Lobby is not even a publicly traded corporation, it is the possession of one family.

          1. And one of the other groups challenging the mandate is the Little Sisters of the Poor for God’s sake. Does Fluke think religious orders can’t have religious views?

      2. By that reasoning, no group of more than one person is people.

    3. Corporations cannot have religious views.

      This will come as a surprise to the IRS, which issues tax exemptions on precisely this premise.

    1. Thanks to the internet, I no longer have to physically interact with people OR cats. Hooray.

      1. *simultaneously applauds and kowtows*

  30. The Wrong Way to Combat Poaching
    A new regulation banning the trade of ivory unleashes unintended consequences.

    The Department of Interior, which is charged with the enforcement of the Endangered Species Act, has announced its intention to introduce a comprehensive “ban on Commercial Trade of Ivory as Part of Overall Effort to Combat Poaching, Wildlife Trafficking.” That ban will cover both the sale of objects that contain any amount of ivory, however small, and the shipment across state lines by the owner of any object that contains ivory. Unfortunately, the detailed White House Report that outlines a “National Strategy for Combating Wildlife Trafficking” is all too oblivious to vital concerns of private property owners and to the low probability that its draconian measures will reduce the illegal ivory trade.

    1. Lets make a law that makes the animals completely valueless to the locals who live around them but worth millions to the poachers. That should stop the poaching.

      1. Hey, it solved the problems caused by Coca production in Columbia! Why wouldn’t it work in Africa?

      2. All you need to do is look at a list of Africa and all countries that ban hunting big game have huge poaching problems and shrinking game populations, while the ones that allow hunting have stable populations.

        I bet that the hipsters would change their tune if a wild elephant herd roamed New York eating/destroying their community garden patches and occasionally killing a bike messenger.


    2. Foreseeable consequences are not unintended. Isn’t there a neon law about that or somethimg?

      1. Gold star for you, Ted.

  31. …snip…

    But the choice of a legitimate end does not address the more difficult question of what means should be used to address the problem. With all guns blazing, the White House report steps up enforcement at all stages of production and distribution, without once mentioning the competing interests of current property owners of ivory: piano keys, chess sets, ivory pegs and bridges for fancy guitars, dice, tea sets, and thousands of other decorative uses are all caught in the downwind. Massive collections, acquired over decades, could lose millions, indeed billions, of dollars in value. By ignoring these interests, Interior’s draft proposals provoked, as The New York Times reports, an “uproar among musicians, antique dealers, gun collectors, and thousands of others whose ability to sell, repair, or travel with ivory objects will soon be prohibited.”

  32. That Joe guy. Was he in Congress?

    Don’t worry. He’s no ratfucker.

  33. New York Times Reporter “Obama administration is the greatest threat to the free press in a generation”.


    Bonus points in that article for showing Jeffrey Toobin to be an even bigger book licking crap weasel than he normally appears. Toobin describes the need for national security laws to be applied to reporters as analogous to drunk driving laws in that “we arrest people for creating a risk of harm”, meaning it is okay to arrest reporters for creating a “risk to national security.”

  34. Congress’s nonpartisan Government Accountability Office determined that the 395 flights cost taxpayers $7.8 million. But the General Services Administration, which oversees trips aboard federal jets, did not require documentation because of a GSA reporting exemption that covers intelligence agencies, even in cases of unclassified personal travel.

    Ticking time bomb exception.

  35. When you were a kid, did you ever suspect that your school bus driver was drunk? You may have been right.

    1. Could you drive a bunch of noxious brats every day sober? Maybe grade school kids. They are cute and pretty docile. But no way would I do middle school or high school kids sober.

      1. I don’t think I could handle elementary kids without alcohol. Those fuckers scream way too loud. For middle schoolers, I’d probably need hard drugs.

    2. I thought they were all obese witches who ate children.

  36. Poll show Alaska Democratic Senator Begich trailing for the first time.


    Dead Senator walking.

  37. Gotcher broken windows and yer straw-grasping right here:

    “Health care law opens opportunities for tech startups”
    “Before the ACA, you really didn’t have a centralized and large influence to push the industry toward these kinds of innovations,”

    Yeah, before Obo broke that window, nobody was going to waste their time fixing it!
    Oh, and to keep the lie moving:
    “More than 5 million people have enrolled in private health insurance since Oct. 1, the Obama administration said in mid-March, about 2 million short of its original projections.”
    Yeah, whizzer, how many are PAID?

    1. I have to admit that I sort of benefit from some of this crazy shit. I helped start a company that is predicated on a federal mandate that all governmental agencies that oversee roads (all the way down to townships) have to test the reflectivity of any road sign that they are responsible for.

      There is no way absent this mandate that our system of collecting that data makes sense for the smaller govenment agencies. Sure it might be nice to know where all your signs are (we collect GPS data too) and how reflective they are, but it is normally cost prohibitive.

      Next up (according to rumors) is a similar mandate to know how reflective the stripes on your roads are too.

      So yes, it does end up making some money for tech companies like mine, but overall it is a net loser.

  38. If religious rights are extended to corporations, it puts us on a slippery slope where any private company could argue that religious beliefs prevent it from offering vital employee protections.

    If we allow people to decide for themselves what is the most suitable course of action, who knows what horrors will be unleashed upon the earth?

  39. I tell someone the dimensions of an image I need are 1000×288. What does she send me? Not only NOT a 1000×288 image, but one that doesn’t even have the same aspect ratio.

    This kinda feels like Monday.

    1. Not to make an excuse for her, but thats pretty non-standard isnt it?

      1. Doesn’t matter. I specifically said “I need a 1000×288 banner”. How hard is that?

        I can use the one she sent me, but then the Ambassador’s picture will be truncated. Ambassadors don’t like their pictures to be truncated. They’re all candy-ass divas.

        1. You could stretch him instead of truncating him.

          1. Can’t. I’m uploading the file into WordPress, not editing it on Photoshop (which I don’t even have on my machine anyways). WordPress will let me crop it left or right, that’s it.

            1. Send it to me. sugarfeejay (@) gmail.com

              1. Thanks. Just waiting for the graphic designer to send me a new one. I’m just baffled how something so simple can get fucked up – is it deliberate obtuseness or just being a dingbat?

                1. I fight with graphic designers all the time. I want to beat them.

              2. sugarfee? Are you charging for your services?

                1. Shit. You’re right. sugarfreejay

                  1. You SF’d your own email addy.

        2. Close enough for government work.

    2. What the hell? Who can’t properly crop an image?

    3. Let me predict the question that was asked:

      “Can you make it fill the who screen without cutting off the sides?”

      1. Or, you know, whole screen.

    4. It’s very simple. The header image on WordPress themes are optimized for a certain size. For this particular site, we’re using WP Twenty Eleven, for which the optimal size is 1000×288 (or the same aspect ratio).

      I said “I need a 1000×288 image for this web site”. I get a 1000×233 image.

      This is not the first time this person has messed up image dimensions.

      1. To be fair, 8s and 3s can look similar. You know, in certain fonts, with a small size, when you’re not wearing your glasses and don’t care enough to make sure you got it right.

        1. don’t care enough to make sure you got it right.

          I think you’ve hit upon the root cause…

      2. Do they hate you? That’s a serious question. It sounds like a really amateurish mistake. I’m a relatively new graphic designer and I can’t imagine getting something so simple wrong.

        Another possibility is that they have a learning disability.

        1. Another possibility is that they have a learning disability.

          In which case pointing out their mistake will get you a one way ticket to sensitivity training for “othering” them.

        2. She’s worked here a long time. Working for the government makes general competent people lazy and uninspired.

  40. “More than 5 million people have enrolled in private health insurance since Oct. 1, the Obama administration said in mid-March, about 2 million short of its original projections.”

    Are they classifying Medicaid as private insurance, now?

    1. Yes. People going on the dole and having the government pay their health costs is how we are going to bend the cost curve, save America from bankruptcy, and make American corporations competitive in the world market. Didn’t you know that?

    2. They also lie; the projection was for 7M *paid* and you know full well they’re no where close to it, or they’d be flooding the talk shows about how wonderful O-care is.
      (Instead of propagandizing assholes like shreek to lie for them on places like this)

    3. Wasn’t the 7 million a baseline for success and not a projection?

      1. I’m not gonna search right now, but memory says it was Sebilius reply to a question of ‘What is the minimum for “success”?’

  41. The designers who make websites that move content up or down in order to show ads (rather than having them overlay the content) are history’s greatest monsters.

  42. http://thehill.com/homenews/ne…..ate-silver

    Democrats turning on Nate Silver.

    Conservatives ripped Silver back then for his “flawed model,” with some claiming Silver was a biased liberal. Democrats loved him then, but now they’re attacking him.

    The difference, of course, is that the Democrats’ political fortunes have taken a turn for the worse and Silver isn’t optimistic about their chances in November.

    “We think the Republicans are now slight favorites to win at least six seats and capture the chamber,” Silver wrote, predicting Republicans could net as many as 11 seats. Silver, who pegs the chances of a GOP takeover at 60 percent, unveiled his crystal ball Sunday on ABC’s “This Week.”

    Democrats quickly fired back.

    Sen. Michael Bennet (Colo.), who heads the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC), told The Hill, “I think he’s got his numbers wrong, which is unusual for Nate. In this case, I look forward to talking to him after the election.”

    Bennet added, “He ought to go back and check what he said about [Sen.] Claire McCaskill [(D-Mo.)] and some of the other races in the last cycle.”

    1. His spat with Krugman looks promising.

    2. Good for Nate. At least he can’t be accused of being a shill for big donkeyphant.

      1. I think he is overrated as a pollster. It is hysterical to watch Democrats now claim he is some kind of Republican shill when just two years ago he was the word of God.

    3. Burying one’s head in the sand is a time-honored DC tradition.

      1. If they admit they are in trouble, they would have to examine why. And they can’t do that because doing that would require admitting that Obama is an idiot and is destroying the party.

        The interesting thing about Obama is that however much damage he has done to the country and his political enemies, he has done more to his supporters. Obama has robbed his supporters of whatever dignity they had left when he came along.

        I know the easy thing to say is that his supporters never really cared about the war or privacy or misuse of government power and such. And that is true for some of them. But a lot of them really did care about those things. And they really do think what Obama is doing is wrong. But Obama, because he is the first black President and because so many of his supporters invested so much of their personal sense of self worth in supporting him, they can’t admit that to themselves much less publicly.

        America really wasn’t ready for a black President. And that is not because the evil Republicans and Libertarians were just too racist. No, it is because liberals were not ready. Liberals are incapable of judging a black President honestly or holding him accountable for any abuse, no matter how serious or blatant. The liberals would have Johnsonized a white President who tried the things Obama has done. But since Obama is black, they just couldn’t bring themselves to stand up to him.

        1. Private corporations take customer reviews, focus groups, etc. into consideration and change what’s not working.

          Politicians just attack the messenger and reiterate how perfect they are and they don’t need no stinkin feedback.

          1. Some politicians do that. But the smarter ones who have to win elections in anything but safe states or districts don’t.

            You can do that and win if you are in a safe district or it is 2008 and a wave year for your side. You can’t do it otherwise.

          2. Private corporations take customer reviews, focus groups, etc. into consideration and change what’s not working.

            Most good corporations do, but that’s what’s good about corporations – those that don’t pay attention to their clients go out of business.

            Not so with government monopolies…

        2. America really wasn’t ready for a black President. And that is not because the evil Republicans and Libertarians were just too racist. No, it is because liberals were not ready. Liberals are incapable of judging a black President honestly or holding him accountable for any abuse, no matter how serious or blatant. The liberals would have Johnsonized a white President who tried the things Obama has done. But since Obama is black, they just couldn’t bring themselves to stand up to him.


        3. But since Obama is black, they just couldn’t bring themselves to stand up to him.

          It doesn’t help matters that they’ve spent the last 6+ years accusing anyone critical of Obama of racism, so now they’ve put themselves in a corner. They can’t say anything critical for fear of being accused of being racists.

          1. Exactly that Loki. They have totally screwed themselves.

    4. He’s also gone after the “climate change” nonsense with actual numbers. They hate him for that, too.

  43. Speaking of the Obamacare…

    The other night, I was talking to a friend who, despite never having gone to college (“That’s a JOKE, Son.”) is an extremely smart guy. He was telling me about spending multiple frustrating days attempting to navigate the Montana health insurance website; he eventually found his way to some sort of heavily subsidized policy option. I can’t recall the numbers, but he said, “How can the government afford to do that?”

    Well, they can’t.

    One of these days, they will be forced to admit it.

  44. Kids take advantage of free money!

    “California college borrower numbers soar”
    “The number of California undergraduates taking out federal loans to pay for college has soared by 75 percent in the past decade,”

    (yes, I know it’s not free yet, but those kids can read the signs as well as I can; the Ds are gonna forgive repayment within the next two election cycles. And if they don’t, moonbeam and the CA Ds will offer freebies to make it up)

  45. Ok, prediction time. The actual NSA legislation will do nothing to curb the abuses, will legalize more data collection than is currently allowed, will give more loopholes (no bulk collection for national security. fine, how about bulk collection for criminal investigations or amber alerts or lost puppy dogs?), and grant immunity to everyone involved in the current surveillance. Except for Snowden, of course.

    Also, increased penalties for future Snowdens.

    1. That is a pretty good bet. It will make a few things that they were not doing anyway “illegal” in the name of reform at the price of putting into statute all of the abuses the bill claims to stop.

    2. But the point is that Chocolate Nixon *does* something and can tell the American people what a hero that makes him.

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