Buy Dildos on the Taxpayer Dime in Louisiana

Gerard Stolk/Flickr

Well, this is mildly outrageous: In Louisiana, it's totally cool to buy lingerie and other sexy-time stuff with Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) cards. Looks like it's edible underwear and jelly-bean flavored lube for dinner again tonight, kids!

Actually, though they're most associated with food stamps, EBT cards serve as a repository for a host of state and federal assistance mechanisms, including cash benefits from the federal government which can be used relatively open-endedly. The only things prohibited from purchase with these benefits are alcohol, tobacco, lottery tickets, and adult entertainment (including casino games). According to Gonzales, Louisiana, TV station WAFB, local store Kiss My Lingerie has been accepting EBT cards as payment for about eight months now.

KissMyLingerie.com

I hate to be one of those people who makes a huge deal at any hint of benefit abuse, so let's acknowledge that we don't know how many (if any) people have used federal benefits at Kiss My Lingerie. And undergarments in general are a pretty basic necessity, so not beyond the pale as an EBT purchase per se. 

But you can sure buy your bras cheaper at Target than at a lingerie shop. And from the looks of things, the kinds of items Kiss My Lingerie sells are pretty far from basic undergarments. EBT benefits could also be used there to purchase "toys and novelties." 

UPDATE: I reached out to the owner of Kiss My Lingerie earlier today to ask whether people were actually using EBT cards at her store and, if so, approximately how many. She just wrote me back, and here's her response: 

zero so far. 

Looks like low-income Louisianans prefer food to sex toys, after all. 

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

So are government dildos a war on religion or a war on men?

[Tonio]

Why not both?

Now, for real outrage find that someone in the Bible Belt has purchased a religious-themed sex toy (yes they do, no I don’t know) using their EBT card.

[Tim]

I really get tired of these faux outrage stories. If poor people want to waste their money, well , that’s something they have in common with middle class and wealthy people.

[Sudden]

If poor people want to waste their money

That word. I don’t think it means what you think it means…

[R C Dean]

Well, it becomes theirs, you see.

[Zeb]

Taxation for transfer payments is wrong. But it’s still not your money anymore after they take it from you.

I got no problem calling it “their money”. Calling government benefits “free”, on the other hand…

[Brett L]

Fuck it. If we’re going to give money to people who as a class make poor decisions with money, I say we just let them make bad decisions with it. Otherwise, go back to handing out government cheese every week.

[Zeb]

Yeah. I don’t like big transfer programs. But I like government meddling in people’s lives and social engineering even less.

[Tim]

What he said.

[Spartacus]

Every time I think about the idea of imposing restrictions, it seems to me the cost of monitoring and enforcing would be more than the money saved. People using govt EBT cards mostly do not have happy lives; let em strap one on once in a while.

[The DerpRider]

/golf clap.

[R C Dean]

the cost of monitoring and enforcing would be more than the money saved

That’s OK. Its not about saving money. Its about micromanaging people, and if doing so requires adding to the pubsec rolls, why, that’s just the cherry on top.

[Almanian!]

Government dildoes just help recipients know what it feels like to get fucked in the ass by the government. In case they don’t already.

[Tim]

This one is called “The Iron Patriot”.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

“So are government dildos a war on religion or a war on men?”

Neither, “government dildos” is a cool name for a rock band.

[Sevo]

Forget the dildo; can I get a hooker?

[Warty]

Boobs! I like boobs! How did you know?

[Episiarch]

We get it, you’re getting ready for your sex change operation. You’ve told us about 100 times.

[Neoliberal Kochtopus]

I had to gank a “Sex with Animals” joke from you in the Morning Links. I apologize.

[AlmightyJB]

If he was talking about sex with animals. Rest assured, he wasn’t joking.

[Episiarch]

Calm down, Hitler. You think Ron Howard just wished Willow was great? No, and yet it was.

[Neoliberal Kochtopus]

That’s why I want to get married, so I can get one of them big rings. You know, the man gets it now.

[Tim]

Well, on the tour, the film said they used frog DNA to fill in the gene sequence gaps. They mutated the Warty genetic code and blended it with that of a frog’s. Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female …

[Sudden]

I have it on good authority that Joseph Smith fucked a frog*

*Book of Mormon reference

[Joshua]

Was that before or after he got maggots in his scrotum?

[UnCivilServant]

It wasn’t frog DNA, that was incompatable with the alien base pairs. We had to use samples from an Eldritch Abomination to produce anything viable.

What? I didn’t always work at SoNAR.

[Zeb]

sex change operation

From what to what?

[Warty]

Also, Dickbag.

[Episiarch]

The proper DICK TOWEL.

[Warty]

False advertising on the girl dick towel. There’s no dick at all.

[Episiarch]

It’s a catch-all phrase.

I bought one the DICK TOWEL hats. It looks fucking ridiculous. I love it.

[Kaptious Kristen]

We gotta hipster ovah heah!

[110 Lean]

I post a video of a girl, fully clothed, having an orgasm off of some huge subwoofers in a car and Reason pulls it off in about a minute. But this dick towel shit is okay I guess.

[Steve G]

Linked on drudge in 3…2…1….

[AlmightyJB]

I think they should change the law so that you can ONLY buy sexy lingerie and sex toys with ebt. You want food. Get a job.

[JW]

We’ll call it the EDT card.

[Bobarian]

You want food? Use the lingerie and sell that ass.

[110 Lean]

+1 john

[AlmightyJB]

So jelly bean huh, Elizabeth?

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

I was trying to think of what the kids would like.

[AlmightyJB]

Sure:) lol

[Doctor Whom]

Some Southern states have tried to ban sex toys, while others let you buy them on the taxpayers’ dime. Has anyone thought about letting people do as they please, but with their own money? I guess that’s just Randroid, loonytarian silly talk.

[Tim]

The South better get with the program before we have to send the Army down there. Again.

[Almanian!]

They never learn. Guess they need ANOTHER beating.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Northerners have gotten a tad wussier since the 1860s.

[110 Lean]

I always wondered about the Charlie Daniels song where he sings,”Be proud you’re a rebel, the south’s gonna do it again.” When did they do it the first time?

[jay_dubya]

i think it was when they seceded from the federal government. instead of, yknow, bitching about it on the internet. thats cool too, though, yank.

[Zeb]

If I recall correctly, Louisiana was until fairly recently one of the states which banned sex toys. Or maybe it was just vibrators.

[Brett L]

Louisiana is in some ways the most civilized of states. For instance, you can buy liquor at the gas station.

[Max Power]

And then legally drink the liquor in the parking lot of the gas station.

[110 Lean]

Until a few years ago, you could drink while driving there.

[Spartacus]

When I was a student in Gainesville, some of the bars in Levy county had drive-through windows. The downside is that you’re in Levy county.

[Brett L]

I work in Crawfordville, just south of Tallahassee. There is a drive-thru liquor store with an attached lounge just across the street.

[Elizabeth Nolan Brown]

Ohio is full of drive-thru beer & wine shops.

[Ayn Random Variation]

Speaking of subsidies, cronyism and Lefties, today on NPR there was a segment on Tesla, and, shockingly, there was no mention of subsidizes or low interest Gov’t loans. The guy pimping Tesla had the balls to state that Libertarians and Chris Christie should hold this company up as a shining example of the free market at work.

(Christie was brought up because the conversation was in the context of Jersey’s attempts to prevent Tesla from selling directly to the public rather than through dealerships.)

[Some call me Tim?]

I would love to end the stranglehold that Auto Dealer associations have on state legislatures, but Tesla hardly qualifies as the flag bearer for such an operation.

[Brandon]

Yeah, the Tesla/Jersey slapfight is tough for a libertarian to take sides in. They both suck pretty bad.

[UnCivilServant]

Since I’m no libertarian, I’ll accept a Tesla win to put a crack in the armor of the dealership stranglehold. Why can’t I customize my choice of car online and have the manufacturer drop it off at my home? In the category of (legal) things I can’t buy online for home delivery, so far I’ve found just two, guns and cars (I’m only counting things that can be delivered.) Even my local grocery store has online ordering and delivery these days.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Last night The Daily Show tacked the billions Medicare spends on penis pumps and ED pills while conservatives want to block birth control pills for women in health coverage.

COMMUNISM!

[R C Dean]

All lifestyle drugs, whether boner pills or birth control, should be not covered by Medicare.

Now, if the Medicare program that has been under the control of Democrats for some time now (its run by Sebelius, you know) is discriminating against women, then I suggest you contact your local DNC apparatchik.

[Palin's Buttplug]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..53902.html

HuffPo linked to the story today. The comments are sure to amuse some conservatives here.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

“penis pumps and ED pills”

Only men could possibly benefit from such things!

Seriously, that seems to be the feminist line – are they *trying* to reinforce the lesbian stereotype?

[Zeb]

Well, all straight sex is rape, so obviously those things could only benefit men. Or fags.

[SIV]

In Louisiana you can use the SNAP benefits on an EBT card at restaurants.

[Some call me Tim?]

So?

[SIV]

You can’t in most states.

[UnCivilServant]

So?

[Tim]

This is another example of the government gathering data it probably shouldn’t. Spying on sexual kinks of citizens who need help and then making it public.
I mean, if Senators are buying dildos with their paychecks, we won’t be seeing any government data on it.

[Neoliberal Kochtopus]

You need to know your audience a little bit better. Let me get out the world’s smallest violin for the “needy’ who use taxpayer dollars for sex toys. No, really, hold on, I think there’s a tear coming…

[Zeb]

The article did say that they don’t know how much, if any, EBT card money has been used for sex toys or fancy pants. So I think you are worried about a lot of nothing.

[SIV]

I wouldn’t be surprised if you can use an EBT anywhere that takes debit cards.
This is only a story because people don’t like the sex toy/lingerie store doing so.

[110 Lean]

Wow! A bag of dicks!

[SugarFree]

I wonder if the bag is edible.

[Eggs Benedict Cumberbund]

The tax payer is getting fucked.

[Invisible Finger]

Did you know if you turn your underwear inside-out you can wear it another five days?

[Brett L]

Like Queen Victoria I change mine once a year whether it needs it or not.

[paft]

Not that it makes a difference to either Reason or its readers, but the premise of this post is completely false. You cannot buy sex toys with foodstamps.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Please, point to the part in the post where it says foodstamps can be used for sex toys.

Oh, you mean this part?:

though they’re most associated with food stamps, EBT cards serve as a repository for a host of state and federal assistance mechanisms, including cash benefits from the federal government which can be used relatively open-endedly.

Yeah. Go fuck yourself.