Immigration

Donald Trump: Immigrants Are 'Taking Your Jobs and You Better Be Careful'

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Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia

One of the beautiful things about Donald Trump as a political speaker is that he's blissfully unburdened by professionalism or tact or any of the other constraints non-billionaire advocates face. This was made abundantly clear during Trump's speech at the 2014 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) today. Trump jumped from conservative red meat topic to conservative red meat topic, touching on the national debt, Obamacare, Democrats' "weak" leadership, and entitlement reform in a matter of minutes. But his strongest approbation seemed reserved for advocates of immigration reform. 

"You either have a country or you don't; you have borders or you don't. If we don't have a border, what are we — just a nothing?"

Trump went on to talk about how not one of the "11 million that will grow to 30 million" would ever, ever vote for a Republican. He then added offhandedly:

"They're taking your jobs and you better be careful."

Well, okay. Tell us how you really feel, Donald, darling… For a more libertarian solution to immigration reform, check out Ed Krayewski's latest. Trump and his ilk may never be convinced, but incremental, libertarian-minded immigration reform could appeal to both liberals and conservatives more interested in human rights and economic realities than pinning our unemployment problems on those meddling immigrants. 

For the record, Trump also thinks Jimmy Carter is dead. 

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  1. Is Donald the thing on top of the head or the face underneath that being?

    1. It’s the black thing coiled around his heart.

      1. I think that’s just the root system from the toupee symbiant

        1. Now that how you SCIENCE!

          1. But unfortunately, it’s not how you grammar.

            1. I’m a goddamn piteous cripple. Leave me alone.

              1. When I have you up against the ropes? Hell no.

                (grabs shattered and reconstructed heel)

                Oh shit! My cripple!

                1. I’ll think of you when I get my MRI tomorrow. One day we will cripple together and limp the whole world to its doom.

  2. Performance Art?

  3. I mean, I work with a Korean and some dude with an accent and a Spanish first name and a German last name, but I don’t think they be takin’ my jerb. For one thing, my job doesn’t pay enough.

    1. some dude with an accent and a Spanish first name and a German last name

      One of them White Hispanics, then? I heard they don’t count.

        1. Squirrels got your tongue?

        2. What he said

          1. I guess Wasteland Wanderer was correct: I’m a White Hispanic and I don’t count. 🙁

            1. You’re White Hispanic to about the same degree as James Roday from Psych.

              1. But not as dreamy…sorry, Serious.

                1. But not as dreamy…sorry, Serious.

                  I have watched several seasons of Psych, and enjoy it, and would not have guessed this. I even watched it with my sister. But, that shows what I know. Which is, basically, that Maggie Lawson is a cutie. See, I stick to my area of expertise.

                  1. would not have guessed this

                    My tastes skew average and a little quirky, so I may be alone on this.

                    Maggie Lawson is a cutie.

              2. I would never Anglicize my name though. And my youngest sister, for some reason, is the only one that got my dad’s brown skin.

                The rest of us are just white to varying degrees of tan.

                1. Well, it could be worse; you could be a White Hipster.

                2. I think the guy I work with could possibly be a “Boy From Brazil” genetically, knowudimean?

      1. Salma Hayek? Wait that’s not German.

  4. Another brilliant idea from the Stupid Party: let a guy who has absolutely zero incentive to avoid saying idiotic shit that makes you look bad by association speak

    1. That’s why I didn’t let you speak above.

      1. STOP OPPRESSING ME

        1. TYRANNY OF LIBERTY etc.

    2. Rob Ford probably wasn’t available.

  5. “You either have a country or you don’t; you have borders or you don’t. If we don’t have a border, what are we ? just a nothing?”

    Wait a minute, is The Donald just trying to get a head start on “dumbest shit said in 2014?”

    1. I don’t think he tries all that hard; he’s got the market on dumb shit cornered before he even rolls out of bed in the morning.

  6. Donald Trump Mentions The ‘Late, Great’ Jimmy Carter During CPAC Speech

    Oh, I see, he’s just wrong about everything. Yeah, lets listen to that guy!

  7. “You either have a country or you don’t; you have borders or you don’t. If we don’t have a border, what are we ? just a nothing?”

    Can we actually do this? Because I would vote for that.

    1. I’m with Hugh, you. Wait, reverse that.

      1. .uoy ,hguH htiw m’I

        1. For the time a double-take lasts, I thought that was code.

  8. They are “taking our jobs”.

    And, and, we have to be careful.

    1. Um…

      That was truly breathtaking in its… er… suchness.

  9. I believe a nation must have borders but this “they’re gonna take yer jerbs” shit is just old. No, they’re not. Most of them are low-skilled folks and, frankly, I admire their willingness to take a huge risk in order to make money for their families. But there is an attendant cost to the rest of us. Yes, I realize this is heresy to some here. We’ll survive.

    1. A nation, or at least this one, is about ideals. The great magic of the US is that anyone who agrees to the principles can be one of us. Unfortunately, we don’t test that well even with native born folks, so we also have a welfare state run amok.

  10. Trump. You’re fired!

  11. Trump should rub his nipples after each time he makes a comment.

    1. I know I do.

  12. States have borders too, does that mean Texans can’t go to Montana because they might get jobs up there?

    1. Clearly the way to maximize prosperity in our society is to ban all trade and require people to only use things they make or grow for themselves. When we’re all subsistence farmers again, it will be impossible for someone to take our job.

      1. And impossible for anyone to want to!

  13. But are immigrants taking our hairpieces?

    1. Obviously NOT!

  14. ENB, alt-text for Trump pictures are mandatory. Obviously MW forgot to include that in his training manual.

    1. Or is mandatory. There goes the proofreader gig.

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