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Federal Judge Rules Texas Same-Sex Marriage Ban Unconstitutional, Pro-Assad Forces Kill 175 Rebels in Ambush, Ukrainian Opposition Leader Nominated as Premier: P.M. Links

Matthew Feeney | 2.26.2014 4:30 PM

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Large image on homepages | Tech. Sgt. Fernando Serna/wikimedia
(Tech. Sgt. Fernando Serna/wikimedia)
Credit: SRA Greg L. Davis, USAF/wikimedia
  • A federal judge in Texas has ruled the state's ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.
  • Ukrainian opposition leader Arseniy Yatsenyuk has been nominated as the country's premier until presidential elections in May.
  • The Pentagon's plan retire the A-10 Thunderbolt, nicknamed the Warthog, is receiving pushback. 
  • Pro-Assad forces led by Hezbollah ambushed and killed 175 rebels outside of Damascus.
  • An appeals court has ruled that Google must remove the "Innocence of Muslims" video from Youtube after one of the actors featured in the film, which sparked protests around the world, claimed that she could copyright her performance.  
  • Ways and Means Chairman Rep. Dave Camp (R-Mich.) has unveiled a tax reform bill that would raise taxes on Wall Street banks.

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Matthew Feeney is a policy analyst at the Cato Institute.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The Pentagon's plan retire the A-10 Thunderbolt, nicknamed the Warthog, is receiving pushback.

    I'm beginning to suspect Congress sees national defense as a jobs program.

    1. db   11 years ago

      Tinfoil hat types ask.why the A10, a ground-attack plane, is primarily in.service.with state National Guard units.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        The A-10, which entered service in the 1970s, was designed to take out Soviet tanks.

        So it's perfectly capable of taking out "urban assault vehicles", if you catch my drift.

        1. Dances-with-Trolls   11 years ago

          Also capable of taking out alt-text as well.

        2. Gozer the Gozerian   11 years ago

          The EM-50's single weakness!

          Is that what happened to Ramis?

      2. Tonio   11 years ago

        They also ask who is stealthily replacing spaces with periods, and why. I kid, I kid...

      3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

        If they get rid of them, I want one.

        1. PD Scott   11 years ago

          I can find a place for one somewhere, I'm sure.

        2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          I certainly want one of the cannons. They produce enough thrust to counter the engines at full power.

          1. Timon 19   11 years ago

            No. Just...no.

            The cannon is a sight to behold (and a sound), but...no.

      4. Wasteland Wanderer   11 years ago

        Because the Air Force has been trying to kill it since day 1. It's a plane that has the sole purpose of supporting ground troops, and the fighter jockeys don't want anything to do with it.

        Giving it to the guard more or less gets it off their hands.

        Thing is, we don't have any other dedicated Close Air Support fixed wing aircraft in the inventory, and it's not a role you can really press fighter jets into. So every time the Air Force tries to kill it, the Army threatens to start building fixed wing aircraft again (or so I've heard) and the AF relents.

        I would not be surprised if that happens again.

        1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

          There are so many inaccuracies in that post that I don't know where to start.

          1. wareagle   11 years ago

            come on, man. You can't leave that hanging.

            1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

              Okay.

              1. While it's true the AF hated doing CAS and therefore the A-10 thirty years ago, it is no longer the case. After DS, the AF became quite enamored with the A-10. For the past 13 years, ALL the AF has done is CAS, perhaps to the point of letting other missions atrophy.

              2. They didn't give it to the Guard. There are still several active duty units.

              3. You no longer need a dedicated CAS platform. The advancement of precision munitions means ANY aircraft can now perform the mission, from altitude. Even the A-10s were capped above 15,000 ft in the last two wars. The gun was used VERY little. You know which platform performed most of the CAS in the last two wars? The B-1 dropped 70% of all the munitions expended in both wars war, flying only 10% of the sorties. And of those the VAST majority were CAS.

              WW's comment is dated, by at least 20 years. The A-10 is no longer survivable on the modern battlefield, it is slow as shit, and it's mission has been replaced by better weapons. It's a one trick pony that needs to go.

              JESUS, everyone here wants to cut military spending, yet they think it's smart to keep an old, vulnerable system that can only perform one mission as opposed to a platform that can perform CAS equally well AND does interdiction. Do people realize How much it costs to Keep and maintain an entire weapon system? Basing, training, maintenance, parts, munitions...

              1. politicsbyothermeans   11 years ago

                "Even the A-10s were capped above 15,000 ft in the last two wars."

                If you're going to tell someone they're wrong, at least be right. Not that my anecdotes of personally talking A-10 drivers onto targets well below 5,000ft are going to change your opinion so you can instead use google/youtube to find plenty of evidence that directly refutes your assertion concerning a 15,000ft cap.

                %of munitions dropped is a silly metric for determining which platform did the most CAS, especially since a B-1's payload is over nine times that of the A-10. Again, anecdotal, but across three tours in Iraq and three tours in Afghanistan, most with SOF, I have seen one B-1 dropping ordinance once and that could only loosely be thought of as CAS. On the other hand, I've been on almost no missions where we didn't have A-10s on station and available.

                How, pray tell, is the A-10 no longer survivable on the "modern" battlefield?

                Some of the opinions you render as fact are at least defensible. Many of your facts, on the other hand, are not. I don't know you so perhaps your opinions are based on personal experience but, if the above is stuff you read somewhere, you need to tighten up your resources.

    2. Gozer the Gozerian   11 years ago

      So, how much longer 'til my Desert Storm trading cards are quaint, obsolete, and/or collectors' items?

      1. PD Scott   11 years ago

        Given how many packs in existence there are, about another 2-3 generations of mothers/S.O.s getting rid of "clutter". It's not clutter, it's *ephemera*, dammit!

    3. Injun as in from India   11 years ago

      We are all Military Keynesians now.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Hello. Just checking. Off to my daughter's portfolio night.

      See how dedicated I am to you all?

      SEE?

      Ciao.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Wait, Rufus! Are they serving poutine at the exhibit?

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          No fricken poutine!

    5. Brett L   11 years ago

      The Army guys love it, the Air Force hates it... Hey guys, I have an idea!

      1. PD Scott   11 years ago

        The Key West Agreement says not so fast.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Oh, I know. No fixed wing aircraft for the Army is the de facto separation. But agreements that made sense in a different time can be unmade now. Or fuck, give 'em to the Marines, who are not so bound. Although I'm sure that will violate some other interservice rule leading back to WWII.

          1. Root Boy   11 years ago

            I think there was an aborted agreement for the Army to trade air defense (Patriots) to the AF for CAS, but may be just a rumor.

            Still, it would be a good solution since the AF has been trying to dump A10s for decades. Of course the Army (though funded for 100s of billions) is out of extra cash and is probably going to retire all its scout helos - so their commitment to CAS is dropping as well.

    6. Overt   11 years ago

      Keep in mind, the pushback is from people who are angry that the A-10 is being cut to make budget for the F-35.

      The F-35 is the jobs program. The A-10 is a capable but aging platform that merely costs maintenance.

      I agree that the A-10 shouldn't be cut. It is a better ground support vehicle than the F-35 ever will be in the types of wars we can expect in the future. And it is cheaper.

      1. Francisco d Anconia   11 years ago

        It is a better ground support vehicle than the F-35 ever will be in the types of wars we can expect in the future.

        No, it is not.

        1. politicsbyothermeans   11 years ago

          *Citation needed.

        2. dinkster   11 years ago

          All the retired brass I've talked to basically says the same thing. F35 is a joke and the a-10 can't be replaced.

    7. TheZeitgeist   11 years ago

      A-10's plink Sand People cheaper and better than anything else in the US inventory. F-22's are the world's best fighter plane to shoot down any other airframe, and the only reliable platform for liquidating modern SAM's like the S400.

      But after killing off the A-10 and F-22, but keeping (someday) the very mediocre F-35, we will have a ruinously expensive way to plink Sand People while getting shot down by Sukhois and S400's in a real air war.

      Obama's Air Force inventory management is completely stupid.

      1. Timon 19   11 years ago

        Wait, so the F-35, which has a better variety of weapons and radar and sensors than just about anything available is going to get shot down by Flankers?

        Doubtful.

  2. Injun as in from India   11 years ago

    Which one of you sons of bitches drives a late-model sedan (possibly Volvo), has Ron Paul 2012 and Reason.com bumper stickers, and shops at the Wegman's in Ithaca, NY? I saw your car there last fall. Corning?

    1. Corning   11 years ago

      Corning?

      What?

      I live in Washington State and hate bumper stickers and drive a crappy Ford Ranger and have not been to NY for about 6 years and have only ever visited NY city.

      1. Injun as in from India   11 years ago

        Okay, my bad. I thought you were from Corning, NY which is not too far from Ithaca.

        1. Corning   11 years ago

          yeah I am not sure how that all works.

          I got my last name from some dude who came from Minnesota to Washington in the early 1900s.

          There is a Corning California as well.

          1. Pelosi's Rabbit   11 years ago

            I just figured you liked the cookware.

      2. Corning   11 years ago

        And I shop at Walmart...

        ...or sometimes Fred Meyer.

    2. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      There were a refreshing number of libertarians in the the engineering departments while I was at Cornell. But bumper stickers suck.

      1. Injun as in from India   11 years ago

        Wow. That is indeed refreshing to hear. Ithaca is like a leftist's leftist city.

        1. Pseudonymous   11 years ago

          I forgive all sins for the Wegman's.

        2. BigT   11 years ago

          Athene was anti-war hippie 'Dick Nixon B4 he dicks you' central when I was there.

          If you had said it had a "F The President" sticker I might know the guy.

    3. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

      That's a bait car from a joint effort with the state police and the FBI. Everyone knows libertarians are rich and have trunks full of gold coins and precious jewels, so it will attract thieves. It will also attract tea partiers and other terrorists. Stay away!

      1. Rhywun   11 years ago

        If just one orphan can be rescued from the mines, it will all be worth it.

    4. Rhywun   11 years ago

      My brother is libertarianish and used to live in Ithaca. But that was years ago.

  3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    A federal judge in Texas has ruled the state's ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional.

    Only two things come out of Texas...

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      All topper and no cake? All tuxedo and no gown? All ass and no Tex? We need a new Lone Star saying for this.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        "Don't Mrs. with Texas"

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      +1 MGS Hartmann

    3. Almanian!   11 years ago

      Toyota Tundras and Chevy Suburbans?

    4. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Only two things come out of Texas

      Smokin' hot coeds, and . . . well, who cares what else.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        Amen, brother.

      2. PD Scott   11 years ago

        Pace Picante Sauce?

        1. PD Scott   11 years ago

          The many fine beers of the Spoetzl Brewery?

        2. Brett L   11 years ago

          New York City.

          I shit you not. They got bought by a NYC-based company.

          1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

            That was part of the La Victoria commercial years ago.

          2. JW   11 years ago

            NEW YORK CITY!?

      3. Pelosi's Rabbit   11 years ago

        Smoked brisket?

        1. Root Boy   11 years ago

          With Elgin sausages.

  4. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Pro-Assad forces led by Hezbollah ambushed and killed 175 rebels outside of Damascus.

    If only the US had armed or bombed or somethinged somebody.

    1. db   11 years ago

      Someday one of.our drones attacking one group of insurgents is going to accidentally shoot down a cargo.plane delivering weapons to another group of.insurgents.

  5. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    It's a great day for hockey!

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Badger Bob Johnson.

  6. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Coffee snobs are the worst.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      What the fuck is that guy?

    2. Brett L   11 years ago

      Fuck you, I used to roast my own and appreciate the difference between really fresh, good coffee and Keurig more than most beer snobs appreciate the difference between Natty Light and Lagunitas.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        I still roast my own. Maybe marginally cheaper, but its easy and mostly you get far, far better beans to work with. Plus, if you want beans that aren't a couple of BTUs away from charcoal, its the way to go.

        Sweet Maria's is my source.

        1. Brett L   11 years ago

          Burman Coffee, but I like to taste different beans.

      2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

        What do 7-11 and McDonalds use? I find their coffee to be adequate and priced to my liking.

        1. GILMORE   11 years ago

          Its a mix of caramel, meth, and floor polish. Unless you order Hazelnut. You don't want to know what that is.

      3. Brandon   11 years ago

        I like tea.

      4. What's that smell?   11 years ago

        Lagunitas sucks!!!

    3. Corning   11 years ago

      I cold brew Folgers and happily make all the coffee snobs cringe at the thought.

      1. 110 Lean   11 years ago

        I cold brewed years ago. It basically made coffee extract. But these days, Turkish.

    4. JW   11 years ago

      what's funny about this is that there is a boutique coffee shop not too far from where I work. I went in there last year to check it out.

      The owner waited on me and treated me to a long story, while my cup brewed, of how all the coffee is roasted on site and all the different types of roasts, the temperature of the water, the filtering media, all of it. It was impressive to see his passion.

      His coffee sucked.

    5. mr simple   11 years ago

      60 grams of coffee to a liter of water? Where the fuck is this guy brewing coffee?

  7. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Ukrainian opposition leader Arseniy Yatsenyuk has been nominated as the country's premier until presidential elections in May.

    I look forward to him being run out of the Ukraine in a few months.

    1. flye   11 years ago

      Colbert: Ukraine is U-kray-kray.

  8. Warty   11 years ago

    DU BUST SUPERGEIL

    1. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

      DU BIST SUPERGEIL

      1. Warty   11 years ago

        Shit. Yes. I know better than that.

        1. Root Boy   11 years ago

          Dammit. I thought it was going to be about a busty German chick playing supergirl.

          Instead I got grandpa singing about milk -- and no pregnant chicks either.

    2. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

      Leider Geil

  9. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    An appeals court has ruled that Google must remove the "Innocence of Muslims" video from Youtube after one of the actors featured in the film, which sparked protests around the world, claimed that she could copyright her performance.

    CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW*...ABRIDGING THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH

    *unless said speech infuriates a bunch of goat-fucking primitards half way around the world

    1. PD Scott   11 years ago

      I don't think I've ever heard of an actor "copyrighting" their performance. Is that a real thing?

      1. Paul.   11 years ago

        No, the appeals court is ruling based on the outrage of a constituency, not any law.

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      It sounds like a contract/copyright thing to me. Although I'm sure there are many people who find this outcome...convenient.

      I do have sympathy for the actress since she's receiving death threats and was deceived about the nature of the film.

    3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      I dont think that is what it is about.

      Nakoula tricked the actors into appearing in the film and dubbed in anti-islamic rhetoric without their knowledge. If this actress is suing I imagine it is because she does not want to be associated with the film. It is understandable.

      The real villian here sits in the whitehouse. If not for his bullshit No one would have heard of this movie.

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        Yeah, should have RTFA. But I'd like to read the dissenting judge's opinion on that panel.

  10. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Fail: Texas GOP Candidate Accidentally Endorses Gay Marriage On Twitter

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      He hates breeders and lesbians.

      1. Rhywun   11 years ago

        But check out that pedo-smile!

    2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      This is the kind of moron we have running against Dewhurst, a man everybody seems to hate but who will inevitably win.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        Texas really has become a tallest midget state. Thank God they planned for just such a thing when writing their Constitution.

  11. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    An appeals court has ruled that Google must remove the "Innocence of Muslims" video from Youtube after one of the actors featured in the film, which sparked protests around the world, claimed that she could copyright her performance.

    What difference at this point does it make?

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      Well, somebody might storm the embassy in protest of the removal.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Google has an embassy?

        1. Dances-with-Trolls   11 years ago

          My dream of living in the world of Shadowrun draws nearer.

          1. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

            Um... as a Chicagoan, I sincerely hope not.

          2. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

            Samurai, Decker, or Shaman?

            1. Rasilio   11 years ago

              Phys Ad

        2. Rich   11 years ago

          Pretty sure they have several.

          (Read about 'em on the Internet.)

  12. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    Alt-text is always constitutional.

  13. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Biebs behind bars.

    1. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      The video shows Bieber, in a black-hooded sweatshirt, wobbling a bit as he walks a white line inside a detention area of Miami Beach police

      Looks pretty damn sober actually (which turned out to be the case).

    2. 110 Lean   11 years ago

      Self-parody at its best.

  14. Caleb Turberville   11 years ago

    Is Juche Communism in North Korea the world's last vestige of Stalinist/Maoist totalitarianism? A number of historical sources like to differentiate Juche from Communism, but I think it is merely the last remnant of what the modern Chinese Communist Party refers to as ultra-leftist Communism.

    1. paranoid android   11 years ago

      A number of historical sources like to differentiate Juche from Communism,

      Is there any basis from this besides trying to absolve Communism of the blame for what's happened to North Korea?

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        Nailed. It.

      2. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        Exactly. "It's not real Communism, and it would have worked if they'd only had the right Dear Leaders."

        1. Surly Chef   11 years ago

          Which they'd say about every Communist state that ever existed.

      3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        Well they did kinda layer some extra craziness on top of the commie.

        1. paranoid android   11 years ago

          Stalin and Mao also "layered some extra craziness" on top of their ideology, but that does not vindicate the underlying ideology which allowed each of these respective terrors to happen.

          I really don't buy the line that it's a noble ideal that has been corrupted by human wickedness (I'd guess you likely don't either, Nikki, so please don't think I'm imputing that belief to you). Whatever individual Communists and Marxists think that their aims actually are, it is not a coincidence that attempting to realize them has, every single time, resulted in mass starvation and mass murder.

          1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

            Yeah, of course. I just actually think NK is a little different basically for the reasons HM gives below.

    2. PD Scott   11 years ago

      Maybe apologists worry North Korea makes communism look bad, especially in comparison to free(ish)-market capitalism.

      1. PD Scott   11 years ago

        "In South Korea, each person consumes 10,162 kilowatt hours of power a year. North Koreans each use just 739."

        Look for watermelons to embrace Juche any day now...

        1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          It's an environmentalist's dream!

        2. Dr. Frankenstien   11 years ago

          Nobody needs more than 1200 calories.

    3. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      I disagree with that, CT. I would argue that Juche is actually a flavor of fascism. Defining fascism as a "nationalist socialism", of course. I would point to the strong belief in Korean supremacy (As described in the book The Cleanest Race), which is not necessarily a part of Juche, but it certainly drives the extreme autarky plank of Juche. Also, the songun, or military-first policy part of Juche is unorthodox from Communism as it is argued (but not practiced, however at least China and the Soviets placed "People's" in front of their militaries as a way of keeping up appearances); however, songun is classic fascist thought, which argues that the health of the state is directly correlated to its military's strength.

      Just my $0.02

      1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        Interesting points, HM. While I think you're actually correct, after a certain point, it becomes a distinction without a difference. NK is about as totalitarian as a country can be.

      2. R C Dean   11 years ago

        I would argue that Juche is actually a flavor of fascism.

        Communism is very closely related to fascism. You could probably make a decent argument that fascism is a flavor of communism.

        As for the strong belief in __________ supremacy, what do you think all those Russians had in mind when they were assembling their empire?

        And what do you think all those Red Army parades were about, if not an argument that the health of the state is directly correlated to its military's strengtH?

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          As for the strong belief in __________ supremacy, what do you think all those Russians had in mind when they were assembling their empire?

          And what do you think all those Red Army parades were about, if not an argument that the health of the state is directly correlated to its military's strengtH?

          I agree the difference is just rhetoric, basically. Ultra-leftist Chinese communism, if I remember correctly, holds to Trotskyist communist world revolution, which would inherently be against nationalism. That's why Maoist China made up all those propaganda posters of Asian, African, and Latin Americans beating up Uncle Sam together.Likewise, even during Stalin's "Fuck the Jews" stage, his solution was just to ship them all here to learn to be good Commies.

          On the other hand, North Korean propaganda, from after the war to today, teaches that the American Imperialists are just itching to unleash their Negro Apemen Rape Solider squads upon the populace, and it's only Kim and his brave soldiers protect from this Brown horde.

          All three countries are/were shitty to their minority populations; however China and the USSR still felt it necessary to keep up the "Workers of the World, unite!" front. Korea never did.

          1. PD Scott   11 years ago

            My impression was that the Russians were convinced that they were more special because they weren't nekulturny like, say, the more Asiatic members of the USSR.

            Didn't prevent them from letting a sociopathic Georgian from ruling them, of course.

          2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            "North Korean propaganda, from after the war to today, teaches that the American Imperialists are just itching to unleash their Negro Apemen Rape Solider squads upon the populace, and it's only Kim and his brave soldiers protect from this Brown horde."

            How did Rodman and his basketball players get in then?

  15. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Wine snobs are the worst.

    1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      HA HA HA! Natty Light with 1.5!

      Beautiful!

  16. SugarFree   11 years ago

    Pro-Assad forces led by Hezbollah ambushed and killed 175 rebels outside of Damascus.

    This going to work out GREAT!

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      *** wrings hands ***

      If only *someone*

      *** stares at President Obama ***

      would intervene!

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        The only way to win is not to play.

    2. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      They were ambushed on the road to damascus?

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        They saw the light. It was the bullet holes in their clothing.

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          I would have gone with muzzle flashes.

    3. Corning   11 years ago

      On NPR they said the rebels were backed by Al Qaeda.

  17. Pseudonymous   11 years ago

    Chess Grand Master Gary Kasparov hates Obama and Putin:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/n.....54971.html

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Did I mention I like Gary Kasparov?

      1. Lady Bertrum   11 years ago

        +1. No matter how hopeless, he keeps trying.

      2. JEP   11 years ago

        Garry Kasparov and Peter Thiel are apparently quite good friends.

    2. The Last American Hero   11 years ago

      So he's a member of Team Red?

    3. grrizzly   11 years ago

      A clash between Obama and Putin is like the Iran-Iraq war...

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        I thought it'd be more Prussia-France. Guess who plays the part of the paper tiger French?

  18. Matrix   11 years ago

    Connecticut to gun owners: Surrender your unregistered guns

    FREE gun owners to Connecticut: We'll give you the bullets first!

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      "Remove the weapon/magazine from the state"

      Sheesh, didn't the owners already do that by ignoring the registration?

    2. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

      "Oh pish-posh! Registration will NEVER be used to disarm law-abiding citizens! Only those felons and mentally ill people will be disarmed!"

      "Laws that conflict with a right protected by the US Constitution and incorporated against the states by the 14th Amendment are void, last I checked?"

    3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      Connecticut turns law abiding citizens into felons with the governors signature and is now threatening them.

      I dont see this turning out well.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Let's hope somebody very senior in law enforcement still has a couple of synapses to rub together and tells the Gov. not to plan on any enforcement from his boys.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        It has to happen sooner or later. Connecticut has a certain poetic/karmic ring to it.

  19. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

    The nearly 1,000-page plan unveiled by Ways and Means Chairman Dave Camp (R-Mich.) would pull back on the cherished deduction for home mortgage interest and embraces some ideas touted by Democrats, like scrapping the "carried interest" tax break used by hedge fund managers.

    1,000 pages? That does sound simple.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      With changes to tax breaks for mortgage interest, charitable contributions, and state and local taxes, Camp also says that around 95 percent of households would be able to use the standard deduction and avoid itemizing ? down from around seven in 10 right now. The deduction for state and local taxes ? which Camp outright eliminates ? is especially prized in Democratic states like New York and California.

      Why is it so hard to kill itemization?

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        "Any proposal that eliminates the deduction for state and local taxes, as the Republican plan would do, is dead on arrival," Schumer said in a statement.

        Oh. Nevermind.

        1. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

          Everyone has some kind of prized deduction they cherish. This may be on of the few cases where ripping the whole bandaid off at once is the only way to go politically, which is nice (not that it will ever happen anyways).

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            My favorite deduction is still the above the line deduction for educator expenses.

            $250? Get fucking crazy!

            1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

              Asskicker, are you a CPA? I might have a relatively simple question...

              1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                Yes. I hate my job.

                1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                  I don't mean to make you hate it here too, but quick question:

                  I'm thinking of moving out of CA in the next few years, and I'm looking at some pretty significant capital gains taxes if I sell my house.

                  This year, my HOA is looking at a $15K onetime special assessment per house to upgrade (not repair) the roofs. Can I include this $15K assessment in my basis when I sell?

                  1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                    You can. You are also allowed to exclude $250k (or 500k if you are married) on the sale of your personal residence.

                    1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                      The real estate market here is like a casino, so the 500k might not cover it in another year or two.

                      Do I just get a notarized statement from the HOA stating the purpose of the special assessment? I'm scared of being audited...

                    2. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                      Congratulations on the big gain and getting out of CA!

                      It doesn't really need to be notarized, just some sort of letter they sent or a bill showing the roof cost $15k.

                    3. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                      Even if you had kept nothing, I would think in the event of an audit the HOA would be able to provide something proving the roof needed replaced.

                    4. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                      But if it is a repair and not an improvement, I can't count it, right? I'm thinking of adding a few skylights just to make sure...

                    5. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                      Right, repairs do not ass to basis, but a new roof is generally going to be viewed as an improvement.

                    6. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                      Ha, add*

                  2. Warty   11 years ago

                    The coat of arms of the human race ought to consist of a man with an axe on his shoulder proceeding toward a grindstone. Or, it ought to represent the several members of the human race holding out the hat to each other. For we are all beggars.

                    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

                      Damn, that reminds me - I'm two Lapham books behind!

          2. R C Dean   11 years ago

            If there's one deduction that can be defended, its the one for state and local taxes.

            1. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

              I think the states that wish to have an income tax can handle that issue in their own tax code.

      2. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Because it lets people think they aren't being hollowed out like a gourd by taxes because they gathered up a few write-offs through the year. It's a psychological tactic, just like withholding and standard deductions.

        Single flat tax for all federal expenditures, no withholding, no deductions, no quarterly payments, due date for taxes is election day. Write that check and then go vote. Let's see what government is really worth to you.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          This.

        2. Sudden   11 years ago

          Brilliant. Apparently the diabetes hasn't metastasized yet.

        3. General Butt Naked   11 years ago

          Write that check and then go vote.

          I'm thinking that the candidate offering withholding, deductions and quarterly payments would win that election. Unless we're talking about a amendment.

      3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        The deduction for state and local taxes ? which Camp outright eliminates ? is especially prized in Democratic states like New York and California.

        And I wonder why that would be...

    2. Tonio   11 years ago

      Does any one person actually know what's in this bill?

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        There appears to be bipartisan support to not read it, and not support it.

      2. Almanian!   11 years ago

        We have to pass it to find out what's in it. Duh!

        1. Tonio   11 years ago

          Let's take the act on the road, Alma.

    3. paranoid android   11 years ago

      Do you think Dave Camp ever gets invited by the President on getaways to Camp David, just for the punning opportunities?

  20. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Houston Church Opts Not to Defect From Denomination
    ...Opponents of the switch argued for theological diversity. PCUSA does not require churches to ordain openly gay pastors if they choose not to. They bemoaned what they saw as inevitable fallout from the decision, and said that appealing to stricter evangelist views would only further isolate young members from the church.

    In particularly fiery testimony, one opposing member said she feared the switch would make her "a member of a congregation that distinguishes itself by its homophobia."...

  21. PH2050   11 years ago

    Hey guys, did Balko already post this nut punch?

    Oklahoma father dies in police encounter after mother slaps daughter

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      I think it was not Balko, but it got posted.

      1. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

        Cops beat man to death, then play Weekend at Bernie's with his corpse.

        See what happens when you don't own a dog? Cops bust their killer-nut on you.

  22. waffles   11 years ago

    Can anyone tell me a good reason not to move to Salt Lake City? I think I want to move to Utah. The SO is on board. I'm not mormon but it seems like the promised land.

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      Don't the alcohol laws blow?

    2. Protagoronus   11 years ago

      Great powder for skiing and they have been slowly pulling back on silly alcohol restrictions. Seems like it might be boring, but I cannot tell from vacationing.

    3. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

      Too salty.

    4. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      Cold weather sucks, IMO.

    5. Tonio   11 years ago

      Japanese tourists running amok? (see downthread)

    6. Pseudonymous   11 years ago

      Boring? No other real cities in the state? (Provo and St. George don't count)

    7. db   11 years ago

      I have been to SLC on.business a number.of.times and have stayed we3ks at a time there. I always liked it a bunch. There is at least one good microbrewery/brewpub in.town (Squatters). The weather.is.good and the landscape.is.amazing.

      I.don't know what it woyld be like to live there.but I'd sure give.it a try.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        I lived in Taos, NM and would have stayed if I had found a real job. I lived in Sacramento, CA too. SLC seems like it takes the suck out of both of those places.

        Normally when I ask here about places there is a litany of reasons why it's just awful. I'm only hearing mildly good. It also has a good shot at being one of the rare places where both the SO and I can have jobs we'll enjoy.

        I'm currently a migrant worker living in Pittsburgh. I'm ready for to play Oregon Trail - Brigham Young Edition.

        1. db   11 years ago

          Pittsburgh, eh? Same here.

          1. waffles   11 years ago

            I've said it before but it bears repeating. I love the place, but Pittsburgh is a black hole career-sucking vortex from which there has been no escape for me. I keep trying to leave, sometimes I succeed for a year, maybe two. No matter what it keeps sucking me back in. No escape. Not like I'm going to stop trying though.

            Pittsburgh is my Groundhog Day.

    8. waffles   11 years ago

      I don't think it's colder than the climes I'm used to. I'm an outdoor enthusiast (ski, hike, rock climb) and not a boozer. It seems like there isn't too much against Utah. It looks like Colorado without the Californians to me.

    9. flye   11 years ago

      Only a little over an hour to Evanston (WY), where they conveniently have all the guns, fireworks, adult literature, and liquor stores in one place for you.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        And these are things one may not procure in Utah?

        1. flye   11 years ago

          This was 10 years ago, but I knew people who lived in Evanston at the time and people coming there to shop from SLC was a common practice. I'm pretty sure you still can't get beer over 3% at convenience stores in Utah, and the State stores have less convenient hours.

    10. Restoras   11 years ago

      Salt Lake City is on my radar screen after my youngest graduates high school. NY sucks ass.

    11. Brandon   11 years ago

      SLC is awesome, especially if you can find a good weed guy who knows to do business at home and not at random meeting places.

    12. Wasteland Wanderer   11 years ago

      Just have a pentagram etched into your front door to repel missionaries, and you should be GTG.

    13. Bill Door   11 years ago

      Don't know whether you will see this, but I live a little outside of SLC. I am a Mormon, so don't know too much about the quality of alcohol and all that, but I can say it isn't a bad place to pick. Salt Lake itself has some insufferable liberals to deal with, but the State in general isn't terrible, and I think it is becoming a little more libertarian in a lot of ways. As for the missionaries bothering you (as someone mentioned), no one is really going to bother you much, especially if you let them know you aren't interested in a somewhat polite manner. Utah is a fairly decent place to live, all in all. For me, St. George in southern Utah is what I'd consider the promised land. Good weather most of the year, and, if you are in to winter sports, only 30-40 minutes away from that type of stuff. Just my two cents, as someone who lives here.

      1. waffles   11 years ago

        thanks Bill

  23. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    "Without a rational relation to a legitimate governmental purpose, state-imposed inequality can find no refuge in our United States Constitution," Garcia wrote. "These Texas laws deny plaintiffs access to the institution of marriage and its numerous rights, privileges, and responsibilities for the sole reason that Plaintiffs wish to be married to a person of the same sex."

    This demonstrates why it might be a bad law, but I fail to see what's unconstitutional about it. To even start to have a basis for that, he's also going to have to say it's unconstitutional to deny the rights, privileges, and responsibility of marriage to anyone based on who they want to be married to (even if that is 0 or 2+ people).

    1. PH2050   11 years ago

      Exactly. I've met a few people who support SSM but not polygamy. I can't help but wonder how widespread such an opinion is.

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        It's something of a cultural marker. Liberty-minded folks support both (SLD). Proggies support SSM, but not PM because of icky mormons.

        There is a case to be made that SSM is easier to institute because it's still a two-person contract, whereas PM is much more complicated.

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          I kind of doubt "its complicated" is sufficient grounds for limiting a Constitutional right. But, the bench fails to surprise.

    2. R C Dean   11 years ago

      These Texas laws deny plaintiffs access to the institution of marriage and its numerous rights, privileges, and responsibilities

      I look forward to this being quoted to overturn Texas' prohibition on polygamy. I don't see how this rationale stops at gay marriage and doesn't extend to plural marriage.

      1. flye   11 years ago

        I don't see how nearly every argument for SSM can't be extended to polygamy or incest.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          Hey, what is bestiality, chopped liver?

          1. R C Dean   11 years ago

            Uhh, Rich? I think yer doin' it wrong.

          2. flye   11 years ago

            If chopped liver is involved, you're doing it... right.

          3. Brandon   11 years ago

            Bestiality is fucking something that is not able to consent.

  24. paranoid android   11 years ago

    A number of historical sources like to differentiate Juche from Communism,

    Is there any basis from this besides trying to absolve Communism of the blame for what's happened to North Korea?

    1. paranoid android   11 years ago

      Derp, threading fail, sorry.

      1. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

        You should have tried to pass it off as a principled stand against threading.

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          EDIT BUTTON!

          1. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

            If God wanted us to backslide on our words, he would have provided us with an edit button.

  25. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    The Period Of No Global Warming Will Soon Be Longer Than the Period of Actual Global Warming
    If you look at the record of global temperature data, you will find that the late 20th Century period of global warming actually lasted about 20 years, from the late 1970s to the late 1990s. Before that, the globe was dominated by about 30 years of global cooling, giving rise in the 1970s to media discussions of the return of the Little Ice Age (circa 1450 to 1850), or worse.

    But the record of satellite measurements of global atmospheric temperatures now shows no warming for at least 17 years and 5 months, from September, 1996 to January, 2014, as shown on the accompanying graphic. That is surely 17 years and 6 months now, accounting for February.

    When the period of no global warming began, the alarmist global warming establishment responded that even several years of temperature data does not establish a climate trend. That takes much longer. But when the period of no global warming gets longer than the period of actual global warming, what is the climate trend then?...

    1. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

      Accompanying graphic not found.

    2. Matrix   11 years ago

      So, they blamed man for an impending ice age. Then they blamed man for global warming. Will we be blamed for climate stagnation?

      THE CLIMATE ISN'T CHANGING! STUPID CONSERVATIVES DON'T REALIZE HOW HORRIBLE THIS IS FOR THE ENVIRONMENT! BURN THE HERETICS!

    3. SugarFree   11 years ago

      It's in the deep ocean! You know, the same process that kept all that irradiated water from Japan away from California.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        "irradiated"

        Fuck. I had to explain to my wife, who for the most part does not give a shit about science, that you could drink directly from the source and see no statistically significant increase in your cancer risk. Much less diluted to 1 part per trillion.

    4. Sevo   11 years ago

      "But when the period of no global warming gets longer than the period of actual global warming, what is the climate trend then?..."

      The exact same as the trend in global overpopulation according to Ehrlich.
      That is, whatever a catastrophist claims it is.

    5. Tonio   11 years ago

      That's why they're rebranding it as Climate Change(tm).

      1. Matrix   11 years ago

        Gotta keep reinventing the same lie. They're like the medieval Church, which sold indulgences. But this time it's CARBON CREDITS!

        Only this time, they can't burn heretics... yet.

        1. Brandon   11 years ago

          They can never burn heretics. Heretics give off CO2 when they burn.

          1. Matrix   11 years ago

            Perhaps, but maybe the aroma of the burnt heretics will be a sweet savor for the environment, that it's wrath will be abated?

        2. anomdebus   11 years ago

          Compost the heretics!

          1. anomdebus   11 years ago

            wow, that might actually be a novel sentence.. (at least according to Google)

      2. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Hard to pass off flatlining temperatures as "Climate Change", though.

      3. Homple   11 years ago

        "Irritable Climate Syndrome" should cover all eventualities.

    6. Winston   11 years ago

      How many models and scientists predicted this trend?

      1. Winston   11 years ago

        How can we forget that Guardian article which stated that there is no direct proof of global warming to any climate event. So they prove that warming is happening or that it is causing bad weather and no one predicted anything accurately yet the science is settled?

    7. PD Scott   11 years ago

      September, 1996

      Clearly the Atlanta Olympic Games can be thanked for stopping global warming.

  26. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    New York Knicks player Raymond Felton arrested on multiple weapons charges

    Prosecutors are charging Felton with with two felony weapons possession charges after his estranged wife turned over to police an unregistered, Belgian-made semi-automatic pistol that was loaded with 18 rounds of ammunition. The weapon allegedly belongs to Felton.

    "As far as speaking on what's going on off the court with me, there will be no comment speaking on that," Felton said. "If you have any questions dealing with on that, speak with my lawyer."

    The NBA and the Knicks have not yet assessed any punishment to Felton, which is not uncommon during unresolved legal situations.

    "The bottom line is Ray is a part of our team," Knicks coach Mike Woodson said Wednesday, according to CBS New York. "And as his coach I'm going to support him and make sure he's doing everything the right way from here on out, and to try to get him to just concentrate on basketball and practice and playing games."

    His soon to be ex wife alleges he had pulled a gun on her multiple times before but only know decided to turn him in to the police. That doesn't sound right to me.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      Or her divorce lawyer told her to make up bullshit. Er, no, that's some sort of MRA myth or something.

    2. paranoid android   11 years ago

      I'm obviously missing something here. I can just walk into the police station with an illegal gun, claim, "Oh, it belongs to this guy I know" and that's enough to get the other guy arrested?

    3. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

      Officer, I have this kilo of cocaine that I swear, on my sacred honor, belongs to this guy that I hate and am trying to take half his shit in another litigation.

      Would be a mensch and go arrest him?

    4. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Its probably his, but I see absolutely zero evidence that its his. "Unregistered", remember?

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        It's his. He bought it legally in North Carolina but didn't register it when he moved to New York.

        1. R C Dean   11 years ago

          He bought it legally in North Carolina as a gift for his wife, right?

          1. Tejicano   11 years ago

            OK, so a straw man purchase.

            1. Wasteland Wanderer   11 years ago

              Firearms bought as gifts to non-prohibited persons don't count as straw purchases.

  27. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    With changes to tax breaks for mortgage interest, charitable contributions, and state and local taxes, Camp also says that around 95 percent of households would be able to use the standard deduction and avoid itemizing ? down from around seven in 10 right now. The deduction for state and local taxes ? which Camp outright eliminates ? is especially prized in Democratic states like New York and California.

    1040EZ for everyone!

    "How much did you make3 last year? Send us half."

    1. Brett L   11 years ago

      You gotta respect the Red State guys getting in that dig.

      "Oh, Illinois, California and New York fuck you by charging you income tax? Sucks to be you."

  28. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Everyone is freaking out about this new FDA approved pain pill

    A coalition of more than 40 health care, consumer and addiction treatment groups is urging the Food and Drug Administration to revoke approval of the prescription drug Zohydro.

    The hydrocodone-based drug is the latest in a long line of painkillers called opioid analgesics. The FDA approved the medication last fall to treat chronic pain, and it is set to become available to patients in March.

    "In the midst of a severe drug epidemic fueled by overprescribing of opioids, the very last thing the country needs is a new, dangerous, high-dose opioid," the coalition wrote in a letter to FDA Commissioner Dr. Margaret Hamburg.

    "Too many people have already become addicted to similar opioid medications, and too many lives have been lost."

    One addiction expert who signed the letter was more forthright.
    "It's a whopping dose of hydrocodone packed in an easy-to-crush capsule," said Dr. Andrew Kolodny, president of the advocacy group Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing. "It will kill people as soon as it's released."

    The letter is the latest in a series of entreaties to the FDA related to Zohydro.

    I'm no doctor, but what quality of life do people in severe chronic pain have that would be made worse by this pill?

    1. Tonio   11 years ago

      They might become addicted, GMSF, and we can't have that. It would set a bad example for the children, or something.

    2. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

      "People in severe chronic pain"? Sounds like some kind of euphemism for "drug addicts". And if not, well, they probably deserve it anyway. Proceed with the prosecutions!

    3. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Dr. Andrew Kolodny, president of the advocacy group Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing

      May you all experience everlasting, crippling pain.

      Go take a Tylenol and walk it off, you shitsucks.

      1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        ...Physicians for Responsible Opioid Prescribing...

        PROP? Of who, the DEA?

        1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          Also know as partitioners without BNDD numbers.

          1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

            *practitioners*

      2. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Shouldn't that just be "Physicians against Pain Medication"?

        Where's the "responsible prescribing" in a ban?

  29. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Japanese tourists lead Utah police on high-speed chase

    1. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      Amazing. They did not fill the car up with bulletholes.

    2. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

      These cops actually acted with restraint when faced with a situation they (somewhat justifiably) thought could be dangerous, then acted like human beings when they found out it was a misunderstanding.

      Sad that such a relatively low bar has been set, but at least they hurdled it.

    3. Brett L   11 years ago

      "You must obey the proper speed limits. The car is not a toy."

    4. SIV   11 years ago

      65-120km/H is not "high speed" on a rural Utah freeway.

    5. Tejicano   11 years ago

      Police cars in Japan often drive around with the lights on (the red flashing lights on top) - but without the siren running - just to make it known they are in the vicinity. But when they turn on the siren everybody knows you are supposed to pull over.

      I think this lady just freaked out and couldn't calm down.

  30. Jarl ? the booty   11 years ago

    Sen. Manchin demands complete US ban on Bitcoin

    Manchin, who is a member of the Senate banking committee, suggested in the letter -- titled "Manchin Demands Federal Regulators Ban Bitcoin" -- that a complete prohibition was appropriate because Thailand, China, and South Korea have already enacted severe restrictions or bans of their own.

    ...sounds legit.

    1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      Awesome. Nice of him to go on the record.

      And then throw in what would be necessary to *actually* do a ban.

      I love the way Bitcoin makes the statists line right up. Sort themselves. It's a great litmus test.

      1. robc   11 years ago

        I generally oppose litmus tests, but bitcoin works for me as one, because it aligns with so much else. If you want to ban bitcoin, I can safely not vote for you.

        Its an absolute.

    2. ~Knarf Yenrab~   11 years ago

      I'm unhappy with Tennessee's multi-generational, Clinton-esque infatuation with Lamar Alexander, but the good people of West Virginia have some explaining to do when it comes to their support for Manchin.

      And Byrd, for that matter.

  31. Pseudonymous   11 years ago

    Tax expert insists on sticking his dick in the marijuana

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....58405.html

  32. Rich   11 years ago

    Can giant walls protect the USA from tornadoes?

    Probably not. But if we build them a little further *south* ....

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Fuck that! To the North. Canada's polar vortex should stay in Canada!

      1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        Sugs . . .

        Where is a joint in town that has cider on tap. Does that Beer House (whatever it's called) across from Sayre (Limestone and 2nd) have cider? I don't do beer. I know Drake's has cider on tap, but the clientele can be insufferable.

        Let's hang.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          Drake's is about the only place that regularly has cider on tap. Pazzo's has a good selection in the bottle often, if you can stand the brahs.

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            Let's meet up at Drake's then. Sometime after 5.30 or 6 during the week.

    2. Duke Trshmnstr of Stench   11 years ago

      Oh the derp!

      1)A wall tall enough to prevent tornadoes is also tall enough to irrevocably change the climate, cutting off the gulf moisture that keeps the plains from becoming a massive desert.
      2) If we're gonna build a 1000 foot tall wall, I nominate that it go around California
      3) That tornado alley graph is crap. Tornado alley lines up a couple hundred miles further east, and stretches a little further north and south.
      4) Giant fucking walls in the middle of the US? Really? Really?

  33. Auric Demonocles   11 years ago

    Well hamilton, see you at the Happy Hour!

    1. hamilton   11 years ago

      On my way, see you there!

    2. Rasilio   11 years ago

      Wish I could go but my wife is working tonight and I gotta be home to make sure homework is completed.

      Not to mention more work on this groovy script I've been trying to complete for a week and a half

  34. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    I'm not shocked by todays Champions League results.
    /no spoilers

    1. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      Considering the participants, that's a spoiler.

  35. Sevo   11 years ago

    Slackers pissed that tech workers pay market rates for housing:

    "Tech workers, housing activists clash at happy hour"
    [...]
    "The "Tech Workers Against Displacement Happy Hour," led by a union organizer and a tech worker, had advertised itself as a place where tech workers "sick of being blamed for SF's housing crisis" could come together to find solutions."
    http://www.sfgate.com/technolo.....270076.php

    The slacker were hoping the techys would get pissed and the landlords, I guess. But they do find some hair-shirt types; enough to make you gag/

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      I love these stories. It reminds me every day why I chose not to live in San Fransisco.

    2. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

      Brian Hanlon, a 31-year-old Forest Service employee, told tech workers to leverage their companies' resources and encourage employers to "do the right thing."

      "If your firm is having trouble finding a great new acquisition target and they have tons of money sitting around, maybe you can encourage them to donate some of that to these (housing) nonprofits as well," he said.

      When you cut right to the core of their "arguments", the "activists" are all about extracting tribute.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        "When you cut right to the core of their "arguments", the "activists" are all about extracting tribute."

        That's what some of them are doing with rent control. The remainder, who didn't get one of the RC units, pay for them.

  36. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Can anyone tell me a good reason not to move to Salt Lake City?

    Too big (for me). Other than that, not really.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      Sounds like a rave review.

  37. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    In the AM links I brought up the weather in NYC and was told no one heard about bad tidings on the way. I just read 20 to 30 cm for Monday.

    Yeesh.

    But I think we're still gonna go.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      20 to 30 cm? Is that, like, a decagram or something.

      SPEAK ENGLISH (measurements), RUFUS!!

    2. Restoras   11 years ago

      Dude, really? NYC and its environs suck ass.

      Just. Don't.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Why? We love visiting NYC. It's years we go.

        Alamanian, I'll do better next time!

  38. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Inside a German mega brothel

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   11 years ago

      "Sorry, buddy, you may want Gretchen, but the Workers' Council gave Big Bertha here seniority."

      1. Tonio   11 years ago

        +1 D-engine bird.

      2. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

        That was a 2,300 year old joke, but it's a good one!

  39. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    You should have tried to pass it off as a principled stand against threading.

    That trick never works.

  40. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Spike Lee's goes on Anti-Gentrification Rant
    "You can't just come in the neighborhood and start bogarting and say, like you're motherfuckin' Columbus and kill off the Native Americans."

    1. PD Scott   11 years ago

      I agree, brutally murdering people to take over their neighborhoods is wrong. What's that? That's not what's happening?

      Oh.

      Maybe Spikey should go back to making movies then.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        "Maybe Spikey should go back to making movies then."

        Or maybe he should crawl in a hole and die.

      2. flye   11 years ago

        He's a Knicks fan, so the Felton news probably has him on edge. It's the kind of bad luck that could keep them out of the playoffs.

    2. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

      Damn straight. If you want to sell your house or rent your apartment, you should have to present the prospective new owners/renters before all the residents within a 3-block radius so everyone can vote on whether they're acceptable. That'll fix everything!

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Sounds to me like an excellent way to keep "those people" from ruining the neighborhood.

        I wonder if Spike's own self would have gotten a majority vote in his neighborhood.

      2. Sudden   11 years ago

        Restrictive covenants eh?

      3. ~Knarf Yenrab~   11 years ago

        Why do you want to disenfranchise the people who live four blocks away?

    3. Sevo   11 years ago

      Yep, got to keep those folks in 'authentic' poverty...

    4. JurisCani   11 years ago

      If we don't fight this we'll have all these beard-implanting hipsters moving in!!!!

  41. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    It's in the deep ocean! You know, the same process that kept all that irradiated water from Japan away from California.

    They call it "heavy water" for a reason, you know.

    Sheesh.

  42. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    Hey guys, Venezuela just needs more help!

    1. PD Scott   11 years ago

      Would tar and feathers help?

      Or just feathers, they should have plenty of tar.

  43. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Notes from the 'Ugly Friend' on beauty

    I find that these "think pieces" about real beauty and body image are great for a confidence booster, but they carry very little weight in the real world. I've found that there is something that works for me and carries me through because it is the only, sometimes heart-crushing, reality I have. I have accepted the fact that I am the ugly friend.

    I see it in pictures, in my social interactions, in the way that people speak to me. I will never, ever be conventionally beautiful, especially in the culture that I live in. I am blessed to be friends with some amazing and strikingly beautiful women. I go out with them and I get the impression from men that I am simply an obstacle to keep distracted while they hit on my more attractive counterparts. So I've accepted it.

    Weird, she's hardly hideous based on how she looks in the video.

    You see, beauty is nothing more than a social construct created by the people of a certain culture. There is nothing that scientifically says that skinny thighs and long hair are beautiful, but it is culturally ingrained in us from day one. So, while we can preach on and on every day about how everyone on the entire planet is drop-dead gorgeous, that is simply not how the world works.

    But I do admire her willingness to admit that.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      She's not ugly, she's fat. She could fix it easily enough if she cared.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        It's a glandular problem Warty!

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          ristin is terrible at bios. Born in a log cabin in 1776...or actually a suburb outside Pittsburgh in 1993 and a product of a big Jersey family, she's been a loud, spunky individual since birth (much to the dismay of anyone she can get to listen). Kristin can currently be found in either Pittsburgh, Athens, Ohio or New York City, depending on the weather and whimsy, working as a wanna-be-foodie, a lover of culture or Broadway fangirl. From an obsession with Rob Lowe, pugs, hedgehogs, chai tea and thick rimmed glasses, she can always find something to talk to you about.

          Oh my god. I have never hated anyone more than I hate her.

          1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            My comment at 4:57 is 100% correct.

            1. Warty   11 years ago

              Why doesn't she work for Jezebel? Lindy's only three or four heart attacks away from needing to be replaced.

              1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                Come on, she's not actually hideous or viciously hateful enough to work for Jezebel. They have...uh...standards. Plus, she actually accepted reality. No, they wouldn't want her at all.

                1. Warty   11 years ago

                  Well, then at least they could harvest her pancreas.

                  1. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

                    "Sweetbreads", Warty. They're called "sweetbreads".

          2. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

            Oh, she's so quirky and whimsical!

            Yawn.

          3. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

            She also felt the need to write this:

            Why I Don't "Bang" Bigots

            1. Warty   11 years ago

              That means, if you're sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, size-ist, able-ist, mean to animals or just plain awful to human beings in general, you don't get to dip between the sheets/lay on the wall/roll around the back seat of my Hyundai with me.

              Hyundai makes full-sized vans?

              1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

                You have to squeeze into a Santa Fe with her.

            2. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

              I don't "bang" the mentally handicapped, so I suppose Kristen and I will never come together to make sweet Cleveland Steamer love.

            3. John   11 years ago

              Honey, didn't your mother tell you only the pretty girls can be choosey?

          4. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

            Thick-rimmed glasses?! On a girl?! What manner of whimsy is this?

            I don't know if I could handle a free spirit like that. But, brother, I'd sure give it a shot.

      2. John   11 years ago

        Yeah. She is not ugly. She has decent skin, good features and nice hair. If she lost 40 lbs, she wouldn't be the wingman anymore.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          Let's cut to it, she's gotta be fucking annoying.

          1. John   11 years ago

            Yeah. As my mother always told me, exercise can get rid of the fat, but nothing getting rid of the personality.

          2. Warty   11 years ago

            She's not annoying, she's loud and full of spunk and whimsy!!!

            Jesus Christ. How many XL Polamalu and Roethlisberger jerseys do you think this twat owns?

            1. John   11 years ago

              Wouldn't the rape charges have caused her to burn her Big Ben Jerseys?

              1. Almanian!   11 years ago

                Nononononononono! Not for a yinzer! Even a part-time yinzer Loooooves her some Big Ben and Big Hair!

      3. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        Even fat is relative.

        My wife isn't skinny by anyone's definition, but to me she's smokin' hot (of course her willingness to fuck me helps in that).

        1. Corning   11 years ago

          This really needs to be mentioned more.

          Easy and faithful access to a woman's pink parts can change a 5 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10 more then any makeup or exercise/diet regiment ever could.

      4. Rasilio   11 years ago

        She's not ugly at all and doesn't appear to really be all that fat. I mean maybe if you compare her to 18 year olds but she looks about average weight for someone over age 28

      5. Juice   11 years ago

        No, she's not very attractive. Even if she lost weight she wouldn't be very good looking.

    2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      but it is culturally ingrained in us from day one.

      Even accepting the absurd "social construct" angle, how exactly is a day old newborn being culturally ingrained with what is beautiful?

      1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

        how exactly is a day old newborn being culturally ingrained with what is beautiful?

        That's a good question. Not about that social justice warrior bullshit, but for an serious investigation in aesthetics. Is there a quale of "beauty"? Or is beauty an emergent property that is constructed through the interaction of other things? If it's the later, how does one learn to recognize that property?

        1. Corning   11 years ago

          Squirrels and Rats somehow know not to fuck each other.

          I blame rodent porn.

        2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

          Read Umberto Eco.

          Of course that was my suggestion this morning when someone brought up semiotics, but if the shoe fits, read Umberto Eco.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

            Heh. Fair enough.

            1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

              I find that the solution to virtually any intellectual problem can be found in Eco's writing, fiction or non-fiction. He's pretty much my intellectual hero.

          2. Corning   11 years ago

            I read Foucault's Pendulum twice and I am still not sure what the fuck happened.

            Worse then Gene Wolfe.

            1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

              That's what you get.

              Read a better book (storywise). A Name of the Rose or The Island of the Day Before are much better, and still packed full of awesome.

              1. Corning   11 years ago

                I didn't say it was a bad book.

                Just that the author like Gene Wolfe has the habit of keeping major plot points secret.

                There is lots of good stuff in Foucault's Pendulum I just have a hard time trying to figure out how any of that stuff was connected in any kind of story.

      2. PD Scott   11 years ago

        If it looks at an ugly person and smiles, you slap the child and scream "NO! UGLY!"

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          LOL

          Rodney Dangerfield (PBUH) claimed he was so ugly when he was born that the doctor slapped his mother.

    3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      "beauty is nothing more than a social construct "

      Hate to break it to you chick, but it isnt. It is a sign of reproductive fitness.

    4. robc   11 years ago

      There is nothing that scientifically says that skinny thighs and long hair are beautiful

      Maybe not, but the golden ratio is still the golden ratio and isnt a social construct.

  44. PD Scott   11 years ago

    Or they could drop the biofuel angle and let Canada get in on that sweet cane action: Cold-tolerant oil-producing sugar cane could be one sweet source of biofuel.
    FTA:
    Led by plant biologist Prof. Stephen P. Long, the researchers have introduced genes to sugarcane plants, that boost the oil production in their stems by 1.5 percent. Ultimately, he hopes to see that raised to around 20 percent. While 1.5 isn't a huge number, Long explains, "At 1.5 percent, a sugarcane field in Florida would produce about 50 percent more oil per acre than a soybean field." Soybeans are currently a major source of biofuel, although Long believes that they can't meet US energy demands. Additionally, his team genetically engineered sugarcane plants to be 30 percent more photosynthetically efficient, meaning that they get 30 percent more growth energy from a given amount of sunlight than regular sugarcane.

    1. John   11 years ago

      Ethanol still screws up your engine though. But it at least makes a little more sense to make it out of sugar rather than corn, which is completely stupid.

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        ONLY if you don't make the engine right. All our engines at my last plant were flex fuel - run E85 in 'em forever if you want.

        But that's stupid, cause you get so much worse mileage, and - some selected places aside - E85 doesn't cost less than reg'lar 10% ethanol gas.

        OH! And - motorcycles - for the most part do NOT like more than 10% ethanol. E85 applies mostly to cars and trucks - definitely not most bikes.

        Carry on...

        1. John   11 years ago

          Well we will just make new engines and ban all of the old ones. Make everyone buy new cars. Think of the stimulus!!

          1. SPG_900   11 years ago

            +$1600 used price increase

      2. PD Scott   11 years ago

        This sugar cane is for producing biodiesel, not ethanol.

        "The team hopes to increase the oil content of sugarcane stems to about 20 percent, he said."

        It's not clear from the article if you could get sugar for ethanol as well as the oily stems from these (gasp) GMOs.

        1. John   11 years ago

          Biodesel from cane is actually a good idea.

          1. Rabban   11 years ago

            Not really. As long as oil comes out of the ground without too much coaxing, then fermenting blends of plants into it is going to be way more energy intensive (read expensive/wasteful) compared to just drilling for it.

      3. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Its not how they run, necessarily.

        Its the way ethanol dissolves various necessary bits of the engine.

    2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

      Prof. Stephen P. Long, the researchers have introduced genes to sugarcane plants, that boost the oil production in their stems by 1.5 percent.

      Of course to greenies, this kind of genetically modified crop is A-OK.

    3. Brett L   11 years ago

      Eh. Considering how poor soy is for biofuel, this is not a ringing endorsement. You really need something like algae that you can flip a genetic/environmental switch and have it devote 80% of its energy to lipid production.

    4. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      Until they can figure out how to make biofuels that contain more energy than it took to produce them they can go fuck themselves.

  45. John   11 years ago

    When the SCOTUS case on same sex marriage came down, I said at the time it created a constitutional right to gay marriage. Many pixels were spent informing me how full of shit I was. Well, the federal judge in Texas seems to have agreed with me.

    Fuck every mendacious fuck who ever pretended that is not what that case did. Do you think the rest of us are just too fucking stupid to read the damned case?

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      John, it appears your butt hurts. I am sorry. I hope you feel better soon.

      1. John   11 years ago

        It is not that issue so much. It is the fact that people were such lying sacks of shit about it. I was right and was called a liar and a scare monger for being so.

        1. Almanian!   11 years ago

          I don't recall all that, but you have my sincere sympathies if that's the case.

          YOU CAN SHAKE YOUR FIST AT 'EM AND SHOUT, "I TOLD YOU SO!"

          Keep thinking warm thoughts - we'll have the motorcycles out soon and all this will be a distant memory as we ride off into the warm, spring air, smelling the flowers and fresh-cut grass.

          🙂

          1. John   11 years ago

            I had mine serviced for the first time in four years last week. Oh God the expense was brutal. It needed all its fluids flushed, new break pads, new battery and new tires. Do not defer maintenance for four years.

            1. Almanian!   11 years ago

              Nope - had the valves done on my ZRX and Ninja - one each the last two years.

              Tip top shape - reh to go! The Ninja will need another set of Dunlops some time thie summer. Otherwise...

              The Honda XR is hardly broken in, so no money needed for now!

              1. John   11 years ago

                I pay the BMW tax. But I still love that bike. It is so versatile and ten years on still looks great. The 2004-08 R1150Rs really are classics. If they are not, they should be. Every time I think I should replace it, I ride it and realize there is no reason too.

              2. SweatingGin   11 years ago

                I need to adjust my valves. Battery probably won't have made it through this winter with my neglect. And I didn't change the oil in the fall like I should have.

                Other than those, though, it should be ready to go.

            2. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

              Buy wrenches. Get grease under your finger nails. Drink beer. Swear at stubborn parts. Break things. You have all winter.

              1. Almanian!   11 years ago

                I have a shitload of tools. I absolutely REFUSE to use them when it's below freezing in my garage. Fuck it.

                In the summer - yeah. Now?

                As my first boss (not a grease monkey) said, "You change your own oil?? That's why God invented checkbooks...."

                1. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

                  That's no excuse. In the winter, you roll that bike into the living room and start wrenching on it there.

                  1. SweatingGin   11 years ago

                    It's been too long since I had a motorcycle in the house. Mrs. Gin would not appreciate that.

                    Might be worth it for the roar of firing it up in the house to ride out the door.

          2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            I don't recall all that, but you have my sincere sympathies if that's the case.

            Actually, I do.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      "If you love your constitutional right so much, why don't you marry it?"

      1. Almanian!   11 years ago

        "If you love your constitutional right, you can KEEP your constitutional right..."

    3. Jarl ? the booty   11 years ago

      Shh, we're busy drinking cocktails.

  46. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

    What the NBA can teach us about eliminating bias.

    Justin Wolfers published a study on racial bias in foul calls in the NBA, and apparently the study's had some effect as now the bias is apparently gone.

    I'd be interested to get your takes on this. I looked at the graphs and have a theory but want to make sure I am not completely misreading them before forming an opinion.

    1. John   11 years ago

      You mean a meritocracy causes people to look at each other by merit rather than by tribe? I am shocked. Progs have always told me walking around butt hurt about your tribe is the only way to end bias.

    2. Rich   11 years ago

      Anybody else first see that as "What the NSA can teach us about eliminating bias."?

      *** gets coffee ***

      1. PD Scott   11 years ago

        If you say something hateful you'll hear your monitor tsk-tsking you.

    3. Almanian!   11 years ago

      I was thinking "eliminating Len Bias", then realized they'd already done that.

      Never mind.

    4. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

      I must be looking at the graphs wrong or something but doesn't it look like the bias was stronger against white players by black referees than visa-versa?

      1. BiMonSciFiCon   11 years ago

        That was my interpretation as well.

        1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          Thirded

        2. Apatheist ?_??   11 years ago

          Although it just looks like Black referees called fouls more in general and since White players foul more often (because of style of play/tactical use/whatever) that led to an increased disparity absolutely but not really relatively.

          I'm betting that the number of black referees increased and the ones that were there already got more experienced and better instructed. That combined with a goal to decrease foul calls (or decrease in foul drawing tactics) probably explains the difference and not some goal by the NBA to decrease discrimination.

          1. flye   11 years ago

            Plus, there is a bias in the NBA to having at least one white guy on a team. So it's not a pure meritocracy for white players, which could explain the higher propensity for committing fouls.

    5. Sidd Finch   11 years ago

      What changed between the two time periods? According to the NBA, "absolutely nothing."

      This is hilarious. The number of fouls for everyone clearly decreased in the second graph. This idiot is taking Stern's comments about officiating* at face value even though his graph clearly says otherwise.

      *For those who don't know, officiating guidelines under David Stern was probably the least transparent process in the history of American professional sports. Well-known problems (inconsistencies, all-star calls, Donaghy obviously fixing games etc.) were almost never addressed.

    6. Sidd Finch   11 years ago

      The bias appears to be entirely by the black refs. The difference in the 'no bias' era is almost identical to the difference with three white refs in the biased era. (I'm not sure anyone was actually "biased". Maybe they just called the game differently and since white and black players are (on average) significantly different it looks like bias.)

      In this scenario, simply becoming aware of their implicit biases caused the refs to alter their decision-making process.

      So the obvious question is "How did the black refs become aware and alter their process, but not the white refs?" The obvious answer is "The NBA dealt with this internally and lied about it."

  47. Cytotoxic   11 years ago

    Many months ago I remember hearing that FreedomWorks was in trouble. Any updates on that? What is their place on immigration?

  48. Rich   11 years ago

    Kepler telescope bags huge haul of planets

    One analysis of Kepler data published in November suggested that perhaps one in five stars like our Sun hosts an Earth-sized world located in the habitable zone.

    The, um, "visitation" cannot come soon enough.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      But those Goobacks will just TUKKK RRRR JERRRBSZZZ!111!

    2. PH2050   11 years ago

      "Seems like an awful waste of space."

    3. Suthenboy   11 years ago

      I postulated in freshman physics that since the sun is an ordinary star and the earth was a byproduct of it's formation, there should be zillions of stars out there that had planets. I then added that perhaps about 1/9 had life, that relatively speaking the universe is probably teeming with life.

      The professor almost had a nervous breakdown from hearing such blasphemy.

      1. Rhywun   11 years ago

        What's blasphemous? Carl Sagan and others said pretty much the same thing over 30 years ago.

    4. Corning   11 years ago

      The, um, "visitation" cannot come soon enough.

      I have decided that the existence of aliens would disprove the big bang.

      There is no way our universe would resemble untouched big bang projections if a space faring intelligence existed for more then a few 1000 years.

      You would have a better chance of deducing Hittite art culture from the garbage found in land fills in New Jersey.

      1. Rabban   11 years ago

        How about the light that we have received makes the universe look like an untouched canvas? That does not really correspond to what is actually happening in the now millions of light years away.

  49. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    More Americans getting butt implants

    Last year, cosmetic surgeons across the country performed nearly 10,000 buttock augmentations, up from the approximately 8,500 done in 2012, according to new stats from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

    Let's put this into context: The numbers for the Brazilian butt lift, as it's nicknamed, still aren't anywhere near the popularity of the most common plastic surgery procedures; nearly 30 times as many breast augmentations were done in that same time period, for just one example. But the new statistics do show a 16 percent increase in butt augmentations from 2012, perhaps a side effect of a nation's ongoing quest to keep up with Kim Kardashian.

    "It's just amazing, the numbers," said Dr. Douglas Taranow, a board-certified plastic surgeon in New York City's Upper East Side.

    Taranow says he started getting requests for Brazilian butt lifts about three and a half years ago; now, it's the second most popular procedure he does. It's still not quite as popular among his patients as liposuction, but it surpassed breast augmentations last year. He says he's lately been doing as many as four or five Brazilian butt lifts in a week, and while it's mostly women, he's had two male patients in the past six months.

    Great, now we have to look at butts and ask if they're fake.

    1. John   11 years ago

      Sometimes I wonder if maybe Bin Ladin didn't have a point. Of all the stupid shit.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

        Nah, in my experience Saudi guy love a girl with a big ass.

    2. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Meh, I can always tell. I'm that straight.

    3. Warty   11 years ago

      This has been around for a while. What I don't get is how the recovery from getting your ass cut open and bags inserted is easier than just doing some fucking squats or whatever. Here, look, an ass.

      1. Special Agent Marc F Cheney   11 years ago

        That better not be goatse.

        I'm going to assume it's goatse.

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          It's goatse.

      2. Surly Chef   11 years ago

        Zusana, nice pick Warty.

  50. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    ONLY if you don't make the engine right. All our engines at my last plant were flex fuel - run E85 in 'em forever if you want.

    How many of those "flex fuel" vehicles ever see a DROP of E-85?

    If what I have read is correct, that E-85 option is just a big accounting scam to help the mfrs make their CAFE numbers.

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      We don't give a shit. It is TOTALLY to comply w/gummint mandates, and perishingly few ever see a drop.

      Thanks, CAFE!

    2. John   11 years ago

      Come on. Don't you want your 200K Porsche GT3 to make 30 mph? I mean people who spend 200K on a track car really need to worry about mileage. I mean the risk of a catastrophic fire in what had previously been one of the most reliable cars in the world is a small price to pay to save Mother Ghaia.

      1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

        Speaking for myself, if I spent 200K on a car that couldn't make 30 mph, I'd buy a Tesla.

        1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          "...if I wanted to..."

          joe'z rule FTL.

    3. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

      I wouldn't put E85 in my FlexFuel Tundra, because it isn't any cheaper than gas, and I'd only get about 1/2 the fuel mileage.

      1. SPG_900   11 years ago

        I wont even put standard gas in my cars.

        my old man did the math once and it was 20% cheaper (this was a few years ago) and he went from 25 mpg to 19 in the impala

  51. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    Kristin can currently be found in either Pittsburgh, Athens, Ohio or New York City, depending on the weather and whimsy, working as a wanna-be-foodie, a lover of culture or Broadway fangirl. From an obsession with Rob Lowe, pugs, hedgehogs, chai tea and thick rimmed glasses, she can always find something to talk to you about.

    It's not your looks keeping you lonely, honey.

  52. Pseudonymous   11 years ago

    Oklahoma police dispatcher tenders her resignation after she gets caught smoking weed on the job

    http://www.tulsaworld.com/news.....DY.twitter

  53. Archduke von Pantsfan   11 years ago

    10,000 baby boomers shall retire today, tomorrow and every day for the next 16 years

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      The U.S. government is facing a total of 222 trillion dollars in unfunded liabilities during the years ahead. Social Security and Medicare make up the bulk of that.

      That's why we have to raise the debt ceiling, DUH!

    2. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Great. Now they'll have all day to fellate the Kennedys, rob the young, and generally demonstrate that there's no geezer like a hippy geezer.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        I hope many of them take up BASE jumping or cave diving or something equally dangerous.

        1. Paul.   11 years ago

          No, most of them will get involved in non-profits and possibly get more active in local politics. Change doesn't happen by itself, you know.

  54. PD Scott   11 years ago

    Artists create ice cream that plays music as you lick it.
    FTA:
    Artists Emilie Baltz and Carla Diana are exploring exactly that concept. Their work Lickestra is a musical performance in which ice cream is used as the instrument. Gizmag spoke to Baltz who explained that Lickestra uses cones with embedded capacitive sensors. The ice cream sits within the cones and, when licked, causes the sensors to send an electronic signal to an attached Arduino board. The Arduino, in turn, feeds a computer on which a library of melody loops and beats is stored, and that controls the subsequent audio output.
    "We used volunteer lickers who were happy to eat ice cream and lick in public," says Baltz. "People became very creative when challenged to showcase licking in public. Some lickers were naughty, sculptural, rhythmic and ballet-like."

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      No *video*?!

      Also, perhaps I'm getting jaded, but I wouldn't pay much for that.

  55. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Texas deputy shoots and kills 47 year old woman, details begin to contradict police account

    The circumstances surrounding the death of 47-year-old Yvette Smith get murkier by the day.

    The Bastrop County, Tex., Sheriff's Department initially said that police responded to Smith's home after a 911 call about two men fighting over a gun, and that Dep. Daniel Willis shot and killed Smith when she opened the door to her home while holding a firearm.

    The story has changed a few times since then. After witnesses came forward to say Smith was unarmed, the department subsequently issued a statement declaring that it is "unclear whether Smith actually had a gun." And at least as of Monday, the department hadn't responded to local media requests about whether a gun was found at the scene. In my experience, that means there probably wasn't one. Evidence favorable to an officer in these cases usually is released quickly. Unfavorable evidence is addressed with obfuscation and statements about the need for more investigation.

    According to TV station KXAN, witnesses inside the house also say that the initial 911 call was about two men arguing over money, not over a gun. They also contradict police report statements that "[t]he woman disregarded all commands."

    She was coming right at them!

    1. Almanian!   11 years ago

      The circumstances...get murkier by the day.

      Surprise, surprise, surprise!

    2. Paul.   11 years ago

      In my experience, that means there probably wasn't one. Evidence favorable to an officer in these cases usually is released quickly. Unfavorable evidence is addressed with obfuscation and statements about the need for more investigation.

      Boom. Money shot.

    3. R C Dean   11 years ago

      Dep. Daniel Willis shot and killed Smith when she opened the door to her home while holding a firearm.

      She deserved it!

      /dunphy OFF

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        How about this new state law: Right or wrong, if you shoot a resident on their own premises who hasn't wounded a law enforcement officer with a firearm, you are fired. Keep whatever level of benefits you've earned.

        That way those idiots want to shoot each other (or self-inflict with their throwdown gun) to make it a "good shoot".

        1. paranoid android   11 years ago

          How about this new state law: Right or wrong, if you shoot a resident on their own premises who hasn't wounded a law enforcement officer with a firearm, you are fired.

          Out of a cannon.

          Into the sun.

        2. John   11 years ago

          How about this, if you accidentally shoot someone, you go to jail for voluntary manslaughter.

    4. Paul.   11 years ago

      They also contradict police report statements that "[t]he woman disregarded all commands."

      Well, Dep. Willis thought the commands... in his mind as he was driving over.

    5. John   11 years ago

      Over hyped up officer draws his glock, which doesn't have a safety other than your finger, and accidentally shoots and kills a woman as she opens her door.

      The military spends hours teaching their soldiers to learn how to disengage and reengage their safeties when they fire a weapon. Cops never learn that. They carry weapons that don't have safeties and pull them out with no concern for accidental discharge.

      So shit like this happens.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        I don't think this was an accidental discharge, myself. No reason to believe it was, really. Looks like he's already lied about what happened, and if he changes his story, well, why believe him?

        Second degree murder, straight up.

        1. John   11 years ago

          I think it was accidental. Why would they have just shot the woman? I will bet anything what happened was the call got fucked up and told them it was two men arguing over a gun. So junior draws his weapon and gets all hyped up over going into the danger zone. The women opens the door and the dumb ass accidentally shot her.

          I don't think it is murder. I think it is depraved indifference voluntary manslaughter. I would go with murder 2 if there had been some kind of a confrontation.

          And of course they covered it up. They fucked up. It doesn't have to be murder for them to cover it up.

      2. Drake   11 years ago

        I don't care for the trigger safety only autos and don't know why a force would issue them to cops.

    6. PH2050   11 years ago

      THERE'S the Balko nut punch I was looking for. Been a couple days, swelling went down, I knew I was due for a new hit to the ol' family jewels.

  56. Paul.   11 years ago

    An appeals court has ruled that Google must remove the "Innocence of Muslims" video from Youtube after one of the actors featured in the film, which sparked protests around the world, claimed that she could copyright her performance.

    Finally, justice for Ambassador Stevens.

    1. Rich   11 years ago

      +4 dead

  57. Anonymous Coward   11 years ago

    Gaze Upon the Future Leaders of America: UCLA Students Has Meltdown After Divestment Vote (Against Israel) Fails

    Mature, reasoned, dignified response.

    1. John   11 years ago

      She has spent her whole life being treated like a trained ape. And that is in fact what she has become.

      1. PD Scott   11 years ago

        I think you're insulting trained apes, John.

        After all, if you threw her a banana, she'd probably claim you were symbolizing sexual assault.

        1. John   11 years ago

          True. She is a poorly trained ape.

    2. Warty   11 years ago

      Why is this child at a university?

      1. Paul.   11 years ago

        She's on funemployment!

      2. Episiarch   11 years ago

        Uh, universities are pretty much extended day care at this point. So...that's why. Moron. What's the matter, steroids make you stupid?

        1. Warty   11 years ago

          It was a rhetorical question. And yes.

        2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

          I want some steroids. 1 more year until I qualify for HRT.

    3. PH2050   11 years ago

      If there was ever a woman who deserved the "First World Problems" memepic, it's her.

    4. Paul.   11 years ago

      UCLA Students Has Meltdown After Divestment Vote (Against Israel) Fails

      +1 Democracy Now!

    5. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

      One wonders if the young lady would weep with such heart-rendering passion if she ever viewed the post-mortem photos of that Israeli infant, a one-month old girl, in Itamar who was stabbed to death in her crib by a Palestinian terrorist in an attack ordered by the al-Asqa Martyr's Brigade, an armed wing of the Fatah Party.

      I'm guessing not.

      1. John   11 years ago

        Of course not. This chick would stick people in ovens if she ever had the opportunity.

        1. Heroic Mulatto   11 years ago

          But only the "right" people would be incinerated, of course.

    6. MJGreen   11 years ago

      Awesome.

      Democracy's a bitch.

    7. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      Associated Student council groups attract the most privileged, ivory tower progs imaginable.

      AS-UCI at my alma mater basically spent their time planning socialist worker's rallies and supporting our Muslim Student Council in their anti-Israeli events.

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        Considering the people who want to join "student councils" and the like are pretty much exactly what Orwell was talking about with the pigs in Animal Farm, that comes as no surprise. I've never met a person who wanted to be in student government who wasn't a complete scumbag asshole. Luckily I avoided them like the plague.

        1. paranoid android   11 years ago

          It's like...you know that old joke about how in academia, the rivalries are so bitter because the stakes are so low? That attitude, but filled with self-righteous busybodies thirsting for the power to rule everyone else's life.

          That's student council.

        2. Paul.   11 years ago

          Again, hold an election, arrest everyone who shows up. It's the only way.

    8. Corning   11 years ago

      She looks like Thelma.

      Why does nerdy California white girl give a shit?

  58. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    Nut salve for that last nut punch: A Daily Fail article about Kate Upton

    1. PH2050   11 years ago

      I had the lotion...er, nut salve ready to go but you SugarFree'd the link, damn you!

    2. John   11 years ago

      You SFed the link. I think that about sums things up.

      1. R C Dean   11 years ago

        Hard to type, Grand Moff?

    3. General Butt Naked   11 years ago

      How about an article on HTML tagging?

    4. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

      You're all welcome.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....rated.html

      1. Episiarch   11 years ago

        Sorry, Carol, but that cover is fucking great and Lily Aldridge is hotter than you were in your prime. Kate's going to be really fat in 10 years so I'll leave her out of it.

        1. PH2050   11 years ago

          Hahaha, I cosign all of this.

          1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

            I just wish the swimsuits weren't usually so ugly.

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              Do you actually think we're noticing the swimsuits? Sure, you do, or jesse, or Serious does, but not most of us.

              1. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

                Shut up, man! Nikki just suggested they get rid of their swimsuits.

                1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                  Scientist also notices the swimsuits, it seems.

              2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                Oh screw you. If I want to look at nubile young ass in bikinis I can go to the beach anytime of the year.

                Hell, in 12 hours it'll be pouring rain but I could probably go to the beach right now and see some attractive women.

                1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                  Not today, son. Not today. And we're looking at 11 ft waves and a +6 high tide this weekend.

                  1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                    11 foot waves? I'd like to see that. I enjoy storm weather like right now with the cold winds and gathering clouds.

                    1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                      LAX was a hoot this morning. My flight did a go around.

                    2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                      Just for you, Serious.

                      Not sure why they have a beach hazard statement for La Palma, but whatever. The radar feature is awesome. I used it the last time it snowed here (at the 110/105 interchange near Compton).

                    3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                      Cool. Looks like 3-4 hours until that first band of rain hits Orange County.

                      When was that? I recall it hailing during an intense storm way back in 02, 03 or something like that.

                2. Mad Scientist   11 years ago

                  Surfer girl warming up.

                  1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                    My wife had a suit like that in Hawaii, and it cost me another kid. All her fault!!! What did she think was gonna happen, with all the bending over to build sandcastles with the kids and whatnot?!?

              3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

                Well I'm talking about myself! And fuck jesse, I actually wear women's swimsuits. (Luv u jesse!)

                1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                  I wasn't aware that jesse has denied wearing women's swimsuits. I'm going to need a denial before I can be sure, and until then, I'll just assume whatever I want like I always do.

                  1. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

                    Sigh, you're probably right. He probably likes the way they shape his junk.

                  2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                    He's out of town and unable to deny it. How suspicious.

                    1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

                      What the hell happened here?

                      The only reason I could ever conceivably wear a bikini would be to further scar NSA monitors over the internet.

                      I strongly suspect that a bikini bottom would not shape my junk in a pleasing way, and will continue to default to jockstraps for that purpose thank you all.

                      (luv u 2 Nicole!)

            2. playa manhattan   11 years ago

              The Mom's Brigade is complaining about that.

              1. Suthenboy   11 years ago

                Good grief.

    5. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Way to screw it up, bonehead.

    6. General Butt Naked   11 years ago

      You owe me one wasted dollop of jergens.

      You'll hear from my attourney.

  59. William of Purple   11 years ago

    "Blue is the Warmest Color" now streaming on Netflix instant.
    Thank me later.

  60. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

    18 Things Chicagoans Must Explain to Out-of-Towners

    5. You won't get curb-stomped for putting ketchup on your hot dog
    You WILL get some pointed stares, though. Seriously, just TRY it without the ketchup. Even if you're one of those weird, mustard-hating people.

    6. No one calls it "Chi-Town" without irony
    Except Kanye West. Do you really want to be like Kanye West?

    7. All our pizza isn't deep dish
    If you've never had it, by all means indulge, as it's a singularly delicious treat. But in the typical day-to-day, your average Chicagoan eats (gasp!) more thin crust.

    I have no real desire to visit there, so I don't care to know if this is true or not.

    1. Episiarch   11 years ago

      Who the fuck puts ketchup on a hot dog?

      1. Jarl ? the booty   11 years ago

        Someone with tastebuds?

        1. Surly Chef   11 years ago

          Someone that doesn't like the flavor of sausage?

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            The next time you call a hot a sausage, consider yourself intertube-slapped.

            1. Rhywun   11 years ago

              ^ This.

      2. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

        A normal person? I can't stand mustard.

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          You guys are weirdos. Hot dogs are essentially a form of bratwurst/sausage. Even if you don't like mustard (extra weirdo), you don't put a tomato-based salt and sugar delivery system on them. Ugh. But I'm sure you both love deep dish pizza too, so I shouldn't be surprised. You're like male nicoles or something.

          1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

            You might be overreaching here. I eat my hotdogs plain, but the most popular form of hot dog in the US is with relish, ketchup, and mustard.

            1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

              I like mine with spicy mustard and corn relish with jalape?os.

            2. Episiarch   11 years ago

              You have your hot dog your way, and I'll have it mine.

              1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                Greek sauce? You know, that's not really specific enough for me...

            3. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

              I just eat my Dodger Dogs with ketchup. I don't like onions unless they are grilled.

              Sauerkraut is acceptable, however.

              1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

                Dodger dogs (Farmer John, if I'm not mistaken) are the worst seasoned hot dogs on the planet. There are so many better options...

                1. Grand Moff Serious Man   11 years ago

                  There are better options, but I still think they are fantastic. The key is to get them grilled on the Loge level.

                  They are an indelible part of the experience of watching the game at the stadium.

      3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        Me. Duh.

        1. Episiarch   11 years ago

          Of course, that went without saying.

        2. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          I usually go for ketchup on my hot dogs. I love mustard now, but didn't as a kid. Although I'll eat just about anything else at a cook out before I'll have a hot dog.

          Except the sketchy LA dogs outside of the sketchy gay bars in Silverlake:

          Also common in Los Angeles and San Francisco are bacon-wrapped hot dogs, often served with toppings such as fried peppers and onions, mayonnaise, etc. These are typically sold by street vendors who grill the hot dogs on small push-carts. The legality of such operations may be questionable in some instances.

          1. playa manhattan   11 years ago

            Freedom dogs.

          2. Episiarch   11 years ago

            Sounds like you might not like a Seattle Dog. I'm not a big fan myself but I will admit they're pretty tasty when leaving a Mariners game drunk.

            1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

              I read that and have no idea what a Seattle dog is other than that there is likely cream cheese involved.

              1. Episiarch   11 years ago

                Then you basically know what it is, because the cream cheese seems to be the only constant. When I do get them, I also get them with kraut and onions. It's weird, but perfectly fine if you're hungry. I still prefer chili cheese dogs with onion, though.

          3. playa manhattan   11 years ago

            I had a Sonoran Hot Dog at a food truck in Portland, and it is definitely in my top 10. The best I've ever had, though, is at the cart outside of Home Depot. It was so juicy, it violated the laws of physics...

            1. Episiarch   11 years ago

              I think the best hot dog I ever had was on Coney Island at Nathan's at about 11PM on a Saturday while coked up and drunk. I got two dogs completely loaded and wolfed them down, and they were so good. My friend's father owned a house in Sea Gate so we just drove right outside the gates for the dogs, and then went back and sat on the beach. Good times.

      4. Matrix   11 years ago

        Only weirdos put ketchup on their hotdogs... freakin' creepy ones at that.

        1. jesse.in.mb   11 years ago

          No one is denying that Matrix, just look at the people involved in this portion of the thread.

      5. Juice   11 years ago

        Who the fuck eats hot dogs?

    2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

      I can vouch for everything (though many are stupid) except #8.

      8. Yes, Winter really is that bad
      And Winter runs from Halloween to... St. Patrick's Day.

      Pussy.

      1. Corning   11 years ago

        The thing I hate most about Chicago is that unlike LA and NY it probably will not get terrorist nuked, fall into the ocean or get hit by a tidal wave.

    3. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

      I go to Chicago if I have a reason to.

      I've traveled there to see concerts (one disadvantage of living in KY is that most obscure metal acts only hit the big cities along the fringes of the country, and Chicago is often the closest place to see a show), and to hop on the Empire Builder to Glacier National Park.

      1. Juice   11 years ago

        I'm thoroughly unimpressed by Chicago. It's big, yes. And that's it.

      2. Drake   11 years ago

        #1 thing they have to explain to me - why they live in that shit-hole.

  61. RishJoMo   11 years ago

    Gotta love those kangaroo court judges.

    http://www.Anon-VPN.com

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