Brickbat: Tears on My Pillow

Miramar, Florida, police closed Pembroke Road and several side streets and locked down a nearby school for over two hours after someone reported suspicious items on the side of the street. Cops called in the Broward County sheriff's department bomb squad, which determined the objects were a shopping bag and pillows.

Comments

[anon]

Another day, another story of the public at large willing to accept abhorrent behavior by their masters because TEH CHILDRUNZ!

Fucking pussies.

[PM]

Bear in mind, some dipshit actually alerted the authorities and caused this whole hullabaloo to begin with. They're not just willing to accept it, they demand it.

[Ted S.]

I wish somebody had 6A standing to find out who made that 911 call.

[Pavlov's Cat]

Remember when what was on the side of the road was the cause of jokes?

[anon]

You mean like dead babies?

[PM]

Non sequitur. Dead babies go in dumpsters. Everybody knows that.

[Almanian!]

Well, in the civilized world, maybe.

In Libertopia, the baby corpses are piled high, everywhere, reeking and festering in the summer sun - hard and glistening like flesh-colored climbing walls in the dead of winter.

And you know what? The Libertopians LIKE it. It distracts them from the appalling lack of roadz.

[invisible furry hand]

I thought in Libertopia the dead babies were on the menu at the Koch brothers' cribs

[Fist of Etiquette]

More children die from inhaling goose down and shopping bags than from the overreaction of authorities. True or false?

[anon]

Definitely going with false.

Even so, at least the shopping bags and goose down are just weeding out the morons.

[invisible furry hand]

from the comments:

jack.foobar at 1:55 PM February 05, 2014
If you outlaw pillows, only criminal middle schoolers will have pillows.

NI51965 at 10:22 PM February 04, 2014
Make it illegal,to posses a pillow cushion, within 1,000 feet of a school

Boca 40 at 6:16 PM February 04, 2014
Ban all pillows now!

I'm pretending they're all mine

[Swiss Servator, Befehl!]

OK, at least the commentariat is keeping this in the proper perspective.

[Radioactive]

what's that, a little low and to the left?

[invisible furry hand]

Swing low, sweet chariot

[Swiss Servator, Befehl!]

Do your comments hang high?
Do your comments hang low?

Can you tie them in knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a Continental Soldier?

Do your comments hang low?

[Radioactive]

I love the smell of snark in the morning.

[SugarFree]

The reaction was understandable. Jihadist videos are produced by the dozens every day swearing fatwa on the self-important citizens of Miramar, Florida.

[Swiss Servator, Befehl!]

Florida Akbar!

[creech]

What do they do on "trash day" when whole neighborhoods put cans out along the roadway? My God, those clever terrorists may be targeting our children with a bomb in that discarded 42" flat screen box! I think all trashmen should be armed and all garbage collected be first sniffed by dogs and groped by TSA agents.

[Radioactive]

grope the trash sniffing dogs or sniff the groping TSA agents?

[0x90]

So! You think you are strong, because you can survive the soft cushions? Well, we shall see!