Post Office

When Postage Stamps Are Bad Role Models


Postage stamps

America's children have been saved. The feckless daredevils of the United States Postal Service will no longer encourage them to perform a headstand without a safety helmet.

At the beginning of 2013, the postal service unveiled a series of stamps inspired in part by First Lady Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" anti-obesity campaign. Titled "Just Move," the 15-stamp collection, originally scheduled for release in 2014, featured drawings of children in various athletic activities.

In October the plan hit a snag. According to Linn's Stamp News, the postal service invited Michelle Obama to participate in the stamps' introduction ceremony. It turned out that neither she nor the President's Council on Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition had seen the stamps before. When members of the council saw the images, they objected. The children were frolicking unsafely! In one stamp, a child was skateboarding without kneepads. In another, a child was jumping into the water cannonball-style.

So the series has been put on hold. Although initial reports said the stamps would be destroyed, a spokesperson for the postal service says it has not yet decided what to do with the dangerous images.

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  1. Wait until they prints stamps of people photographing cops.

    1. Or stamps of people posting to internet message boards before drinking their first cup of coffee for the day.

  2. What the fuck kid is even going to see these stamps? They communicate with each other (and, hell, even their grandmothers) by social media.

  3. Postage stamps have been bad role models for ages. Look at how many of them have images of politicians.

  4. I got drunk yesterday and now I cant find my phone. Can someone call me so I can see if the phone is at least in my apartment? Anyone?

  5. In other news, the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition had their budget doubled and was given regulatory power over all images published by the Federal Government.

  6. I remain struck by the irony that these decisions are coming, largely, from people who lived in a time when bikes were ridden without helmets, when kids climbed trees and played dodge ball, when moms had home baked cookies with milk waiting after the young ‘uns got home from school, kids who (usually) spent the next several hours running around with their friends.

    It’s like the sentiment of these busybodies is “we had fun AND survived but, dammit, we’ll make sure our kids can’t.”

    1. we had fun AND survived but

      … not all of us did, and although they died doing what they loved, their demise provides for a teachable, nay, a coercible moment.

    2. I don’t know – these people sound like they are speaking from experience on the dangers of taking repeated severe blows to the head. It also sounds like one more severe blow to the head probably wouldn’t hurt them.

    3. Not for too much longer.

  7. Feel like laughing at leftist “logic”? My friend posted this to facebook. I didn’t respond with the snark it deserved since he’s one of the few (only?) reasonable, polite lefties, and a huge proponent of private gun ownership to boot.

    1. That graphic came from the Occupy Wall Street facebook page, but I didn’t want to get any more stupid on my computer by clicking through.

      1. Imagine that. Those in charge of taking money at the point of the gun live high on the hog. The solution is take more money obviously.

    2. Dude, the left hand side has Obama and Biden.

      I don’t think you’re reading it properly.

      1. Ha. Yeah, I just glanced at it and assumed that was a corporate boardroom. That’s actually radically anti-authoritarian compared to the other Occupy crap I ran across.

  8. Who the heck still sends things through the mail anyways lol.

  9. Uh, someone help me out here. What wrong with doing a cannonball, exactly?

    1. Jumping into the water is unsafe because you might hit the bottom, break your legs and be unable to crawl out of the pool.

      Diving into the water is even worse because you can hit your head, suffer brain damage and become a member of the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports, and Nutrition.

      1. So by that logic, a cannonball would be relatively safe, since you’re bending your legs up into your torso. Unless they’re concerned about tailbone injuries and possible spinal damage/paralysis??

        1. A cannonball is dangerous because it’s a gateway drug to diving.

          Also anything that makes pools more fun lead to increased pool usage, leading to injury and death.

        2. Also, with the way hydrodynamics works, a person doing a cannonball does not go as deep under as jumping in. However, it does seem like the powers that be would eliminate diving of all forms.

  10. They need a stamp of Michelle Obama huffing and puffing on a treadmill, trying to slim down that big fat ass of hers.

  11. According to Linn’s Stamp News, the postal service invited

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