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A.M. Links: UN Uninvites Iran From Syria Peace Conference, Sarah Palin Asks Barack Obama Not to Use Race Card, Stray Dogs in Detroit Overestimated

Ed Krayewski | 1.21.2014 9:00 AM

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    Detroit Dog Rescue

    The United Nations rescinded Iran's invitation to the Syria peace conference being held in Geneva after the Syrian opposition and the United States objected.  Iran, and fellow Syria ally Russia, have criticized the decision. Separately, the UN's nuclear watchdog confirmed Iran is in compliance with the agreement arrived at last year. The U.S. and the European Union eased some sanctions in response.

  • The White House is lobbying Congress to pass legislation that would extend to the president more authority to negotiate trade deals with other countries.
  • US technology companies are reconsidering how to do business in China, where they are being targeted by local regulators over allegations of price-gouging and cooperation with American surveillance efforts.
  • Sarah Palin went to Facebook to ask President Obama to stop using the race card, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • An Indiana police chief running for county sheriff accidentally shot himself while off-duty at a gun store.
  • A survey by an animal welfare group found that there are under 3,000 stray dogs on Detroit's streets on any given day, far less than the 50,000 another group previously estimated.

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NEXT: White House Pushing For Congress To Give Obama Trade Promotion Authority

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    An Indiana police chief running for county sheriff accidentally shot himself while off-duty at a gun store.

    Hey, if a sheriff is going to accidentally shoot someone…

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      But did he shoot the deputy?

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Well, I do have to give him credit for being self-deprecating and having a sense of humor about it.

      FTA: “If anyone says this could never happen to them, they’re mistaken,” Counceller said. “You have to keep your guard up at all times. Some candidates are out there doing things for kids to try to get elected. Me, I shoot myself. What a way to get publicity.”

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      The gun just magically went off.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

        He’s lucky the other guns in the shop didn’t join in with panic fire.

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          They can do that? Wow, there need to be better firearms regulations.

      2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        The gun just magically went off.

        Not this time. Not even cops have the temerity to portray shooting oneself as a passive action.

        Me, I shoot myself.

        1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

          Sorry mlg…

          it was tangled in the material which caused it to discharge

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            FTA:

            “If anyone says this could never happen to them, they’re mistaken,” Counceller said. “You have to keep your guard up at all times. Some candidates are out there doing things for kids to try to get elected. Me, I shoot myself. What a way to get publicity.”

            I guess the passive and the active both are in there. Is the passive form a paraphrase written by the reporter? Or a quote from our genius cop?

            1. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

              I’m going with genius here. Describing his first self inflicted negligent discharge fifteen years ago:

              “I was working third shift as a captain. I was unloading (the gun) to take it to the gunsmith and I didn’t drop the barrel to see if there was (a bullet) in the chamber,” Counceller said. “The shot hit my hand. That one really hurt.”

              But the mayor has full confidence in his chief, along with a good backstop:

              “It was just a little accident. Dave is an excellent marksman,” Urban said Monday. “Apparently the Glocks don’t have the trigger safety that they should have.”

              He shot where he was aiming? Because marksmanship has little to do with safe firearms handling. And a trigger safety is exactly what a Glock has.

    4. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      On that note, I picked up my Marlin 336c yesterday. It’s a Remlin but it is beautiful. Everything seems to be alright on it, the action is a little stiff but that will loosen up over time.

      Need to go shoot it as the final test. It’s -23*C (-9.4F) here this morning, -31*C (-23.8F) with the wind chill. Won’t be doing any shooting in this.

      1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        Need to go shoot it as the final test. It’s -23*C (-9.4F) here this morning, -31*C (-23.8F) with the wind chill. Won’t be doing any shooting in this.

        Pussy. The best time to shoot is when it’s cold as balls.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

          … When it comes to cold weather, I can be a bit of a pussy.

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            And yet you live in Canada. Hm.

    5. Rich   11 years ago

      “It got tangled in my clothing,” Counceller said of his weapon. “I felt (the gun) go in the holster and I pushed it, but it was tangled in the material which caused it to discharge.”
      Nurses thought the chief was joking when he told them he’d shot himself. “I’ll be back at work on Tuesday.”

      Uh, huh. Here’s another.

      Man accidentally shot self in road rage incident

      1. db   11 years ago

        Was it a Glock? Holstering your shirt with your Glock is a prime cause of NDs.

        1. Rich   11 years ago

          The chief’s was a Glock.

  2. BigT   11 years ago

    Krugnuts: The Undeserving Rich

    He really gets his class envy on in this one.

    And who are these lucky few? Mainly they’re executives of some kind, especially, although not only, in finance. You can argue about whether these people deserve to be paid so well, but one thing is clear: They didn’t get where they are simply by being prudent, clean and sober.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01…..ef=general

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Yes, but where are the comments saying?

      Always look to the comments.

      1. BigT   11 years ago

        After reading comments: [wretch]

        Calling barfman!!

    2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Whereas Krugman deserves to be wealthy by contributing so much value to the economy.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        If you keep beating me to the punch, I’ll start posting more Karel Gott.

        1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

          ? Fa la la la la ?

          I can’t hear you!

          ? Fa la la la la lay ?

          1. Ted S.   11 years ago

            Instead of Karel Gott, how about this?

            1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

              Actually it annoys me when they take a pop song, and change all the words, instead of trying to translate the essence of the lyrics.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Krugman is one of the undeserving rich.

      1. wareagle   11 years ago

        and totally lacking in self-awareness. Funny how often the folks bitching about the evil, filthy rich are part of the club themselves. They must be the right kind of rich.

        1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

          They must be the right kind of rich.

          Bingo.

        2. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

          You mean like when he was complaining about suburbia and lack of density whilst living in a huge suburban house?

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            You mean like when he was complaining about suburbia and lack of density whilst living in a huge suburban house?

            Large suburban houses are only for the right people.

    4. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      They didn’t get where they are simply by being prudent, clean and sober.”

      You won’t get off welfare any other way tho, and saying so is “blaming the victim”.

      1. Brett L   11 years ago

        You’d be surprised how far one can get from poor just by being “prudent, clean, and sober”.

        1. Juice   11 years ago

          Obama became rich by being clean and articulate, at least according to Biden.

    5. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      deserve to be paid so well

      Could someone give me the chart or empirical set of equations that calculates exactly what each of us deserve? I keep hearing this word thrown around but never get a cited reference so that I can go check to see if I’m getting what I deserve.

      1. Steve G   11 years ago

        Top Men are feverishly working on the final piece of the equation which has eluded them for so long: the ‘their fair share’ constant. Once they get that, we can quickly solve for what we each “deserve”.

      2. Brett L   11 years ago

        “Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.”

        My kid is going to hate me for teaching him the Tao of Josie Wales

        1. PM   11 years ago

          My kid is going to hate me for teaching him the Tao of Josie Wales

          That was William Munny you philistine

          1. WTF   11 years ago

            “Dyin’ ain’t much of a living, son.”

          2. Brett L   11 years ago

            I guess its the Tao of Clint Eastwood cowboys.

      3. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        X/Y*0^2=Z

        X= What I have
        Y=What you have
        Z=What you deserve

        1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

          perhaps my order of operators is out here but isn’t the above Undefined?

          x(y*0^2)=Z now that is zero. But i read it as x/(y*0^2) which no worky.

      4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        You will be told, don’t you worry. Some hipster-doofus will figure out what you’re worth.

      5. 110 Lean   11 years ago

        Could someone give me the chart or empirical set of equations that calculates exactly what each of us deserve?

        They’ll let us know when we get to the camps.

        1. Entropy Void   11 years ago

          Ask the IPAB.

    6. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      Wow.

      It’s very, erm, Krugmanian.

    7. waffles   11 years ago

      He tells the reader that this isn’t an argument and isn’t up for debate. What-the-fuck?

      Also this is the “New Gilded Age”? Is that a thing?

      1. prolefeed   11 years ago

        I refuse to refuse to read any Outrage Pundit Porn from Krugman. Why would I voluntarily subject myself to such stupid?

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          Part of me thinks that we do need a new class war, but the two classes are the Government Class and the Productive Class.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Hey! I don’t want to be grouped in with those guys.

          2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            Part of me thinks that we do need a new class war, but the two classes are the Government Class and the Productive Class.

            Krugabe thinks so too, he’s just calling it something different.

      2. Irish   11 years ago

        He tells the reader that this isn’t an argument and isn’t up for debate. What-the-fuck?

        That’s nothing. In his book about ending the recession, which I read because I’m a masochist, he actually says “I believe that income inequality played a role in the economic collapse. Unfortunately I can’t prove this.”

        Well if you can’t prove it, then what the fuck is it doing in a supposed book about economics?

        I believe unicorns caused WWII. Unfortunately I can’t prove it.

        1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

          DENIER!!!!

    8. Zeb   11 years ago

      The story goes like this: America’s affluent are affluent because they made the right lifestyle choices. They got themselves good educations, they got and stayed married, and so on. Basically, affluence is a reward for adhering to the Victorian virtues.

      I can’t quite decide if he actually believes that this is what people think, or if he is being deliberately dishonest. “Lifestyle choices”?

      1. Irish   11 years ago

        Krugman’s a moron. There are certain values that, if you hold to them, you will virtually never be poor. Don’t have children out of wedlock and don’t have them before you choose. Don’t get addicted to drugs or alcohol. Budget your money and don’t blow it on cigarettes, lottery tickets, or luxury items.

        If you tell me someone is poor, I can tell you with 99% certainty that they failed one of those three tests. Krugman’s assertions have no bearing on the matter.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          The rich get richer and the poor get poorer!

          Yes, rich people get richer by doing things that got them rich in the first place. Likewise, poor people get poorer (or stay poor) by doing the same things that got them poor in the first place.

          But of course, that little saying is abused by the proggies.

          1. 110 Lean   11 years ago

            I went home for lunch everyday this summer and a great many of my ghetto sit around all day doing nothing. Maybe a walk to the corner store for a pack of smokes, but that’s about it. And man do these fuckers litter! I have seen people standing right next to a garbage can throwing their candy wrappers on the ground.

            1. Juice   11 years ago

              Holy shit, people do that here too. They’ll throw shit on the ground right next to the god damned public trash can that someone is paid to come empty. They don’t have to bring the trash to the dump or even drag a bin out to the curb. All they have to do is put the shit into the can and they don’t have to live in a litter-filled shit hole. But that would be too much effort.

        2. Zeb   11 years ago

          Sure, things like that are a pretty good way to avoid poverty, but they don’t guarantee affluence, which seems to be what Krugman thinks other people think.

          I, for example, could probably be a lot more affluent than I am now, but I value free time and leisure over devotion to career. In addition to not making stupid choices, people who become rich also need to work hard and be ambitious.

          1. Irish   11 years ago

            I agree that becoming VERY wealthy requires different skills, but the main issue is poverty avoidance. Who gives a shit how rich the wealthiest people are if no one’s in poverty?

            1. Zeb   11 years ago

              Who gives a shit how rich the wealthiest people are if no one’s in poverty?

              Krugman and a bunch of other meat heads, that’s who. I know I don’t have to convince you.

          2. Brett L   11 years ago

            How can you be any more affluent than being able to choose not to work any more than is necessary to provide you with the resources to enjoy your leisure?

      2. trshmnstr   11 years ago

        It makes sense, assuming you strip out the drooling derision.

        They got themselves good educations

        Good education (not “good education” as academics would have you believe) is a great way to move from paycheck to paycheck to having some money in reserve.

        they got and stayed married

        Not shockingly, two people with two incomes are more stable than one person with one income. Also not shockingly, the people who haven’t had to pay for a divorce have more money than the folks who have.

        Toss in a budget, a little self discipline and some ambition, and you have potential to be affluent. Heck, you’re practically guaranteed to be better of than paycheck to paycheck.

        1. Zeb   11 years ago

          Toss in a budget, a little self discipline and some ambition

          I’d say those are far more important than any of the things Krugman mentioned.

      3. Red Rocks Rockin   11 years ago

        Of course, what Krugnuts leaves out is that the things he’s bitching about–the narrative that people who have college degrees and are married tend to be more well-off financially than those who are not–is empirically confirmed in study after study whether its from the private or public sector.

        His manic obsession with subversion really stands out in that little blurb you quoted.

        1. Marshall Gill   11 years ago

          But the Victorians would be rigggghhhhtttt!!!!1!! Anything other than absolute Libertinism is oppressive!

          /Krugabe

  3. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    The White House is lobbying Congress to pass legislation that would extend to the president more authority to negotiate trade deals with other countries.

    Let’s see how well he negotiates with Congress for negotiating authority before we give him negotiating authority.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      I thought all he needed was a pen and a phone?

      1. WTF   11 years ago

        That’s two turntables and a microphone.

  4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    Hello.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Are you even trying?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        No, i’m not.

    2. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      Bonjour

      1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

        Bonjour

        The fuck is going on? Not only are we being greeted by Canuckistanis, but Quebecois?

  5. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Geithner Told McGraw U.S. Would Respond to Downgrade, S&P Says

    Former U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told McGraw Hill Financial Inc. (MHFI:US) Chairman Harold W. McGraw III in 2011 that Standard & Poor’s downgrade of the U.S. debt would be met by a response, S&P said.

    S&P filed a declaration of McGraw yesterday in federal court in Santa Ana, California, as part of a request to force the U.S. to hand over potential evidence the company says will support its claim that the government filed a fraud lawsuit against it last year in retaliation for its downgrade of the U.S. debt two years earlier.

    1. WTF   11 years ago

      “Nice company you got there, it would be a shame if anything happened to it.”

  6. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

    I didn’t see any sign of this in the headlines here over the weekend, and didn’t have a chance to read all of the comments on all of the articles. I would like to point out that by the Governer’s definition, he’s lumped any of you pro-2nd amendment libertarians in with bible thumping socons as “extereme” conservatives. His definition of “Moderate” is “Anyone who’s rolled over for him.”

    http://blog.timesunion.com/cap…..-new-york/

    I really hate that man (and no, I didn’t vote for him).

    Though on the upside, the commentary on the article is more heartening than you usually see on that rag.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      I really hate that man (and no, I didn’t vote for him).

      Well, he is boinking Sandra Lee…so he probably knows how to eat Kwanzaa Cake frugally.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

        Well, he is boinking Sandra Lee…

        He still hasn’t suffered enough.

    2. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      This is how progressives embrace diversity. Also, all right-thinking people know that all ideologies of the “right,” from anarcho-capitalism to the Divine right of kings, are the same.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Fucker wouldn’t prosecute Eliot Spitzer, and people thought we needed another AG as governor.

    4. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      He didn’t say “Second Amendment” fans – he used “assault weapons” instead.

      Yes, I completely agree that AW is a nearly meaningless term but many libertarians are OK with the Firearms Control Act of 1934 (or close to that anyway).

      1. db   11 years ago

        Citation needed. NFA ’34 was the camel’s nose. Let’s take a poll here: who’s in favor of registration and limitation of supply of full auto guns?

        Not me, and I stand to lose a great deal of value in my collection if the artificial supply shortage of machineguns were removed.

        1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

          Has Rand Paul or Amash campaigned on repealing that law? Has anyone?

          1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

            So no citation, huh? Yeah, we all figured as much.

            1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

              I don’t need a citation. If libertarians viewed repealing that law as a priority we would hear about it here.

              1. So very tired   11 years ago

                If libertarians

                You didn’t name any libertarians.

                1. KMA Too   11 years ago

                  Isn’t s/he supposed to be a libertarian?

              2. Jordan   11 years ago

                Move those goalposts.

              3. PM   11 years ago

                Plural of anecdote still isn’t data.

                Not only is Reason not the final arbiter of all libertarianism, but firearm restrictions have advanced so far beyond the ’34 NFA that priorities and prospects for repealing it are fairly low at this time. If this were 1933 the case would be much, much different.

                1. Jordan   11 years ago

                  He hasn’t even provided any anecdotes. Not viewing repealing the law as a priority is still not the same thing as supporting it.

            2. 110 Lean   11 years ago

              As Thomas Paine said, “To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.”

          2. Jordan   11 years ago

            There are tens of thousands of unlibertarian laws on the books. Not campaigning to repeal them is not evidence of support.

            1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

              There are tens of thousands of unlibertarian laws on the books. Not campaigning to repeal them is not evidence of support.

              You hush your mouth, Jordan! Ass Beads in a metal GIANT, Jordan. A Mental. Giant.

              1. trshmnstr   11 years ago

                Ass Beads in a metal GIANT

                Hey, if you like things like that, the more power to you.

                1. KMA Too   11 years ago

                  Ass Beads in a metal GIANT

                  Why do I get a mental image of this on a Judas Priests tour t-shirt?

      2. prolefeed   11 years ago

        but many libertarians are OK with the Firearms Control Act of 1934 (or close to that anyway)

        I’ve never met a self-identifying libertarian who said they supported anything like that. If they did, they’d be a mighty small-l libertarian.

    5. Aloysious   11 years ago

      If I lived in that state, I would hate everyone who voted for that guy. They are the ones who are deranged. (Well, so is he…)

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        I give them the benefit of the doubt as he was really good at hiding it during the circus of the last election. If they vote for him in 2014, they have no excuse and deserve hate.

        1. Ted S.   11 years ago

          No he wasn’t. He was the sitting AG, and as such an asshole by definition.

          His role in inflating the housing bubble from when he was in the Clinton cabinet shouldn’t be overlooked, either.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Most voters don’t even know what an AG does, let alone name the sitting incumbent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d never heard the term before.

  7. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    How many concussions happened in America in lieu of Palin’s comments?

    1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

      How many concussions happened in America in lieu of Palin’s comments?

      Not nearly enough.

  8. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Black widows twerk to find mates

    Think Miley Cyrus, but with a few more legs.

    Black widow spiders use jittery, abdominal movements not unlike twerking ? the hip-shaking dance move made infamous by Cyrus ? to navigate the dangerous world of arachnid mating, according to a newly published study from a team of British Columbia researchers.

    Specifically, the vibrations from a “twerking” male black widow tell a female perched on her web that she’s being approached by a potential mate, rather than dinner.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      The difference being – these are invertibrates and not supposedly human beings.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      And here I was thinking black women whose sposes had died.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Sounds like someone gotta a case of the sposes.

        1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKlub5vB9z8

    3. waffles   11 years ago

      The morning news had a segment on black widows too. Except these black widows were arab women going to the winter games in Sochi. No word on whether or not there will be twerking.

  9. SugarFree   11 years ago

    “Like. My penis. For your vagina.”

    The transformation of all Gawker properties into Jezebel is nearly complete.

    1. Warty   11 years ago

      “Too explicit for me to feel comfortable feeling readable”

      If we’re going to become neo-Victorian prudes, can we at least have top hats and sword canes come back in fashion?

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        I have a top hat. The sword cane would get me a felony weapons charge in this communist daymare of a state.

        1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

          Did I mention I got a top hat for x-mas?

      2. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

        How about, can we at least learn how to write grammatical sentences?

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          Nein! I will not be held hostage to grammar. As long as I can make myself understood.

          1. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

            As long as I can make myself understood.

            There is a very good argument for this kind of thinking.

            Many grammatical rules are adapted from Latin and were written with the mindset that language doesn’t naturally evolve.

            Is it really incorrect to say “What are you doing that for?” versus “For what are you doing that?”? Technically the answer is “yes, it is incorrect” but I’d probably punch anyone in the throat for noting such on anything but the most formal of academic papers (and even then I’d likely think the reviewer unqualified if that’s the shit they’re concentrating on.

            Yes “Too explicit for me to feel comfortable feeling readable” is clearly a bad sentence, but it isn’t grammar that’s the problem.

            1. Warty   11 years ago

              To be fair, the main problem is that I wrote “feeling” when the original prude wrote “leaving”. But that’s not the only problem, no.

            2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

              It is a poor sentence…just sayin’

        2. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          You don’t feeling readable that sentence?

        3. SugarFree   11 years ago

          Grammar is nothing but a prison for those ideas that we are not strong enough to confront.

        4. PM   11 years ago

          Grammar is a tool of the patriarchy. And the bourgeoisie.

        5. Brett L   11 years ago

          You mean: How about: Can &c.

    2. Corning   11 years ago

      Kotaku is under the impression that the Gaming industry is particularly hyper-sexist.

      I don’t know if that is Jezebel canon.

  10. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    Sarah Palin went to Facebook to ask President Obama to stop using the race card, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Hopefully she didn’t use any bullseyes or crosshairs.

    1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      Sista Sarah is too stupid to read the article in the New Yorker (she notoriously doesn’t read) and doesn’t know Obama said some people support him only BECAUSE he is black.

      1. Roger the Shrubber   11 years ago

        The race card has two sides, idiot.

    2. Mike M.   11 years ago

      Asking this loathsome cretin to not use the race card is kind of like asking hockey players not to fight. Race and the race card are central to who the man is.

      From the time he was a child, his entire self-identity was constructed around the embrace of the black side of his heritage that he barely knew, and the hatred and rejection of the white side of his heritage that he mostly grew up with and around. His entire first autobiography is about this inner struggle within him and how he chose to deal with it.

  11. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    It’s a miracle!

    Nun gives birth to baby boy, says she didn’t know she was pregnant

    A Salvadorean nun who said she had no idea she was pregnant gave birth in Italy this week after she felt stomach cramps in her convent and was rushed to hospital.

    The 31-year-old mother and her baby boy, who weighs 3500 grams are doing well and other new mothers in Rieti hospital have begun collecting clothes and donations for her, Italian media reports said.

    “I did not know I was pregnant. I only felt a stomach pain,” the nun was quoted as saying at the hospital, the Italian news agency ANSA reported.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      who weighs 3500 grams

      What is that in stones?

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        It’s a weekend’s worth of cocaine is all you need to know.

        1. gaijin   11 years ago

          Excellent!

        2. db   11 years ago

          Is that what it takes to get a nun pregnant?

          1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

            It’s what it takes for anyone to do anything with SF, Warty, and/or STEVE SMITH.

          2. SugarFree   11 years ago

            All that takes is a priest. Finding one that liked fertile women took forever.

            1. BigT   11 years ago

              Q: What kind of sex does a priest have??

              A: Nun

      2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Not many.

        3.5 Kilograms – 7.7 pounds – 0.55 Stone.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          The squirrels ate my greater than signs!

          1. gaijin   11 years ago

            ah. Less than a weekend’s worth of cocaine then. Thanks!

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      Is this the new Cleveland Browns meme around here?

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        The Cleveland Browns let this nun down?

      2. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

        Report: Browns willing to trade up in draft for Johnny Manziel

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          Because trading up for Richardson worked so well.

        2. Rasilio   11 years ago

          How else are they going to continue their fine tradition of letting their fans down.

          Johnny Manziel’s upside is Vince Young with a considerable risk of being Ryan Leaf

    3. 110 Lean   11 years ago

      “I did not know I was pregnant. I only felt a stomach pain”

      Sometimes when you get hit by a bus you get knocked out and are unable to recall that it happened.

  12. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    US technology companies are reconsidering how to do business in China, where they are being targeted by local regulators over allegations of price-gouging and cooperation with American surveillance efforts.

    AND IT’S ALL SNOWDEN’S FAULT. (Even the pricing stuff.)

    1. db   11 years ago

      Probably 85% of the people running those companies would have preferred the information had never come to light. This is the world we live in, surrounded by people who are far more comfortable with that nice soft wool pulled down snugly over their eyes.

  13. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    UKIP councillor blames storms and floods on gay marriage

    A UKIP councillor has blamed the recent storms and heavy floods across Britain on the Government’s decision to legalise gay marriage.

    David Silvester said the prime minister had acted “arrogantly against the Gospel”.

    In a letter to his local paper he said he had warned David Cameron the legislation would result in “disaster”.

    UKIP said Mr Silvester’s views were “not the party’s belief” but defended his right to state his opinions.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      That’s just as scientifically valid as blaming ‘global warming’.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        This comment wasn’t here when I started typing mine, I swear!

        1. hamilton   11 years ago

          Ted, dude, you’re establishing a bad trend for the day with the late hits.

          1. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

            It’s his hamster powered 300baud modem.

    2. Ted S.   11 years ago

      UKIP should have said that blaming it on gay marriage isn’t that much dumber than blaming stuff on global warming.

  14. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

    …there are under 3,000 stray dogs on Detroit’s streets on any given day, far less than the 50,000 another group previously estimated.

    Everyone’s moving out of Detroit.

    1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Hey, if there’s no food, they gotta move elsewhere, and with the reduced edible garbage available, they gotta move.

      1. Corning   11 years ago

        no food

        Urban dog-food desert.

  15. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

    Faux scandal? Not according to David Korb, former IRS Chief Counsel.

    At a tax symposium at Pepperdine Law School last week, former IRS chief counsel Donald Korb was asked, “On a scale of 1-10 … how damaging is the current IRS scandal?”

    His answer: 9.5. Other tax experts on the panel called it “awful,” and said that it has done “tremendous damage.”

    http://taxprof.typepad.com/tax…..al-18.html

    and here:
    http://www.usatoday.com/story/…..n/4647671/

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      how damaging is the current IRS scandal?

      He probably took the question to mean how damaging to the IRS’ reputation. Thus, it’s tremendously damaging.

    2. Fist of Etiquette   11 years ago

      Since then, of course, the new “weaponized IRS” has, in fact, come to be seen as illegitimate by many more Americans.

      It would be seen as that by much of the population if they would bother to report on this story.

      1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

        It’s a fake scandal Fist. Didn’t you get Shreeks newsletter this month? Get informed man!

    3. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      I must have missed the time when the IRS was loved and admired by the US citizenry.

      1. So very tired   11 years ago

        I must have missed the time when someone anywhere claimed that.

    4. Aloysious   11 years ago

      How damaging is the current IRS scandal?

      Not damaging enough.

      1. califernian   11 years ago

        ^This.

  16. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Read the interview, then hear her try to lie her way out of it:

    Woman claims Texans RB Arian Foster is pressuring her to abort his baby

    Arian Foster’s Baby Mama BOMBSHELL AUDIO ‘Arian Never Harassed Me About Abortion’

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

      Updates and Details of Arian Foster’s Reported Lawsuit

      Hey, there’s gonna be a reality show:

      Brittany Norwood stands by her story Arian Foster pressured her to get an abortion

  17. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Sitting At Work For Hours Can Be As Unhealthy As Smoking

    Doctors are urging the millions of people who work at a desk all day to stand up or walk around the office.

    As CBS 2?s Dr. Max Gomez reported, our couch-potato lifestyle is killing us at about the same rate as smoking.

    And it’s not just sitting around at home; it’s also our sit-for-hours workdays that are part of an unhealthy sedentary lifestyle.

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      See it’s a public health issue. We need more people to till fields, dig ditches and build roads, not do work on computers.

      1. Zeb   11 years ago

        Well, it’s a health issue anyway. Encouraging people to get up and move around for time to time seems like a good idea.

    2. waffles   11 years ago

      So if I get up every hour to smoke I’ll be okay?

      1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

        Bingo

      2. Spoonman.   11 years ago

        A winner is you!

      3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

        I’d rather smoke for hours than work, anyway.

      4. PD Scott   11 years ago

        Finally, indoor smoking bans save lives.

    3. lap83   11 years ago

      I worked in catering for years in my 20s even though my other skills were atrophying because whenever I’d try a desk job I’d feel like I was dying.
      Now I freelance partially so I can get up and take a walk whenever I feel like it.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

        My boss makes jokes (or really, he is serious) about working on the weekends to avoid doing his “honey do list.” Then suggests I do the same when I mention doing something around my house over the weekend.

        No, I do not want to spend another two days on my ass working in excel and tax software so I can then spend the next 5 days doing the same. Unfortunately, tax season is looming :-(.

  18. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Supreme Court to Hear Case on Forced Unionization
    …The state claims that the caregivers are government employees since patients receive taxpayer dollars through Medicaid and Medicare. But the issue is more complicated than who is signing the checks, according to lawyers for the National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation (NRTWLDF), which is spearheading the challenge.

    “The Illinois law only defines them as employees in terms of unionization and no other rights at all,” said NRTWLDF lawyer Bill Messenger. “This is a scheme for compulsory lobbying.”

    The caregivers do not receive liability insurance coverage or retirement benefits that other government workers are entitled to, according to Messenger. If the court holds that state governments can force any secondary beneficiary of taxpayer dollars in the union, “vast swaths of the population” would end up paying union dues.

    “All doctors or nurses who care for Medicare patients would have to join a union by that logic,” Messenger said. “What unions are looking at is trying to attach themselves to any kind of government funding.”…

    1. gaijin   11 years ago

      At issue is an Illinois law crafted by imprisoned former Gov. Rod Blagojevich and enforced by his successor Pat Quinn that forces home healthcare workers, including family members caring for relatives, to pay union dues.

      Illinois just continues to press the accelerator while in reverse gear.

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      “All doctors or nurses who care for Medicare patients would have to join a union by that logic,”

      No doubt that’s the end goal.

    3. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

      something similar happened in Michigan a few years back:

      http://www.mackinac.org/17549

      ” . . . .the scheme orchestrated by the Service Employees International Union under Gov. Jennifer Granholm to forcibly unionize home-based caregivers. It also does not mention the $32 million the SEIU has taken from the Medicaid checks of the elderly and disabled in Michigan so it can use the money to make such commercials and push its political agenda. . .

      Gov. Rick Snyder signed a law this year that made the unionization of these caregivers in Michigan illegal because they are not state workers. The SEIU took the issue to federal court and claimed it was a ‘First Amendment advocacy organization.'”

    4. SweatingGin   11 years ago

      They tried to pass a similar law (as a ballot measure) in MI, failed. It was one of the things that lead to putting right-to-work on the table.

  19. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Blair turns down citizen’s arrest at London steakhouse

    Garcia told Vice, an online magazine, that he put a hand on Blair’s shoulder.

    He then told Blair he was under arrest: “Mr. Blair, this is a citizen’s arrest for a crime against peace, namely your decision to launch an unprovoked war in Iraq. I invite you to accompany me to a police station to answer the charge.”

    Blair declined the invitation, and his son called restaurant security. Garcia later resigned.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      With a name like Twiggy Garcia no kidding he’d try that. He should consider a name change. Twitty perhaps?

    2. Cdr Lytton   11 years ago

      Blair declined the invitation

      at which point Garcia proceeded with a citizen’s beatdown to effect the citizen’s arrest. STOP RESISTING!

  20. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    The Left’s War on the Free Press
    As anyone who has been paying attention knows, the left isn’t terribly fond of the free press because the free press makes the narrative harder to control. That’s why you end up with “thought leaders” like Paul Krugman bemoaning the fact that his preferred narrative is “up for argument.”*

    Krugman’s lament is benign in comparison to a pair of other complaints aired this weekend. Remember the story published by Grantland and written by Caleb Hannan that I highlighted? Hannan and his editors were faced with a tough choice: publish a story about someone who was caught lying about her past and then killed herself, or spike it.** They chose to run it. Outrage ensued. Not because their facts were wrong or there was anything untruthful in the piece. But because the person who was caught lying about her past committed suicide.

    That there was some level of angst is unsurprising: In this, the era of perpetual outrage, everyone’s always angry about something. No, what was disconcerting is that there were people calling for the imprisonment of a journalist for committing the crime of reporting….

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      FAKE SCANDAL!!!111!!!

  21. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Why we should subsidise hipster novelists’ housing
    …There is an economic rationalist argument against subsiding housing for artists. After all, these people have made a choice to be in a low-paying high-risk (in terms of success) industry. Why should people who have to clean hospital wards subsidise the housing of some hipster novelist? But without writers living in the city, we also risk missing out on that city’s stories being captured on the page. Who hasn’t read a contemporary novel set in Melbourne or Sydney (not that there are many of them) and thrilled with recognition at the places re-imagined, dense with other people’s interior lives? It’s how empathy develops….

    1. Drake   11 years ago

      So, if we want our cities to be like Disney theme parks, we have to pay the cast members.

      1. gaijin   11 years ago

        +1 Fantasy Life

    2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      We subsudize the housing of people who write good novels by buying their books. If they turn out crap, we aren’t going to pay for it.

      1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

        We can’t let the evil market decide which novels are good. Only a Somalia-loving loonytarian would think that we can.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          I’m insulted that you would accuse me of being a libertarian. I am a conservative, there are just issues where there is overlap in ideology.

    3. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      Sydney ? long ago unaffordable to most jobbing writers ? isn’t a place where you’ll overhear a lot of people talking about problems with plot and character development.

      The reason why so many writers live in New York is the cheap housing there.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        Name one whose work I’d buy. Those starving artist chaps who infest the city were there because publishing houses were they and they thought they could network a print deal (then the industry shifted to the blockbuster model which really screws bother readers and writers)

    4. Zeb   11 years ago

      What could possibly go wrong? Only deserving, sincere and talented artists would ever apply for such a subsidy.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        They should have to submit a novel explaining why they deserve it.

        And then be rejected anyway.

    5. lap83   11 years ago

      Novelists should get day jobs anyway. It makes their work more interesting so they’re not just writing about characters who are lazy, self absorbed writers.

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        Or novels about being with a careful diverse cast of thinly drawn characters in a writing class.

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          I don’t think my rendition of bureaucrats would help my writing much. They’re background characters, since we’re a boring lot.

          1. SugarFree   11 years ago

            A darkly comic novel about a zombie takeover of a bureaucracy that no one actually noticed would be welcome.

            1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

              I think that’s the first suggestion you’ve given me that didn’t skeeve me out.

              I’ll think on that one.

      2. Zeb   11 years ago

        And that. Loads of people write novels in their spare time. And some of them get published.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          It is hard to shift gears, though. And if you have any kind of life outside work, writing gobbles it right up.

          Not that trying to write all day doesn’t have issues as well.

          1. Zeb   11 years ago

            Oh, sure. I’m just reenforcing the point that we are in no danger of having too few writers and artists if we don’t subsidize them. More books are being written and published (even if it is just self publishing on Amazon) than there ever have been.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              Agreed. I was was mostly just whining. 🙁

    6. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

      This is, of course, absurd. No subsidies, and if you want to be a great American novelist, you must pay your dues in the great American way: By being a steamboatman:

      When I was a boy, there was but one permanent ambition among my comrades in our village on the west bank of the Mississippi River. That was, to be a steamboatman. We had transient ambitions of other sorts, but they were only transient. When a circus came and went, it left us all burning to become clowns; the first negro minstrel show that came to our section left us all suffering to try that kind of life; now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. These ambitions faded out, each in its turn; but the ambition to be a steamboatman always remained.

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        I must admit I never found his ‘breakthrough’ story, “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” to be very funny.

        1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

          Just so long as you understand that he is a writing god, that’s fine.

        2. Warty   11 years ago

          That’s because you are a cad.

          1. Pro Libertate   11 years ago

            That goes without saying. He should have to read all of the autobiography and pass a test afterwards.

  22. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Swedes buy insurance to skip long health queues
    More than half a million Swedes now have private health insurance, showed a new review from industry organization Swedish Insurance (Svensk F?rs?kring). In eight out of ten cases, the person’s employer had offered them the private insurance deal.

    “It’s quicker to get a colleague back to work if you have an operation in two weeks’ time rather than having to wait for a year,” privately insured Anna Norlander told Sveriges Radio on Friday. “It’s terrible that I, as a young person, don’t feel I can trust the health care system to take care of me.”

    The insurance plan guarantees that she can see a specialist within four working days, and get a time for surgery, if needed, within 15….

    1. wareagle   11 years ago

      wait a year? That never happens. Anywhere. The proggies keep telling me so.

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      Shocker. On a related note, Swedes in the U.S. have the same health outcomes as Swedes in Sweden. Meanwhile, immigrants in Sweden have significantly worse health outcomes then native Swedes. It’s almost like culture matters more than access to healthcare.

      1. Dead or In Jail   11 years ago

        On a related note, Swedes in the U.S. have the same health outcomes as Swedes in Sweden. Meanwhile, immigrants in Sweden have significantly worse health outcomes then native Swedes.

        [citation needed]

    3. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      It is like that story of Russia ex-pat (posted yesterday by someone, hat tip to whoever it was) who finally came to the US and realized all the “capitalist propaganda” was actually not propaganda. He could not believe such prosperity could exist it until he saw it in the US first hand. Once he realized that life could be so much better, he felt cheated out of his life.

      I think people who live under socialized medicine think this is the best that medicine can be for the people. That there is no better medicine anywhere else. A lot of Canadians I know tell themselves everyday that the US’s system is awful while they wait 6 months to get an appointment with a GI specialist. Any good stories from the US medical industry is taken as propaganda from the “right wing extremist” camp.

      Socialized medicine is the definition of equality through the lowest common denominator.

      1. Elspeth Flashman   11 years ago

        I know someone who moved to Ottawa (Ontario) because they assumed they’d have better access to health care. Then upon arriving discovered that it was hard to find docs accepting new patients. Ironic, I think.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

          I’m currently in that position. My last doc left the country, now I’m calling around with little luck.

          I needed to get an MRI a couple years ago.. took 6 weeks from booking to first open slot. Anecdotal but from what I see, par for the course.

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            Huh. I thought I broke my hand a few weeks back, went to one of those filthy capitalist urgent care places, paid cash and had an x-ray the same night saying the bones were intact. Cost less than my co-pay at the ER too. ($66 for the Urgent Care services in total, $70 minimum payment on checking out of an ER)

          2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Ontario is retarded.

            At least in Quebec there are private options now and you can get an MRI inside two-weeks.

            1. Zeb   11 years ago

              Let’s see. In the US when I’ve had to have a CT scan on two occasions (those machines are a bit more common than MRI, but I expect pretty similar in scheduling) I probably waited half an hour or so.

              1. Rasilio   11 years ago

                I’ve had a couple of MRI’s over the last few years. Neither one took more than 3 days to arrange.

                Also given that I am a big enough guy that I can’t use just any MRI system, only a few of them are large enough to fit me in this is saying something.

                Had I been in a place with socialized medicine I suspect neither would have ever occurred.

                1. Virginian   11 years ago

                  There’s like 300 MRI machines in Canada. Pennsylvania has about the same amount.

                  Not surprising at all that there’s a wait. But it’s FREE!!!! SUCK IT RIGHTWINGERZZZ FREE HEALTHCARE!!!!

                  1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

                    Virginian, EXACTLY. We have less equipment than most systems according to the OECD. It’s a fucking embarrassment.

    4. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

      “It’s terrible that I, as a young person, don’t feel I can trust the health care system to take care of me.”

      Good lord, it’s almost like you’re an adult, or something.

  23. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Historic Law to Un-insure People, Then Insure Some of Them and Claim a Victory for Social Justice
    …Early signals suggest the majority of the 2.2 million people who sought to enroll in private insurance through new marketplaces through Dec. 28 were previously covered elsewhere, raising questions about how swiftly this part of the health overhaul will be able to make a significant dent in the number of uninsured.

    Insurers, brokers and consultants estimate at least two-thirds of those consumers previously bought their own coverage or were enrolled in employer-backed plans….

    …Only 11% of consumers who bought new coverage under the law were previously uninsured, according to a McKinsey & Co. survey of consumers thought to be eligible for the health-law marketplaces. The result is based on a sampling of 4,563 consumers performed between November and January, of whom 389 had enrolled in new insurance….

  24. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    The Young and the ObamaCare-less
    HHS is already rewriting rules to deal with adverse selection.

    Meanwhile, the insurers who conspired with Democrats to pass the law have figured out who’s their daddy. Jay Gellert, the CEO of the Medicaid contractor Health Net complained the other day that this newspaper “has decided that they have a jihad on the Affordable Care Act.” That’s an unfortunate metaphor, but we’ll plead guilty to having predicted the problems that now beset the law. Mr. Gellert is a wholly owned HHS subsidiary who knows he’ll be punished if he doesn’t salute.

    Here’s a question for Mr. Gellert: If everything is going so well, how come the White House is about to ride to the rescue of you and the other insurers that were supposedly the problem ObamaCare was designed to fix?

    1. Drake   11 years ago

      Funny how so many competitive businesses want nothing more than to be a fully regulated utility.

      1. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        And why wouldn’t they?

        The surest way to profit is suckling the government teat and letting it (government) protect you from mean competitors.

        1. Drake   11 years ago

          Sure – but 90% of the marketing and sales staff is fired. Your ROI is capped, and (most importantly to the Execs) Executive pay is capped – either officially or unofficially. You simply can’t walk into a regulatory review meeting and explain why the CEO was paid $5 million last year.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      I sure hope Reason sends you a stipend of some sort. Free Dunkin’ Doughnut gift cards or something.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        However, since the chain is Dunkin Donuts, the gift cards are pretty valueless.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Shit, my bad. Wtf?

          1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

            No, I’m pretty sure Reason pays commenters in valueless non-currency no one will honor.

            1. Rasilio   11 years ago

              So Bitcoins?

        2. Entropy Void   11 years ago

          I do believe Tim’s will honour ye olde Dunkin’ Doughnut gift card, eh?

  25. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Wash. turtle trafficker gets year in prison

    A Washington state turtle trafficker has been sentenced to a year in prison after pleading guilty to a federal conspiracy.

    Nathaniel Swanson owned two reptile stores, including Swanee’s Exotics in Monroe. Prosecutors said that for four years he worked with others to smuggle domestic turtle species to Hong Kong and Asian species into the U.S.

    Seattle U.S. Attorney Jenny Durkan says the turtles had their legs taped inside their shells to keep them from arousing suspicion by moving during shipment, and many died during or soon after transport.

    1. waffles   11 years ago

      How can a man live with that much turtle blood on his hands?

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Just look at the face of one of his victims!

  26. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

    I know my American cousins sometimes feel a sad when it comes to what’s going on in the land of milk (packed with Vitamin R) and molasses. So, in an effort to bring smiles I point you to what goes on in Quebec. Browse around and weep for liberty.

    http://r.duckduckgo.com/l/?kh=…..gspot.com/

    Don’t ever say this Canadian doesn’t empathize. It’s the kinda guy I am.

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      http://nodogsoranglophones.blogspot.ca/

      Oops, eh?

    2. Jordan   11 years ago

      You guys should really just let Quebec declare independence. Or kick them the hell out.

      packed with Vitamin R

      Is this something unique to bagged milk? (seriously, what is Vitamin R)

      1. SugarFree   11 years ago

        It’s a Simpsons reference. Or Canadian milk is fortified with Ritalin.

        1. waffles   11 years ago

          Or Risperdal more likely.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

          Nothing gets passed SF.

        3. Fr?ulein Nikki   11 years ago

          Or just radiation, since all they drink is Parmalat.

        4. PD Scott   11 years ago

          Wasn’t it malk, not milk?

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

            Yes, it was malk.

            Work with me people.

          2. SugarFree   11 years ago

            Yes, malk. Skinner was saving money.

            There was also the Mafia “Animal Milk” product.

            “Rats? I’m outraged! You promised me dog or higher!”

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Jordan, it’s slowly coming to that. Out West they say ‘just go already.’

        Honestly, as a Quebecer best to leave. Problem is the Natives can’t stand Quebec City more than Ottawa (they mostly reject French) and Montreal is a multi-lingual and cultural hub that has been making secessionist noises as well. I’m all for that. You can’t let the fucking assholes in the PQ further sink the joint. They’ve done major damage since 1976. I mean, major.

        At some point, even Ottawa has to step in and say ‘not in Canada’s name’ you will do this.

        1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

          Ottawa is so pussified by Quebec it is embarrassing.

      3. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

        I would love to see someone in the Canadian government not completely bend over to the PQ whenever they start going on about sovereignty and separation.

        1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

          They could start an Anglophone party for Quebec independence.

          1. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

            I’m fine with Quebec separating, I would like to see that happen in Canada from a freedom perspective. However, it is usually used as leverage to get more money from Ottawa to Quebec.

            1. BakedPenguin   11 years ago

              I figure there’s a sizable amount of Anglophone Canucks who’d like to see Quebec leave. The only downside I can see would be travel between the Maritimes and the West. I’m willing to bet an independent PQ would make travel rules so bad it would be easier for Canadians to travel through the US to go from Ontario to Nova Scotia.

              1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

                An independent Quebec would be so myopic and petulant it would be scary. I’m already setting up a contingency plan to leave via my daughter who I do NOT want here. I don’t foresee things getting better in Quebec. Things are bad enough without the PQ, but with them coming in acting like idiots, it’s worse.

            2. Drake   11 years ago

              Same with the English and Scottish. Ingrate leftists who only take the government teat out of their mouths long enough to complain. Good luck sucking your own tit.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      To paraphrase Charles de Gaulle, “Vive le Qu?bec! Vive le Qu?bec unilingue et anglophone!”

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        What a piece of trouble-making shit that guy was.

        Anti-Anglo as they come but guess where he ran to during the war?

  27. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    Shriver presents report highlighting the gender wage gap to an employer ? Obama ? who pays females 13% less than men

    An analysis of White House payroll data reveals that the 229 female employees in the Obama White House are being paid a median annual salary of $65,000 this year, compared to a median annual salary of nearly $75,000 for the 233 male White House staffers. Only gender discrimination could explain that disparity, and therefore Obama must be a sexist.

    Little did Shriver know when she presented her report to the President, and got his support to address the gender wage gap, that she was meeting with a sexist employer who pays his female staffers 13% less on average than he pays his male employees. So hopefully, Obama can work with Shriver and Beyonce and set an example for the rest of America by addressing the 13% gender pay gap at the Obama White House.

    1. wareagle   11 years ago

      and it has not dawned on anyone to ask why close to 500 people are working in the WH.

      1. VG Zaytsev   11 years ago

        A better question is how in the hell Maria Skeletor is an expert on poverty.

      2. Rich   11 years ago

        No wonder they restrict tours of The People’s House!

        1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

          No room to walk from the sound of things.

    2. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

      So, how is median an average? This makes no statistical sense. Not that I really care but if the median was 65 vs 75 so fucking what? The average, or mean for you math kids at home, is entirely different.

      fuck it, what was the Mode then bitches?

  28. Rich   11 years ago

    Former Rep. Patrick Kennedy says Obama is wrong about marijuana, that the drug today is not like what the president smoked

    “it’s much higher THC levels, far surpass the marijuana that the president acknowledges smoking when he was a young person.”

    Would someone *kindly* explain to me why this is not a *positive feature*?

    1. Doctor Whom   11 years ago

      The female lead will have to play the piano so much faster that her fingertips will bleed. Won’t someone please think about the female leads’ fingertips?

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        I suppose it’s possible a Kennedy might surmise that.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Yes, listen to the alcoholic cocaine and oxycontin abuser.

    3. Ted S.   11 years ago

      If Patrick Kennedy wants to fight the War on Drugs, can we put him in jail first? Surely he must have committed some fraud to fuel his prescription drug habit.

    4. Zeb   11 years ago

      It might be a negative if a person who never smoked pot before tries it and doesn’t like it and has a panic attack or something. Otherwise, it is a wonderful thing.

  29. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Naked Woman Wearing Angel Wings Is Busted
    JANUARY 15–A naked woman wearing a pair of angel wings was arrested early yesterday after police spotted her walking on an Arkansas street.

    Christine Lawrence, 47, was busted for indecent exposure after a pair of Mountain Home Police Department officers responded to a 3:20 AM call about “a female walking down the middle of the road with nothing on besides angel wings,” according to a police report….

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      It’s only indecent if she’s ugly. (I didn’t read the article to see the mug shot, which probably isn’t representative anyway.)

      1. Pelosi's Rabbit   11 years ago

        She’s 47 and from Arkansas. The odds are not good.

  30. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    Lonely Florida Guy Sought In Theft Of $300 Jenna Jameson Sex Doll
    An “unidentified white male” fled last month from a Florida adult novelty store with a $300 Jenna Jameson sex doll under his arms, police report….

    1. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      He could probably fuck the real Jenna for $300.

      1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

        He clearly didn’t have $300.

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

          PB is still trying to figure out how odds work.

  31. Longtorso, Johnny   11 years ago

    He was just picking up duct tape and lube for Warty.

    Pantsless Male Motorist In “Female Underwear” Arrested On Way To Lowe’s Store
    A pantsless male motorist wearing “female underwear” was traveling to “get something from the Lowe’s store” when he was pulled over and arrested for driving with a suspended license, Florida police report….

    1. hamilton   11 years ago

      This would be much cooler if he was heading out to Boston Market instead.

  32. Rich   11 years ago

    Your body is your temple, and Justin is here to act as the architect–your design specialist.

    With Justin as your consultant, you will have a judgment-free advocate who will pair you with the doctor who is best suited to you and your aesthetic goals.

    Given that Justin has had 140 plastic surgeries, I’m pretty sure he *is* judgment-free.

    1. SugarFree   11 years ago

      He has a lovely lake-side cottage deep in the heart of Uncanny Valley.

    2. trshmnstr   11 years ago

      Why do guys get the lips done like that? I can’t tell if he’s going for the “feminine” aesthetic, but he could throw on a wig and fool quite a few guys.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        Um, he’s not a “guy”, if you catch my drift.

  33. np   11 years ago

    The toppling of the Lenin statue in Ukraine by protesters last month was just the beginning it seems:
    http://www.sovereignman.com/tr…..ike-13403/

    Criminal extremist activity is now redefined, broadly and loosely, that effectively criminalizes protest, press reports, or social media that is anti-government.

    Insulting a policeman or judge is now a criminal offense. This includes behavior that “patently offends” or “shows insolent disrespect”.

    Blocking of administrative buildings is now criminalized with a 5-year prison sentence.

    Anyone who organizes an assembly in violation of ‘established procedures’ can be arrested.

    The government has streamlined its ability to force Internet Service Providers to block certain websites it deems harmful in its sole discretion.

    New amendments to the criminal code allow pre-trial and trial proceedings to be conducted, even if the defendant is not physically present to defend himself.

    1. np   11 years ago

      (cont’d)

      The laws go on and on. It’s Soviet stuff all over again. And people aren’t taking this lightly.

      In total defiance of these new laws, the gun-toting police thugs, and the bone chilling winter cold, people are once again out in the streets.

      There’s a great video from a few nights ago where the cops were assaulting a few protesters. Then suddenly a swarm of people with nothing more than fists and sticks ran over and began attacking the police.

      Watch the video here. (about 60 seconds in length).

      – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGaR7-9yq_c

      Societies, like individuals, have their own breaking points. Citizens can only tolerate so much abuse before enough of them take action. Sometimes that means meeting violence with violence.

      I wonder where this line is in the West. Back in the Land of the Free, the government has taken every possible step it can to abuse citizens.

      (IMO I don’t see it happening in the US)

      1. Clich? Bandit   11 years ago

        you should stop reading Simon Black…his shit is expensive.

    2. Smilin' Joe Fission   11 years ago

      Insulting a policeman or judge is now a criminal offense. This includes behavior that “patently offends” or “shows insolent disrespect”.

      This is just around the corner in the land of the free.

  34. Rich   11 years ago

    Brains of elderly slow because they know so much

    Another problem for “the bigger haystack” folks — you may *eventually* find a needle.

    1. robc   11 years ago

      Damn, I knew I was too smart.

  35. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

    I’d bet that if allowing private enterprise to contract for themselves the plowing of streets in downtown Lexington IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING DONE THIS MORNING.

    Government monopoly FTW!

    My street in the sticks is in as good a shape as those in the middle of downtown Lexington. A Top Man sat around and decided that plowing FUCKING DOWNTOWN for what was a known snow storm (we’re doing about an inch an hour at my house right now) wasn’t necessary. AND YET WE CONTINUE TO PAY THESE FUCKERS!

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      It’ll warm up soon enough and the snow will melt. This keeps the people who can’t handle the snow inside, which is a good thing.

    2. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Personally, I think they’ve already run out of salt. The last few pissant dustings, the street were whiter from salt than snow.

      What’s going to fun is going home, when the temp drops from 34 to 19 by 4pm.

      1. kinnath   11 years ago

        The colder it gets, the easier it is to drive. Ice is not slippery (any more than glass is). Wet ice is really fucking slippery.

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          I’m not worried about driving on ice. I’m worried about the other idiots around me driving on ice.

          This town would be great if it wasn’t for all the fucking people in it.

          1. robc   11 years ago

            Add in the fact that Lexington has the stupidest road system in history.

            WHO PUTS FUCKING LIGHTS ON PARTS OF THEIR FUCKING LOOP ROAD?!?

            Part of 4 having lights is worse than all of it having lights.

            1. SugarFree   11 years ago

              Evansville did this on their “Expressway.” WTF?

              Although the spotlighted portion of 4 was an existing roadway incorporated into the loop road.

              Have you eaten at Momma’s Mustard, Pickles & BBQ? I really enjoyed the lunch I had there.

              1. robc   11 years ago

                Although the spotlighted portion of 4 was an existing roadway incorporated into the loop road.

                Then build a fucking elevated road over it that is still limited access.

                This is the point. There is nothing wrong with a spoke city system as long as there are useful roads for getting between spokes.

                Lexington is missing those. 4 and MoW are both awful.

                1. SugarFree   11 years ago

                  Elevated road? Roads can be in the air?!?

                  1. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

                    In the air, under water, underground. You can build ROADZ anywhere.

                2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

                  It’s really only the north side of New Circle that sucks. The south, east, and west sides are all expressway-like.

            2. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

              Part of 4 having lights is worse than all of it having lights.

              How yo know robc isn’t from Lexington.

              No local calls it 4. It’s New Circle.

              Which doesn’t change the fact that putting lights on the northern third of it is a terrible fucking idea.

              1. robc   11 years ago

                4 is shorter to type. When talking with Lexingtonians I know what to call it.

    3. robc   11 years ago

      UPS prevented Louisville from being that way.

      After the 1994 debacle, UPS told the city that they WOULD keep the roads clear or Worldport was moving.

  36. Lord Humungus   11 years ago

    last night I watched “Night Moves” (1975) with Gene Hackman and an 18yo Melanie Griffith (who can’t seem to keep her clothes on). A bit of old-fashioned film noir that would have worked as a B&W flick from the 40-50s.

    My brother once commented that Star Wars killed off Hollywood as we once knew it, the push toward blockbusters instead of more adult-themed movies.

    Another recent movie I watched – Fail Safe (1964) – was so serious that you could cut through the tension with a knife. It was like Dr. Strangelove minus the jokes. Heck, even old Twilight Zone episodes explored serious themes better than the dreck that comes out these days.

    1. Ted S.   11 years ago

      Jaws was the first summer blockbuster, two years before Star Wars.

    2. Palin's Buttplug   11 years ago

      The 70s/early 80s was the quality peak for studio films.

      Big budget sci-fi and slasher films then took over.

      1. Ted S.   11 years ago

        The 70s/early 80s was the quality peak for studio films.

        The studio system was largely breaking down by the 70s, as the studios were selling off their backlots. Look at the threadbare state of the MGM lot in the contemporary scenes from That’s Entertainment! in 1974, for example.

    3. SugarFree   11 years ago

      Little too tall, could have used a few pounds.

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        Bob…Seger?

        1. SugarFree   11 years ago

          And we’d steal away every chance we could
          To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods

          1. Mainer2   11 years ago

            Did she have points all her own sitting way up high ?

        2. kinnath   11 years ago

          you must be a young whipper-snapper if you have to ask that

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

      I personally am totally pulled in by American film-noires of the 50s.

    5. gaijin   11 years ago

      Fail Safe…an excellent movie all around. Simple idea, and yet that tension you mention was carefully crafted to last much longer than one wold have thought. Of course, the ending seems woefully outdated in our current world of blamecasting.

    6. Steve G   11 years ago

      If you liked Fail Safe, you may like this book:

      http://www.amazon.com/Command-…..nd+control

      1. db   11 years ago

        Try “On the Beach” too.

    7. db   11 years ago

      “Gene Hackman? Aw, he’s good in anything!”

  37. mad libertarian guy   11 years ago

    The White House is lobbying Congress to pass legislation that would extend to the president more authority to negotiate trade deals with other countries.

    Just what I want. President Not My Fault negotiating trade.

    1. kinnath   11 years ago

      Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon.The pigeon knocks over all the pieces, shits on the board and then struts around like it won the game.

      1. Rich   11 years ago

        I imagine that’s an old joke, but I never heard it before. LOL!

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   11 years ago

        I heard that somewhere. Regardless, HILARIOUS.

      3. DontShootMe   11 years ago

        You sir, owe me a new keyboard and monitor. Whee, that made my morning.

      4. db   11 years ago

        Very true.

  38. Mike M.   11 years ago

    Man who’s daughter was killed in a car crash receives mailing from OfficeMax addressed to “Mike Seay, Daughter Killed in Car Crash.”

    Not surprisingly, he’s upset and pissed and wants to know how they got that information. And personally I don’t blame him.

  39. Mainer2   11 years ago

    There doesn’t seem to be a site that has a list of the 85 people richest people in the world. But oh the comments on the various reports I have found. Nearly all are piling on to hate on the nasty rich people. What I want to know is how many are russian oligarchs, saudi princes, third world despots and the like.

    1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

      Well a lot of uber-rich are good at hiding their wealth even the public ones like Ingvar Kamprad.

      Kamprad has lived in Epalinges, Switzerland, since 1976. According to an interview with TSR, the French-language Swiss TV broadcaster, Kamprad drives a 1993 Volvo 240, flies only economy class, and encourages IKEA employees always to write on both sides of a piece of paper.[16] He reportedly recycles tea bags and is known to pocket the salt and pepper packets at restaurants.”[4] In addition, Kamprad has been known to visit IKEA for a “cheap meal”.

      1. Mainer2   11 years ago

        That made me smile. My old man recycles tea bags, too.

        But who are the other 84 ? The articles I’ve found list a few (Gates, Buffet, Carlos Slim.) But for all the uproar about these monstrous rich people, I can’t seem to find a definitive list of who they actually are. Just that they are rich and that’s BAD.

        1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

          Other than Forbes, I dunno. I think it’s quite difficult to come up with a definitive list as a lot of them really do go to tremendous lengths to hide their wealth for obvious reasons. Rupert Murdoch’s pretty famous for they byzantine complexity of his holding companies.

          1. Rasilio   11 years ago

            Not to mention the difficulty in separating the personal wealth from national assets in the case of some of these mid east Sheikhs like the Saudi’s

  40. Loki   11 years ago

    A survey by an animal welfare group found that there are under 3,000 stray dogs on Detroit’s streets on any given day

    I’m here to talk to you about a very serious issue: pack of stray dogs that control most major cities.

    1. Mercutio   11 years ago

      “If you take a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.” — Mark Twain

      1. Mercutio   11 years ago

        Oops, “principle” should be “principal”. I need to look more closely when copying and pasting. Also, when are we going to get an edit button here?

  41. Sevo   11 years ago

    Any idea how long it’ll be before the city gov’t in SF tells you what color you can paint your house?
    “S.F. architecture shifts to darker tone”
    …”as ubiquitous as food trucks […] could spread across some districts like an oil spill.”…
    Yep, crying out for government regulation right there!
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..160395.php

  42. The Late P Brooks   11 years ago

    What I want to know is how many are russian oligarchs, saudi princes, third world despots and the like.

    Does the Queen of England count as a third world despot?

    1. Mike M.   11 years ago

      Partly, though I think she’s voluntarily stepping down (stepping down from what exactly, no one truly knows).

    2. UnCivilServant   11 years ago

      Actually, given how much of the crown assets were appropriated by parliment, the royal family is probably only in the millionaire list, not in the top richest.

      1. Sevo   11 years ago

        Well, since those assets were ‘appropriated’ from the citizenry, I’ve yet to find my sad face for the royal family.

    3. Mainer2   11 years ago

      Wellm, Oxfam published a report decrying how 85 people contol half the world’s wealth (where I have I heard about income inequality lately ?), but I can’t seem to find the list of who the 85 actually are. My suspicion is that they are either people like Gates, who created wealth, or third world scum who appropriated wealth.

      Shockingly, even Brian Williams was light on the details when he reported this last night.

      1. Snark Plissken   11 years ago

        or third world scum who appropriated wealth

        Like Carlos Slime, part owner of the NYT?

  43. Warty   11 years ago

    I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLLL

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   11 years ago

      I heard about that on the radio, so I am not clicking.

    2. Steve G   11 years ago

      I made it 1:12 and lost resolve. But hey, at least he must be feeling better!

  44. GILMORE   11 years ago

    “Sarah Palin went to Facebook to ask President Obama to stop using the race card, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.”

    …because life is precious, and God, and the bible.

    John? please feel free to explain how this isn’t a case of Really Stupid Politicians Doing Idiotic Shit, and how we all just THINK that because KulturWar!! and elitisms etc.

    also = I don’t know what form I forgot to fill out but I never received my own Race Card. Do I have to go to the DMV? I hope not. Meanwhile, I’ve been using Pok?mon and no one’s even noticed.

  45. Entropy Void   11 years ago

    “A survey by an animal welfare group found that there are under 3,000 stray dogs on Detroit’s streets on any given day, far less than the 50,000 another group previously estimated.”

    What the hell do you think they have been eating there?

    1. Steve G   11 years ago

      I want one of final 3K, thems survivors!

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