A.M. Links: Obama To Outline NSA Reforms, Kerry Urges Syrian Opposition To Attend Peace Talks, Protesters in Thailand Wounded By Explosion

Matthew Feeney | 1.17.2014 9:00 AM

(NSA/Wikimedia)

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
Secretary of State John Kerry has urged the Syrian opposition to attend a peace conference scheduled to begin next week.
Thirty-six anti-government protesters in Thailand have been wounded by an explosion.
A United Nations report claims that it would cost up to 4 percent of global economic output by 2030 to "contain" climate change.
The lawyer who represented a man who was executed in Ohio yesterday says that the execution, which was carried out using an untried method, was "a failed, agonizing experiment."
The latest Adobe's Photoshop CC update includes a 3D printing tool.

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Snark Plissken 10 years ago

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
He really wants to reign in the NSA but those damn bloodthirsty Republicans in Congress have tied his hands.
1. Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago
  
  “Let me be clear, I will promise only enough to get everyone, maybe even Fox, to drop this story.”
2. wareagle 10 years ago
  
  he keeps reading all these stories about the agency and it just pissed him off.
3. Brian D 10 years ago
  
  Proposed reform #1: NO TATTLE-TALES!
  1. Ted S. 10 years ago
    
    I feel sorry for the banana section.
4. sarcasmic 10 years ago
  
  “If you like your privacy, you can keep your privacy.”
  1. Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago
    
    “We are enhancing your privacy. If your existing privacy is inferior to our superior privacy, you will have to pick a compliant privacy plan.”
    1. Rich 10 years ago
      
      Damn it! Quit giving them ideas!
      1. Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago
        
        What do you mean? It is already in their script.
        
        Rich 10 years ago
        
        *** waxing semi-serious ***
        Please show me the list of compliant privacy plans.
        
        Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago
        
        “We have to pass it to see what is in it.”
  2. CatoTheElder 10 years ago
    
    “If you like your privacy, you can keep your privacy. Asterisk.”
5. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
  
  Here’s what I expect. Some platitudes then a firm commitment to launch an investigation into intelligence activities–an investigation run by the intelligence agencies–which will result in recommended changes that will properly balance security with liberty.
  1. prolefeed 10 years ago
    
    which will result in recommended changes that will properly balance security with decrease liberty.
    1. BakedPenguin 10 years ago
      
      That’s what he said.
    2. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
      
      I meant that’s what he’s going to say–balancing–not that it’s actually going to happen (nor do I think our fundamental rights can be offset because of some claimed security need). I can guarantee that it won’t.
      1. JW 10 years ago
        
        It’s always a safe bet with Barry, to take the inverse of what he’s saying, in order to understand what he’s actually doing.
        He’s the Joe Isuzu of presidents.
Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago

A United Nations report claims that it would cost up to 4 percent of global economic output by 2030 to “contain” climate change.
Oh, I think they want to charge more than 4%.
1. waffles 10 years ago
  
  It’s a bargain at any price. We’re talking about saving the planet here! Do you have any spare planets?
  1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
    
    We’re finding more every day.
    1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
      
      Current estimates are in the tens of billions of habitable planets in the galaxy. If our area is about average then the nearest one is probably about 12 light years away.
      1. Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago
        
        So the Planet Loving Left wants to reduce all human life on this one to 1492 levels.
      2. BigT 10 years ago
        
        Are relocation costs included?
      3. some guy 10 years ago
        
        The habitable zone of the galaxyis shaped like a donut because the center is too dense to support life. The outer regions are less likely to be able to support life because there’s less star formation. We’re basically sitting in another Goldilocks zone, so habitable planet density in our area should be relatively high.
      4. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Well, getting there may be a challenge. We already have to lie about even escaping our own solar system.
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        If we get a ship up to a decent fraction of light speed, we can get a new story about it leaving the solar system even more frequently!
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Someday, an enterprising young man will take a starship and cross the edge of the solar system over and over again.
        That edge, of course, is about 100,000 AU out, at the outer fringes of the Oort cloud, not the 100 or so AU Voyager is at now.
        I just looked up a related point and ran across this IEEE dissent from the media and NASA’s claims about Voyager leaving the solar system.
        
        some guy 10 years ago
        
        It all comes down to how you define “edge of solar system”. Each possible definition can be objectively measured, but picking a single definition is purely subjective.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        You know, I don’t buy that. There’s no exact border, no, but I think it’s ridiculous on any number of levels to suggest that the edge is the heliopause. There are thousands of AUs from there to the edge of the Oort cloud, which orbits the sun.
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        I’m still down with our gravity based definition. Manifest destiny galactic edition!
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Our legal claim is indisputable, though I think we’d better file first before some other stellar system comes up with this concept.
        
        CE 10 years ago
        
        The orbit of Neptune should suffice, since it’s now the last planet out.
        
        Corning 10 years ago
        
        since it’s now the last planet out.
        HA!!!
      5. prolefeed 10 years ago
        
        Current estimates are in the tens of billions of habitable planets in the galaxy.
        Current estimates are wild-ass guesses, since no one has yet visited a single inhabitable planet other than Earth. Takes very little to make a planet uninhabitable.
        
        UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        And it doesn’t take a whole lot to build a habitable shelter in an uninhabitable environment. No matter what we do here, I’m pretty sure we’ll still be around unless it’s something catastrophic. Our cities will just move and change character, as will the primary food sources.
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        Yeah, telescopes and math don’t exist.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        While it’s possible that Earth is insanely unique for some reason, I rather suspect in a galaxy with hundreds of billions of stars that this situation is duplicated a number of times, probably in the many millions.
        That doesn’t necessarily mean intelligent or technological life, though to have free oxygen, an inhabitable (for us) world will likely need living organisms to maintain it.
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        At least in terms of size, composition, and solar energy received, the Earth is not even remotely rare.
        
        trshmnstr 10 years ago
        
        The point that i think you’re making (and that I agree with) is that we’re working with a sample set of 1. We know life exists on Earth, and that’s it. The scientists make guesses about the extremes of where life can survive by looking at the most extreme forms of life here on Earth, but that tells us precious little about the situations where life can be created, only where life can adapt to given billions of years to evolve. Currently they’re speculating on inhabitability based mainly on the size of the gravity well, the surface temperature, the color temperature of their star, and the chemical composition of the atmosphere (does it include water, are there any known toxic chemicals detected).
        Who knows if that is all that’s required to create and sustain life.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        I think we’ll have an answer if we find life elsewhere in the solar system. I suspect we’ll find fossilized life on Mars (and maybe some microbial or fungal life of some sort) and maybe something a little more advanced on one of the icy moons, like Europa or Enceladus.
        If so, then we’ll know that life can arise fairly easily, though, to be fair, it’s possible that life here might’ve arisen in just one place and spread through panspermia.
  2. BardMetal 10 years ago
    
    How much money is 4% of global economic output? About 10 trillion dollars maybe? I bet we could colonize Mars or the Moon for that kind of money.
    1. Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago
      
      AND RUIN THEM, TOO?
      1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        Imagine the catastrophe if we started pumping out greenhouse gases on Mars!
        
        waffles 10 years ago
        
        It might become warmer than some parts of Canada?
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        Shudder
        Just thinking about ruining Mars like that makes me sick.
        
        Live Free or Diet 10 years ago
        
        It might become warmer than some parts of Canada?
        I’m trying to remember who it was here who bragged to me that Canada invented frozen food.
        
        Corning 10 years ago
        
        Canada invented frozen food.
        What the hell were the Siberians doing 12,000 years ago?
        “Chief chief the mammoth meat froze again!!”
        “I guess we now all starve.”
    2. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
      
      You could probably terraform Mars for that kind of money.
      1. Clich? Bandit 10 years ago
        
        Mars’ problem isn’t environmental. As noted it can be rather easily terraformed. Mars’ biggest problem is the lack of a significant magnetic field to shield it. Anything you do will be wiped away by the first X class flare. Plus Nikki will grow another boob and Arnold will blow up your mountain.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        That’s true enough, but I’ve wondered before whether we could artificially create a magnetic field to shield the planet from radiation. I’ve read some articles that suggest that Mars’ magnetic field is dormant due to some crystallization or something in its core.
        
        Clich? Bandit 10 years ago
        
        Large amounts of differential spinning Iron (as in liquid with currents or solid core with flowing liquid shell etc.) is what creates our magnetic field. Mars’ core supposedly solidified millennia ago thus no differential spinning. An artificial planetary magnetic field would be quite something for our current technology to create.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Nuke the core?
        What I was referring to was an article suggesting that Mars’ core might be merely dormant, not permanently solidified. Of course even if that’s true, in geological (or areological) terms, that could be a long time if we can’t nudge it at all.
        
        Clich? Bandit 10 years ago
        
        If it isn’t solid then it would have differential rotation. So melting it (via radioactive decay) would be one way but if all the radio topes’ are gone how you gunna put them back?
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        I dunno. Let’s go there and try to figure it out.
        
        Clich? Bandit 10 years ago
        
        Do they make Trappist beer there? Cause if not I am hard pressed to be convinced to go.
        
        Corning 10 years ago
        
        Nuke the core?
        10 billion breeder reactors that you let melt down and burn holes to the core should do the trick.
        Also with a think warm atmosphere wouldn’t that heat up the planet?
        I mean without an atmosphere wouldn’t earth have long ago frozen its core as well? I read that in Antarctica the ground 1000s of feet down is frozen.
        
        NotAnotherSkippy 10 years ago
        
        The atmosphere doesn’t really have anything to do with it. Mars is significantly smaller so it had less primordial isotopes to begin with. It basically used up its nuclear fuel. The exact opposite occurs with fusion in stars, i.e. the big ones die young.
        The longer term problem would be no plate tectonics to recycle material like carbon into the atmosphere. That would eventually result in a carbon-starved world much worse than Earth is now. Remember at ~200ppm of CO2 and below plants stop growing.
        
        NotAnotherSkippy 10 years ago
        
        Not really. You just need a few orbiting dipoles. Conveniently there are lots of NiFe asteroids right next door to Mars. Move a few into orbit (possible with existing technology), wrap some conductors around them, pump current through the coils and poof! orbiting magnet. All of that is achievable with today’s technology but would require some hefty engineering.
        
        Corning 10 years ago
        
        Mars’ biggest problem is the lack of a significant magnetic field to shield it.
        50 feet of rock would do the trick. Just dig a hole and live in it.
2. Zeb 10 years ago
  
  They’re just making shit up. You could spend 10 trillion and it would probably accomplish nothing.
  1. BigT 10 years ago
    
    it would probably accomplish nothing.
    We’d all feel better.
    1. Zeb 10 years ago
      
      All the mindless progressives and little tin-pot dictatorships in the UN would anyway.
  2. some guy 10 years ago
    
    “up to 4%” includes 0%. It also includes negative costs.
    Technically true is the best kind of true?
sarcasmic 10 years ago

This man was arrested for clicking ‘like’ on a Facebook status
http://dailycaller.com/2014/01…..z2qaiyr8NC
The host of a Memphis online radio show was arrested Tuesday after he “liked” the Facebook status of a woman who filed a restraining order against him.
1. Rich 10 years ago
  
  In related news:
  House Democrats offer bill demanding government study on Internet hate speech
  What could possibly go wrong?
  1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
    
    Think of all that archived metadata they could examine
    1. Rich 10 years ago
      
      I hate to think of it!
      1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
        
        ARREST THIS MAN!
        /DNC
2. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
  
  Matthews had multiple child pornography charges brought against him last November after posting an image depicting child pornography to his Facebook page more than a year prior. The Commercial Appeal based in Memphis reports the image showed a sex act between a man and a child of less than 5-years-old.
  So the guy is probably a POS, but what an infantile culture to think liking a FB video violates a restraining order.
  1. Irish 10 years ago
    
    So the guy is probably a POS, but what an infantile culture to think liking a FB video violates a restraining order.
    It does violate a restraining order. If you’re not allowed to contact someone, it’s irrelevant how you contact them. You’ve still violated the restraining order.
    1. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
      
      It’s the fucking law, right?
3. Brett L 10 years ago
  
  No contact means no contact. If he called her phone and hung up, he would have been violating the no contact order. I have no sympathy for people who can’t understand that.
4. Steve G 10 years ago
  
  how in the hell, could he even have done it if a) they were still ‘friends’ or b) her FB privacy settings weren’t set to full retard?
  1. AlmightyJB 10 years ago
    
    I had one where some chick in I think maybe Russia (altough I can’t translate her page or her name for that matter) just “accepted” my friend request. Which is interesting since I never sent her one.
    1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
      
      Let me speak for your significant other when I say
      Suuuuurrrrrrreeeeee.
      1. Live Free or Diet 10 years ago
        
        Heh. That’s pretty much the reaction my wife gave me.
    2. Live Free or Diet 10 years ago
      
      I got one like that last year from some woman soldier in South Korea. My wife was not amused.
    3. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
      
      Facebook should be renamed Insecurebook.
Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago

The latest Adobe’s Photoshop CC update includes a 3D printing tool.
I can 3D print that endangered black rhino to hunt and not get red eye.
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  But my red-eyed printerbots were my favorite minions. I can’t get that effect intentionally!
2. Steve G 10 years ago
  
  3D print some ancient Chinese ED treatment…
3. AlmightyJB 10 years ago
  
  Lemme know when I can print a photon torpedo cannon.
  1. some guy 10 years ago
    
    I just want to be able to 3D print the 25 year-old me at will. Also, I want brain transfers.
Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago

Hello.
Salutes Ted S. with AC Milan espresso cup.
Booya!
1. Ted S. 10 years ago
  
  Have fun not playing in a UEFA competition next season!
  1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
    
    Ouch!
    Low blow.
    1. Ted S. 10 years ago
      
      At least they’ll be able to focus on their real mission, which is avoiding relegation to Serie B!
      1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        You’re killing me.
2. Dead or In Jail 10 years ago
  
  You’re no Rufus J. Fisk; you’re an imposter. What did you do with my friend?
  1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
    
    I think it’s the other way around. We’ve gone over this.
    And be careful.
    I’m Canadian.
    /slips tuque and snowshoes on.
    1. Fr?ulein Nikki 10 years ago
      
      Isn’t it crampon season up there by now?
      1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        It’s always crampon season here.
        /narrows eyes.
        
        Fr?ulein Nikki 10 years ago
        
        It’s January and I miss my old stompin’ grounds! And by stompin’ I mean slip-sliding down Peel… (I used to be all “fuck the Plateau” but when I lived there I realized how flat it was)
        
        Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        I always got creeped out when I would drive up to Montreal and a few miles after the border all the mountains just stopped.
        
        Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        Ha!
        And English stops too…or at least, the PQ try in all their idiotic glory.
    2. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
      
      That’s exactly what an imposter would say!
    3. Dead or In Jail 10 years ago
      
      I want to be the fourth member of Rush. What should I do?
      1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        Ask Bubbles!
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA9E7BLOxXg
      2. prolefeed 10 years ago
        
        I want to be the fourth member of Rush. What should I do?
        Drastically lower your musical expectations?
  2. Rufus J. Fisk 10 years ago
    
    Rufus J. Fisk signed teh Declaration of Independence…..YESTERDAY!!!!!
sarcasmic 10 years ago

American Apparel stirs up controversy for giving storefront mannequins pubic hair
Popular store featured three mannequins with unkempt bikini lines
Aim is to ‘start a conversation about society’s concept of feminine beauty’
Firm keen to bring ‘rawness and newness’ to ‘Hallmark’ Valentine’s holiday
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..front.html
District Visual Manager Dee Myles told the Observer that the display is meant to ‘bring rawness and newness to a holiday thought of as a romantic Hallmark holiday. . . by exploiting the lust of Valentine’s Day.’
Because nothing says “lust” like bush spilling out of underwear.
1. Rich 10 years ago
  
  LOL
  ‘start a conversation about society’s concept of feminine beauty’
  What is this “society” to which you refer?
  1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
    
    What is this “society” to which you refer?
    That’s the question of the day. Few things are more stupid than believing and prosthelytizing that “society” can form a coherent thought about anything at all. Many men in American society are plenty glad that women put razor to bush, others enjoy picking stringy pubes from their teeth after they go down and chow box.
    1. BardMetal 10 years ago
      
      What if you just like things to be trimmed up?
      1. Live Free or Diet 10 years ago
        
        Bingo.
        I’m all for fuzzy as a squirrel’s tail and all, but those mannequins look like somebody stuffed a tribble colony down their drawers.
      2. The Last American Hero 10 years ago
        
        You mean you vote 3rd party on pubic trimming too?
2. Ted S. 10 years ago
  
  There are all sorts of fetishes out there.
  If they really wanted to be controversial, they’d have the mannequins with cigarettes in their mouths.
  1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
    
    Are German bukkake’s a fetish?
    1. Jordan 10 years ago
      
      Bukkake is basically missionary in Germany.
    2. BardMetal 10 years ago
      
      Ewww I don’t even want to know what the German version of a bukkake is. Das ist einige schmutzig SchieBe.
      1. some guy 10 years ago
        
        It involves exactly one cup.
      2. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
        
        Vollgespritzt!
  2. Rich 10 years ago
    
    Or mannequins with cigarettes spilling out of their underwear.
3. Pope Jimbo 10 years ago
  
  So after 5 years of Obama people are trying to bring Bush back?
4. wareagle 10 years ago
  
  because Lena Dunham has not been enough conversation; we need more and the less romantic, the better.
5. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
  
  Aim is to ‘start a conversation about society’s concept of feminine beauty’
  I’m pretty sure society doesn’t think that masculine pubic hair sticking out of speedos is beautiful either.
  1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
    
    With very few exceptions (legit athletes), nothing about men in speedos is beautiful.
    When I went on a European cruise last year, I quickly realized that Europeans have no sense of shame or think about the welfare of others when they dress in swimwear. There is no reason for anyone to ever be subjected to seeing packs of wrinkly old men wearing speedos. I’d rather be subjected to an eternity of a naked Lena Dunham than seeing groups of old European men in Speedos.
    1. Brett L 10 years ago
      
      Eh. My goal in life is to get one of those European hard-fat bellies wait for my beard to turn full white, and then set about embarrassing my wife and child(ren) by going with the Eurospeedo at the beach every year.
      1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
        
        My goal in life is to get one of those European hard-fat bellies wait for my beard to turn full white, and then set about embarrassing my wife and child(ren) by going with the Eurospeedo at the beach every year.
        But you know full well that you won’t look good, and that’s the difference. The entire point is to embarrass your family (an admirable goal, BTW), not dress stylishly, which is what Europeans think they’re doing when they put on a speedo.
    2. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
      
      Old Australian guys in Speedos are ok, right?
      1. Steve G 10 years ago
        
        Until their dermatologist gets a hold of them
      2. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
        
        If skin cancer turns you on, that’s hot.
6. lap83 10 years ago
  
  If you’re a feminist whose job is to make window displays for American Apparel, you probably have to perform all kinds of mental gymnastics to make it palatable. I wouldn’t be surprised if the store display person got the job just so they could troll the company from the inside.
Karl Hungus 10 years ago

Houston man gives change to homeless person, is then assaulted by man in costume:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/od…..ts-postbox
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  Words fail me
2. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
  
  He had it coming. Doesn’t he know only the government can perform charitable acts and lift people out of poverty?
  Sheesh. Work with me people!
  1. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
    
    Listen, bub, I don’t know what fairyland you come from, but in the real world drug dealers regularly cruise the streets looking for homeless people to give drugs to. I mean, they just walk right up to them and hand them the drugs! Free of charge! They do that! And they do this because drug dealers are irrational beings who are only motivated by their evil desire to see all of us, I mean all of us addicted to their poison. They cackle and twirl their mustaches at the mere thought of it! Thank goodness those brave police officers where there to prevent this irrational act of drug charity! And even though the man didn’t actually hand the homeless man drugs, it is necessary to question one innocent man, lest 10 guilty go free.
3. Trials and Trippelations 10 years ago
  
  For once the comments to the story actually blame the police.
  1. Karl Hungus 10 years ago
    
    I like slumming Yahoo’s comments quite frequently. While the caliber of the commentary isn’t anything to get excited about, I’m glad to say that when there’s a story about police brutality, the commenters tend to be overwhelming angry about it.
4. Karl Hungus 10 years ago
  
  Will Grigg just commented on this story on another site. He called it a “tax feeder flash mob.” I kinda like that.
sarcasmic 10 years ago

A VERY rich breakfast: Customer charged $1,666 for dining at a Waffle House has to FIGHT to get the money refunded
Jim Andrews’ bill for breakfast for him and his wife should have been $16.51
The bill he accidentally signed was for $1,666
When he explained the mistake with the cashier, the cashier just argued with him
After taking the mistake up with the restaurant’s corporate office, the charge was reversed
The mixup was the result of a sticky 6-key on the credit card machine
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..HOUSE.html
I hope that cashier is unemployed.
1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
  
  But. They works so hard! They owed a job even if they perform poorly.
  1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
    
    That better be one heck of a waffle.
    1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
      
      I seem to recall seeing a show where they had meals in the $1500 range. I think one actually might have been a waffle. I am sure that one was a Sundae with edible gold.
    2. waffles 10 years ago
      
      Better than me anyway.
    3. some guy 10 years ago
      
      Condor eggs. Vesuvius-preserved Pompeii flour. Amur Tiger milk.
      Tastes like shit, but this isn’t about the taste. It’s about flaunting wealth.
      1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
        
        Endangered Species Kabob?
        Bigfoot Sirloin grilled over Moon Rocks?
2. Bardas Phocas 10 years ago
  
  Related:
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dya0UU0meD4
sarcasmic 10 years ago

Going the extra mile: Make-up free Ali Larter indulges in yoga session while filling her car up at petrol station
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ation.html
I miss Heroes.
1. Redmanfms 10 years ago
  
  I don’t, it sucked.
  1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
    
    I think you were watching for the wrong reasons.
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

407-foot-wide Eagles record spins atop Los Angeles concert venue
A 407-foot wide disc billed as the world’s largest vinyl record is spinning in Los Angeles to mark the reopening of a concert venue with shows by the Eagles.

The giant record, which has been spinning at 17 mph since New Year’s Day atop The Forum in Los Angeles, is made to resemble a giant version of the Eagles’ 1976 single “Hotel California.” It heralded the Jan. 15 reopening of the venue following a $100 million renovation with a series of “History of the Eagles” concerts from the classic rock band, NBC’s “Today” show reported.
it would look more impressive if set on fire
1. Redmanfms 10 years ago
  
  I’ve had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles man.
  1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
    
    Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.
  2. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
    
    Out of my fucking cab!
2. Ted S. 10 years ago
  
  All that vinyl for shitty music?
  1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
    
    All that vinyl for shitty music?
    That was exactly my thought. If I could erase one band from history it would be either The Eagles or Styx.
    1. hamilton 10 years ago
      
      You bastard. I hope Mr. Roboto sets fire to your house.
    2. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
      
      What an angry young man.
      1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        Don’t be silly, you’re only fooling yourself.
3. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  Replace it with a giant deep dish pizza.
4. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
  
  I don’t why The Eagles are so hated around these parts. I like them. Saw them live even. Joe Walsh is an entertaining beast.
  1. waffles 10 years ago
    
    I think it’s due to the popularity of The Big Lebowski and that they realy only have like 4-5 different sounds, for decades.
    1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
      
      Waffles, 4-5 different sounds? Seems a lot to me for a band. How many do Zep, the Stones and Who have? Beach Boys? The only great band I can think of that has multiple layers of sound and styles are The Beatles.
      1. RBS 10 years ago
        
        Maybe he meant they only play 4-5 songs on the radio?
      2. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Led Zeppelin might be a bad example.
      3. mr simple 10 years ago
        
        You’ve never actually listened to any of those bands have you?
    2. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
      
      “One chord is fine. Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz.”
  2. Fr?ulein Nikki 10 years ago
    
    Are they actually hated around these parts, or are these all Big Lebowski references?
    Rufus, I will join you in admitting I like the Eagles. But not so much “Hotel California.”
    1. RBS 10 years ago
      
      I don’t hate them but I think their music is incredibly boring. So I don’t listen to them.
      1. RBS 10 years ago
        
        I’m eagerly awaiting John to tell us all what our musical tastes should be…
        
        Corning 10 years ago
        
        Who needs john when i am here!!!
        This is what you should be listening to:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKD-MVfC9Ag
        and this:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEH_LSL4rVw
        VIDEO GAME MUSIC IS THE FUTURE!!!
      2. Zeb 10 years ago
        
        That’s about where I am on the Eagles. I don’t find their music unpleasant at all, but I’d never put it on deliberately.
  3. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
    
    I join the group of actual haters, not just Big Lebowski related either.
    1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
      
      Guelphs and Ghibillines are forming here.
      1. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
        
        Almost as vituperative as Fisk v. Firefly 😉
    2. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
      
      Yeah. You honkeys are crazy.
      1. General Butt Naked 10 years ago
        
        Must be self-hatred.
        Because if I had to name one band that personified “Honky-ness” the best, it would definitely be the Eagles and after them the astonishingly more boring Fleetwood Mac.
  4. Ted S. 10 years ago
    
    For me, it’s more a hatred of the song “Hotel California” than of the Eagles in general.
    1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
      
      Does ‘Stairway to Heaven’ the same hatred too?
      1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
        
        How could it, considering all those school dances with your hands in the back pockets of your partner’s Levis?
5. Zeb 10 years ago
  
  spinning at 17 mph
  What does that even mean? You can’t measure angular velocity in mph.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
    
    I’m guessing it was “17 rpm” but editors gotta edit, even when they have no fucking clue what they are editing/talking about.
  2. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
    
    I took it to mean that a point on the rim of the “album” traveled 89,760 feet in an hour.
    1. some guy 10 years ago
      
      That’s usually what they mean. The rim is the only place it practically makes sense to measure a speed.
      1. Zeb 10 years ago
        
        Not so much with a record. There you probably want to know something like the average speed of the groove throughout the record since the cartridge has to deal with the full range of speeds.
Snark Plissken 10 years ago

The latest Adobe’s Photoshop CC update includes a 3D printing tool.
The next environmental catastrophe, landfills overflowing with plastic penises.
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  You know you can re-melt the plastic used in 3D-printers?
  Oh wait, it’s Plissken. Sorry.
  1. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
    
    Environmental catastrophes are too important to waste time with logic!!!
    1. Agammamon 10 years ago
      
      You missed a prime ‘call me Snark’ opportunity.
      1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
        
        I thought he was dead?
Rasilio 10 years ago

“A United Nations report claims that it would cost up to 4 percent of global economic output by 2030 to “contain” climate change.”
Well up to includes 0% so they are not wrong
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Parenting style linked to kids’ Internet addiction
Young adults who recall their parents being tough or demanding without showing affection tend to be sad or to have trouble making friends, and those personality traits raise their risk of Internet addiction, the researchers say.

“In short, good parenting, including parental warmth and affection, that is caring and protective parents, has been associated with lower risk for Internet addiction,” said lead author Argyroula E. Kalaitzaki of the Technological Education Institute (TEI) of Crete in Heraklion, “whereas bad parenting, including parental control and intrusion, that is authoritarian and neglectful parents, has been associated with higher risk for addiction.”
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  But how do they explain the HNR commentariat?
  1. hamilton 10 years ago
    
    How could our parents have been such assholes if we’re still living in their base… um, I mean, I had a good upbringing too.
2. SugarFree 10 years ago
  
  I wasn’t breastfed.
  1. Fr?ulein Nikki 10 years ago
    
    Me neither, SF.
    HOLD ME!
    1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
      
      I wouldn’t do that, I hear diabetes is contagious
      1. SugarFree 10 years ago
        
        I wouldn’t do that, I hear diabetes is contagious
        That’s a half-truth!
    2. SugarFree 10 years ago
      
      [hugs]
3. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
  
  parental warmth and affection
  the only warmth I got was the stinging rebuke of not being a member of the clean plate club.
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

The lawyer who represented a man who was executed in Ohio yesterday says that the execution, which was carried out using an untried method, was “a failed, agonizing experiment.”
They should have used an umbrella.
1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  It could have been worse – death by Ke$ha
Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago

http://www.tomdispatch.com/pos….._blowback/
“In the waning days of the Bush presidency, Special Operations forces were reportedly deployed in about 60 countries around the world. By 2010, that number had swelled to 75, according to Karen DeYoung and Greg Jaffe of the Washington Post. In 2011, Special Operations Command (SOCOM) spokesman Colonel Tim Nye told TomDispatch that the total would reach 120. Today, that figure has risen higher still.
In 2013, elite U.S. forces were deployed in 134 countries around the globe, according to Major Matthew Robert Bockholt of SOCOM Public Affairs. This 123% increase during the Obama years demonstrates how, in addition to conventional wars and a CIA drone campaign, public diplomacy and extensive electronic spying, the U.S. has engaged in still another significant and growing form of overseas power projection. Conducted largely in the shadows by America’s most elite troops, the vast majority of these missions take place far from prying eyes, media scrutiny, or any type of outside oversight, increasing the chances of unforeseen blowback and catastrophic consequences.”
Obama didn’t expand war and the deficit. Sure. Shh. Sure, he didn’t.
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  Aren’t there only something like 193 countries worldwide?
  1. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
    
    According to FIFA 208. It has more members than the UN.
    Soccer. She powerful.
    1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
      
      But FIFA members include entities that are not independent states – England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland for a start
      1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
        
        If they can do that, why doesn’t the US send someone from each state?
        
        invisible furry hand 10 years ago
        
        Because US membership wasn’t a big deal a century ago. FIFA was founded by Belgians with a desire to centralise power and go on junkets. The Brits didn’t join, partly because they were suspicious of Johnny Foreigner and his big plans, but mostly because it had separate football associations and competitions, and didn’t want to amalgamate them and only have one vote in FIFA. FIFA needed the home of football to actually join the international football organisation, so it let each association join as a separate member.
      2. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        True but the list doesn’t include the Vatican, Kirbati, Monaco (not sure about San Marino) which are included on the UN side.
        
        Ted S. 10 years ago
        
        San Marino is a FIFA member. They’re one of the whipping boys of Europe like Liechtenstein or the F?roe Islands.
        
        Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
        
        Yeah. How stupid of me.
        Too funny.
        
        robc 10 years ago
        
        and Iceland…oh wait.
        I so wish Iceland had eliminated Croatia and made the WC. That would have been amazing.
      3. Apatheist ?_?? 10 years ago
        
        Gibraltar is the newest member too.
  2. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
    
    No worries, we’ll get to the rest of them….soon!
    /SOCOM
    1. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
      
      De libero, oppressum?
      1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
        
        *tries to applaud, but is too tightly restrained by zip tie*
invisible furry hand 10 years ago

Man Arrested For Waving a Sign Warning Drivers About a Speed Trap
http://gawker.com/man-arrested…..1503182281
1. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
  
  Colorado drivers signal each other when there’s a cop by flicking their lights to high beam, then back to normal. So you have a little advance warning of a speed trap.
  1. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
    
    What makes you think that’s just a Colorado thing? (If indeed you believe that.)
    1. Virginian 10 years ago
      
      Yeah last week I had a bit of a fright. I blinked a car coming the other way to warn him of a speed trap. Except it turned out I was blinking a cop. I was very nervous checking the rear view to see if he turned around to pull me over for interfering with the course of revenue collection justice.
      1. some guy 10 years ago
        
        I never warn strangers about cops. Odds are the guy I’m signalling is a statist-supporting dick who will get what he deserves.
        
        Atanarjuat 10 years ago
        
        Yeah, I once flicked my lights to warn about a speed trap and it was the other cop, who turned around aggressively, got behind me and turned his lights on. Obviously pissed him off. I wasn’t speeding though, and some guy sped by so he peeled off to pull the other car over.
    2. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
      
      OK, I am hoping it will spread. I just know I’ve seen it done in CO.
      1. KDN 10 years ago
        
        I don’t think it’s anything new; I’ve seen that done since I was in kindergarten.
  2. BardMetal 10 years ago
    
    We do that in Ohio too.
  3. robc 10 years ago
    
    Kentuckians shake hands and say hello when meeting someone.
    WTF?
    1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
      
      That’s wrong.
      I’ve been assured that Kentuckians, upon meeting someone, engage in a howdy-doody type dance screaming YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAW, followed by sipping moonshine and spitting it on one another.
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Abbey in Spencer, Mass., produces first U.S. Trappist beer
A community of monks in central Massachusetts has begun producing the first Trappist ale to be brewed outside Europe.

In a statement on their website, the monks of St. Joseph’s Abbey said the decision to start the Spencer brewery, named after the town west of Worcester where the abbey is located, was one of necessity. The order is required to make enough money to support its members, something the monks have done in the past with Trappist Preserves.
1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  Numero uno, I already alerted yall to the Trappist beer.
  Numero two-o, are trappist preserves like black rhino preserves?
  1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
    
    I’ve seen the Trappist preserves around, but I might* actually buy the Trappist beer.
    * will
  2. MP 10 years ago
    
    Still, it’s nice to see the Globe story get picked up a week later by UPI for International distribution. What I found most interesting about the story was the massive expenditure that took place here for which the monastery, whose “lack of income” claims was the supposed justification for building the brewery, was completely mum about the source of the capital.
    Once I fall off the No Carb wagon in March, I’ll give this a try.
    1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
      
      I suspect they got a loan. But I don’t know.
2. DEG 10 years ago
  
  A beer run to Massachusetts is called for.
3. robc 10 years ago
  
  The trappist monastary in KY makes great cheese, Im pissed they dont make beer…yet.
  1. Clich? Bandit 10 years ago
    
    I feel compelled to brag about how I am the most qualified Trappist connoisseur on this site. I am bummed as now I have to go to MA to keep with the “I have been to all the Trappist breweries” thing I got going.
    Westvletteren (three times) FOR THE WIN!
Bee Tagger 10 years ago

The latest Adobe’s Photoshop CC update includes a 3D printing tool.
Oooo, I’ve always wanted a sepia-toned gun.
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  +1 Filter Effect.
2. BardMetal 10 years ago
  
  Hey that gives me an idea. We should make AR-15s sepia-tone so that the control people think they are antiques.
3. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
  
  How about removing all the noise?
  1. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
    
    Nothing? Nothing? You guys suck.
    1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
      
      You just couldn’t hear our replies.
    2. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
      
      It was good. Don’t dumb it down for a bonehead mass audience.
sarcasmic 10 years ago

The lawyer who represented a man who was executed in Ohio yesterday says that the execution, which was carried out using an untried method, was “a failed, agonizing experiment.”
I still don’t understand why they don’t just give them an overdose of opiates.
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  Too many FDA forms to fill out
2. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  he might get addicted to them
  1. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
    
    +1 think of the childrens.
3. Drake 10 years ago
  
  Don’t Veterinarians euthanize animals every day without any drama?
  1. WTF 10 years ago
    
    Don’t Veterinarians euthanize animals every day without any drama?
    Yup. They shoot them full of an overdose of tranquilizer which literally puts them to sleep and then they inject a second drug which stops the heart. No pain, no drama, no bullshit.
4. The Last American Hero 10 years ago
  
  Should have had Obama do it. I heard he’s good at killing people.
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Obama’s phony IRS investigation
President Obama dismissed the IRS’ harassment of conservative groups as a “phony scandal,” so it’s little wonder his administration has conducted a phony investigation into it.

Why else would they appoint Barbara Bosserman ? a partisan lawyer who gave thousands of dollars to Obama and the Democratic National Committee ? to lead the DOJ investigation? Bosserman’s appointment is highly unusual. She hails from the civil rights division, not the criminal division. At the House Oversight Committee’s hearing yesterday, the DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz admitted that in his 12 years at DOJ under 3 different presidents, he did not ever recall the civil rights division investigating tax law matters.

So why did the Obama administration choose this lawyer from the civil rights division over all the criminal division attorneys to lead the IRS investigation? Maybe it’s because the civil rights division in the Obama Justice Department is a hotbed of liberal partisans ? as evidenced by the president’s recent appointment of a lawyer for convicted cop killer and left wing cause c?l?bre Mumia Abu Jamal as the head of said division.
1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  To be fair, this*is* a civil rights issue.
2. Palin's Buttplug 10 years ago
  
  Phony scandal. Really. Hope for another one to come along.
  1. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
    
    derp-ity derp
    http://online.wsj.com/news/art…..ding_now_3
    That’s the big, dirty secret of the omnibus negotiations. As one of the only bills destined to pass this year, the omnibus was?behind the scenes?a flurry of horse trading. One of the biggest fights was over GOP efforts to include language to stop the IRS from instituting a new round of 501(c)(4) targeting. The White House is so counting on the tax agency to muzzle its political opponents that it willingly sacrificed any manner of its own priorities to keep the muzzle in place.
    
    …snip…
    
    Yet my sources say that throughout the negotiations Democrats went all in on keeping the IRS rule, even though it meant losing their own priorities. In the final hours before the omnibus was introduced Monday night, the administration made a last push for IMF money. Asked to negotiate that demand in the context of new IRS language, it refused.
    1. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
      
      or what KDN said below
  2. BigT 10 years ago
    
    Since this is ‘phony’ then you would be happy with President Santorum denying tax-exempt status to various liberal commie groups?
    1. Palin's Buttplug 10 years ago
      
      Investigations found no link to the White House (reported here at Reason).
      And liberal groups were “targeted” too.
      1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
        
        Government investigations now government wasn’t at fault! That’s a fucking relief.
        And yes, liberal groups were targets about about a 20:1 ration, perhaps even worse. So shut the fuck up.
      2. BigT 10 years ago
        
        Liberal groups were not targeted. They were included, but received their tax exemptions in very little time. ONLY the conservative groups were denied/delayed.
    2. Palin's Buttplug 10 years ago
      
      CMON! You guys can do better than this!
      Where are your ratfuckers? What is James O’Keefe doing? Just fucking bribe someone or something!
3. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
  
  I think they’re going to regret not at least firing a few people and instituting some fake reforms, because when the Republicans take over Congress, they’re going to be able to use this to do some massive damage to the administration.
  1. Palin's Buttplug 10 years ago
    
    A few heads did roll. The acting IRS commissioner was one of them.
Auric Demonocles 10 years ago

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
I hope one of them is to stop stealing the alt-text.
Bardas Phocas 10 years ago

In the $1.1 Triyooon budget bill: Winners and Losers (you/me/america).
The IRS gets $526 million less in the bill than last year’s pre-sequester level despite warnings that level is not sufficient to maintain quality customer service. The bill also contains embarrassing language forbidding the agency from politically targeting people and wasting money on frivolous items like the infamous Star Trek promotion video.
http://thehill.com/blogs/on-th…..1t-omnibus
What will we do without their “quality customer service”?
My gums bleed for them.
1. KDN 10 years ago
  
  Related: IRS Targeting and 2014:
  As one of the only bills destined to pass this year, the omnibus was?behind the scenes?a flurry of horse trading. One of the biggest fights was over GOP efforts to include language to stop the IRS from instituting a new round of 501(c)(4) targeting. The White House is so counting on the tax agency to muzzle its political opponents that it willingly sacrificed any manner of its own priorities to keep the muzzle in place.
2. some guy 10 years ago
  
  Without customer service you’ll never even know you’re being audited. (Until you go to jail. Then you’ll know.)
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Tattoo Le Monde
The French succumb to the scourge of self-mutilation.
France is three or four decades behind Britain in cultural degeneration but is making valiant efforts to catch up. One straw in the wind I noticed a few years ago was the arrival of a tattoo parlor in the small town near where I live when I am in France. This alarmed me. I had mistakenly thought that the French had too much taste to go in for this form of self-mutilation.

Since then, much slippery slope has been slid down. According to a recent article in Lib?ration, 400 professional tattooists operated in France in 2003. Now, only ten years later, there are 4,000. I doubt that any other industry has grown nearly as fast, and many may have contracted as quickly. According to one of the newspaper’s informants, if the trend continues, tattooists may soon be as numerous in France as hairdressers.
*le sniff*
1. waffles 10 years ago
  
  Tattoos and piercings are cultural degeneration? I think French economic and employment policies are more self-mutilating than 4,000 tattoo parlors.
  1. Ted S. 10 years ago
    
    I think tattoos are unsexy, but that’s just me.
    1. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
      
      back before the tattoo craze took off, I had a GF in college with quite a number of them. It seemed exotic and fun at the time. Now tats are as common as dirt.
    2. Rufus J. Firefly 10 years ago
      
      I agree with you Ted. To each his or her own.
    3. robc 10 years ago
      
      I also agree.
      And a tramp stamp is especially so. Tat on the small of the back is a stop sign.
      My fiancee has zero tattoos. And she did have her ears pierced at one time but they grew back closed.
      So we are pretty much mutilation free.
  2. grrizzly 10 years ago
    
    Tattoos and piercings are cultural degeneration?
    Absolutely.
    1. itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
      
      Please tell me you’re joking…
      How in the fuck is me, putting art on MY body cultural degeneration? I can’t warp my thinking enough to make the first bit of sense out of that…
      1. grrizzly 10 years ago
        
        I’m not joking in the slightest. That hideous self-mutilation is perceived as art by many is exactly why it’s appropriate to call it cultural degeneration.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        Your opinions on what is and isn’t art are moot.
        People with tattoos aren’t degenerates, they didn’t sign some secret contract with teh debul in order to get their ink. Just because someone has a tattoo or a piercing doesn’t mean they are promiscuous, a drug user, or anything else that you might consider “degenerate”. They don’t go out and cause trouble just because they want to.
        Tattoos are a form of art whether you like it or not, and it has been that way for centuries. Just because it doesn’t conform to your narrow view of the world doesn’t make it evil.
        
        M. Samuels 10 years ago
        
        Tattoos are a form of art
        Yup. Just like graffiti. Except graffiti “artists” put their “art” on someone else’s property, whereas cultural degenerates let others put “art” on them. This, to the paintee, is called “expressing myself.”
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        Yup. Just like graffiti. Except graffiti “artists” put their “art” on someone else’s property, whereas cultural degenerates let others put “art” on them. This, to the paintee, is called “expressing myself.”
        This is thoroughly retarded and narrow minded drivel.
        First, graffiti and tattoos are not the same. Tattoos are art that is put on my property by my will. Graffiti is art that is put on my property against my will. If you haven’t been paying attention, that’s a fairly huge distinction around these parts.
        Second, I still haven’t heard even a single explanation as to WHY I am a degenerate because I have tattoos. What is inherent about tattoos that makes them degenerate? All I’ve heard so far is “tattoos are evil and you’re a bad person for having them”. Ok, lets hear your reasons why instead of ignorant ramblings.
DEG 10 years ago

Japanese soldier who didn’t surrender until 1974 died yesterday
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  I want to be tasteless and ask if he finally made a Bonzai charge against the American position.
  1. BardMetal 10 years ago
    
    Call that tasteless? You could ask if he’s raping the great Chinese city of Nanjing in the sky now.
    1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
      
      Tasteless would be saying he spent all that time reading tentacle porn.
      1. BardMetal 10 years ago
        
        While bayonetting Chinese civilians, and testing bubonic plague on the population of Manchuria?
        
        Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
        
        Yeah, that too.
  2. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
    
    Wait, do you mean bonsai or banzai? If it’s the former, I’m having trouble picturing a charge with a tiny tree.
    1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
      
      Well, he has dementia.
    2. Heroic Mulatto 10 years ago
      
      You couldn’t let that one tower go unkicked, could you?
      1. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        I simply seek clarification. Perhaps he was a bonsai enthusiast during his jungle years?
        
        UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        How can you not picture a charge with a geriatic Japanese man holding a tiny tree like a sword, screaming long life to the Emperor and trying to hack apart Otaku tourists. It’s not what I originally envisioned, but it is glorious!
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        Yes, he shaped his tree into a sword. Of course. Bonsai!
Bee Tagger 10 years ago

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
Making MLB’s progress toward replay reform look downright rapid.
KB Check Release 10 years ago

A United Nations report claims that it would cost up to 4 percent of global economic output by 2030 to “contain” climate change.
I love how the UN thinks that Nations out East like India, China, and Indonesia really give a crap about their view of climate ‘change’
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Monkey Quarantined After Biting Incident
The employee said he was helping to remove plates for the customer’s car. When he was finished, he walked over to the window of the car and saw a man sitting with a white-bellied spider monkey named Brodi.

The man asked if he could pet the monkey, and after getting permission, put his hand inside the car. The monkey smelled his hand and then bit his right thumb, according to the police report. The bite mark caused a small puncture wound and started bleeding.
Never pet someone else’s monkey in a car
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  Never pet someone else’s monkey in a car
  FIFY
2. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  Wasn’t this a movie?
3. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
  
  “That’s not my monkey.”
  1. Rich 10 years ago
    
    “Minkey.”
    1. WTF 10 years ago
      
      “Do you have a lahzense for that minkey?”
4. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
  
  Would you like to touch my monkey? Love him!
  1. hamilton 10 years ago
    
    Now is the time on Morning Links where we DANCE!
    1. Pro Libertate 10 years ago
      
      Your comment grows tiresome.
Hawk Spitui 10 years ago

Well, Monday is MLK Day! Time to place your bets on who will write this year’s If I Had A Hammer sermon! Will it be Gillespie? Maybe Welch? Shackford is always good for spilling blood all over the page. Or will we get the Full Monte, with every editor at Reason bombarding us in a Sanctimony Spectacular? Step right up and play your hunch!
1. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  Wat
2. Ted S. 10 years ago
  
  If I had a hammer
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

I still don’t understand why they don’t just give them an overdose of opiates.
It’s called crime and PUNISHMENT for a reason.
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

I just threw up a little…
Nancy Pelosi loves Colin Kaepernick’s ‘big arms’ and ‘tattoos’
After showing off a 49ers charm bracelet and mentioning that she’d like to take her grandchildren to the Super Bowl (again), Pelosi got really excited about San Francisco quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

“We love our quarterback, the tattoos, the big arms, the whole deal,” Pelosi said.
1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
  
  Yeah, she sounds like she really knows football well. I’m not surprised she’s attended a Super Bowl.
  1. Snark Plissken 10 years ago
    
    It’s not authentic, like Obama’s love of sports and especially the Miami “Heats”.
    1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
      
      He’s a huge fan of the White Sox, and their star player… um.. you know, uh, that guy… with the glove! I mean, the Cubs had some pretty cool guys too.
      1. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
        
        His supposed love for the White Sox is only a cultural marker. In Chicago, the Cubs are linked with rich, uptown types, while those who live on the South Side (read: poor blacks and hispanics) identify with the White Sox. He’s just trying to show the Chicago ghetto that he’s one of them.
2. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  “Kick a touchdown!”
  1. Ted S. 10 years ago
    
    I kickee touchdown!
DEG 10 years ago

In case this didn’t show up elsewhere:
Winner of black rhino hunting permit auction receives threats
1. BardMetal 10 years ago
  
  I’ll never understand the psychology of people who claim to have all the love and compassion in the world for animals, and yet are willing to threaten the life of a human being. A human being whose actions are doing far more to save these animals then the whiny vegan pussies that are threatening him.
  1. Virginian 10 years ago
    
    They’re idiots. They don’t understand how important hunting is to legitimate conservation.
    It’s all about intentions.
  2. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
    
    A human being whose actions are doing far more to save these animals then the whiny vegan pussies that are threatening him.
    This.
2. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  Should have gone for a white rhino instead. RACIST!
Rich 10 years ago

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
Uh, huh. Will anyone be broadcasting it?
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  Isn’t CSPAN obligated to?
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

John Yoo sez Obama’s NSA Reforms: Giving More Rights to Terrorists than Americans
Why should foreigners have any privacy rights against the United States government? Privacy is a constitutional right that a citizen has against his own government ? I have no more a right of privacy against Saudi Arabia’s government than a Saudi Arabian should have against NSA surveillance. Under the Privacy Act, an American has the right to see the information held on him or her by the government ? will Dr. Zawahiri, the head of al-Qaeda, have a right to request his government file now?

The suggestion shows that the Obama administration seems to worry as much about the rights of potential terrorist suspects as it does about the Americans who are their potential victims.
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  I really want a full accounting of John Yoo’s internet history, emails, and cellphone calls.
2. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  We’re only spying on dirty foreigners, trust us!
3. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  Fuck Yoo cut spending.
  1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
    
    +1
4. wareagle 10 years ago
  
  Why should foreigners have any privacy rights against the United States government?
  I mean seriously; why should foreigners expect to be treated better than citizens who evidently have no privacy rights, either?
  1. BardMetal 10 years ago
    
    I don’t know. Our soldiers would get in serious trouble if they were caught beating the shit out of an unarmed Afghan, but cops in America get away with beating unarmed homeless men in America, land of the free.
    So maybe foreigners have good reason to suspect they would be treated better.
invisible furry hand 10 years ago

Neknomination – the drinking game that is my country’s gift to the world
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  the viral trend, including a man skolling a beer before nailing his testicles to a table, then skolling another beer in the process.
  Methinks this man has issues beyond alcoholism.
  1. Wandering Texan 10 years ago
    
    Didn’t South Park do a thing on this?
    Not the drinking, but the media alarmism.
2. Redmanfms 10 years ago
  
  Umm, isn’t the point of drinking games to get drunk? This seems like it would take too long to be, uhh, effective at achieving that end.
  1. Agammamon 10 years ago
    
    For us normal people. Down in Austria, land of poisoned crossbow wielding giant man-eating spiders this is just what you have to do all day to stay sufficiently anesthetized to function.
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

Nintendo Sees Loss on Dismal Wii U Sales
Videogame Console Maker Struggles Against Mobile Competition
Nintendo Co. cut its earnings forecast for the year ending in March to an operating loss, and slashed its estimate for the number of its flagship Wii U game consoles it expects to sell to a third of its initial projection?dealing a grim blow to the company’s hopes that holiday sales would revive its flagging fortunes.

The dismal numbers show that the iconic game maker failed to generate strong year-end sales of its gaming software and consoles–particularly the Wii U, which has struggled ever since it was released, amid competition from games played on social networks, mobile phones and tablets. Nintendo has kept its software off such platforms, arguing that its success depends on keeping alive the player experience, on its own dedicated hardware.
1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  I always thought a gimmicky design was their impediment. You know, the awkward touchscreen controller that’s too big, the annoying two-screen system, etc.
  1. Jordan 10 years ago
    
    Yeah, the Wii was a fluke. They can’t count on non-gamers to save them this time. I think Nintendo will eventually go the route of Sega, and we’ll see Mario and Zelda on Sony and Microsoft’s next next generation consoles.
    1. Trials and Trippelations 10 years ago
      
      Yeah, the Wii was a fluke. They can’t count on non-gamers to save them this time. I think Nintendo will eventually go the route of Sega, and we’ll see Mario and Zelda on Sony and Microsoft’s next next generation consoles.
      I used to think this wouldn’t happen because Nintendo is so stubborn. I think Nintendo of America and stockholders will help prevent Miyamoto and others more traditional folks from getting their wish of letting Nintendo go bankrupt rather than become a software developer
  2. Rasilio 10 years ago
    
    I think their real problem is they just havn’t caught on to 2 realities about the console gaming world….
    1) The only thing gamers care about in a console is graphics and game titles. Since the best game titles require the best graphics that means Graphics is really the only thing that matters and Nintendo has been consistantly 2 generations behind Microsoft and Sony in their graphics quality
    2) The era of the Console as a dedicated gaming machine is over. Consumers expect their gaming console to be a centralized media center
    1. sticks 10 years ago
      
      2) The era of the Console as a dedicated gaming machine is over. Consumers expect their gaming console to be a centralized media center
      Then why does the new PS not even play CDs? or for that matter not have the ability to connect to a media server over a local network(could be wrong but I remember not being able to figure that out when playing with friend’s ps4)?
      1. Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        People still buy CD’s?
        
        Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago
        
        Eddie Murphy just rented them.
      2. Jordan 10 years ago
        
        I think they said they’re working on adding back media server functionality, since people were pissed that it wasn’t there. Did not know about the inability to play CDs…
    2. Redmanfms 10 years ago
      
      2) The era of the Console as a dedicated gaming machine is over. Consumers expect their gaming console to be a centralized media center
      They do?
      If they did Xbone should be outselling PS4, but it isn’t.
      PS3 could play DVDs and Blu-Ray, but Sony only sold the same number of consoles as Microsoft.
      Supposedly the number of “unique” (meaning they only owned the one console) 360 owners was higher than that of the PS4, though I haven’t seen the number on that in years. It was an article in Gamer from a few years back.
      People want game consoles, to play games. All of the extraneous “media/entertainment center” shit Microsoft added really hurt their sales.
      1. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
        
        It may have hurt their sales, but it’s pretty cool. Our Xbox One is on whenever we are in the room. Our PS 4 is one when were are playing a game on it.
      2. Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        PS3’s only edge over the Xbox 360 was only in the Blue Ray disks. XBox could still play DVD’s.
        I’ve never played Play Station so I can speak to it with any authority but my understanding was that the Xbox had a better internet interface for accessing online media content.
        With the current generations of the consoles (PS4, XBox One) PS4 is winning primarily becuase of some of the marketing screwups MS made around the always on, mandatory Kinect, and no resale of games decisions. Both consoles function as a centralized media server
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        I have both an Xbox 360 and a PS#. Like the latter better and use it to access Instant Video, play DVD/BlueRays, and so on.
        Both are decent, so this is just a matter of favoring one over the other. The Kinect is much better than the Move, though.
        
        Pro Libertate 10 years ago
        
        PS3, that is.
    3. Don Mynack 10 years ago
      
      Our old Wii has a Netflix interface that works fine for the kids. The problem with the Wii is the controller sucks for a bunch of games, but works great for certain stuff.
      The XBox 360 is much better for sports or shootting games.
      I haven’t touched to new consoles and won’t until they get new titles.
      1. Don Mynack 10 years ago
        
        Whoops, I mean more games. Need coffee.
    4. Apatheist ?_?? 10 years ago
      
      If that’s all they cared about then they would just buy PCs.
      1. Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        Not really, a lot of games don’t translate very well to the PC.
        I found Skyrim basically unplayable on my PC and had to pick up a copy for the XBox to even get as far as Whiterun.
        
        UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        Funny, I had no problems with Skyrim on PC. After my first playthrough, I found out how easy it was to add Mods, some of which fixed the quibbles with the interface.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        I found Skyrim basically unplayable on my PC
        I really don’t get this. How is it unplayable? A friend of mine made this same claim, and I really don’t understand why. Maybe you could explain the difficulties you had with the PC version?
        The only type of game that I play that is better on consoles are racing games (which is a moot point if you have a wheel for PC).
        
        Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        The tracking of the mouse.
        At first I just assumed I needed a higher end mouse so I went out and droped $70 on a midrange gaming mouse. I was never able to find a sensitivity setting that was playable. It was always either move the mouse a quarter of an inch and you’ve turned the character a full 90 degrees or having to move the mouse the equivalent of 3 feet to turn 90 degrees.
        Since you actually had to point at your target, even for melee combat it was basically impossible to actually survive a fight.
        
        Agammamon 10 years ago
        
        Yeah, that’s mouse smoothing – why that’s enabled by default no-one knows since its only useful if your getting ridiculously low FPS.
        But it can be turned off in the .ini
        
        Apatheist ?_?? 10 years ago
        
        Skyrim is your example? That’s absurd, Elder Scrolls is a PC series ported over to consoles, not the other way around.
        There are better examples but they can all be fixed by plugging in a controller. I have a 360 for Windows controller for any game like that.
        
        Apatheist ?_?? 10 years ago
        
        Also, that wasn’t one of the 2 things you referenced. Graphics will always be better on PCs and PCs will always be a more powerful and diverse media device. The advantage of consoles is convenience.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        The tracking of the mouse…
        As Apatheist said… that’s absurd. There are sensitivity settings for that if you’re not able to control the movement. It’s even a nice sliding scale so you can get the exact sensitivity you want…
        point and click attacking is far more accurate and smooth than a control stick. Microsoft did a test back when Gears of War came out. They were going to let PC gamers play with console gamers. They pitted mediocre player (on PC) against professionally ranked players (on console). The PC players destroyed them, easily.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        Also, my friend and I did a test of this. He’s amazing at Halo on the console. He’d play online and outscore everyone else combined sometimes. Ridiculous good. I’m decent at pvp in shooters, at best.
        We set up a few computers with Halo on them, he used an Xbox controller, I used KB/M. We played to 50 and I beat him 50 – 20.
        There’s no real comparison between the two. KB/M is a far superior control scheme for aiming.
        
        Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        “As Apatheist said… that’s absurd. There are sensitivity settings for that if you’re not able to control the movement. It’s even a nice sliding scale so you can get the exact sensitivity you want…”
        And like I said, I tried them ALL on my original mouse, thought the problem was the mouse was just the basic mouse that came with the computer bought a gaming mouse and tried all of it’s sensitivty settings. All totaled I spent more than 10 hours fiddling with it and never once found a playable setting.
        In general I agree, Mouse/KB is superior to a control stick but there are games where I have found that to not be the case and given that I have maybe 100 hours a year to devote to video games not called Everquest (my wife gets pissy with me if I play anything else) it is not like I have the time to start going into the engine and fixing shit that should just work on whatever platform I am using with whatever input devices I have available to me.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        And like I said, I tried them ALL on my original mouse, thought the problem was the mouse was just the basic mouse that came with the computer bought a gaming mouse and tried all of it’s sensitivty settings. All totaled I spent more than 10 hours fiddling with it and never once found a playable setting.
        I have a hard time believing you tried ALL the sensitivity settings. It’s a sliding scale, not a “pick one” choice.
        Where were you adjusting the setting at? There are multiple places that it could possibly be adjusted from (windows settings, buttons on the mouse, mouse software settings, in game settings)??
        
        Agammamon 10 years ago
        
        They translate *very* well to PC – its that most of the time they’re ported poorly.
        Skyrim had a UI geared (poorly IMO) towards using a gamepad instead of M/KB. and FOV set for a tv across the room instead of the monitor 4 feet from your face. At least you could access the engine options easily enough to fix some of those flaws (mouse smoothing, frame-rate caps? On a PC?)
        IMO, a lot of console games could be *improved* when ported over – its just no-one wants to put any extra effort in adding in the things PC gamers take for granted.
        Almost all the games ported over lock the FOV to 65-75 degrees and otherwise go through some gymnastics to make it difficult to open up the engine for modification – proprietary formats requiring users to write their own tools to do anything is one.
        
        Agammamon 10 years ago
        
        Or, another peeve of mine in ports, changing the direction the camera faces does not turn your character and you can never just back up.
2. Corning 10 years ago
  
  The 3DS is doing good.
  How can it be struggling against “mobile competition” when its mobile gaming device is doing good?
mad libertarian guy 10 years ago

Obama is giving a speech today at 11am ET outlining proposed reforms to the NSA.
And I’ll be sure to believe everything he says like a good citizen should.
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

and mentioning that she’d like to take her grandchildren to the Super Bowl (again)
“Nice little football game yas gots here. Be a shame if sumpthin wuz ta happen to it.”
Rich 10 years ago

Moscow has created a 1,500-mile security cordon around Sochi in a bid to prevent infiltration by terrorists.
1,500 miles? WTF?
1. Auric Demonocles 10 years ago
  
  Maybe it’s the circumference… Which would still have a radius of like 250 miles.
2. Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago
  
  Yeah, I doubt it.
3. Steve G 10 years ago
  
  Why am I picturing TSA-level stupidity with Stalin-level enforcement within that cordon.
4. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  I hear it’s just to keep jesse and Tonio out
Lord Humungus 10 years ago

I’m “working from home today” – which consists of VPNing into my desktop at work, answering emails, and listening to Agalloch on my basement stereo.
1. Brett L 10 years ago
  
  Every Wednesday now that the baby is here. Which means that I actually do more work on Wednesdays because my wife gets out for 2-3 hours and I have concurrent baby duty and work.
2. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
  
  Which Agalloch?
  The Mantle is my favorite album, and sounds great on vinyl (especially an original pressing).
  1. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
    
    The Mantle – but on CD.
Kaptious Kristen 10 years ago

As I said in the other thread…
A) announce end to data collection program
B) allow known terrorist plot in the works to happen
C) ?
D) profit!!!
1. Brett L 10 years ago
  
  The problem is that (B) is actually a null set.
2. Night Elf Mohawk 10 years ago
  
  This kind of presumes they actually know about a terrorist plot in the works, doesn’t it?
  1. Kaptious Kristen 10 years ago
    
    Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
    Anyway, I imagine they do know about several plots at any given time and have full discretion on a) whether to stop them without publicity, b) whether to stop them with a barrage of publicity, or c) let them happen for political purposes.
    If Obama announces and “end” (haha!) to NSA data vacuuming, it would be a perfect time for a LiHOP.
    1. Atanarjuat 10 years ago
      
      Little House On the Prairie?
    2. some guy 10 years ago
      
      Unless it’s just a slow clock. Then it might never be right.
      1. itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        just being nitpicky here, but even a slow clock would be right again at some point. As actual time progresses faster than the clock tracks it, it would gain distance on the hands of the clock until it eventually caught back up with the slow hands.
        just sayin…
        
        some guy 10 years ago
        
        Unless the slow clock was infinitesimally slower than it should be. Then it would take an infinite amount of time for it to be right again.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        If the difference were so small as to be undetectable (infinitesimal), then the clock would ALWAYS be right as the difference between what the time actually is and what the clock says is not a detectable difference.
3. font_of_stupidity 10 years ago
  
  A) announce end to data collection program
  B) allow known terrorist plot in the works to happen
  C) ?
  D) profit!!! make an investment in America’s future
  Fixed. 😀
SugarFree 10 years ago

Jezebel up in arms about Mouth Raper beer.
It rapes your mouth with flavor!
1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  It pours itself downnyour throat without your consent.
  Honest, officer!
2. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  I hate beer, but I would gladly buy a beer called Mouth Raper.
  1. robc 10 years ago
    
    I hate beer
    As I said in the thread the other day, anyone who says this hasnt tried enough beer.
    The variety of flavors available is way too wide and diverse for that statement to make sense for more than about 7 people in the world.
    1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
      
      I have yet to find a beer where the odor and flavor don’t immediately make me ill. Since it is basically rotten barley and weeds, I’m not surprised. It needs to have the good parts distilled out of that ferment.
      1. robc 10 years ago
        
        Some are rotten wheat instead.
    2. mad libertarian guy 10 years ago
      
      I hate beer
      
      As I said in the thread the other day, anyone who says this hasnt tried enough beer.
      Could the same nt be said about shit?
    3. Jordan 10 years ago
      
      I’ve yet to try a beer that didn’t taste identical to every other beer.
      1. robc 10 years ago
        
        If you think
        Cantillon Gueuze == Stone Arrogant Bastard == Weinhenstephaner Hefeweissbier == ABInBev Bud Light
        then you have serious taste bud problems.
        Serious. As in, see a fucking doctor, stat.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        That was my first thought. Either he’s being dishonest, hasn’t tried more than maybe 3 beers, or has some serious condition that prevents him from tasting things.
        The variety of flavor in beer is so great that if one were to have someone with no knowledge of beer taste them, they probably wouldn’t classify them as the same type of beverage.
        
        robc 10 years ago
        
        Usually, if you give a BMC drinker something like a lambic, they say “That is beer?!?”
        
        Jordan 10 years ago
        
        I’ve tried a good dozen or so. The usuals like Heineken, Miller, Guiness, Yuengling, Sam Adams, Blue Moon, 420, Dogfish Head. Plus a few seasonals and fruit flavored ones whose names escape me. All taste the same: like piss.
        
        Jordan 10 years ago
        
        A couple of Chinese beers too.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        I can understand if you don’t like any of those beers, but saying they all taste the same is just plain ignorant. If you honestly think that Guinness tastes the same as Blue Moon, you have a seriously defective sense of taste.
        
        robc 10 years ago
        
        Like I said above, see a doctor immediately.
        And I dont know what to do with the “Dogfish Head” comment.
        Within their brands is such a wide freaking range of flavors that I have no clue what he means. Im guessing 60 min, but you cant just say “Dogfish Head” and expect me to know what beer you are talking about.
        Hell, technically the same is true for the others, 420 is the only specific beer he identified.
        
        UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        Even I could taste a difference between the varieties I did manage to force myself to try. I didn’t care for them, but they weren’t the same.
        
        Jordan 10 years ago
        
        *Shrug* I don’t drink often enough to remember which variety of each I tried. And thanks for telling me what I tasted. Clearly, you know better than I do.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 10 years ago
        
        I don’t know what you tasted. Hence my suspicion that you have a defective sense of taste. IF, as you claim, they all tasted the same, there’s no way your sense of taste is working properly.
        Just within the list that you provided, there are several different flavors involved. Sweet, bitter, etc. Hell, just the fact that Guinness is nitrogenated makes it taste different. It would be like you saying “all fruit tastes the same to me”. If that actually is the case, there’s something wrong with your sense of taste.
        
        Zeb 10 years ago
        
        I suspect that what he really means is that he doesn’t like beer.
        And I want to know why he goes around tasting piss.
    4. Rasilio 10 years ago
      
      Um, all alcohol basically tastes like shit but in my very limited experience tasting them as a non drinker Beer is by far the worst.
      The only ones which approached being good were high end single malt scotch and rum
      1. Jordan 10 years ago
        
        THIS^
      2. Jordan 10 years ago
        
        I remember I went to a bar in Lexington with a buddy one time. He’s a big fan of bourbon, so we bought a bourbon sampler. The waiter brings over 5 shots and goes into some long winded explanation about the difference in flavor between each one.
        As we tried each one, my buddy was raving about them and I just kinda nodded and smiled. They all tasted like gasoline to me.
        
        robc 10 years ago
        
        Once again, you are wrong.
        
        UnCivilServant 10 years ago
        
        Once again, you are wrong.
        Yeah, wood tannins taste closer to turpentine than gasoline.
        
        Zeb 10 years ago
        
        MMM. Turpentine. If it wasn’t toxic, I’d drink that shit and wear it as perfume.
    5. Zeb 10 years ago
      
      I think it is fair to say that beer and most spirits are an acquired taste to some extent. So it’s not too surprising that a non-drinker wouldn’t like it much.
      I don wonder who these people are who drink enough piss to compare it to other beverages, though.
3. Rich 10 years ago
  
  Rapeseed oil!
4. BardMetal 10 years ago
  
  Then need to make a wine cooler called “Sweet Statutory”
5. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  I wonder if they’d be upset if I made a brand of Indian food called Colon Murderer.
  1. Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago
    
    +1 vindaloo
6. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
  
  Breweries just come up with weird names that have nothing to do with the actual flavor or type, to make people at the bar ask the bartender/waitress: “What about this piston-nitro berry beer?” So the potential drinker will then listen to the spiel, and perhaps buy it. I’d rather they just name things in ways that make sense.
  1. lap83 10 years ago
    
    You’re putting way too much thought in it. It’s conversation fodder for drunk people. “Mouth raper! BWAHAHAHAHA” (awkwardly loud laughter)”GIMME THAT” It’s the same reasoning that’s behind the names of sleazy shots and cocktails: red-headed slut, between the sheets, screaming orgasm, etc
7. Apple 10 years ago
  
  I like the comment the guy from the bar makes. Basically, there are tons of beers that make reference to murder and don’t get called out. Is it a worse crime than murder?
  1. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
    
    If memory serves I think Jezebel had a similar fit when the “raging bitch” beer came out? Murder isn’t important, it’s only important when females are denigrated.
    1. Jordan 10 years ago
      
      I’m guessing they had no issue with Arrogant Bastard ale.
      1. Elspeth Flashman 10 years ago
        
        And probably not the Dirty Bastard either.
8. sticks 10 years ago
  
  aren’t there a lot of beers with violent names?
9. Apatheist ?_?? 10 years ago
  
  She should sip down a Raging Bitch and shut the fuck up.
Rich 10 years ago

Elderly Squatters Take Over McDonald’s
The NYPD would not say how many customers they have had to remove from the restaurant.
I bet they would if those geezers were occupying Krispy Kreme.
1. Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago
  
  They’d need a tow truck for those Krispy Kreme customers.
Spoonman. 10 years ago

Philadelphia Swiss Cheese Pervert Arrested
“I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more,” the message read. “That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”
1. Roger the Shrubber 10 years ago
  
  I prefer the Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
Rich 10 years ago

Merde!
Some of the comments are pretty good.
1. General Butt Naked 10 years ago
  
  TRIGGER WARNING:
  THIS LINK CONTAINS AN AUTO-PLAY VIDEO.
2. Jordan 10 years ago
  
  That’s a lot of Courics. Still nowhere near an Obama though.
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.
This is why we need universal broadband access.
1. BardMetal 10 years ago
  
  It’s like people are inventing new fetishes every day.
tarran 10 years ago

This is why you should never, ever, ever eat anything “sugarfree”
Yes. These bears are directly from hell. I thought I was doing a nice thing for my two boys at home (age 7 and 9) by bringing these home for dinner. … I snuck a few of these in my mouth right before I turned into the driveway with my car. 10 minutes later I was standing in the kitchen when I almost fell to the floor. Whatever began transpiring inside my stomach would have made a gory Quentin Tarantino film look like The Sound of Music. It was already too late to warn the others.

My wife and two kids had already eaten their bears as well. I could see the look of pain on their faces when we all abandoned the fact we were family and began an all out war to see who could fight to the death for the bathroom first. It didn’t matter who got in the 3 bathrooms in our house and who didn’t. Death was upon us all that night. …

I was no longer a husband or a father in that bathroom. I was a prisoner to my own body, weeping like no man should ever be allowed to weep like.
1. SugarFree 10 years ago
  
  Fuck you. I am delicious.
  1. Kaptious Kristen 10 years ago
    
    But you clearly cause explosive and painful diarrhea.
    1. SugarFree 10 years ago
      
      I should be consumed in moderation.
    2. hamilton 10 years ago
      
      To be fair, this was known already.
2. Lord Humungus 10 years ago
  
  you know I think I ate some of these when they were on clearance at Meijers. With no consequence either – but maybe I didn’t gorge on them enough.
Austrian Anarchy 10 years ago

Anything new on the Justin Bieber raid, where the cops were looking for his private security camera recordings? Also Lil Za’s arrest, in the jail while he was being released for his arrest at Bieber’s place?
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  5 bucks says they’re looking for JB’s Selena Gomez fapping videos
2. BardMetal 10 years ago
  
  As much as I don’t like cops. Justin Bieber does have the most punchable face I’ve ever seen.
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

Goddammit, the Bloomberg babe is whining about deflation. Oh, woe, prices are not skyrocketing. Shovel more money into the furnace, quick!
Virginian 10 years ago

http://knowmore.washingtonpost…..a-country/
America has fallen.
Virginian 10 years ago

http://www.roadandtrack.com/ca…..naias-2014
Always loved the M3.
BigT 10 years ago

Why are libertarians so smart? SEX
http://dailycaller.com/2014/01…..edirect=no
1. WTF 10 years ago
  
  How is that possible when there are no libertarian women?
  1. Apple 10 years ago
    
    There are a few, and they’re VERY smart.
  2. Kaptious Kristen 10 years ago
    
    Maybe masturbation counts?
  3. Rasilio 10 years ago
    
    Nobody ever said we only had sex with libertarians
2. Atanarjuat 10 years ago
  
  Yeah, because a bunch of borderline Asperger’s computer programmers have so much sex. I didn’t get laid once in 2013.
  1. Atanarjuat 10 years ago
    
    Actually, thinking back, I banged a pretty hot asian hooker in early 2013. And had oral sex a few times. But still, my brain must be atrophying from lack of sausage-hiding.
3. Doctor Whom 10 years ago
  
  I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship. What’s sex?
invisible furry hand 10 years ago

Apparently one Roman emperor balanced his budget by selling off the palace dwarfs. How much would Joe Biden go for on the open market?
1. Rich 10 years ago
  
  I don’t know exactly, but it’d be a BFD!
The Late P Brooks 10 years ago

Always loved the M3.
I owned at least four early 70s BMWS (2002s and a Bavaria- never got my mitts on a coupe, dammit). I wanted an M3 mkI, but you couldn’t give me a brand new BMW. Too big, too heavy, too complicated.
1. Drake 10 years ago
  
  My wife has a 2008 328. I still get a loaner sometimes when it’s in the shop. The new BMWs are basically rolling computers. There are lots of gadgets to fiddle with to distract you from a very boring driving experience.
Eduard van Haalen 10 years ago

Former FEC chair Bradley Smith explains Ohio’s law purportedly targeting false political statements:
“Here’s how it works: If you’re a candidate, he says, in the last days of the election you file a complaint against someone who’s run an ad or distributed a flier you don’t like. A three-member panel of the commission then finds “probable cause” to look into whether the accused has made a false statement.
“”The complaining candidate then features this finding in advertisements run over the last weekend of the campaign,” says Smith. “It will say, ‘A panel of the Ohio elections commission found probable cause that my dirty rotten scumbag opponent’s campaign ads are lies.’ ”
“Never mind that long after the election, most complaints are dismissed.”
In this case, an Ohio Congressman got a probably cause finding from the state elections commission but lost a suit claiming that the ads were false.
http://nypost.com/2014/01/16/w…..-is-a-lie/
I would also add that the Ohio laws imposed higher penalties – criminal penalties! – for false statements about a politician than for false statements about Joe Schmoe citizen. Because a politician’s reputation is more valuable that the reputation of some peasant.
TRIGGER WARNING: The group whose rights were violated is a prolife group.
1. Agammamon 10 years ago
  
  Former FEC chair Bradley Smith explains Ohio’s law purportedly targeting false political statements:
  So, to combat problems caused by one piece of clunky, poorly thought out and written legislation, the solution is to add another layer.
SugarFree 10 years ago

Gawker mildly outraged at NSA. It’s commenters? Not so much.
chipchippersondoublegunsUTaylor Berman41L
As long as Obama is doing it, I don’t really have a problem with it. Imagine what happens when he leaves office, though. Today 8:03am

apeshapedmanUchipchippersondoubleguns101L
I voted for him twice and love the man to death, but that is an incredibly foolish line of reasoning.

No administration should be doing this. If anything, I’m upset he is letting this happen on his watch. Today 8:08am
(Yes, the first one is sarcasm, included for context.)
hashtagisreallypoundsignUTaylor Berman11L
The government has been collecting this information since like the beginning of time. It’s not a new occurrence. Ideally I’d like to believe they are collecting this information with the intention of protecting us. That’s something I’m willing to accept.

What I am not willing to accept is the fact that private companies collect this very same information in order to sell it and make money off of what we do. How else do you think Google and Facebook are considered profitable and successful companies? What kind of regulation is there to control what information they sell and use? Because I know they aren’t in it to protect me. They are in it to make money from me. 50 minutes ago
1. Virginian 10 years ago
  
  Ideally I’d like to believe they are collecting this information with the intention of protecting us. That’s something I’m willing to accept.
  Loki: Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It’s the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.
  Too bad there’s no Captain America to talk some sense into this bootlicker.
  1. Rasilio 10 years ago
    
    I’d settle for the old German dude who was willing to sacrafice his life to stand up to him
    1. Drake 10 years ago
      
      I thought he was Swedish?
      1. Rasilio 10 years ago
        
        Hard to tell, they were in Germany at the time and he had a Germanic accent but was speaking English. The implication of what he was saying was that he remembered Hitler, WW2 and was comparing Loki to them, unlikely given he didn’t look well into his 70’s, but that was the implication
        
        Virginian 10 years ago
        
        Nah, he was from East Berlin.
2. Scruffy Nerfherder 10 years ago
  
  Oh my god, they might try to SELL ME SOMETHING!
  vs.
  Meh, they can just throw me in jail for hate speech or political libel.
Virginian 10 years ago

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014…..nd-guilty/
Might be old news.
1. Brett L 10 years ago
  
  So, to be clear, cops beating someone to death with their hands is not manslaughter, but running over two kids you can’t see in a road is. FML.
  1. Virginian 10 years ago
    
    The actual running over was accidental, it’s the attempted coverup that got her.
    Within minutes, her brother returned to the scene on his way to his girlfriend’s house and saw a man standing over the pile, screaming. The man spoke to him briefly.
    
    The boy went home and told his sister she may have hit two children. The girls were later identified as step-sisters, 6-year-old Anna Dieter-Eckerdt and 11-year-old Abigail Robinson. Anna died at the scene. Abigail died later at a Portland hospital.
    
    She knew damn well what she did. Then she got her boyfriend to wash the blood off her car. She tried to get away with it and cover it up.
    1. Agammamon 10 years ago
      
      Well, no offense, but I might do the same thing in the circumstances.
      There’s nothing to be done to bring the kids back and you can’t rely on a civil suit to settle matters between you and the parents – everyone is going to be out for blood here and a jail sentence is guaranteed.
      1. Virginian 10 years ago
        
        Well, no offense, but I might do the same thing in the circumstances.
        
        Oh sure I’d retain the best lawyer I could, and get him to negotiate me a deal. That’s what a guy did here last year when he ran over a girl on a bike. History of DUI, but he turned himself in a couple days later, so they obviously couldn’t prove he’d been drunk.
        But if you’re going to wash the car off and try to cover it up, you don’t get to play the “it was an accident” card in court.
        
        Virginian 10 years ago
        
        Of course, I don’t drive my car into leaf piles, snow piles, empty boxes, etc. because I’m not a fucking moron.
Sevo 10 years ago

I’ll bet you didn’t know that the oh, so elegant O-care website is perfectly safe:
“HealthCare.gov passed security test, experts say”
Would these be the experts who promised it was ready to go on 10/1/13?
Or maybe the “test” was copying it on some CDs and dropping it from 8′?
http://www.sfgate.com/health/a…..150648.php
mad libertarian guy 10 years ago

That’s fucking blasphemy. Journey is one of the top 5 rock bands ever.
Swiss Servator, Befehl! 10 years ago

Where? Mars?

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