Sex Work

Ban on All You Can Sex Deals in Germany Emerges From Coalition Talks



Winners of Germany's federal elections in September spent more than a month hashing out the specifics of a ruling coalition between Angela Merkel's Christian Democratic Union and the second place Social Democratic Party, whose membership must still approve the agreement. Among the deals struck during negotiations is a new restriction on prostitution in Germany.

From the Telegraph:

Germany's biggest political parties have agreed to ban so-called flat-rate sex offered by some brothels in the country.

The move is part of a clampdown on Germany's booming prostitution industry that critics say has got out of hand since a 2002 law legalised sex work.

They view as exploitative the special offers in some brothels where men can have unlimited sex for 100 euros ($136).

h/t np complete

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  1. Flat rate prostitution? Clearly, Germany is in a new golden age of economic freedom.

    1. It looks good on paper, but the law only applies to Epi’s mom.

      1. A comparatively small number of males offer sexual services to females, usually in the form of escort services, meeting in hotels. The vast majority of male prostitutes serve male clients. In 2007 it was estimated that there were 2,500 male prostitutes in Berlin. The above mentioned Pascha brothel in cologne reserves one entire floor for male and transgender prostitutes.

        All of them are just Epi’s mom.

        1. So what percentage of German gay male prostitutes wear Nazi uniforms?

          1. Based on personal experience? 99%. I know when I’m working, I wear one. Everyone just seems to prefer it.

          2. I think you could drop the adjectives except for German and come up with a number close to 100%.

          3. I’ll let you know when I get back from Berlin in January. What do we consider a reliable sample size?

            1. I dunno, but avoid this smorgasmwhore business. Order off the menu.

            2. Well, if you want to be even remotely accurate…1000?

              1. Out of 2,500? That seems excessive…Are there grants funding this excursion? Escorts, Gun Oil and Skyn aren’t free.

                1. I’m only springing for Astroglide or Anal-Eze, jesse.

                  1. Not even for science?

                    Fine, send me the cash and I’ll cover difference. Rigorous escort testing requires carefully controlled parameters otherwise it’s just time wasting.

            3. What do we consider a reliable sample size?

              9 inches?

              1. On a German? Been there, sampled that.

        2. Another neo-liberal “RACE TO THE BOTTOM” policy that crushes the little guy.

          1. The little guy isn’t always the one on the bottom…

      2. Yeah, but she comprises 87% of all sex work in Germany, so that makes sense. She needs a break every 3 days or so just like anyone else.

      3. The main problem with the flat-rates hooker is that they all need to wear sneeze-guards.

    2. Allowing different rates for different acts allows the sex workers to specialize in an area they are best suited for and charge according to their abilities. You don’t want to have to pay the same for some newb fresh out of sex school as you would for “the Pele of anal,” do you?

      1. The Pele of Anal. Is that Warty’s band’s name?

        1. Its an Archer reference.

          1. One of the best episodes to date.

          2. Oh, I thought it was a reference to Nikki…

            1. We haven’t ruled that out, yet.

      2. It’s an all you can eat buffet. You don’t expect the quality to be the same as a steakhouse, but you get an occasional pleasant surprise, and you eat until you get your fill.

        1. “I thought the Bloomin’ Onion was an appetizer!”

      3. Allowing different rates for different acts allows the sex workers to specialize in an area they are best suited for and charge according to their abilities.

        From each according to their abilities, to each according to there needs.

  2. They view as exploitative the special offers in some brothels where men can have unlimited sex for 100 euros ($136).

    So just twice?

    1. Yeah, before AND after the nap

    2. Serious, there was a discussion of regional drinking in another thread. You specifically were named.

      1. I’m 22, so yes, I can drink. Never gone drinking anywhere near the South Bay so I’d be up for that on occasion.

        1. Filed away for future planning.

    3. Yeah but you can still brag about going all night long.

  3. You been here four hour!!! It’s ‘all you can sex’, not sex all you can!!!

    1. Hill Street Blues, wasn’t it?

  4. Another OT (and fake), but too good to pass up: Bloomberg Defends NYPD’s Controversial Stop And Kiss Program.

    Best line:

    I am not saying the police shouldn’t be able to detain people and kiss them, but it has to be done in a color-blind way.

  5. Sounds like they want to make whores operate on meters. Like taxis.

    That can’t be a good thing.

  6. Some sort of sex buffet, huh? A smorgasmwhore, if you will.

  7. “I ask you, the jury, does this really look like a man that has had all he can fuck?”

    1. “No, that could’ve been me!”

  8. How does that work? Do you get the same whore all night? Do you take as many as you want back to your room? Do you get to try them all out, a couple pumps at a time? Inquiring minds want to know!

    1. Yeah, this. I’m, uh, asking for a friend.

      For $136, could I have a rotating line of women come to my room all night? Two women? Reverse gang-bang?

    2. Your assignment if you decide to accept it is to be the Reason Mag special investigator and travel to Germany and report back.

    3. As has already been established, there is only one whore and it’s Epi’s mom. So yes, you’re entitled to Epi’s mom all night, and you can have as much of her as you can squeeze into the room.

      1. You’re better off taking her around the house. And when I say around the house…

    4. Do you take as many as you want back to your room?

      “Please understand, if I missed anyone. It’s been a big day, I’m a little tired.” -Williams from Enter the Dragon

  9. “To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly priced restaurant then have a night of efficient German sex.”

    1. “Well, I sure don’t feel like cooking.”

    2. Maybe I don’t know German women like I thought I did (I just remember seeing pictures of the East German women’s swim team in their skin-tight swim suits and figuring out the average East German women’s swim team member had two testicles) but wouldn’t a ‘all-you-can-sex’ deal at a German brothel be sort of like an all-you-can-eat deal at a possum tartare buffet?

      1. The rest of Germany is not equal to East German swimmers.

        Even other East German athletes arent the swimmers. Like Katerina Witt.

      2. Yeah, all German women look terrible.

        1. I lived in Germany and found the women there to be very hot. I never got why people think German women are not hot. And Austrian women are even hotter.

          1. What’s amazing is that she came from Klaus Kinski.

            1. Her mother must have been spectacular.

                1. Damn. I think I like mom better than the daughter.

          2. I think it’s from watching the East German Olympic team. And war movies.

        2. Awwww, look at her little klauses.

      1. “Oh, God, we have unhappy Germans. Nothing good has ever come from that.”

  10. Next: DIN standards for varieties of genital amusement. After that, quality testing and certification. Blowjobs T?V-gepr?ft….

  11. These idiots have never seen a trend line that doesn’t extend into infinity. Society will correct itself. If Prostitution is a bad thing or bad in large doses, society on its own will figure that out and stop using prostitutes so much. It is really that simple. I wish people would read Hayek and not just for the insights about central planning. There is a whole other part of Hayek where he talks about collective wisdom and where social mores and morality comes from. It comes from hundreds of years of people trying different things and either succeeding and having other people follow or failing and having people avoid the behavior. We don’t need to ban anything. Society will figure out on its own what is harmful and what is not.

    That is what social conservatives don’t get. Their values didn’t come down from God, at least not directly. Their values are the product of hundreds of years of collective wisdom. It amazes me how social conservatives constantly sell their values short. Get the government out of the way and stop trying to engineer society and society on its own will figure out the right way, which is going to be a lot closer to what the SOCONs want than anything the government can create.

    1. Exceedingly well said. Assuming the prostitutes in question are transacting voluntarily, you know that this isn’t going to be a perpetual condition.

    2. But we’ve these really clever people we elect to Congress to come up with solutions for us?sometimes solutions we don’t even know we need, or won’t need until later. It’s so progressive.

    3. John, I have to say I really enjoy reading your comments here. You articulate many of the thoughts in my head much better than I seem to be able to. There has been more than a few times where I have wanted to copy and paste your comment directly to my facebook wall for all the left-leaners I am friends with to read.

      Thank you.

      1. You are welcome.

    4. -Get the government out of the way and stop trying to engineer society and society on its own will figure out the right way, which is going to be a lot closer to what the SOCONs want than anything the government can create.

      This post is full of good points I agree with, but I would, perhaps surprisingly to some, add something in defense of social conservatives.

      A lot of social conservatives think that not only does present social engineering which undermines traditional values needs to be ended, but that this process has gone on so many decades that there actually have to be some ‘reversals’ to set the clock back to where the taken-for-granted cultural mores and norms are the ones that ‘work.’

      In this sense some social conservatives are like the green energy folks who do not want to stop at ending subsidization of carbon-based infrastructure but feel that some active ‘corrective’ measures in favor of green energy are called on to ‘right’ things.

  12. They view as exploitative the special offers in some brothels where men can have unlimited sex for 100 euros ($136).

    What would we do without government? How do they even come up with this random shit? Do such petty concerns actually dominate their lives or are they just making shit up to look busy?

    1. Or does one of the lawmakers own a competing brothel where the sexworkers are unionized and lazy and can’t compete?

      1. I’m surprised they haven’t gone to single-fucker yet.

        1. If you like your prostitute you can keep her.

          1. You’ll have to fuck her to find out…eh, never mind.

          2. That prostitute? You didn’t fuck that.

        2. Single payer hooker. What about all of the old and fat guys who can’t get laid?

          1. By forcing the young to use whores, the old’s greater need for them will be subsidized. Thus enabling a truly free market in prostitution.

            1. If hookers can make a living fucking young attractive guys, they won’t charge so much for the old fat guys or the geeky guys.

              1. “Ve don’t accept Medischtup heir.”

                1. Yes, but most take Medicunt. It’s a state-level program.

      2. I think “all of the above” will usually suffice regarding this question. The holy trinity of bullshit government:


  13. They view as exploitative the special offers in some brothels where men can have unlimited sex for 100 euros ($136).

    It honestly took me a few moments to realize they probably aren’t saying the men are being exploited.

    1. Isn’t that a lot like saying that the cooks at Golden Corral are being exploited because customers aren’t charged per plate?

      If there are two less related concepts, I have not heard them.

    2. Men cannot be exploited because they have penises. Exploitation requires a vagina, unless you are gay or black.

    3. Flat rate pricing exploits men who overrate their own prowess. Which is pretty much all of us.

  14. What I want to know is whether these whore are imported to work in Germany or if they’re German whores. In other words, do they shave?

  15. A German cat house? It’s like Meow-schwitz in there!

    1. Germany like every other civilized country, imports its hookers from Eastern Europe.

      1. Actually, a German friend of mine said that there are quite a few South Americans.

  16. To be fair to the the Germans, they do make an effort to minimize harm to hookers. Herewith a link to a publication from the city of Dresden informing prostitutes of their rights and services available to them.…..ch_web.pdf

    This one is in English, others are in German and Russian. I don’t know how they’re distributed or how widely.

  17. Does the price go up if you take Viagra?

  18. I’m too late, but-

    If you can’t just get the all-nighter, is there somebody sitting on the end of the bed, keeping score?

  19. Dang, I should move to Germany.

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