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A.M. Links: Republicans Realize Shutdown Distracting From Obamacare Failure, Federal Judges Whine About Sequester, Shutdown, US May Withdraw All Troops From Afghanistan in 2014 After All

Ed Krayewski | 10.14.2013 9:00 AM

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(ucumari/foter.com)
  • all of them, maybe
    US Air Force

    Congressional Republicans are increasingly coming to realize that the partial government shutdown is providing a distraction from Obamacare's launch failures.

  • Federal judges, who have apparently been complaining that the sequester, a cut in the rate of spending growth, has made operating the judiciary difficult, are now complaining about the partial government shutdown. "It is time to tell Congress to go to hell," one federal judge blogged. He can probably go to hell too.
  • Wall Street, meanwhile, may be worried about there not being a deal on the debt ceiling; futures were down overnight Friday. The Senate rejected a Democrat proposal to raise the debt limit on Saturday.
  • The US may withdraw all troops from Afghanistan next year after all; President Obama previously set an October 31 deadline for the US to come to an agreement with Afghanistan over the status of forces, something that doesn't look like it's going to happen.
  • A third NYPD officer, a member of the Internal Affairs unit, admitted to being part of the motorcycle gang that was involved in a road range incident with an SUV driver in Manhattan.
  • The Nobel Prize for Economics was awarded to three Americans for their work on asset price analysis.
  • An appeals court in Malaysia overturned a lower court's ruling that had permitted non –Muslims to use the word "allah," claiming that doing so would create public disorder.

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NEXT: Gabby Giffords Visits First Gun Show Since Tucson Shooting

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Congressional Republicans are increasingly coming to realize that the partial government shutdown is providing a distraction from Obamacare's launch failures.

    Website meltdowns weren't going to be Obamacare's undoing.

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Why is seemingly everybody at H&R repeating this talking point?

      (Well, I presume it has to do with the cocktail parties or something.)

      1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        Wishcasting.

      2. SIV   12 years ago

        Why is seemingly everybody at H&R repeating this talking point?

        RINO-list.

        John McCain made a point-for-point same statement as several of the recent Suderman columns. I guarantee you the Maverick isn't a fan. They are literally reading off the same page.

      3. CE   12 years ago

        Because that's what you do with talking points.

    2. RG   12 years ago

      No, but it can exacerbate the already stupid law. If a bad user experience deters the young and healthy from signing up, then the death spiral kicks in even earlier.

      1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

        Which isn't really dependent on whether the Republicans draw attention away from the bad websites or not, is it?

      2. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

        As one of those "young and healthy" types, I'm wondering if the nonfuctional website is going to disproportionately piss off people in my age group. I mean, I figure creakier people from pre-Internet days are more used to moving at the speed of government, and might see little wrong in a website that operates like that. On the other hand, if you're young and are used to well-designed technology, the Obamacare exchange comes off as unforgiveably awful.

        1. RG   12 years ago

          Which hopefully erodes some of that age group's appetite for big, problem solving government.

          Anything that erodes the public's faith in government is a win in my book.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

            Dude, like he just didn't hire the right developers because of the Republican obstructionists who wanted it to fail.

        2. AlexInCT   12 years ago

          If young uns like you take away the lesson that this is how your government healthcare will be run and provided as well, then you all will have gotten it right. I seriously believe this monster will put a death hold on progressive stupidity amongst the young, but thenagain, maybe that's why the progressives are so reluctant to stop this freak show in its track and try to fic it: if they do and people have cought on how bad this will be, this thing will be DOA.

    3. Brett L   12 years ago

      OMG! The columnists at Slate, WaPo, and HuffPo who happen to vote reliably Democrat are totally telling us how we should be beating up Obamacare because the Shutdown is a loser. Yeah. Color me skeptical.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        Yeah, this smells like "please don't throw me into that briar patch"

        1. SIV   12 years ago

          Joel Chandler Harris?

          RACIST!11!!

      2. robc   12 years ago

        Concern trolling.

      3. kinnath   12 years ago

        Sadbeard speaks again!

        http://www.slate.com/blogs/mon....._coin.html

        Reach into your pocket. Find a penny. Find a dime. Observe that the dime is worth ten times as much as the penny, and yet is physically smaller than the penny.

        That, my friends, is the magic of fiat money.

        1. Ruckus   12 years ago

          The fact that he got compensated for writing that turd sandwich gives me little hope for the future.

        2. Whahappan?   12 years ago

          My God, this has to be performance art, to see how much idiocy he can get his editors and readers to swallow, he can't be serious.

        3. Brett L   12 years ago

          No discussion of the difference in the metals? Remember when a dime used to be silver and a penny zinc and copper? Is 1965 really that long ago?

          1. kinnath   12 years ago

            I suspect that sadbeard was not alive when the government replaced money (silver coins) with bus tokens (copper-core, nickel-clad coins).

            1. kinnath   12 years ago

              And replaced silver certificates with federal reserve notes

          2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

            Saw an episode of Pawn Stars where a customer turned over a hundred pounds of silver including a huge bag of pre 64 coins and made 100K. The old man mentioned being a goldbug since Nixon closed the gold window. Rick conducted his own chemical test to prove authenticity on an irregular sized bar. God I love that show, one of the few I still watch regularly.

    4. Brett L   12 years ago

      More fairly, there's no news on the Shutdown, nothing's happening that sells ads. So of course people who sell ads with news are going to say that the politicians should be making news for them.

    5. Zeb   12 years ago

      Website meltdowns weren't going to be Obamacare's undoing.

      Nor is the government shutdown. I don't think it will be Republicans' undoing either, but I'm starting to think that strategically it wasn't a good move for them. I think it was a good thing to attempt, and I find it all kind of amusing. But I very much doubt that it will accomplish anything in terms of getting rid of the ACA.
      If shutdown and debt ceiling weren't dominating the news, Obamacare would be. Now, maybe they news media would have spun it all to gloss over the failures. But I think it would be difficult to present it as much of a success. At the very least, it was unfortunate timing for a budget and debt battle.

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        If shutdown and debt ceiling weren't dominating the news, Obamacare would be.

        Seriously, no it wouldn't. Computer glitches are not an above-the-fold story in any news cycle, I don't care what's going on.

        There is the nuclear talks in Iran. There is still wild violence in Syria (remember Syria?). There are plenty of other A1 above-the-fold stories going on.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          I suppose there are a few other things going on. I still say it would be getting more coverage.

          Whatever. It's really pretty pointless speculating about what might have happened. It happened the way it did.

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        I don't think it will be Republicans' undoing either, but I'm starting to think that strategically it wasn't a good move for them.

        They chose the wrong hill to fight on, and it reveals how off-message the party actually is--they went from impotently trying to repeal the damn thing to making a "clean CR" contingent on a one-year delay of the individual mandate. The former was a waste of time, the latter poor tactics, and it goes back to their failure to relentlessly push more free-market solutions to the fucked-up healthcare status quo--because ultimately, people aren't going to give a shit if we had the ability to cure cancer if they're having trouble affording basic insurance plans. It comes down to both quality of care AND cost, and Team Red never understood that.

        If they wanted to make political hay out of this, they should have demanded that Obama follow his own law and repeal the one-year delay and ALL waivers, or funding gets cut off. That would have been more than enough to gum up the bureaucracy and make the administration look completely incompetent. (cont)

        1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

          Given all the exceptions Obama made to the law, they could have proposed further alterations by including HazelMeade's suggestion of allowing catastrophic coverage (or even HSAs), or altering the law in such a way that businesses wouldn't have felt compelled to drop their healthcare plans or reduce employees to part-time status.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            You assume that either side is looking to provide a solution to making healthcare more affordable. I don't agree. The Democrats wanted to be seen as the party of Free Shit and the Republicans want to be seen as the party against Free Shit (except for farmers and veterans, etc.). Neither side give a shit about your healthcare and what makes it more affordable.

    6. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      ObamaCare's undoing will be due to adverse selection.

      Young healthy people will not sign up for the opportunity to subsidize geezers and the chronically ill. Geezers and the chronically ill will sign up for subsidies and the positive expected value of insurance.

  2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    No Evidence Dems Can Take Back House

    Today, every member of Congress, along with the White House and President Obama, are getting battered in the polls over how they've handled the shutdown, with Republicans taking a slim lead on the voter-anger index.

    Kyle Kondik, a House analyst for the University of Virginia's Center for Politics, says that if (and he stresses a big "if") Republicans eventually suffer because of the shutdown, it will not be Tea Partiers who are hurt.

    "While the Republican brand is poor, the president isn't particularly popular ? his approval is only in the low to mid 40s, according to polling averages," said Kondik. "There would have to be an incredible amount of revulsion with the Republicans to deliver the House to the Democrats."

    Plus, historically, there's basically no precedent for the president's party to capture control of the House in a midterm year. Many presidents have held the House in a midterm, but they haven't taken control of it in a midterm.

    1. Old Man With Candy   12 years ago

      This is the best libertarians can hope for- gridlock. Yeah, baby!

    2. robc   12 years ago

      it will not be Tea Partiers who are hurt.

      Bolded because this has been my fucking point to everyone who has said this is bad strategy.

      Bad, for who?

      Establishment republicans? Maybe, but fuck them. If they get primaried by more tea partiers, that gets us closer to a real repeal.

      1. robc   12 years ago

        and closer to Speaker Amash.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    A third NYPD officer, a member of the Internal Affairs unit, admitted to being part of the motorcycle gang that was involved in a road range incident with an SUV driver in Manhattan.

    In their defense, the guy clearly failed to stop resisting.

    1. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      Maybe he was undercover internal affairs.

  4. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    No longer content with nuclear weapons, Kim Jong-un wants North Korea to be world power in mushrooms

    With a pledge to make North Korea a "world famous mushroom producer," dictator Kim Jong-un has added a personal touch by providing "field guidance" to poverty-stricken country's first mushroom research centre.

    The newly built Central Mushroom Research Institute of the State Academy of Sciences "is a mushroom research centre built according to the noble intention of Kim Jong-un [of] making a new history of industrialization of mushroom growing," said a statement from the state-run Korean Central News Agency.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      This element of randomness is why I love being on the outside looking into dictatorships.

      1. Ted S.   12 years ago

        Technically, Kim Jong-Un is arbitrary or capricious, not random. 😉

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Pendatry accepted.

    2. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      Jong-un really, really likes mushrooms.

    3. gaijin   12 years ago

      I wonder if he was inspired by mushroom clouds?

    4. GILMORE   12 years ago

      In a land full of Darkness and Bullshit, mushrooms will thrive

  5. Scarecrow Repair   12 years ago

    Xkcd gets in on the act.

  6. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    JPAC admits to phony ceremonies honoring 'returning' remains

    The Department of Defense unit charged with recovering servicemembers' remains abroad has been holding phony "arrival ceremonies" for seven years, with an honor guard carrying flag-draped coffins off of a cargo plane as though they held the remains returning that day from old battlefields.

    The Pentagon acknowledged Wednesday that no honored dead were in fact arriving, and that the planes used in the ceremonies often couldn't even fly, and were towed into position. The story was first reported on nbcnews.com.

    1. Brian D   12 years ago

      BOOOOOSH!

    2. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

      Every swingin' dick remotely associated with this needs to be shitcanned. Now.

      1. Restoras   12 years ago

        Haha, yeah right. Lois Lerner needs to be prosecuted but I'm not holding my breath for that either.

    3. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      They're returning Heroes from the Malabar Front.

      1. fish_remote   12 years ago

        +1 moderately obscure literary reference

    4. SIV   12 years ago

      Obama should make a Thanksgiving visit to the troops and serve them all plastic turkey.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        Or tofurkey.

        1. fish_remote   12 years ago

          Or tofurkey.

          Monster!!

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Yeah, that could spark a mutiny.

    5. GILMORE   12 years ago

      Why does Lord Humongous Hate America? Soldiers and Coffins and Parades and Sad Old Men Waving Little Flags needs? = Country Music and Eagles Flying and Little Girls Hugging Mommy and a Chevy Silverado being MAD STRONG. WHO TOLD YOU TO REWRITE THE SCRIPT?? WHAT NEXT, NO SANTA, MR ATHIEST COMMUNIST DICKFUCK?

      1. db   12 years ago

        That is poetry, GILMORE.

      2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        Needs more Bald Eagle tears.

  7. Brett L   12 years ago

    The ultimate Florida Halloween yard decoration.

    1. Floridian   12 years ago

      That's awesome. I would buy one except we do friendly Halloween decorations for the kiddies.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        Lame. Halloween is for terrifying kiddies.
        This is why I have given up on Halloween entirely. Nobody wants to do it right.

        1. GILMORE   12 years ago

          ""Zeb|10.14.13 @ 9:42AM|#

          Lame. Halloween is for terrifying kiddies.""

          I thought Halloween was for Kiddies to beat up and abuse Younger Kiddies then steal their shit. While in costume. That's how WE did it.

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Well, yeah, sure. But once you are too old for that, you frighten kids.

            We used to regularly have kids running away screaming. Even after we developed a reputation for being the scary house.

      2. GILMORE   12 years ago

        ""we do friendly Halloween decorations for the kiddies.""

        Let me guess. A robotic smiling grandma handing out apples? (stuffed with drano and razor blades??)

        I mean, seriously. What, you have teletubbies and kittens and unicorns in your yard? Fuck dude = 1) I'd be the first kid in the neighborhood organizing the mass egging/TP'ing/flaming-bag-of-dog-poo'ing your yard and 2) I would expect you to provoke a full-on Amber Alert with your "look, we're Pedophiles!" decorations. I'm calling the Sheriff now in fact.

        1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

          ""we do friendly Halloween decorations for the kiddies.""

          How else can you lure waifs to be pressed into service in the monocle mines?

    2. Nephilium   12 years ago

      I've got one of those to stick in my yard this year. As well as a companion piece.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Awesome

    3. Sy   12 years ago

      I was expecting Zombie Trayvon.

    4. SugarFree   12 years ago

      I figured the ultimate Florida Halloween decoration would be Zimmerman fucking Trayvon Martin in his sucking chest wound while a jury of 6 David Carusoes scream YEEEEAH!

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        I have to admit it, I laughed at that one

      2. Steve G   12 years ago

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeeyWvo1rNg

  8. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    An appeals court in Malaysia overturned a lower court's ruling that had permitted non ?Muslims to use the word "allah," claiming that doing so would create public disorder.

    Codifying the heckler's veto? Obama is so jealous right now. BENGHAZI WOULD NEVER HAD HAPPENED!

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      It makes me want to go to Malaysia and shout out "Allah Allah Allah!"

      Blasphemy is a human right.

      1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        ALI
        Why are you here? Boy!

        DOUD
        To serve lord Aurens, Sherif.

        GASIM
        This is true, Aurens. They do wish it.

        ALI
        You have been tracking us. You were told
        to stay.

        DOUD
        No, Sherif. Our camel strayed; we
        followed her.

        FERRAJ
        She led us here to be lord Aurens'
        servants. It is the Will of Allah.

        ALI
        Blasphemy! [switches Ferraj]

        LAWRENCE
        Don't do that!

        GASIM
        No, no! Aurens. These are not servants.
        These are outcasts. Parentless!

        ALI
        Be warned! They are not suitable.

        LAWRENCE
        They sound very suitable. You can ride
        with the baggage.

        ALI
        These are not servants. These are
        worshippers!

      2. WTF   12 years ago

        "Look, I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was: "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah Allah."
        "Blasphemy! He said it again!"

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          The thing is that "Allah" is like "God" in English, not "Jehovah". It's not the proper name of the deity. I suppose it's not so relevant in Malaysia, but I believe it is also the word that Arab Christians use for "God".

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Apparently Christians in Malaysia and Indonesia also use "Allah" to refer to God as well. I'm thinking that might have something to do with the motivation.

  9. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    London firefighters beg men: Stop putting privates in machinery
    The London Fire Brigade has launched a public campaign dubbed "Fifty Shades of Red," theorizing that an increase in such randy rescue calls in that city is perhaps propelled by the popularity of the erotic romance novel "Fifty Shades of Grey."

    The campaign simply urges people in London ? especially guys ? to exercise more common sense before inserting their manhood into gadgets made for cooking or cleaning. The brigade reports that it responded to 416 stuck-body-part calls in 2010-11, another 441 in 2011-12 and 453 in 2012-13. Among those emergency requests for assistance, 79 people were wearing handcuffs they could not remove.

    To help fuel the agency's gentle request to just stop doing these things, the brigade has added a dose of public shaming, often taking to Twitter to share some of these ambulance requests from people who have become oddly entangled....

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Maybe if British women weren't so ugly, sticking your dick in a toaster wouldn't seem like a good idea.

      1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

        The most beautiful woman in the world is the first woman you see after leaving England.

        1. Raven Nation   12 years ago

          Generally true; one of the exceptions that proves the rule is a redhead with the classic peaches-and-cream complexion on met there on one trip.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        I've got a toaster oven. I wouldn't even think to stick my dick in it. Besides, it's too small for my massive member.

        1. Almanian!   12 years ago

          So now we know where the toppings for toaster Streudal comes from.

          Ew

          1. db   12 years ago

            "Toaster Straddle"

  10. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Everyone The U.S. Government Owes Money To, In One Graph

    If Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling soon, the U.S. government won't be able to pay its debts. Here's who the government owes money to ? all the holders of U.S. Treasury debt, broken down by category and by how much government debt they hold.

    graphic in link.

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      If Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling soon, the U.S. government won't be able to pay its debts

      Not going to bother looking at the link after that.

    2. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

      If Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling soon, the U.S. government won't be able to pay its debts.

      Which is a total lie, of course.

    3. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      No, fuck you cut spending.

  11. Jordan   12 years ago

    A third NYPD officer, a member of the Internal Affairs unit, admitted to being part of the motorcycle gang that was involved in a road range incident with an SUV driver in Manhattan.

    Better refer their case to Internal Internal Affairs.

    1. db   12 years ago

      Internal Internal Affairs Affairs?

  12. Brett L   12 years ago

    They're cutting your Social Security benefits by only raising them by the consumer price index!

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      The chocolate ration has been decreased to 550 lbs!

    2. Shirley Knott   12 years ago

      Is there anyone left, other than gov't flacks, who believes that the consumer price index isn't relentlessly gamed to show favorable numbers?
      Inflation is already relentless and ruinous, but the 'market basket' used for the price index keeps changing to hold items with lower price changes.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Well, if gas prices stay down by 10% for the year, it would be a definite plus for my wallet. If only food were getting cheaper, too.

        1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          If only food were getting cheaper, too.

          Buying food for a family of 4 is insanely expensive. Even sticking to the store brands on virtually everything is ridiculous.

          1. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

            You're not substituting enough.

            / Bernanke

      2. gaijin   12 years ago

        wasn't there a time when benefits were increased by the consumer wage index, rather than price index, because it created bigger increases? Now that wages are stagnant, they move to prices?

        1. gaijin   12 years ago

          I just answered my own question: "Currently, adjustments to social security benefits are based on the CPI-W, a measure that captures price changes in the average set of goods purchased by urban wage earners and clerical workers. "

          Which of course may not have anything to do with what a retiree buys.

        2. robc   12 years ago

          Of course, there is no way they are going to use the change in M2 or some other real measure of inflation.

    3. db   12 years ago

      Is that a tacit agreement that the CPI is bunk?

  13. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    Bill Maher: Fear of assassination drives Obama's policies
    HBO's Bill Maher suggested during his show Friday that President Obama is leading as a "centrist" out of fear of being assassinated like John F. Kennedy.

    The "Real Time" host said that leaders such as JFK always "get cut out of the picture, violently or otherwise, and maybe that is why Barack Obama is a little more of the centrist than we want him to be."

    MSNBC host Chris Matthews, appearing as a guest on the show, said he was surprised by the "extraordinary statement."

    "I'm amazed. I'm impressed you think that," Mr. Matthews said.

    Mr. Maher explained that assassination is probably something that President Obama thinks about at night.

    "He has to change his policies for that reason?" Mr. Matthews asked.

    "I don't think that is an insult to say to somebody that he may modulate his policies because he is afraid of all the hate that he sees," Mr. Maher replied....

    The world according to Alec Baldwin exposed on MSNBC: Police are 'lazy,' God picks my women

    1. DJF   12 years ago

      Is this why Obama hides out on golf courses

      1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        He's just helping OJ look for the real killer.

        1. CE   12 years ago

          Who, if he had been a golfer, would be behind bars by now.

      2. R C Dean   12 years ago

        Ya know, DJF, I bet these golfing outings are pure hell for his security team.

        "Let's walk around in the open, but only if there is lots of cover within rifle range!"

    2. Bam!   12 years ago

      "HBO's Bill Maher suggested during his show Friday that President Obama is leading as a "centrist" out of fear of being assassinated like John F. Kennedy."

      JFK was practically a Republican compared to modern Democrats. Wanted to cut taxes and take on the commies.

      1. DJF   12 years ago

        Yeah, the real JFK but he is talking about the mythical JFK who was really just about to change all his policies to ones that Maher approves of.

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

      Bill Maher goes DERP, Chris Matthews gets a tingle. Film at 11.

    4. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Why would Matthews be surprised? After all, the media have pretty much taken it as an article of faith that the only reason anybody would oppose Obama is extreme racism.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        But now it's extreme violent racism.

    5. gaijin   12 years ago

      Bill Maher: Proof pot can lead to deleterious mental effects.

      1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

        I think it's some venereal disease that's he's picked up from his hookers or some congenital brain dysfunction.

        Pot isn't THAT bad.

    6. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      This is great:

      Center for Social Inclusion President MAYA WILEY: I suspect at the end of his second term, I think one of the things we're going to learn is he has had more assassination threats than almost any president.

      MAHER: I'm sure.

      WILEY: And I think the other thing we will find is that he has always seen himself as the great mediator of the country who is going to try to vastly bring together you know, factions.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        "I have no evidence for this whatsoever, but I'm sure it must be the case"

        Do these people have any idea how ridiculous they are?

        1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          Do these people have any idea how ridiculous they are?

          Nope. They live in an echo chamber, and anything that isn't a leftist talking point is filtered out as racist noise. I guarantee you that everyone this lady associates with has this exact same opinion.

    7. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      "I'm amazed. I'm impressed you think that," Mr. Matthews said.

      I suddenly got an image of William H. Macy's character in "Thank You For Not Smoking," doing his concern-troll nodding on the smoking pack labels he was pushing.

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        Shit, that is, "Thank You For Smoking"

  14. DJF   12 years ago

    The launch was a week ago but still a cool video

    Space X grasshopper vertical takeoff and landing test. 744 meter altitude. 1 minute 37 sec long. If they can get this to work with the first stage of their rocket they can save a lot of money and lower the cost to orbit

    http://youtu.be/9ZDkItO-0a4

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Yeah, Its interesting but it does take about 30% off the lift-to-orbit weight of the F9. Of course, if it took 50% off the price...

    2. JW   12 years ago

      This almost makes up for all of Musk's smug douchiness with Tesla.

  15. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    "It is time to tell Congress to go to hell," one federal judge blogged. He can probably go to hell too.

    And now a third branch joins in getting pissy.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Oh noes, our cushy benefits are being held up! Don't they know who I am?!

      We do, judge. Go fuck yourself.

    2. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

      I suspect he will be facing a whole bunch of SOJs when it comes to litigation involving the Constitutionality of Congressional actions.

  16. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    Browns vs. Lions: Brandon Weeden Lets Cleveland Down By Throwing Horrendous Interception

    1. Almanian!   12 years ago

      Heh heh. This game was delicious.

      Although, as a Lions "fan", I know better than to get excited.

      It's been since 1957 that we've had a championship. Of course, that was over the BROWNS, so....sucks even worse for Cleveland.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        This is the Lions year! I predict a super bowl run!

        ha! Just kidding.

  17. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Man grabs bear's tongue during attack near Grand Falls

    "For a second, I thought I was dead ? that's the first thing that comes to your mind when you open your eyes and see that friggin' mouth full of teeth and a tongue in there. It's like ... an extreme sport," he said with a chuckle.

    Cyr said grabbing the bear's tongue was just instinct.

    He said he managed to escape behind a tree but not before the bear clawed his belly and bit his knee.

    back when giants roamed the world...

    1. Floridian   12 years ago

      "Cyr said that a warden told him he has permission to track down the bear and kill it as a nuisance animal ? however an official with Natural Resources said Cyr may require a permit."

      How would he know if it was the same bear?

      1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        Bruised tongue.

      2. Zeb   12 years ago

        You probably think that all Asians look the same too.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      I guess that guy's giant balls got in the way of his escape?

    3. Almanian!   12 years ago

      That guy is a fucking American Hero. God bless him and his giant balls.

      1. WTF   12 years ago

        He's a Canuckistanian.

        1. Almanian!   12 years ago

          and?

          STILL AN AMERICAN HERO. RACIST MUCH, WTF?

          /derp

    4. Zeb   12 years ago

      Black bear. Interesting. You don't usually hear about them attacking people very often.

      And "Gilles Cyr" is an awesome name.

    5. Rasilio   12 years ago

      That poor bear.

      It's never gonna live down the Human got your tongue jokes

      1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        +1

  18. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    Edward Snowden's secrets may be dangerous. I would not have published them
    If MI5 warns that this is not in the public interest who am I to disbelieve them?

    ...In which case, guys, uncurl your lips and explain what it is, exactly, that the NSA and GCHQ, are doing that is so profoundly terrible? What justifies all the posturing we've been subjected to these past months? I watched The Guardian journalist Glenn Greenwald, who obtained the Snowden scoop, on Newsnight the other evening and was nonplussed. I wanted him to say what the real scandal was that he had uncovered. But he did not....

    ...Which leads on to the second issue. If the security services insist something is contrary to the public interest, and might harm their operations, who am I (despite my grounding from Watergate onwards) to disbelieve them? ...

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

      Somebody likes his chains.

    2. DJF   12 years ago

      Translation, the NSA already has video of the author's 13 year old Thailand ladyboy

    3. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

      "I'm torn between my self-image as a truth-seeking rebel and my actual life as someone who toadys to anyone in a snappy uniform."

  19. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

    An appeals court in Malaysia overturned a lower court's ruling that had permitted non?Muslims to use the word "allah," claiming that doing so would create public disorder.

    "Would you have a problem with an American person saying 'Thank God? Thank God?' ... That's what they're saying. Come on! Of course they're Muslims, but they're moderates and I guarantee you they are moderates."

  20. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Meanwhile in Australia...

    Kangaroo keeps cops on the hop in Gin Gin house invasion

    A huge kangaroo has kept police busy overnight after it broke into a home near Gin Gin, south-west of Bundaberg in southern Queensland.

    Sergeant Graham Bub says a family at Moolboolaman phoned about an intruder thumping around their home about midnight (AEST).

    However when police arrived the kangaroo had escaped through a window.

    1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

      Also, fried dingo.

      1. Almanian!   12 years ago

        In Soviet Russie, dingo fry YOU!

    2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      The kangaroo will be tried in a special court, get it?

    3. Ted S.   12 years ago

      "Gin Gin"? "Moolboolaman"? "Graham Bub"?

      Surely those are all made-up names. What kind of a freak would you have to be to have names like that? 😉

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Illiterate Cockneys drinking high methanol white lightning?

        1. Raven Nation   12 years ago

          Maybe:

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gin_Gin,_Queensland

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            Located on the Bruce Highway? Which Bruce?

            1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

              New Bruce.

            2. Raven Nation   12 years ago

              Australian politician Henry Bruce (reason won't let me paste the Wikipedia link.

              1. Brett L   12 years ago

                Not a pooftah was he?

                1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

                  No mistreating the abbos!

                  1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

                    Not even if it's funny?

  21. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    EPA facing fire for armed raid on mine in Chicken, Alaska: Population, 7
    ..."[A]n EPA SWAT team of heavily armed and armored agents conducted 'paperwork' inspections on small mining operations in what attempts to be nothing more than an effort to intimidate and scare hardworking Americans," said Rep. Doug Lamborn, Colorado Republican, who heads the House Resources Committee's subcommittee on energy and mineral resources....

    1. DJF   12 years ago

      EPA SWAT team - Remember there is nothing in the budget that can be cut.

      1. Nazdrakke   12 years ago

        If you can't rally your troops to the king's banner you aren't a real fiefdom, don't cha' know.

    2. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

      The inspection included agents from the EPA's Alaska Environmental Crimes Task Force, the FBI, the Coast Guard, the Bureau of Land Management, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, the National Park Service, the Fish and Wildlife Service, as well as state agents from the Alaska Department of Public Safety.
      Rep. Peter DeFazio, Oregon Democrat, accused Republicans of engaging in "incredible hyperbole."

      WTF

    3. CE   12 years ago

      If the EPA agents actually ever did face fire, maybe it would make sense to arm them.

  22. Fluffy   12 years ago

    A third NYPD officer, a member of the Internal Affairs unit, admitted to being part of the motorcycle gang that was involved in a road range incident with an SUV driver in Manhattan.

    This biker gang seems to be the modern equivalent of a student revolutionary cell in the late 60's:

    There was nobody in it but undercover cops keeping each other under surveillance.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      The onion should do an article about the one remaining motorcycle member who isnt a cop or govt informant.

    2. SugarFree   12 years ago

      Flow My Tears, Said The Scanner Darkly

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        excellent! It was like PKD channeled Kafka.

  23. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    worth it for the gasoline pump handle pic...

    The changing face of the Phuket Vegetarian Festival

    PHUKET: Phuket's Vegetarian Festival is now in full swing, with lively street processions held this week around the island.

    1. gaijin   12 years ago

      does this mean he has another mouth to feed?

      1. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

        No, it's already filled up.

  24. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    An inspiring story on public radio yesterday about a poor vietnamese refugee who worked her way up to being a tech entrepreneur. Of course the narrator couldnt bring himself to say the family fled the communists in the 1970s, but said they fled "the aftermath of the vietnam war."

  25. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

    A park ranger writes, Please, don't blame me

    1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      Ah, yes, the fine line between civil disobedience and throwing a temper tantrum when you don't get what you want. Oh, wait?that line isn't fine at all!

      Is he talking about President Stompyfeet closing thing National Parks because he's not getting what he wants?

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

        Managing the people requires people: people to remove trash, prevent or repair vandalism, maintain trails, explain why the rules are the rules (there's always a reason, and it's usually a very good one)

        THERE ARE GOOD REASONS FOR THIS!

        1. Isaac Bartram   12 years ago

          Since the National Parks actually generate revenue (though not enough to covee all their costs, why not just keep them open.

          It probably costs the same as the normal deficit to close them given that, as many have pointed out, some personnel have to be kept on to police and maintain them.

        2. Kant feel Pietzsche   12 years ago

          I told you, I have people skills, goddammit! What the hell is wrong with you people?!?!?!

    2. Jordan   12 years ago

      Sheesh, talk about whining.

  26. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    10 American companies cutting the most jobs

    Planned job cuts in the third quarter rose 25% from a year ago. With September jobs cuts up 19% from last year, it represented the fourth month in a row in which job cuts were higher than the same month last year. Despite the current trend, employers are on pace to cut roughly the same number of jobs that were cut last year. According to data compiled by Challenger, Gray & Christmas, 10 companies alone have announced close to 75,000 job cuts this year, combined. This represents nearly 20% of all the announced cuts in 2013.

    10. United Technologies
    9. Blockbuster
    8. MetLife Inc.
    7. Cisco Systems
    6. Wells Fargo & Co.
    5. American Express Co.
    4. Boeing Co.
    3. International Business Machines Corp.
    2. J.C. Penney Company, Inc.
    1. J.P. Morgan Chase & Co.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Blockbuster is still around?

      1. Almanian!   12 years ago

        I know there's one in South Park, CO.

      2. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

        http://www.blockbuster.com/

        They're following the Red Box kiosk model

    2. Metazoan   12 years ago

      not one pharma company! there is hope!

  27. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

    "Walmart shelves in Springhill, Mansfield, cleared in EBT glitch"

    The chaos that followed ultimately required intervention from local police, and left behind numerous carts filled to overflowing, apparently abandoned when the glitch-spurred shopping frenzy ended.

    http://www.ksla.com/story/2367.....ebt-glitch

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Oh yeah. These people would totally work if they had to. This story made me despair of my nation and its people more than anything I can think of in recent memory.

      1. wareagle   12 years ago

        nothing gets my bride's blood pressure spiking like EBT. Her remedy is to confine use to items that require actual preparation.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Mine is to confine all food-aid to the WIC list. (I understand that isn't the most efficient solution.) If its good enough for pregnant/nursing mothers and their infant children, its good enough for everyone.

          1. Jordan   12 years ago

            A true libertarian would confine all food-aid to Purina and Friskys.

          2. Ruckus   12 years ago

            A WIC based solution is my compromise on this issue as well. I know it's not the most efficient for consumer or retailer, but that's kind of the point.

          3. thom   12 years ago

            I've taken a completely opposite stance. If welfare is ostensibly for helping grown-ups get through though times, then welfare should treat people like grown-ups. Telling poor people that you'll help, but they can only eat what you tell them and spend their money in ways you find appropriate just further reinforces the paternalistic welfare state.

            I think welfare, food stamps, etc should all just be combined into a cash redistribution program. Will a small number of participants abuse the system? Of course. But I'd bet that a greater number of people would be able to wean themselves off the system than are able to now just by reducing the parent child relationship involved.

            1. Brett L   12 years ago

              Thom,

              These people went out and got 5 carts of food each. More than they could transport, store, or eat. They are not adults. They have no intention of transitioning off this way of life. I say keep them alive but let them be so tired of eating beans, rice, and cornbread that they'd rather work any job than eat that one more day.

              1. thom   12 years ago

                And I say give them some money and then let them keep themselves alive. I'm not interested in the details of these people's lives, and I think a simple cash redistribution is a good compromise.

                1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

                  how about we give them cash, but they have to do volunteer hours each week for it? They can clean parks and monuments, mow yards, wash windows, etc. It's a win-win, we cut government costs in hiring janitors, park rangers, and other personnel, and we incentivize getting a damn jerb.

                  1. thom   12 years ago

                    how about we give them cash, but they have to do volunteer hours each week for it?

                    how about we just give them cash and resist setting up some big new government program that forces poor people to go out in public and do government make-work instead of looking for work, or taking care of their kids, or doing whatever the hell else they need to be doing to get their life back on track?

                    there are actually additional reasons to just give people cash instead of offering them services or giving them vouchers redeemable for goods or services. the biggest benefit is that they would be price conscious.

                    as a practical matter, government assistance to the poor is a reality that is going to be a reality for the near future. i think that making it as unobtrusive and as simple to administer as possible are important goals.

                    1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

                      the biggest benefit is that they would be price conscious.

                      That's a pretty big assumption.

                    2. thom   12 years ago

                      That's a pretty big assumption.

                      Why?

                      Here's $1,000 to buy food and pay your rent. If you can do it for less, go ahead and keep the difference and spend it on whatever you want.

                      All of sudden, prices matter.

            2. R C Dean   12 years ago

              I'm with thom. Give 'em cash (if you give them anything). If they blow it on beer and cigarettes and have to eat out of dumpsters, well, that's their choice.

              We can offer an alternative for people who can't manage to feed themselves on a fistful of cash: work crews paid with room and board.

              1. AlexInCT   12 years ago

                "I'm with thom. Give 'em cash (if you give them anything). If they blow it on beer and cigarettes and have to eat out of dumpsters, well, that's their choice."

                When they blow the cash we all will be told they need more...

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          But really, these people were buying more food than they could possibly eat before it went bad because it was free and they were getting over on someone. I have nothing in common with those people.

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

      Free shit!

    3. SIV   12 years ago

      I hope Walmart was able to resuscitate all the abandoned lobsters.

      1. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

        *80's Movie Slow Clap*

      2. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        Sir Lobster, Duke of Atlantis, thanks you for your concern.

        http://www.picgifs.com/fish-gr.....678404.gif

  28. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Meet the Beer Fridge That Opens Only for Canadians

    Next time you backpack Europe, it may be a good idea to take along your closest Canadian friend. You just might end up with all the free beer you'd ever want.

    To bolster national pride, Canadian beer company Molson placed beer fridges across Europe, from the streets of London and Brussels to the pastures of Belgium. Inside those fire engine red fridges? A free stockpile of Canadian suds.

    Molson? ugh...

    1. Almanian!   12 years ago

      I'm a Labatt guy, myself.

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        so you are fine cheating yourself of one-half ounce on each bottle, eh?

        1. Almanian!   12 years ago

          I don't drink beer very often, but when I do, it's proletarian, shite lagers.

          Personal faves - Tennents when in Glasgow (or here, on those rare occasions I can find it), McEwens when in Edinburgh. Labatt when in Michigan, other midwest states, or the Northern US Territories.

          1. KMA Too   12 years ago

            Al, could you PLEEEEEEZE brong in some McEwens's Scotch Ale? They were supposed to start up distribution again in the U.S. earlier this year, but so far, nada.

            1. KMA Too   12 years ago

              *bring

    2. Zeb   12 years ago

      I like Molson Canadian. What do they call that in Canada?

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        urine?

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          Moose cock?

      2. Isaac Bartram   12 years ago

        What do they call that in Canada?

        Molson Canadian.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          I wasn't sure if that was a US specific branding or not.

  29. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

    Congressional Republicans are increasingly coming to realize that the partial government shutdown is providing a distraction from Obamacare's launch failures.

    Congressional Democrats are increasingly coming to realize that Obamacare's launch failures are providing a distraction from the partial government shutdown.

  30. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

    There is a Women's Hall of Fame, and Nancy Pelosi has been inducted.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Let me guess, they left out margaret thatcher?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        Wow, they had room for winona laduke but not ayn rand, isabel patterson or rose wilder lane.

        1. Almanian!   12 years ago

          Winona LaDuke, but not Winona Ryder? FOR SHAME.

          1. Raven Nation   12 years ago

            Winona Ryder's statue was in there but she stole it the first time she visited.

        2. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

          Ayn Rand? This isn't the terrorist hall of fame. Ho ho ho!

        3. Zeb   12 years ago

          Well, most people think Rand is evil and have never heard of the other two.

          The whole idea of a women's hall of fame seems rather patronizing (or maybe matronizing) and insulting to women.

    2. Rhywun   12 years ago

      SERIOUSLY?

  31. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Obamacare enrollees become urban legend

    Will the Floridians who have enrolled for Obamacare please stand up?

    Nearly two weeks after the federal government launched the online Health Insurance Marketplace at HealthCare.gov, individuals who have successfully used the choked-up website to enroll for a subsidized health insurance plan have reached a status akin to urban legend: Everyone has heard of them, but very few people have actually met one.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      Gotta wait in line behind all of the Democrats' imaginary voters.

  32. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    'In two months of EU membership, exports fell by 11%'

    According to initial government estimates, following Croatia's accession to the EU on July 1, exports fell by 11 per cent, when compared with the same period in the previous year.

    The decline for the month of August alone was 19 per cent, writes Poslovni Dnevnik. During the first eight months of this year, exports were down by 6.3 per cent when compared with 2012. The reason for the fall-off, notes the newspaper, has do with the impact of EU accession.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Man, its almost like the French and the Germans are the only ones benefiting... Who saw that coming?

      1. DJF   12 years ago

        Probably the French and the Germans.

      2. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        You know what else benefited only the French and Germans?

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          NATO?

        2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

          your grandma, back when she worked the streets of Paris?

        3. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

          The protrait of the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies by van Klompf?

      3. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

        Man, its almost like the French and the Germans are the only ones benefiting

        I'm not sure that being forced to bail out Greece et al is a benefit of some kind.

  33. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Patrick Kennedy Slams 'Bible Belt' Lawmakers, Stumps For Obamacare in College Speech

    Former Rep. Patrick Kennedy disparaged "Bible Belt" lawmakers and encouraged students to fight hard for Obamacare's success in a recent speech before a room full of college students, many of whom were required to attend.

    The Oct. 8 event, hosted by Texas State University, drew an audience of more than 900 people. It's part of the academic program Common Experience, and many freshmen were required to watch the speech and write a summary on it.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Is patrick the dui guy, or is that another kennedy? Icant keep track.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder   12 years ago

        I thought that was all of them.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        I think he's the one who sleep-drove because of some prescription medication he was on. Or at least I think that's what he claimed. I'm too fucking lazy too look it up on Google right now.

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          I think he's the one who "sleep-drove" because of some "prescription medication" he was on.

        2. Zeb   12 years ago

          How was he supposed to know what "do not combine with alcohol" meant? That usually means "works better with alcohol" doesn't it?

          1. db   12 years ago

            He took the "sleepy-eye" alcohol warning to be a "winking-eye" alcohol suggestion?

    2. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

      "I attended Kennedy's speech. He is full of shite. The End."

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        +F. You did not comply with the assignment.

        /leftist professor

    3. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      "I was told I was going to hear a discussion of the country's problems from a respected statesman, but I must have gone to the wrong room because all I saw was some political hack giving us his party's talking points. In future I will read my campus map more carefully and go the right event."

    4. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      "What a beautiful campus you guys have," he said. "Protecting endangered species? That conflicted with my general view of Texas."

      "What an oppressive state you guys live in. Secular puritanism? That's exactly what I expected of Massachusetts."

  34. Fluffy   12 years ago

    I have insurance, but I decided to test out Vermont's Obamacare exchange, just to see exactly how bad the technology and the plans on offer are.

    It did in fact crash for me twice, while connecting to SSA for identity verification. (But hey, at least Vermont got that built and running - the federal exchange hasn't even accomplished that much.)

    But here's the hilarious part. It told me that I was approved to buy plans through the exchange...but that I'd have to "Accept" one of the offered plans before it would tell me the premium or deductible!

    That's one way to solve your enrollment problem!

    1. itsnotmeitsyou   12 years ago

      You have to buy it to find out what's in it.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      here's the hilarious part.

      I hope someone is constructing a website/blog documenting misadventures of people trying to use the exchanges. I have read a few *truly outrageous* anecdotes, without even trying to search them out. It is obvious that "overloading" is only one of *many* problems with the system(s).

      1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

        Long story made short: Tried about 40 times before getting UserID and password. Tried another 40 times before I was able to complete forms. After about 40 screens of forms of info on me, wife, and kids, finally, it was time for electronic signature. Then the site advised that it was unable to verify my identity, and that I had to print out a notification and send it with copies of drivers license, passport, etc. to an address in Kentucky before I can find out what a policy costs.

  35. The Last American Hero   12 years ago

    RE: Afghan withdrawal - So is it the evil teabaggers in the Karzai administration refusing to work things out with Obama or is he just inept at negotiations?

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      He's brilliantly failing at the negotiations so that he can get out of the country, which is obviously his real goal all along.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        It worked so well in Iraq, why not try it again here?

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Exactly.

    2. WTF   12 years ago

      Obama doesn't negotiate, he dictates.

  36. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

    Crew members: 'Captain Phillips' is one big lie

    It's made for Hollywood: the story of an average American family man, captain of a cargo ship in dangerous waters, his vessel overtaken by armed Somali pirates demanding ransom, saving his crew by allowing himself to be removed from the boat and taken hostage.
    All of this is the basis for "Captain Phillips," starring Tom Hanks as the titular, real-life hero. The only problem, say some members of the real Capt. Phillips' crew, is none of it is true.

    Capt. Richard Phillips, they say, is no hero, and the film is one big lie.

    "Phillips wasn't the big leader like he is in the movie," says one crew member, who, for legal reasons, spoke with The Post anonymously. He worked very closely with Phillips on the Maersk Alabama and was alarmed by his behavior from the beginning. Phillips, he says, had a bad reputation for at least 12 years prior, known as a sullen and self-righteous captain.

    "No one wants to sail with him," he says.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      I may be wrong about this, but a boss seen as a demanding asshole by his employees is not always a bad thing.

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        Not to disagree with your statement in principle, but another article I read on this guy / incident stated that one of the reasons the ship was captured was that he sailed the ship too close to the coast.

        Sometimes a dick is just a dick.

      2. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

        Sure, but that wasn't the problem. He ignored the pirate threat despite many warnings and a chart one of the crew put together showing the high number of attacks in the area, ignored the 7 warning emails that suggested staying at least 600 miles from shore due to pirate activity, took the ship 235 miles off the Somali coast with the stern light on AFTER they had already been chased by pirates earlier in the day, had no plan for when they were finally attacked, and ignored SOP, which is for the crew to cut lights and power and to lock themselves below deck before being boarded, and instead let himself be captured.

      3. Emmerson Biggins   12 years ago

        demanding asshole? not always a bad thing.

        stupid asshole? almost always a bad thing.

  37. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    Hamilton, I trust you stayed to the end yesterday?

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      That was out of control. I almost shut it off in disgust but remembered...it's baseball.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        I actually was referring to the Patriots game, as I know he's a season ticket holder...

        1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

          I hate Tom Brady. Fucking hate him, and I have made it no secret on here. But as soon as I knew his TD pass had resulted in Rob Ryan having an absolute meltdown on the Saints sideline, I put my hate aside for a moment.

          Good job, Brady.

          1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

            Context.

            Awesome.

          2. Brett L   12 years ago

            Agreed. Anything that makes a Ryan brother look like an asshole is a plus.

        2. Restoras   12 years ago

          Ah...well, that's good too!

  38. Troy muy grande boner   12 years ago

    Federal judges, who have apparently been complaining that the sequester, a cut in the rate of spending growth, has made operating the judiciary difficult, are now complaining about the partial government shutdown

    In their defense, being a rubber stamp is hard work.

  39. Rich   12 years ago

    "If we are prohibited from using the word Allah then we have to re-translate the whole Bible, if it comes to that," Ester Moiji from Sabah state told the BBC.

    "Allah is not a Malay word. If they [non-Muslims] say they want to use a Malay word they should use Tuhan instead of Allah," Zainul Rijal Abu Bakar, a lawyer representing the government, told the BBC.

    1) Just refer to Allah as "[insert arbitrary Name here]" and be done with it.

    2) Get everyone concerned together, and earnestly ask iaNh for a sign.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      "Get everyone concerned together"

      This sounds a lot like moral equivalence. One side is "guilty" of using words others don't like, and the other side is using govt force to censor them. Sounds like the wrong is all on one side here.

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        That's why you get iaNh to decide.

        Perhaps with an asteroid strike.

    2. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      Dear Allah, if you think bans on blasphemy should all be repealed and the people responsible should be horsewhipped, please send me absolutely no sign.

  40. JEP   12 years ago

    Ok I need some direction here. I debating whether scientific research is better funded through government or through private industry, and my friends are choosing a reason for government that I don't agree with.

    "This is the entire purpose of a government: to provide services that are not profitable for the private sector."

    Is there such thing as work that needs to be done for the good of the population but may not be profitable.

    This is a pretty self serving definition, in that it can be used to justify anything and everything as long as the service is "good" for society.

    Any ideas to counter that?

    1. JEP   12 years ago

      I haven't broken out a counter definition of government yet: to protect the individual's rights. I want to discredit their argument first...

      1. CE   12 years ago

        You can't protect rights when you're funded by violating rights.

    2. Almanian!   12 years ago

      I'd avoid encounters with "friends" like that. They might get their stupid on you.

      But, if you must...

      The entire purpose of the US government (assuming that's the argument), is the provide THE ENUMERATED TASK LISTED IN THE CONSTITUTION. That's it. Everything else is overreach. Assuming other "services" are "not profitable" is...stupid. ANYTHING will be provided by the private sector...at the right price. Which requires a "free market".

      Which we don't have.

      So...enjoy your conversation, and I hope you aren't showered with too much derp.

      1. JEP   12 years ago

        As usual, the debate boils down to someone saying "I have this idea of what should be done, but the majority of the population isn't capable of understanding why it's important. Therefore we need government(full of smart people)to make those decisions that us peons aren't capable of."

        Typical statist nonsense, but I'm trying to convince they're wrong, not just piss them off.

        1. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

          But, somebody IS profiting, just not on a voluntary basis

        2. Almanian!   12 years ago

          Are you doing the Lord's Work? or a Fool's Errand??

          You decide 🙂 Good luck!

        3. CE   12 years ago

          It's greed, pure and simple. They want to get their greedy little hands on someone else's money, to do important things with it. Important according to them.

    3. Jordan   12 years ago

      Your friends are of course free to donate their money to the research scientists of their choice. If other people don't want to, who are they to force them?

    4. Bam!   12 years ago

      Because the private sector has never financed anything that is unprofitable.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        You can always restrict your definition of the private sector to exclude charities and nonprofits!

        1. Bam!   12 years ago

          Set aside charities and non-profits. Bell Labs and Xerox PARC conducted who knows how many billions of dollars in research without the intent of profit.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            Well, that's not true the way you phrased it. Because Bell Labs didn't give away the modem or switching technologies and PARC did lots of things besides the GUI and mouse that eventually made money for Xerox. Better to say that these companies understood the inherent risk that no single technology researched might be profitable, but it was on balance a profitable undertaking to do such research.

            1. Bam!   12 years ago

              I don't see anything wrong with the way I phrased it: Bell Labs, Xerox PARC, and many other companies finance billions of dollars of research without the intent of making profit. The fact that they sometimes end up profiting from their discoveries and inventions doesn't disqualify this.

              This is in contradiction to the original poster's friend who asserted that the private sector would find the unprofitability of research a non-starter.

              1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                They intended to make a profit in the examples you gave.

                1. CE   12 years ago

                  They hoped to make big profits on some discoveries, but didn't mind if others didn't pan out.

              2. Brett L   12 years ago

                To clarify, Bam, Bell Labs and PARC are the R&D wings of technology companies, who hope to make enough on their successes to cover the cost of their failures and turn a profit. It would be like saying Pharma companies don't intend to make a profit because their R&D arms toss aside thousands of drugs after spending millions of dollars.

                1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

                  Jesus, Xerox was stupid about PARC, though. They should have just handed Steve Jobs a billion dollars, they would have come out ahead.

                  1. Brett L   12 years ago

                    Yes. Thankfully, the argument is not about how well these for-profit research facilities did in maximizing return on their inventions.

    5. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

      This is the entire purpose of a government: to provide services

      Well, I'm convinced. Anything the public needs can be done by the government for free, and that's the entire purpose of it!

    6. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

      I had a similar debate once. I was beaten over the head with social contract nonsense.

      1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

        Also, the internetz!

      2. Zeb   12 years ago

        So, not only do you not get to choose whether to be bound by the social contract, the terms can also be changed on you without notice?

        1. Certified Public Asskicker   12 years ago

          Yes. It is the worst contract ever and it only gets worse apparently.

    7. JW   12 years ago

      Any ideas to counter that?

      Every private donation to universities devoted solely to research.

      Make sure they search up Andrew Carnegie.

      1. CE   12 years ago

        Yeah, but what good are all those libraries now?

    8. robc   12 years ago

      I debating whether scientific research is better funded through government or through private industry

      Its a moral issue not a pragmatic one.

      Its better thru private industry because it is immoral to take someone's money to fund something they have no interest in funding.

      1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

        Of course, the prog argument to that is "but, the common good! It's ok to ask people to sacrifice a little of their money to make everybody's lives better! Look at NASA!"

  41. Rich   12 years ago

    Shelves in Walmart stores in Springhill and Mansfield, LA were reportedly cleared Saturday night, when the stores allowed purchases on EBT cards even though they were not showing limits. The chaos that followed ultimately required intervention from local police

    A small taste of things to come. 8-(

    1. db   12 years ago

      Sometimes I wonder if America's future looks like a hybrid of Rand's concept of Galt's Gulch, Heinlein's gated, armored enclaves as in I Will Fear no Evil, and the corporate citizenship of Gibson's Snow Crash surrounded by a wasteland of EBT dependents.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Stephenson wrote Snow Crash, but that's an easy mistake.

        1. db   12 years ago

          Tattoo "POOR MEMORY FOR AUTHORS" on my forehead. Wow.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            Nah. I think that one was written explicitly in the cyberpunk style of Gibson's early successes. Although, Gibson would never stoop to naming the main character Hiro Protagonist. That's vintage Stephenson getting caught up on something too cute.

    2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      My bet is the Dystopia will be a cross between Brazil, Brave New World, and Idiocracy

  42. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    White Dog - starring Burl Ives:

    'Racist' LA police dogs only bite Latinos and African-Americans

    A new report focusing on the Canine Special Detail of the LA Sherriff's Department (LASD) has uncovered a vast increase in the number of minority individuals bitten by police dogs since 2004.

    And in the first six months of this year, every single victim of a bite by a LASD dog was African-American or Latino.The data was published in a new report by the Police Assessment Resource Centre (Parc), a Los Angeles-based non-profit organisation, devoted to "advancing effective and accountable policing".

    1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

      Maybe white people aren't committing crimes?

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        *** rising intonation ***

        What about Bernie Madoff?

    2. Zeb   12 years ago

      Were the people who were bit by the dogs committing crimes and were there good reasons to use the dogs? If so, I think a little more data is needed before drawing any conclusions about bias.

      1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        Perhaps, but I would honestly be shocked if it turned out the LAPD had some way of causing people pain and didn't turn out to be using it on innocent people just for shits and giggles.

  43. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Business question:

    My wife's new lawyer business: She has had a few clients, but not the amount to support the payment of her monthly rent + student loan payments.

    She met with a salesman from Gannet, who owns one of the local TV stations among many others businesses. They have a system to jack up her google search ranking for anyone looking for a local lawyer. He included documentation showing the success of the program: over 100 calls/mo, etc.

    Cost is ~$720/mo. But they want a three month advance.

    Should she do it or not?

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Does she have $2500 and does she plan to stick with it for at least 3 months? I think you have to spend some money to get out there.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        We can spend the money... guess I'm hoping to see some real return on the investment, not salesmen pie-in-the-sky talk.

        1. db   12 years ago

          I have a relative who sells for a firm that offers services to tweak and enhance AdWords positioning for web sites.

          The whole thing sounds like a scam.

    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      That's steep. Avvo does it cheaper. Also, ask the local bar association if they have a referral program.

      1. CE   12 years ago

        Just start a law blog and do videos on YouTube and link to them. Since Google owns YouTube they bump up your stats automatically.

    3. Spoonman.   12 years ago

      When my FIL started his one-man lawyer business he didn't make money for a year, and he was expecting it to take three.

    4. Biden's Scroteplugs   12 years ago

      I wouldn't. I'd spend the money on Google AdWords.

      In my opinion, SEO contracts are only about what you pay and short on guarantees of what you get.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        She did have a $250 Google Adwords coupon. That got blown through in three weeks with only minor returns.

        I guess I'll find out the hard way - she apparently went and agreed to the contract.

        Whoops, so much for hashing this out.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Let us know the results. Just to close the loop.

        2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          There are tricks. Clicks from iPhones are stupid expensive, (I've seen individual clicks that cost $15. That's one person, clicking an iPhone ad once) and should be avoided until the business is established. I'll presume you & Mrs. Humungus were saavy enough to limit your ads by location and keywords.

          I hope the SEO works out. If you ever decide to try Adwords again, let us know.

    5. Fluffy   12 years ago

      Does she have an established specialty?

      Because without one, paying an SEO firm to make you pop up in generic searches might not help a lot.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        Family Law, Child Custody, Special Needs trusts - that sort of thing. At least according to the salesman, cranking up SEO for criminal defense is a whole 'nother jump in $$$.

        1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          Some of those would lead to search term keywords that are very specific. Also, Adwords allows you to advertize locally, which will limit pointless clicks.

        2. CE   12 years ago

          Most people still check the phone book.

      2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        I think Biden's Scrote & Fluffy are right. I work for a company that does a lot of advertising through Google AdWords, and even with a full time person monitoring keywords and placements for campaigns, our goal for a sale is around $100. I don't think paying lots of money to increase visibility to indifferent people is the way to go. Focus your marketing money as tightly as possible.

  44. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

    There's just no way that taking away one of the very few stress releases from soldiers in a war zone could have any unintended consequences.

    An image making the rounds on Facebook gave us a chuckle ? it's a notice posted in a port-a-potty on Camp Leatherneck in Helmand province, Afghanistan, and it sends a clear message to the troops deployed there:

    Stop playing with yourself, or else.

    1. Bam!   12 years ago

      My first combat jack...

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      What is "RC (SW)"?

      1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

        Regional Command - Southwest.

        AF is split into regional commands. I was in RC East, for example.

        1. Rich   12 years ago

          Thank you!

          I hope you incurred no body-fluid-related illnesses in RC(E).

          1. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

            Fortunately I did not.

    3. Swiss Servator, Kneel to Zug!   12 years ago

      If you are in a port-a-can in AF and you can pull one off, you might not have a sense of smell...

      But seriously, go right ahead, just take the happy sock somewhere besides the shitter.

    4. Steve G   12 years ago

      ha! That's not the first one I've seen. I remember an official memo about it in Iraq. I think it was the contractor or something and they were saying it was clogging the drains.
      "Desert Jellyfish" in the shower!! *think about it for sec

      1. Steve G   12 years ago

        Found it:
        http://i4.photobucket.com/albu.....74dd48.jpg

    5. Hillary's Clitdong   12 years ago

      When jerking off is outlawed, only outlaws will be relaxed.

    6. H. ReardEn   12 years ago

      This is my rifle, this is my gun...

  45. MJGreen   12 years ago

    A third NYPD officer, a member of the Internal Affairs unit, admitted to being part of the motorcycle gang that was involved in a road range incident with an SUV driver in Manhattan.

    An Internal Affairs officer? Was he there to keep tabs on the other undercover cops? Was someone from Super Internal Affairs watching him? This is getting to be a Coen brothers movie.

    "Is anyone here not a cop!?"

  46. Fluffy   12 years ago

    BTW:

    Tom Brady, baby!

    David Ortiz, bitchez!

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      I had endzone seats yesterday, which I typically don't like. There's a lot of risk of just having to watch the big screen while everything happens on the far end of the field. I got lucky with the side of the field it came down to.

      1. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

        My experience with endzone seats is that the people there tend to be just a little bit crazy, in a good way. Lousy seats, but great fans.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          It seemed like the crowd there was louder than usual. I'm not sure if that was because of the game or the seats though.

    2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      You've just zoomed past nicole for Worst Person Ever.

    3. robc   12 years ago

      BC gave away the game to Clemson.

  47. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    Cop thinks it's funny to falsify official documents and basically not do his job. He is, of course, given a vacation although it was not paid.

    1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      He seems to think the community contact forms he's obliged to fill out are some kind of joke - so he listed his contacts as celebrities.

      Why are there such problems with cop/"civilian" relations?

  48. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    Shia LaBeouf is a weird fucking guy...and a douchebag.

    1. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

      It's pretty funny how he's always getting his ass kicked in public.

  49. Brett L   12 years ago

    In which Conor Friedersdorf bashes Republicans for scoring cheap points by rallying vets on the mall. Its a Tea Party hit-piece. How dare those mouth-breathers be successful!

    But part of me can't help but read about the rally at the World War II Memorial and think, "To hell with you, conservative activists. This perfectly illustrates your uselessness." I don't just mean that, but for the useless government shutdown that Tea Party Republicans provoked, the World War II Memorial would be open.

    What actually bothers me most about this little rally is what it says about the priorities of Tea Party leaders like Senator Cruz and Sarah Palin, and the rank-and-file conservative activists who trudged out to the World War II Memorial to protest its closure. They speak the language of liberty in expressing outrage at the metal barricades, insisting that it's an insult to soldiers who risked their lives to beat the fascists. Meanwhile, the Veterans Affairs Department has furloughed almost 8,000 employees (half are veterans). Its backlog of disability applications has been increasing for the duration.

    1. Ruckus   12 years ago

      The projection in that piece is great.

      Protests are nothing more than political theater for these people. Or if they actually intend to effect change, their strategy verges on nonsensical

      They won't marshall anything like the focus or grassroots passion that's needed to actually improve the care of veterans in America or the degree to which our liberties are secure, because bettering governance is not their goal. Publicity stunts optimized for generating outrage in a given news cycle are all they've got, and even those haven't been effective at winning converts.

    2. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

      So basically he's upset because his guy's publicity stunt is being upstaged?

      And he entirely fails to mention that the Republicans already passed a bill to restore VA funding, which the Democrats rejected. What does that say about the priorities of leaders like Harry Reid and Barack Obama, and the rank-and-file liberal pundits who support them?

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Yeah. I like Friedersdorf generally as an ambassador to libertarianish thought at The Atlantic, but I definitely think he's subject to principals instead of principles on issues. Palin Derangement Syndrome may be incubating at The Atlantic even after Andrew Sullivan moved on.

      2. Ruckus   12 years ago

        Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., called the Republican effort a "wacky idea" that would simply "cherry-pick some of the few parts of government that they like."
        "First, we need to end the government shutdown, and then Democrats are happy to agree on funding specific items," Reid said.

        Every passing day I hate Harry Reid more and more.

        1. Fatty Bolger   12 years ago

          "I'm willing to negotiate, as soon as you agree to give me everything I want."

          1. Ruckus   12 years ago

            Makes sense coming from the party that said:

            "We have to pass it to see what's in it"

        2. KDN   12 years ago

          By Reid's logic the Republicans should just pass a clean CR for two weeks and then go through the piecemeal funding route. But in order for this to be at all successful, you have to ignore just how much of a mendacious piece of shit Reid is.

  50. CE   12 years ago

    The US may withdraw all troops from Afghanistan next year after all; President Obama previously set an October 31 deadline...

    Can you win the Nobel Peace Prize twice?

    1. trshmnstr   12 years ago

      "For not droning people in over 100 countries, Barack Obama receives the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize!"

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