Al-Jazeera America Collects "Shutdown Stories"
What's yours?


The government partially shut down at midnight after lawmakers couldn't agree on a deal to keep the federal government funded. Al-Jazeera America, America's newest cable network, is collecting government shutdown stories, which includes gems like this:
I am currently in Korea and still like to know what the weather is at my house in PA. The government shutdown prevents me from receiving the National Weather Service tweets and keeping up with the weather back home.
And this:
My name is Phil Egidi and I am from Hotchkiss, Colorado. I am 58 years old and have been employed for 2 years as an Environmental Scientist by the US EPA in Washington DC. Since I have taken this job, my wages have been frozen, I have been furloughed, and now am shut down. I have had to cash in portions of my 401K to make ends meet. My wife and two kids remain behind in rural western Colorado, taking care of our land while I finish my career as federal civil servant. I only see my family about three or four times a year because I cannot afford to fly back and forth more often. It is very difficult for my 12 year old son and 17-year old daughter to have a Dad on Skype and text, and not in person. My wife recently lost her job, and jobs are few and far between out there. We have no income as of this morning…
I have specialized in naturally occurring radioactivity, such as radon and uranium and radium (e.g., radium is found in waste-water from fracking) for almost 30 years, both in the private sector, government contractor and with State government.
I am proud and honored to be a civil servant and resent this treatment by the House. I could make much more money in the private sector, but am committed to updating our outdated radiation policies and regulations.
I make a fair wage (GS-14), and feel for those less fortunate; but at the end of the day, we all have to make ends meet, and this is going to be very difficult.
Share your own shutdown stories below!
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Mt names Teaching Student and I'm an alcoholic.... wait, that's not why we're here?
I am currently in Korea and still like to know what the weather is at my house in PA. The government shutdown prevents me from receiving the National Weather Service tweets and keeping up with the weather back home.
Jesus fuck, this is laughably absurd.
Yes. It is a complete fabrication. Because there is a thing called Google. Here is the result for a GIS "weather Altoona PA": https://www.google.com/#q=weather+altoona+pa
Today's Altoona forecast: meth.
What the fuck are you doing in Altoona, Warty?
Meth.
I hitchhiked through PA in 1982 and was picked up by a guy from Altoona. He was a train conductor. Every morning he would drive from Altoona to Williamsport (or some such place), get in the train's engine and then pilot the train to Altoona. Then he'd drive another train back to Williamsport, get in his car and then drive back home to Altoona. I accidently left my hat in his car.
Hey Warty, as long as you're in Altoona doing meth, can you take a few extra minutes to pick up my hat?
I would pay good money if this actually happened (Warty getting your hat, that is).
Me too - I'd kick in a twenty.
I'M HERE FOR THE HAT!!
wait, what are you talking about?
THE HAT! THE HAT! WHERE'S THE FUCKING HAT?!
Went for the hat, stayed for the torture/rape.
Sure. You left your "hat" in his car. I believe you. Listen, sometimes you ride in a strange car and you lose your..."hat". *makes exaggerated finger quotes*
Engineers operate (drive) the train; conductors manage passengers. Also, "locomotive" is preferred to "engine" in the US. /rail geek
Dude, that's obviously not the official government weather. For all you know, those search results could be fabricated by sinister science-denier propagandists.
All this waetehr is going push off to the north and hit Altoona.
I make the weather.
if it's not on twitter it doesn't count
Twitter is the internet. It should be regulated like a public utility. Because Egypt.
Everyone knows it's literally possible to get information from remote places like Pennsylvania via the internet without using the government.
Keeping up with the weather back home? Why the fuck would anyone want to do that in the first place? And why can't you just download one of the thousand-odd apps that can do it better than NWS tweets?
A new life awaits you in the free-market industries!
+6 Nexus
Unlike in Blade Runner, our robots will be simple, dumb, and fully capable of replacing fast-food employees and waitstaff.
My wife went to an Outback recently, where the order was taken on a tablet in the booth.
iPads are much easier to kill when they go rogue.
My understanding is that the definition of an iPad going rogue is when someone successfully loads Google Maps on it.
Outback:tablet - that's what I've been waiting for. No more flagging down the waitron.
My wife went to an Outback recently, where the order was taken on a tablet in the booth.
Beats having your order FUBAR'd by the substandard wait staff I've frequently encountered there, and probably lowers prices too!
And once they install a "flirt" button it's all over.
The Outback near me has never once - not one single time - gotten my takeout order correct. Most of the time it's them forgetting the plasticware I specifically ordered, but a few times it's been actual food items. The last steak I got from them was supposed to be medium rare, and it was literally as tough as my leather handbag. And I mean literally, literally. It was unchewable by human teeth.
Why do you gnaw your purse, KK?
Sometimes I get nervous....don't judge me!
I had a friend in kindergarten who would do that. We eventually did date in high school, but that is my earliest memory of her, shaking her head with a pink strap in her mouth as the teacher tried to take her purse from her.
Why do you go to Outback, KK?
And I mean literally, literally. It was unchewable by human teeth.
A rare steak indeed.
What kind of moster gets take-away steak?
+n
What kind of moster gets take-away steak?
Someone who's going to eat it right there in the parking lot, because if you wait any longer, even the best steak on the planet is now just a room-temperature steak.
Someone who just drove 8 hours from her parents' house in NC where her mom died a few days earlier and didn't feel like cooking.
/guilt trip
Wow. I've never done takeout there but the Outback where I go is one of the few places I go that I always get great service and food. In fact, it's one of the few chain restaurants I'll order steak from because most places outside of expensive steak houses screw it up. I always order mine medium rare as well. It's all about the management i suppose.
Yep, I'm with JB here.
I, too, like a value-priced steak restaurant. Other Outbacks I've been to have been great.
Maybe there's a difference between the SOBs they have doing the takeaway service and the wait staff at the tables.
Maybe there's a difference between the SOBs they have doing the takeaway service and the wait staff at the tables.
The takeout people know that most people aren't going to discover their order's been fucked up until they get home, and that most won't come back and complain either.
most places outside of expensive steak houses screw it up.
Even Sizzler?
Now if they just get a steak cooking robot that can hit the temps you ask for.
Now if they just get a steak cooking robot that can hit the temps you ask for.
There's only one way I've ever gotten a steak the way I want it, and that's by cooking it myself.
I've never had a problem at Outback. It's probably my favorite downmarket sitdown restaurant.
Almost all the Outbacks around here are owned by a huge prick who was a major force behind repeatedly blocking legal carry of firearms in places that serve alcohol. While he eventually lost that battle, I don't particularly want to give him any patronage to this day.
Uh oh, you might trigger some of the crowd telling you you're a sad person for letting your politics influence how you interact with businesses. Or you won't because it's over an issue that they agree with you on.
Neoliberal Kochtopus|9.26.13 @ 12:37PM
Yes, but that means you've effectively politicized a chicken sandwich bloomin' onion. And I feel bad for you that you make that choice.
No?
Somehow it's only a problem when we do it, Jesse.
I admit it didn't occur to me to say anything, but yeah, politicizing something as delicious as cheese fries is a problem.
I've been kicked out of far more places for being politically incorrect, twice for not backing some liberal's lunatic ideas about guns, non possessing, mind you, but not giving aid and comfort to my enemy, than I will ever boycott in my life. I may not be without sin, but I have been stoned.
Yeah, the convoluted narrative was totally worth getting to that last phrase.
Don't quit your day job, Killaz.
I understand that Bloomin' Brands is working to buy back their franchises. Or, at least, they were doing that at one time.
I'm not really a fan of the bloomin' onion. Too greasy.
My favorite steak establishment went out of business a few years ago. Can't even think of the name at the moment. They spiked their Long Island Iced Teas with moonshine. Those were incredible, so had absolutely no reason to go to Outback. Still don't. Ruth's Chris is just up a few roads from me.
Ruth's Christ also costs 8 times as much as Outback.
Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?
Oh, that was really nice.
I'm failing the Voight-Kampff Empathy for Government Test as we type.
Phil, there is this wonderful site called weather dot com...
Also, you should know that much of the data published by w.c is actually derived from NWS radar and NOAA satellites, all of which are still operating since the weather radar is an essential service and it's not like the satellites drop out of the sky when the money dries up, despite what Rachel Maddow may have told you.
Oops, that was for nameless Korea located guy, not Phil.
Phil probably needed to hear it, too.
But NOAA.com is shut down! http://governmentshutdown.noaa.gov/
I frequently check the weather on weather.gov, and it's running fine. Guess that's an essential service... 🙂
And where does weather.com get its data?
See above. Also, some of the TV stations have their own weather radar.
Quit denying that the government shutdown isn't as bad as NPR says it is.
Also, non-Federal entities (like Unisys and the University of Utah) run their own weather models.
Admittedly mostly using NOAA data, of course, but that's still present.
Quit complaining and get a real job, Phil.
Boo effin' hoo, Phil.
Seriously, why blame the House when the President said, "Absolutely, I will negotiate"?
. I could make much more money in the private sector, but am committed to updating our outdated radiation policies and regulations.
"I could make more money, but I'd have to give up my power."
We can't go back to the days of unregulated radiation.
My name is Kaptious Kristen. As a non-essential Federal contractor in DC, I am still on the clock and working, as are my civil service colleagues.
Of course you are. The federal government is addicted to spending money like a coke-head is addicted to cocaine. You simply can't turn the faucet off, no matter what the consequences. Gotta get that fix.
Although, that's kind of an insult to coke addicts.
"Working", right.
Yep. Moving files from one development site to another. Also waiting for the sys admin to figure out how to establish a WordPress development site so I can start testing an upgrade.
Exciting stuff! Requires my full concentration!
You know I'm just joshin' ya. I know you probably work twice as hard as the normal public sector worker.
The Feds I work with "oversee". That's the entirety of their job descriptions - monitor the work of the contractors. Nice gig if you can get it!
I am still on the clock and working
At the Office of Posting on Libertarian Blogs?
I make a fair very good wage (GS-14)...
I could make much more money in the private sector
But only by taking a job in which you'd help your employer navigate around those regulations. If the current regulatory environment disappeared you'd be teaching rocks for jocks at community college.
He's got to make his mind up on whether his wage is fair or if he could make more doing it elsewhere.
A GS-14 with DC locality pay is getting anywhere from $110 to $140K a year.
If your living hand to mouth on that kind of salary, you must be a meth addict or have a gambling problem. And there is no way in hell your making more than that in the private sector for looking at dirt samples.
FUCK OFF SLAVER!
your = you're
You don't understand. They froze his wages. That means they couldn't give him raises while the economy was tanking!
GS-14 pay scale for DC area
Step 1 $105,211
Step 2 $108,717
Step 3 $112,224
Step 4 $115,731
Step 5 $119,238
Step 6 $122,744
Step 7 $126,251
Step 8 $129,758
Step 9 $133,264
Step 10 $136,771
Yeah, he's making over $100k and saying "fair wage". If you struggle raising a family on that, you're doing it wrong.
And don't forget that he's getting DC pay but the family lives in CO.
Well, he's probably paying the mortgage on his house and an apartment in the city. But from downthread, it looks like he's had his house for over 20 years. His payments can't be that much. I know that living in DC can get expensive, but sheesh, man. He should still make it pretty decently. Said his wife had recently been laid off.
I do fine by myself on $60k/year
DC is not that expensive if you make a few "sacrifices". Like living in a group house, which are a dime-a-dozen, and not just for students. In fact, some Congresscritters have even lived in group houses. But then, you would have to share kitchen, living room and bathroom space. The horror! You may also need to live outside DC proper, in a dog-forsaken place like western Alexandria or Fairfax County. More horror!
But yeah, if you want to live on your own in a one-bedroom apartment in Georgetown or Dupont, it can get a tad expensive.
So by "group house" you mean "multiroom apartment"? Terrifying.
I mean an actual house, with a yard, on a nice tree-lined street. I've lived in many of them over the years. Never paid more than $600. Had my own bedroom, phone line, and cable service in all of them. Horrible. I still have nightmares.
Note the use of the word "public". Non-public shit will go on as usual. And the American people let themselves be emotionally manipulated like this every day.
My name is A. Serious Man, formerly Right and Honourable and a Viscount, and as best as I can tell, the government shutdown has not affected higher education and I will still be taking my LSAT test on Saturday.
Wishing you well with that, SM.
Goddamit turn back now you fool.
Don't become a lawyer. You have been warned.
don't become indentured to debt. Run away. RUN AWAY!
Take the test. If your score is not 170 or higher, don't even consider law school. If it is, still be very careful.
Note: mine was 171, wishing I never went to law school.
Thank you all for the concern, but I'm only taking it to keep my options open. If I score very well, like above 170, I'll take a look to see what schools are open to me and if I'm eligible for grants and scholarships.
Seriously, if I cannot stop you, I can at least soften the blow:
- If you want to and have the choice, practice in a smaller town. 90% of attorneys live in metro areas. The rural areas have no representation and there's gold in the streets.
- Sign up for your bar review right away to lock in your tuition and get all the study materials for free. Then use those to take your law school exams.
- Start working at a firm as soon as you can.
My advice is a little different from NK's. I would suggest practicing in a big law firm in a big metro area for at least 3 or 4 years and then making a transition to a smaller firm/smaller town or going inhouse. As much as Big Law was not my cup of tea, the experience was intense and invaluable, and the paycheck couldn't be beaten.
Also, there's wunderground, which collects data from private stations.
Nuh uh! The government makes the weather.
Wait, if the government shuts down they can't save us from global warming! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Todd Flanders: Daddy, what do taxes pay for?
Ned Flanders: Oh, why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine! And lets not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em!
I'm a web developer. We needed to push some changes to our e-commerce site in preparation for the holiday season, but we discovered that the Internet has been shut down along with DARPA, the roads are closed so we can't deliver our products, and the Republicans cancelled the Christmas season. We have resorted to selling drugs to the children who have been turned away from their Headstart daycare centers.
You brought tears to my eyes with that. Perfect antidote to It's a Wonderful Life type schmaltz.
Also, just learned yesterday where your handle derives from - brilliant.
*Rises and begins thunderous applause*
Roads closed? You mean you still have roads? Ours disappeared a few minutes after midnight.
Looters have stolen the asphalt to sell to Russian salvage companies.
On topic: My life has been completely and utterly unaffected by this "shutdown." I suspect for most Americans, it will be exactly the same.
My life has actually improved because of the shutdown. The markets are up today, which is a reversal from the sell-off over the last week on fear of the ooming shutdown. More shutdown please!
More shutdown for me too, please!
^pretty much this^
How The Military Is Affected By The Government Shutdown
My neighbor has both dogs and cats. LIVING TOGETHER!
MADNESS!!!! The world is OVER, thanks alot republicans!
It's like Somalia around here. If I peer out my windows I can see people who are probably on their way to get gay married.
And engage in cannibalism, yes?
/recycled Katrina meme off
Some government websites are continuing to run without updates, but a number of sites have chosen to take themselves down or implement redirects.
It's not clear whether that's actually saving money, or simply some agencies deciding to throw a tantrum of their own.
It's pure tantrum. The server is still up and running. It's just serving a "boo hoo we haz a sad" page instead of the normal content.
The shutdown isn't designed as a cost-savings measure. It's because no money has been appropriated for X agency. It's like going to the grocery store and realizing you forgot your wallet after already putting your stuff on the belt.
I'm not sure that analogy works. In some of these cases, depending on the contract, it really doesn't cost money to keep the server up.
It's like going to the grocery store and realizing you forgot your wallet, so you take off your pants you wore into the store and leave them on the belt too.
Which stores does this happen at? Asking for a friend.
Check out Page 14:
The base pay for a GS-14 Step One is $85,000. Where the hell is all of Phil's money going exactly?
Meth.
Taxes.
It's not really his money anyway, it's the governments you see. So he really shouldn't be bitching. Government giveth away and government taketh.
/Tony
Weekly cross-country flights and acres of land, judging by his whining. I'm sure that's the tip of the iceberg. BUT HE'S JUST SCRAPING BY!!1
What a fucking clown.
^THIS^
Asshole pretty much admits that he still has property out in western CO. Probably lots of it, since there's not much out there. Hey dipshit: sell your land in CO and move your family out to DC with you. Cut your expenses back to what you can afford and quite whining like a self entitled little bitch.
That doesn't sound right. I have applied for GS-13 jobs that started at $90k.
I was just talking the base. You get a 25% locality adjustment for being in Washington.
Ah. I see.
Nothing personal, of course, but all you government employees can get fucked.
I'm not a government employee.
OK, well all of them then.
Contractors are pretty close though.
"Federal Contractor" close enough.
I just get a little bitter when people start talking about the "decent" salary that some phoney baloney government worker makes that is nearly twice what I make actually producing things.
If I were to get hired as a Fed employee, I would get a 40% raise at the base level. And that's just the cash, not including benefits. Plus, I would do less actual work, in that I would oversee production of contractors. At the end of the day, as a contractor, I have an actual product to show, and actual work to do. But I wouldn't panic or freak out if they were to cancel our contract. Because, as a contractor, I have actual real-world skills, unlike my Fed colleagues, who don't know jack shit about jack shit.
I like you KK because you know how to cuss like a dude. I bet your fun to go drinking with.
So why do you do it? Seriously, I'm not trying to rip on you, and I suppose in a way I'm happier having some cynical libertarians doing government work than some true believer.
Warty.
Repost:
Let's take a gander at Phil's LinkedIn page, shall we?
So what *actually* happened, I suspect, is Phil is retired from the State Government in Colorado and drawing a fat retirement check and then he double-dipped and went to work for the EPA.
My fucking eyes sting from the tears for you, Phil.
And don't forget the locality adjustment. These are always positive multipliers and DC is one of the bigger ones.
More on Phil:
Here is Phil's property in Delta County, CO: http://itax.deltacounty.com/as.....um=R006235
According to Delta County, Phil bought 18 acres of land in 1987. Then he added a 1600 square foot house onto it. The total value now is about $187,000. Unless Phil is mortgaged up to his eyeballs, there is simply no way his 85,000 doesn't cover the payments on that house. If the upkeep on the land is too expensive, then he can sell.
Great detective work.
But he does have housing expenses in DC. Suspect he's not renting a room for $400 per month; more likely he's also paying a mortgage in DC so perhaps underwater on one property to pay for the other but that's not our problem.
DC=DC incl MD and VA suburbs in this case.
"Al-Jazeera America, America's newest cable network"
Are you certain it's America's newest cable network?
The government shutdown prevents me from receiving the National Weather Service tweets and keeping up with the weather back home
Wow, what a horror story. Who knew that there was only one source in the entire country to get a weather forecast from.
You didn't need to go to the obscure Al-Jazeera America for this theme. All major news outlets are going with this talking point, which Obama hit first thing this morning. The Today show led with a story about a furloughed worker - and claims that led viewers to believe that only the FAA and the post office would remain open. ABC radio led off with a worker layoff story and the administration's admonition that we should all focus on these workers.
All straight out of the playbook from the 90's. Back then the administration said they were going to shut down the government and blame the republicans, then they did - and it worked. Reid has made it clear that he's intent on getting his few days of shutdown press coverage to exact as much of a political price for the republicans as he can. Everyone I've talked to is convinced that the reason for the shutdown is Cruz talking for 21 hours and reading "Green Eggs and Ham", instead of passing a spending bill.
Nobody who isn't a Rush/Drudge follower seems to have the slightest notion that the house has several proposals on the table that Reid and Obama have refused to even consider. Even the Rush/Drudge crowd seems more focused on the "this is politically stupid" angle.
"ABC radio led off with a worker layoff story and the administration's admonition that we should all focus on these workers."
Let's concentrate on the fact that the country can get along without their services and can 'em.
It's actually a marvelous opportunity. Once it's clearly established that you're going to be blamed for slashing government services no matter what you do, then there's absolutely no downside to actually doing it. Might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb. What are they going to do to you next? Blame you even harder?
My name is Jeff, and I have eaten three human infants since the panda cam went down. Normally I would have consumed five by this time of the day, but I am just too distraught to have much of an appetite. I'll probably have to tighten my belt by a notch if this nightmare continues for another week.
I had to go to work today and the traffic was normal. But then I saw an accident in the oncoming lanes. The traffic had slowed down to look at it, bit i didn't mind because the car was all smashed in a pretty neat way. I don't think anyone was hurt and I still got to work on time.
Do you need the number of a shutdown support group?
ANARCHY!
You think a barrier like that is going to stop the sort of people who did full-scale amphibious attacks?
I hope they left their dogs at home.
Today I had chicken tikka masala for lunch. I had to eat Indian food because all of the American food was shut down.
The horror. Were you forced to consume. . .the garlic naan?
My naan was unflavored, besides for what I assume was rat poison and lead.
Garlic naan fucking rules.
It probably would have, but without the government oversite, all the garlic was replaced with heroin.
"all the garlic was replaced with heroin."
Now, where's this place at?
Now, where's this place at
I tried to look it up the place on the Department of Agriculture website, but they must have taken down the part of the site that helps you locate restaurants.
I'm totally lost.
Oooh, lucky for me I work in a town with plenty of Indian food - and I live in one with lots of awesome Mexican food (feeding people American Government Food won't?)
Damn right you got some good Mexican food; Big Star tacos. And they come with $3 shots of bourbon. Today it looks like J.W. ant is the special.
http://bigstarchicago.com/
My God, it's brilliant. The simplicity. . .it's like a crystal burrito shot into my skull. Indian and Mexican food--together.
So is this like a taco made with naan?
Or filled with vindaloo?
Yes. A cuisine bestriding the Pacific like a colossus.
It's still served with margaritas, right?
Sure. What do the Indians know about tequila?
About half of them won't drink it?
So long as they'll serve it, they can work at a IndiMex restaurant.
I have actually experienced Mexican-Indian fusion.
The fun thing is that both of them use rice and flatbread, so you can do stuff like have a chapatti burrito with basmati rice, chicken tikka masala, and mint chutney rolled up together. Then get some raita on the side. It's not really that different from how street food is sold in India anyway.
Well, a cease-and-desist letter will clear that right up.
One of my colleagues reports a normal amount of traffic heading into DC this morning.
Well, the Teathuglicans tried to shut down ROADZ, but the noble Dems wouldn't let them.
Everyone had to report today to shut down their stuff, so that's to be expected.
I am being paid a full-time wage to get a master's degree full-time at a school run by the feds. Since I wear a uniform I will continue to be paid since I'm essential. But my teachers are non-essential so I'm being paid to loaf and teach myself things.
... or was this not the sort of story you're looking for?
Let's take a gander at Phil's LinkedIn page, shall we?
So what *actually* happened, I suspect, is Phil is retired from the State Government in Colorado and drawing a fat retirement check and then he double-dipped and went to work for the EPA.
My fucking eyes sting from the tears for you, Phil.
Leave Phil alone. You just don't understand public service.
/pancakes
I make a fair wage (GS-14), and feel for those less fortunate; but at the end of the day, we all have to make ends meet, and this is going to be very difficult.
I wouldn't exactly call a GS-14 at step one 'fair' pay. I'd call it pretty much 1%er pay. But that's just little old me, here in the private sector.
Share your own shutdown stories below!
Thus far, no sightings of guys with mohawks on motorcycles. But the day is still young.
I'm working on growing my mohawk out, but I prefer my Ranchero with spear guns mounted in back.
Motorcycles upset my hemorroids.
I think I saw a guy with a hockey mask and a leather jock strap driving a dune buggy. Or maybe it was Epi's mom?
It is Tuesday.
Hey now. DO NOT forget the spikes on the shoulder pads. Those are totally necessary for the full effect.
Frankly, I was hoping for a Boderlands 2 theme out on the streets today. I am disappoint.
Its been just over 13 hours since the shutdown and that guy has had to cash out his 401k already?
🙂
401K?
What's that and where can I get one?
Stick with the guaranteed pension. Trust me on this.
It's amazing that people hear horror stories mere hours after the nonshutdown shutdown and don't say to themselves, "Hey, that's got to be a lie. What else are they lying to me about? If they have to lie about the shutdown being bad, is it really bad?"
It's actually worse than they're letting on.
I like how they're blaming all of Congress, at least.
Its fair, in this case.
The President hasnt vetoed a bill, so he has cover to say he isnt responsible.
I disagree. He has issued veto threats at the first rumblings of any funding bills out of the House.
He could try proposing a passable budget once in a while.
Or even once.
But how will I get my FLOTUS updates? I feel alone.
That's the most hilarious one I've yet seen. FLOTUS is not a Federal employee, last I checked. Write your own fucking Tweets, Michelle.
Her 2 million fake Twitter followers will be crushed.
Has OFA shut down in solidarity?
Are the fake-Twitter-account-purchasers considered essential?
Wait a minute. Why was the government funding tweets from someone who just happens to live with a government official in the first place?
I believe that whoever is FLOTUS gets a budget, and has staff, but isn't paid a salary. They get free travel and security.
Now, in a strictly Libertartian universe the White House would be sold off and no FLOTUS budget.
In a more achievable and realistic libertarianish universe, this would probably be one of the last vestigal trappings of government as it had been.
FLOTUS? Is that the first lady's twitter account? Limited updates to the first lady's twitter account? THE HORROR!!!
I just "passed a budget" in the bathroom, if you know what I mean.
If you pass too big of a "budget" I heard that can leave you with a deficit.
Sandi, is that you?
Maybe Congress just needs more fiber.
My name is BakedPenguin, and because of the government shut down, I can't do the sales reports for the phone sex company I work for. Because the terrible austerity is pushing people to watch porn for free on the Internets instead of calling a phone sex line, the way God intended.
there oughta be a law. But with no government!? AH!
In Yellowstone, the garbage dump is shut down and the bears will be forced to forage in the woods.
Nah, we'll do an emergency picnic basket airdrop, the governme....whoops I forgot, shut down and all. Shucks, poor bears.
Ah, it's been hours since I heard someone else's voice - no, let me modify that, it's been hours since I heard a *human* voice. Because the abominable shrieks and gibbers which echo through the ruined wasteland are not human. I am chilled to the very marrow as I contemplate what blasphemous horrors have been unleashed cut the budget for the Department of Guarding the Temporal Rift. Without the guards to protect us, what non-Euclidian...*things* have slipped across the barrier that ought never to have been crossed? The Age of Man is ended, and those few cowering humans who survive will live out their few remaining days in unimaginable fear and misery...
Plus, I can't get anyone to fix the copier at the Post Office.
"In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits shutdown."
"Shoggoth subsidies cut 28%"
+1 Elder Sign
Here's a shutdown story for ya.
Mother killed by Ayn Rand Novel:
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Tammy Smith
Objectivism is theNew Fascism .
218 Fans
.
8 minutes ago ( 1:09 PM)
My mother died during one of these ridiculous threats of govt. shutdowns by the Republicans. I will always associate my mother's death with their shenanigans. I say that we should have a huge backlash against these clowns, & have it now! I've had enough! Burn copies of Atlas Shrugged in a bonfire!
"Objectivism killed my father...and raped my mother!"
That wasn't Objectivism, it was Warty.
He also ate your sandwich.
Yeah but he was a Hamster and she reeked of Elderberries so not really much of a loss
WTF? Sorry for her loss, and perhaps she's mad with grief, but...
during =/= because of
Plus the call for bookburning is delicious. The mask slips again.
Tonio, I thought we agreed we'd stick to != for 'not equals'.
=/= is superior to !=, because != outside of a mathematical context is too confusing.
You are completely wrong. Even ~= is superior to =/=, and ~= is just plain retarded. Fuck MATLAB.
=/= != !=,
cause =/= is fucking wrong
Clever. [Wedgies Emmerson]
(Yes, squirrels, this is English)
?
Losers.
Libertarianism is the party of asbergers. != it is.
Aspergers.... whatever.
The government's supply of exclamation points dried up earlier this morning. Speaking of which, where did you get yours?
I don't recall agreeing to anything. [grin]
Had forgotten about != and will use that in the future.
But I'm oldschool so may slip up occasionally. Bet you kids have never seen .NE. and scoff at #. But I do know enough to not even try the one with the two angle brackets.
Plus the call for bookburning is delicious. The mask slips again.
But, it's different this time, they only want to burn the bad books.
George Costanza: I hate the big brokerage houses! Hate 'em with a passion. Big brokerage houses killed my father!
Woman: Really?
George Constanza: Well they hurt him badly. Really hurt his feelings.
Yep, that's a HuffPo Super User all right.
The more superer, the moar stoopider.
Burn copies of Atlas Shrugged in a bonfire!
It always comes back to book burning with these assclowns.
In Soviet Russia, goverment shutdown you!
happens in "free" America too.
My coworker is upset because her husband works for the FAA and is shut down. They just bought a vacation home at the shore and she's worried about the 2nd mortgage. Her husband is using the vacation to install hardwood floors. I have no sympathy.
So not an Air Traffic Controller, since the planes are still flying and ATC's are essential.
No, I don't know what he does specifically. Whatever it is, it seems to pay well.
FAA jobs pay insanely well. I recall they have the highest per cent and/or number of jobs that top out the federal pay scale.
Since I have taken this job, my wages have been frozen, I have been furloughed, and now am shut down. I have had to cash in portions of my 401K to make ends meet.
Boo fucking hoo.
This may be the most retarded thing I've ever read. Congrats to whoever this mouth breather is, you're officially the dumbest person on the internet. *golf clap*
you're officially the dumbest person on the internet
I see you haven't read the comments about the Obamacare exchanges over at HuffPo this morning.
True, I haven't. I'm actually not that into seld abuse, or at least not that kind of self abuse.
Perhaps I should have said "...dumbest person on the internet for the moment." You know, peak retard being a myth and all that.
Dear reason,
I have to urinate very badly, but I'm not sure when I flush it will go to the right place. Can you help?
Signed,
Dancing in the Heartland
#shutdown #pissedoff
Just pee in the streets. Government shutdown means you don't have to fear the sex offender list.
What streets?
The things that the craters are in.
My stocks are up a bit today. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!
My name is Banjos and I spent the morning caring for an infant who is having very large and hard poops that is causing the poor sweetie pain. DAMN YOU SHUTDOWN!!!!
NO GUBMINT XLAX AVAILABLE!!!!!
Hilariously, this morning a coworker across the hall got a PO for a about million dollar project with the military that has been "in the works" for almost 2 years.
I am the author of the Apocalypse of Peter, and the shutdown has hindered my efforts to make my work canonical.
"And this shall come at the day of judgement upon them that have fallen away from faith in God and that have committed sin: cataracts of fire shall be let loose; and darkness and obscurity shall come up and clothe and veil the whole world and the waters shall be changed and turned into coals of fire and all that is in them shall burn, and the sea shall become fire. Under the heaven shall be a sharp fire that cannot be quenched and floweth to fulfil the judgement of wrath. And the stars shall fly in pieces by flames of fire, as if they had not been created and the powers of the heaven shall pass away for lack of water and shall be as though they had not been. And the lightnings of heaven shall be no more, and the heaven shall turn to lightning and the lightnings thereof shall affright the world. The spirits also of the dead bodies shall be like unto them and shall become fire at the commandment of God.
http://gnosis.org/library/apocpeter.htm
The government shutdown prevents me from receiving the National Weather Service tweets and keeping up with the weather back home
And the FCC has pulled the telephone wires down, leaving you unable to call your mom and ask her to look out the window and see if it's raining, right?
I popped a champagne cork at 9pm Pacific Time last night as the shutdown became official.
Then I celebrated this morning by watching the stock market rally.
Boom!
Corks were popping at the health insurance agencies this morning, I'm sure. Aetna, BCBS, all of them are fucking partying now that Uncle Sam took the safety off and isn't fucking around anymore.
My name is G. Bob, and I'm a sexy alcoholic. Wait? This isn't the support group for drunk sexaholics? Huh.
Alright. Since this terrible shut down, I have had to listen to my lefty friends become more shrill and indigent every minute. At this rate I may be forced to have some of them put down, but I can't find an open government office to give me guidance on the humane way to do it.
I think a pair of Hee Haw gloves and a 6 lb. lump hammer would be humane.
My name is Leo. I ran out of shotgun shells shortly after the anarchy started, but I have been able to fend off those creatures that were once men with my crossbow. Even though the looters have not gotten to my compound yet, food and water supplies are low, and I fear that I may have to lead a raiding party of my own to the city ruins to obtain the essentials of life.
I just got back from lunch. After stepping over numerous dead bodies, I ended up trading fuel for a hunk of meat cooked over an oil drum fire.
I'd comment, but literacy has vanished during these dark hours.
Has it been hours? I've lost all sense of time since the national clock at time.gov shut down to save money by paying someone to switch the server code instead of letting what was already running keep going.
Time itself has been distorted by the shutdown of the sun around which the American economy orbits. In eight minutes, all will end.
Or, in the alternative: Auric, if we go "by the book," like Lieutenant Episiarch, hours could seem like days."
I just went to the bathroom. It could have been a minute, it could have been a thousand years. I have no idea.
This goes way beyond 'close the Washington Monument'. This is just plain nuts.
Wait, maybe they actually do employ squirrels to type in the numbers, and the squirrels have been set free to forage for their own nuts....
I think it would be just lovely if someone would demonstrate, step by step, how many of these measures are totally unrelated to any actual funding shortfall. In fact, some of them likely cost more money to do than to simply ignore.
Assuming it was baby panda meat?
Stay away from anything Asian, you'll just be hungry again in an hour.
Oil drums? Well la-de-da Mr. Moneybags. Some of us could only dream of something like an oil drum fire. Obviously you're one of those evil Rethugligans who got us in this mess.
I would kill for an oil drum fire. Unfortunately, the people that had it were very well armed, while all I have is a Biden-approved shotgun.
You should have no trouble getting a nuke now that the government is shutdown. Just go grab one, then go back and take that oil drum by force.
Pretty sure that oil drum fire is putting out emissions.
Who is going to regulate?
I'm going to peruse the aisles at Home Depot and see if the specter of non-low-flow toilets now haunts us. Oh, and incandescent lightbulbs. THE HORROR!
When I woke up this morning, there were a few more hysterical people on TV and the internet than normal. The horror.
Perhaps when the government makes a profit, you can have your job back.
Someone please ask this guy if he can define what a profit is.
Perhaps when the government makes a profit, you can have your job back.
Someone please ask this guy if he can define what a profit is.
D.C. must look like it does in Fallout 3 by now.
I swear I just a Super Mutant Behemoth lumbering around on TV in the DC area.
Or it was Diane Feinstein. I don't even know anymore.
Today I went to 7-11 and the line was huge. Thanks Government Shutdown.
I couldn't sign up for health insurance because the government was shut down.
Oh, wait ...
His GS12 "civil servant" salary is 103,771.