A.M. Links: Government Shutdown Looming, Chris Christie Appealing Gay Marriage Ruling, Popes John Paul II, John XXIII to Be Sainted


  • st

    Lawmakers have until midnight tonight to avert a government shutdown. The House approved a continuing resolution over the weekend that would also delay Obamacare by one year.

  • Governor Chris Christie will reportedly appeal a judge's ruling requiring the state to allow same sex marriages.
  • Police in New York are blaming the suspension by a judge of stop and frisk for an uptick in shootings in the city.
  • Up to 50 students could be dead in Nigeria in a mass shooting by suspected Islamist militants.
  • At least 33 are dead in twin bombings that rocked Peshawar, Pakistan.
  • Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu doesn't want the U.S. or the rest of the world to trust the new Iranian president, warning that Iran will continue to seek nuclear weapons.
  • The Vatican will saint Popes John Paul II and John XXIII next year.

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NEXT: Popes John Paul II, John XXIII To Be Made Saints

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  1. We shall fight FoE on the beaches, we shall fight FoE on the landing grounds, we shall fight FoE in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight Foe in the hills; we shall never surrender.

    1. Listen, and understand. That FoE is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

  2. Lawmakers have until midnight tonight to avert a government shutdown. The House approved a continuing resolution over the weekend that would also delay Obamacare by one year.

    I heard if the Republicans shut the government down everyone’s dick will fall off. Pass it on.

    1. Sounds like there will be no government to enforce this law if I don’t pass it on.

    2. So feminists are supporting the Republicans?

  3. I heard if the Republicans shut the government down everyone will have to learn new zip codes. Pass it on.

    1. I still refuse to dial 10 digits to call people in my area code.

  4. Most Honest Cities In The World: The Lost Wallet Experiment

    Helsinki, Finland, is one of the most honest cities in the world, while Lisbon, Portugal, is the least so, according to a social experiment conducted by Reader’s Digest.

    Reader’s Digest wanted to know how honest world cities are, so it “lost” 192 wallets in 16 cities — that’s 12 wallets in each city — to see how many would be returned. Each wallet contained the $50 equivalent of the local currency, as well as a name, phone number, family photo, coupons and business cards.

    In Helsinki, 11 out of the 12 wallets dropped were returned. In Lisbon, only one was returned, and that was by out-of-town visitors.

    1. In Lisbon, only one was returned, and that was by out-of-town visitors.

      Visiting from Helsinki?

    2. 12 wallets per city is a pretty damn small sample size.

      And as my Finnish friends say, the equivalent of $50 won’t buy you anything in Finland, so why keep it?

    3. As someone who has both returned a wallet (with nearly 400 cash in it plus various foreign currency) and had one returned to me (8 dollars) I wonder what kind of person keeps a lost wallet? You would have to have zero empathy. It’s not like you can use the bank cards or the ids. Somebody else’s wallet has way less value to me than the minimal effort it takes to get it back to the owner and be proud that I’m not a piece of scum.

      1. effort

        And therein lies the problem.

      2. I’ve returned a wallet, and my husband has had his returned to him. It was minimal effort. I never even thought to keep it, until I’d already returned it. Typical old guy wallet, loaded with cards, big enough to use as a weapon.

      3. I returned a wallet once that I found on my campus. The girl who owned it accused me of taking the cash that was in it. There was none when I found it. I finally convinced her that I didn’t take her money, but the incident has made me wonder if I’d do it again. She could have called the cops and it would have been a mess for me.

    4. Obviously this is because Portugal has decriminalized drugs and the money in the lost wallets was used to get a fix. When will you libertards learn you must fight crime and never surrender to it.
      /socon reasoning

  5. IRS Documents Reveal Agency Flagged Groups for ‘Anti-Obama Rhetoric,’ Big Three Refuse to Report
    ABC, CBS and NBC have so far refused to report the latest bombshell in the IRS scandal – a newly released list from the agency that showed it flagged political groups for “anti-Obama rhetoric.” On September 18 USA Today, in a front page story, reported the following: “Newly uncovered IRS documents show the agency flagged political groups based on the content of their literature, raising concerns specifically about ‘anti-Obama rhetoric,’ inflammatory language and ’emotional’ statements made by non-profits seeking tax-exempt status.”

    Not only have ABC, CBS and NBC not reported this story they’ve flat out stopped covering the IRS scandal on their evening and morning shows. It’s been 85 days since ABC last touched the story on June 26. NBC hasn’t done a report for 84 days and CBS last mentioned the IRS scandal 56 days ago on July 24….

    1. The lamestream media just won’t report a fake scandal like they should.

      1. No kidding. Everybody knows Bush did WTC. Where the fuck was the media? Where, shreeeek?

        1. To its credit, the MSM ignored the silly “Bush and Cheney planned 9/11” CT.

          But it was all over the intertubes and then eventually on South Park.

          1. LOL They reported the hell out of it and Howard Dean got on national TV and said it was a legitimate viewpoint.

            When are you going to learn that the people on here are not as stupid as you are? You demented little ape.

          2. Um, South Park was specifically mocking people backing that theory.

      2. BUSHPIGS!!11!!!CHRISTFAGS!!11!!!!

  6. Sheriff who was gunned down in his cruiser as he ate lunch had RAPED his killer, say suspect’s family: Tiny West Virginia county accused of covering up crimes amid ‘rampant corruption’

    Eugene Crum, 59, was shot dead in his police cruiser as he sat eating lunch in April in Mingo County
    Family of suspect Tennis Maynard allege Crum raped him as teenager
    FBI investigating widespread corruption among the ‘courthouse gang’ in the county

    Will anything else happen?

    1. I hope they hold a parade for the guy who shot his rapist when the former victim realized no justice would be forthcoming and the rapist would continue to rape.

    2. I’m surprised we don’t see more of this with the shit that cops routinely get away with. I’d acquit this guy.

    3. They named their kid Tennis?

      1. It’s a “hard T”.

      2. Obviously the sheriff reputedly heard “Tennis, anyone?” in some old movie and reputedly took this as incitement to reputedly rape the aforementioned Tennis.

        Either that or it was Pong that made him do it.

  7. MSNBC’s Alex Wagner to marry Obama’s White House kitchen guy
    …Wagner, 35, is engaged to 33-year old former White House chef Sam Kass, even though we only read in the Washington Post in August that they were even dating!

    When not using his Andre Agassi brand head razors, Kass serves as executive director of the first lady’s Let’s Move! healthy eating campaign. Despite starting in the White House kitchen, Kass is now a senior White House policy advisor for nutrition policy….

    1. He needs to feed her some carbs. Alex is very attractive but Euro-model skinny.

      1. Oh, I just assumed Alex was a guy.

  8. I heard if the Republicans shut the government down fire hydrants will shoot flames out randomly in every direction. Pass it on.

    1. Oooo! I want to see that. Bring on the SHUTDOWN OF DOOM!

    2. Not to mention dogs and cats living together……

  9. US man, 28, and his 21-year-old stepdaughter face jail for incest despite them having NO biological relation after police discover affair

    Er, what?

    1. They’re suddenly touchy about that in West Virginny?

      1. Trying to clean up their image.

    2. Fuck you, that’s why?

      (Pun not intended.)

    3. So Woody Allen must be on their most wanted list.

    4. If you get the legal benefits of being father and daughter, you risk getting some of the legal limitations, too.

        1. There’s also this:

          “Nicholas is still married to Jarrett’s mother, Hopkins said.”

  10. Meanwhile in Florida:

    Florida Teacher to Student Who Wanted To Use Water Fountain: “Pour This Water Over My Body and You Can Lick It Off”

    To explain how X+Y intercept, Johnson allegedly asked, “How about I get naked?” and simulated a strip tease that ended with her slamming her shoe on the student’s desk.

    Johnson also allegedly made inappropriate comments when the student asked to be excused to use the water fountain.

    “She responded, ‘How about if I pour this water over my body and you can lick it off of me,’ and then proceeded to simulate a sex act with the water bottle,” the student’s lawyer told the station.

    1. I am skeptical.

      1. Me, too.

        Maybe if she had been explaining osculating curves, though.

      2. And in yet another twist, the boy also played on the JV basketball be team which was coached by Johnson’s uncle through marriage. The suit claims that the coach told the student that if he ever complained again he’d be cut from the team.

        Add me to your skeptical newsletter

      3. Yeah, that sounds like stuff a teenage boy would think a sexed up teacher would say, but nobody actually talks like that. I bet there’s a porno out there that has those exact situations.

    2. Everyone else always gets the good teachers!

  11. Univ. of Colorado asks, Is human extinction nigh?
    …In a sprawling “Climate-change summary” on his website, McPherson claims President Obama conceals his knowledge of impending extinction and that the Central Intelligence Agency “runs the United States and controls presidential power.”

    “The response of politicians, heads of non-governmental organizations, and corporate leaders remains the same. They’re mired in the dank Swamp of Nothingness,” he writes.

    Despite these claims, he says, “I’m not implying conspiracy.”…

    1. Seven billion of us across a huge variety of climates and continents, I’m going with “no” in the extinction bet.

      1. But the zombies…?….

        1. They totally exist, but aren’t virulent. Its a failed CIA powerplay in Haiti that is persistent, but low-grade threat.

          1. but aren’t virulent

            Yet. aren’t virulent yet.

          2. So, voodoo is real then?

      2. Pretty safe to say the danger of extinction has passed. The only time it was really in doubt was about 70,000 years ago where something terrible happened that reduced our species down to between 20,000-5,000 homo sapiens. Now I can’t think of anything that will be able to fully wipe the species off the planet.

        I’m sure environmentalists will be heart broken to learn that.

        1. I medium size rock from teh outerpace?

          There are a lot of rocks in space…

          1. I’m just spitballing here, but…nuclear weapons?

            1. I’m betting on antibiotic resistant gonorrhea.

        2. I’ve read it was a big flood.

    2. Yeah, the species that evolved in tropical Africa, yet has managed to survive in every part of the earth and through a major glaciation where it is even remotely possible to survive and through a major glaciation is going to go extinct because of some relatively minor changes in the climate.

      1. I hate it when I copy and paste instead of cut and paste.

    3. Oh no! The temperature is up 0.3 degrees in my lifetime! How will we survive? Says descendant of people who lived in equatorial jungles and frozen steppes.

  12. The Vatican will saint Popes John Paul II and John XXIII next year.

    Who’s going to pay for that?

    1. John XXIII’s canonization was delayed by decades of sequester.

    2. Johna and Paul, yes. George maybe. No on Ringo.

    3. The Vatican is going to “saint” the former popes? So when Kate n’ Bill’s royal rugrat grows up, is he going to say “king me”? Say kids, want an exciting job that don’t require you to speak no English? Work for Reason magazine!

  13. My life of hell in an Afghan harem

    Naive and in love, I married a man from Kabul ? only to discover the horrible life of a fundamentalist Muslim wife.

    Phyllis Chesler, 72, is a feminist scholar and a professor emerita of psychology and women’s studies at City University of New York. In her 14th book, “An American Bride in Kabul” (Palgrave Macmillan) out early next month, she shares for the first time the story of the five months she spent, as a young bride, held prisoner in a Afghan household.

    1. Two words; Rigoburta Menchu.

    2. Is it wrong for me to ask why a feminist would have been interested in marrying a fundamentalist Muslim?

      1. According to the article, she didn’t know he was a fundamentalist Muslim and it was her time in Afghanistan that made her a feminist.

      2. It was 1959. She was in naive and in love. Feminism wasn’t really a saturated concept then. Neither was fundamentalism.

    3. “I married a man from Kabul
      Who turned me into a fool
      I would have spent my life
      But his ten other wives
      All had prior claim to his tool.”

      1. Now there’s a limerick the way a limerick should be!

  14. Police in New York are blaming the suspension by a judge of stop and frisk on an uptick in shootings in the city.

    That Bill of Rights is responsible for untold deaths.

    1. NOT A SUICIDE PACT!!1111!!!111

  15. So I finally figured out that the plan all along was to delay the employer mandate but not the individual mandate. Forces people into the “free market” (chortle), and allows Obama to say “Look! The system works! Look how many people signed up!”

    I’m kind of slow, aren’t I?

    1. I saw Steve Case (AOL fame) on CNBC talking about how the health insurance market had needed market-driven exchanges like Obamacare for decades as a reform tool.

      Joe Kernan (the conservative lackey on the show) kept trying to talk over him with some fearmongering. The producers who book the guests obviously don’t consult Kernan in advance.

      1. Joe Kernan (the conservative lackey on the show)


        You’re an idiot.

        1. Squawk Box can be really funny. They bring on some uber-capitalist like Buffett or Larry Fink who talk about their support for Obama and Joe starts twitching and convulsing.

          (btw, Fink manages more money than Buffett)

          1. They bring on some uber-capitalist like Buffett or Larry Fink..

            Damn, you ARE funny. Also, ignorant.

            1. You keep saying that like you know what you are talking about yet offer no proof.

              Are you a Joe Kernan fan? A GOP lackey?

              Are you a female imposter?

              1. Why would I offer you proof of anything? Your style of interaction is to throw a bunch of worthless and ignorant b.s. up against a wall and assume others won’t figure it out.

                You don’t debate in good faith or even good humor. You’re full of shit. Go away.

            2. IOW. this is the part where the wingnut proclaims “Warren Buffett is a socialist!”.

              1. No, he’s a crony-capitalist, idiot.

                1. You have to understand, it lives in it’s mother’s basement and thinks becasue it reads fancy finance blogs it know whereof it speaks. The bright light leaves it unable to distinguish Capitalist from RentSeeker.

                  1. Because only a conservative can be a capitalist.

                    I’ve heard that lie from wingnuts too many times before.

                    Soros? Socialist! (although he fights socialism with billions in donations).

                    Bill Gates? Socialist! Steve Jobs? Socialist. The Google guys? Both socialists. Or Rent Seekers – all of them.

                    A capitalist must vote GOP!

                    1. This is utter gibberish.

                    2. How about this Buttplug: If you are in favour of government intervention and manipulation into the free market, you are not a “capitalist”. You are at best a crony, however, people who are in favour of government meddling in the free market usually are either full on socialist or socialist lights. Either way, it doesn’t matter if they are democrat or GOP, if they are not for real free markets, they are not a capitalist.

                  2. Your just jealous of how highly Buttplug score on the libertarian test.

                    We all stand in awe of you Buttplug. Please keep informing us of how awful Bush was like we are all Bush cheer leaders.

              2. False dichotomy.

                Warren Buffet is indeed a capitalist. However not all capitalists are alike and in general when people around these parts speak of capitalism they are referring to that of the Free Market variety, something Mr Buffet finds abhorrent.

                No Warren is a good ole fashioned crony capitalist, sort of the bastard offspring of Mercantilism and Democratic Socialism and as such he is all in favor of any plan which puts more power into the hands of central regulators that he can manipulate and control to increase his wealth

          2. They bring on some uber-capitalist corrupt crony like Buffett or Larry Fink who talk about their support for Obama


      2. BUSHPIGS!!11!!!!!CHRISTFAGS!!1!!!

      3. I saw Steve Case (AOL fame) on CNBC talking about how the health insurance market had needed market-driven exchanges like Obamacare for decades as a reform tool.

        Like financial markets needed market-driven reform like Dodd-Frank and like the oil industry needs market-driven reforms like cap and trade.

        I know it’s just paying you off to bother replying, but goddamn, you’re such a penis.

      4. Please PB, explain to me how these highly regulated subsidy hand out machines are more of a “market reform” than the already exising ehealthinsurance.com and other online aggregator “exchanges” that exist?

      5. Joe Kernan (the conservative lackey on the show)

        Is this the same Joe Kernan that ran Indiana after O’Bannon kicked the bucket? The same Kernan with a big fat honkin’ “D” behind his name?

        Conservative lackey? I remember him being a bought and paid for Hoffa-ite.

  16. Noonoooooo!!!111eleven!!!

    Impact of a government shutdown

    A government shutdown next week would interrupt some services and potentially jeopardize the paychecks of more than 800,000 federal workers. The Office of Management and Budget has asked agencies to begin making contingency plans. Their first stop will be their plans from 2011. The federal government does not stop functioning completely, and by law, certain agencies must operate with unsalaried employees. They include those that deal with national security and the safety of people and property, as well as those that manage benefits such as Social Security payments. The U.S. Postal Service will also be unaffected by a shutdown. Here’s what some agencies have said about their plans this time around.

    1. The U.S. Postal Service will also be unaffected by a shutdown.

      Thank God I will still receive junk mail.

    2. 800,000 federal workers

      If that isn’t reason enough to pare down the government with prejudice, there isn’t one. Add to this number the fact that IT ISN’T EVEN HALF OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT and you have reason number one why we are fucked.

      The government is a goddamn jobs programs.

      Fire the majority of them and tell them to a get a real job that adds value to the economy. If they can’t, fuck ’em.

  17. Governor Chris Christie will reportedly appeal a judge’s ruling requiring the state to allow same sex marriages.

    I guess he’ll be running for President as a Republican.

    1. He’s cruising to re-election by something like 30 points and is even projected to pull in 1/3 of the black vote. He’ll be spending the next 3 years throwing bones to the base, appropriating Romney’s machine, and setting himself up as THE ONLY ELECTABLE CHOICE in 2016, ensuring that the Republicans snatch defeat from the jaws of victory for the second consecutive election.

      1. But state Governors are the most electable candidates!

  18. Governor Chris Christie will reportedly appeal a judge’s ruling requiring the state to allow same sex marriages.

    This isn’t going to go over well with Democrat primary voters when he runs for their nomination for president.

  19. Sweden’s ‘biggest sex party’ sparks local fury

    News that the largest swingers party in Swedish history will be held next month in a town in eastern Sweden has some residents hopping mad about the impact that the “orgy of sex, erotica, and lust” will have on their neighbourhood.


    In March of this year, the club, which claims to have 2,500 members, was forced to abandon its attempt to set a new Swedish record for “group sex” after a fire destroyed the building that housed the “erotic oasis”.

    1. News that the largest swingers party in Swedish history will be held next month in a town in eastern Sweden has some residents hopping mad about the impact that the “orgy of sex, erotica, and lust” will have on their neighbourhood.

      Radio Sweden mentioned this last week or the week before in their news, on the same day they had an interview on how to combat bullying.

      The irony, of course, was lost on them.

      1. I have read about this story before. This happens every year. Basically the swingers take over the town and the locals can’t so much as walk out their doors without having some creepy old couple proposition them.

        I kind of sympathize with the locals.

        1. With that many people having it in a small town seems like a bad idea. Why don’t they buy out a big hotel in a city or something?

          1. Sounds like Vegas.

  20. What do we want?


    When do we want it?


  21. Middle school sorry for showing video of celebs professing slavish Obama devotion
    School district officials in Hudson, Wis. have apologized for using a bizarre 2009 “I Pledge” video for a local middle school’s Peace One Day event last week, reports nearby Fox affiliate KMSP.

    The 2009 video, produced by Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Productions, features Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and several C- and D-list celebs fawning over and promising to serve President Barack Obama….

    1. So, on Peace One Day they pledge allegiance to a warmonger?

      Makes perfect sense.

    1. We scoff now but in the future we’ll be told expectant mothers will have a right to late term chauffeur services.

  22. Police in New York are blaming the suspension by a judge of stop and frisk on an uptick in shootings in the city.


  23. Is Libertarianism the Velvet Glove Over the Iron Fist of Racism?

    Derpgressive Thom Hartmann has the shocking answer:


    1. I don’t care what they’re saying about us as long as they’re talking about us.

      1. Oh don’t be so sure- You see, libertarians and conservatives just don’t understand economics:


        1. They’d only be talking about us if they thought we were a threat.

          1. How’s that quote go?

            First they ignore at you.
            Then they laugh at you.
            Then they fight you.
            Then you win.

            1. Now you’ve got it!

    2. Hartmann’s wik is hilarious–it’s like his entire life has been one big “FUCK YOU, DAD!”

      His “hunter vs. farmer” theory is the epitome of nerd wish projection, by imagining that if he was gamboling with Mary Stack, he’d be a powerful hunter instead of a skinny, pathetic dork who’s still resentful about getting shoved in lockers.

      1. I read one of his books (Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight) and he did in fact talk about getting beaten up by a bully.

        He used it as an analogy about how peaceful hunter-gatherers are at the mercy of warlike city-statists.

  24. Nevada County Deputies Ditch Shredded Marijuana Along Hiking Trails

    They were walking along the Harmony Trail north of Nevada City when they smelled something that wasn’t just the pine trees.

    Bending down, they saw marijuana plants. Those buds didn’t come from a grower; they came from the Nevada County Sheriff’s Department.

    “What they did is go up to where the forest service told them they could dispose of it, and put it on the ground thinking that it should be useless,” said Sheriff Keith Royal.

  25. It takes seven years to catch embezzling school accountant with green lumpy breasts.

    1. I thought this was going to be another Miami DIY plastic surgery story. I am disappoint.

    2. They have embezzling schools? 😉

    3. It takes seven years to catch embezzling school accountant with green lumpy breasts.

      If authorities had used the NSA database instead of green lumpy breasts they could have caught her in *five* years.

      1. Well if we need Federal Bra Inspectors, I will be proud to serve my country.

        1. Not me. After spending some time in airports recently the only way I’d volunteer for that job is if I could only do so at KU, or some other such institution.

  26. How the Obamacare fight could create new health disparities

    President Obama has similar ambitions for the Affordable Care Act, which launches this coming week with “marketplaces” that will allow Americans to choose among competing insurance plans. Obamacare certainly will increase access to health care across racial and class lines. Yet the program’s success relies on the cooperation of two dozen conservative-leaning states that are home to half of the nation’s 50 million uninsured. In many of these states, the public tends to oppose the law, and politicians are doing all they can to undermine it. If they succeed, the dawn of the Affordable Care Act may create new disparities in health coverage between the states that embrace Obamacare and those that resist it.


    1. This is the great fear of the GOP.

      The poor will gain access to a health insurance marketplace and like it. The Red State poor in places like Kentucky who traditionally vote against their own interests will then abandon the GOP.

      1. The poor will gain access to a health insurance marketplace and like it

        That’s what’s known as Medicaid, you moron.

    2. A half-century ago, the creation of Medicare and Medicaid was a triumph of American egalitarianism.

      Stop right there.

  27. As Obamacare exchanges open, Hollywood campaigns to enroll younger people with “Ouch, My Balls!” show
    The Hollywood humor site “Funny or Die” is rolling out an extended campaign to encourage young people to enroll in Obamacare exchanges beginning on Monday, joining a slew of celebrities doing their best to convince the demographic upon which the program depends to ignore their economic interests and shoulder the cost of older Americans’ health care.

    The studio’s first video, seemingly meant to remind the “young invincible” demographic of 18 to 35-year olds that freak accidents and grave injuries can befall them at anytime, depicts “a little girl tumbling head-first off her rocking horse, a skateboarder’s ill-fated trick, a boy attempting a jump on his bike and ending up limp on the asphalt,” according to The Chicago Tribune, which viewed a secret preview of the propaganda campaign on Sept. 20.

    “Valerie Jarrett loved this video,” said “Funny or Die” production president Mike Farah, speaking of the the Secret Service protectee who is President Barack Obama’s closest senior adviser….

    1. “Valerie Jarrett loved this video,”

      Well I’m sold on it, then.

      1. It depends on what the meaning of “loved” is.

        1. I’m sure she used a condom.

      2. And it’s a good thing too. The producers of the 3 videos that she found wanting were blinded by a flick of her pointed tongue.

    2. The studio’s first video, seemingly meant to remind the “young invincible” demographic of 18 to 35-year olds that freak accidents and grave injuries can befall them at anytime,

      This is what catastrophic insurance is perfect for. If Obamacare weren’t trying to make it impossible to get.

      1. It doesn’t try, it succeeds.

      2. This is what catastrophic insurance is perfect for. If Obamacare weren’t trying to make it impossible to get.

        You’re obviously a racist TeathugliKKKan. It’s the only reason why someone might oppose Obamacare.

  28. Heartwarming video of bunny release goes horribly wrong [VIDEO]
    …Unfortunately for little Kermit, mother nature is far more cruel than the matriarch of the house he was staying in. At least the little girl in the video got a crash course on the circle of life, and the inevitability of death….

    1. What kind of dumbshit releases a tame rabbit into the wild expecting it not to get eaten? Rabbits are really, really stupid.

    2. The moronic, shifting accents in this video is the strongest proof yet for the claim that Southern accents are the closest to 18th century British accents.

  29. Thom Hartmann explains what Libertarians *really* believe:


    1. Wow that guy sounded like a real tard.

    2. Who’s that dumbshit?

    1. Pretty awesome. Except now Jedi cosplayers need to be more careful with their toys.

    2. It’s still no match for a good blaster by your side.

      1. Until someone demonstrates the ability to deflect bullets with a “light saber,” I’ll stick with my carry pistol, thanks. Although for CQB, blades are truly fearsome.

      2. Good against remotes…good against the living…?

    3. But does a light-molocule cut?

    4. They said their discovery *might* be used to make lightsabers.

    5. They should have included this in the “Funny or Die” video Longtorso introduced above thread. Footage of some geeky kids slashing around with lightsabers then you see a lightsaber spinning off into the air with a hand still attached. That would be awesome. Although O’Care would still suck.

  30. Miss World 2013, the Filipino geek:

    It was really “Pok?mon.” I didn’t do “Magic” (The Gathering). That’s not my type. I’m not the L.O.L., “League of Legends” type; that’s not my thing, although I did play “Ragnarok” in high school. I was very addicted to that.

    It came to the point that my Mom got so mad because I wasn’t studying and was just playing my online game. I had to stop my gaming for a while because of school.

  31. Police in New York are blaming the suspension by a judge of stop and frisk on an uptick in shootings in the city.

    Somebody has this really backward.

    1. An uptick in shootings stopped the “stop and frisk” program?

      1. That would be counter to all impulses of advocates for state intervention, which sum to: “MOAR SAME! STATE SMASH EVERYTHING!”

  32. Apple Overtakes Coca-Cola as World’s Most Valuable Brand

    Apple (AAPL) has unseated Coca-Cola as the world’s No. 1 brand, as the company founded by Steve Jobs is a leader in design and performance, according to a study of the Top 100 brands by Interbrand Corp.

    Apple Inc.’s brand value jumped 28 percent to $98.3 billion and Google Inc. (GOOG)’s rose in second place at $93.3 billion. The Coca-Cola Co. name slipped from the top spot after 13 years to third place at $79.2 billion.

    and I remember the days when I used to call Apple the VW of computers – made for and used by hipsters.

    1. What’s worth noting is that spots 1 and 2 are held by companies that didn’t or barely existed 20 years ago. Which is why people like Obama are stupid as shit. Americans can create billions in wealth with just a few ideas, which is a better way to better all Americans than is the redistribution of wealth.

  33. Sonofabitch. Looks like my agency has multiyear funding or some shit, which means no shutdown for me. At least my commute will be nice if most of the rest of the gubmint has to stay home.

    1. I am laughing my ass off over the whining over this. These people have had guaranteed jobs that often paid well above their private sector equivalents. But apparently missing even one paycheck is going to be catastrophe. Maybe saving some money rather than buying a McMansion on a jumbo mortgage that you could barely afford might have been a more prudent option.

      I figure I have six months before it really starts to hurt. Bring it on.

      1. And they’re not even going to miss a paycheck, more than likely. I mean, they’ll miss them immediately, but like in the past, it’s almost assured that when the government does come back, they’ll get back pay. They’re more or less getting a free paid vacation.

        1. More or less. And they shouldn’t get that. Welcome to the real world assholes. Sometimes your employer has to shut down for a bit and you don’t always get a steady paycheck. It would be such a great lesson for these assholes. But sadly, it is very unlikely to be given.

          1. ~4 years ago we had a week shut-down with no pay. I didn’t even take the unemployment check.

      2. It’s nice to have some skills other than “policy advisor” if the shutdown thing goes on a long time, ya know? I have never worried about my employment prospects in the event of a furlough, because the fact is, in my 20 years in the work force in DC, I have only had two government-related jobs (out of a total of about 8)

        But I sure would like some time off, paid or not. I haz a sad that we haz funding.

        1. Yeah. Worst case I could always go down toe DC Superior and start whoring myself out as a public defender or start doing contract legal research for a few of the solo practitioners I know. I wouldn’t be a great living. But I wouldn’t starve either.

          1. Spending a few months with drastically lower income can be a great way to excise wasteful spending. Then when you return to your normal income you’ve given yourself a huge raise.

            1. Very true. When you are making good money for a bit, you very easily start to piss large amounts of it away.

          2. I wouldn’t be a great living.

            It might be higher with a spell check.


            I’d like to see the government shutdown just so John gets the opportunity to tear up a couple of prosecutions. If his courtroom style is anything like his commenting, they’ll need a few more court reporters for starters.

      3. It’s unbelievable John. In all seriousness, as a CPA in the MD area we do get a lot of clients that are Federal employees. I can’t tell you how many are overextended and living paycheck to paycheck, even with a 100k salary.

        1. I have always suspected that. I know there is a tremendous amount of stealing going on. But the housing bubble here is so large even theft of the scale going on here can’t account for it. You can only make 150K max as a GS employee. And sure there are contractors and lobbyists who make much more than that, but not that many of them. At one point last year I counted over 300 homes on redfin in the DC area that were priced over a million dollars. If the government actually ever cut spending this place is going to implode very quickly.

          1. I was watching a “man on the street” interview the last tim e a shutdown was looming, and some guy, identified as a “government IT manager” said he was living paycheck-to-paycheck and couldn’t afford a shutdown.

            An IT manager living paycheck-to-paycheck? Someone needs to take a long hard look at his spending habits.

          2. If the government actually ever cut spending this place is going to implode very quickly.

            Reason #1 why the government will never cut spending.

        2. Um, given the cost of living there, $100k isn’t all that much if you have multiple kids. Certainly not enough to consider private schools or family vacations and just barely enough to afford a stay at home spouse.

          1. Most families have two incomes.

          2. I still call BS. I lived near the Pentagon in a very nice apartment complex. I never made more than $65k while I lived in the DC area and I was more than able to keep some money in savings.

            $100k may not go as far as it would in flyover country, but if you are making 6 figures and still living paycheck to paycheck, you fail at finances.

            1. But I DESERVE my 3 nights a week at a steakhouse, lake house, 3 trips to Aspen a year, and Maserati. I work so HARD!

            2. Did you have say a wife and 3 kids?

              I did stipulate that caveat

              1. I had a wife that I was supporting, but no kids. Even so, I was able to pay off a significant amount of debt while I was there in addition to putting money in savings. Also, I lived in a fairly expensive neighborhood. If I had greater financial burdens (kids), there were several neighborhoods to choose from that were cheaper, but less convenient.

                I did have a few friends with a full family. Most of them made about what I did or less. They got along just fine. Hell, I knew a single mom (2 kids) that was making about $35k and they weren’t living paycheck to paycheck.

                It’s all about choices. Those that I saw complaining about money were always going out to eat, always had the newest fashions, etc.

            3. Not necessarily.


  34. This is over a year old, but I remember we had a lot of fun with it when it was first printed. And appropriate for today.

    I work for Uncle Sam and I am proud of it

  35. http://dailycaller.com/2013/09…..ly-flawed/

    MIT climate scientist calls UN climate report hilariously flawed.

    1. I like how they juxtapose MIT guy with John F’n Kerry when quoting both sides. I know its totally manipulative, but it made me chuckle.

    2. Why does he want poor people to drown?

      1. Brining reduces the gamy flavor.

      2. So he can buy their beachfront properties cheap.

    3. Listening to the radio last week there was this guy on NPR who was saying denialism is a mental disorder. He then went on to blame Assad’s gassing his people on Big Coal. That’s right. Global warming caused droughts in Syria which drove unemployed farmers to the cities which caused the civil unrest which cause the revolt that led to Assad using chemical weapons. Who’s the one with the mental disorder?

      1. Part of being nuts is thinking it is everyone else who is nuts. And of course, Bernarke printing money and the US demanding that its corn be used for ethanol had nothing to do with world commodity prices going through the roof. No. It was all a drought in Syria.

        1. A drought in the fucking desert? No!

  36. 3D printers in space!

    No more of that cobbling together a home-made carbon dioxide filter using a plastic bag, a manual cover, and gaffer tape bullshit.

  37. Thom Hartmann describes Libertarians:


    Give me a hand, folks! He’ll be on the air all week.

    1. How many times are you going to post this?

        1. The first rule of Incoherent Club is


      1. The URLs all appear to be different.

        (I didn’t actually click on any of them.)

  38. So, we were informed that we would be working during the shutdown in my office. Good and bad, I suppose. Good that at least I am guaranteed to get paid despite a shutdown. Bad that I’m supposed to be on leave most of next week to attend a wedding for a friend out of state. But, AFAIK, I can’t take PTO during a shutdown.

  39. These people have had guaranteed jobs that often paid well above their private sector equivalents. But apparently missing even one paycheck is going to be catastrophe.

    What are they worried about? I’m sure they have plenty of checks.

  40. I think the shut down is going to go on for a bit. The Republicans have no choice. If they vote to continue Obamacare and have nothing to show for it their own party will split. This is a question of survival for them. The Dems are so fanatical and stupid they don’t understand that. In a properly functioning Republic, the Dems would have offered the Republicans a big compromise on another issue in return for Obamacare. That way every gets something of what they want and both sides can go back and tell their supporters they got something. But we don’t have that. We have a Republic where the President tells 48% of the country to go fuck themselves and where a large number Democratic supporters consider not declaring Obama the God Emperor of the People’s paradise and taking everything from the other side a “moderate compromise”.

    1. Obama wanted to delay many key provisions of Obamacare, but without Congressional approval. Now that the Republicans have given a bill to delay it for 1 year, his party is going apeshit.

      Seriously, has everyone forgotten that Obama WANTED to delay many key components of this abomination? Why hasn’t the news picked up on this?

      1. There is that. And if it is that important, then offer to allow the Keystone pipeline and take away the EPA’s power to regulate CO2 in return for a CR and Obamacare. I bet the Republicans would agree to that. If they wouldn’t they would be stupid.

    2. It’s amazing that Democrats don’t realize that the last time we had an opposition party that didn’t oppose the President’s signature issue of the moment, we got the Iraq war.

    3. What are you talking about? Dems offering a compromise? Since when did compromise mean the Dems offering anything? Compromise means the Dems get everything they want. You should know that.

      1. That’s right. The Dems are the Wife and Repubs are the Husband.

    4. I think the shut down is going to go on for a bit.

      Long enough for people to volunteer to be White House tour guides and park rangers?

  41. I keep seeing “non-essential employees” in reference to the gov’t shutdown. If they’re “non-essential” why do we need them ever?

    1. Because they’re “nice to have”, Slammer.

      They “add spice to life”.

    2. It’s the same logic that says I’m non-essential for furloughs, but essential in an agency shutdown situation.

    3. I keep seeing “non-essential employees” in reference to the gov’t shutdown. If they’re “non-essential” why do we need them ever?

      Because virtually all of government is a jobs program.

  42. Here Comes the Spoils Society

    There are two ways to become richer. One is to provide more goods and services; that’s economic growth. The other is to snatch someone else’s wealth or income; that’s the spoils society. In a spoils society, economic success increasingly depends on who wins countless distributional contests: not who creates wealth but who controls it. But this can be contentious. Winners celebrate; losers fume.

    Of course, the two systems have long coexisted — and always will. All modern societies chase growth; all redistribute income and wealth. Some shuffling is visible and popular. Until now, that’s been the case with America’s largest transfer, which is from workers to retirees through Social Security and Medicare. In 2012, this exceeded $1 trillion. Still, for the nation, the relevant question is whether productive behavior (generating economic growth) is losing ground to predatory behavior (grabbing existing wealth and income). There are good reasons to think it is.

    1. We need to stop cherry coating this. “spoils society”, “redistribution”, and “social programs” are just soft euphemisms for “coercive theft”.

  43. Stop the presses! Even arch-derpgressive Sam Seder thinks Matty Yglesias is a twit:


    1. Politics aside, I can’t imagine anyone being able to stand him. Yglesias is just a deeply strange and unpleasant person. If he wasn’t so awful, you would feel a little sorry for him.

      1. I’m pretty sure he has low-T.

        1. Low-[hanging] T[esticles]? Because that doesn’t sound right.

          1. Low testosterone- or maybe it’s ED (erectile dysfunction). NTTAWWT.

      2. Game show pitch:

        How long can you stand to listen to Matt Yglesias talk?


        1. No takers, I guess.

          That screen shot is too much for me. Count me out.

        2. So when the NAZDAQ shut down for an afternoon, Yglesias had an article saying, “look the stock market isn’t all that important. It shut down and the eocnomy still powered on”

          How much you want to bet he won’t be saying the same thing about the necessity of the government if it shuts down for a few days?

        3. I have a great idea for a game show called “Common Denominator”. It would be kind of like Family Feud, except the questions would all be ones that have specifically correct answers (e.g. Name the country we fought in the Revolutionary War) and to win you’d have to guess the most commonly given wrong answers based on polling of the general public.

  44. Sorry for going off-topic, and for chewing and screwing (big meeting this morning)but:

    How about No. 18? The best 4 game stretch for a quarterback I have ever seen.

    1. No one in the history of football runs up the score on bad teams like Payton Manning. He is exactly what we thought he was. The greatest regular season quarterback in history.

      1. I am still in awe at how open his receivers have been all season (with the exception of the screens where they just make everyone miss anyway). Where the hell are the defenders?

    2. Their schedule seems pretty soft this year (other than KC and the Pats). But I do kind of like Peyton. Yeah. Go ahead and call me the world’s greatest monster.

      1. That would be liking Ben Roethlisberger.

      2. “You, madame, are the world’s greatest monster.”

        You are welcome.

    3. He’s going to shit the bed in the playoffs, and his legion of apologists are still going to blame everybody but him.

      1. He has taken 9 12+ win teams into the playoffs and has one Super Bowl win to show for it. I can’t think of another quarterback who can say that. It is very odd. He seems to thrive on destroying bad and average defenses but then falls apart when playing a good defense when it matters.

        1. Its all about the pass rush. Even if Peyton is reading right 99% of the time and calling the right plays, a 4 man rush that is containing the run and only giving him 3-4 seconds results in 3rd and long enough to get him off the field. Even if he’s perfect, coverage sacks and incompletions foul up drives. I would say its the downside of the QB seeing the line of scrimmage and calling the plays. He doesn’t necessarily have enough strategic vision to gamble on a 12-15 yard pattern on 2nd down when there’s a 3 yard checkdown that is guaranteed open.

          1. That is an interesting point. He also thrives on being in rhythm. If you look at the teams that have beaten him, they dominated time of possession and kept him off the field. If he can’t get on the field, he doesn’t play as well once he does. The only time he ever really tore up a good defense in the playoffs was in the 06 AFC title game second half. But NE couldn’t buy a first down or put together a drive to make him sit down for a while.

          2. What’s really going to kill Peyton in the playoffs this year, if it happens, is his recieving corps dropping his passes. Decker is good for probably 2-3 drive-killing drops a game, and we all know Welker’s tendency to get stone hands at inopportune times.

            The one year Peyton won a Super Bowl, he was lucky enough to have Bob Sanders healthy for the whole playoff stretch to make a difference on D, and then played a Chicago team in the Super Bowl that had Sexy Rexy running the show at QB.

            Yeah, he’s the greatest regular season QB ever, but he’ll make the Hall of Fame because Dan Marino and Dan Fouts carried that title before Peyton came along.

      2. No, he has to win another Superbowl to keep up with his little brother. If he doesn’t Archie won’t have him over for Thanksgiving Dinner for the shame of it all.

    4. Are you the guy who thinks Tom Brady is overrated?

    5. Flacco just had a 4 game stretch that was better.

      However, it is the best 4 game stretch to start a season.

  45. Anyone else watch Breaking Bad?

    1. I’m still on Season 1 so NO FUCKING SPOILERS, you guys!

    2. I thought the end was cool when Hal wakes up in bed with Lois telling her about the weird dream he had about being a meth cook.

      1. +1 new heart

      2. And how, as a public school teacher, he was so happy he had gold-plated health insurance to handle his lung cancer treatments.

    3. I’m watching it tonight.

    4. What is a Breaking Bad?

      1. The sequel to Malcolm in the Middle.

        1. I thought ABC already took off the first two words in that title and recast it.

  46. “Chis Christie Appealing Gay Marriage”

    –nope. Not appealing. Maybe we could get a call from one of our gay friends, but I’m guessing no.

    1. Guys into bears might like him.

  47. how’bout those Lions? Huh? Huh?

    1. This almost makes me want to watch the next game, where they will lose (most likely).

    2. Looking forward to the Packers thumping them again. Twice.

  48. In spite of all the exciting issues of the moment I thought I would toss this in. It has been simmering in my brain for a couple of days.

    I have noticed a number of times people here invoking the NAP as if it is the founding principle of Libertarianism and applying it as a litmus test of Libertarianism. I have also heard people here claim that the NAP is arbitrary or based on thin air.

    None of that is true. The founding principle of Libertarianism is self-ownership. I also posit that it is the only civilized philosophy because the only alternative is others owning us, or us them. When you have competing claims of ownership, as you are bound to have under a system like that, it will be worked out with force. Might makes right. That is not civilized.

    If you believe in self ownership for yourself, you believe in it for others. If other people own themselves then I have no right to put my hands on their persons or property. I have no right to impose my decisions on them. The NAP is as simple as that and firmly grounded in self-ownership. The NAP is the respect you give others who own themselves.

    I bring this up because of a discussion I had with a left leaning acquaintance last week. She claimed to believe in self-ownership, yet when I pointed out how egregiously lefty positions violate that principle, she had a melt-down. I don’t mean an angry, screaming one, but the kind you have when you come face to face with your own cognitive dissonance and cannot ignore it.

    1. Is she now a card-carrying libertarian?!?!?! Don’t leave us hangin’!

      1. We will see. She will show up for margarita night again tomorrow evening.

        Her support for Obama has been very tepid lately. It is sinking in what a shit he is and I may have hit her at just the right time. When she started the ‘it is all Bush and the repubs fault’ crap I agreed with her that Bush was awful. She didnt know how to respond because apparently she has never discussed with anyone who is not a team player.

        1. Your effort to tamp down any glimmer of hope in her is the right way to lead her to the LP.

          Because both teams do indeed suck.

          1. Your effort to tamp down any glimmer of hope in her is the right way to lead her to the LP.

            Why would anyone lead anyone to the LP. It’s a mostly useless piece of shit party that couldn’t tell its ass from a hole in the ground, and is infamous for running anti-liberty fucks.

            Gary Johnson is about the only exception I can think of for a major election. But voting for GayJay was about voting for GayJay, not the LP.

            1. ^This

              The LP isn’t what its name implies. But because it has no identity outside of a political party, it’s probably conflating the word “libertarian” with the LP.

            2. Why would anyone lead anyone to the LP…

              You really shouldn’t bother. PB is utterly incapable of comprehending life outside of party membership. If you were to speak the words “self-ownership” to it aloud, they would probably transcode to something like the crackling sound of shorted electrical wires by the time they reached its brain.

        2. Margarita night is definitely the time to have these conversations.

    2. I think of the NAP as saying force is only justified in reaction to force. As in force used against your person or your property. So yea, I’d agree that the NAP is derived from self ownership.

      1. Case in point:

        It is an egregious violation of the NAP to beat the shit out of someone for saying something mean about you.

        But it’s perfectly acceptable to beat the shit out of someone who refuses to stop playing the Eagles as they have clearly initiated violence.

        1. Well, its perfectly acceptable if that’s my house and I have a reasonable expectation of privacy. You can’t go assaulting bar patrons for playing the whole catalog on a juke box.

        2. +1 Hotel California

      2. the NAP is derived from self ownership.

        Derived from? I don’t know. I’d say they’re the same exact thing worded differently.

        It’s like the debate between “democracy” and “republic”. It’s a largely meaningless distinction.

        1. The distinction between democracy and republic is hardly meaningless. Back when the constitution was written to create a representative republic, democracy was a pejorative. Democracy is little more than mob rule.

          1. If you look at pretty much every so-called democracy in history, many things were not up for a vote, so they weren’t just mob rule. People usually don’t mean “mob rule, everything goes” when they say democracy. They would even argue that tyranny of the majority is anti-democractic. Democracy doesn’t mean majority rules, it means “rule of the people.” Guess what republic means.

        2. What sarcasmic said. Really dumb statement, Juice.

          1. You wanna hear a dumb statement? “Democracy is nothing but mob rule.” There’s one.

  49. Test your geography knowledge:



    I got 100% on Europe, but on Africa I mixed up Mauritius and the Seychelles, and couldn’t find Equatorials Guinea’s offshore island.

    1. All those Balkan states – I have no idea which is which. Bring back Tito!!

    2. Damn Baltics, can never remember which is which (though oddly I remember the Balkans OK). And I didn’t know the weird acronym was Macedonia. Did the Greeks make them use that?

      1. And I suck at Africa. I’ve always had a hard time with Africa. I can pretty much do the rest of the world’s countries, US states, Canadian Provinces, but Africa just has too many countries that I know very little about.

      2. Yes, the Greeks insist they have the “real” Macedonia.

    3. I find that with a little practice, Africa is a cakewalk.

      It’s fucking Micronesia that you’ll never, ever learn.

      1. All those weird little west coast countries get me.

  50. My Alma Mater finally fired Lane Kiffin. Like Obama, he’s a guy who had an incredible ability to fail upwards.

    1. I hear Tampa Bay is looking for someone.

    2. Didn’t know you went to SC. I’m a current student. So glad Haden finally sacked up.

      Fight On!

  51. I ruined my engagement with Facebook, and apparently I’m not alone


    Maybe this has happened to you: You’re uploading photos to Facebook and somehow trip across an old album. You click through mindlessly, until you land on a picture of your ex. And suddenly, you’re thrown back months, years even, and all you want to do is message them, add them as a friend, look through their photos. Which is fine ? unless you’re engaged? like I was.

    I’m a Facebook cheater, one of the many. The temptations of social networking lured me in, and what started as the very familiar Facebook catch-up turned into an E-motional affair that ended my engagement.

    1. Why were you engaged to Facebook?

    2. Without reading the article is this implying that friending an ex is cheating? That’s stupid.

    3. Where the hell did this “emotional affair” term come from? Did you bang one of your exs? If yes, you had an affair. If not, you didn’t have an affair. You just decided that you didn’t want to marry your fiance.

      1. This may come as a surprise and a disappointment to you, but fucking is not the defining feature of a romantic relationship, and intimacy is not just physical intimacy, nor even necessarily physical intimacy.

        1. what a load of horseshit. If you are that emotionally attached to someone, you will be banging them. If you are not banging them, you are not that emotionally attached to them or they are not to you as you think they are.

          All this is is loser guys reliving their single days of letting women manipulate them without putting out. Maybe that is a reason to end a marriage. But whatever it is, it is not an “affair”. To call it that cheapens the term.

      2. Go have cybersex with someone else and let your wife find the chat log.

        You’ll find out that women have a VERY different view about what constitutes an “affair” than just sex.

        1. So everything that someone objects to is now an “affair”? Bullshit. It is not an affair.

          1. Lol I’m sure your divorce attorney will agree with you

    4. This is why the squeeze and I are not connected on Facebook and never will be.

      1. That is actually a good idea. I think there is a place for privacy even in the most intimate of relationships. I know couples who do things like read each other’s emails and such. That would drive me nuts. Not so much because I have anything embarrassing on my emails. I would drive me nuts to always think my wife was looking over my shoulder and anything I thought or said would get back to her. That is not a healthy way to live.

        1. I am going through a divorce right now and this is one of the reason’s I don’t miss my ex. She is a horrible control freak (it stems from a high degree of insecurity) and was constantly challenging me on even the most innocuous FB posts.

          She used to go through my briefcase, my books, never missed a chance to pick up my phone. It was awful.

          1. That is very unhealthy. And people always chalk that up to lack of trust. And yes that can be some of it. But really it is about control. Every person has to have some things and some places that are theirs and out of their partner’s influence.

          2. Congrats!

            Seriously… it’s amazing how sweeter life is when you aren’t constantly being scrutinized. It’s like the difference between sleeping in a war-zone and in a BOQ in Newport.

            Do you guys have kids?

            1. Life is also sweeter when you’re not scrutinizing. Unfortunately, most control freaks can’t get to this point and they’re just miserable as fuck.

            2. Thanks Tarran. Yes we do – so far so good on that front. The entire thing is amicable and civil (so far) but we haven’t started splitting up money. It is obviously hard on the kids but they seem to be bearing up ok at the moment.

        2. My wife and I are open like that and I would honestly MUCH rather her read all my emails pretty much immediately so that confusion and miscommunication can be rectified immediately rather than have some off hand comment I made to someone else be misintrepreted months later after I mostly forgot it.

          For me, I mostly don’t care who she’s talking to or what they are talking about, for her however it makes a very big difference.

          Most of the difference is in the fact that we have 4 kids and she is dependent on me financially (she is a SAHM). If we split and I fought her on it she wouldn’t get enough in Child Support to cover living expenses for her and 4 kids wheras I could live quite comfortably on the remaining half of my salary

          1. Your ignorance is kind of scary…

            If you were to divorce, you wouldn’t be getting half your salary. Some portion would go to her as alimony. Then they run a calculation that figures out child support payments so that you can both give the kids an equally good/sucky life.

            The upshot is that if you care about your kids, you will probably not want the kids living in an apartment in a bad neighborhood, can’t afford childcare for work under such an arrangement. So you will allow her to have primary custody and live in the house.

            Bingo! The child support payments just went up dramatically, and you are living in a tiny one bedroom apartment in the seedy part of town because that’s all you can afford.

            1. Even if it was 70% of my take home income, I could live easier on 30% than she could support 4 kids on the remaining 70%

              That said If we did divorce I would give as much as physically possible to ensure minimal impact on my kids, realistically I could survive on around 25% of my take home pay and would give the rest to them

      2. I’m not on Facebook because I don’t care to know that much about other people and have no desire to tell strangers about my personal life.

        1. Congrats, I’d love to follow this example.

    5. I’m thinking the real reason the engagement ended is that his fiance realized she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with a self absorbed, whining pussy like that author.


        1. That’s hot.

    6. What the fuck? Thank you for sparing some poor person the divorce, you immature child. Grow the fuck up.

      1. Pre-Code FTW.

  52. If you believe in self ownership for yourself, you believe in it for others.

    “My body, my choice, your money.”

    1. Just because I own myself, doesn’t mean I can’t own you too.

      1. You are playing a semantic game.

        The concept of self ownership is that a person cannot be owned by another. Each person owns themselves.

        1. Yes. It was a joke.

    2. Almost every liberal is opposed to the concept of self-ownership. They characterize the philosophy as a slaver’s racket somehow.

      The irony is that if you don’t own yourself, someone else does.

  53. When she started the ‘it is all Bush and the repubs fault’ crap I agreed with her that Bush was awful.

    Rhetorical aikido; when your opponent rushes you, step back and let him rush harmlessly past.

    1. Then hit her with a Steven Seagal straight-arm to the throat.

      1. Does nobody in any of those movies lower his chin and take a painful but totally survivable forearm to the mouth?

        1. Hey it takes years of training and incredible discipline to be that much of a badass…..but most importantly you need the cash to pay guys to let you beat the crap out of them and look good doing it.

  54. NO FUCKING SPOILERS, you guys!

    A representative of Bayer Chemical hires him to run a research facility, but the plane crashes on an island inhabited by dinosaurs and primitive humans. He becomes king.

    1. Sounds like a deathbed morphine dream to me…

    1. Anything plus Yakkity Sax = humor.

  55. Sickening moment man PUNCHES female shop clerk in the face in a row over 41 cents

    The man became belligerent after being denied a cigar when he was 41 cents short
    He then leaned over the counter and punched the clerk in the face
    Stunned customers froze in horror as the angry man left the store


    Considering all these stories of cops who have absolutely no compunction against striking women, I’m thinking it was an off-duty cop.

    1. Stunned customers froze in horror as the angry man left the store


    2. Geez. Once while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled at Walgreens a customer ( 50 yo man, 6ft 225 lbs ) became belligerent with the pharmacist ( ~30 yo woman, 5 ft, 95 lbs ) because his prescription had run out and the pharmacist would not give him more.

      While he was cursing and stabbing his finger in her direction, threatening her, myself and two other guys walked over and stood a couple of feet behind him. We didnt say anything or do anything, just stood there. When he realized we were there, he turned and looked at us…shut his mouth, then stomped out of the store.

      You are right KK, pussies.

  56. When I think about what it must be like to be Shriek, it makes me feel kind of tired and sad inside.

  57. This pretty much summarizes why this is probably my last season caring about NFL football.

    Wilkerson said he didn’t know at first that Locker was hurt and that a ref told him the clean was legal.

    “If it was late, the ref would have thrown a flag,” Wilkerson said. “They didn’t throw a flag.”

    The NFL, however, is considering fining Wilkerson and Jets linebacker Quinton Coples for the hit that injured Locker, a league source told ESPN. Even though the hits did not draw a flag, the league believes Wilkerson led with his helmet and Coples hit the quarterback after the ball was gone, the source said.

    1. So, I understand why the defanging of the defense could lead you to drop the NFL (I agree to some extent), but why would that be something that you overlook for the rest of this season?

    2. This is new? The League was fining Jack Tatum and George Atkinson for hits in the 70’s that didn’t draw penalties.

    3. Hard hits are apparently illegal now.

  58. Considering all these stories of cops who have absolutely no compunction against striking women, I’m thinking it was an off-duty cop.

    I witnessed a dispute over a parking space one time, and one of the guys was such a completely out of bounds asshole about it I would bet money he was a cop.

  59. Puzzler: I share a cubicle and computer with a colleague (when I’m in the office, he’s teleworking, and vice versa). Anyway, I keep my head phones plugged into the computer, because cube mate says he doesn’t listen to music or anything. I usually keep the volume really low because I hate loud sounds. Yet, he mutes the audio on the computer. Every day when I come in, I have to unmute so I can listen to stuff.

    Why would you make it a point to mute the audio when a) you don’t listen to anything, and b) there are headphones plugged in, so any inadvertent audio wouldn’t even be heard?

    1. Maybe he got burned a long time ago where someone had the audio turned up and he navigated to a site with autoplay? It could be he just puts on the mute because that’s his way of ensuring no sounds without having to scrutinize the setup.

      I wouldn’t fash about this.

      1. Yeah, my laptop at home is always on mute because of autoplay bullshit. It’s probably automatic for him at this point.

        1. Same here. The only time my work laptop audio is NOT muted is when I have to watch some sort of training video without a transcript.

    2. Oh, and it sucks about sharing a cube.

      1. It’s awesome sharing a cubicle. I telework every other day. Literally. And this week is a “bad” week because I’m only teleworking two days.

    3. When I first hit HyR this morning, I heard a noise. Wasn’t sure what it was. Then I found that Bill Maher was playing softly on the headphonse on my desk. Autoplay. So even with headphones and the volume down, he could still end up with annoying sounds coming from the headphones.

  60. “The Vatican will saint Pope John Paul II next year.

    “There is a lot of pressure to a make him a saint, to fast a track the a process. I think that a they have a come up a with three miracles, kinda in a hurry, Hard to say if they are legit a…eh ..a couple of them maybe card tricks.”

    1. “Pick a Host, any Host…”

  61. iPhone map app directs Fairbanks drivers onto airport taxiway

    At least twice in the past three weeks, drivers from out of town who followed the directions on their iPhones not only reached airport property, but also crossed the runway and drove to the airport ramp side of the passenger terminal.

    “These folks drove past several signs. They even drove past a gate. None of that cued them that they did something inappropriate,” said Melissa Osborn, chief of operations at the Fairbanks airport.

    Angie Spear, marketing director for the airport, said the incidents show how much blind faith drivers who are unfamiliar with an area will place in their electronic gadgets’ instructions.

    1. This is why I don’t like GPS in cars. It turns people into idiots. You should know where you are going before you set out.

    2. Waze tried to bring me to the backwoods hinterlands of AVL airport a few weeks ago. Not exactly on the tarmac, but definitely not the terminal. Luckily I knew where I was.

      1. I had a great moment while riding with a friend. He kept insisting that Apple Maps weren’t that bad. I watched as he put our destination into the app and saw the map tell him the entrance was on the wrong side of the property. I knew it was the wrong spot, but I let him go with it.

        We drove out to the wrong point and watched him fiddle with the app, trying to get it to take him to the right place. It kept insisting that the address we were looking for was RIGHT THERE he just needed to turn left. (there was no street where it was telling him to turn.)

        Finally, I pulled out a non apple smartphone and got him the correct directions.

  62. More proof that the King’s men (and dogs) are better than you (and yours)… Maine Police Dogs to get Bulletproof Vests

  63. I bet everyone’s dying to know what every libertarian’s favorite commentator, James Kirchik, thinks about the NSA revelations. No, not about the fact that the govt is spying on us, the fact that the people revealing that the govt spied on us are traitors:

    “Greenwald and other publicizers of Snowden, Manning, and WikiLeaks are engaged in a sinister enterprise that, while purporting to forward a benign agenda of promoting “transparency,” is singularly aimed at exposing the national-security secrets of the United States and its closest allies, all with a view to embarrassing Western governments by portraying them as authoritarian states that have grievously betrayed their purported ideals. They are not traitors themselves, but they serve as public-relations coordinators of treasonous actors. They are working to make traitorous actions seem valiant. Call it “treason chic.””


    1. “Writing of Communist fellow travelers in The New Meaning of Treason (1964), British essayist and novelist Rebecca West observed” etc.

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