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A.M. Links: President Obama Makes Weak Case For Action in Syria, FBI Lawyer Who Oversaw NSA Surveillance Abuses Confirmed to Judgeship, Indiana County Judge Rules Right to Work Law Unconstitutional

Ed Krayewski | 9.11.2013 9:00 AM

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Large image on homepages | White House
(White House)
  • saving the oval office for when he really needs to lay it on thick
    White House

    President Obama made the case to the public last night for military action in Syria, though he offered few specifics or new details, outside of his call for Congress to postpone a vote on Syria in light of recent diplomatic developments. Americans don't appear swayed by the speech.

  • Responding to reports the National Security Agency has a backdoor to their cryptographic methods, the National Institute of Standards and Technology insisted it "would not deliberately weaken" its cryptographic standard. The NSA has also been breaking the government's own surveillance rules, according to secret legal documents released by the Obama Administration, going so far as to falsifying certification of non-existent compliance. The Senate overwhelmingly approved the nomination to the Southern District Court of New York of an FBI lawyer who spent the better part of a decade overseeing the NSA's surveillance abuses.
  • New York City's public advocate, Bill de Blasio, won the Democratic primary for New York City mayor, though it's unclear whether he surpassed the 40 percent needed to avoid a run-off. The Republican nomination, meanwhile, was won by Joe Lhota, a former head of the MTA, with 52 percent of the vote.
  • Two Democrat state senators who helped push through gun restrictions in Colorado were the first lawmakers in the state's history to be successfully recalled.
  • Sheriffs across upstate New York say they won't enforce the state's new gun restrictions because the laws are unconstitutional.
  • A county judge ruled Indiana's right to work law unconstitutional. The state's attorney general intends to appeal the decision directly to the state Supreme Court.
  • The Bank of England is considering introducing plastic currency in 2016.

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NEXT: Justice Department Still Polishing Response to State Marijuana Legalization

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Why do we play these games?

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Because we just can't stop?

    2. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      Because FoE is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

      1. Aloysious   12 years ago

        He'll be back.

        1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

          just like a Batman (the TV show) villain

  2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...his call for Congress to postpone a vote on Syria in light of recent diplomatic developments.

    You would think he'd want that authorization vote in his pocket when he negotiating with Putin, er, I mean Assad.

    1. Drake   12 years ago

      Better a pretend postponement than an outright rejection?

    2. db   12 years ago

      Congress ought to authorize Obama to take military action against Russia. Not declare actual war, just give him an AUMF.

  3. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Testicle size may indicate men's childcare aptitude, suggests US study

    Men's aptitude for childcare may be reflected in the size of their testes, according to a study by US scientists.

    Researchers found that men with smaller testes were more likely to take charge of children's bath-time, visits to the doctor, night-time comforting, and other parenting jobs than others who have larger testicles.

    We've got the biggest balls of them all!

    1. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

      Saw an episode of Sopranos last night. Tony is standing in a room waiting, while Bobby walks in pushing a baby carriage.

      Tony: "You're late"
      Bobby: "Sorry. Don't you remember having to do all this"
      Tony: "No, I don't. I have balls"

      Simplified paraphrase, but that was the gist.

  4. Slammer   12 years ago

    Doesn't the photo look like he's wearing a big, shiny crown?

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      Or like MJ's Pepsi commercial?

  5. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Two Democrat state senators who helped push through gun restrictions in Colorado were the first lawmakers in the state's history to be successfully recalled.

    Actual consequences? Wow. It's like Christmas, the Obamacare midterms and your first handjob all rolled into one.

    1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      You're overselling it FoE.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Your first self handjob or your first handjob by someone else?

      Because the later was not quite as amazing as one might expect.

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        It was a phrase in an SNL skit featuring Darrell Hammond as Dan Rather doing election results. "It's like Christmas, the Fourth of July and your first handjob all rolled into one."

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        Serves you right for asking Warty to give you a handjob.

    3. Bardas Phocas   12 years ago

      pour encourager les autres

  6. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    And now a message from Mr. Optimist:

    Sir David Attenborough warns against large families and predicts things will only get worse

    The broadcaster and naturalist, who earlier this year described humans as "a plague on Earth", also said he believed humans have stopped evolving physically and genetically because of birth control and abortion, but that cultural evolution is proceeding "with extraordinary swiftness".

    "We stopped natural selection as soon as we started being able to rear 90-95% of our babies that are born. We are the only species to have put a halt to natural selection, of its own free will, as it were," he tells this week's Radio Times.

    "Stopping natural selection is not as important, or depressing, as it might sound ? because our evolution is now cultural ? We can inherit a knowledge of computers or television, electronics, aeroplanes and so on."

    1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

      What is it he thinks natural selection means, exactly?

    2. some guy   12 years ago

      Human evolution faster over last 5000 years than any other time period.

      I don't think Sir Attenborough knows what he's talking about. But no one here will find that surprising.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        But what about the last 100 years? Low childhood mortality is a very new thing. And that will at least change how we evolve. The pressures we are subjected to are very different when most people survive to reproduce.

        1. some guy   12 years ago

          Look at species that live with no natural predators and plentiful resources. They still evolve. Good examples are the paradise birds of the south pacific which have developed crazy exotic plummage and weird mating rituals because their genes have nothing better to do. Humans have taken this survivability to a whole new level, so I wouldn't be surprised to find that our evolution is accelerating.

          1. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

            Ok, smart guy, then how did we end up with Warty?!

            1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              Bio-weapons project

            2. WTF   12 years ago

              Warty represents the leap to a new, and very dangerous, species.

          2. Zeb   12 years ago

            That may well be the case. People do still choose who to reproduce with for reasons. Since a lot of those reasons don't directly pertain to survival, I think that the birds of paradise is a good analogy in some ways.
            But even weird things like birds of paradise have a much lower rate of survival to adulthood than modern humans.

            Who knows? Unfortunately, we are all going to die soon and won't get to find out.

            1. robc   12 years ago

              The Moties continued to evolve.

          3. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

            crazy exotic plummage and weird mating rituals

            seems applicable to humans.

          4. wwhorton   12 years ago

            For all that it gets bandied about, it seems like even people who surround themselves with the concept of natural selection (like Attenborough) don't fully understand what it means. It happens all the time, even now, even in a society with ubiquitous, ready-to-hand healthcare. It's still a very slow process, so you wouldn't expect to see much change between the beginning of civilization and now.

            He's on to something with culture, though, just not in the way he thinks. Look at birth control. IMHO, that's the biggest selective influence on humans, and it's totally related to culture. For one thing, it's predominantly a feature of the industrialized Western world. For another, there's a correlation between education, wealth, and family size; basically, the smarter you are, the richer you are (and vice versa), and the more of either you are, the less likely you are to have more than two children. Which means that people who are less able to advance economically in our society (and/or people less willing or less able to obtain advanced educations) are more likely to have a greater number of children. You can see where this would go. I suspect that the rich smarties have better life expectancies, but, over time, it doesn't matter. They're not even reproducing at replacement levels, whereas poor dummies (I'm using the scientific terms) are breedin' like rabbits, and doin' it younger.

            1. Invisible Finger   12 years ago

              The reproductive replacement levels of the "rich smarties" is only important inasmuch as those same "rich smarties" are doing more to keep a shitload of poor dummies alive who would die off a lot sooner otherwise.

              If the rich smarties die off, the poor dummies will soon follow as they lack the ability to survive without the other set.

              If you think Paul Krugman falls into the "smart" category, neither of you do.

          5. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

            People basically represent an ecosystem unto themselves. We have predators and prey, parasites and symbiotes, and domesticated and feral strains. Of course we're still evolving, we're still competing with each other for scarce resources needed for genetic expression.

        2. VG Zaytsev   12 years ago

          But what about the last 100 years? Low childhood mortality is a very new thing.

          Not really, we've just moved the mortality from post birth to pre birth.

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Even counting abortions, mortality rates are still pretty low. And pre-birth death happened plenty before abortion was a thing.

      2. gaijin   12 years ago

        without reading the article...wouldn't the spectrum of observable evolutionary changes be more easily seen in the near past than the distant?

        1. some guy   12 years ago

          No idea. I was just presenting evidence. Like the paradise bird example I give above, it just seems to make sense that evolution would continue even in the absense of existential threats.

        2. Sy   12 years ago

          Yes, absolutely. We can document arising, new mutations in a lot of genes, like the Cystic Fibrosis gene, BRCA, etc. The only reason we can document and observe them is because we have documented the gene's sequence. Genes are just proteins that are prone to breaking down very rapidly. I doubt there will be any technology that is going to be able to, say, tell us what particular metabolism genes a brontosaurus had.

      3. tarran   12 years ago

        Humans are undergoing natural selection. It's more driven by culture and sexual pressures than by thinks like your strength in lobbing a spear into a mammoth.

        1. Artifex   12 years ago

          The funny thing is that I think such things are invisible to Sir David because they run contrary to the way his mind works. Deep down he still believes in forces from on high manipulating man to produce a "higher" form. It's sort of the progressive eugenics thing.

          Emergent phenomena are deeply disturbing to such a person because to them there is a way the world is supposed to be and anything that goes against that vision is "bad". Evolutionary pressures run all sorts of surprising directions that are not controlled by the right individual. and this probably completely freaks the guy out at some deeply subconscious level.

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            Yeah, the idea that natural selection has some particular end is a big problem. All it really says is that whatever happens happens. We attach value to the idea of fitness, when all it really means is that an organism manages to reproduce. Often that correlates with traits that we would see as objectively better, but that doesn't have to be the case.

          2. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

            Part of the problem is that they don't see evolution as a simple natural process of selection and change, they see it as the natural analogue and harbinger to social progress -- they believe that there is some universal notion of "progress" which can only go one way (to the totalitarian fad of the moment), and the notion that we could evolve to be stupid (for example, if getting too smart causes us to want to stop reproducing) is terrifying to a progressive on an existential level, like a theist suddenly doubting the existence of God.

    3. Floridian   12 years ago

      I though humans stopped evolving because we don't let people die anymore that couldn't survive without modern technology. But then I read that DNA changes over time at a steady rate so death isn't really necessary for evolution. I wonder if Dave knows about this.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        Genetic mutations mean that there will still always be changes to human beings. The other thing is that death doesn't necessarily have anything to do with natural selection. All that matters is whether you have CHILDREN.

        There are definitely people who die childless, which means that some form of natural selection is still occurring.

        1. Floridian   12 years ago

          I'm curious where that natural selection will lead. It seems that many of the people choosing not to have children tend to be educated an affluent. Many of the people with multiple children seem to have broken homes and live off government subsities.

          1. Irish   12 years ago

            True in America, but worldwide the education and affluence level is skyrocketing. The 'global recession' is actually just a 1st and somewhat second world recession. Even the second world has rebounded pretty well.

            One thing that's happened is that there are more free countries now than there used to be. Also, Western regulations have resulted in tons of manufacturing jobs moving to third world nations which has helped them tremendously.

            The world as a whole is becoming more affluent, so I wouldn't worry about the people from broken homes in America. They're a pretty small percentage of what's actually going on globally.

            1. Floridian   12 years ago

              You are very optimistic and I like it.

              1. some guy   12 years ago

                So far things have only ever gotten better for humans, on all timescales. I see no reason to be pessimistic about the future.

                1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

                  do you have to wear shades?

          2. Nephilium   12 years ago

            You mean like in Idiocracy?

            1. WTF   12 years ago

              "Your shit's all retarded and you talk like a fag."

            2. wwhorton   12 years ago

              Well, the point he's making isn't the same as the point about lower-income, dopier layabouts poppin' out more kids. Although, granted, that study came I think from Time Magazine, so I might have been better off consulting my dogs.

          3. Sy   12 years ago

            I don't think you understand the concept of "natural selection". It's only a concept used to describe en extant pressure that works to filter disfavored or detrimental mutation. As far as humans go, wealthy and affluent have nothing to do with genes.

      2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        I remember reading somewhere that because of random mutations the genes that make us smarter than monkeys will be gone in 10,000 years and human intelligence will end its blip on the radar of time.

        Don't know if it's true or not.

        1. Irish   12 years ago

          That strikes me as unbelievably unlikely. First off, there hasn't been any evidence of a regression yet, and you'd think there would have been if random mutations could do that. Secondly, people need to have children to pass on their genes. If people are born who are dirt stupid because of a random mutation, it's very unlikely that anyone would want to have children with them.

          Therefore, even if a random mutation caused one person to be born without some of those genes, how would the new genes propagate themselves when no one would want to breed with him?

          1. RBS   12 years ago

            If people are born who are dirt stupid because of a random mutation, it's very unlikely that anyone would want to have children with them.

            Citation needed...

            1. wwhorton   12 years ago

              Ice Cube's n****'s would beg to differ.

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unk0OiIitw4

              1. Brett L   12 years ago

                Ice Cube has more than one nutsac? That is a weird mutation.

          2. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            Here's a takedown of the idea.

          3. wwhorton   12 years ago

            If people are born who are dirt stupid because of a random mutation, it's very unlikely that anyone would want to have children with them.

            Let me put it like this. I'm married, but if I weren't, and I ran into, say, Christina Hendricks at a bar, and she opened up with an offer to tax it bareback at her place for the rest of the evening, I wouldn't turn her down because she isn't well-read. And, biologically speaking, the issue isn't whether I'd want to have children with her, it's whether I could be convinced to bang her.

            So what I'm saying is that if it's up to me to drive human evolution towards higher intellect, let me apologize in advance.

            1. KDN   12 years ago

              So what I'm saying is that if it's up to me to drive human evolution towards higher intellect, let me apologize in advance.

              It's not up to you, it's up to women. Their typical attraction to wealth and status (often a proxy for intelligence) will (hopefully) continue to make us (collectively) more intelligent.

              Men choose young and fit mothers in order to have fit children (among other reasons). Women choose successful fathers in order to have smart, successful children.

        2. tarran   12 years ago

          That's baloney.

          Our genetic makeup undergoes a drunken walk from where it is. It's not like the smart people who don't have a new sumb mutation are going to be selected against for having children.

          1. Sy   12 years ago

            Exactly. Evolution is not sentient. Organisms don't 'evolve'. Organisms 'are evolved'.
            Enzymes fuck up, and chromosomes merge, and radiation fucks up the structure of complex proteins. It's not a 'guided' process like some people here seem to think it is.

            1. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

              Radiation will continue to have a diminishing effect on any sort of evolutionary traits. The earth's background radiation level is continuously decreasing as the heavy elements in the earth slowly decay (U, Th, Am, etc.).

              This is why we are so good at combating the effects of radiation up to 100x current background levels. We have come from a time when the planet was much more radioactive, naturally. Organisms evolved DNA repair mechanisms to combat ionising radiation damage during this time.

        3. Zeb   12 years ago

          We'll become the Eloi.

          I doubt that is true. Modern humans have been around for a lot longer than 10,000 years. And intelligence has only become more important to people's desirability as reproductive partners. There is probably a limit to the utility of intelligence, which is probably why we are not all super geniuses by now, but I'll bet we'll stay about as smart as we are now, at least as long as we can maintain an advanced culture and high population.

          1. some guy   12 years ago

            All we need is a few geniuses. Everyone else just has to be smart enough to use what the geniuses innovate.

            1. Zeb   12 years ago

              And since so many geniuses are socially awkward or dickish, it is not necessarily the best reproductive strategy. Smart, successful people also tend to have fewer children.

              1. Virginian   12 years ago

                Succesful defined how? Because from a evolutionary/natural selection standpoint Antonio Cromartie is what success looks like.

                1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

                  Even the strongest and fastest human is no match for a lion, or a wolf, or a bear, or an orangutan, or just about any other wild predator. We've gotten to where we are on our tool making ability and social skills.

                  Imagine facing an angry grizzly bear, would you rather be an old pasty dude with a hand cannon, or an NFL player unarmed?

                  1. pan fried wylie   12 years ago

                    Imagine facing an angry grizzly bear, would you rather be an old pasty dude with a hand cannon and his similarly armed buddies, or an NFL player unarmed?

                    enhanced the example.

                  2. Virginian   12 years ago

                    You misunderstand me. Cromartie wins because he has 12 children. From an evolutionary/natural selection standpoint, that's all that matters.

                    1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

                      Oh, I didn't know that. I thought you meant because he was fast and strong; which doesn't hurt, but having the right tools helps more.

                  3. Smilin' Joe Fission   12 years ago

                    The Edge was a great movie.

                2. Zeb   12 years ago

                  Successful by the standards we judge ourselves by. Obviously that won't always correlate with successful in a reproductive sense.

        4. Nephilium   12 years ago

          Was it perhaps a PKD story? That's the kind of change that would really be needed.

      3. Zeb   12 years ago

        DNA does mutate constantly, but death plays a big part in evolution too. As Floridian points out, the actual important thing is whether and how much you reproduce, but very low childhood death rates will fix it so that a lot more people manage to pass on their genes to a new generation. SO while it is absurd to say that human natural selection has stopped, some people are still definitely much more successful at reproducing than others, it is definitely very different because so many more people live to maturity.

      4. Steve G   12 years ago

        Yes, there are always "changes" but without selection pressures there's no real direction to it or net effect, just randomness.

  7. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The Republican nomination, meanwhile, was won by Joe Lhota, a former head of the MTA, with 52 percent of the vote.

    Lhota must be boring as fuck since we haven't been told how terrible he is.

    1. Ed   12 years ago

      http://reason.com/blog/2013/08.....ican-nyc-c

      1. Slammer   12 years ago

        If you don't support Joe Lhota you won't be safe. Rudy, Ray Kelly, Bloomberg 9/11

      2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        Joe Lhota calls himself a "new brand of Republican" ? in favor of "fiscal discipline" but progressive on social issues: He's pro-choice on abortion, is fine with same-sex marriage, and is in favor of legalizing marijuana.

        OMG I almost fell asleep reading that paragraph. How gay are his kids? How many times has he been on pain killers? How many hookers has he killed?

        How can New Yorkers make a decision on the most entertaining mayor if you don't give them info?

        1. some guy   12 years ago

          He sounds almost... libertarian. I'm sure it's because he's lying about the "fiscal discipline".

  8. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Chilling video shows mother of two screaming in horror as police officers 'break her cheekbone during violent DUI arrest'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....kbone.html
    While she's cuffed they smash her face into the hood of the car, then throw her face first onto the pavement. Nothing else happens.

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Even ITFPAPIC: Procedures were followed; nothing else happened; you're just a member of the bigorati; I have to go surfing with Morgan Fairchild; HTH!

      1. WTF   12 years ago

        Way too much proper punctuation.

      2. Aloysious   12 years ago

        Not enough derp.

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      The local news version. In which elected officials make concerned noises and no charges are filed against the police officers.

      1. Drake   12 years ago

        Well, the commissioners are scared shitless that these assholes just bankrupted the city. Maybe after the city pays out a few million, they will start firing and prosecuting cops.

        If not, the city residents will know who to blame for the tax increase.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          My favorite part of the local article I posted is how the city commissioners haven't watched the video on the advice of the City Attorney. Presumably so they can't be used as witnesses in the lawsuit.

    3. Drake   12 years ago

      Wow. Remember in the early 90's when the country was shocked at Rodney King (a big dangerous man) getting a beatdown?

      Now the police record themselves just beating the fuck out of a woman who wasn't even resisting - and nobody reacts.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        We've desensitized to this crap.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          I haven't.

          1. sarcasmic   12 years ago

            Me neither.

            1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              I feel sorry for you guys then, that stress can't be good for the heart.

              1. sarcasmic   12 years ago

                If I want sympathy I'll look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

                1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

                  Harden your heart - or your arteries, it's your choice.

      2. db   12 years ago

        That's a good point.

    4. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      "This is disturbing. I could not believe that I saw that happening in Tallahassee, Florida. It's like something you'd see in Detroit or Los Angeles or some other town. This is Tallahassee."

      Good on him for being outraged that the cops put this Southern city on the same moral level as a Northern one.

      1. Root Boy   12 years ago

        I lived in FL for a while. Lots of transplants from up north, including a bunch of cops I met.

        1. Cyto   12 years ago

          South Florida is full of retired police from NY and NJ. Many come down after vesting and take a job on the local force. They live pretty darned well with the combined income. Most of the really nice boats in my neighborhood are owned by these folks.

  9. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Heineken's Lost Plan To Build Houses Out Of Beer Bottles

    A beer bottle standing upright is, surprisingly, up to code, bearing 50 kg per square centimeter. But bottles are not easily vertically stacked. Laid on their side, though, they crush too easily. Habraken's solution was to develop vertically stackable Chianti-like bottles with long necks and recessed sides that nested into and supported each other. It was a brilliant compromise, but Heineken's marketing department rejected it as "effeminate"--a curious description considering that the bottle consisted of two bulbous compartments surmounted by a long shaft.

  10. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    Happy September 11!

    It's like Christmas for death cultists. Everybody climb up on the pile of dead bodies, join hands and emote.

    1. Slammer   12 years ago

      But..but... BAGPIPES!

    2. some guy   12 years ago

      If we don't Obama Syria then the terrorists win because 9/11.

    3. Jordan   12 years ago

      Everybody climb up on the pile of dead bodies

      Back off. That's Obama's territory.

    4. Irish   12 years ago

      It's like Christmas for death cultists.

      Isn't Christmas like Christmas for death cultists? They're celebrating the birth of a martyr, after all.

    5. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      according to my $1 calendar, today is "Patriot Day"

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        On my $15 calendar, it's just wednesday.

        1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

          I should have spent more $$.

      2. Zeb   12 years ago

        My free calendar agrees.

      3. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

        Today is Patriot Act Day. Every New Englander knows Patriots' Day is in April.

      4. Numeromancer   12 years ago

        Remember: if you're not paying, you're not the customer, you're the product.

    6. sticks   12 years ago

      9/11 was basically just the first Star Wars movie

      Can someone explain that joke to me?

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        Maybe the WTC is the death star?

      2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        The WTC was like the Death Star, because capitalism!

        I don't know, that seems stupid no matter how you slice it.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          It is insanely stupid and wrong, but I can't think of what else that could mean.

        2. sticks   12 years ago

          Yeah. I thought maybe it relied on knowledge of Scottish culture/media. Or maybe Scots are tired of hearing about 911 like I'm tired of hearing about stars wars movies. I don't know.

          Probably just capitalism BAD though.

        3. Isaac Bartram   12 years ago

          The WTC was like the Death Star, because capitalism!

          The fact that the WTC is associated with capitalism kind of shows how corrupted the word has become.

          What is it about a building put up by a government agency that used eminent domain to acquire its land to build office space that the market had clearly signaled was not needed that makes people think of capitalism?

          1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

            Isaac, businesses occupied most of it.

            1. Marshall Gill   12 years ago

              Many were even corporations.

      3. RBS   12 years ago

        The WTC is Alderaan?

    7. db   12 years ago

      I just think of it as the annniversary of the beginning of my inadvertent cross-country road trip after being marooned out west by the grounding of the airlines.

  11. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Thunderbird 2 is go! Gigantic amphibious airship which could revolutionise air travel as we know it takes first flight

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....world.html

    1. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

      MUST. HAVE. TICKET. FOR. RIDE.

    2. MJGreen   12 years ago

      It's a rigid airship fueled by non-flammable helium!

  12. Rich   12 years ago

    "Coloradans ... sent a clear message that politicians who blatantly ignore their constituents will be held accountable."

    Stay tuned.

    1. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

      FTA - this little jab:

      "Because the turnout in Morse's election in 2010 was so low ? a race where he probably would have lost had there not been a Libertarian candidate ? "

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        Some people get mad at libertarians spoiling elections, but I think it's a good thing. Maybe in the next election the candidates will attempt to court those voters by toning down their statism.

      2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        It's probably correct though. It was
        48% D;
        47% R;
        5% L

      3. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

        i love this shit. If the two TEAMS would put up candidates that voters can support then the LP would not be a threat now would it?

        1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          Oh, I agree. Embrace freedom and the L's won't have a reason to "spoil" your little election.

          1. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

            Ballot access is still a good reason, actually. But run a candidate that doesn't suck, and push preferential voting with easy ballot access, sure.

  13. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Arkansas Town Hosts World Championship Squirrel Cook Off
    In Bentonville, Ark., teams competed to come up with the finest squirrel-based dishes.

    This year's culinary creations ranged from squirrel with cashews and spring rolls to Caribbean jerk squirrel and fried plantains. The dishes were a step up in sophistication from last year's fare, which included squirrel jalape?o cheese poppers and minced squirrel brains with cream cheese in pastry dough. Still, the same winning duo as last year, brothers Brandon and Blayne Estes, once again took home the $500 prize and bragging rights with a simpler, more countrified entry: squirrel sausage.

    1. db   12 years ago

      That's practically a direct threat, son. You think you have what it takes to go up against the squirrels and win?

  14. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    He's got the touch! Jack Black gets hands-on as he massages Maria Menounos on the set of Extra

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....Extra.html
    Lucky fuck.

  15. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

    I have to agree with the judge in indiana. You can't force a union to represent non-dues paying non-members. Those non-members chose to go it alone - so forcing the union to associate with them and negotiate on their behalf is pretty much the opposite of their declared choice. If you go it alone, you go it alone, if you join the union, you join the union, don't mix and match (no forcing dues from non-members, no forcing prepresentation of non-members)

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      Agreed. Right to work laws are as much a violation of freedom of association as closed shop laws. The solution is to repeal laws that favor anyone.

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        I'd disagree that right to work laws are equally bad as closed shop laws.

        1. Zeb   12 years ago

          He didn't say they were as bad. Just that they were both violations of freedom of association.

    2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      Yeah, the way it was written, it was basically designed to get people to quit paying union dues.

      Instead of "right-to-work", how about a "workplace freedom of association" law?

      1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        It should be up to the business owner. I'm not sure why I would, but if I wanted to require union membership as a condition of employment, that ought to be my call.

    3. Cdr Lytton   12 years ago

      Except that the non-dues paying non-members can't opt out of the collective bargaining contract.

  16. sarcasmic   12 years ago

    Would you sign up to die on MARS? 200,000 people around the the world apply for a one-way ticket to the red planet

    Mars One plans to have a human settlement on Mars within a decade
    The group will select between 24 and 40 candidates for training in 2015
    The third round of selection will include a series of challenges that will be broadcast on television and online

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci.....lanet.html

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Yes, but hopefully not during the landing.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        No, you will definately survive the landing and reach mars. Just how far into mars you will go upon impact, and how long afterwards you will live...

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        It's all going to be faked, anyway.

    2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      That depends how many redheads they sent with me.

      1. Ted S.   12 years ago

        Would the redheads want to go to Mars with you?

        And what if it's a bunch of ginger bears? (Or butch ginger lesbians, I suppose? One of the two depending on which way you swing.)

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          I think the Heinlein Rule dictates that a breeding population of redheads must be immediately established on all human inhabited planets to ensure that they are around to have kinky sex with any super-competent protagonist who shows up.

        2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Would the redheads want to go to Mars with you?

          That's why they need to send a lot.

      2. a better weapon   12 years ago

        something something red planet something

  17. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    California city backs plan to seize negative equity mortgages

    Richmond's city council voted 4 to 3 for Mayor Gayle McLaughlin's proposal for city staff to work more closely with Mortgage Resolution Partners to put the plan crafted by the investor group for the city to work.

    Richmond can now invoke eminent domain if trusts for more than 620 delinquent and performing "underwater" mortgages reject offers made by the city to buy the loans at deep discount pegged to their properties' current appraised prices to refinance them and reduce their principal.

    what could go wrong?

    1. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Richmond can now invoke eminent domain if trusts for more than 620 delinquent and performing "underwater" mortgages reject offers made by the city to buy the loans at deep discount pegged to their properties' current appraised prices to refinance them and reduce their principal.

      Are the property taxes also pegged to the new, lower valuations?

      1. mr simple   12 years ago

        Someone's getting pegged, but I don't think it's the property taxes.

  18. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Police: Shooting victim too drunk to remember getting shot

    The man told police he had been "extremely intoxicated" over the last several days. He said he recalled the shooting happening a few days earlier, but didn't remember who shot him or where the shooting took place.

    He then refused to answer any other questions about the shooting, according to police.

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      "I don't remember."

      "A lie?"

      "A choice."

  19. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    is there a competition for this sort of thing?

    Accused hooker claimed to be the 'best on Stock Island'

    The undercover officer who met 45-year-old Dorothy Austin at 4 p.m. on Friday told her he was stressed, according to a news release from the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.

    Austin then allegedly offered him sex. The undercover officer then reportedly offered Austin $40 for oral sex.

    Austin said she was the "best on Stock Island" and for that amount of money would take her time, according to the report.

    1. db   12 years ago

      I have friends on Stock Island. I wonder if they can introduce me?

      1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

        You didn't see the photo did you?

        Inre: the article...

        Goddamn this shit pisses me off. Fucking piggies wasting tax dollars with their little stings. They fucking love their stings almost as much as they do shooting dogs. Fuckers.

        1. db   12 years ago

          Yikes.

          1. General Butt Naked   12 years ago

            Who knows, maybe the back of her head is very beautiful.

        2. db   12 years ago

          What's puzzling to me is how can there be such a thing as an undercover cop in Key West? It's such a small and relatively isolated community it would seem impossible to hide one's profession there. The folks I know who live there all seem to know everyone in town.

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        I imagine if you go to the cheapest bar in the area, you can make her acquaintance without an introduction.

  20. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

    The Bank of England is considering introducing plastic currency in 2016.

    But they are hoping to avoid a meltdown.

    1. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

      uh...*groan*

  21. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    New York City's public advocate, Bill de Blasio, won the Democratic primary for New York City mayor, though it's unclear whether he surpassed the 40 percent needed to avoid a run-off.

    If you're going to have run off voting, why would 40% be the threshold. Wouldn't 50% be the logical cut off? Would would 40% for A 30% for B and 30% for C mean you wouldn't do a run off?

    1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      It's a very logical system, based on game theory, especially the Prisoner's Dilemma. Not something easily explained to the unwashed masses.

      1. gaijin   12 years ago

        Not something easily explained to the unwashed masses.

        are you suggesting Auric's hygiene is not beyond reproach?

        1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          I'll be forced to suggest a lot more than that if he doesn't stop questioning the arbitrariness logic of the system. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.

    2. Virginian   12 years ago

      FYTW

    3. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Actually I should have said 40/39/21 as a better example.

    4. robc   12 years ago

      KY does the same thing. I agree with you.

      Instant runoff makes the most sense, as you dont need to spend money on a second election.

      1. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

        APPROVAL VOTING. Simple, Common (in politics as well as in other parts of life), and Cheap (as it incurs zero new costs to conduct elections). It also provides the most desirable candidate to all parties involved.

        1. robc   12 years ago

          It also provides the most desirable candidate to all parties involved.

          Not sure this is true. Provides the candidate who is marginally acceptable to the most people.

          1. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

            My sentence was poorly constructed. The most desirable candidate amongst the choices present as represented by a comparative spectrum is chosen. It is the Bobby Rahal approach to voting...Consistently coming in second in a points race makes you a winner in the end.

      2. SugarFree   12 years ago

        NONE OF THE ABOVE

        If NOTB gets more votes than any other candidate, those candidates may never seek office again.

        1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

          I'd definitely vote more often if NOTA was on the ballot.

          Imagine how many votes an independent candidate would get if he legally changed his name to None Ofthe Above.

  22. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    When Obamacare 'Navigators' Ask If You're Qualified, You Should Ask Them About Identity Theft

    "It is Congress' responsibility to conduct careful oversight and to be good stewards of taxpayer dollars," said Energy and Commerce Committee Vice Chairman Marsha Blackburn, R-TN. "Americans have every right to know how their hard-earned dollars are being spent to implement the president's health care law."

    The ranking member on the committee, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-CA, who is a master at congressional oversight, blasted back with a letter of his own: "You have opened investigations of every group that received Navigator grants in 11 states," he wrote. "And you are requesting that they provide briefings and answer a long list of questions on organization budgets and employee training, education, monitoring, review, and supervision."

    The Moleman speaketh.

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      Randomly select three "Navigators" for an hour of questioning about DemocratCare on live TV. Then we'll "see what's in it".

    2. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

      So how does one become an Obamacare Navagator? Forced beurcratic evolution over thousands of years? Does that mean these people are Romans?

  23. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Republican says he'll OK Syria strikes if Obama returns Nobel prize

    A Republican lawmaker said he'll vote to authorize military action against Syria if President Obama returns his Nobel Peace Prize.

    Freshman Tea Party Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) suggested the swap in a press statement Tuesday ahead of the president's primetime address to sell strikes to a skeptical public. Stockman said Obama must answer 11 questions to gain his support ? including whether the president is willing to return his 2009 prize.

    1. sarcasmic   12 years ago

      Nice.

    2. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

      That's totally AWESOME!

      1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        Stockman's Twitter is a laugh riot. I encourage you to check it out.

        1. Snark Plissken   12 years ago

          I will, thanks.

    3. gaijin   12 years ago

      those dirty teabaggers...showing such disrespect to Our President!

    4. Rich   12 years ago

      So, what are the other 10?

      Stockman's 21 questions on Benghazi.

    5. Steve G   12 years ago

      I would expect no better name for a rep from Texas...

  24. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    A county judge ruled Indiana's right to work law unconstitutional.

    Forum shopping, FTW!

  25. SIV   12 years ago

    21st Century living:

    Soylent Eggs

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      It's made of plant. That's pretty much the opposite of Soylent.

      I think it's great. If the tech cooks and tastes like eggs, but is cheaper (without subsidies) then it would be a great innovation.

      1. SIV   12 years ago

        In the book, Make Room Make Room, Soylent was "soybean-lentil" which is pretty much what the eggs are made of.

        1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

          Ha. And what was the population number in the book that caused all of those ills?

          1. Virginian   12 years ago

            Seven billion as I recall.

            1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              That it? We passed that when, 2009?

              1. Virginian   12 years ago

                Yeah that's why it's funny. You know, the overpopulation fear is driven by people who cluster in the hive. If they took two weeks and drove around the US, they'd see how silly their fears are.

                1. SIV   12 years ago

                  Maybe it has more to do with zoning and building permits:

                  http://www.usatoday.com/story/.....s/2580179/

          2. SIV   12 years ago

            The book was the first time I ever heard of tilapia. Now that shit is everywhere.

            1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

              Well, they are shit-eating fish.

        2. some guy   12 years ago

          Hm. You learn something new every day.

      2. Ted S.   12 years ago

        There was Soylent Yellow and Soylent Red in addition to Soylent Green, IIRC.

        (The movie is airing this Friday on TCM if you want to watch.)

    2. Loki   12 years ago

      Are they green eggs?

      ...and ham, Sam I am?

  26. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...the National Institute of Standards and Technology insisted it "would not deliberately weaken" its cryptographic standard.

    Meaning, of course, that they didn't deliberate before acquiescing to the NSA's request.

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      Or meaning that the gag order is still in effect.

  27. gaijin   12 years ago

    What, no new polls this morning?

  28. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Obama Rescues Assad

    What could be worse for America's standing in the world than a Congress refusing to support a President's proposal for military action against a rogue regime that used WMD? Here's one idea: A U.S. President letting that rogue be rescued from military punishment by the country that has protected the rogue all along.

    That's where President Obama now finds himself on Syria after he embraced Russian President Vladimir Putin's offer to take custody of Bashar Assad's chemical weapons. The move may rescue Mr. Obama and Congress from the political agony of a vote on a resolution to authorize a military strike on Syria. But the diplomatic souk is now open, and Mr. Obama has turned himself into one of the junior camel traders.

  29. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

    Everyone saw Andrew Sullivan lose his mind (again) last night, right?

    That was one of the clearest, simplest and most moving presidential speeches to the nation I can imagine.

    1. Warty   12 years ago

      Yes, he's still a community organizer. It's just that now, the community he is so effectively organizing is the world.

      Oh. Delicious.

      1. some guy   12 years ago

        I bet the polls on Syria don't budge more than the margin of error after this speech.

      2. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

        I want that emblazoned on Sully's tombstone.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      He obviously started drinking well before the game started.

    3. Tim   12 years ago

      He must have been stoned.

      1. tarran   12 years ago

        In his defense, he hasn't heard many good speeches since he started his quest to find pictures of Sarah Palin's genitalia.

    4. Slammer   12 years ago

      Hail Caesar!

    5. Brett L   12 years ago

      Who?

    6. Jordan   12 years ago

      Sweet Aqua Buddha. That's like Shriek and Tony wrapped up into one. It's Shrony.

      1. Drake   12 years ago

        Andrew Sullivan... for attacking a country that hasn't attacked the U.S. or an ally... just because a guy he likes says so... Too much irony even for me.

    7. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

      Obama felt he should go to the Congress, and reverse some of the strong currents toward the imperial presidency that took hold under Dick Cheney.

      You don't even like Obama's rollback of the imperial presidency?

      1. Loki   12 years ago

        Just ignore the fact that only a couple of weeks ago he was bloviating about not needing congress' permission and only went to congress after it became clear that public opinion wasn't on his side and congress sent him a letter signed by 140 representitives reminding that actually, yes, he does.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuGtxt84wPQ

        1. Neoliberal Kochtopus   12 years ago

          Yeah, I don't see any evidence that the President did this out of some magnanimous impulse or desire to preserve the branches of government. What we all saw was that the Parliament saved Cameron from getting involved in a war and Obama thought, "aw sweet, I'll go do that".

      2. Root Boy   12 years ago

        He also said he would still bomb even if Congress didn't approve. Not Imperial at all

    8. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

      Sullivan has a limited imagination.

      Has he figured out that a small minority, that has been the target of public hate in the past, may not want to live and die by the Great Man's Emotional Rhetoric?

    9. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      I see Sullivan's man-crush is back on.

  30. Warty   12 years ago

    When studies are op-eds

    This second divergence is a result "of widening economic inequality that, unless we decide as a society to invest in livable-wage jobs and a truly egalitarian educational system, will only get worse," Coontz said.

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      I fucking hate that term. All jobs are livable-wage jobs. If someone can't live on a wage, they won't take the job. People are stupid, but not as stupid as progressives seem to think.

      1. Tim   12 years ago

        You want to hire that neighbor kid to mow your lawn? $17.50 an hour plus in kind contribution to his 401K. Health insurance prorated.

        1. Loki   12 years ago

          Then I won't hire that kid (or anyone else) to mow my lawn.

          Now, for any drive-by progtards, take that attitude and multiply it by every business large or small in the country. If you make it prhibitively expensive to hire someone to do a job, then no one will be hired to do it. The business owner/ management team will find a way to make do without that extra worker.

      2. Rasilio   12 years ago

        "All jobs are livable-wage jobs. If someone can't live on a wage, they won't take the job"

        No they aren't, but then not everyone needs a living wage job.

        My wife for example finds herself with an abundance of free time on her hands now that our youngest is in school.

        She is deliberating between returning to school or going back to work with that time.

        Given that I make enough by myself to place us well into the top economic quintile and she's been out of the workforce for more than a decade she does not need a living wage job, she needs a job that will get her recent relevant experience.

        In 2 more years my oldest will be old enough to get his first job, given that he'll still be under 18 and therefore having all of his material needs covered by me he will also not need a living wage job, just something to get him experience and some pocket money, maybe enough to pay for a car.

        Some jobs are simply not intended to be primary household income jobs and I'm sorry but if you are over the age of 24 and need a job to provide the primary financial support yourself/your family and find yourself working in those non living wage jobs for more than 18 consecutive months then you are a loser who deserves neither sympathy or charity.

    2. Raston Bot   12 years ago

      So says family historian Stephanie Coontz.

      Anyone who solicits economic policy from a family historian deserves what they get.

  31. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Dem Senator: I Think This Is All Part of Obama's Plan

    The rapid diplomatic developments over the last day or so between the United States, Russia, Syria, and the rest of the international community are all part of a "creative" plan the Obama administration came up with to avoid military strikes in Syria, according to one Democratic senator.

    "I believe in serendipity to a point, but I do believe that the president has been talking to the Russians about this for a number of days, at least," Chris Murphy, a freshman from Connecticut, said on CNN on Tuesday afternoon. "There's some pretty smart guys in this administration who I know have been thinking long and hard about every possible way around war."

    1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Just as I predicted.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      Hey, Chris, do these "smart guys" have names?

    3. Palin's Buttplug   12 years ago

      I kept telling the Peanut Gallery that Obama would not go to war with Syria but you fuckers won't listen.

      1. John   12 years ago

        No. He will just threaten to only to back down and destroy US credibility in the future, which is worse. Thanks to him being a complete moron with no self control or ability to shut up and control what he says, we are now left with the world thinking US threats of force are meaningless. That will work out well.

        1. Tim   12 years ago

          Putin's made him his bitch. Michelle must be pissed.

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        It's nice to see you celebrating Obama getting his nuts cut off by Putin, Congress, and the American population at large.

    4. Loki   12 years ago

      Shorter Chris Murphy: "I BELIEVE!!!!!!"

  32. MP   12 years ago

    Americans don't appear swayed by the speech

    Are you SURE? I believe we need five more posts today to confirm this.

  33. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    Help Kickstart World War III. "Why? Because Obama."

    Similar, non parody video

    1. some guy   12 years ago

      Hmmm... a Kickstarter for WWIII would be... interesting.

      I'd suggest some contribution rewards, but I don't want to get on any more watch lists.

      1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

        "For your contribution, you get one unfuzed mini-nuke. Here's hoping you find the launcher for it, the average arm can't lob them far enough to escape the blast radius."

        1. some guy   12 years ago

          NFL quarterbacks will rule us all.

          1. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

            The safest place on Earth would be where Rex Grossman was trying to throw the nuke.

    2. Loki   12 years ago

      Holy shit, I almost spewed Coke out my nose (I'll leave it up to your imagination whether I'm refering to the carbonated soft drink or the narcotic). Thatwas hilarious. Both of them...

    3. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

      Anyone catch the "Paid for by Koch Industries" label at the end? I thought that was really unfortunate. Not that making fun of the Kochs is off limits, it's just that it had no reason to be there. It's like Second City was thinking "Wow, we really need to do something to show that Obama's really okay." It took away from the joke.

      1. Irish   12 years ago

        Yeah, it was unbelievably dumb. It's particularly dumb because I don't know that the Kochs have ever given money to a pro-war cause. Liberals apparently just think that the Kochs=bad, therefore anything the liberal is in favor of, the Koch brothers must be against.

        This also explains why liberals never seem to give the Kochs any credit for all the money they've given to gay rights causes.

        1. mr simple   12 years ago

          Or anti drug war donations or the money they've given to the arts, history and science, especially cancer research, that makes the amount they've given to political causes look insignificant.

  34. Tim   12 years ago

    We are not the world's policeman, but we have a moral obligation and special duty to act. This will be a limited strike but not a pinprick. I guess we're going to Syria, bust in the door and shoot their dog and leave.

    1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      "Wait, what do you mean this is Lebanon? Did we execute our no-knock on the wrong address again?"

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        LOL

        And hit the Chinese embassy while you're at it!

        1. Tim   12 years ago

          The Air Force has been suspended with pay pending an investigation. But it does appear that procedures were followed.

          1. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

            Ordnance was released. Collateral was damaged. HTH.

  35. Loki   12 years ago

    I heard about this on the radio this morning and thought it would fit in nicely with you bunch of degenerates*:

    Fake dominatrix lures submissives to her farm for "strict punishement" and then makes them do farm work in S&M fetish gear.

    Somehow I'm not surprised that this happened in Germany.

    *degenerates is intended as a compliment.

    1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      They asked for punishment, isn't hard labor a form thereof? I'd say they got exactly what they were looking for.

      1. Loki   12 years ago

        Actually that's why she wasn't arrested. She didn't specify in her ad what "punishment" meant. Therefore she technically didn't break any laws. They're the dumbasses who fell for it.

        And then it took them a week to finally figure out they'd been duped. You'd think they would have figured it out after maybe a couple of hours, tops. Fucking morons.

    2. John   12 years ago

      How is she a fake? I bet those guys got off on it. Everyone wins.

      1. tarran   12 years ago

        What's comical was that they were outraged when they discovered they were doing actual useful work rather than make-work to create a fantasy.

        If they hadn't been on a real farm, but on a fake one, doing make work, they probably would have stayed for weeks! 🙂

        BTW, now I can't get Spinal Tap's Sex Farm Woman out of my head!

        1. John   12 years ago

          If you can explain the mind of the male submissive, you are smarter than I am. Women submissives make a bit of sense. Women have this primordial need for a guy to find them so desirable they just take them and control them. Not saying every women does but I understand how some do.

          But male submissives totally mystify me. As a guy, you want to get laid. I could see maybe playing some silly game if it ended in you getting laid. But these guys don't want that. They want the silly game and then no sex at the end. It is really beyond me.

          1. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

            I once knew an XO who said "It's not that it takes all kinds, it's just that you get all kinds."

    3. db   12 years ago

      That is fucking hilarious. And how is she a "fake?"

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        They probably would have never brought charges if she'd been a stricter and more cruel boss.

      2. Loki   12 years ago

        "Fake" in the sense that the dupes thought they were going to get "punished" in other, more kinky ways.

        FWIW, I think she should have set up cameras and filmed these guys going around doing farm work in fetish gear. That would be hilarious to see.

    4. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

      Germans gotta be German.

    5. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Re-read the article. She's Austrian, not German.

      Austria is the country that has a village called Fucking. (The name rhymes with "cooking", by the way. I've been there. What the Snopes article doesn't mention is that those road signs are also notice that you've entered a built-up area, so things like lower speed limits apply. To let you know that you've left towns, signs have... the name of the town with a slash through it!)

      1. Tim   12 years ago

        So she speaks Austrian. How did she give orders to Germans?

      2. Loki   12 years ago

        You know who else was Austrian instead of German...

        1. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

          Franz Josef?

        2. Cascadian Ephor Xenocles   12 years ago

          Arnold?

        3. Cdr Lytton   12 years ago

          Gaston Glock?

    6. Ted S.   12 years ago

      Austrian Young Farmers' calendar

      There's both male and female versions.

  36. Alack   12 years ago

    "I just birthed a creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels"

    1. Elspeth Flashman   12 years ago

      You know who else birthed a creamy . . . ?

    2. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

      "Miley Cyrus Spanked a Twerking Little Person on German TV" is Now a Sentence That Accurately Depicts Real Events

  37. Longtorso, Johnny   12 years ago

    What Kind of Games Did Kids Play Back in the Day?!

  38. Swiss Servator - Gnome Slave   12 years ago

    "The Senate overwhelmingly approved the nomination to the Southern District Court of New York of an FBI lawyer who spent the better part of a decade overseeing the NSA's surveillance abuses."

    Well, we know who will be on the Star Chamber Court or whatever they are calling the NSA rubber stamp judicial body these days...

  39. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

    Hmm... I got an email from a headhunter for a job lead.

    Yes I hate my current job with the power of a thousand super novas, but I have a huge amount of freedom to come and go as I please. I'm afraid of losing that - it's been useful with my wife's new law practice & my son's school schedule - and my own laziness.

    I guess it won't hurt anything to find out...

    1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

      I try to have an interview on a quarterly basis, just to see what the market is doing. If nothing else, helps come salary re-negotiation time.

      1. John   12 years ago

        BTW, I am slowly figuring out how to skate on my inside edge. It is amazing how much easier things like C cuts are when you figure out to bend your ankle in and get on your inside edge. That is really more important than bending your knees. You can bend your knees all day but if you don't get on your edge, it is not going to work.

        1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

          getting that edge is everything. once you get good, it will help with speed and making quick turns. you'll see a lot of guys in novice juse the whole zone to turn the other direction.

          you have your own skates, right?

          once you get it down, just be careful if you even put on a pair of rentals again. I was on a vacation and went skating with my then 3 year old and about killed us both trying to make a cut on a blade with no edge.

          1. John   12 years ago

            I have my own skates. I have a set of Bauers. They are lower end. But they fit my feet better than the higher end ones. So that is what I bought.

            I need to buy a set of hip pads. At this point I need to get over my fear of falling, which having pads will help do.

            1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

              i'm sure they're great. no reason at all to over pay for equipment.

              I haven't been there yet, but a huge hockey superstore just opened in sterling. i typically buy online, but i already know my likes/dislikes.

              http://www.hockeygiant.com/hoc.....ginia.html

            2. The DerpRider   12 years ago

              If you get into it more and buy a pair of good skates, make sure you have them put a radius on them. It will help with turning or speed, your choice.

          2. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

            I couldn't skate to save my life, but I'm a big hockey fan. Apparently - at least according to the Don Cherry autobiography I read - Bobby Orr didn't tightly lace his skates - more ankle control?

            1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

              Despite growing up essentially in Canada, on a farm with a pond, I am awful at skating. I was actually in a place too rural to grow up playing hockey (at least without any brothers).

    2. John   12 years ago

      Are we living parallel lives Hummungus? Do we have some kind of cosmic connection that we don't now about?

    3. UnCivilServant   12 years ago

      I have a similar bind. I despise my job and all of the shit that comes with it, but pretty much the only way I can lose it is to leave on my own or commit a felony. (Thanks Andrew Cuomo for making me a felon in the middle of the night) Knowing exactly how much money I'll have is comforting, but doesn't make up for all of the BS.

    4. Drake   12 years ago

      I was in a job that was easy once I learned it, I could show up or work at home as I pleased and only really got busy from Nov thru Feb.

      That job ended a few months ago. I got myself a promotion and 10% raise. However, I'm always busy now, the raise barely pays for the gas to get to the office almost every day, I have to pay attention in meetings, etc...

      I miss my old routine.

      1. Lord Humungus   12 years ago

        I learned the routine of my jobs years ago - now I do some custom programming, a few new setups, but usually answer the same stupid questions over and over.

        Most of this "busy" work comes from one of our large plants that's located in a small town. Needless to say, the intelligence pool is quite small and the training time there for new employees is minimal.

        But hey, I can "work from home" several times a month, leave early and head off to run errands if need be. The last time I really worked a real 40hr week was uh? I'm afraid of going somewhere else and getting the (even more of a) jackass boss. Yes, I could be making more - I'm a touch under the national average for this type of work - but the freedom of minimal supervision means a lot to me.

        1. Drake   12 years ago

          Yep - enjoy.

  40. BiMonSciFiCon   12 years ago

    John, et al- http://www.cato-unbound.org/20.....ry-service

    From an actual Cato scholar.

    1. John   12 years ago

      I would hope they would repudiate that.

    2. Metazoan   12 years ago

      No, Cato unbound is a debate site. They invite people to disagree and then have a debate. That's the point. Look at the response...

  41. BelowTheRim   12 years ago

    Roommate just got the new NHL game. Played a lil last night.

    Not sure I like it but the fighting is much improved. Anyone else play it yet?

    1. Loki   12 years ago

      Not sure I like it but the fighting is much improved.

      Is it as good as Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2011?

    2. Brett L   12 years ago

      I hear there's a '94 throwback mode. My buddy and I used to get stoned and play the shit out of NHL 94 on the Sega Genesis. I wonder if we can play throwback modes remotely.

      The best part about the NHL franchise is that the Blues are always way better in the game than IRL.

  42. Hawk Spitui   12 years ago

    New hope for cosmotarians!

  43. Brett L   12 years ago

    Okay guys. This may be my last MLs as a single guy. I have my work review tomorrow morning in the 9-10am slot and then I get married Friday morning. So if I come back Tuesday and am totally changed, everyone will know why.

    Also, I am bummed to find out that the Portofino at Universal Studios cancelled their Dispicable Me character breakfast. I was totally looking forward to hanging out and talking shop with a minion.

    1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      Congrats, Brett

    2. RBS   12 years ago

      Good luck! Marriage really isn't all that bad. Most of the time. Although throwing a kid in the mix at beginning should make things interesting.

      1. Cdr Lytton   12 years ago

        Don't listen to RBS!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA

        Seriously though, congratulations!

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        I'm expecting this.

      3. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

        Have fun.

      4. Clich? Bandit   12 years ago

        Have fun.

    3. db   12 years ago

      At least promise to actually come back here. Don't abandon us like Dr. Groovus did.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        I will. I may be a sockpuppet of my wife, but I'll still come back.

    4. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Damn, the wedding's already here? Time flies. Congrats!

    5. DEG   12 years ago

      Good luck!

  44. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    From the comments here:

    Over time, society's views will change under the mounting reality of bodies piling up across the nation as the NRA and its supporters are permitted to have their way and impose their will on the majority of the American people. When their demonic world-view has been fully appreciated and a fully dystopian state of affairs is reached, when enough Sandy Hooks and shopping mall movie theater shootings have occurred, when they become everyday events, and after thousands of innocent people have been killed, the majority which has enabled the NRA to hijack the political process through ignorance, fear-mongering, and disinformation will declare enough is enough. A politically reinvigorated, more enlightened society will spearhead a revolution in values which will sweep the NRA and its apologists from power and restore some semblance of sanity and order to the issue of the place of lethal weapons in private hands.

    But don't try to pretend those noble common sense gun controllers are a bunch of unhinged hysterical fanatics.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Man, that's as bad as the butthurt at the Sons of Anarchy season premiere. Spoilers at link.

    2. John   12 years ago

      There is going to be some serious butt hurt over this. Some politicians lost their jobs over supporting gun control. Other politicians are going to notice this. The gun grabbers are devastated over this. All of those dead kids in Connecticut and they are not going to be able to get shit.

      It looks like they have let a crisis go to waste. tear!!

    3. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      I can't wait until every place in America is as safe from guns as the gun-free school zones!

  45. np   12 years ago

    Ok, who here just lost their job?

    Gawker gets the Business Insider CTO fired:
    http://valleywag.gawker.com/bu.....1281334551

    1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

      First rule of the internet: never use your real name

  46. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    I haven't watched Scooter Gang Hamlet for a couple of seasons. I tried to watch last night but there was far too much WTF? so I changed the channel after the Limey drowned the Persian pornographer in the vat of piss and dumped his body in the harbor in broad fucking daylight.

    Give me a fucking break.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      I quit when they didn't kill off Ron Perlman's character and/or Opie.

    2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      I think one of the greatest flaws in TV today is that producers and networks just can't seem to figure out that even successful shows sometimes have an inherent time limit on how long you can drag out a series before they become derivative or a parody of themselves.

      How I Met Your Mother, for example, has gone on about two-three seasons too long, but it's such a cash cow the network won't put the brakes on it. Contrast that with the Spartacus series on Starz, which was dumb fun but at least the producers knew well enough to end it after 3.5 seasons and not try to make it into "As The Third Servile War Turns."

      1. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        This is one more reason why I respect Vince Gilligan (Breaking Bad exec producer).

  47. Warty   12 years ago

    As a quasi-socialist lefty who believes in gun regulation and health care for all, it's been more than a little upsetting the past week to realize that I am rooting for the Tea Party to stymie my president and hand him a humiliating foreign-policy defeat.

    Delicious. I particularly like that he thinks the Tea Party is against health care because it's against government health care.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      You can't expect him to have read Bastiat!

    2. John   12 years ago

      And he objects to this for the right reason. Those tea baggers are just racist. God these people are pathetic.

      1. Zeb   12 years ago

        Yeah, the constant accusations of racism, with little or no evidence to support, is absolutely disgusting. You might as well just start calling your political opponents child molesters.

        1. Warty   12 years ago

          And I have never, ever, ever, done that. Quick, don't look at any court filings.

        2. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

          Why not do that?

          "Mr. So and So on MSNBC spoke up in favor of the President. However, some people wonder if his support is rooted in his sexual interest in kindergarteners."

          "We have Mr. Jones from NAMBLA here in the studios today to give us a progressive's viewpoint."

          etc.

    3. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

      Hey, I had Glenn Beck on in the car this morning (don't judge me), and he said that a majority of Americans were against healthcare. So maybe this guy is right.

  48. Endless Mike   12 years ago

    Sorry if somebody has already posted this , but has anyone read this commentary on the 9/11 anniversary? From Cracked, no less.

    1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      Pretty good rundown. If they really do hate us for our freedoms, the terrorists won the war on 9/11.

  49. wakeup   12 years ago

    Americans have learned in the past decade that our government lied to us about:

    Iraq weapons of mass destruction
    The case for war against Syria
    Its involvement in false flag terror in Iran in the 1950s
    Pervasive spying by the NSA
    Manipulation of the markets by big banks

    But do Americans think that the government lied about 9/11?
    38% of Americans have some doubts about the official account of 9/11, 10% do not believe it at all, and 12% are unsure about it;

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