State Will Have to Step in to Certify Detroit Mayoral Primary Results, Too

Same two candidates will face off in November regardless


hang that chad

Earlier this summer, Detroit became the largest US city yet to file for bankruptcy. The city's finances and management are subject to oversight by Kevyn Orr, a special emergency manager Michigan's governor appointed in March. Though some critics protested at the time that Orr's appointment meant a loss for democracy in Detroit, democracy slouches on.

From the Detroit Free Press:

A state election panel will have to decide who really won the Detroit mayoral primary after Wayne County election officials on Tuesday refused to certify shocking new election results, which would have invalidated about 20,000 votes and handed the primary win to Benny Napoleon instead of Mike Duggan.

The county board was debating whether to invalidate more than 20,000 write-in votes that were not recorded at polling locations using hash marks, which would cause the result of the Aug. 6 primary to be flipped — with Napoleon, the Wayne County sheriff, receiving more votes than write-in candidate Duggan.

Detroit's unofficial count shows Duggan in the lead while the Wayne County count shows Napoleon winning. The kicker: irrespective of which of the two results are correct, the same two candidates, Duggan and Napoleon, will face off in November.

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    1. FOE, you are really slacking.

      1. Who cares about non-links posts? Not this guy.

        1. The problem with links, is that they are typically posted when I am too busy working(AM), or too busy commuting from work(PM). This is why we need late night links.

          And I still vote for Lucy as hostess.

          Late Nite Links with Lucy.

          It just has that certain ring to it that a libertarian can appreciate.

          1. I agree, they should be posted about 9 or so. That way I can actually post since the baby is asleep and I’m not at work.

            1. Yes, 9PM EST would be perfect.

          2. How about instead of trying to get others to fix your problems for you, you quit your job?

            1. That’s a great idea, FOE. I’m glad you thought of that. Let me see what my wife thinks about it…

              1. Let me save you the trouble….

  1. Say, is there any chance the Muslim Brotherhood will win control of Detroit?

    1. A clever way to destroy them, bravo!

      1. Yes, in fact, why not give them Detroit in exchange for leaving Egypt?

        1. The Islamic Caliphate of the Lower Peninsula.

          1. Oh ones! That could lead to the Islamic Caliphate of the Yuppers!

            1. They’d still go to Windsor for whores and underage (well, any) drinking.

              1. Why, are the whores cheaper in Windsor?

                If so, it would be aboot the only thing cheaper in Canada than the U.S. except for RX drugs.

    2. That’s typically what happens when your government is so small it goes down someones bathtub drain.

      If only they could get some big government Democrats to come in and manage the place for a while…

      1. It is truly mind blowing hearing Mellitha Harrith Perry go on about that. Dems have been in control since what? 62? Coleman “blame whitey” Young has been there since 72/3?-how much more fucking time do they need for this shit to work? Why don’t repubs just say that? “You’ve been in control of that city for decades, how the fuck is this our fault?” There is a level of cognitive dissonance there that I really can’t wrap my head around. Unreal.

        1. Why don’t repubs just say that?

          Because Repubs are pussies.

          1. They are not known as the “Stupid Party” for nothing.

    3. Hamtramck, a city totally within the Detroit city limits, now has a very large Muslim population. It used to be largely Polish. Back when I was a kid some local TV commercials used to have a bit of spoken Polish.

  2. Detroit’s unofficial count shows Duggan in the lead while the Wayne County count shows Napoleon winning. The kicker: irrespective of which of the two results are correct, the same two candidates, Duggan and Napoleon, will face off in November.

    I’m sure Napoleon will just stage a coup later.

  3. I feel bad for the winner, whichever one it is.

  4. NR: Sorry, but this grabbed my attention:

    Fast food workers urged to strike

    Ok, so fast food workers are going to demand $15 an hour.

    Let me ask this question. Who is going to pay more for this shitty and unhealthy food? It’s mostly the people who work in these places that eat it. This is peak derptitude.

    It’s all good though, after they all lose their jobs, they can go home and get welfare, which pays more, for doing nothing. Then we can tax fast food to support more welfare recipients. So a McDonalds happy meal will now be $23.

    Nothing can go wrong here.

    Unintended consequences are only the hateful lies of anarchist libertarians.

    1. I thought they already had the strike like 2 weeks ago?

      1. It must not have worked.

        Time for strike 2.

        1. Probably no one noticed. I wonder what happens after strike 3?

          1. McDonalds and Burger King agree to all of their demands, lay off 80% of their workers, and shut down 60% of their locations.

            It’s a win/win.

            1. Ah yes, opening the door for Krystal to take over the country.

          2. Place your own order at the touchscreen. Fewer but more highly-paid and more efficient workers. Burger-flipping robots.

    2. $15 an hour for fast food workers just means your next visit to McDonald’s will see the process almost entirely automated.

      1. I almost supported the $15 minimum wage for this reason. Ultimately, though, I have to oppose it on principle.

      2. Did you see the new drink machines at Burger King?

        They’re pretty cool. Now it’s just one dispenser. You select your poison from a touch screen, press a button for ice, and another to pour. The old setup took a bit of time and effort to clean, plus the nozzles had to be soaked overnight and reassembled in the morning. This new machine will save tons of labor and be cleaner for the customer.

        1. They have those at Firehouse Subs, too. Pretty cool. My kids love them.

          1. Also Five Guys.

            1. And Hardee’s.

          2. I also like how it’s ice and drink all in one. I wonder if it contains its own ice maker. The old ice dispenser required a worker go to the ice machine out back, fill a bucket or two, and step onto a stool to pour it into the top. Pain in the ass. A built in ice machine would be a total labor saver.

            1. They should figure out a way to make the ice be frozen syrup so your drink doesn’t get watered down.

              1. Patent it! You could be rich!

        2. As soon as the meat in grown in lab containers and dispensed from vending machines, with your choice of condiments, I guess the $15 an hour will have served a good purpose.

        3. From those machines, one can pour the non-alcoholic nectar of the gods, cherry vanilla Coke Zero.

          1. That would be better if they add the alcohol.

            1. I hate to agree with you on something but I’ll just imagine we disagree on which alcohol to add and I’ll feel better.

              1. Which alcohol? I’ll take ethyl, thanks.

        4. Sounds like a vending machine from the 50’s.

          1. From the description, yeah. I’m trying to figure out what’s new about it. Maybe people have just forgotten those?and how the cup would sometimes come down the wrong way, causing liquid & ice to hit it on the side and splash onto your pants. (That was more fun than when the cup was just delayed, coming down behind the ice & drink.)

      3. $15 an hour for fast food workers just means your next visit to McDonald’s will see the process almost entirely automated.

        Good. No more fucking onions on my fucking cheeseburgers. Those human bastards ALWAYS get it wrong.

        1. You hate onions!?

          No wonder you’re the equivalent of a unicorn.

          1. Onions are the food of the devil in all forms, but most especially when they’re 1/2 cooked (as on a burger) and all limp and nasty.

            1. I tried one of those new steak and egg w/onion mcmuffins this morning. The onions were the best part. Mmmmm *drool* onions….

            2. How can you make fresh salsa, or chili, or many other things, without onions?

              Onions are essentials in my kitchen.

              1. It’s called food processing them into an unrecognizable paste, and using that sparingly. Or onion powder. Slices of limp, leathery, semi-cooked onion are just vile and add nothing to any dish, ever.

                1. Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook onions properly.

                  1. Cook them? It’s Vidalia season! You can eat those things like an apple!

                    1. You can eat those things like an apple!


                  2. Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook onions properly.

                    Yep. Every restaurant and every home cook whose meals I have eaten, ever.

                  3. Yeah, my wife uses them in some dishes like that, limp, but not leathery, and they are delicious.

                2. Onion powder?? LOL, not really a foodie, huh?

                  1. Foodie? Zod forbid. Jeebus.

              2. How can you make fresh salsa, or chili, or many other things, without onions?

                Exactly. Rough dice a couple tomatoes and an onion. Fine dice a couple jalapenos. Chop a handful of cilantro. Juice half a lime. Add a generous amount of garlic salt. Stir and enjoy! I like pico de gallo so much I named my corn snake Pico!

                1. I use tomato, white onion, bell pepper, jalapeno, cilantro, sea salt, lime juice, and just a touch of extra virgin olive oil, in my salsa. If you get the mix just right, it’s fantastic. Occasionally I will use tomatillo instead of bell pepper, and have used a little cucumber.

                  1. What’s also good is to take cored tomatoes, onions and jalapenos, bake until mostly cooked, trim off the stems and such and then pulse in the food processor with salt, lime and cilantro. Tomatillo can be used instead of tomato to make a green salsa. Yours is too American for my taste. I like Mexican Mexican, not Tex Mex.

                    1. What’s also good is to take cored tomatoes, onions and jalapenos, bake until mostly cooked

                      I never cook mine, at all.

            3. How do you make the orphans cooking your food cry without onions?

              1. I just have them chop the onions and throw them away.

                1. That’s beautiful.

                  1. It brings a tear to my eye.

                2. I just have them chop the onions and throw them away.

                  You have to let us in on the secret of how you manage your slaves with only onions. Onions are cheap and I live only for profits.

                  These buggy whips are expensive and they keep wearing out.

        2. Why were human bastards fucking the onions? And why were the cheeseburgers fucking? Gasp! Is that how they make the junior cheeseburgers?

    3. Aren’t fast food workers generally not unionized? And aren’t fast food restaurants used to dealing with rapid turnover? And isn’t unemployment still kind of high?

      I’m just saying…

      1. SEIU, baby!

        1. Are many fast food workers in the SEIU or is that just an area that the SEIU is looking to expand into?

          Doesn’t matter to me really. I live in a right to work state, so they can strike all they want. I’ll still get my Big Mac.

    4. Sure, great idea for mostly unskilled, entry-level work that is non-union. And if they succeed in driving up labor costs enough, look for massive automation. Yes, a teenaged kid may be replaceable.

      1. And after they’ve eliminated a good source of no-skill jobs, they’ll cry that since they can’t find work (due to market failure) they need subsidies.

    5. The protesters have the typical red commie flag signs.

      Also, who the fuck is dumb enough to lose their already shitty job over shit that’s not going to happen anyways?

    6. Unintended consequences are also racist, sexist and homophobic.

      The minimum wage thing really is magical thinking, it proves that no one views this shit through the lense of the employer: Just because the gov says your labour is worth X amount, that doesnt mean you have the experience or the skill set to produce that X amount, for low skilled workers that eventually costs their employer-i.e they get thrown out on their ass-BUT IT FEELS GOOD HYPERION!!! IT FEELS GOOD THEREFORE IT IS TRUE!

      1. I’m all in favor of these folks making $15 an hour, or more, as soon as they get off their lazy asses and acquire the skills that demand that level of wages. It may not be as easy of a fix as just demanding, pay me more! But it will actually work, as opposed to getting you unemployed.

      2. One funny thing is that the minimum wage was first promoted by progressives circa the ’20s for eugenics reasons: it would force (white) women back into the home to have more babies, and discourage employers from hiring blacks and the disabled, who would be less able to afford kids.

      3. “The minimum wage at this store is $15. Your maximum wage at this store is $0.”

      4. I will gladly take a minimum wage job at Taco Bell or McD’s or whatever right now while in school so I encourage these people to strike, and strike often. Let me earn some federal reserve notes before fast food places go full automation.

        I think I could parlay my .mil experience into some type of supervisory position but if not, you’re looking at one hell of a fry guy.

    7. I saw how you slipped that 23 in there.

  5. I’m sure one crook will be just as good as the other.

    1. It’s like voting on captain of the Titanic 2 hours after it hit the iceberg.

  6. Seriously, let’s just sell the city to OCP at this point. Delta City would be a welcome change from the blighted hellscape of contemporary Detroit. Also: Robocop!

    1. I’d buy that (the city) for a dollar, but I suspect I’d be overpaying.

      1. Considering the likely liabilities and back taxes I would have to agree.

  7. Students forced to kneel before school administrators

    This was a safety measure.

    Bend over their sonny, I need to make sure there’s nothing dangerous up your arse.

    I am almost speechless, but it’s Cali.

    1. I only kneel before Zod.

    2. Principal Dana Carter at Calimesa Elementary School had reportedly instituted the policy, which called for students at various times of the school day to kneel down on one knee and wait for the principal or another administrator to dismiss them, as a safety measure.

      OBEY! is a lesson best learned when young. If the children don’t learn to mindless OBEY! authority, they might grow up to think they are free, or worse, possess inalienable rights.


  8. So can the State just deincorporate Detroit?

    1. thats what I was thinking, turn it into British Hong Kong or something by giving it complete autonomy-see what happens.

      1. Some billionaire is trying to buy Belle Isle, but go the brush off.

        1. I thought Roger Penske already owned most of it?

      2. Look, the worst thing that could happen to Detroit is if crazed libertarian puppets of the Kochtopus go and buy it up and start doing this failed capitalism stuff. It would turn into Somalia!

        They would first tear up all of the roadz, and then tear down the bridges! Then turn the poor into slave laborers, that is the ones they don’t find useful and let die in the streets! And the wiminz folk and minorities? In chains!

        1. So the libertarians are already in charge…?

          1. The chick with tampons in her ears said so, so it must be true.

  9. in Detroit, democracy slouches on.

    To Gomorrah?

  10. Another win for democracy.

  11. my buddy’s mother makes $63 every hour on the computer. She has been fired from work for eight months but last month her payment was $17429 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site… http://WWW.CNN13.COM

    1. These ads intrigue me. The huge paycheck has gone up considerably since they started. If my math is right, his buddy’s mother worked 276 hours last month for that paycheck; or considerably more than full time. You’d think bots would be good with the math.

      1. That’s like 100 hours of overtime in a month.

        She must be working for libertarian slave masters! And for a measly 17k! And no health care! Somebody stop those Kochtopus monsters!

  12. I can’t even understand why anyone would even want to be mayor of Detroit. Isn’t that about the same as having a contest to see who wants to be captain of the Titanic as it is sinking?

    Of course, I can’t see why anyone would want to be President of the U.S., either. The way I see it, even wanting the job should disqualify a potential candidate.

    1. Because, surely there must be some goodies left that I can grab for me and my budz before the ship goes completely under.

  13. Thousands of dogs roam Detroit. I won’t be around for PM Links, so here you go.

    1. Hey, if this gets out, maybe all cops will just move there.

      1. Haha. I didn’t even think about the cop angle. Someone needs to research to see when the packs of dogs appeared vs. when the let the police start living outside of the city.

    2. You think that one day, it might be like Assateague Island, and the dogs like the Ponys?

      Maybe this is how Detroit will be resurrected. People will drive from all over to see the wild puppies!

      That is, if the other thing I wrote, about cops moving there, doesn’t happen first…

  14. If you follow this in some detail, it appears that the vote was thrown out because the folks doing the counting used digits instead of four vertical marks and a cross-line. So it’s not that the ballots were invalid–it’s that the counting wasn’t done right.
    The whole story is incredible. Duggan submitted way more than the right number of signatures on petitions to be on the ballot and some goofball (a ‘community activist’ who is also running) challenged the date when he submitted them (relative to when he moved to the city proper–he had lived in a suburb). The state supreme court upheld the challenge and threw him off the ballot. So he vowed to run as a write-in.
    Somebody else convinced a local barber named ‘Dugeon’ to run a write-in campaign too.
    But the shenanigans came to nought, and Duggan got twice what his opponent (Benny Napoleon, who’s actually not bad, and might make an acceptable mayor) got.
    So the shenanigans have begun again–somehow the ballot was invalidated because the counting procedures weren’t right. Not clear why, but now the State will run a recount. I’m sure Duggan will win handily, and he and Napoleon will compete in November.
    In other news, one of the other people on the ballot endorsed Duggan yesterday, and got her house broken into last night. Probably just a coincidence….:-)

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