Lawmakers Say They Were Denied NSA Info, No Gun-Free Zone for Obama, Egypt's VP Exits: P.M. Links


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  1. “Global warming” = the most picture perfect summer day I can remember in about the last ten years. Much more of this please!

    1. In that vein,

      Why Did Sea Level Drop in 2010?

      Explanations of climate change impacts seem to change changing daily. It’s almost like climate is some incredibly complex system that defies abstraction or something.

      1. When the ice melts in your glass doesn’t the water level fall?


        1. Not if you pound the measuring stick deeper the sand with every $1M grant.

      2. well, duh. Sea level dropped because of climate change, just as the same cause would been behind a rise. Climate change is always the right answer, no matter the question.

        1. I blame climate change

          1. I blame high capacity magazines.

            1. I blame yermom.

        2. Of course. I always loved the term “climate change denial.” Who denies that there is climate change? Nobody.

          “Gravity exists. The Earth is round. Climate change is happening.” No shit, asshole. Now tell me something useful.

          1. My term expires in 1254 days, hang in there.

            As an aside “days until Obama leaves office” and variations come up very quickly in autocomplete. Nobody is waiting for him to do anything anymore.

            1. Ack, run on sentence alert.

              Pretend that comma is a semicolon, so I won’t have to report to grammar nazi reeducation.

  2. If gun-free zones are good for school kids, they should be great for the president, say petitioners. No thanks, says the chief executive. He prefers to keep his armed protection.

    Some animals are more equal than others.

    1. We’ve finally discovered something more important than the chirrun.

      1. Parsing the bullshit:

        We live in a world where our elected leaders and representatives are subject to serious, persistent, and credible threats on a daily basis.

        Any more so than the threats of someone who lives in a rough part of town?

        Even those who are mere candidates in a national election become symbols of our country,

        Power-hungry egomania?

        which makes them potential targets for those seeking to do harm to the United States and its interests.

        So the sum of the United States is the people in government? Thanks for clearing that up.

        In 1901, after the third assassination of a sitting President,

        McKinley was killed by an AnSoc. Not material, but just thought I’d point that out.

        Congress mandated that the President receive full-time protection, and that law is still in effect today.

        Teddy Roosevelt SEIZED full-time protection without legislative approval. Congress did not pass any such legislation until 1906.

        Because of it, those who are the subject of ongoing threats must receive the necessary and appropriate protection.

        Only the President and TOP MEN are subject to ongoing threats to their persons. You peasants are perfectly safe because your pure hearts and love for Obama make you resistant to bullets.

        1. At the same time, all of us deserve to live in safer communities, which is why we need to take responsible, commonsense steps to reduce gun violence, even while respecting individual freedom.

          Maybe we can start by the government ceasing all of its weapons smuggling operations to Mexico, Libya, Syria, and who knows where else.

          And let’s be clear: President Obama believes that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to bear arms.

          I don’t doubt that he does believe so, which is why he will do everything in his power to circumvent the Second Amendment.

          But the common-sense steps the President has proposed don’t infringe in any way on our Second Amendment rights.

          It is an infringement on the right to vote if the government demands identification. It is not an infringement on the right to keep and bear arms if the government demands that you present identification, submit to a background check, submit to a mental health check, and wait for an arbitrary period.

          We ought to be able to keep weapons of war off the streets.

          But I thought the only way that Presidents and other TOP MEN could stay safe is if men with weapons of war accompanied them while on the streets. I am so confused right now.

          1. We ought to close the loopholes in the background check system that make it too easy for criminals and other dangerous people to buy guns ? an idea that has the support of 90 percent of people in the United States.

            Via a poll bought and paid for by Michael Bloomberg, who makes no secret of his desire to disarm the peasants.

            That’s why the President and an overwhelming majority of Americans are calling on Congress to pass gun safety legislation that closes loopholes in the background check system and makes gun trafficking a federal crime.

            Gun trafficking is a crime when you do it. When the government does it, they’re fighting the War on Drugs, combating terrorism, spreading democracy, [insert feeble bullshit excuse here].

            He is taking the steps available to him as President to strengthen the existing background check system,

            Could you background check the Syrians before you flood their streets with “weapons of war”?

            give law enforcement officials more tools to prevent gun violence, end the freeze on gun violence research, make schools safer, and improve access to mental health care.

            It’s open season on your medical records if you want a gun.

            No infringement on your rights there. No sir, none at all.

          2. It really fascinates me how partisan scum, especially leftist scum, can use words which have literally no meaning and act as though they do.

            “Common sense” is a bipartisan one though. The “common sense” security theater goes hand in hand with the “common sense” gun control laws.

            1. It’s the Emperor Has No Clothes gambit. Obviously if you can’t see Emperor Barry’s magic Robes of Common Sense, it must mean that you have no common sense.

            2. Didn’t Pelosi reach peak newspeak when she said Dems are bipartisan but Repubs aren’t?

              I don’t know how that can be topped.

            3. Cons some men
              Con omen mess
              Moms on scene
              Nonces memos
              Moss once men

  3. …Leon Rosby’s attorney sparred with the judge in the case and described officers as “little cockroaches.”

    Now that’s a lawyer.

    1. It’s Mark Geragos.

      1. He’s awesome. Local hero, really.

        1. I’m impressed that he said that. I won’t lie, I’d be too scared too unless it was my own life on the line.

  4. I believe somebody linked to her last week:…..ey-36-jpg/

  5. Public school districts around the country look to a new cost-cutting measure: Keeping as many employees as possible part-time to avoid Obamacare.

    Keep voting Democrat, assholes.

    1. I heard something about this on the radio today, only it was part-time professors at St. Pete College getting their hours hacked. One of the professors (a math professor) sounded in shock–“Didn’t know this would happen to me!” Yeah, sucks when these laws don’t just screw hoi polloi.

      1. The unfortunate thing is, such people will learn nothing from this. They’re that stupid.

        1. Well, at least they’re suffering. We have that.

      2. Yeah. They interviewed a bunch of people for an NBC news story that ran last night. The SPC President said it would cost them an additional $750k to continue 2012-2013 employment levels into 2014.

        My pops is in the administration there and one of the problems is that they have no clue what the IRS will consider “full-time” for adjunct professors, so they are cutting perhaps more than they need to in order to be compliant with the law as it may be interpreted. They asked the IRS for a ruling in February, by the way, about it and have received no communication in return.

        1. It amazes me that a law that’s likely going to single-handedly start another recession (which wouldn’t differ much than the “recovery”) isn’t getting repealed, right now, by both parties.

          This is total insanity.

          1. The politicians have achieved their most desired state: total insulation from the consequences of their actions. They won’t even be voted out for this disaster because of TEAM. They have won, and have become the aristocracy they always wanted to be.

            So, enjoy getting fucked.

            1. Douglas Adams, something something, wrong lizard might get in…

  6. She looks like Lady Gaga morphed with Steve Tyler, and then someone beat it with a club.

    1. That’s just how Steven Tyler looks now.

      1. He has bigger boobs for sure.

        Dude looks like a lady?

    2. A bag of smashed assholes?

    3. What’s wrong with your FACE?

      /Mr. Plinkett

      1. +1 pizza roll

      2. Nice.

    4. You know who she should have left that line of work to? Mary Louise Parker. Hachi machi!

    5. If she was good enough for Tom Sizemore, she is good enough for me.

  7. As Hawthorne, California, authorities continue targeting a man whose dog police very publicly shot, Leon Rosby’s attorney sparred with the judge in the case and described officers as “little cockroaches.”

    As true as that statement is, I don’t think the lawyer is doing that poor man any favors by antagonizing a gang of sociopaths.

  8. Ticked-off lawmakers say the House Intelligence Committee withheld information about NSA surveillance programs from members of Congress prior to a vote to extend the Patriot Act.

    And so they start turning on each other. This is a positive sign.

    1. Nah…it’s just another wacko bird making waves

  9. Surprise! Obama’s a massive narcissist.

    President Barack Obama privately derided the controversy over the blockbuster June 6 revelation of the National Security Agency’s far-reaching capabilities as “noise rather than something that’s real and meaningful,” said Education Secretary Arne Duncan.

    Instead of showcasing the president’s June 6 speech about a new plan to boost Internet use in schools, the major media in the United States and abroad were focused on Snowden’s claims that the NSA was copying huge quantities of private, commercial and criminal emails from around the world.

    How dare the media focus on something as unimportant as government surveillance of American citizens when there are more important things to discuss, like my dumbass plan to increase internet access in schools by raising cell phone fees?

    1. The separate taxpayer-funded military helicopter for his dog and his basketballs was kind of a clue.

    2. “the president’s June 6 speech about a new plan to boost Internet use in schools”

      Yeah, because kids don’t know how to use the internet these days.

      1. How else are we going to spy on all of them unless they ALL join in?

    3. Surprise! Obama’s a massive narcissist.

      Wow! Who would have guessed? Seriously, can you imagine if he actually were to realize he was just the right guy / right place / right time, rather than the massively talented person he thinks he is?

    4. by raising cell phone fees

      and then require the carriers to explain the increased fess as Surcharges are not taxes on you or amounts we are required to collect from you by law. Surcharges are other charges incurred to recover costs associated with governmental programs, and certain taxes imposed upon Sprint.

      1. I thought they wanted to increase Internet use by kids?

  10. James Pethokoukis demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of Austrian economics.

    “Rand Paul and President Obama. One a libertarian, the other a left-liberal progressive. But they apparently have at least one thing in common: a belief that markets are fragile things.”

    1. Rand Paul and President Obama. One a libertarian, the other a left-liberal progressive.

      I love the blanket description for Paul but the uber-nuanced political description for Obama.

      The left always insists on these stupid titles to identify incredibly similar shades of progressive dogma, but any non-progressive gets drawn with the biggest fucking brush they can get their hands on.

      1. At least he didn’t call Paul a far-right conservative libertarian. They like to do that one too.

        1. I’m sure the frist draft had something along the lines of “Baby-raping, puppy-kicking, inbred republican conservative extremist whacko nutjob.”

          1. +1 “Son of a…”

      2. I expect more conscious efforts by progressive-minded journalists to persuade the public that libertarianism is some monolithic objectivist cult.

      3. It’s an improvement over “Nietzchean Objectivist.”

      4. Oh, all sides often do that. It’s the ideological version of that famous Saul Steinberg New Yorker cover, in which everything west of NYC is vague and lumped together with imprecise labels.

  11. Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss tried a new business venture: Growing marijuana.


    1. She needed money and it was growing marijuana or making the Heidi Fleiss, Bob Filner, Anthony Weiner sex video ?

      The first one is a victimless crime, the second a crime against humanity.

    2. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi Ho.

    3. She hasn’t married her lesbian lover yet, so at least one more.

  12. Morrissey and Charlie Brown, together at last: This Charming Charlie

    1. That’s awesome. That Tumblr makes up for every horrible thing you’ve ever posted here, Sug.

      1. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Its still shilling Morrissey.

        1. I thought it was making fun of Morrissey. I assume I’m the only one here who likes Morrissey.

          Yeah, that’s right. I’m the worst.

          1. I like The Smiths, but am not much on his solo career. Like Westerberg, Morrissey needs to be saved from his own worst impulses.

            1. The Smiths are annoying as hell. Just like you.

              1. But they wrote good guitar riffs.

                1. But they wrote good guitar riffs


                  1. FALSE

                    Not worse than Hitler, but you’re gunning for the title.

              2. Tell me more about the Ace of Base box set you just bought, Episipunk. Did they include enough dance remixes of “The Sign” to suit you, tardgargler?

                1. He’s just upset that he didn’t get to be the last of the famous international playboys. Do you know his name? Oh, don’t say you don’t! Please, say you do!

                2. True story: I’ve kept up on Ace of Base. #noshame

                  1. True story: I’ve kept up on Ace of Base. #noshame

                    LIKES THIS. Swedish pop is awesome. You just let these haters go on hating, NLK.

                3. It wasn’t Ace of Base, you fucking blithering idiot. It was Abba. DUMBASS.

                  1. Abba? Abba, Swedish? I knew then when they were a Lancashire clog dancing trio!

                4. Tell me more about the Ace of Base box set you just bought, Episipunk. Did they include enough dance remixes of “The Sign” to suit you, tardgargler?

                  I would’ve preferred a few more, but I understand that they’re limited by space.

            2. I am the son
              I am the heir
              of nothing in particular


              1. Spending warm summer days indoors
                Writing frightening verse
                To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg


            3. “How Soon is Now” was the first of their songs I ever heard on college radio, and I liked it a lot, but then they just never got any better.

            4. “Every Day Is Like Sunday” is a great song. Ace of Base never got quite that good, but “Beautiful Life,” “C’est La Vie,” and “Everytime it Rains” are very good.

          2. I like Morrissey, both Smiths and solo, so you’re not the only one, Nikki.

            I was surprised that given the title of the comic, there’s no “I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear”.

        2. Shut up and let the lady talk!

    2. I do say, good show old chap, good show!

    3. Chuck’s girlfriend is in a coma? I hope it’s not serious.

      1. Bye, bye, bye bye, bye bye, Patty, goodbye!

        1. No the doctor Lucy’s not in
          No the doctor Lucy’s not in
          No, I don’t think she’ll see you.

    1. That’s just rumor and hearsay. They don’t actually do that.

  13. Bradley Manning, convicted for releasing embarrassing U.S. government secrets to Wikileaks, may break his silence and speak at his sentencing hearing.

    “My lords and ladies, where do I begin? You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stile her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I closed my eyes, but I could still see her tits bouncing. When I was 10, I stuffed my uncle’s boots with goat sh*t. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was 12 I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald men cry into the turtle stew, which I believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”

    1. What is that from, Harry Potter?

      1. Lord of the Rings, you illiterate oaf.

        1. Sorry – I get my overly-long and ridiculous fantastical medieval fantasies confused sometimes.

          1. I get my overly-long and ridiculous fantastical medieval fantasies confused sometimes.

            Maybe just stick with the New Testament next time.

            1. “Jesus wept.”

      2. Game of Thrones.

    2. If discussions of the Manning case weren’t already tedious enough, we’ll probably now have the pronoun police inserting themselves into every discussion about him–uh, her. Uh, I mean, the PFC.…..tory01.htm

      1. ugh. wtf?

    3. Manning should have demanded a trial by combat. I wonder who Obama’s champion would have been…

      1. Rahm Emanuel.

      2. I think it would have ended like Gladiator.

        1. Are you not entertained?

          1. Was it on Pay Per View?

      3. “Manning should have demanded a trial by combat. I wonder who Obama’s champion would have been…”

        The Mountain, of course. Or, worse case, the Hound.

        1. And by the Mountain, I mean Diane Feinstein.

        2. Then all Manning has to do is pick the Red Viper or, uh, fire to be his champion and he’s set. He just needs to tell Prince Oberyn to not get too cocky.

      4. He fights with no honor!

    4. is that Churchill?

    5. Ah, why should wrath be mute and fury dumb? I am no baby, I that with base prayers I should repent the evils I have done. Ten thousand worse than ever yet I did Would I perform if I might have my will. If one good deed in all my life I did I do repent it from my very soul

    6. Isn’t that the confession Chunk made in The Goonies?

  14. Blunder at the Money Factory

    From the article:
    the Fed is returning more than thirty million hundred-dollar notes and demanding its money back

    So, they want the paper money back that they used to pay for the paper money? Remind me, what exactly is a dollar?

    1. Don’t worry, I bet that the State Department or Pentagon will find some warlord or Egyptian Generals or Syrian Islamists somewhere who will take pallet loads of $100 bills.

    1. Bullshit, I see dildos on C-Span all the damn time.

      1. No need to insult a perfectly good product by associating it with elected officials.

    2. Another example of the War on Women.

    3. Not true. There’s a dildo preserve in eastern Newfoundland.

  15. Not sure if this was linked here: 26 years of growth – Shanghai then and now

    Don’t read the comments. Filthy capitalists, ruining the earth! Don’t we realize capitalism is going to fail any day now?

    1. affr Jshnayer
      ?6 days ago

      Not sure if your being sarcastic or not. Capitalism is the cancer of the earth.

      Humans regard themselves much to highly while forgetting the fundamentals that sustains life as we know it on this planet.

      1. Not sure if your being sarcastic or not. Capitalism is the cancer of the earth.

        We are like germs forever infecting the Earth Mother.


      2. Wild guess: that river is a lot cleaner today than 26 years ago.

        It is China, so that’s a dangerous gamble on my part, but I’d bet a few dollars on it being true.

    2. They were much better off on their collective farms under the stewardship of Chairman Mao.

    1. Helps if you tie a little weight to the end before you swallow it, otherwise the floss just kind of balls up in your stomach.

      Oh, wait, not that deep a floss job?

      Never mind.

    2. They are talking about British mouths, right?

  16. Talk about anything but the obvious.

    Elizabeth tracked thousands of people from 1981 until 2009 and found that married men did 25% more work around the house if they worked in a traditionally feminine field like nursing or teaching or rom com protagonisting. Married women, on the other hand, did less housework if they worked in traditionally “masculine” jobs. Single people did the same thing regardless of their gender or working environment ? came home and took their pants off and drank until they cried themselves to sleep.

    But what’s most interesting about McClintock’s research isn’t that men who work around women tend to be less-jerky about housework, it’s McClintock’s suspected reasons for the uptick in helpfulness. She reasons that they’re already working debasing feminine jobs, so where is the all-important MAN FEELING coming from if not their paycheck? Why would they follow up a hard day ladying around by subjecting themselves to the indignity of doing what women have been expected to do since forever? To keep their wives from leaving them! Men, McClintock surmises (and I’m paraphrasing here), may feel emasculated by their lady jobs and less valuable as partners because they’re not providing for their families in the manliest way possible (Dick Factory foreman) and so when they come home, they do more housework so their wives don’t divorce them.

    1. While the research is fascinating, McClintock’s conclusions seem a little… off. First of all, she found that women who work in more feminine fields also tend to do more housework, so we can’t attribute men’s sudden surge in helpfulness to their egos feeling hurty. Something else must be at play.

      I’ve got a better idea: maybe increased vacuuming and dish washing and toilet bleaching from men isn’t a product of damaged ego, but increased empathy. It seems more like men who spend the day around women might be more inclined to help out around the house because they ostensibly spend the day talking to women about things they may not talk about with their wives. They hear their housework frustrations and minor marital complaints. Oh yeah! Women ? people! Just like men!

      Can you spot the obvious answer that they’re avoiding at all costs?

      1. That the types of men who take whatever kinds of jobs these are are just more likely to be up for cleaning the house, and the types of women who take the “man jobs” are…the types of women who would just be less likely to be up for cleaning the house?

        1. Could be. My guess: “man jobs” require longer hours and “lady jobs” (in jezebel-speak) require fewer hours or are generally less exhausting, thus leaving more energy at the end of the day.

          Also, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than the writing style that is apparently mandatory on Jezebel. It’s unbearable.

          1. +1 occam’s razor

          2. Also, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than the writing style that is apparently mandatory on Jezebel. It’s unbearable.

            nicole, as the title-holder for The Worst, how do you feel about this up-and-coming contender? She’s got moxie I tells ya.

            1. You can’t try so hard to be the worst. What I have comes naturally.

              1. Hey, that’s not what your correspondence course implied. You said I could learn to be the worst, too! I demand my money back!

          3. Also, there is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than the writing style that is apparently mandatory on Jezebel. It’s unbearable.

            This is true of all feminist writers, including those not at Jezebel. Amanda Marcotte is the worst professional writer that I have ever seen. Reading her work is like gazing into the mind of Cthulhu.

            There are some things man was not meant to know.

            1. Marcotte is interesting in her awful writing style. As I said below, speaking to an echo chamber causes some of this, but I think Marcotte is a special case in that whoever hired her at Slate probably thinks her twisted, incomprehensible prose is stylish or sophisticated or something. You know, the old “I can’t understand it, so it must be above my head and therefore brilliant!”

              The bien pensant do this again and again and again. It is their way.

            2. I don’t read a lot of Marcotte other than what gets posted here. I agree she is incomprehensible, but (and I may be wrong about this) I don’t think she’s infected with the “hey-look-how-funny-I-am” condescension of Jezebel. “Oh yeah! Women ? people! Just like men!”

              1. I agree she is incomprehensible, but (and I may be wrong about this) I don’t think she’s infected with the “hey-look-how-funny-I-am” condescension of Jezebel. “Oh yeah! Women ? people! Just like men!”

                I agree with your point about Jezebel’s bizarre sense of humor, but there are Marcotte sentences that I simply can’t understand.

                Look at this:

                The most amusing part of this Jezebel post asking what makes a feminist rock star has got to be the link to Tim Cavanaugh sniffily mansplaining to the women writing about women in music that their work is very cute, if missing a critical economic analysis that supposedly is the master mover of all musical trends, a theory that requires him to pretend America as a whole embraced bands like Huggy Bear and Excuse 17 that worked in a boom time.

                This is among the worst written sentences I have ever seen.

                1. It’s simple, Irish; Marcotte is a prophet of Nyarlathotep.

                  1. It’s simple, Irish; Marcotte is a prophet of Nyarlathotep.

                    Nyarlathotep has higher standards than Marcotte.

                2. You win. That is truly terrible.

                3. It needs several periods, and a point.

                  1. It needs several periods

                    That’s straight up sexist, yo.

                4. Jeebus. Even with the several extra periods it needs, that doesn’t make sense.

            3. And yet here is SugarFree, spreading…knowledge.

              That which is seen cannot be unseen, though you pluck out your eyes!

        2. Close, and more plausible, but I think there’s a better explanation. It’s the same explanation that holds when they ask “why are traditionally feminine jobs so undervalued”? The answer is they’re not. They’re, by and large, easier jobs. That’s why women do less housework when they take “masculine” jobs, and why men do more when they have “feminine” jobs. Simple a mater of mental and/or physical exhaustion.

          1. Good spot.

          2. Yeah, I don’t really buy that, but it could be that I’m just not thinking of the right kinds of jobs. When I think of these pink-collar jobs, so many of them keep you on your feet all day: waiting tables, nursing, retail sales, etc. I definitely realize there is mental exhausting in the things they are probably counting as “man work,” but I kind of doubt that a nurse is less tired at the end of the day than I am and that’s why she is more up for doing the dishes or something.

            1. but I kind of doubt that a nurse is less tired at the end of the day than I am and that’s why she is more up for doing the dishes or something.

              Long shift work. Days off at a time.

              And being on your feet isn’t really that exhausting, as things go. I work at a desk and voluntarily spend most of my time on my feet. I often feel more energetic at the end of the day if I’ve been standing for most of it. I can’t be the only one.

              1. Yeah, I mean, I have zero experience with non-desk jobs, so I really don’t know. But I know that for me, sitting quietly and thinking is a lot easier than either being on my feet a lot or, much worse, talking to lots of people/customers/patients/whatever. I think if I worked retail I would have to go home at night and sit in the dark and not talk for five hours before I recovered from a shift. I know that for me, super introvert, it would not be easier to have a “lady job.”

                1. This, more or less. I work in a job stuffing stacks of cash into bags (absolutely not exaggerating or eliding here); a previous job had me working commercial framing and drywall full-time, and before that I worked as a teller. Of the three, framing left me less fatigued and generally livelier after getting off work. My current cash-shoveling job is so low-impact that I manage several hours a night between class and homework with little fatigue. However, my years as a teller were absolutely crushing. I’ll go back to pushing wheelbarrows of busted concrete around before working on the front line and dealing with several dozen people face-to-face.

                  1. There are also standards of what really needs to be done. People in traditionally female jobs are often “organizer” types. Think teachers, nurses, secretaries, customer service reps. People in the male type jobs, like construction worker, stockbroker, body shop owner, don’t even notice the kitchen floor is dirty until things start crunching underfoot.

          3. A lot of this is surely self-selection bias. Women who want their husbands to do more housework generally marry men who are willing to do more housework. Women who want a more traditional role around the house generally marry “manly” men who can’t even identify a toilet brush.

            1. and then those of us who hire maids.

              1. Yeah, I’m surprised this isn’t a more common feature of modern monogamy. Granted, labor policies here in the U.S. make it prohibitive for many families, but the complaints from two-earner working-class families about household chores being a major source of domestic friction seems absurd. Two working parent household is a scenario screaming for further division of labor.

      2. That was written like absolute shit. I have no idea what was put in and what was left out.

        Honest to God, I’ve never in my life, known a male English teacher. From late elementary to college, my female classmates were generally ahead of the boys in writing and composition. So why is it with 100% certainty that feminist bloggers suck dick at writing?

        1. Because like any echo chamber with no editors, they receive no negative feedback or criticism. Their worst writing impulses go unchecked, and again, like any echo chamber, they all start sounding alike because they literally think alike.

          Plus, being collectivist retards, they aren’t too bright to begin with.

          1. While none of that helps, the real problem is that no one has ever actually attempted to write about any of this stuff in plain English. The indoctrination starts with reading people like Judith fucking Butler; why would we expect the next generation to expound the message clearly when they never learned it clearly?

            Of course, the fact that much of it collapses in on itself in plain English doesn’t help either.

            1. That was a terribly formed paragraph, nicole. Are you a feminist?

              1. Especially that pretentious semi-colon.

                “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.” – Kurt Vonnegut

                1. “Fuck me? Hey Kurt, do you read lips? FUCK YOU!”

                  (hangs up)

                2. I don’t understand what people have against semicolons. It’s like being mindlessly against “passive voice” while simultaneously being unable to correctly identify it. (Search Language Log for examples. They are legion.)

                  1. I agree. A semicolon is a way to express a pause. It is a very specific way to express a pause that you can’t do any other way. Why wouldn’t you use it?

                    1. Also, semicolons greatly clarify lists with clauses in them.

                    2. Liking semicolons is analogous to liking Kerry Underwood, ranch houses, and carpet in your living room. Duh.

                3. I was usin’ semi-colons before I went to college, you dead schmuck.

          2. It’s also because feminists fall into the worst sort of left-wing tendencies when it comes to the types of writing and arguments that they like. Feminists love two types of article:

            1. A ‘brave’ article in which a woman bares her soul about how hard it was growing up. It could have been hard because she was fat and boys never looked at her or it could have been hard because she wasn’t fat and boys looked at her too much. It could be anything. These articles tend to be written in a metaphor heavy way that is borderline incomprehensible because they won’t stop mixing metaphors.

            2. Angry articles where they just yell and use words like ‘fuck’ and ‘jackass’ a lot.

            You’ll notice that both of these types of article privilege anger and the emotion of the writer over comprehensibility, craft and logic. They like feeling that the writer has bared her soul, but baring your soul tends to result in bad writing. You need to be willing to step back and examine your article to see if it’s any good, but if a feminist did that her article wouldn’t be ‘raw’ in the way that feminists prefer.

            1. I despise 2.

              I might actually get something out of Jezebel if the authors wrote to persuade rather than to emote/rally the troops. But they don’t.

            2. You forgot the third type: incredibly unfunny rants full of ALL CAPS and italics that they all claim to be HILARIOUS when actually it’s just the same turd coming out of a different butthole.

        2. About 1/3 of the English Teachers at my high school were men and 2 of my friends in college were aspiring male English teachers. Anecdotal, but they are out there.

          1. Ditto – I knew several in Middle School/HighSchool…and actually ALL of the English courses I took in college were make Profs.

  17. John Kerry has a sad that the internet makes it harder to spread the revolutionary truth.

    “Well, folks,” he said, “ever since the end of the Cold War, forces have been unleashed that were tamped down for centuries by dictators, and that was complicated further by this little thing called the internet and the ability of people everywhere to communicate instantaneously and to have more information coming at them in one day than most people can process in months or a year.

    It makes it much harder to govern, makes it much harder to organize people, much harder to find the common interest

    I think the problems really began when they allowed the peasants to learn how to read.

    1. That was a deft shift from talking about dictators to talking about himself. Almost too deft…

      1. That’s because there wasn’t any shift.

    2. +1 Council of Valencia

      1. Alternate views of the Council of Valencia:

    3. Yes, it’s MUCH harder to find the common interest when technologies that allow the common folk to communicate among themselves and to the ruling class better than ever before exist. What an ass.

      1. Well, actually he’s right about that.

        The thing is, there really *isn’t a ‘common interest’ among all the people in the country. That’s something we’ve found out from the internet. We’re *not* a collective and when you make policy the people left at the margins by that policy can make their voice heard – in the past they could have been ignored, being cut off and isolated from each other.

        Unfortunately Kerry and the others like him refuse to accept that America is *not* a collective. So instead of trying to keep policy as light and general as possible these guys, premised on the false idea of ‘common interest’, keep trying to make policy at the smallest level of detail.

    4. Is he really complaining about people being able to communicate?

  18. Florida Woman, as bad a supervillain as Florida Man, arrested for line jumping and stabbing someone in the but-tox

    Then shit got real. The police were on their way, and Abukhder, failing to snag Simmons’s keys from her in the hopes of keeping her at the scene, instead received a sharp stabbing in his butt from the hangry woman. That’s right. She butt-stabbed him. How she still remained at the scene by the time the cops arrived, however, we do not know. She had her chance to escape, but, alas, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon as well as criminal mischief with property damage.

    1. The best part of getting stabbed in the but-tox is the ice cream.

      /Abukhder Gump

  19. Ogala Sioux approves the sale of beer on reservation, ending 124 year old prohibition

    Alcohol has been a huge problem on the reservation, and Brewer said he doesn’t think legalizing it is the answer to the problem.

    Pine Ridge is the last South Dakota reservation where alcohol is illegal, according to The Associated Press. It’s unclear how many reservations nationwide are still dry.

    Dillon, one of nine tribal council members to vote in favor of the special election, said alcohol already was on the reservation despite the ban. For him, the vote gave the tribe a chance to earn some revenue to pay for both a detoxification facility and a treatment center on the reservation.

    “I think we should start a detoxification facility,” Dillon said. “To me, that would be a dream come true.”

  20. The View, not having enough advocates for the death of poor people, goes out and gets an advocate for children dying of preventable diseases.

    McCarthy, 40 — who most recently hosted VH1’s late-night chat fest The Jenny McCarthy Show — looks right at home at the table. She and her new colleagues Shepherd, 46, and Walters, 83, wear big smiles in the picture, while Goldberg, 57, sports a more serious expression.

    1. Still drinking the Koch/Corporashunz/Pharma/Reason koolaid I see.

  21. Would this ridiculous fact-free article exist in a major blog if the race were any but white?

    White People Think College Admissions Should Be Based on Test Scores, Except When They Learn Asians Score Better Than Whites

    1. Yglesias is such a sad little moron.

    2. If there’s one thing worse than Slate‘s spectacular decline, it’s NPR’s apparently conscious effort to emulate its style. Besides, Gawker headlines belong on Gawker proper (where the assertions are usually well-attributed, BTW).

      Separately, I still find it amusing that all those people who dare to legitimize the Bell Curve also fail to realize that the book’s own data show Asians to perform better than whites.

      1. Separately, I still find it amusing that all those people who dare to legitimize the Bell Curve also fail to realize that the book’s own data show Asians to perform better than whites.

        They do?

    3. You fucker. At least say it’s an Yglesias article. Can’t believe I gave that asshole a click.

    4. King of the Hill mocked my school’s rumored extra difficulty of admission for Asian students. I know that it is actually true at the earliest levels of processing applications, Asians get a penalty relative to whites. Of course if you couldn’t even get past the earliest level you likely weren’t making it in anyways.

  22. There was a Fark thread earlier today about Doctors Without Borders leaving Somalia.

    Anyone want to guess the type of comments in that thread? Anyone?

    1. I don’t need the nightmares.

    2. But but but ROADS!!!

    3. If they are doctors without borders, how would they know they actually left?

      1. Customs and Border Protection says so?

    4. Its funny, when Somalia was an anarchy things weren’t great but they were survivable. Now that they have a government, NGO’s are leaving because its not safe.

    5. Don’t you love it when a socialist state filled with Muslims fails, and the result is supposed to be the fault of libertarianism?

  23. Now for something completely different – two kittens asleep in each others’ arms!

    Oh, and another abortion clinic – in Va – summons an ambulance to take a patient to the hospital, while a cop tries to block the cameraperson’s view of the incident. (Shockingly, the clinic by coincidence has a regulatory history of horrible conditions for women patients, not that this should interfere with the narrative of the Va legislature harming Women’s Rights (TM) with its insistence that abortion clinics meet basic safety standards):

    “A woman was transported by ambulance from the Falls Church Healthcare abortion clinic in Falls Church, Virginia, on June 27, 2013. Local activists caught the incident on video and obtained the 911 Computer Aided Dispatch (CAD) transcript, which noted that a 24-year old woman was suffering from hyperventilation following anesthesia.”…..ion-clinic

    1. I don’t care where a patient is coming from/to, people crowding around with cameras while you’re on a gurney being loaded into an ambulance is a violation of privacy. Not an illegal one, but it’s not very civil.

      Yes yes yes, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FETUS’S RIGHT TO LIFE? Well, what if the female on a gurney was a 14-year-old who had been dragged in there by her rapist stepfather who had threatened her and said abortion or else? I keep hearing that women are also victims of disinformation and exploitation in all this. (If you’re not one of the people saying that, never mind.)

      1. Eh, one of the main thrusts of the pro-abortion argument is that abortion clincs prevent the major issues that would result from black market abortions. If they’re going to make that argument, then it is no surprising at all that the anti-abortion people are going to attempt to find counterexamples.

        1. True. But that needn’t include sticking a camera in the face of a patient “suffering from hyperventilation following anesthesia” on a gurney. It’s entirely proper for the police and others to block the shot.

          1. The camerman is not blocking the ambulance or the EMS people. He is simply filming. It is never proper for police to block a camera which is not in the way of legitimate safety or law enforcement operations.

            Now, if the clinic workers wish to form a shield for purposes of privacy, or if they would like to request the trespasser removed from the property, or if the patient would like to bring a civil suit, that is all fine.

            But the cops cannot block a journalist for practicing journalism.

            1. “if the clinic workers wish to form a shield for purposes of privacy”

              Perhaps they should have formed a shield for the purpose of not sending the woman to the hospital in the first place.

              Yet the media will regurgitate the narrative that the abortionists care so deeply for the welfare of their patients.

              1. “Perhaps they should have formed a shield for the purpose of not sending the woman to the hospital in the first place.”


                And that’s where a certain amount of pretense in this discussion is shed.

                1. “And that’s where a certain amount of pretense in this discussion is shed.”

                  Yes, because until now I have so carefully sought to conceal my hidden prolife agenda.

            2. I just watched, and the cops weren’t blocking the journalists. They ASKED the people with the cameras to not film to protect the patient’s privacy.

              And the journalist said “But we’re curious.”

              1. The cop placed his body in front of the camera. Just like he would do to protect the privacy of a criminal suspect who hadn’t been convicted of anything.

                1. Then he seemed to back off a bit, but he was still an armed govt official asking “why are you still filming,” and other questions which he would certainly ask about a CNN reporter taking pictures of Britney Spears.

                  1. In what other context would a H&R commenter say, “but that nice armed man in uniform was simply making *requests!*”

                    1. Except there was no “armed man”, dumbass.

                    2. OK, may have been unarmed EMS, my bad. I was confused by the cop-like uniform. I suppose a real cop would have just grabbed the camera and charged them with obstruction. Sorry for any confusion.

                      EMS are always telling news crews to stop photographing accident scenes.

                    3. And EMS needs to work on preventing cops from giving out medical information:

                      “A Saturday evening crash sent four people ? including a father and son ? to the hospital with injuries after two vehicles collided twice at the intersection of Sharon Station Road and county Route 524….

                      “[story gives name and age], of Allentown, suffered a fractured neck, multiple fractured ribs and multiple lacerations to his head, legs and left arm, *according to State Police Sgt. Adam Grossman* on Monday.

                      “His son [name and age given], of Allentown was the passenger in the car and suffered fractures to both wrists, *Sgt. Grossman said.*

                      “The driver of the other SUV, [name and age given], complained of neck, back and foot pain, *Sgt. Grossman reported.*

                      “[name and age given], of Plainsboro, who was the passenger in the second vehicle, complained of chest pain, *police said.*

                      “”All the victims were transported to Helene Fuld (Capital Health Regional Medical Center) in Trenton,” *Sgt. Grossman said.*”

                      [emphasis added]

                      But this was a car accident, not an abortion accident, so it’s OK for authorities to give out medical information in such cases.


                    4. But this was a car accident, not an abortion accident, so it’s OK for authorities to give out medical information in such cases.

                      When did cops ever give out patient info when a patient was being transferred from Facility A to Facility B for further treatment, even if it was because the treatment at Facility A was substandard?

                      If your wife was having a hysterectomy or mastectomy or tonsillectomy at Facility A and something went wrong and she had to be med-evac’d to Facility B, cops had better as hell well not give out her name and age, eh?

                    5. I’ve given a case where cops gave out medical information – I didn’t say I was OK with it or would like a police spokesman describing a loved one’s injuries from a car crash. Just that they do it.

                      Another thing govt tends to do is make 911 calls public. So, yes, the fact of a loved one’s medical emergency may well be publicized whether I like it or not, if the emergency reflects has broader public-policy implications.

                      This 2012 report gives an overview – it seems only a minority of states restrict the release of 911 calls.


                    6. Some states will redact names and addresses, a handful of states won’t release anything. But as a news-listener can confirm, these calls get out in public a lot.

      2. “what if the female on a gurney was a 14-year-old who had been dragged in there by her rapist stepfather who had threatened her and said abortion or else? I keep hearing that women are also victims of disinformation and exploitation in all this. (If you’re not one of the people saying that, never mind.)”

        Are you one of the people saying girls in this position are *not* victims of exploitation and disinformation?

        1. Do you recall how the cops blocked the media from photographing Britney Spears when she was sent to the hospital for mental-health reasons? Wait, no, they *didn’t* block the shot because it wasn’t as if Spears was in a situation which implicated her medical privacy or anything. Anyway, Britney Spears’ career was an urgent public issue requiring detailed coverage by the media, unlike local crimes stories like women being injured in abortion.

          1. And you now how the cops take such care to protect the privacy of criminal suspects whom they march into prison or into court? I mean, they rush up to block those shots so nobody can violate the privacy of these presumed-innocent defendants. And they never put up anyone’s booking photo for republication by the media, either.

            1. Are we talking about criminal suspects or criminal victims? It seems to me you’re switching sides pretty fast here.

              1. I was talking about suspects, but victims works too – how often do cops try to stop the media from photographing crime victims?

                1. I mean in the case of abortion. You’re saying these women on gurneys need to be photographed because they’re victims of medical malpractice. But now you’ve turned them into perps? Sorry, but not in the eyes of the law.

                  1. I mentioned criminal suspects [not perps because they’re presumed innocent] *and crime victims.*

                    I could also mention accident victims, as indicated by the story I just linked when authorities gave information about the victims’ injuries, and the name of the hospital where they were treated.

          2. That shot was taken from a news chopper. Cops can’t block that. I wonder if they asked any photographers on the street to please step back.

            Anyway who here is arguing that Britney Spears news takes precedence over a crime report? But is this a crime watch? Things happen in surgery.

            1. Britney Spears was in a medical situation – and she wasn’t even trying to kill her child, she’d just flipped out and was being taken for mental treatment.

              Yes, I’m sure the prolife demonstrators could have rented a helicopter to photograph the clinic and the police wouldn’t have complained at all!

              1. That’s really a bit silly.

                Look, if journalists blotted out the women’s faces before posting the footage, I’m fine with it. I also would expect the cops to ask for her privacy since they can’t know what’s going to become of the footage. For all they know it might be computer-enhanced, and put all over Facebook with her name and contact info.

                1. (As I said, the uniformed guy looked like a cop but on looking again, it may have been EMS in a cop-looking uniform.)

                  And the guy didn’t say, “if you broadcast this, be sure to blur the patient’s face.” He said don’t film and “why are you still filming.”

                  And 911 calls are generally public records, too.

                2. “For all they know it might be computer-enhanced, and put all over Facebook with her name and contact info.”

                  I’ve heard of cases where prolife groups publicize the cases of adult women who *died* from botched abortions, but I haven’t heard about them giving out such women’s contact info.

                  I certainly never heard about prolifers publicizing the names of rape victims. There are cases where their operatives *pose* as statutory rape victims in order to catch the abortionists on tape trying to illegally cover up what they believe to be a crime.

                  1. Who cares what you’ve heard? How does the cop or EMT know what the journalists are planning, especially in this skeevy internet age where decency is a cuss word? There are “curious” people filming a patient being loaded from a gurney to an ambulance and he’s asking them to desist for the sake of her privacy.

                    1. Yeah, it’s quite a mystery why people outside an abortion clinic would be filming what goes on there. It could be any random curiosity-seeker! (Maybe the signs they’re probably holding would give a clue to their purposes?)

                      “Who cares what you’ve heard?”

                      Because I know a bit about what kind of information prolifers actually release to the public. This includes info about dangerous conditions in abortion clinics. A lot of this info comes from publicly-available government inspection reports. Some comes from 911 calls. Some comes from photos of women coming out in gurneys.

                      And in some cases, getting a glimpse of the injured patient helps illustrate a broader point – as in these photos of EMTs being unable to maneuver their gurneys in the facility’s hallways, obliging staff/emergency personnel to bodily carry women out of the building. Isn’t that useful information to have the next time someone talks about “unnecessary” regulations on the size of clinic hallways?


                      “How does the cop or EMT know what the journalists are planning”

                      Isn’t there some kind of law limiting the curiosity of government officials into the activities of journalists?

                    2. Now, I see that we’re not all that far apart. I tend to agree that it’s a good idea in most cases to blur out the faces of the victims, so long as the basic information remains – eg, that an ambulance is taking a woman away from a “safe, legal” abortion mill. But who bears the responsibility for a patient being out in public for the world to see? I would think the blame rests with the people who *caused* her to be in that ambulance.

                      Maybe public officials are allowed to “request” that journalists censor truthful information, but not to block the shot or argue with people exercising their right to photograph in a public place.

                      And govt officials lack standing to complain about these “violations of privacy” if they hold press conferences talking about an auto accident victim’s injuries.

                    3. I hope we don’t miss the main issue.

                      Suppose that, in the case of that mentally-ill man killed by the cops in California, authorities asked the guy(s) with the video to delete it for the sake of the guy’s medical privacy? Or asked that the dash-cam footage of that diabetic being beaten and kicked be deleted so as to keep these medical issues confidential? After all, neither of these guys consented to be recorded!

                      In that case, you would think that this was a distraction – perhaps a sinister distraction – from the main issue.

                      So why shouldn’t we have the same skepticism when a government official (very selectively) wants to stop photographing in the name of medical privacy, in a case that happens to involve a victim of a botched abortion?

        2. Of course not.

          And if her face was stuck on a website as she was carted out of the abortion clinic, I’d say she was victimized twice.

          1. See the abortion-clinic below; the prolife group blurred out the faces of other patients.

            The prolifers aren’t the ones endangering and humiliating women.

            1. Well, good.

    1. how much are they paying Tebow to not play?

      1. Whatever they are, it’s too much. Get him in there!

        Denver playoff wins in the past two years:

        Peyton Manning 0
        Tim Tebow 1

      2. how much are they paying Tebow to not play pray?


    1. As God intended.

      1. You think that 316-passing-yard playoff win over the mighty Steelers was a miracle? Wait til you see Tebow take the Patriots to the playoffs WITHOUT spying on the other team’s playcalling.

        1. Where’s Bellichek gonna be?

          1. If Tebow takes them there, Bill will have repented and found Timmie.

    2. We can only hope. Was there Brady sadface?

    3. That would be awesome. It would keep the Patriots from winning the Super Bowl. But Bellicheck would know how to use Tebow and Tebow would do quite well even if they didn’t go to the Super Bowl. And the butt hurt that would result from Tebow doing well would be wonderful.

      1. On the downside, Skip Bayless would be even more annoying if Tebow were relevant again.

        1. Hasn’t bayless reached peak annoying already?

          1. Skip Bayless is how the peak should be defined.

        2. I am horrified to think about what would happen if Tebow did lead the Patriots to a Super Bowl win.

          1. Hmmm. Where’s robc? I think I have another bet with him.

            1. I dont see why I need to do anything but gloat.

              1. You’re no fun anymore.

                1. So what is the bet you are proposing?

                  1. Just kidding, I can’t think of a good one that would give approximately even odds.

                    Unless you’d like a repeat of the previous one – he wins another playoff game at some point.

      2. I am an FSU alumnus. I hated the shit out of Tim Tebow. I hope he runs up a 13-3 season just to give the fuck you to all of the people who hate him now.

        Hold on, I think the Alumni Association wants to take my ring back…

        1. Me too. I hate the SEC and Florida and Urban Meyer in particular. I couldn’t stand Tebow right up until every right thinking NFL douche bag decided they needed to tell me what I should think of him.

          1. Tebow forgives you, John.

            1. I am sure he does.

              1. And all he asks you in return is for a sacrifice.

                1. Your firstborn is on the chopping block, ProL. But it’s for Timmah, so it’s ok.

                  1. He’s not asking me for a sacrifice. I was baptized in Lake Alice by Tim and his prophet, Tom Petty. No, he’s asking John for one. As an unbeliever.

                    1. The poor Patriots. First Hernandez, then possibly Brady, and the Gronk is always injured. But there is the Timmah. There is hope.

                      I swear I’ll root for the Patriots for the first time ever if Timmah is the QB.

                    2. I’m not making this up–it’s Tim Tebow’s birthday. Right now.

                  2. TIMMEH!

                    1. The suck part is, even though his over theology is annoying to me, he isnt out there trying to convert people. He does his thing and people go ape shit(both sides) and ALL of that overshadows that he can actually play the foosball pretty well…yes playoffs in Denver. He is a hell of a lot better than the bottom half of starters in the NFL. It just baffles the mind. Same thing about Pete Rose, a dick to be sure but one hell of a ball player.

                    2. The thing I can’t figure is why he’s not throwing as well as he did in college. And yes, he did throw well in college (high QB rating the whole career, along with excellent TD/INT ratio, the works). I think they just couldn’t take his unorthodox delivery and fucked him up.

                      Of course, he did win, anyway, with Denver, which just upsets so many people.

                    3. Again, look at his college stats. I watched him play, and I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s because too many sinners play and watch the game?

                    4. Mark Sanchez was also a good college QB. Yet he’s terrible, too. Many good college QBs fail in the NFL.

                    5. Hatewatching Mark Sanchez and the Jets has become a slightly disturbing habit of mine.

                    6. No doubt, and I’m not saying he can’t fail in the NFL. It’s just odd.

                    7. He won in Denver? He lost his last 3 regular season starts, backed into the playoffs, and won on a fluke throw to Demaryius Thomas before getting demolished by the Patriots. He was carried by an overachieving defense for most of the year in Denver. I don’t dislike Tebow, and that was a fun season, especially the Steelers game, but people give him far too much credit for the wins and just ignore the losses to which he contributed mightily. Besides which, Mallett will play ahead of Tebow if Brady is out.

                    8. Or maybe Tebow inspired the defense to overachieve.

                      2011 Broncos without Tebow: 1-4.
                      2011 Broncos with Tebow: 7-4.

                    9. Sure, deny the fact that the team turned around the instant he took over. If it were all defense, why didn’t they go all the way last year

                    10. They had a much better regular season, went just as far (second round) in the playoffs), and lost on a worse fluke TD than the one that Tebow had thrown the prior year.

                    11. Sanchez’s Jets made the AFC title game two years in a row. Clearly, he’s better than both Manning and Tebow.

                    12. The thing I can’t figure is why he’s not throwing as well as he did in college.

                      This one is easy. He is playing against defenses that are all significantly better than the defenses he played in college. The opposition is, across the board, faster, stronger, smarter (at football), and more experienced. The defenses are more complex and better hide where they’ll bring the pressure. The best defenses in college have a player or two who can really exploit a mistake by the offense. Almost every starter on an NFL defense will make the offense pay if they’re a split second late in picking up the blitz, fail to see they dropped into coverage, or misread who was covering what zone.

                      I think they just couldn’t take his unorthodox delivery and fucked him up.

                      It’s not just that he has an unorthodox delivery. His unorthodox delivery makes his release slow, he doesn’t repeat his throwing motion well, and his footwork is poor.

                      The success of Kaerpernick and RGIII I think demonstrates that NFL teams are more than capable of crafting offenses to take advantage of QBs with serious skills beyond throwing the ball. But both of them are significantly better passers than Tebow. There is a level of passing skill a QB must have to succeed in the NFL, and it is likely Tebow is simply below that threshold.

    4. I sure hope the Patriots see this as the accident it was and don’t retaliate against Freeman. Of course, with their defense, it’s possible they couldn’t do that if they tried, but still.

  24. Aaaaand finally, Grasshopper jumps again. Only this time it moves 100m laterally and still lands back on the pad. I’m still unclear on how the first stage will have enough fuel to be powered the whole time. The Rocket Equation is pretty specific about max v being related to m0 over mf.

    1. I’m not sure how the mass ratio would be limiting in this case.

      1. well Mf is going to be a lot bigger if you need to fuel the descent, too.

        1. Nobody said it wasn’t hard. I just don’t see any reason to say the math rules it out.

          1. I’m not saying it does, I guess I just wonder at the efficiency rating because you have to leave fuel which raises your final mass, which requires more fuel. The other way to fix this is just to have a larger 2nd stage, but I’m pretty sure the e rules the the stage size and you can’t just raise the 2nd stage by x kg because you’ve essentially added e^x to the mass of the first stage for a given v.

    2. From what I’ve heard, this will be used with Falcon 9, but with only one of the nine engines.

  25. Feminism continues to eat itself. This is getting hilarious. Hugo is a retard, and now every white feminist is racist (somehow). And by the rules they setup to win arguments without facts, they have no recourse.

    1. Now you know how they ended up murdering millions in the Soviet Union. Imagine if these people had guns and power. They would kill each other by the scores.

      1. They would kill each other by the scores.

        And yet you say this like it would be a bad thing.

    2. Funny, I thought they ate each other.

    3. It’s also about corporate feminism or, the appropriation of feminist politics for corporate profits. Just like it has become a culturally ingrained practice in the corporate world where businesses have eschewed long term goals for short term profits, this corporate feminism that depends on the page clicks and visibility and immediate results has not a single care for long term reputation or integrity.

      Oh my. You thought those clicks were because people took you seriously? It must be very disheartening to find the world laughing at you and not with you. I’ll have a sad for you ater on.

      1. Just like it has become a culturally ingrained practice in the corporate world where businesses have eschewed long term goals for short term profits, this corporate feminism that depends on the page clicks and visibility and immediate results has not a single care for long term reputation or integrity.

        Sort of like all the businesses that bought short term labor peace in the 1960’s and are now going bankrupt because their hyper-unionized work forces couldn’t compete long term?

        It’s funny that leftists never discuss that when they’re talking about sacrificing long term goals for short term profits.

        1. *cough* detroit *cough*

          How’s that long term planning going?

          1. They juuuussst about got it poised for dramatic, dynamic growth that will show all the haters, doubters, economists for the fools they are.

            1. You can buy a house there for a DOLLAR!

              1. They ought to make a Detroit Monopoly game that uses current real estate values. You would play it with real money.

                Not sure how you’d start up the Bank, though.

                1. Not sure how you’d start up the Bank, though.

                  Federal grant.

  26. USA comes from two goals down to defeat two countries: Bosnia and Hercegovina.

    Altidore scores a hat trick.

    1. I’ve got a crazy idea to pitch to the USMNT… How about NOT spotting the opposition any goals?

      1. That would make it less exciting.

        1. But — and I’m just spitballin’ here — probably more successful.

          1. Hey, they’re on 11 straight wins right now.

            Seriously, though, I know what you mean. Having said that, Klinsmann is looking like a much better coach than even a few month ago. They look like a deep team everywhere but on defense, and the dominating, attacking style is great to watch.

            Just watch those counter-attacks.

            1. If they could find some defense, they could go very far. And if you can go very far, you can win the whole thing.

              1. With any kind of defense, they would have gone a round or two further last time.

              2. They’ve also beaten Germany and Italy in the past couple years. I think they in the tier just below the elite teams, and getting a solid defense could be the thing that lets them make that final move up.

                1. On a semi-related note, with a win vs Costa Rica, a Mexico-Honduras draw, and a Jamaica win or draw vs Panama on 9/6, the US clinches a World Cup spot with 3 games to spare.

                  At this point, they could realistically lose out and qualify, but that would clinch it in the next round of games.

                2. Come on guys let’s not go all English style and get inflated expectations every tournament and then watch them crash and burn. Pessimism and low expectations and joy when we surpass them is the way to go.

                  Also thanks for the spoilers. Some of us DVR stuff to watch after work.

    2. how was donovan?

  27. Jesse Jackson Jr. sentenced to two and a half years in prison, his wife gets one year. Watch yourself in the shower, junior!

    1. With that famous name, he’ll have a dozen scary black guys as bodyguards in there.

    2. w00t

      One American dynasty run into the ground.

      Poll: which one do you most want to whack next?


    3. They will call him ejaction.

    4. Odd, how his party isn’t ever mentioned, isn’t it?

  28. Scientists discover way to reliably teleport information between quantum bits.

    The advances these two research groups have made may improve the way quantum bits are sent, leading to faster processors and larger-scale encryption technologies.

    Encryption technology?which is used by everyone from credit card companies to the NSA?is based on the fact that it’s really, really hard to find factors of very large prime numbers. And quantum computing is extremely useful for factoring very large prime numbers.

    Dividing or multiplying numbers is fairly easy for any computer, but determining the factors of a really large 500- or 600-digit number is next to impossible for classical computers. But quantum computers can process these numbers easily and simultaneously.

    Credit card companies, for instance, assign users a public key to encode credit card information. The key is the product of two large prime numbers, which only the website seller knows. Without a quantum computer, it would be impossible to figure out the two prime numbers that are multiplied together to make the key-which protects your information from being shared.

    1. Encryption technology?which is used by everyone from credit card companies to the NSA?is based on the fact that it’s really, really hard to find factors of very large prime numbers.

      It’s pretty tough to find factors of small prime numbers too.

      1. I don’t know, give me a prime number and I bet I can think of two factors pretty quickly OH SNAP

      2. 1 and the number don’t count?

        1. Not if you want a strong encryption key.

    1. So, lots of sheep pillaging?

  29. The Sequester is ushering in a Dark Age for Science

    Dr. Olga Gursky is among the more fortunate scientists working today. She received a $1.5 million NIH grant last month to study microproteins and how they can help cure cardiovascular diseases. The money effectively saved her lab at Boston University School of Medicine. She spent the year before it arrived surviving without one of her funding streams, after a grant she secured through the stimulus package expired.

    “We needed another stimulus,” she said. “Instead of the stimulus we got sequestration.”

    To cut costs when federal funding wasn’t there, Gursky slashed salaries and began sneaking into science symposiums and pestering friends for guest passes to lectures. It was a humbling way to save a few hundred dollars — one that reminded her of the climate she experienced in 1988 when, armed with an MS in physics from Moscow State University, she fled the Soviet Union as a political refugee.

    “I have seen this movie before, and I would hate to see it happen in America,” she said in a still-thick Russian accent. “The trends I have observing here … compounded by the effects of sequestration, I believe is eerily reminiscent.”

    She fled the Soviet Union because they didn’t redistribute enough wealth?

    1. For-profit companies can play a role too. But they are much more likely to support projects with a clear return on investment, leaving explorative research like that being done by Dr. William Jackson at the Medical College of Wisconsin in the lurch.

      Since 2007, Jackson has studied how viruses create a pool of membranes inside a cell. He hypothesized that viruses went into these “acidic vessels” in order to turn the cell into a factory for other viruses, meaning that if he could stop the development of these membrane pools, he could stop the spread of the virus itself. Most promisingly, he found that chloroquine, which is used to fight malaria, could be used to disrupt this process.

      Despite the potential ramifications of such a finding — everything from the common cold to foot-and-mouth disease is thought to follow this pattern — the private sector won’t fund the work. “There is no money to be made from chloroquine,” Jackson said. “Only if the drug companies found something they could copyright or patent would they do it.”

      Capitalism sucks. Clearly there is no money to be made from curing diseases!

      1. Facepalm.

        Yeah, I’m sure it’s just chloroquinone. There’s no possible caveat with delivery at the micro-scale that can be patented. GIVE ME MOAR MONEYs

    2. To cut costs when federal funding wasn’t there, Gursky slashed salaries and began sneaking into science symposiums and pestering friends for guest passes to lectures. It was a humbling way to save a few hundred dollars — one that reminded her of the climate she experienced in 1988 when, armed with an MS in physics from Moscow State University, she fled the Soviet Union as a political refugee.

      “I have seen this movie before, and I would hate to see it happen in America,” she said in a still-thick Russian accent. “The trends I have observing here … compounded by the effects of sequestration, I believe is eerily reminiscent.”

      Wait, is she comparing post-Communist Russia unfavorably with Communist Russia? She’s a doctor, so I suppose she was one of the Elect in the Soviet state and was allowed to plunder her inferiors. I understand why she’s upset at not having those opportunities in America.

      1. Wait, are you telling me that a government parasite doesn’t want to lose their gravy train?

    3. If you can’t get a grant for your research, you use university money to fund your lab. Now, universities hate that and would prefer you find your own money. But if your research is really good and show promise, they don’t mind. Discoveries bring in prestige and donor money.

      When this woman says “exploritive research”, she means shit that few people beyond the researcher see any promise to.

      1. If you can’t get a grant for your research, you use university money to fund your lab.

        In my experience if you don’t bring in grants your dead fucking weight. If you’re not tenured and don’t bring in the grants they’ll drop you faster than something really fast gets dropped.

        1. Yes they will. But if you have really promising research, they will fund you themselves. The thing is that if you have really promising research, they almost never have to because you get a lot of grants.

          1. Of course, this is appropriate:

            Dr Ray Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn’t have to produce anything! You’ve never been out of college! You don’t know what it’s like out there! I’ve *worked* in the private sector. They expect *results*.

    4. To cut costs when federal funding wasn’t there, Gursky slashed salaries and began sneaking into science symposiums and pestering friends for guest passes to lectures.

      Man these university “researchers” spend about 75% of their time either going after grants and hobnobbing at conferences and expense account dinners/lunches. The grad students do the work.

      There is mucho fat to be trimmed.

      1. The whole ‘grad student’ setup is awful bullshit that exemplifies the feudal dysfunction of academia. It is horrible. Yes I am kind of bitter about my grad years. It took too much from me. It took a lot more from others.

        1. All of academia is fucked. Every incentive is perverse and counterproductive. The waste and gaming is enough to make you sick.

        2. Cyto, what grad work did you do?

          1. I don’t like to get too specific online-no offence-but it involved a lot recombinant protein expression and purification and biochemistry and virology and antibody titration/analysis. It’s not as awesome as it sounds.

    5. As a mediocre research scientist I can only scream for MOAR. As in MOAR CUTBACKS. You don’t understand what a cancer academia is. So much money such variable quality research. If only you knew.

    6. She fled the Soviet Union because they didn’t redistribute enough wealth?

      Not to her, personally, no.

      And now the same thing is happening here!

      1. Maybe she can to a repeat and scram.

      2. I hear North Korea is in need of qualified scientists.

        Maybe their political structure would be more to her liking.

    7. If she could show how microproteins prevent global warming instead of curing cardiovascular diseases like Dick Cheney gets, she’d be drowning in gravy.

      I guess her university is all out of its own money because of its $50 mil Affirmative Action Ombudsperdaughter.

  30. Sloopy has been busy at work and asked that we post that there are two slots left in the Reason H&R J sub D Memorial fantasy football league. First two people who email him at can fill the last two slots.

  31. Peggy Noonan suggests Obama should show some humility by pardoning the rodeo clown that made fun of him.

    Salon says THAT’S RACIST!

    It never fails to amaze how some confuse the plain text of the First Amendment to assume free speech means the ability to say or do anything without criticism, rather than be free of legal persecution. Who else should Obama issue press releases defending? The Westboro Baptist Church? The KKK? Sure, they all deserve the right to free speech, but that doesn’t mean the president needs to issue an official statement defending them. And what does it say about Noonan that she thinks this Rodeo clown ? of all people ? deserves a rhetorical presidential pardon?

    Two things: 1, wearing an Obama mask isn’t blackface any more than a Nixon mask is whiteface. 2. You really get the impression from the outrage that progressives think Obama is King or something and beyond mockery.

    1. “2. You really get the impression from the outrage that progressives think Obama is King or something and beyond mockery.”
      Yes, yes, you do.

    2. I love how a rodeo clown mocking the President is now the exact equivalent of a violent terrorist group which killed hundreds, if not thousands of people.

      1. And don’t forget, Bush was a tyrant for even mentioning that maybe his critics didn’t want the best for him and the country.

      2. The difference being the US could actually defeat the rodeo clown.

        1. The army, navy, air force, Marines – yes.

          Pols? Not a one of them.

          1. Who’s the Commander in Chief of those military groups you mention? A politician.

            One rodeo clown is akin to the Grenada military.

            1. Not really. Them there rodeo clowns are usually some pretty tough dudes.

            2. “Who’s the commander in chief…?”

              Who fucking cares. HE couldn’t take a rodeo clown.

              The military he commands could.

              My point stands.

              *wheels on heel, walks away with nose in air*

    3. It is a good thing that Salon was all over people calling for the assassination of Bush and comparing him to a chimp back in the day. I mean they were totally like offended by the disrespect to the office of the Presidency.

      And yeah, fuck these people. They deserve nothing but ridicule and scorn. It is a fucking personality cult and should be called such at every opportunity. We have passed the point of reasoned argument. They only deserve ridicule.

    4. “The best way to drive out the devil is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.”

      The MEssiah indeed


      I don’t remember any outrage when it was HW.

  32. Sorta missed the AM links:
    “Ancient redwoods in growth spurt of a lifetime”
    We’re all gonna DIE from climate change!…..730759.php


    Football fans, I think these are hilarious. Your mileage may vary.

    1. Where is the Seahawks one? Oh right, the Seahawks are awesome this year. Carry on.

      1. The answer to the Seahags question is just too obvious.

        “Because they’re the Seahawks.”

        1. Man, I’m going to be laughing all season at the rest of you. I can’t wait.

        2. I hired a bunch of ex-Seahawks to carry by gilded sedan chair, because they always let me down gently when the trip/season is over.

          1. Carry me, that is.

      2. Did you see they dropped in the preseason rankings… all the way down to number 3. Because Harvin, apparently. Ha. Come at us, Kaepernick, with your broke-ass face and all.

        GO HAWKS.

      3. No more replacement refs.

        /angry Packer fan.

        1. The real refs weren’t any better, really.

          1. Yep. The real refs screwed up as many calls. The difference was the speed. The replacements were fucking slow.

            Yeah fuck the Packers fans on that one. It’s a fucking Hail Mary. You could throw a flag on every single Hail Mary in the endzone.

            1. The Packer butthurt after that call was so deeply satisfying. Just so much so. And then the long bomb to Sidney Rice in the game against the Patriots for the win. So nice. And I had a friend from high school who is a Patriots fan in town for that one, so I got to gloat when we went out for drinks afterward.

              1. I’m happy to see Russell Wilson succeed (UW alum) but I’d prefer he win throwing TDs and not INTs, the way he did the rest of the year.

                And yes, Seattle will be good this year.

            2. It wasn’t so much the blatant OPI as it was the touchdown call.

          2. Real refs would have called an interception an interception.

    2. well the one on the Bengals forgot to mention ‘uniforms’ so, B-

    3. Ha! No Green Bay Packers on that list! I look forward to another division title and more funny Aaron Rodgers State Farm commercials.

      1. They will be. He’s doing every team in the league.

        1. The Packers are tomorrow actually.

    4. Totally hilarious. Being in VA… Redskins fan? That’s acceptable. RG3 gets my respect. I hope he gets healthy in time for regular season.

      I think Drew is generally going from most- to least-suckass, so it may be some time before he gets around to the ‘Hawks.

      1. I don’t know if your logic is solid. He didn’t do the Browns first, so it can’t be from most to least suckass.

        1. It’s going by division.

          Hell yes Skins fan. 20 years of futility has ended. We are going to be good this year. Injuries are the only thing I’m worried about. I really want a rematch with the Seahawks though. Not sure why we stopped running the ball with Morris and instead told RG3 to keep passing on a bum leg, but what do I know.

          1. It’s going by division.

            Oh, duh. I checked back and wondered why the Falcons got their turn so early.

            BTW, did you see that apparently Slate, Mother Jones, and maybe another couple of lefty rags are boycotting the name “Redskins”? Oh, how I laughed. I really hope they hold their collective breath waiting for the huge impact that will have. Any minute now, guys.

            1. “Let us tilt our lance at the windmill that is football.”

              I love stupidity on this level. It can’t hurt me and is absolutely hilarious.

            2. Yeah TNR, Slate, and Mother Jones will no longer type what they are calling “the R Word”. You know, because they cover so much football. Rachel Maddow called the word Redskin “painfully racist”.

              1. For some reason that just makes me giggle. “Painfully racist”! Your words, they hurt!

                It kind of seems like a double-whammy of standard issue outrage industry nonsense, but with a strange side of misguided KULTUR WAR. Which is really stupid, because everyone loves football, morons.

                1. When the Skins sucked, it was obviously something they didn’t like, but it wasn’t something they made a big deal about.

                  But now that the Skins are good again, they’re really really eager to flex their PC muscles.

                  Oh, and no, they hate football. They’re a bunch of snooty fucking liberal pussies who, if they watch sports at all, are the ones lamenting that stupid brutish Americans can’t appreciate the delicate nuances of soccer. Football is something proles enjoy, and they absolutely despise proles.

                  1. Football is something proles enjoy, and they absolutely despise proles

                    Of course the Euro proles are quite fond of soccer but they are more sophisticamated or something with their racism and hooliganism.

                  2. They don’t like soccer really either though. In the rest of the world soccer is for the proles even more so than football is here.

            3. The obvious solution is that the name needs to be officially changed to “The Washington R-words”

              Everybody wins!

              1. The obvious solution is that the name needs to be officially changed to “The Washington R-words”

                Do you mean richers?

                *eyes around*

                You know, cash chuckers.

            4. That a pro sports team in 2013 is still called “Redskins” is a disgrace to America, but then, so is Washington.

              1. Could be worse, they could be named after politicians, like “Senators” or “Obamafuckfaces.”

        2. But the Browns one was one of the best. There is just so much material to work with. And just when you think: this is too easy! Making fun of the Browns and of the beleaguered people of Cleveland isn’t even fun anymore, and it sure as hell ain’t sporting! Well, then you think of Warty, and it all feels all right.

          1. It also feels pretty good if you just think of Cleveland. Warty sure “helps,” though.

            1. I really liked the tone of despair that the Browns fans exhibited. Warty’s done a good job of keeping their spirits broken. See?? He really does help.

    5. You can’t hate on Texans fans for not being life-long fans. Some of us were Oilers fans. We’ve paid our dues.

      1. Fuck Bud Adams.

        1. I’m selling tickets in line to piss on his grave. $20.

        2. Not with Warty’s dick-like appendage.

  34. Horrible person writes a horrible article.

    See if you can spot:

    a) ridiculous definition of “bullying”
    b) assumption that “white” is bad so it’s just used as an insult
    c) the smug superiority of of a mental midget.

    1. A few weeks ago, Stacey posted a Facebook status about her husband, “best hub-band in the world.” He had bought her tickets to Sugarland or Carrie Underwood or some other FEST type concert with a crowd demographically indistinguishable from a white pride rally or CPAC. OMG SOOOOO FUNNNN!!! CANT WAAAIIIIITTTTTT.

      This dovetails pretty well with our mocking of Jezebel’s writing style up-thread.

      1. Yeah because there is such a diverse crowd at an Occupy Wall Street Rally or a Lillith Fair concert.

        1. Now, now. There were people of all races at Occupy camps, particularly late in the game when criminals and drug addicts showed to commit sexual assaults and shot heroin next to the drum circle.

          The races of those scam artists, drug addicts, and homeless people crossed the entire spectrum.

    2. I think she’s mad that no one but other lonely, future cat ladies think that a companionless, anonymous life in a tiny gentrified apartment is a great life.

      standing atop a pile of dirty clothes: “Why won’t they recognize ALL that I’ve got, the RUBES!! I travel!”

      1. Agreed. Though it doesn’t sound all that gentrified.

        1. The liquor store is the only remaining vestige of her neighborhoods’ former squalor.

          1. She’s depressed because her junior high nemesis is NOT depressed? And she’s still aggrieved from 1997?

            This woman will never ever be happy. What a self absorbed, smug, and ultimately wasted life.

  35. “…Planned Parenthood OKs Sex-Selection Abortion Again

    “by Steven Ertelt | Washington, DC | | 6/20/12 9:53 AM

    “…Today, Live Action released new undercover footage showing the NAF clinic in Raleigh and a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic in Chapel Hill advising women on how best to procure a sex-selective abortion of their baby girls because they want a boy instead. The Live Action project has now shown eight abortion centers in five different states willing to facilitate sex-selection abortions for pretend clients seeking them.”…..ion-again/

    1. Nothing to see here. Just like when they give abortions to victims of statutory rape and never report it or try to find t he offender. They are a horrible organization. But the media will never let the public know.

    2. Apparently they’ve been successful in their outreach to barbarian, backwards, ignorant, misogynistic, stupid Asians.

  36. Sweet, but also sad: Terminally ill 16 year old cancer patient befriended Bryan Cranston and Vince Gilligan, declined offer to read the script for the finale so he could watch it with everyone else.

    He died back in March and the season premiere was dedicated to him.

    1. Ohhhh!

      *tears up*

  37. Q) Why did the libertarian cross the road?


  38. Fedgov hits debt limit, yet borrows additional tens of billions via the simple expedient of just lying about how much debt it has issued.…..9396000000

    1. Fookin’ squirrelz.…..9396000000

      1. It’s always the squirrels’ fault, isn’t it, RC?

        1. Yes. Yes, it is.

  39. World Pipe Band Championship this weekend in Glasgow, friends.

    Anyone wanna bet against Field Marshal Montgomery this year?


    1. Can’t find the clip on YouTube, but I’m reminded of that scene in ‘Patton’ where Montgomery marches into Messina, Sicily to find Patton waiting for him and after some tense words Patton has his band blare out ‘Scotland the Brave’ with ‘Stars and Stripes Forever’.

      1. I mostly like the YouTubes of my band, with me playing 🙂

    2. Are you going? I wish I was. Man, there’s going to be Highland Games events too. Scotland is awesome.

      Also, go SFU!

      1. Not this year. And my money’s on Field Marshal (asit always is), although SFU will likely be top 3 again.

        We shall see!

        All my pals from Ontario will be there – good luck Toronto Polis, Peel Regional Polis and 78th Frasers!

        1. Do you know if the performances will be streaming online anywhere?

          The Toronto Police band usually does very well too, don’t they?

  40. Congressman Tom McClintock argues against multiculturalism: there is only one race: the American Race

    1. No, it’s the human race. Go back 80,000 years, and we’re all African Americans. At least those of us who are American.

      1. No, you were right the first time.

  41. Post Office closures is a conspiracy caused by big business:

    WITHOUT QUESTION, the big-business class and their agents in the U.S. Postal Service (USPS) headquarters, the executive branch and Congress are on a path to dismantle the Postal Service, privatize the profitable parts of it, and neutralize or destroy the postal unions.

    Their whole economic system is in crisis. It’s not working. So the 1 Percent are trying to pull their own chestnuts out of the fire by a full-bore attack on unions, the workers and the poor–an attack on our union contracts, our jobs, economic security, wages, benefits, working conditions and social services. Their assault on the Post Office is part of this strategy.

    I didn’t get the memo for this one, guys. Who sent word out on destroying the Post Office? I want in.

    1. on a path to dismantle the Postal Service,

      So far so good.

      privatize the profitable parts of it,

      As long as we aren’t talking about crony capitalizing any part of it, I’m still in.

      and neutralize or destroy the postal unions.

      Woot! The silver lining has a silver(er) lining! And not a dark cloud to be found!

    2. Wait… the USPS employees love their working conditions? Why do they go postal then?

    3. I’m sure the “anarchists” are up in arms about this since we need to get Top Men to make the USG bigger so it can wither away and leave anarchotopia. Also didn’t the original Populists lurve the Postal Service and wanted free rural delivery?

      1. I don’t know about all that, but I do know that this is some racist shit, yo:

        Today, the Postal Service is the largest single source of Black employment (20 percent of the postal workforce). For many workers of all nationalities, it is one of the few places where living-wage jobs are still available in our low-pay, “post-industrial” economy.

        The campaign to privatize and de-unionize the USPS is a threat to the livelihood of every affected worker and neighborhood. But it stands to hit hardest in those communities of color that are already suffering unemployment at Great Depression levels. We need a movement that puts in the forefront those most impacted by the postal crisis–Black, Brown and rural communities; elderly, disabled and low-income people.

        Honky bankers strike again!

        1. So should the GOP support the USPS to be more diverse?

          1. The GOP should not mess with the ‘postal clause’ or anything else in the US Constitution until the year 4075.

            1. “Remember this: When you control the mail, you control..INFORMATION!!”

    4. So the 1 Percent are trying to pull their own chestnuts out of the fire by a full-bore attack on…

      Obama’s taking good care of the 1% numb nuts.

    5. The USPS has some of the most horrible ingrates under its employ. I bring $500 worth of parcel postage to these slugs on a daily basis, and get a reception from apathetic at best, to outright disdain for making employees get off their fat asses to move my accepted product. Horrible entitled organisation.

  42. those communities of color that are already suffering unemployment at Great Depression levels.

    Whoa there. That sounds an awful lot like the Great Recovery that has been destowed on us by Great Leader maybe ain’t all that great. Better check yourself in to Narrative Re-Education Camp. Comrade.

    1. We were in a summer of recovery until racist rethuglican obstructionists put our economy in a tailspin to make one black man look bad. What do you think all that “take our country back” crap was?

    2. It’s the Socialist Worker. They probably think Obama’s a capitalist.

      1. They oppose the status quo so libertarians should ally with them.

  43. That chick is HOT, I would totally hit that!

    1. This would have been more appropriate in that thread from yesterday with the girl playing xbox 360

  44. New York schools are going full retard

    Oh wait, that might be a banned word.
    So are:
    War (guess they don’t want to teach history)
    Divorce (Kid: My parents are getting a divorce… Teacher: DETENTION!)
    Guns (oogah boogah!)
    Death (Kid: My grandma died last night… *sniff* Teacher: DETENTION!)
    Halloween (oh for fucks sake)
    Birthdays (Kid: Happy Birthday, Johnny! Teacher: DENENTION!!!)

    Fuck New York!

    1. Aren’t they the social liberals that the Reason staff want to be?

    2. All the words I want to use to describe this are banned.

    3. This…is a good thing.

      “Little Johnny, why was the Civil War fought?”


      “DON’T. YOU. DARE!!!!”

      “Um…state’s rights, then?”

      *checks list to see that the phrase isn’t banned*

      “That’ll work.”

    4. Wait…”Evolution” is banned, but not “Creationism”?

      Did a bunch of socons secretly take over the NY Dept of Ed?

    5. “Fuck New York!”

      Redcoats. When did the uniform swap happen?

    6. That list is worth printing in its entirety, but I think there’s a word limit in comments, so:

      Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological) — HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REPORT IT THEN?

      Cancer (and other diseases) — HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TOUT THE WONDERS OF OBAMACARE?

      Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes) — HOW ARE YOU GOING TO ROUSE CLIMATE CHANGE HYSTERIA?


      Death and disease — SEE OBAMACARE

      Evolution — WHAT???!!!

      In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge — LIKE WHEN OBAMA DOES HIS NBA PICKS?



      Religion — OKAY, ISLAM IS A T.V. GAME SHOW

      Rock-and-Roll music — SORRY, CHUCK BERRY




      Witchcraft, sorcery, etc. — NOT A FAN OF HARRY POTTER?

      1. Seriously? If this is true, what about Arthur Miller’s The Crucible? It starts with the investigation of a slave (ding!) and then lots of people start getting accused of witchcraft (ding!) in a context of a religious (ding!) belief in witchcraft. One of the accusers is a teenage girl who had sex (ding!) with her boss, a form of abuse (ding!). The girls commit the crime of perjury in accusing people of the crime of witchcraft (ding!). Several people are convicted and sent to their deaths (ding!) – well, you get the picture.

      2. Seriously? If this is true, what about Arthur Miller’s The Crucible? It starts with the investigation of a slave (ding!) and then lots of people start getting accused of witchcraft (ding!) in a context of a religious (ding!) belief in witchcraft. One of the accusers is a teenage girl who had sex (ding!) with her boss, a form of abuse (ding!). The girls commit the crime of perjury in accusing people of the crime of witchcraft (ding!). Several people are convicted and sent to their deaths (ding!) – well, you get the picture.

        1. I see – you just can’t use the words on tests, presumably the standardized ones. So learning about *The Crucible* is all right if the standardized test doesn’t measure your knowledge of this classic.

  45. Ha! Wedding cake bigots get what they deserve! They should totally have to go to some sort of re-education camp where they can learn that there is no invisible sky daddy, and that acting according to sincerely held religious beliefs is not acceptable in a modern, tolerant society.

    1. Aren’t these the Social Liberals that Reason likes?

    2. “I told him, ‘There are two brides and our names are Rachel and Laurel,’ ” according to her complaint.

      As beta male with a lifetime alpha female companion I note that there would be no ‘brides’ at our theoretical wedding.

    3. “The goal is never to shut down a business. The goal is to rehabilitate,” Avakian said. “For those who do violate the law, we want them to learn from that experience and have a good, successful business in Oregon.”

      I’m speechless.

      1. “So, citizen, you haf learned your lesson, ja? Or do ve rehabilitate you some more?”

        1. I was imagining a North Korean accent, but that’ll do.

      2. South Park’s tolerance camps were actually a documentary.

        1. Well hopefully the Social Liberals will realize that we are their friends…oh wait.

  46. Heidi Fleiss looks like the resuscitated corpse of Karen Carpenter.

    1. Resuscitated?

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