Your Tax Dollars at Work, DataFerrett Division

And the worst animated GIF in the service of government work goes to … the Census Bureau! Take a gander at the little fella to your right, but not for too long! You don't want to think about why he can't stop smiling…. 

"This tool looks like it was designed circa 1995," notes Wonkbook writer Evan Soltas, "but it gives you Census microdata. Amazing, useful for wonks[.]"

Rest assured, literalists: "FERRETT stands for Federated Electronic Research, Review, Extraction, and Tabulation Tool." So they, uh, meant it?

And don't worry, ladies: There's video.

Link via the Twitter feed of Kevin W. Glass. 

Wait, did someone say something about ferrets?

Comments

[Agammamon]

Neat stuff.

So I’m going to try to derail this thread right off the bat.

Went down to Mexico to day – to pay a guy doing some work on my motorcycle. Walking south, there’s a gate and that’s it. Not even a guy standing there to check the ID of people coming across.

[Agammamon]

Going north however, I get into a minor altercation with CBP.

The guy checking passports wants to know where I’m going, where I live – I tell him that away (nodding towards the US side of the border). He asks me what I was doing in Mexico – I tell him I don’t want to answer any more questions. He asks me about fruitvegetablesweaponscash10000 and I answer no so he send me to secondary (as punishment for not answering his questions).

In secondary the guy there starts asking me the same stuff, I tell him I don’t want to answer questions. He goes ‘why not’ I say, not going to answer that either. his partner jumps in (props to this guy as he actually *is* trying to de-escalate the situation – I’m not yelling but my voice is getting loud, something I need to get under control) by explaining to me that they have to ask certain questions about contraban, weapons, money, food being brought across. I shut him down when I point out that the guy asking me questions hasn’t even gotten to that point yet.

So they ask me to have a seat and the dude is looking through the computer for maybe less than 10 minutes and I hear him tell his partner that he can’t find anything. So they call me back up, ask me to empty my pockets and then let me go – not even a patdown.

On their side, I will say that the CBP agents attitude’s this whole time were pretty calm and professional in the face of my defiance. City cops could learn something from these guys about how you run a gestapo.

[Almanian!]

The important question = what kind of bike? What work you getting done?

[Agammamon]

2005 Triumph Speed Triple

Nee to replace the start solenoid and sprag – turns out starting your bike a lot on a low charge is bad for the gearing.

[Almanian!]

Cool! ZX14 Ninja, ZRX1200R and XR650L…none of which has been to Mexico.

Shiny side up and safe travels!

[Agammamon]

Yeah neat bikes but a bit over-powered for me (technically so is the S3). I’ve got a Buell XB9R I’m trying to sell but no-one’s biting.

[Paul.]

You got lucky. The U.S. Border guys coming from Canada tend to be colossal pricks.

[Agammamon]

The less important the job, the more petty the bureaucrat.

[Almanian!]

this

“Where do you work?”

“FUCK OFF”

*secondary inspection – AGAIN*

[My Dog Bites Better Than Yours]

That’s pretty typical of CBP-Mexico Border. My punishment is always the same, whether I show just show annoyance or stay quiet quiet and not answer the questions. They go through my backpack, never the roller bag. I’ve even asked about the roller. They always say they are not interested in that.

Never tried cooperation by cheerfully answering the questions. It would be a good control test, but I don’t think I can pull it off.

[Paul.]

to pay a guy doing some work on my motorcycle. Walking south, there’s a gate and that’s it. Not even a guy standing there to check the ID of people coming across.

Ahh, reminds me of my misspent yute… 18 years old, walking into Mexico… apparently they’re not super-concerned with Terrorism.

[Agammamon]

The worst hassle I’ve had going *into* Mexico is taking the bike there on a trailer – had to show its registration and some ID to prove its mine.

That’s basically the extent of Mexican border customs – to prevent people from stealing American cars and running them across the border.

[Invisible Finger]

I don’t really understand the need to have government be up-to-date on technology. Seems to be an ideal way to figure out exactly the things government should not be doing.

[Tak Kak]

Well, ferrets are thieves.

[Almanian!]

Also, ferrets stink. Their fun and cute – as long as they’re someone else’s.

[Agammamon]

Got’s to de-gland them, then they don’t stink (so much).

[Clich? Bandit]

And vigilance on the bathing too. Every other day.

[Agammamon]

Eh, just toss ‘im in the bathtub.

[Paul.]

I like the Matrix-style display in the background of the first video.

[Almanian!]

FUCK – can’t brain. I have the dumb today.

“THEY’RE fun and cute…”

[Agammamon]

Especially when they fight balloons.

[Killazontherun]

I stumbled on this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AihvuZiDhsg#at=39

Its suppose to be big in Canada. You may want to turn off the sound. It’s a Bach study turned into something grotesquely folksy, just what you would expect from Canadians. But the bears are fun.

[Lady Bertrum]

“And don’t worry, ladies: There’s video.”

Matt Welch SEXIST!

[Paul.]

He should have stuck to the more popular and less divisive, “Bitches!”