Michael Bloomberg

Bloomberg Does Not Want Children to Have Sparklers, Fun on July 4


Credit: mbbnda / photo on flickr

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, killer of joy, destroyer of fun, slurper of sodas, enemy of freedom, is now trying to squelch wholesome incendiary celebrations of that most American of all holidays: The 4th of July. (And also New Year's Eve, just for kicks).

The meddlesome mayor wants New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) to veto a bill that would legalize the sale of sparklers outside the New York City for a few days around July 4 and New Year's.

"While this bill excludes New York City, legalizing these devices everywhere else in the state would, as a practical matter, have the same effect in the five boroughs," Joseph Garba, the mayor's state legislative director, said in a memo. "A recent attempt to harm innocent lives provides a frightening example of how legally purchased . . . fireworks can cause dramatic harm and even kill."

The "recent attempt" he's talking about was the Times Square bomber, who bought some fireworks from out of state to use is his (failed) bomb plot. The fireworks he bought contained gunpowder. Sparklers do not. 

Bloomy was May's Nanny of the Month. Is it too soon to have him back for July?

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  1. Bloomberg is quite fond of stepping outside his jurisdiction.

  2. Did that douchebag have a mini-stroke last year or something. He’s dialed the nanny-retard up to 12.

  3. Not the sparklers! That’s, like, the last legal ‘firework’ I’ve been told I can run around with!

  4. Bloomberg is a crazy old pervert. Never forget this is a man who obsesses over the lactation of mothers in New York. The man is clinically insane and should be institutionalized.

    1. His power addiction is truly peerless and incomparable.

      But think how beautiful it will be when he is back relegated to being a private citizen and just another wealthy whiner.

      Everyday will be like a 24-hr orgasm (all over the tiny dictator’s control-freak face).

  5. My whole block in Brooklyn is full of every kind of fireworks every Fourth of July; the guy setting off the most has a big extended family full of kids. Obviously Bloomberg needs to try to ban all fireworks in the U.S. so people don’t bring them in from other states…for the children.

    1. Well, that’s what he wants to do with guns.

  6. I was in Massachusetts this weekend, and I was amazed and yet not surprised at all to see road signs everywhere saying FIREWORKS ARE ILLEGAL.

    1. They need to remind everyone that you aren’t supposed to drive up to New Hampshire, pick up a ton of fireworks and cheap booze, and come back.

      1. Don’t forget about the tax-free cigarettes!

        1. Well, slightly less taxed at this point. The federal tax went up so much that there isn’t such a significant difference anymore. But still enough for the beer and cigs stores along the border to do well.

      2. Don’t go to the liquor stores on the highway. Troopers from neighboring states are often in the parking lot, writing down plate numbers. Better to take an exit, like Seabrook, and go to the package store there. Less of a chance of being observed.

        1. I always pick up my booze when I’m heading to Vermont. There’s no cops for about 3 hours of 93/89/91 anyway.

    2. Driving from New Hampshire into Maine there musta been, like, four different signs listing the prohibited or mandated acts just in case you forgot you were leaving the Free State — Seat belts required! Fireworks forbidden! No raping camels! Or something like that. I was amused, and discouraged.

  7. “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”

    ? C.S. Lewis

  8. Reason should just deem Bloomberg “Supreme Grand Nanny” in perpetuity.

    “Nanny of the Month” could be reserved for lesser (?) beings.

    1. There is no lesser being.

  9. Pyongyang on the Hudson.

  10. Nanny is way too soft of a term for this asshole.

  11. The Nanny of the Month award should be renamed as the Bloomberg Award. He holds the nanny title in perpetuity, but others get the chance to be “honored” as well.

      1. Pro Libertate said…

        I’m rather happy with “bibertarian”. I intend to use it as an epithet to hurl at nanny staters like Clinton, Bloomberg, et al.
        May 1, 2007 at 6:00 PM

        Man, Bloomberg sure has had a long career of this. He’s really making a run at the Nanny Hall of Fame.

        1. I could feel a disturbance in the Farce.

    1. Definitely fucking second this!

      Bloomberg could school North Korea on how to climb into people’s lives. (Not really – but you know he is trying to)

  12. It’s amazing the people we’re electing now. Even scandals seem to not permanently stop these jokers. No, that’s not fair. Even scandals seem to not stop voters. Who, as a group, are retarded. The idiotic election results that occur over and over again, to me, are proof positive of why it’s a bad idea to give government too much power, regardless of how representative it may be.

    1. Mayor Weiner is going to be awesome. Who will be able to take municipal government seriously under this clown?

      1. Not to mention the strain on the NY Post editors to turn everything into a dick joke.

        1. NY Post editors headline writers
          EDIT BUTTON!!

          1. There’ll be no strain. The ability to turn everything into a dick joke is a prerequisite of the job.

  13. “Bloomy was May’s Nanny of the Month. Is it too soon to have him back for July?”

    He should already be eligible for some kind of lifetime achievement award.

  14. It’s amazing the people we’re electing now.

    Degreed Educators.

  15. We have a big ol’ fireworks truck parked in front of my local Safeway – 2 for 1, even on the “deluxe” models!!

    Virginny does some things right.

    And Bloomturd should be Nanny of the Month every month.

    1. Sigh. KK, in VA the only legal fireworks are those which neither leave the ground nor explode. So no rockets, firecrackers, etc. Sparklers, fountains and smoke bombs only.

  16. I’m not one to wish ill on people. But if he was suddenly stricken with advanced ass cancer I would say that it couldn’t happen to a more deserving asshole.

  17. Just name the award “Bloomberg of the Month”

  18. Look if people are allowed to do what they want on Independence Day, they might think the day is about freedom or independence or something.

    1. That is the sick joke. On a day about freedom you are reminded of what you can’t do. The police come out in force to make sure you are only engaging in the government approved level of fun.

      I’m hitting the rye tonight.

      1. ^This and ^This (PS and Floridian)

  19. Huh, here I thought ‘Nanny’ was his first name.

  20. Bloomberg hates arbitrage. We already knew.

  21. Renaming the Nanny of the month award the Bloomberg Award?

    “I completely approve of and endorse this product and/or service”

    1. Ya. Do that.

  22. In other 4th of July, NYC-related nanny news, several townships along the river (Weehawken, et al) have decided to ban all backpack and coolers for people attempting to watch the Macy’s fireworks show.

  23. several townships along the river (Weehawken, et al) have decided to ban all backpack and coolers for people attempting to watch the Macy’s fireworks show.

    You can’t be too careful.

    1. Ya, someone might get drunk on a day celebrating bootleggers and tax evaders taking up armaments against a government. They might even *gasp* throw the empties in the polluted river!

  24. Katherine is probably unaware of the fact that ground up sparkles along with some other easily obtainable ingredients can be significantly more powerful than gunpowder.

    1. Katherine is probably unaware of the fact that ground up sparkles along with some other easily obtainable ingredients can be significantly more powerful than gunpowder.

      Yes, I heard that combination was used as propulsion fuel for Saturn V rockets.

      1. Not Saturn. You may be thinking of the solid-propellant boosters on the Titan 3-C, for instance. All stages of the Saturn series were liquid fueled.

        But yes, the composition of some sparklers is close to that of those solid fueled boosters. The boosters use ammonium perchlorate, while sparklers are much more likely to use potassium perchlorate as the oxidizer, but the fuel in the sparkler is commonly aluminum as in the booster. And yes, such compositions are “sharper” than gun powders. Skylighter.com will sell you supplies & instructions for sparklers, etc. in the USA. With practice you can make works that can make commercial fireworks (even the display kind) look tame & boring, or at least pedestrian.

  25. slurper of sodas

    Shouldn’t that be usurper of sodas?

  26. The fireworks he bought contained gunpowder.

    There are a number of propellants and explosives used in commercial fireworks. AFAIK most are not actually gunpowder.

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