Scandals Having Impact on Obama's Support, Arizona Can't Demand Citizenship Proof to Vote, Google Working to Delete Child Porn from Internet: P.M. Links

|

  • Months later the sign said, "I've been audited."
    credit: Newbirth35 / Foter.com / CC BY-NC

    Youth support for President Barack Obama, the folks who helped get him elected, has plunged. Sounds like these scandals have some traction.

  • Speaking of those scandals: An IRS supervisor in Washington, D.C., says she was indeed involved in the scrutiny of Tea Party groups looking to get nonprofit status.
  • Speaking of those other scandals: NSA surveillance leaker Edward Snowden pledged today to release more information that would prove "nakedly, aggressively criminal" behavior by the federal government.
  • Google is working on technology that will allow child pornography to be more easily erased from the Internet. Few, obviously, would object to such an aim, but do consider how such technology could be further abused.
  • The Supreme Court ruled on a handful of cases today, one of which determined that Arizona cannot add a requirement of proof of citizenship in order to register to vote.
  • Venezuela has responded to its crime problem with strict gun-control laws that carry huge sentences. They've worked so well for Mexico!

Spice up your blog or Website with Reason 24/7news and Reason articles! You can easily add a widget here.

Have a news tip for us? Send it to: 24_7@reason.com.

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily updates for more content

NEXT: Michigan Urged To Adopt Florida's Education Reforms

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Youth support for President Barack Obama, the folks who helped get him elected, has plunged.,?i

    Yet he’ll have no problem securing that third term.

    1. Well, at least it posted.

      1. For now, Fist. For now.

      2. You’re really that desperate to be first?

        1. Don’t think of it as desperate. Think of it as death-defying.

          1. So everybody else’s NSA keyloggers are slowing us down, but you don’t seem to have one, eh…?

            1. I get my stuff pre-logged.

              1. +3 pre-cogs.

        2. There’s a certain speed threshold you can reach on most modern keyboards that, when hit, will automatically type in italics.

          1. Unfortunately, it’s only a little bit below the threshold at which keys melt.

      3. “…least it posted.”

        Speaking of your(it)self in the third person?

        1. Tomorrow I’m just going to post FIRST! then you’ll be sorry. You’ll ALL be sorry!

    2. “Time to legalize MJ, I suppose. Eric, make it so.”

      1. That would lose him the biggest fans of the surviellance state!

        1. what?

          *puff, puff, pass*

  2. Venezuela has responded to its crime problem with strict gun-control laws that carry huge sentences. They’ve worked so well for Mexico!

    Can’t just do what they did with toilet paper and create a massive shortage?

    1. Venezuelans can wipe their ass with their liberty now, get some last use out of it.

    1. How old is too old for jeans?

      I invoke my 49th amendment right to tell the fashion police to drop dead.

    2. Here in Texas, the concept of an age limit on jeans is hilarious. My grandpa will where them every day till he dies.

      1. With a crease that will give you a paper cut, no doubt.

      2. Are you certain why won’t why them or how them instead?

        1. I save my proofreading for when I’m paid to do so.

        2. RC’s law?

    3. What? Brits are fucking weird sometimes. Probably 4 generations of men in my family have worn jeans damn near every day of their lives. Except for weddings and funerals, my grandfather never wore anything else.

      1. Well, I mean the moose-knuckle gets more noticable as they age. Brit dudes should try not pulling them up until the seam is providing support for their taint.

        1. That would be a start. I swear, American men could teach a masters-level course on how to wear jeans. I work in a building with a LOT of tech talent (read: dudes), they all wear jeans every day without exception, and I can spot the foreigners a mile away based largely on their jeans-wearing capabilities.

          1. There’s a reason foreigners are often considered to be about 10 years behind in terms of style. Just look for the goofy looking people in mom jeans and you’ve found some Germans, for instance.

            1. or Barack Obama.

          2. That sounds like the game I used to play with my DBA: Gay or European?

            1. This variation is more like Super-Nerd, or Recent Immigrant? Because (NTTAWWT!) you’ve got your skinny, awkward American nerds, and then you’ve got your skinny, awkward, foreign-jeans-wearing Indian or Chinese dude who, like, doesn’t really get what you do in an elevator yet. (…All of whom probably make twice what I do, fresh out of college. So, tip of the hat to the nerds all ’round!)

            2. Advanced Level: Lesbian or Mildly Retarded Teenage Boy?

              1. Super-advanced level: the President, or your mom?

              2. Which goes hand in hand with the true Seattle original: Homeless or Hipster?

            3. That sounds like the game I used to play with my DBA: Gay or European?

              Ah the secret isn’t the jeans, it’s the thinness of their soles. Europeans love them some thin soled shoes.

              1. And velcro closures

                1. (on their shoes, I mean)

              2. Europeans have no shame when it comes to the garishness of their shoes. They’re fucking terrible.

                When on a cruise last summer in Norway, the demographic makeup was about 20-25% Americans, with the rest being a mix of Brits and Germans with a splash of Italians. After just a few days, I could tell the difference between the Americans and Europeans based solely off of their shoes.

                Bathing suits, particularly for males, was another tell. American men wear sensible bathing suits; European men wear fucking speedos, or even worse, speedo briefs. And this was a cruise where the average age was easily above 60 (my wife and I – both 35 at the time – were easily the youngest people on the boat who weren’t there with our parents). No one should be subjected to seeing an elderly man wearing fucking Speedos. They’ve no sense of shame.

                1. Bathing suits, particularly for males, was another tell.

                  Oh, come on. The Speedo is like playing with a handicap advantage. Dead give-away.

              3. It was the pointy-ness of the shoes too, but really it’s the whole package.

                It all started because of the DBA’s dentist, we’d see on the street around lunchtime. My staffer was gay and even he wasn’t sure which team the dentist played on.

            4. That sounds like the game I used to play with my DBA: Gay or European?

              Gay or Eurotrash?
              http://www.blairmag.com/blair3/gaydar/euro.html

              Almost as old as the internet itself.

              1. Almost as old as the internet itself.

                And it’s only gotten WAY more noticeable since then, at least here in NYC. It’s like the 70s all over again.

          3. 1. Unless you plan to ride a horse all day, they don’t need to be skin tight.
            2. If they aren’t tight just above the knee, they should not be tight in the crotch.
            3. The higher the heel you intend to wear them with (like boots) the longer the inseam should be.
            4. These aren’t suit pants. They should ride neearer your hips and than waist.

            1. “Brett’s guide to looking like an Austrian backpacker”

              1. Well, he said “boots”, not “Birkenstocks”.

  3. NSA surveillance leaker Edward Snowden pledged today to release more information that would prove “nakedly, aggressively criminal” behavior by the federal government.

    Let’s see how mutually assured destruction works out for him.

    1. The more famous he gets the safer he’ll be.

      I realize that isn’t saying much.

      1. So he should start dating Katy Perry?

        1. At this point, it might be all that could save him. I of course would be willing to take that bullet for him, though. I’m all about sacrifice.

          1. I thought you were for sacks of rice.

            1. Maybe he has the pictures of the President that Holder has on his computer. He may be safer than you think.

          2. Really, it’s the best way to rebel against tyranny in the modern age–become part of pop culture.

        2. Wouldn’t dating Taylor Swift be better to ensure he gets universal public support and sympathy after he next album release?

          1. Except for the legions of thirteen year olds calling for his head. “He insulted our Taylor, FINISH HIM!”

  4. f you’re up to no good in this pocket of northeast Ohio, you’re in for a social media scolding from Police Chief David Oliver

    1. Ah, Kent. Kent read, Kent write, Kent State.

  5. Idiot neo-luddites continue blaming technology for the lack of jobs.

    1. Right, it has nothing to do with massive government interference in the economy. Nothing.

        1. It’s too yellow for me to read. Kind of like FoE.

          1. He caught something from SugarFree?

            1. (whispering)

              It was the MEGA-AIDS.

        2. Well, it’s using “household income” rather than individual income, for one.

          Consider a hypothetical “household” that consists of three members: husband, wife, teenage child, all employed, and making, respectively, $30k, $25K, and $15K, for a total household income of $70k. Everyone gets a raise, so the new incomes are $35K, $30K, and $20K. The teenager moves out. Now average household income is $42.5K.

          Armageddon!!!

          1. It also assumes that the divergence of production and wages is the result of technology, rather than the millions of other things that have happened since 1975, so he apparently has no understanding that correlation doesn’t imply causation.

            Hell, wages have stagnated at a time that government spending has exploded. I could just as readily say ‘Increases in government spending clearly cause a divergence in production and wages for workers.’ Unless I provide some other sort of proof, this is clearly an idiotic argument.

            1. Also: aging population means more retired people, which (all other things being equal) means lower household income over time.

        3. I thought saw the first one:

          GDP over Household income. Then I realized the graph was probably focused on Private sector household income. Because I was all, “There’s no way household income has been flat…”

      1. Just look at how many farmers and candle makers are out of work!

    2. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: get rid of the Internet, and have bike messengers carry bits of information on flash drives. Think of the jobs! And with no negative repercussions!

      1. Why flash drives? Flash drives are too compact, which means there are fewer bike messengers than we’d have if we forced them to carry everything in hard copy.

        I say we outlaw flash drives and force our couriers to deliver information in paper copy. THINK OF ALL THE JOBS!

      2. We should outlaw the use of any labor saving device.

      3. Burn the shovels! Dig with your hands!

        I haven’t RTFA’d, but it hard to take seriously such a retarded premise, that can be torn apart with a little basic thinking.

        1. Hell, even language is a labor saving technology since it allows me to tell the orphans down in the mines to keep digging. Without it, I’d have to beat them more.

      4. Flash drives? What of the transcriptionists?!

      5. At one of our dinners, Milton recalled traveling to an Asian country in the 1960s and visiting a worksite where a new canal was being built. He was shocked to see that, instead of modern tractors and earth movers, the workers had shovels. He asked why there were so few machines. The government bureaucrat explained: “You don’t understand. This is a jobs program.” To which Milton replied: “Oh, I thought you were trying to build a canal. If it’s jobs you want, then you should give these workers spoons, not shovels.”

  6. Thailand’s national Buddhism body said Monday it is monitoring monks nationwide for any inappropriate behaviour following complaints ignited by a video showing Buddhist monks flying on a private jet.

    The YouTube video showed one of the monks wearing stylish aviator sunglasses, carrying a luxury brand travel bag and sporting a pair of modern-looking wireless headphones. It attracted criticism from Buddhists nationwide.

    1. Man, you try to prove how detached you are from possessions by surrounding yourself with luxury and everybody criticizes you!

    2. It’s because stupid celebrities like Richard Gere made them rich. If they can get dupes like Gere, I say more power to ’em!

    3. Damn, it feels good to be a Buddhist.

    4. Turns out that belonging to the priestly caste of a religious sect doesn’t mean you’re necessarily devoted to the stated principles of said sect.

      Next thing you know, we’ll find out that the Dalai Lamas in days of yore engaged in murderous intrigue for the sake of the position’s political power.

      1. Next thing you know, we’ll find out that the Dalai Lamas in days of yore engaged in murderous intrigue for the sake of the position’s political power.

        Is that another Dan Brown novel I didn’t read?

  7. The Supreme Court ruled on a handful of cases today, one of which determined that Arizona cannot add a requirement of proof of citizenship in order to register to vote.

    So what the hell is the point of registration?

    1. Meaningless demographic information for the media to report on.

    2. Gotta have a list of names for electoral fraud. It’s not like it’s okay to just make up names, like Raymond Luxury Yacht.

      1. That’s pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove!

        1. Isn’t that what I typed?

      2. Well, if you aren’t going to confirm people are the people on the registration list, and you aren’t going to confirm that the people on the registration list are eligible to be on it, why do you even need names for the fraud?

        1. But you have to have a list.

        2. I say we go further and ask why we bother to have elections?

          1. It’s to confirm our agreement. Like going to a home football game where we all acclaim our team as one.

    3. Ah … ah, Auric, you almost had me there for a second!

    4. The court didn’t rule that a proof of citizenship requirement is unconstitutional, just that Arizona can’t unilaterally start making up it’s own rules for federal elections. The federal government could still imposes such a requirement, and could even be sued by Arizona for failing to do so.

      1. There is no such thing as a federal election. There are elections for federal offices, but they’re all conducted at the state level.

        1. I was wondering about that. There are some federal rules, of course, but it seems like the states control quite a bit.

          1. It seems like they don’t control much regarding the whole “are you eligible” thing.

            1. Theoretically, the only limits to eligibility requirements are the ones in the amendments: race, sex, age if above 18, poll tax payment. The 14th Amendment has successfully been used to justify further federal controls, though.

              1. You’re saying that it would not be illegal or unconstitutional for non-citizens to vote in federal elections…?

                1. I was wrong. Here’s a bit from Article 1:

                  The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Place of Chusing Senators.

                  1. Apparently not many current justices have read that….

                    1. I suppose it would be okay for Congress to require that anyone be allowed to register for congressional elections. However, like I said, the 14th Amendment has been stretched to include all manner of election-related crap.

        2. There is no such thing as a federal election.

          There is ONE federal election held by the electoral college.

          1. Good point there. I was thinking of plebiscites only. Though by that standard I suppose any congressional vote might be considered a federal election.

          2. There is ONE federal election held by the electoral college.

            However,

            Article II, Section 1, Clause 2 of the Constitution states:

            Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

            each state still gets to “chuse” its own electors as it sees fit, subject, of course, to conditions the federals get to set according to amendments and laws in accordance with the original COTUS.

            Its still a matter of “state elections to choose federal officers” as we saw in 2000.

      2. What happens if the state refuses to have elections for federal office? Does the Governor appoint? Seems like they have a lot of latitude to do what they want anyway…

        1. I suppose that a state could get rid of public elections for president by (state) constitutional amendment giving the governor sole power to appoint Electors.

          Still leave the electors (at least) free to vote for who they want.

    5. Actually registration to vote and even running for office has pretty much always been on a sort of honor system.

      The federal requirement is that you must sign an affidavit stating that you are in fact eligible to vote. In the opinion there is apparently some language that if states want more they have to get approval from some federal commission.

      Now, proof of citizenship, a matter of federal law, is not the same thing as requiring someone to prove that they are, in fact, who they say they are before registering. This is usually done with a drivers license (although, I am told that there are people who don’t even have those). The fact is that it has really been only within my lifetime or so (65 yrs) that the notion that “identifying oneself” consisted of more than stating “my name is Raymond Luxury Yacht” or whatever. Producing a utility bill addressed to your home or some such was normally sufficient to establish your identity and your domicile.

      Incidentally, I wonder how many Hit and Runners could prove their citizenship if stopped on the street in the course of a normal day. I know I couldn’t.

      1. Anyone asking me to prove I am a citizen would first have to prove to me that a US citizen actually exists.

        If a citizen is a person who owes allegiance to a government in return for a guarantee of protection and SCOTUS has ruled that the government has no obligation to protect any particular individual, then how can anyone be a true citizen?

        1. A general reading of the COTUS suggests, to me, at least, that “citizenship” is something the Congress gets to define by law subject to the origial COTUS and the 14th Amendment, as is the somewhat nebulous concept of the “Natural Born Citizen.”

      2. I couldn’t randomly on the street. But if I was going to do something specific like registering to vote, I could.

  8. Butt bounty proposed

    A group in Vancouver’s West End is petitioning the province to implement a deposit on cigarette butts ? a system that would give 1 cent for every butt turned in.

    1. Butt smuggling!

      1. Truly, who wouldn’t arrange for smokers in other provinces to mail them butts? In a few years BC will be convinced it has a smoking epidemic on its hands.

        1. Cool! I’m going to smoke me a new minivan.

      2. Butt piracy will run rampant as people snatch butts from smokers before they’re finished.

    2. One Canadian cent. Isn’t that like .0000000000000003 in ‘Merikan?

      1. That joke hasn’t applied for a good number of years now.

        But there is a problem with one Canadian cent… the penny was discontinued back in February, so I guess you’d have to turn in five at a time.

  9. one of which determined that Arizona cannot add a requirement of proof of citizenship in order to register to vote.

    Provided you don’t look Mexican.

  10. …one of which determined that Arizona cannot add a requirement of proof of citizenship in order to register to vote.

    You don’t need it to be president so why should you need it vote for president. Hiyoooooooooooo!

    1. Really, does anyone actually need to vote?

        1. I agree. Of all the rights I could permanently lose if, say, convicted of a felony, the right to vote is about the least significant one.

      1. Vote deprivation could lead to hair loss, prehypertension, low self-esteem, halitosis, clinical depression, thoughts of suicide, and the sniffles.

  11. Dave Chappelle returns to standup with Funny or Die tour

    1. As far as I know, the audience isn’t allowed to carry out the second part of the proposition Roman emperor style. So it’s really misleading.

      1. Like the dance or sing for your life on those shows. The people who fail are not killed. Very disappointing.

  12. Google is working on technology that will allow child pornography to be more easily erased from the Internet. Few, obviously, would object to such an aim, but do consider how such technology could be further abused.

    Given the biggest distributors and producers of child porn are thousands of underaged girls masturbating in front of their webcams producing hundreds of hours of footage every evening, good luck with that Google.

    1. You seem to know an awful lot about the masturbation habits of underaged girls.

      1. Those amateurs are bad for the business. Killing us!

    2. How many pervs find their content through google searches?

      1. I Googled your phrase but didn’t find any definitive answers.

        1. Say hi to the federal agents for me.

          1. Hey, Federal agents, Fist of Etiquette says Hello.

    1. That’s a link to something in Australia. Do we really want to eat Australian food?

    2. Kiwi fruit skin fights cancer cells

      Yes! I can’t wait to shove this in all the faces of all of the people who look at me weird when I eat kiwi skins and have the audacity to declare that it makes them tastier.

      1. Maybe if you didn’t tongue them lovingly before eating them, they wouldn’t look at you weirdly.

        1. It’s weirder that you know that I do that than it is that I do that.

          1. I’m behind you.

            No! Don’t turn around and look.

        2. The more fur, the better, dude. The fur traps in the taste and the musk.

          1. Just like your mom!

      2. I wonder how it would taste in a gruit ale ?

      3. Yes! I can’t wait to shove this in all the faces of

        I see what you did there.

    3. Or, you could, I don’t know, take supplements and avoid drinking banana peel tea or tripe.

  13. Youth support for President Barack Obama, the folks who helped get him elected, has plunged. Sounds like these scandals have some traction.

    Dropped 8 percentage points, and it was lower 18 months ago. Reminds me of the headlines that always explain why “the market” moved one way or another.

    1. Those numbers you use are for the general population. For the 18-25 demo they dropped 18% to the lowest point ever.

      1. You’re correct, of course. I will still grumble that in order to find that information, you have to jump to 24/7 — which only includes the 8-point stat — then jump again to the original story.

        Grumble grumble.

        1. Yeah and then in the final actual article the youth numbers are buried despite it being in the title. An exhausting experience all around.

  14. 10 Things To Avoid Doing When Hitting Me (The author of this piece).

    4. Don’t leave your sexuality at the door

    There have been a remarkable number of men apparently hitting on me, who I only realized later were attempting to do so. I’ve been stunned — stunned — to discover that they were interested in me sexually. Bottom line, guys: if you aren’t owning and feeling your sexuality, I’m not gonna feel it.

    I think a lot of men suppress the fact that they want to fuck because they want to make women “feel comfortable.” The problem is, flirting and sex appeal are by definition slightly uncomfortable. That’s why it’s called sexual tension. How many times have you heard a girl say, “It was so hot how I was in my comfort zone the whole time I was around him…”?

    The truth is, you making me feel comfortable will usually make me so “comfortable” that I miss the fact that you’re dtf. Because when you act all buddy buddy with me, I assume you just want to be my buddy.

    Nobody wants to fuck Mr. Nice Guy. So stop being him if you want to fuck.

    1. you missed a very important preposition in the title

      1. I was channeling my inner Virginian.

      2. …, asshole!

      3. He’s just expressing what he wants to do after reading the article.

      4. I think it was perfectly fine; a little BDSM for someone who wants to be submissive.

        Scanning the remainder of the article does make me want to punch her just a little.

      5. you missed a very important preposition in the title

        No shit.

    2. Great–every PUA that reads this shit is going to go, “See? SEE?! NEGGING WORKS!”

      1. Of course it works, or they would stop doing it. Bear in mind that in PUA rejections are meaningless as long as you get someone each time you go out to pick someone up.

      2. Watching the feminist talking points on negging evolve has been fun.

        First it was “This would never work, and you’re stupid for thinking it would”.

        Then it was “it may work, but only on a very small portion of the population”.

        And now they’ve arrived at “ok, it works on a large portion of the population, but you should never use it, because…..(and here the different reasons are multitudinous)”.

    3. There’s nothing more sexy to me as a man than when women make me pass a series of silly and arbitrary tests in order to meet their standards.

      Maybe a little less gender Stratego and a little more talking to other human beings could be in order.

      1. Have y’all seen the Gillette grooming tool ad where the presenter talks about what body hair the men should have for the example women to enjoy, including the woman who wants a totally hairless man and “doesn’t think there’s anything weird about that”?

        I’m just wondering how that conversation would go IRL and if most woman would be insulted if you asked how shaved she is.

        1. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen commercials more douchey than those. “This is Genesis…” Fuck.

        2. You need to stop listening to that woman and listen to him instead.

        3. I cannot freakin’ STAND hairless, waxed, Abercrombie & Fitch wannabes….sorry, hot button.

        4. Yeah, that dude is such a tool, I don’t even want to try the razor.

      2. Talk about *feelings*? Where do you think you are, HuffPo?

      3. My only test is “Chevy or Ford?”

        The only answer that is a FAIL is “What do you mean?”

        1. Harrison Ford holds up much better than Chevy Chase

          1. That would be one of many correct answers!

        2. Neither.

          Chevy is a company that extorted billions of dollars from the taxpayers, and Ford’s seats are really fucking uncomfortable.

          That’s why I drive a Tundra.

          1. Both of them tow a hell of lot better than a Tundra, but otherwise, I agree.

            1. Tundra has better ground clearance, which IMO is more important in the hunting camp.

              1. Although, I actually own a 97 Jimmy. I’ll drive it until it quits.

                Won’t buy another.

        3. Do they have to piss on one of them right there in front of you?

        4. AMC. Yes, I’m serious.

        5. These are all correct answers. Except BMW. That’s only partially correct. If it’s one of these, it’s so very, very wrong.

          1. I would think an X5 would also be incorrect. But I am very much a double dutch reverse truck snob.

      4. There’s nothing more sexy to me as a man than when women make me pass a series of silly and arbitrary tests in order to meet their standards.

        Spoken like a man who’s never been married. I drink to you, sir. I agree with you, but welcome to the female of the species. Testers gon’ test.

    4. You know who is a genious at knowing what women want?

      George Lucas.

    5. Nobody wants to fuck Mr. Nice Guy. So stop being him if you want to fuck.

      I have nothing to complain about with what this woman says. Nothing. At all. She speaks the truth.

      1. I bet every guy who spends more than five minutes with the authoress suddenly becomes “Mr. Nice Guy.”

      2. Don’t be a dick. Don’t be a Nice Guy. Don’t be a PUA. Don’t be too aggressive, don’t be wishy-washy.

        Gosh, it seems like the only thing that will work is to be perfect.

        1. Never heard of “too perfect,” I take it?

          1. Fortunately I have no chance of that so I’ll just have to settle for seeming like a creepy weirdo to turn women off.

            1. That underaged webcam girl comment wasn’t a bad start.

          2. Never heard of “too perfect,” I take it?

            *golf clap*

    6. Approximately half of those are actually good advice. Are you sure this isn’t a guy writing under a pseudonym?

      1. I too am suspicious. But even if it were, the guy is giving correct advice.

        The hottest chick I know ended up sleeping with a guy about whom she routinely complained made inappropriate comments, sent unwanted sexually themed texts, and generally creeped her out.

        Comfort zone indeed.

    7. I don’t really care how much money you make or what kind of car you drive. I mean, I care, but I don’t care that much.

      I don’t care how much money you make. Ok, I care, but I don’t want to say I care, so don’t bring it up. I’ll determine if you’re too poor later.

  15. Not sure if there’s still a Monkey Tuesday, but I submit this entry. http://imgur.com/gallery/0H8YTjm

    1. It’s Monday, Ska.

      1. Had to make it to the editor before print and all that.

      2. He just wanted to beat FoE by being early.

    2. That’s about all that’s left, lately, barring the occasional python restaurant post, but you’re very late.

      1. Alright, but at least I had the proper spirit in my heart.

        1. Indeed. There’s little more entertaining than monkey jockeys.

      2. Your website crashed my ‘puter… again.

  16. 400-year-old skeleton of aboriginal woman found in Sarnia backyard costs couple $5,000

    Sauve said people have been telling her that if they end up in a similar situation, they won’t alert authorities and risk having to fork over the cash to pay the bill.

    1. Law of unintended consequences, how do it work?

    2. Under Ontario’s Funeral, Burial and Cremation Services Act, property owners are responsible for the costs of an archeological assessment if human remains are found on their land.

      The owners of the property at the time of the death, right?

    3. PJ O’Rourke wrote about this years ago with respect to endangered species and wetlands. Basically, the parody argument goes that if you find a Picasso in your attic you should be required to pay for its restoration and for building a museum on your property to display it. This is supposed to result in the preservation of art rather than quietly burning any found art in the backyard.

    4. Fuck that. If I ever find any such evidence, so much as a bead or a piece of pottery on my land I am burying/burning/destroying the shit.

      Same goes for endangered species.

      1. “Shoot, shovel, and shut up.”

  17. The shine is wearing off Obama, but will they see the two-party system for the fraud it is or will their lockstep progressivism return under Hillary’s candidacy?

    1. I expect the latter. It’s all about the right people(tm) since the system itself is clearly flawless.

    2. Except neither Obama or Clinton is truly a progressive. The proggies I know view both as corporatist liberals. They are truly excited about Biden, though.

      1. I didn’t realize a willingness to spout any crazy nonsense is presidential.

      2. *Beau* Biden?!

      3. They are truly excited about Biden, though.

        Are they retarded?

        1. Partisan politics does seem to be detrimental to IQ.

      4. I’m just reporting what I hear, guys. Draw your own conclusions.

        1. I don’t know nothin ’bout nothin. But word on tha street is about a pimp named Silky.

          (Props to itsnotmeitsyou.)

          1. *bows*

            I aim to please. And for the heart.

    3. Progressives couldn’t give a shit about Obama’s Scandalpalooza. They’d happily pull the lever for Stalin if given that choice.

  18. Snowden on the latest smear:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/worl…..stleblower

    This is a predictable smear that I anticipated before going public, as the US media has a knee-jerk “RED CHINA!” reaction to anything involving HK or the PRC, and is intended to distract from the issue of US government misconduct. Ask yourself: if I were a Chinese spy, why wouldn’t I have flown directly into Beijing? I could be living in a palace petting a phoenix by now.

    Bet there are bored staffers at the NSA reading that thinking, ‘my own palace? . . my own pet phoenix?’

    1. “Petting a phoenix?” Is that some sort of euphemism?

      1. I’ve got a phoenix in pants, baby, and its on the rise.

        1. FIRE CROTCH!

      2. “You have to be veeewy careful!”

    2. petting a phoenix

      Goddammit, this fuckin’ traitor is bragging about his proficiency in Chinese sex acts that are banned in Mississippi, South Dakota, and the Virgin Islands.

      Can we please drone him now? For the children?

    1. You should have warned us that they would quote Robert Parker.

    2. Man, I was betting on Irish not wine.

    3. When they come up with a rifled champagne bottle it will be outlawed in New York.

    4. Geez, how am I supposed to be a proper wine wankersnob. A few years ago I was told it was OK to by wine with screw caps.

  19. Unpaid interns suing company

    Internships are actually meant to provide benefit to the intern and no benefit to the employer, and indeed, even hinder the employer if it benefits the training of the intern.

    why the fuck would I ever hire an intern if it provides me with no benefits?

    1. It’s better for there to be no internships, than for there to be internships that aren’t perfect.

      Or something.

      1. There’s a test for internships:

        The Test For Unpaid Interns

        There are some circumstances under which individuals who participate in “for-profit” private sector internships or training programs may do so without compensation. The Supreme Court has held that the term “suffer or permit to work” cannot be interpreted so as to make a person whose work serves only his or her own interest an employee of another who provides aid or instruction. This may apply to interns who receive training for their own educational benefit if the training meets certain criteria. The determination of whether an internship or training program meets this exclusion depends upon all of the facts and circumstances of each such program.

        (cont’d)

      2. The following six criteria must be applied when making this determination:

        * The internship, even though it includes actual operation of the facilities of the employer, is similar to training which would be given in an educational environment;

        * The internship experience is for the benefit of the intern;

        * The intern does not displace regular employees, but works under close supervision of existing staff;

        * The employer that provides the training derives no immediate advantage from the activities of the intern; and on occasion its operations may actually be impeded;

        * The intern is not necessarily entitled to a job at the conclusion of the internship; and

        * The employer and the intern understand that the intern is not entitled to wages for the time spent in the internship.

        1. These two sued the business only after discovering that Fox had violated the legal terms of their internship. Not an ethical or contractual standard, but the subjective basis of the federal regulation. If that’s not a Fuck You I Got Mine attitude, I’m not sure what qualifies.

    2. What a way to make a splash in your professional field. “What experience do you have working in this line of work?” “Well, I sued the pants off my former employer over my unpaid internship.” “…We’ll get back to you. There’s the door.”

      1. I think we’re probably angling for public sector employment after this.

        1. Employment regulation?

          1. Someone has to make employment even more difficult.

            1. You mean private sector employment, right?

    3. It let’s you test drive a potential future employee while at the same time increasing their chances of coming to work for you after graduation.

    4. I did a few unpaid internships. They always wrote me a check at the end of the term, a bonus for good performance. Young people – you are doing this wrong.

  20. http://www.theatlanticwire.com…..all/66283/

    So, would a cup of coffee or a study guide be an example of “academic doping”?

    1. A study guide is a training device more in the vein of a set of weights, so probably not. I suppose coffee increases the amount of potential training time by altering body chemistry, so that could be targeted.

      But much like there’s an arbitrary line between whey powder and steroids, I suppose there would be an arbitrary line between Jet Alert and Adderall.

    2. So he wants kids to use large amounts of the totally safe and not addictive caffeine?

    1. The people I know that constantly post Zen musings and pithy little statements about peace & enlightenment on their Facebook walls are always the most tightly-wound. Always.

      To quote a TV asshole: “How’s that workin out for ya?”

      1. What is the sound of one hand fapping?

        1. Yes. Yes it is.

  21. Secrets of Roman concrete revealed: CASH better than CSH, greater durability and fewer greenhouse gasses emitted.

    http://newscenter.lbl.gov/news…..-concrete/

    This is actually pretty cool so don’t be put off by the greenhouse gas thing.

    1. At last, my plans to build my own aqueduct have been realized.

      1. Aqua Buddha!

    2. Why was this a secret? According to the article, this recipe was recorded by the Romans.

      “First Vitruvius, an engineer for the Emperor Augustus, and later Pliny the Elder recorded that the best maritime concrete was made with ash from volcanic regions of the Gulf of Naples (Pliny died in the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius that buried Pompeii), especially from sites near today’s seaside town of Pozzuoli.”

      I bet some gov’t jerkoff some time ago decreed that Portland cement must be used over all other options, for reasons involving a payoff.

    3. I guess CASH is king after all.

  22. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lo…..37421.html

    If you happen to find a body buried on your property in Canada…

    1. They violated rule #28: Never involve the police.

    2. This story is much more interesting.

    1. NOOOOOO!!! They took it down.

      1. I think they are still here.

  23. AUCKLAND, New Zealand – A man was recovering in a hospital Monday after surviving a plunge from the 15th floor of his New Zealand apartment building.
    Police said the 20-year-old man discovered he was locked out of his 14th floor unit in the Volt Apartment building in downtown Auckland at about 2 a.m. Sunday.
    He decided to try and scale down the outside of the building from an apartment directly above his. Police said he was trying to land on his balcony when he fell, landing on the roof of an adjacent building far below.

    1. I’m betting on alcohol being involved.

      1. BATH SALTZ!!

        1. Jeezus – I had totally forgotten about that shizz. I guess it went the way of crack babies, jenkem, and the dodo.

  24. Today’s Canadian city with a corrupt mayor is Montreal!

    1. Montreal and corruption? Unpossible.

    2. Today’s Canadian city with a corrupt mayor is Montreal ALL OF THEM!!!

  25. Paul Krugman: Dream a Little Dream with Me

    Last week, the International Monetary Fund, whose normal role is that of stern disciplinarian to spendthrift governments, gave the United States some unusual advice.

    “Lighten up,” urged the fund. “Enjoy life! Seize the day!”

    OK, fund officials didn’t use quite those words, but they came close, with an article in IMF Survey magazine titled “Ease Off Spending Cuts to Boost U.S. Recovery.” In its more formal statement, the fund argued that the sequester and other forms of fiscal contraction will cut this year’s U.S. growth rate by almost half, undermining what might otherwise have been a fairly vigorous recovery. And these spending cuts are both unwise and unnecessary.

    The Debt Czar’s advice, naturally, is to incur more debt.

    Brilliant! Why has no one thought of that before?

    1. How about the IMF sending some money our way for a change? Maybe a ten trillion dollar loan?

      1. Stop borrowing (from) yourself! Stop borrowing (from) yourself! Stop borrowing (from) yourself!

        1. I, of course, advocate borrowing from the Galactic Empire.

          1. How about we just borrow from Kruggy? If going into debt is such a fantastic thing surely he would be willing to lend the US several trillion dollars at an excellent rate.

            To paraphrase my father, we’d rather owe him for the rest of our lives than cheat him out of it.

          2. Of course you would, Darth Libertate.

            1. Not that empire–that’s a different galaxy.

    2. “…. undermining what might otherwise have been a fairly vigorous recovery.”

      Now, not only would the recession have been much worse if they hadnt done what they did, but obstructionists caused us to lose out on a VIGOROUS recovery.

      I think whoever suggested that Krugman is actually a Dadaist performance artist is correct.

    3. The IMF also released a study last year that showed raising taxes in a recession never eased the recession – in fact, it prolonged it. I guess Krugnuts missed that one.

  26. “Few, obviously, would object to such an aim, but do consider how such technology could be further abused.”

    One nice aspect might be a version of the “Blank Slate” application from TDKR.

  27. Few, obviously, would object to such an aim, but do consider how such technology could be further abused.

    Then we go after those who abuse it. Worrying about what someone might do with a particular technology is like worrying about guns because people might use them for nefarious purposes.

  28. lol, youll never delete cp from the internet, too many encrypted networks like the Deep Web lol

    http://www.cyber-privacy.net

    1. You would know

    2. Ah, after lying low for a while, pedo-bot once again let’s the mask slip.

  29. Replacing a door in the People’s Republic of Portlandia.

    Well over four months just to replace a front door. The city’s decision in 9 pages allows the owner to do so but there’s still hope for busybodies such as the neighborhood association’s land use committee that wants the replacement to have a fan light in the door. They can still appeal to the state land use board.

    1. If it were me, I’d find out when the Google Street View car is going to make its next pass, and swap the door, without a fucking permit, the day before the car goes by. No one else is likely to have a photo of your front door, so how are they going to prove the new door hasn’t been there all along?

    2. Did I say they could replace it now? Hah hah. No, now they can apply for a building permit, including four copies of a site plan. And they also need to record the approval decision with the county recorder at their own expense.

    3. They live in a “historic district.” It’s like that everywhere, not just Portland.

  30. So I crossed the border today down here at San Luiz (2nd time in a week) and I’ve got a couple a questions maybe some of you can answer.

    1. Why would it be illegal to carry a gun across the border from MX into the US, when that very same gun is perfectly legal to carry in AZ and was purchased in the US. I can understand the Mexicans being pissed about it (it would have been illegal to take *into* Mexico) but why would BP care if I was bringing it back?

    2. Is it legal for BP to require you to surrender your phone during secondary inspection? The cop *asked* us (not ordered) to leave our phones on the dash but I don’t see why we should have to comply – this isn’t an arrest, heck at this point the don’t even have suspicion that a crime has happened.

    1. You’re trying to use reason in the face of government enforcement. Stop. This is like trying to reason with the weather. You simply prepare for the weather, you don’t reason with it.

  31. Speaking of those other scandals: NSA surveillance leaker Edward Snowden pledged today to release more information that would prove “nakedly, aggressively criminal” behavior by the federal government.

    You know, that Emmanuel Goldstein?er?Edward Snowden is a really bad guy. He’s a traitor of the first order, and I hate him so much!! I. Hate. Him. IhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehimIhatehim?etc.

    *two minutes later*

    Whew! I feel a sense of catharsis, you know?

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.