A.M. Links: More NSA Surveillance Revelations, Backlash, Support for Obamacare at New Low, Mitt Romney Talks 2016 Presidential Candidates


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White House
  • The NSA is reportedly collecting user content, including audio, video, and e-mails, from several leading Internet companies, including Google, Facebook, and Apple. Along with other revelations about surveillance and civil liberties, it's led some Democrats in Washington who were fiercely anti-Bush to begin to treat President Obama the same way, while Congressman Justin Amash is collecting signatures for a letter to the NSA and FBI demanding more information on the size and scope of domestic surveillance.  The New York Times, meanwhile, quietly edited its anti-Obama editorial last night to soften and limit the criticism.
  • The official unemployment rate rose to 7.6 percent.
  • IRS agents in Cincinnati fingered officials in Washington as directing the targeting of tea party groups seeking tax-exempt status.
  • A new poll shows opposition to Obamacare at a new high; 49 percent. Only 37 percent now think it's a good idea.
  • The supposed leader of the Anonymous hackers who involved themselves in bringing attention to the Steubenville, Ohio rape case has apparently been raided by the FBI in relation to the activism.
  • Mitt Romney discussed potential 2016 presidential nominees, slamming Hillary Clinton for her tenure as Secretary of State while calling Chris Christie an "effective governor," heaping praise on Paul Ryan, his former running mate, and saying Rand Paul was a "strong emerging voice" in the GOP. He says the three are very different and Republican primary voters will have to decide what they "think the right path will be."
  • Russian President Vladimir Putin is getting a divorce after 30 years of marriage. He was married?

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  1. The New York Times, meanwhile, quietly edited its anti-Obama editorial last night to soften and limit the criticism.

    So its cred is somewhat diminished.

    1. less than zero?

    2. Fellator fellates.

    3. The new version of the article contains no indication that it has been changed.

      Down the memory hole.

    4. All The Editorials That Are Fit To Rewrite

    5. Winston Smith worked on the rewrite

      1. Winston Smith is now a nonperson.

        Greta Lee improved the accuracy.

    6. Even Pravda wasn’t that craven.

  2. Anyone still wondering why the feds seemed to just drop all that antitrust stuff against Microsoft years ago?

    1. I assume Bill and Bill got together, and the productive Bill paid off the sleazy Bill, who called off the dogs.

      1. Wasn’t that about the same time that Gates started focusing on charity work, too?

        1. What do you think the payoff was? The vast majority of charitable organizations are a way for the incompetent liberals of the world to do well for themselves while feeling good about the “work” they do.

          March of Dimes, for example, owns a private jet for the use of their senior executive staff. They spend well over half their donations on themselves. Contrast that with the Salvation Army.

          1. March of Dimes is still around? I thought polio was eliminated decades ago.

            1. Founded in 1938, Salk vaccine was 1955. Yet they still endure. Their president makes over 600,000 dollars.

              Non profits are, by and large, total bullshit.

          2. And the Susan Komen foundation donates a whole 15 percent to research.

  3. But what’s the real unemployment rate? It’s terrible out there.

    1. fwiw…the birth-death model used by DOL added 205,000 jobs to the unadjusted number. So combined with the net loss of 12,000 jobs in the adjusted data (april-may), I’d say…you are right!

      1. Yeah, I love how the ‘unadjusted’ number was adjusted based on some fantasy bullshit.

    2. +178,000 new private sector jobs this month.

      Government jobs fell again.

      U6 is 14%.

      1. BUSGPIGS!!111!!CHRISTFAGS!!111!!!1

        1. “It’s a good life. It’s real good, Anthony!”

      2. +178,000 new private sector jobs this month.

        IOW, typical May numbers.

      3. And The Sequester is yet to fully kick in! Or as a CNBC reporter put it this morning, most government agencies didn’t think Congress was “stupid enough” to go through with the sequester, so they held off on any cuts until now.

  4. The power of music: Hilarious pictures of Japanese schoolchildren deploying tubas to blow their friends away

    These kids would be sitting in a jail cell if they tried that in the Land of the Free. Pretending that instruments are weapons? Zero tolerance, kid. The cops are on their way.

  5. Mitt Romney discussed potential 2016 presidential nominees, slamming Hillary Clinton for her tenure as Secretary of State while calling Chris Christie an “effective governor,” heaping praise on Paul Ryan, his former running mate, and saying Rand Paul was a “strong emerging voice” in the GOP.

    He had me then he lost me then he had me again.

    1. He had me for roughly 47% of his statement.

      1. By weight or unit count?

        1. The hot air proved difficult to measure weight due to the effect of bouyancy. We used liters of agreement as our unit of measure.

  6. World’s biggest tyre graveyard: Incredible images of Kuwaiti landfill site that is home to SEVEN MILLION wheels and so huge it can be seen from space

    Comment are derpaliscious. They don’t seem to understand that “seen from space” means “able to see with naked eye” not “able to see with magnification.” Morons.

    1. What the fuck is a tyre?

      1. A city near Nineveh. Duh.

        1. Far-called our navies melt away?
          On dune and headland sinks the fire?
          Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
          Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
          Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
          Lest we forget?lest we forget!

  7. Neighbors Really Hate Arizona Man’s Giant Gargoyle Cock Sculpture


    1. That is awesome.

    2. Smith has so far stood resolutely behind his gargoyle

      Yeah. I’d be afraid to stand in front of it too.

      1. +1 Satanic schlong

  8. The NSA is reportedly collecting user content, including audio, video, and e-mails, from several leading Internet companies, including Google, Facebook, and Apple.

    The revival of Myspace and Friendster is imminent.

    1. Will it matter?

      As soon as they get any scale at all the fascist state will embrace them.

  9. The ghost fleet of Chuuk Lagoon: World’s biggest ship graveyard lies at site of WW2 battle where US crushed Japanese fleet

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z2VXEnOSaJ

  10. John Yoo: Verizon Controversy Not As Bad As It Seems

    I’ve got a forthcoming piece in USA Today discussing the controversy over revelations that the Obama Administration has been collecting data on Verizon phone calls thanks to authorization via a FISA Court. My position is that the data collecting isn’t unconstitutional because the Fourth Amendment only protects the content of phone calls and not information on the dialed numbers, length of the calls, etc.

    I’m glad that the libs can finally agree with Yoo on something.

    1. Hah! Too bad the Founders put in all that stuff about “unreasonable”!

      1. dude, Yoo just don’t get it…the founderz didn’t say anything about interwebz and smart phones. Only printing presses and muskets.


    2. Coming from the guy who brought us Face/Off and Mission: Impossible II, this kind of poor judgment shouldn’t be surprising.

      1. I liked “The Killer”

        but his work went downhill after leaving Hong Kong.

    3. I’m glad that the libs can finally agree with Yoo on something.

      They’ve also rediscovered their affinity with McCain and Lindsey too.

    4. “I’m glad that the libs can finally agree with Yoo on something.”

      They do that voodoo that Yoo does so well.

    5. John Yoo is still a free man? Why?

  11. IRS agents in Cincinnati fingered officials in Washington

    Paging Sugarfree… Please pick up the black courtesy phone…

  12. Only 37 percent now think it’s a good idea.

    Who are these people?

    1. I think they all either have Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Lups,or cancer

      1. It’s NEVER Lups.

  13. Friend of reason Drew Carey defends taxpayers against rape:


    A 33-year old man has 22 children by 14 different women. Man, I got tired just writing that.


    1. They ought to study his swimmers for fertility clinics.

    2. Drew Carey is going against STEVE SMITH? God bless him.

      1. He had beeter have the blessing of the Almighty, or he will end up RAPED TO DEATH.

    3. Hey, survival of the fittest. His genes are getting out there.

  14. A new poll shows…

    Did anyone stop to think that the NSA was maybe just making a more accurate foray into the lucrative world of phone-polling?

  15. http://publishersweekly.com/97…..1039-211-2

    Review of Balko’s extended nut punch.

  16. Like we didn’t see this coming:

    Wine, Beer and Spirits Could Get Nutrition Labels

    Wine, beer and spirits manufacturers may soon have to disclose calorie content and other nutritional information on bottles and cans. But for now, such labeling remains optional.

    The U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, which is part of the Treasury Department, proposed a labeling rule in 2007 that would require alcoholic beverage manufacturers to include calories, carbohydrates, fat and protein content on their labels, but it has yet to make a decision on whether to implement the rule. It announced last week that manufacturers could add this information if they wanted to.

    1. Yeah but what does the FDA have to say about this? I can imagine the health nannies getting all up in arms – “if it’s got a nutritional label, then people will think it’s food…OMG!!1!”

      Also, protein content? WTF?

      1. Also, protein content? WTF?

        So much for Warty’s “special” homebrew.

      2. mmm, meat whisky

        1. Laphroiag’s 12 year old Bacon Single Malt

          Glenmorangie’s 15 year old Filet Whiskey matured in Port Casks

          Aardbeg’s 10 year old T-Bone Quarter Cask


      3. Malted barley is full of protein.

    2. Jesus, the market is already taking care of this. There are all kinds of low cal/carb beer/wine/liquors that are advertised and clearly labeled as such.

      1. Yes, but the calorie counters need to know exactly how many calories. They’re totally OCD about that shit.

        1. But they do put the exact calories on the low cal ones. Fuck its even in Miller 64’s name.

          1. By caloric content vs. ABV, my math says that Miller 64 can contain nothing but water, alcohol, and non-caloric coloring.

            1. “non-caloric coloring”


          2. Didn’t know that. I like strong, manly beers.

            1. Well I don’t drink them either but there is a huge competition among the big breweries to spit out lite and super lite beers. They all heavily advertise the calorie and carb counts on the packaging.

    3. Yeah, because I drink alcohol for its nutritional value.

      1. Wow, you too?! Good to know I am not alone.

        Port has lots of vitamins, right?

          1. http://www.marksdailyapple.com…..z2VXikUUNS

            In my world Guinness is tasty but a very poor choice among alcohol.

            1. Glad I don’t live in your world. The ONLY consideration I have in choosing alcohol is flavor. If it tastes good, I’ll drink it. Even girly drinks.

        1. Liquid bread.

        2. It is fortified!

  17. Why doesn’t the GOP House do something constructive for once and vote to repeal the Patriot Act?

    They have had dozens of votes on new abortion/contraception restrictions.

    1. Have they really? The US House has introduced federal abortion restrictions?

    2. Shrike, why don’t you go do something constructive for once like play in traffic?

      1. Who are you and why do new posters know my old name?

        1. Because it’s part of the training for libertarian commenters. Remember…uh, maybe not.

        2. There’s a Chrome plug in that adds complete posting history detail next to your name, so everyone can know that you used to be shrike.

          1. There’s a Chrome plug in that adds complete posting history detail

            Where can I get that?

            1. You can’t, but the NSA can!

              1. Their list of my aliases is too long to store on a single server.

        3. I never saw you post under your old name, but I still know it.

        4. I’m from the H&R commenters and I’m here to help!

          1. I’m from the government… wait, why are you running away screaming? I haven’t even told you why I’m here! We just want to ‘help’ you!

        5. You’re infamous. Like gonorrhea.

          1. Which is now resistant to antibiotics.

          2. Further, long term lurkers have been around long enough to have seen old Shriek posts. I know I have.

    3. The House R’s should offer to repeal the Patriot Act if the Dems agree to repeal Obamacare

      1. You say that as if Team BLUE is against the Patriot Act.

        1. Aren’t they? One of their former senators voted against it.

      2. They actually should. If everybody went along with this plan this entire Congress would go down in history as great bi-partisan compromisers.

        1. The best part (for them) is that there’s no risk of it being anything other than a symbolic gesture, thanks to the Senate.

    4. 1. Republicans aren’t against the PA. Only a handful of libertarian leaning ones are.

      2. Obama’s Patriot Act could have gone into that great goodnight but your butt buddy reauthorized the motherfucker. Twice.

  18. IRS agents in Cincinnati fingered officials in Washington as directing the targeting of tea party groups seeking tax-exempt status.

    They also learned passing-the-buck from them.

    1. So, ultimately, it’s the fault of the voters.

      1. Really, it’s the libertarians. They should have been stopping this stuff if they weren’t so evilly against paying for women’s contraceptives and trying to get corporations to be people capable of owning guns.

      2. but wait, O told me that the government WAS the people.

        1. He never said which people

          1. TOP people

    2. Bosses get paid more because they are supposed to take responsibility. I’m not falling on my sword for some fucking politico. Good for them. Name names and leak documents.

  19. http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrew…..-for-a-job

    Recovery Fever!

  20. The supposed leader of the Anonymous hackers who involved themselves in bringing attention to the Steubenville, Ohio rape case has apparently been raided by the FBI in relation to the activism.

    “How dare you make us do our jobs!”

  21. A new poll shows opposition to Obamacare at a new high; 49 percent. Only 37 percent now think it’s a good idea.

    I wonder if they’ve had enough time to find out what’s in it yet.

    1. Note that the question is whether it’s a good *idea*, as opposed to a good *law*.

      1. That’s not really a distinction I would make, but I can see others making it.

        1. Well, I’m being a *bit* glib.

          But, seriously, would that the pollsters did an opinion slice on people who *have read the actual legislation*.

          1. So, no one?

            1. “New Reason-Rupe Poll Reveals No One Has RTFL”

              1. Auric’s comment on the article: “And a Poll reveals no commenters have read the alt-text”

  22. Meanwhile in Australia:

    Arnhem Land rangers ask for help in tackling growing giant ‘super cat’ menace

    Giant feral cats as big as goats are rampaging through Arnhem Land in the Northern Territory.

    The Warddeken ranger group is seeking extra Federal Funding to combat the oversized-cat plague.


    Festival of the Vagina comes to Sydney

    On 29 June 2013, Sydney will host Australia’s second Festival of the Vagina. The first was held in Melbourne in March as part of the 101 Vagina Book Launch and Exhibition, and attracted around 1000 visitors.

    Philip Werner, the curator of the Festival of the Vagina and creator of the 101 Vagina project, will be bringing together Sydney’s diverse artists, educators, performers, and musicians, with the common purpose of removing the taboo and shame that many people still feel around their genitalia. He has also begun work on the 101 Penis project.

    1. So it looks like pussy stories are now outnumbering from llama stories

    2. Also I thought it was evil, sexist and othering to concentrate on individual body parts of woman. Or am I just a man and wrong no matter what I do or say?

    3. Vagina Book Launch and Exhibition

      hmm. What will be on display?

    4. So, it’s all about pussy in Australia.

    5. The Warddeken ranger group is seeking extra Federal Funding to combat the oversized-cat plague.

      I imagine that a gun here and there would help a lot more than “Federal Funding.” But the Ozzies are too sophisticated than to allow citizens to take care of problems without a government proxy that will cost 3x as much and take 5x as long.

    6. So, a new species of animal has appeared and the first thing they want to do is make it extinct. Nice.

      1. Why don’t they just encourage the cats to walk under drop bear infested trees?

  23. Google News’s front page has items on the Verizon tapping but nothing on the latest Internet monitoring scandal. Hmmmmm.

    1. They’re tricking you into actively searching for it.

      1. The internet makes you lazy! It’s true.

  24. Carney says: To succeed, GOP needs to make war (not love) against Big Business, the politically connected, and the wealthy.


    National Journal trumpets: Republicans have a problem with young voters. Democrats have a problem with young nonvoters.


    1. “Carney says: To succeed, GOP needs to make war (not love) against Big Business, the politically connected, and the wealthy.”

      Isnt that what they have been doing by going after Captain Shitweasel’s administration?

    2. To succeed, GOP needs to make war (not love) against Big Business, the politically connected, and the wealthy.

      Or they could make big business, the politically connected, and the wealthy a non-factor by limiting the size and scope of government so that no one, regardless of party affiliation, can be unduly influenced by said entities.

  25. ‘Black people are like animals’: Racist Facebook rants gets 911 operator fired

    Judging by the picture, I’d have to say she’s not guilty. Definitely not guilty.

    1. Dallas City Councilman Dwaine Caraway told WFAA that the incident ’embarrasses not just the department, it embarrasses the city.

      Says a man dressed like that.

      1. Dallas does fine embarrassing itself without this operator chick.

      2. Says a man dressed like that.

        That’s as bad a shirt as I’ve seen ever. And matching it with the purple tie is criminal.

        1. 1991 is back, baby!

    2. Absurd, she’s clearly guilty and a disgusting, filthy girl. I for, one, am prepared to personally administer a punishment that fits her crime.

      1. DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty person, and she must pay the penalty — and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!

        GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!

        DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me.

        VARIOUS GIRLS: And spank me. And me. And me.

        DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!

        GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!

        1. DINGO: And then, the oral sex!

    3. How does one negotiate quid pro quo from the jury box?

    4. Another said: ‘You want to call 911 cause your boyfriend put his hands on you and you want to press charges when you don’t even know his real name?!
      ‘Sure let’s make a police report for Dino, that is his street name.’

      Upgrayedd’s gonna be pissed when he finds out about Dino.

  26. U.S. quietly allows military aid to Egypt despite rights concerns

    Secretary of State John Kerry quietly acted last month to give Egypt $1.3 billion in U.S. military aid, deciding that this was in the national interest despite Egypt’s failure to meet democracy standards.

    Kerry made the decision well before an Egyptian court this week convicted 43 democracy workers, including 16 Americans, in what the United States regards as a politically motivated case against pro-democracy non-governmental organizations.

    I’m wondering if the U.S. can meet democracy standards.

    1. “””Egypt’s failure to meet democracy standards.””‘

      Since it has not been a democracy since the US started giving it money then how has anything changed?

      I suspect that the meaning of democracy that they are using is not a government which gets the most votes in Egypt but a government in Egypt that the government in Washington likes.

    2. Secretary of State John Kerry quietly acted last month to give Egypt $1.3 billion in U.S. military aid, deciding that this was in the national interest despite Egypt’s failure to meet democracy standards.

      I’m so glad that an unelected bureaucrat can give away my money to thugs because he sees fit to do so.

      Fuck foreign aid. All of it.

  27. American film superstar Scarlett Johansson is suing the editor of a French novel over a character named after her, it emerged on Friday. The book’s author said he was saddened by the lawsuit, declaring for Johansson’s benefit, “I love you.”


    1. Probably just wanted to meet her in person for negotiations.

  28. No comment required here:

    Officers: EM man squeezed cop’s testicles

    An East Moline man’s facing charges in Rock Island after authorities say he snatched a police officer’s gun and then grabbed and squeezed the officer’s testicles.

    The Rock Island Argus reports 60-year-old Edward White Johnson was arrested Tuesday afternoon.

    1. When are we kickstarting a statue to this hero?

      1. There are more important Kickstarter projects. Like this one: creating a giant inflatable sculpture of Lionel Richie’s Head

        1. Fucking hipsters.

          1. I hate hipsters as much as you, but the next time you disparage Lionel Ritchie, we’re gonna have to throw down.

            1. Hello. Is it Brett you’re looking for?

              1. I haven’t got a clue.

            2. Look, all I’m saying is that writing “Brickhouse” doesn’t excuse his solo career. Even Wikipedia describes him as “the black Barry Manilow”. The evidence is pretty damning.

              1. Daybreak tomorrow. Bring your pistol! If you’re awake, that is. I probably won’t be.

                1. You seem more of slapfight kind of guy based on your musical preferences anyhow.

        2. middle of the road
          man it stanks
          lets run over lionel ritchie
          with a tank

          – Billy and the Boingers

  29. some cool pics:

    Heracleion Photos: Lost Egyptian City Revealed After 1,200 Years Under Sea

    1. How does a port city ‘sink’ into the mediterranean I wonder? I mean wouldn’t you think this would have been discovered decades ago if it was right off the coast?

      1. Hamburg has a large port and is well inland. New Orleans too.

        1. That makes sense to me that cities on rivers are subject to having their surroundings change rapidly. One of the links in the story says that Heracleion artifacts were buried 6.5 kilometers off the current coastline. That’s a lot of Fluvial depositing!

        2. St. Louis has a large port, and is even further inland.

      2. Rising sea levels caused by global warming. Duh.

        1. I stood in the middle of the “Royal Port at Ur” – 200 some miles into the desert in Iraq. 5000 years ago, coastline…

          1. I thought we’d bombed that to oblivion. Darnit, can’t we even destroy culturual treasures properly anymore?

  30. Along with other revelations about surveillance and civil liberties, it’s led some Democrats in Washington who were fiercely anti-Bush to begin to treat President Obama the same way…

    I look forward to a lot of backtracking as the midterms approach.

    1. Probably, but he’s not up for election anyway. They could always claim that they need more good Democrats to restrain him, because the evil Republicans won’t (since they are too busy evilly obstructianting all the good stuff he’s trying to do).

    1. They were having problems arresting people for resisting arrest, so maybe this is a work around.

      1. They were having problems arresting people for resisting arrest, so maybe this is a work around.


        Judges were starting to see through the “Resisting Arrest” charge, especially when it was the only charge, so lawmakers decided to do cops a solid. Because, you know, the deck isn’t already stacked in their favor or anything.

    2. What happens if you call 911 while he’s raping a hooker? I mean, wouldn’t that be annoying?

  31. Nice alt-text, Ed.

  32. I just threw up a little:

    Beer Brewed with Actual Beard Hair Exists

    Created by Rogue Ales, Brewmaster John Maier came up with the idea on a whim. Just for funsies one day, Maier extracted yeast from his very own beard to produce a sweet, distinct ale, or “Beard Beer.”

    1. old news is old.

      As is his beard.

    2. I might be convinced to drink my own beard beer. But I am not having anyone else’s.

      Space beer, on the other hand….

    3. Yech. I have brewed very small batches with wild yeast around my house (I live in the woods) and while it isn’t terrible most of the time, it’s not terribly good either. I would think it inadvisable to drink a beer fermented with yeast that has adapted itself to living in human hair.

      Also, what does his girlfriend think of it? She probably had a significant role in its production…

    4. Yeah, most home brewers and winemakers avoid wild yeast like the plague because of off flavors and unpredictable results.

      However, this guy is a brewmeister so the “wild” yeast in his beard is probably predominated by strains of the brewer’s yeast pervasive in his workplace.

  33. I watched the Totally Biased episode that Lindy West was on last night (although not the extended interview which I guess is available online.

    1) This girl is NOT funny. At all. She overuses the word “like”, which unfortunately plagues many people of my generation, but it is generally used as a filler word when you don’t actually have a point to make, so it makes perfect sense that she overuses it.

    2) She is WAAAAAY fatter than I would have guessed from the few pictures I’ve seen next to her bylines on Jezebel. As in, not even John would fuck her (hashtag-I’m just sayin’)

    3) She is incapable of any thought outside of “rape culture”. Now, I know my thoughts and reasoning tend to be very liberty-oriented, and it’s tough for me to even imagine something else working, but I can at least converse with people who hold different viewpoints. Her first reaction no matter what is said is “But rape culture!” or “PATRIARCHY!”

    4) Jim Norton OWNED her… but not in a patriarchal domination kind of way. He’s just way funnier and actually has a coherent and easy to follow thought process.

    1. How likely is it to give me a rage stroke? And where can I find it online?

      1. It’s on FX’s website, probably in the Totally Biased section. Although I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to find that it was in some featured section.

        And on the rage stroke scale, at least a 7 (given, I don’t know the limits of the scale). It’s the fact that nothing she says makes any sense that makes you want to punch her in the face… like reading something Tony or Palin’s buttplug writes.

    2. 1) This girl is NOT funny.

      Very few female comedians are (I can’t really think of a single one, to be honest. And don’t tell me Sarah Silverman, because she sucks). If someone wants to pay to hear a woman complain about the same things their wife does every day, go right ahead. But don’t pretend they’re offering anything resembling humor on the stage.

      1. Ellen DeGeneres

        1. The exception that proves the rule. And even then, she’s got those awful JCPenney ads on her resume.

        2. Ellen is a pretty decent interviewer, but as a stand-up, she stank on ice.

          Amy Shumer is funny.

          Maria Bamford, Chelsea hAndler, (when she stays away from politics) and Whitney Cummings are great stand-ups.

          Tina Fey and Amy Pohler are funny in a skit/show format.

      2. Wanda Sykes cracks me up from time to time.

    3. What gb said…

      She’s definitely a rape warrior/true believer, and isn’t even remotely charming.

      What she is is that beard beer mentioned earlier. Just…yech.

      And, the fact that Norton even jokes about making out with her at the end. Damn, I understand he’s had some deviance in his life, but WTFuck, man?!?

  34. In case you forgot what ol’ Obama said:

    Barack Obama believes that we must provide law enforcement the tools it needs to investigate, disrupt, and capture terrorists, but he also believes we need real oversight to avoid jeopardizing the rights and ideals of all Americans. There is no reason we cannot fight terrorism while maintaining our civil liberties. Unfortunately, the current administration has abused the powers given to it by the PATRIOT Act. A March 2007 Justice Department audit found the FBI improperly and, in some cases, illegally used the PATRIOT Act to secretly obtain personal information about American citizens. As president, Barack Obama would revisit the PATRIOT Act to ensure that there is real and robust oversight of tools like National Security Letters, sneak-and-peek searches, and the use of the material witness provision.


    1. and

      Eliminate Warrantless Wiretaps. Barack Obama opposed the Bush Administration’s initial policy on warrantless wiretaps because it crossed the line between protecting our national security and eroding the civil liberties of American citizens. As president, Obama would update the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act to provide greater oversight and accountability to the congressional intelligence committees to prevent future threats to the rule of law.

      1. The man has faced unprecedented opposition by rethuglikkkans. Plus he had way more.important things to do like pass Obamacare and go golfing.

    2. He’s a constitutional lawyer. Don’t you think he understands the restrictions placed on him better than us simple-minded folk?

    3. Auto-reflex defense: He’s nuanced; did voters expect him to hold the same views year after year without critically thinking about how this impacts the world today?

    4. Barack Obama believes that peace is desirable, but he is a realist who also recoginizes the sometimes war is necessary. Barack Obama believes that fre health care is a fundamental right, but realizes that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Or maybe there is such a thing. Yes, we can! But Barack Obama also realizes that sometimes it doesn’t always work. He is a man of high ideals, and hard-headed pragmatism. Barack Obama would revisit the PATRIOT Act, and set up a comission to consider the possibility of maybe removing or ameliorating in some way some less necessary parts that complainy civil rights advocates complain about, and then put them back in so that we can effectively fight terrorism.Barack Obama knows that a cotton-candy rainbow penis is best for federal sodomy, but also knows that once he’s in you, you don’t care what kind it is, and you’ll do anything to get him to pull out. Barack Obama loves you, but also recognizes that you suck.

  35. My position is that the data collecting isn’t unconstitutional because the Fourth Amendment only protects the content of phone calls and not information on the dialed numbers, length of the calls, etc.
    -John Yoo

    I like that. It meshes nicely with the drone targeting policy: “We do not concern ourselves with the substantive actions or content of the discussions of the people in the target zone, we merely blow them up.”

  36. “Are you talking to me in the goddamn pisser?”

    Comparing Glass use to taking a photo or video on a smartphone, the Google chief said “you don’t collapse in terror that someone might be using Glass in the bathroom just the same as you don’t collapse in terror when someone comes in with a smartphone that might take a picture.”

    1. I always look down on people who are on their phone in a communal bathroom.

      Which may be a bit hypocritical because I sometimes do so while alone.

  37. One funny thing to me is that the NSA is a multi-billion dollar agency with vast IT resources – maybe greater IT resources than anyone in the world – and they have the most incredible database technology anyone has ever devised anywhere ever –

    – and the PowerPoint they produced about it looks like my fucking 6 year old made it.

    Seriously, your PowerPoint guy? Fire him.

    Yeah, this is a double post, but I’m so offended by the NSA’s incredible PowerPoint incompetence that I have to post it twice.

    1. Your POV is always interesting, I give you that.

  38. I have to say that even some of my liberal friends have been pissed off over this surveillance crap, and they’ll usually defend Obama over anything.

    Not like it matters though, since they’ll still vote straight blue.

  39. No food, just water and sunlight: Meet the 65-year-old woman who hasn’t eaten in FIVE WEEKS in extreme lifestyle experiment


    Navenna Shine, 65, from Seattle, stopped eating on May 3 in a bid to explore breatharianism – the concept that food is not necessary and sunlight provides all of the nourishment the body needs.

    She didn’t skip the stupid pills, that’s for sure.

    1. At least she’s not starved for attention.

    2. there’s sunshine in Seattle?

      1. If you can survive on Seattle sunshine alone, you can survive on anything, I’d wager. Quick! Get her ass to Mars!

        1. If all she needs to survive is sunlight, just imagine how well she’ll do when the sunlight is filtered by the atmosphere. All those cosmic rays in space, she’ll probably turn into some monster from an old Japanese monster movie.

    3. There are thought to be more than 5,000 breatharianists and light nutritionists worldwide. Despite their claims, medical experiments have found no evidence that there is any way for starving individuals to be kept alive.

      First sentence: that is a lot of incredibly stupid people.

      Second sentence: thanks for clarifying.

    4. Woman thinks she is a plant, then proves that her IQ is the same as a plant’s.

  40. WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Employers stepped up hiring in May in a show of economic resilience that suggests the Federal Reserve could begin to scale back the amount of cash it is pumping into the banking system later this year.

    Way to step up employers! But, careful not to step up too much!


    1. Employers stepped up hiring in May

      So, the total number of jobs from March and April were revised down 12K. The unadjusted figure for May was negative 35K. The unemployment rate is up. But yes, hiring has certainly stepped up!

    2. And yet the unemployment rate rose to 7.6%. I forget do we care about the unemployment rate or the labor force participation rate?

      1. LP dogma now considers only the LFP important.

  41. Much to John’s dismay, the Gaga creature has lost a bit of weight. It almost looks human.

    1. A 17 year old Gaga covering Led Zep’s D’yr-Maker is actually sexy.


      1. I just can’t get past her face. Its ugliness would burn a hole through a paper bag. Ugh.

        1. Forget, sarc, it’s Britface.

  42. Bolivian villagers punish rapist and murderer by throwing him into his victim’s grave and burying him alive

    For some odd reason I have no problem with this.

    1. Earlier this year, a Bolivian police officer was lynched by an angry mob after he was confused with a thief in the city of El Alto.

      Due process, what is it good for anyway?

      1. absolutely nothing! Say it again! /Frankie Goes To Hollywood

    2. I’m still looking for someone to provide the evidence that the person they buried was actually the perpetrator. I have no problem with the interrment of rapists, but I do have a problem if they grabbed the wrong guy.

  43. Everything you could want for a nuclear fallout from Kleenex to unappetizing cans of ‘multi-purpose food’: California couple discover perfectly preserved 1961 fallout shelter 15 feet below their backyard

    “Was that built with the proper permits? No? Well we’re going to have to ask you to fill it in. Or else.”

  44. New umbrella inspired by Space Balls.

  45. The REAL Mowgli: Incredible images of the little girl who spent the first ten years of her life growing up in the African bush


    When Tippi returned to her parents’ native country – France – at the age of ten, it was hard adjusting to city life in Paris.

    Ya think?

    1. Well, the people smell pretty similar to what she’s used to.

    2. So, more Tarzan to Lord Greystoke, actually.

    3. I smell bullshit all over this story. Well, elephant shit really.

    4. Yeah, I don’t think I would let my toddler hang out with a leopard, no matter how ‘tame’ it supposedly is.

  46. http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/st…..-goes-awry


    “The event takes place. The officer takes the purse, runs around the gas station. As he’s running, an off-duty FBI agent is pumping gas. He witnesses the whole thing. He gives chase. He pulls his weapon, and as he turns the corner around the gas station, he’s stopped by another officer, who identifies herself as a police officer and don’t shoot, don’t shoot, this is a scenario,” said Inspector Shawn Gargalino with the Detroit Police Department.

    Would have been so much happier of a story if the agent had killed the cop.

    1. ” It just so happened it’s a gas station where the FBI fills up all their vehicles,” says one guy.

  47. Man who staged 15-year-old’s kidnapping but accidentally killed her ‘tried to grope her a day before he lured her to her death with marijuana’

    Marijuana! Oh no! Blame the marijuana! Damn drugs! It’s the marijuana’s fault!

    1. It would only be “staged” if the girl was in on it.

      1. Yeah, I don’t understanding how people reporting on that story fail to realize this. Well, aside from the fact that they’re journalists and thus are poorly acquainted with logic, of course.

  48. 911 dispatcher LAUGHED when told mental health patient may have stabbed his girlfriend to death

    This isn’t as unusual as you might think.

  49. Bette Midler is a raging liberal douche, but we already knew that.

    1. you know who else is a raging liberal douche?

      1. Don’t blame me, I voted for the turd sandwich.

    2. But she makes up for it by being fat and unattractive.

    3. Nearly 20 percent of Californians live in places where local ordinances prohibit stores from handing out single-use plastic bags

      Talk about a lack of imagination.

  50. Jesus sarc, and you skipped Pics of Kate Upton jumping around?

    1. Upton qualifies as mordbidly obese in sarcasmicworld.

    2. Maybe john is right about him.

    3. Olivia Wilde is still hot!


      1. Even if she’s a Whole Foods shopping liberal douche. It’s not like I’d want to talk with her or anything.

      2. That last photo she looks like she’s thinking, “are those guys the *Daily Mail* paparazzi, or are they just random stalkers?”

    4. The model ? who turns 21 years old next Monday

      I would give away everything I own to be an attendee at that 21st birthday party.

  51. I hope I didn’t get any in your hair.

  52. Connecticut legislature is churning out stupid legislation in overdrive!

    1. The Wright Brothers claim to fame was not just flying a powered aircraft but control of the aircraft in all directions. They invented wing warping which allowed roll control something others had not done. Wing warping was later replaced by ailerons.

    2. They are legislating history?

      Next they will start legislating weather.

    3. And it’s possible that Whitehead did accomplish controlled powered flight, and lived to tell about it. However, without roll control (thanks, DJF), his craft would have been limited to straight line flight; the only control you’d have over a Whitehead craft would be altitude/speed (by varying engine speed).

      There were many almost-made-its in the powered flight race. Ultimately the Wrights get credit because they made the first practical (fully controllable) aircraft.

    4. As a distant cousin of the Wright Bros., I must protest. Besides, you know who else rode in a Condor plane?

    5. “We’re the Wright Brothers, and there can be no other.”


  53. Heal the Waters!

    Ark was a proverbial prog metal supergroup from the early aughts that made 2 epic albums and then disappeared in to nothingness because Jorn Lande, awesome as he is, is a douche. “Heal the Waters” is the opening track from their second album, Burn the Sun. For those who like straight up prog metal with vocals in the Dio school, you’re sure to like Ark.


  54. The sheer volume of the scandalous revelations of late seems almost calibrated to produce fatigue in the voting public, not to mention offering too many leads to follow. There are any number of Pulitzers to be won for investigating this, but it seems only one to be issued per year for investigative journalism. What a shame.

    1. There are any number of Pulitzers to be won for investigating this, but it seems only one to be issued per year for investigative journalism.

      Uh, no? Prizes are only given out when Republican are investigated. Investigating Democrats lands you in prison.

  55. http://www.stuff.co.nz/nationa…..ng-session

    What a bitch.

    1. Let me see if I got this. Instead of attending the session set up for mothers, or accepting those that would have been set up exclusively for her, she demanded to be let into the fathers session, and the school canned the whole thing because they didn’t have spine enough to say “You lack the chromosome required to be a father”?

  56. In these times of scandal, Jezebel remembers the important things: Republicans hate women

    And these little cards are so funny because they’re true, right? They did put 3 white men on a panel about women and minorities! It’s as if they don’t understand intersectionality at all!

    Seriously, feminists, learn to be funny.

  57. Jezebel on why we fight about comedy.

    Then there’s the other side (our side) that questions why one portion of society has more of a right to catharsis than we do. The debate gets even more heated when you throw a sensitive topic like rape into the mix. Joking to heal is one thing, but what if a joke doesn’t heal? What if it actively hurts? Why should one person be denied catharsis so that a hack comic can make a bad joke and not get called out on it?

    This isn’t even a debate because there’s no end or winner. Still, that doesn’t mean we should stop talking about it. The significance of comedy is an ongoing and evolving discussion. If a joke bothers you, you shouldn’t be afraid to say that it bothers you (this is not an endorsement of heckling ? hold off on your conversation until after the show, please). If you’re upset by a trend, you have a right to say that you’re upset by a trend. And, yes, comedians have a right to say whatever they want and that’s fucking great. We need people to push the envelope because that’s often when the best, most profound work happens, but, as Lindy has pointed out time and time again, comedy isn’t untouchable. An individual comedian does not get to determine what anyone else’s catharsis should be and no one gets to determine another person’s coping mechanism.

    1. What’s with the implication that everyone’s catharsis should somehow happen together or something?

      1. Because they’re collectivist scum.

  58. What she’s trying to do is imbue deep meaning on comedy as a way of controlling it, because if comedy isn’t just comedy but some sort of mechanism that keeps us sane, then comedy is far too important to let someone play around with it in the name of just getting a mere laugh.

    Nothing I could ever come up with will ever be as vile as this.

    1. SF, please go back to your blog and change every written instance of “Watery Shits Future-Boy” with either “Lindy West”, or “Madeleine Davies”. Author’s choice.

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