IRS Official Takes the Fifth, Jay Carney Stonewalls on Press Scrutiny, Oklahoma Tornadoes' Toll: P.M. Links


  • Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz
    Wizard of Oz, MGM

    In a sign that some IRS officials actually have heard of the Constitution, Lois Lerner, the head of the tax agency's exempt organizations division, plans to take the Fifth when appearing before a congressional committee investigating targeted scrutiny of conservative groups.

  • The outgoing head of the IRS admits that trying to slip news of the IRS's politicized practices out via a planted question was "an incredibly bad idea."
  • Jay Carney is still not so forthcoming as he gets grilled about the Obama administration's ongoing campaign against journalists. It's gotta suck to be him.
  • A French historian protested his country's approval of gay marriage by … shooting himself in Notre Dame cathedral? Ummm …
  • The current toll from the Oklahoma tornadoes stands at 24 dead and 237 injured. Obviously, as rescuers dig through rubble, the numbers are subject to revision.
  • NASA is looking into 3D-printing food, a technology already under development by a private research firm.
  • New York's capo di tutti capi Governor Andrew Cuomo threatened to remove county sheriffs from their posts if they opposed his favored gun control legislation. So much for that — the sherifffs' association is supporting a legal challenge to the laws.

Get and Reason 24/7 content widgets for your websites.

Follow Reason and Reason 24/7 on Twitter, and like us on Facebook.  You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here. Have a news tip? Send it to us!

NEXT: Pat Robertson Says Tornado Victims Didn't Pray Enough (Update: Referring to 2012 Tornado)

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. The outgoing head of the IRS admits that trying to slip news of the IRS’s politicized practices out via a planted question was “an incredibly bad idea.”

    But the only one the IRS had that they can think of off the top of their heads.





      *cut-away to large space rock

      1. It was only the fact of my genetically-engineered intellect that allowed me to comment first.

        1. I have been and always shall be…your enemy.

          1. Which would make you “Papa”.

        2. So you’re Julian Delphiki II.

          1. +1 little doctor

        3. If you want the Comments you are going to have to COME DOWN HERE! You hear ME! YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO COME DOWN HERE!!!!!!

        4. I’ve got something for you Fist. It’s coming through now…
          1 6 3 0 9

        5. Of course, Jack.

  2. …plans to take the Fifth when appearing before a congressional committee investigating targeted scrutiny of conservative groups.

    This is getting sooooo good.

    1. “I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate the President.”

      1. “I refuse to answer on the grounds that FoE will enjoy it too much for his own safety.”

        1. “I refuse to answer on the grounds of FYTW.”

        2. The thing is, I enjoy the refusal to answer more than I would have enjoyed the lies and obfuscations that would have left her mouth.

          1. While I absolutely support the right of people to invoke the Fifth, it’s not like doing so is often a sign that everything is pureness and light.

            1. “While I absolutely support the right of people to invoke the Fifth, it’s not like doing so is often a sign that everything is pureness and light.”

              Yes, it’s often associated with a certain fragrance…

                1. No, merde.

          2. Especially when it’s a government official doing the invoking.

      2. It’s a real shame that NBC doesn’t allow video clips from SNL on the internet…there’s an awesome one from the 1986-87 season with Dennis Miller demonstrating the latest Christmas Gift–A See-n-Say featuring Oliver North and Admiral Poindexter, among others in the Iran-Contra hearings.

      3. Do you think they should/will offer her partial immunity?

        In any case, she could always conveniently ‘forget’ just like Hills.

    2. I served my country faithfully and honorably in World War II the IRS, and was awarded the Navy Cross a big bonus for actions in defense of my country savior; that I have never been arrested or indicted for any crime whatsoever; that no proof linking me to any criminal conspiracy, whether it is called Mafia Obama campaign or Cosa Nostra or whatever other name you wish to give, has ever been made public. I have not taken refuge behind the Fifth Amendment, although it is my right to do so. I challenge this committee to produce any witness or evidence against me and if they do not I hope they will have the decency to clear my name with the same publicity with which they now have besmirched it.

      1. “Many of my closest friends are Italian-American”

      2. Roman Moroni: I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes… like yourselves.

        1. +1 fargin wall.

        2. +1 88 Magnum

    3. I can barely wait for this one to get started. Plus, it gets us closer to the final season of Breaking Bad.

    4. Please let this keep going and going. We need a giant political enema.

      1. Absolutely, and all signs are that it will keep going for a while.

        1. I love that they mortally offended the media right in the middle of other scandals breaking.

          1. Oh, indeed.

            The spinning and excuse-making by Obama defenders is humorous, and be prepared for a new coordinated surge of it, because a group of lefty pundits were just seen entering the White House. Getting their marching orders, no doubt. Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on that wall?

            1. The cover-up always gets you in more trouble. The scale of this cover-up may reach biblical proportions, with the resulting backlash also of epic scale.

              1. Indeed again. A lot of scandals (Watergate, Whitewater, Iran-Contra come to mind) either don’t have many core events, or many people involved, or at least don’t have very many layers from top to bottom. Here, though, we have hundreds of instances over several years and a big bureaucracy with who knows how many layers. Plus, you’ve got the official chain of command and the parallel one in the form of the National Treasury Employees Union. There will be lots of people to investigate, and lots of opportunity for people to turn state’s evidence. This is too big for a clean cover-up.

                The best thing for the GOP would be to shut up about Obama and just make this about the IRS. (And, to some extent, about government unions: If the NTEU turns out to be heavily involved, decertify them.) When it gets to Obama, then talk about him. But until then, let people draw their own conclusions.

  3. For you gun people.

    1. Guns be trippin’.

    2. What do you mean by “you people”?!

      1. While I’m an ardent 2A supporter I personally find firearms quite boring.

        The only reason I’ve shot in the past year is that I was mildly interested in a girl who apparently likes to shoot.


    Teens are migrating from Facebook to Twitter, bringing their drama and their parents with them.

    1. Do any of them die of digital dysentery?

      1. Eventually their iPhones crash into some rocks.

  5. A French historian protested his country’s approval of gay marriage by … shooting himself in Notre Dame cathedral? Ummm …

    That cathedral has seen some crazy shit in its history.

    1. ? Notre Dame? Mon Dieu!

      1. Obligatory when discussing Notre Dame, my favorite Disney villain song.

        “Be mine or you will burn!” I had no idea Episiarch wrote for Disney back in the 1990s.

        1. Well, it was a rough time for me in terms of my songwriting career. But it helped keep me on my feet until I started writing for Christina Aguilera.

          1. until I started writing for Christina Aguilera.

            Dominique Venner should have saved a bullet for you.

            1. I suppose I had better not tell you that I then moved on to write for Justin Beiber.

              1. You are, as I always suspected, history’s greatest and gayest monster.

                1. Well, I have stated that I’m the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown.

          2. I LOL.

  6. The one bit of good news about the tornado yesterday is the death toll went down. Hopefully it stays down.

    1. That is good news, but how does a death toll go down? Was the first number just a guess? Were they counting some people twice? Were they including the missing? Were there any resurrections?

      I thought a death toll was an actual count of deaths, and only subject to revision upward.

      1. For your information some of those people were only mostly dead. There’s a difference between mostly dead and all dead.

  7. plans to take the Fifth when appearing before a congressional committee investigating targeted scrutiny of conservative groups

    She does not care for this targeted scrutiny of her one bit!

  8. “A French historian protested his country’s approval of gay marriage by shooting himself in Notre Dame cathedral?”

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe this guy had some other problems….

    1. I’m guessing he was closeted.

  9. I think suicide while Catholic is pretty much the one thing actually guaranteed to gain you entry to Hell. Just about any other crime or sin can be forgiven.

    1. But what if the person is wearing a scapular?

    2. I think suicide while being Catholic is pretty much the one thing actually guaranteed to gain you entry to Hell.

      1. Fascinating thing about Catholics and suicide: Catholic doctrine holds that suicide is an affront to God as life is His property and you are merely a steward of it. Fine. Then they go a step further and say that suicide amounts to destruction of property, which makes no sense as God in the Bible resurrects several people from the dead (notably Lazarus, Jairus’ daughter, and the man from Nain).

        Point to this? None whatsoever.

        1. I think the difference for Catholics is that none of the people brought back to life killed themselves beforehand.

          1. Is a person who commits suicide any more or less dead than one who dies from illness?

  10. And so the Gutenburging of guns gets cheaper.

    One evening late last week, a Wisconsin engineer who calls himself “Joe” test-fired a new version of that handgun printed on a $1,725 Lulzbot A0-101 consumer-grade 3D printer, far cheaper than the one used by Defense Distributed. Joe, who asked that I not reveal his full name, loaded the weapon with .380 caliber rounds and fired it nine times, using a string to pull its trigger for safety.

    1. “See?! Already cheap knock-offs are coming out! We need to ban this for the children NOW!”

    2. Pulling the trigger with a string somehow sounds less safe.

      1. You want distance from it in case the barrel blows up. Cannoneers do this with an unfamiliar howitzer using a 50′ lanyard the first time they shoot it.

      2. The problem with polymers is that they fatigue (they actually creep too?deform under applied constant stress, rather than cycling). Aluminum will also fail from fatigue, even from stresses well under its yield strength. At normal temperatures, steel will not fail from fatigue under its endurance limit. You can cycle it indefinitely.

  11. Jay Carney is still not so forthcoming as he gets grilled about the Obama administration’s ongoing campaign against journalists. It’s gotta suck to be him.

    Does Obama even realize he’s being grilled like this? Have any staffers deemed it important enough to pass along?

    1. They don’t disturb the president during nap time.

      1. Usually the guys get a drink, a dog, and check their cell phones at the turn.

    2. I don’t believe that shit for a moment. This is cover-up time, so whatever they admit or claim, the reverse is much more likely true.

    3. Just think of Jay Carney as Squealer from Animal Farm and his current tribulations become much more satisfying.

      Do you know what would happen if we pigs failed in our duty? Bush would come back! Yes, Jones would come back! Surely, comrades,” cried Squealer almost pleadingly, skipping from side to side and whisking his tail, “surely there is no one among you who wants to see Bush come back?”

    1. A fund has been established to help pay the fine, btw.

      1. If I had the money, I would consider contributing to legal representation to sue the shit out of the city, but I would never donate money for the explicit purpose of just handing it to Washington, D.C.

    1. Or maybe she downloaded a virus while doing “research” online.

  12. NASA is looking into 3D-printing food, a technology already under development by a private research firm.

    Will it assault my taste buds, though?

    1. Why does anyone *need* printed food?

    2. I still have absolutely no idea how this could be possible.

    3. Just when you thought school lunches couldn’t get any worse.

    4. What’s the base material Soylent Green? And if you have an edible base material why make it into anything else?

      1. What’s the base material Soylent Green?


        1. People….I meant people….what was I thinking?

    5. The replicators are online, sir.

  13. What could possibly go wrong?

    Securitization, or the channels through which banks repackage loans and farm them off to investors, has hit volume of $225.6 billion by way of 365 deals this year, according to Dealogic.

  14. Once again someone had the nerve to post links to shit metal in the AM Links. In response, take THIS *POW* and THIS *ZOT*.


    Stone Temple Pilots is replacing Scott Weiland with Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington.

    1. By the way, “Trippin’ on a Hole in a Paper Heart” was the last great song from the early 90s alternative rock scene.

      1. There was never a time in the history of history that Stone Temple Pilots was a good band.

        1. The Crow Soundtrack was great and they had a fine contribution to it.

          1. Their contribution to it made it less great than it would have been without.

        2. I listen mostly to alt metal and post-grunge, but even so I’ve never found STP all that appealing.

          1. What about Collective Soul. “Heavy” was the last great 90s post-grunge song, period.

            1. I’m ashamed I backed you on STP now.

              1. Too bad you can’t delete your comments. That STP defense is going to cost you a very lucrative job in the future, you can bet on it.

                1. That STP defense is going to cost you a very lucrative job in the future

                  Please, like Sparky is ever going to be in charge of hiring anyone.

                  1. Dude, I liked/like STP too, they played an awesome show when I saw them in middle school.

                  2. like Sparky is ever going to be in charge of hiring anyone

                    Especially not in fucking Florida.

            2. I haven’t spent much time listening to Collective Soul. I’m checking out “Heavy” on Google Play (#HOLO YOLO!!!!) right now and it seems decent.

              I listen to the likes of Chevelle, 10 Years, Staind, etc

          2. I’m sorry, but the word metal does not belong even in the same paragraph as Stoned Pimple Toilets let alone the same sentence.

            (And just to be certain we’re all on the same page, this is metal:


    2. What? Stone Temple Pearl Jam is still an outfit?

    3. Stone Temple Pilots is the only ’90s band that sucks worse than Pearl Jam.

      1. Wait, I’m sorry, I forgot about Dave Matthews Band.

        1. YOU DO NOT DIS “ANTS MARCHING”!!!!!

  16. NASA is looking into 3D-printing food, a technology already under development by a private research firm.

    No. They get nutrient pastes. It was good enough for Armstrong, it’s good enough for this lot.

    1. Look at the article I linked to below. There’s a diagram with pastes that are combined to make the “pizza.”

      My tummy feels funny.

      1. I would like to try living off only food pastes. Eating would take minimal effort on my part. And I think it would be like a party in my mouth and everybody came.

        1. I thought that was your Saturday night. Every Saturday night.

        2. Episiarch thinks this is the first step to the cube food from TOS. For once, I agree with him.

          1. Well, if ProL agrees, then it has to be wrong, so I’m reversing my opinion and stating that it’s the first step to making robot whores.

            1. Either way, works for me.

            2. Right yet again! It must be Episiarch Day!

          2. Nah, we had Jello back in the 70’s.

        3. party in my mouth and everybody came

          Uh huh, I see what you did there.

        4. There’s a guy doing just that. Well, it’s not paste, it’s powder. He created his own food powder to contain all essential nutrients and just drinks shakes everyday. I can’t find the article at the moment.

          1. That’s just what all bros do.

          2. Honestly, I thought those articles were an art project.

      2. Deep dish?

        1. I don’t see how. Printing stuff is flat, like the thin pizza.

          1. You mean the only pizza, right? Maybe you can get someone to give you printing files for an open-face calzone.

            1. I suppose you might like the printed pizza, given its ability to make a truly two-dimensional pizza. . .like your thinking.

              1. I have to flatten my thinking just to be able to communicate with lower life forms such as yourself, ProL.

                1. Your pattern indicates two-dimensional thinking.

            2. How do you tell the pizza from the box? Or do they just save a step and print the pizza in a box shape?

          2. fuck

        2. Now you’ve done it.

        3. We’re talking 3D printers here, not compost bins

          1. This evil transcends 2-D vs. 3-D pizza.

            1. I want a 4-D pizza just to piss epi off.

              1. If you could make one that is abnormal, non-Euclidian, and loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from ours, I’d be impressed. Then horrified. Then Cthulu would appear and nothing would matter any more anyway.

                1. A 4-D pizza? What is that, a pizza that’s simultaneously raw, cooked, and burned? What’s the point?

                  1. It is also cold and in the fridge waiting for you as well as already digested and awaiting your uh, disposal.

                  2. What is that, a pizza that’s simultaneously raw, cooked, and burned? What’s the point?

                    Sounds exactly like the one and only deep dish I have had. Never again.

                    1. Well, that’s hardly a representative sample. Drop everything and go to Lou’s.

                    2. I feel sorry for you. Visit Chicago sometime.

                  3. To confuse and distress Episiarch, what else?

                    1. Laudable sentiments, to be sure.

                  4. You left out digested…..enjoy your dinner!

                  5. And he built a crooked pizza…

              2. Well, if you could make it thin crust in 3 dimensions and deep dish in the 4th, you might just succeed.

  17. Ah, you saw the 3-D printed food article. But the more distressing angle is shown here. Scroll down to the part about printing. . .pizza. With diagrams. Then scroll down a bit more for other, even more disturbing things.

    1. We already know that eating meat is environmentally unsustainable…

      Do we?

      1. I’m not endorsing the article. I was more pointing it out for the diagrams and the “pizza” business. First, print the crust from a tube of crust paste. Next, add a layer of processed cheese product from the processed cheese product tube. Next, add processed meat product from the processed meat product tube. Heat, serve.

      2. How can it be unsustainable? Animals are a renewable resource, and so are the plants you feed them.

        1. Because the people that make these arguments have never stepped outside of a city, and are unaware of the west, or the Eurasian Steppes.

  18. How organic coffee drinkers are about to destroy Central America’s economy”

    The immediate reality of Leaf Rust in Central America is as dire as it’s ever been–especially for organic growers. Ric Rhinehart, executive director of the Specialty Coffee Association of America, recently explained to me that organic smallholders are “in a terrible place,” because “the best possible solution is an application of [synthetic] fungicides.” Such fungicides are banned by organic standards. Only 3 percent of the crops in Guatemala are rust-resistant varieties. The rainy season is fast approaching. And international coffee prices are at historic lows. “To put a colorful spin on it,” Rhinehart says, “these guys are just fucked.”

    1. Some people just want to see the world brew?

    2. Well, on the upside, it should kick prices back up a bit.

    3. “And international coffee prices are at historic lows.”


  19. …Governor Andrew Cuomo threatened to remove county sheriffs from their posts if they opposed his favored gun control legislation.

    Apparently one cannot be voted into high office in New York without being a major league asshole.

    1. Apparently? It’s in the state constitution.

      1. I’m a fucking steamroller!!!!!!!!!!!

    2. I hope they call his bluff. What would happen? That fascist fuck will send in the state troopers to force them out?

      1. In New York, sheriff isn’t an elected post?

        1. Yes, county sheriffs are elected.

    3. I want to know how that would even be legal. IIRC, as elected officials Sheriffs can’t simply be fired.

  20. I feel vaguely violated:

    Dell tech: Is there anything else I can help you with?

    Me: no, thank you

    Dell tech: Thank you so much for your time. You’ve been amazing today Thane

    1. You know you should never leave a drink unattended if a Dell phone rep is nearby!

      You’ll be lucky if he just gave you a Rufy!

      1. “So I found the drink holder, but where’s this CD-ROM drive your company promised me?”

  21. Climate change in South Africa tied to ancient human innovations.

    We’ve been raping Mother Gaia since the dawn of civilization. 🙁

    1. I believe the thesis is more like Mother Gaia was *asking* for it.

      1. If she doesn’t like us she shoulda killed us off a long time ago.

      2. If the Gaia idea is at all valid, then humans are Gaia’s brain. And you can’t rape yourself. Believe me, I’ve tried.

  22. What does everyone think of the new Xbox?

    1. Did they even address the whole “always-on DRM” rumor?

    2. I think they’re retarded for going with the always-on model. I always though the reason for getting a console was to avoid that shit.

      1. I’m developing a strong aversion to such things. Part of it comes from the destruction of great single-player games like KOTOR by forcing them into MMO holes.

        Part of it is that I want to play my games, even when the Internet is destroyed by the government, nuclear war, or natural disaster. I mean, I can always generate electricity with a gas generator or bike.

      2. Also, why doesn’t it have an emulator to run previous games on the platform? Then I could just play KOTOR again.

        1. Yes, excellent point. Incidentally, I’d like a re-release of that for the PS3, ? la Mass Effect. Thanks!

          I own both KOTORs for the PC and for Xbox.

          1. I was never able to finish the first one because of a horrible bug that caused it to crash about 75-80% of the way through.

            1. It’s a great game. I was shocked at how good it was, just being another Star Wars title. Bioware does good things.

              1. Oh yeah, I was loving it up until that point. There have only been a handful of RPGs I’ve finished in the last decade, and that was definitely on course to one of them. I think the only others I’ve finished since then are Morrowind, NWN2, Mass Effect.

                1. What platform did you play it on? I had no trouble with the PC version that I can remember.

                  1. Yeah, it was PC. It was a known issue at the time, but I seem to recall there was no official fix. It was very aggravating. I actually started playing it again a few months ago, hoping to finally finish it, before I got sidetracked with FTL and Skyrim. Some day…

                    1. Like I said, they need to re-release it. And, while we’re at it, release KOTOR 3.

                    2. I got to play SWTOR in beta, and I thought it was pretty great. Not good enough to buy and pay a subscription for, but now that it’s all free, I plan on playing through it eventually. Not for the MMO part, obviously.

                    3. I was never clear on how much single player was available in that game. If it’s any good, I might play it–like you said, now that I can skip the extra spend.

                    4. I was able to play it for maybe 10hrs over a weekend, and it was just about exactly like KOTOR in terms of solo adevnturing. I tried 3-4 different classes and did maybe half a dozen different quests for each, with essentially no interaction with other players, other than seeing them running around fighting respawning enemies.

                    5. It’s cheap now–maybe I’ll do that.

                    6. It’s not just cheap; you can download it for free from the official site.

                    7. Free is the best kind of cheap.

      3. Okay, I just looked it up, and an internet connection isn’t required.

        1. Excellent. My post-apocalyptic gaming options are secured.

          1. As long as you have one of those USB pendants like on Revolution.

      4. So what’s the deal with that? You can’t use it if not connected to the internet? If so, that does sound really stupid for a console.

    3. I don’t care about the new Xbox. Consoles are stupid.

      1. Seriously, should I just hook up a gaming PC to my TV in my bedroom and return to PC gaming? I have the console mostly because of the kids. I have the PS3; they have the Xbox 360. For the latter, the Kinect actually is pretty cool, at least for some games.

        1. Seriously? Yes. But there is one good thing about the consoles sort of catching up a little – developers won’t get away with shipping PC games with 512kb textures any more.

        2. Yes. That’s what I did. You can even get an Xbox controller for your PC if you’re dumb enough to prefer console controllers over keyboard and mouse. And I can max out every resolution setting in my games.

          1. I was exactly there some years ago, but I’ve been corrupted by the console. Now that this generation is going to be obsolete, perhaps I will reconsider.

            I will say that getting away from the keyboard/mouse combo has ended any hint of carpal tunnel. I did that while playing PC games after I bought a Sidewinder. Well, some. Diablo was an exception.

        3. Hook up to tv with HDMI cable, plug in wireless 360 for windows controller if you want, turn Steam onto Big Picture mode, and enjoy.

          1. The power of it intrigues me. I’d be like a gaming god.

            1. I suggest playing this with the volume turned way up.

    4. Rumor has it that the PS4 and XBox One will have nearly identical specs. So the only real difference will be the services, peripherals, and the exclusives.

      But installing games on the console? Ugh. And only a 500gb HDD to do this with. Naturally, M$ will go with the proprietary HDD and screw the consumers again. “Want expandable storage? Pay 5X the price of other HDDs for our proprietary shit!”

      Always on and getting rid of the used market are going to make the gaming market continue to shrink.

      I will likely get it along with the PS4.

    5. So the Xbox 2 is called “XBox One?” That’s seriously retarded.

      1. It’s really Xbox 3, which isn’t any less retarded.

    6. I don’t think about it.

  23. CBS pulls ‘Mike and Molly’ season finale because it features a tornado descending on Chicago.

    Yeah, I agree it would be cruel to inadvertently subject anyone to that show after surviving such a horrible tragedy.

    1. Columbine occurred just a few days before the Buffy school-shooting episode.

      They pulled it too, which made a later episode have a weird bit.

      It showed back up in reruns/syndication, so by the time I saw it (about 3 years after the original airing) I didnt get confused but I saw how those who watched it first time did.

      1. Apparently Columbine also contributed to Battle Royale never seeing wide distribution in the US.

    2. Don’t people want Chicago to be destroyed?

  24. From Not Always Learning: Hysterical Correctness

    1. I call chicks dudes all the time.

  25. Tornado victim being interviewed by reporters find her dog alive in the rubble of her home.

    Not even you lot can make this a cynical story.

    1. The police were occupied elsewhere.

    2. I hate little dogs. All they do is yap, especially when the roof is collapsed on top of them. Noisy little fuckers.

      1. “I hate little dogs”

        AKA: kickin’ dogs.

      2. Then don’t drop by….you’ll look like the postal carrier in a famous Gary Larson cartoon!

    3. Sure we can.

      It was an Obama photo op.

    4. …dog immediately shot by cop.

    5. That cunt had two fucking prayers.

      (1) Save me.

      (2) Save the mut.

      What about those poor chilldurn?

      1. Welcome to Libertopia.

        1. True dat.

    6. “That’s life in the big city.”

      I bet some NYCers had a good laugh at that

    7. “anything less than 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless”

  26. US Naval Academy Herndon Climb 2013

    It is the site of the famous “plebes-no-more” ceremony, where the plebes (first year students at the academy) all work together to climb the greased monument and replace a plebe “dixie-cup hat” on top with a combination cover. This is the official end of the plebe year.

    Bolded text lets you know what that link will get you into.

    1. Greased up sailors? Are you trolling stereotypical today?

      1. There are lady libertarians and homotarians about, it’s not exactly trolling.

        But yeah, yeah I am.

      2. Also it’s greased up sailors climbing an obelisk.

        The Herndon Climb is Top Gun levels of gay.

        1. Except for the chick sailor in the one pic. Or is she the beard for the group like Kelly McGillis?

          1. That’s a lot of gay for one beard.

            She’s also gonna have to be the back- toe- ball-hair, and ZZ top ass-beard for that group.

          2. Can a lesbian be a beard?

            1. They would be each others’ beard. It’s high efficiency bearding.

              1. Is there a term for “straight man going out with lesbian to help her stay in the closet”?

                If not, I suggest: Softball coach.

                “Is she gay?”

                “Not at all. I hear she’s dating her softball coach.”

                1. That won’t do at all. A beard butches up a femmy gay man, so your needs to fem up a butch lesbian.

                  I propose a bonnet, mostly because it would make a classy sounding boutique shop for the heteronormativity challenged: “Beards and Bonnets”

                  1. Awesome. Call me when you’ve got some concept art and we’ll get this shit funded.

    2. greased monument

      Nice band name.


    The Bay Area and Houston are getting the 50th and 51st Super Bowls. Those poor people; imagine the massive opportunity costs after their city governments “invest” in the new infrastructure to facilitate the games.

    1. Idk. The last (first) Houston Superbowl kick-off party was fun. Dude flew in on a jetpack and then we got Bob (not Rob) Schneider and The Reverend Horton Heat in concert. Being of normal means, I couldn’t attend any of the actual Super Bowl festivities. Also, Houston has the Rodeo to offset much of the cost of getting a shitton of people into the stadium as efficiently as possible.

      1. Bob and Rob are virtually the same.

        1. You take that back. Bob is inconsistent, but fucking awesome when he is on.

  28. News to make you feel like an unaccomplished chump:

    Eesha Khare, 18, developed a supercapacitor that could charge your phone in seconds.

    Good things do come from CA!

    1. “With this money I will be able to pay for my college and also work on making scientific advancements”

      I’m sure she’ll get a full ride somewhere, but assuming that wasn’t the case… yeah fucking right!

      Also, does anyone know if by entering this contest she forfeit any of her intellectual property rights to the organizing body for her innovation?

      1. that’s what I’m wondering, because… fuck that $50k scholarship. She would probably go to any university with a strong scientific or engineering program on a full scholarship. And if she patents and sells the idea, she could make some serious bank.

    2. There was a long and largely skeptical discussion of this on Slashdot the other day.

    3. In other news, high school dropout David Karp, 26, stands to make 220 million bucks from Yahoo overpaying for a bunch of blogs.…

  29. Oh, and blame the Sequester for the Oklahoma tornado because some funding was cut from forecasting and disaster relief.

    The Sequester has no become a force of nature!

    1. It’s evil that they keeping politicizing natural disasters. It’s mostly bullshit, or, like with Katrina, it’s actually people of their persuasion that created the underlying problem.

    2. They had, what, 30 to 45 minutes notice a tornado was coming? I guess without the sequester they would have had time to dig a storm cellar.

    3. You forgot global warming and the Republicans.

    4. What a load of shit. The furloughs haven’t taken place yet and this still happens. And the high-res dopplar radars just finished their upgrade last month so storm warnings have never been better.

      This reminds me of the Time cover w/ the noseless Afghani woman with the subtitle What Happens When We Leave.

  30. ever hear of it? It has SNL clips, though perhaps not this one. Here is the transcript of that skit in question: (yeah I don’t HTML links) deal with it.

    1. The Oliver North bit, from way up thread. (yes I get that that last bit reads like a spambot)

  31. Abercrombie & Fat: Jezebel celebrates one woman’s response to the CEO controversy.

    I also love how Jes writes about attractive and fat not being exclusive terms ? you can be both. So often you hear “thin and attractive” and “fat and ugly” as paired terms ? someone is made good looking by their thin frame, or hideous because they’re rocking the sexy chub. To that, I think there’s no better response than this picture

    Um, okay, but why do I think that the Jezzies have a different definition of ‘fat’ and ‘attractive’? The woman in the picture I do not find attractive.

    1. Shall I be the first to joke that John would find her attractive?

    2. Ok, come on. What’s with the perfunctory and meaningless middle finger salute? Having a shitty attitude doesn’t make your physical appearance relatively more attractive. I see way too many fat people who adopt this I-don’t-care-fuck-the-world attitude. It makes them extremely hard to be around.

      Of course this is precisely the sort of destructive behavior and character defects that Jezebel would encourage, but still.

    3. No kidding. Oink.

    4. I am definitely not attracted.

    5. I’m fond of “rocking the sexy chub” myself, if you know what I mean.

      And I think you do.

      1. No one wants to hear about your bestiality exploits, TIT. Well, except for FoE. He loves that stuff.

        1. Bestiality is such a tawdry word for the feelings I get when I watch Air Buddies: Treasure Buddies.

          1. Ok, let’s use “tumescent” instead.

            1. That’s a synonym for “inspired and uplifted”, I take it?

            2. That’s a synonym for “inspired and uplifted”, I take it?

    6. Hamplanet.

      1. And speaking of fat Jezzies I didn’t realize until yesterday that hilarious Lindy West was this fat (NSFL).

        1. Boy, she really showed us horrible men, didn’t she?

          1. Look, it’s not fair to pick on Louie Anderson like that.

        2. Article from 2011 where West admits to being 263,and she looks a lot thinner than the pic you found.

          She says she’s 5’9″. I’m 5’10”, a fat diabetic cripple, and I’ve never been anywhere near 263. When I was at 230 from my insulin resistance kicking in in 2000, they wanted to hospitalize me I was so fat and my blood sugar was so high.

          1. Yeah, but are you a hamplanet? I didn’t think so. A hamplanet’s particular gravity allows them to weigh more than a standard fatso.

            1. I’m barely a spamplanet. [hangs head in shame]

              1. Way to lower the bar, NutraSweet.

              2. I’m barely a spamplanet. [hangs head in shame]

                Ooooh….demoted like Pluto.

          2. I’m 6’4, 270. That woman is freaking huge at 5’10, 263.

        3. Not Safe For Libraries?

          1. I thought life so I didn’t click.

            1. lunch

  32. THE STORY KEEPS CHANGING: White House IRS timeline shifts again

    The White House’s explanation of what it knew about the investigation into the IRS’s scrutiny of conservative political groups and how it planned for the eventual release of that information shifted once again Tuesday.

    Just a day after telling reporters that chief of staff Denis McDonough and other senior White House staff learned of the situation nearly a month ago, press secretary Jay Carney revealed Tuesday that White House officials had consulted with the Treasury Department on how to make the findings public.

    Love how the explanation “shifted.” Again. Also, includes an excellent picture of Sad Face Carney.

    1. They’ve done the same shit previously, of course, especially with Benghazi. The only difference is that the media is paying attention this time.

    2. As he did on Monday, Carney again defended the White House’s position of not looping in Obama about the inspector general’s report of the IRS before the news became public.

      “People in the know and people who understand why it’s important to maintain distance from these kinds of things for the White House understand that that was the right call,” Carney said.

      Plausible deniability. Straight out of the Milhous papers.

  33. Virginian Tea Party officially kicks of the 2013 tour of “Costing the GOP Easy Elections by Nominating Socon Nutjobs”:…..-blows-it/

    1. What does this have to do with the Tea Party? There isn’t one word about the Tea Party in that article.

      1. “But what a sad, corrosive day for the party, from the specter of 8000 people choosing a statewide candidate, to Cuccinelli not having the basic sense to block it. And what a hideous position it puts so many of us in.”

        8000 die-hards show up to a nomination. Stormy somehow decides this is the fault of the Tea Party, despite no evidence of who these people were, and despite their incredibly small numbers.

        Okay, Stormy.

          1. Additional Key Endorsements for E.W. Jackson for Lieutenant Governor:
            Del. James Edmunds ? Virginia’s 60th House of Delegates District
            Del. Rick Morris ? Virginia’s 64th House of Delegates District
            Barry Bank ? Supervisor, Halifax County
            Kay Gunter ? 10th District State Central Committee
            Eve Marie Barner Gleason ? 10th District State Central Committee
            Suzanne Curran ? Western Vice-Chair, Republican Party of Virginia
            Garet Bosiger ? Chairman, Appomattox Country Republican Committee
            Scott Stanely ? Chairman, Dickenson County Republican Committee
            Gary Lowe ? Chairman, Greene County Republican Committee
            Bob Arment ? Chairman, Louisa County Republican Committee
            Bill Harvill ? Chairman, Madison County Republican Committee
            Wally Hudson ? Chairman, Mecklenburg County Republican Committee
            Daniel Bradshaw ? Chairman, Prince Edward County Republican Committee
            John Brill ? Chairman, Roanoke City Republican Committee
            Matt Fitzgerald ? Chairman, Staunton County Republican Committee
            Lori Carlson ? Chairman, Surry County Republican Committee
            Rich Macbeth ? Chairman, Washington County Republican Committee
            Don Blake ? Chairman and President, Virginia Christian Alliance
            Melvin Adams ? Renew-A-Nation
            Dean Welty ? President, Valley Family Forum
            Chip Tarbutton ? President, Roanoke Tea Party
            Gen. Jerry Boykin ? Lt. General (Retired) United States Army, Fmr. United States Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence

            1. ^^ That’s an awful lot of Republican committee chairs for a guy who got nominated ‘by the Tea Party.’

              I also question the argument that anyone gives enough of a shit about the Lieutenant Governor to not vote or switch their vote. In Wisconsin, they have an LG who compared gay marriage to having sex with a clock. Wisconsin is less conservative than Virginia, and that his LG didn’t hurt Scott Walker any.

              1. No one gives a shit about who the representative for Missouri’s District-2 is either, until Todd Akin starts saying stupid things about rape.

                This Jackson guy looks like one of those people who like giving deliberately inflammatory speeches to get media attention, and that’s not really something the candidate for governor needs to be dealing with.

      2. They’re the grassroots supporters mentioned in the article (“Jackson, who brought his own grassroots supporters to the convention”). Jackson’s been one of the darlings of the Virginia tea party circuit for the past few years now.

        1. This reads like sour grapes and concern trolling from Jen Rubin (who, suffice it to say, is no one’s idea of a small government conservative or unbiased source vis a vis manifestations of same).

          How many of those are Tea Partiers, what percent of the Tea Party movement do they comprise, and who were the alternative candidates? My patience for innuendo about “fringe movements” amongst the limited government crowd is quite low at this point.

          1. Look at Stormy’s link above. He had support from literally two dozen establishment Republican leaders and a bunch of non-Tea Party social conservative organizations.

            I have no idea how the three Tea Party endorsements can explain why he won with all of those committee chairs on his side.

            1. James Edmunds (Southside Virginia Tea Party Patriots)
              Rick Morris (Hampton Roads Tea Party)
              Kay Gunter (Apple Valley Tea Party)
              Eve Marie Barner Gleason (Loudoun County Tea-Party)
              Suzanne Curran (Tea Party Nation)
              Garet Bosiger (Virgina Tea Party Patriot Movement)


              Most of the low level committee chairs in VA controlled by the Tea Party groups.

    2. Maybe a pious, homophobic black will draw the pious, homophobic black vote.

      Don’t get me wrong, I think they’re innovating here, but possibly going too niche. Too artisanal, if you will.

      1. The Republicans could nominate the love child of Martin Luther King and Michael Jordan and black voters would be like, “well, if he’s a Republican there’s obviously something wrong with him,” and vote for the Democrat, even if the Democrat is Freddy Krueger.

  34. Guess Who Said It? The answer may surprise you*.

    Denying patriarchy and sexism is like other kinds of denialism, such as claiming that the Confederacy was about “states rights” and not slavery: Obviously irrational horseshit that should be studied from afar, but there’s no value in engaging with people who are so delusional.

    *May not apply if you have any inkling of the type of links I enjoy tormenting the Reason commentariat with.

    1. It’s always Marcotte.

    2. I guessed, was correct, and was not surprised.

      I like how proggies (correctly) claim that the Civil War wasn’t about states’ rights — until they want to float some red herrings against federalism.

    3. Denying patriarchy and sexism is like other kinds of denialism, such as claiming that the Confederacy was about “states rights” and not slavery

      I’m impressed that she didn’t go with the Holocaust for her example of denialism. That must have took some self-restraint.

    4. There’s no such thing as “denialism”.

    5. ….but there’s no value in engaging with people who are so delusional.

      Well there you have it…Amanda endorses her own shunning.

  35. Facebook: Ground zero in the War on Wimmenz.

    The trolls will always be with us, but corporations have an obligation to set the tone. Free speech isn’t hate speech. Free speech doesn’t look like a group called Violently Raping Your Friend Just for Laughs. And a hostile, violent environment makes the concept of a place built around the word “friend” just a cruel, stupid joke. Or, as one of the letter’s commenters noted Tuesday, “On Facebook, hating a religious or ethnic minority gets you banned, but hating half of humanity gets you Likes.”

    Facebook can moderate as it pleases, but this lady has no clue what free speech is.

    1. Rutgers has signs up everywhere saying, “There’s no such thing as free speech. Stop hatred. Report bias. Suck administrator dick.” It’s a common idea.

      1. but corporations have an obligation to set the tone

        Citation needed.

        Free speech doesn’t look like a group called Violently Raping Your Friend Just for Laughs.

        “THAT’S NOT FUNNY!” and other sayings by humorless asswipes.

        And a hostile, violent environment makes the concept of a place built around the word “friend” just a cruel, stupid joke.

        Hear that whooshing sound? That’s the joke flying over your head. Two contradictory ideas? Placed together? Like the duchess with the duck on her head? Absurdity? No? Okay, let’s move on.

        Or, as one of the letter’s commenters noted Tuesday, “On Facebook, hating a religious or ethnic minority gets you banned, but hating half of humanity gets you Likes.”

        Can I still hate on religious and/or ethnic majorities?

    2. Free speech isn’t hate speech, but hate speech is free speech.

    3. It’s hilarious that Salon has an uncloseable link directly to Facebook on this and every other page.

  36. Man, New York really is munged up

    Bloomberg, a complete statist (dare I say fascist) in support of, and incentivizing a PD to violate the constitution willy nilly AND
    “New York’s capo di tutti capi Governor Andrew Cuomo threatened to remove county sheriffs from their posts if they opposed his favored gun control legislation. So much for that ? the sherifffs’ association is supporting a legal challenge to the laws”

    This asshat as well

    Christ almighty, what a fucked up state.

  37. “Free speech doesn’t look like a group called Violently Raping Your Friend Just for Laughs.”

    sure it does. It’s the most heinous, offensive, etc. speech that needs protectin’ and it’s exactly the kind of stuff the 1st amendment was designed to protect.

  38. “A liberal think tank with close ties to the Obama administration took money from General Motors and other businesses it did not disclose while campaigning for policies benefiting those companies, according to The Nation magazine.”

    1. I find scandal revelations to be addicting. I want more. Like a lot more. Hundreds.

      1. I agree. I still look back on that week when Spitzer got busted with a type of awe and longing.

        1. Good times, good times. I can only hope this exceeds that by nine times. Get it? Nine times.

      2. It’s like some big Confessional dam has broken and they’re hoping to get as many of these sins absolved early in the term as possible so Barack can still go down in history as a Great President once his image is rehabbed in the coming months.

        1. This is what happens when you try to throw the fucking CIA under the bus.

          1. That sounds more likely.

  39. Cracked usually is at least somewhat rational with its articles, but this one is way off the charts stupid.

    1. It seems like every answer is ‘The guns suck RIGHT NOW, therefore they will always suck.’

      Since technology never improves, they clearly have a point.

      1. It’s called “whistling past the graveyard”. They realize the potential here, and since it would decimate attempts at gun control, they want to convince themselves that that potential can’t be reached.

        Poor babies, they haz a sad.

      2. For half of them they couldn’t even substantiate that the Liberator sucks all that hard.

        “Looks funny.” It’s still a muzzle pointed at you.

        “Small bullet.” It’s still a hole in your center of mass.

        “Blows up in your face.” This is far from substantiated.

        “Inaccurate.” At what range? It’s probably accurate enough in close.

        “Illegal.” It’s demonstrably legal.

        “Single shot.” Firearms through most of history have been single shot.

        “Expensive.” True.

        1. See above. The printer may cost $2000. The gun costs $25 to make. Presumably, if I could sell 1000 for $35 I could make a decent profit.

          1. Of course unit price scales with more units made, but there is a rather high entry cost to make your own.

            1. OR… join a MakerSpace with a Lulzbot or MakrBot Replicator and a liberal printing policy.

              1. Sure, sure. There are options, just like there will likely be improvement to all the other attributes cited.

    2. Cracked can be hit or miss. Still like them.

      1. Thankfully there’s a better class of commenter there than at most clearly leftist sites.

      2. Yes, pretty funny how decent they are, considering their less funny roots.


      Stephen Colbert did a segment on 3d-printed-guns last week. You can tell where he stands, but he did call out the absurd futility of trying to ban something (the instruction file) that has already been posted to the internet.

      1. Yeah, the whole “it’s illegal!!1!” thing strikes me as really reaching. This is basically the beginning of replicator technology and they think they can suppress it? Laughable.

  40. “The Senate Committee on Foreign Relations on Tuesday pushed through a bill that would authorize the Obama administration to supply arms to Syria’s rebels ? a strategy the White House has long-resisted out of concern the American weaponry may end up in the hands of terrorists fighting in the Mideast nation.”

    “The committee voted 15-3 to push the legislation forward. Sens. Rand Paul, Kentucky Republican, Chris Murphy, Connecticut Democrat, and Tom Udall, New Mexico Democrat, voted against.”…..pposition/


    Last night, Stephen Colbert perpetuating the myth that the IRS scandal was a result of a surge in applications falling Citizens United. Plus KOCHTOPUS!!!!111!

    1. *”following”

    1. And if you don’t love QOTSA for their music, love them because Josh Homme is one of us, one of us.

      You’ve described yourself as a conservative.

      Do you mean politically? Sure. I’m very socially liberal, but I don’t think the government knows what to do with your money better than you do. If the government were a business it would be completely bankrupt. And they always put new laws on the books but they never take any away. I wish they’d just get off my fucking lawn, basically.

      Are you thinking of joining the Tea Party, like Sarah Palin?

      I think I’m even worse than that. I’m a fallen libertarian. In America, the land of the free, almost every civil liberty has been taken away; people use the police for everything. If you have some disagreement with your neighbour, they call the police, a third party, to mediate. And you basically give away control to a little Judge Judy. I don’t believe in that. I don’t like… I guess you’d have to say The Man, for want of a better word.

      What else pisses you off?

      I can’t stand the modern schooling system. If you learn a little bit of everything you’re a Renaissance man? No. You can play Trivial Pursuit and that’s about all.

      1. I can’t stand the modern schooling system. If you learn a little bit of everything you’re a Renaissance man? No. You can play Trivial Pursuit and that’s about all.

        Unless you’ve got hand-eye coordination, then you’re Ken fucking Jennings and a millionaire.

      2. I always support finding new reasons to love Queens of the Stone Age.

  42. 1975 tornado outbreaks blamed on global cooling

    Read the comments. First comment posts a link that describes what really causes tornadoes, and it is not global warming.

  43. 1975 tornado outbreaks blamed on global cooling

    Read the comments. First comment posts a link that describes what really causes tornadoes, and it is not global warming.

    1. damn squirrels. I only clicked submit once.

      1. Glitch in the Matrix?

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.