CDC Finds Poop in Pools, Gay Marriage Legislation Ruled Constitutional in France, LulzSec Hackers Get Prison Sentences: P.M. Links

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Credit: Jeff Sandquist/wikimedia
  • Readers who are looking forward to taking a dip in their local public pool this summer may want to reconsider given that the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested. 
  • France's constitutional high court has upheld legislation passed by both the Senate and the National Assembly that allows gay couples to marry and adopt children. 
  • Four members of the LulzSec hacking group have been sentenced to between two and two-and-a-half years in prison in England.
  • A federal judge has temporarily blocked the enforcement of a new law in Arkansas that bans abortions after 12 weeks of a pregnancy. 
  • The Air Force chief of staff has recommended removing the authority to prosecute military personnel accused of sexual misconduct from the chain of command. 
  • Former presidential candidate John Edwards has reactivated his license to practice law. The first step of a potential comeback perhaps.

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  1. Former presidential candidate John Edwards has reactivated his license to practice law.

    I wonder which of the two Americas he’ll like better.

    1. The one where he gets to wield the IRS like a mace to beat anybody who brings up his marital history.

    2. There are two Americas: Those who sue, and those who are sued.

    3. Has he bought a new pair of Nikes to chase ambulances in?

    4. That accounts for some percentage of the poop in the pool, right there.

  2. Not to belabor this but I think it’s an important story potentially. Customs and Border Patrol searches of private aircraft in Oklahoma and Iowa possibly brought on by the fact that the pilot had landed in Colorado, which has recently legalized marijuana.

    An article at AOPA (Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association) details a disturbing detention and search of a pilot and his plane by agents that may have been Customs and Border Patrol (they offered no identification).

    During a coast-to-coast trip,the pilot was subjected to two “random” ramp checks, one of which resulted in the extensive and invasive search of his aircraft. “Ramp checks” are typically performed at random by FAA personnel and are generally limited to inspecting the aircraft’s required paperwork and the pilot’s credentials. According to the pilot,who claims to be a teetotaler,the agents tried to get him to admit to possessing a small amount of marijuana, which was never found during the search. He also claims the agents suggested to him that the search may have been related to the fact that he had landed in Colorado, which recently legalized marijuana, earlier in the trip.

    1. I would bet they were DEA, not CBP.

      1. The pilot reported they were wearing tan uniforms with an insignia that resembled CBP’s. They were accompanied by local police and a K-9 unit.

        1. Reading the article, I guess they are CBP. Which makes sense, seeing as how every airport is a “border”.

          1. How is that? And how would it apply to domestic flights?

    2. Saw that earlier, database. It is worrying.

      The pilots consented to searches by people claiming to be government agents, yet who offered no identification to prove that. That creates plausible deniability for the government.

      I know pilots are at the complete mercy of the FAA, but unless you start demanding ID and taking names you got nothing. Also, record the SOBs.

    3. That sure reads like an onion article… I think it is legitimate, but the picture and other aspects cry out for comedy.

  3. Readers who are looking forward to taking a dip in their local public pool this summer may want to reconsider given that the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested.

    But how many were just Baby Ruths?

    1. +1 Carl Spackler

    2. Trust me, it wasn’t a Baby Ruth. I was locked out so I jumped in for relief.

    1. Who says Canucks ain’t kewl!

    1. If this is the “sneaky nuts” story (I only looked at the URL), we discussed it this morning: IFH is trying to freak us all out.

  4. The curious appeal of ‘power paunches

  5. France’s constitutional high court has upheld legislation passed by both the Senate and the National Assembly that allows gay couples to marry and adopt children.

    More wedding business plus burning Citroens equals economic multplier boosts for France!

  6. Scientists create graphite based paper circuits.

    http://www.gizmag.com/paper-gr…..c-90999673

  7. Even really cool science can make you laugh like Beavis.

    Screaming winds of infernal violence alternate with periods of dead calm as one nears the surface of Uranus, according to a new analysis of the gas giant.

    The turbulent weather patterns on gaseous planets has long been known — think of the giant storm raging on Jupiter that makes up its famous eye. But little had been known about life on the surface of distant Uranus.

    1. “That’s no eye…”

    2. I’d use “conditions” rather than “life”, since as far as we know there isn’t anything living there.

      And I’m sure we can all agree they wouldn’t have violent winds if it weren’t for ASSW (anthropogenic solar system warming).

    3. +1 bunghole

  8. So I’ll be seeing Star Trek later tonight. You can expect a full rant on the subject come Monday’s PM links. Carry on.

    1. You’re going drunk, right?

      1. In fact, you should get so drunk that you pass out.

    2. Why bother? It’ll be action-packed stupidity, with lots of flashing.

      1. I got a date, so yes, I hope for lots of flashing.

        Besides, I want to see if my prediction is correct: that Abrams is essentially taking all the great things about Wrath of Khan and mutilating them into something horrible.

        1. Indeed, that is precisely what he’s doing.

          I think me and Auric’s proposed sitcom (The Odd Couple) with Kirk and Khan stuck as roommates due to a time-travel accident back to the 1970s is far more compelling.

          1. Robot Chicken did it first.

        2. No one can look into the face of the AbrahmsOrciKurtzmanLindelof and not come out a changed man, if he comes out at all.

          1. Super Baby Starfleet Officers Wars!

            1. …of the Carribean

          2. I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe. The Enterprise on fire on the shoulder of the Kessel Run, photo torpedoes glittering in the dark at Tatooine.

            1. Really, that’s what this reboot is–a YouTube mash-up writ large.

        3. What is a “date”? Isn’t that a piece of fruit from a tree?

          1. I think ASM is one of those punk kids. They’re allowed to go out with members of the opposite sex.

            1. So, left-hand instead of right-hand.

              1. You’re as bad as Episiarch, thoughtlessly othering all the left-handed commenters.

              2. Everybody knows you have to numb the hand first for it to count as another person.

            2. I thought that sort of thing had been banned.

            3. I’m coming out of the closet as an open cisgender heterosexual male

          2. It’s some female ritual that men don’t understand.

            1. That explains a lot.

  9. Christopher Nolan could be up for directing Bond 24 or at least 25.

    1. It’ll be the grittiest Bond ever.

    2. Christopher Nolan seems to like making complicate films. When the subject matter isn’t complicated, as it wasn’t with the Batman trilogy, he seems to add many characters to increase the complexity.

      Not sure how good he’d be at Bond.

      1. Just so long as they bring back Daniel Craig. Of all the Bonds, he’s the one that most resembles the guy in the novels.

  10. Debt ceiling to be automatically reinstated on Sunday, Treasury Secretary Jack Lew to continue brazenly fudging the numbers on the nation’s balance sheet for most of the duration of the fiscal year.

  11. …the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested.

    Don’t worry, all the urine will sterilize that.

    1. So, we can look forward to a season of moms keeping their fragile little poop machines out of the pools in fear they will come into contact with someone else’s feces, right?

  12. so now Video Games make kids healthier

    1. Why would people who collect taxes for a living be hostile towards people who believe taxation is basically theft?

      I dont get it.

  13. Readers who are looking forward to taking a dip in their local public pool this summer may want to reconsider given that the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested.

    I believe that’s why we chlorinate them.

    1. Yep, look for the pools to crank up the chlorine levels, and the moms to further complain about that.

      No pleasing them.

    2. Hasn’t killed us yet. We used to go to a salt water public swimming hole that pumped in from just outside the marina. Incidentally boats flushed just outside the marina because it was forbidden to do so IN the marina. Occasionally you’d find you were swimming with floaters.

    3. Have they ever tested that before? Who knows if that’s any worse than it ever has been. Anyway, there is some amount of poop on everything. I’d be surprised if they didn’t find any. I’m sre every pond or lake you swim in has some fecal E Coli in it,

  14. This is what actual child abuse looks like?

    Reed says police investigators did not report any signs of physical abuse on the children. But the kids were confined in a room at night without access to a bathroom. The four children are in state custody.

    1. What the Fuck?

      1. Follow up. At dinner tonight a guy took his unruly 2-3 year old out the door of the restaurant where I was eating dinner and gave him a single attention-getting (ie, not pain inducing) swat on the seat to drive home a point. Some lady got up and said something to him about how she thought what he was doing was wrong. He was surprisingly polite.

        I informed the gf that she should expect the words “fuck right off you stupid cunt” to come out of my mouth at top volume should I ever be in a similar situation. She was not supportive, but at least accepting.

    1. Did Florsheim ever sponsor his car?

      1. I believe you’re thinking of Dave Marcis (wingtip shoe guy) who’s alive and kicking.

  15. France’s constitutional high court has upheld legislation passed by both the Senate and the National Assembly that allows gay couples to marry and adopt children.

    And demands that florists must do business with them?

      1. No, you dummy. That was just the first of the nuclear waste dumps starting to destabilize. Moonbase Alpha is fine…no damage.

        1. What on Earth are you talking about? Alpha, along with the Moon, blasted out of orbit back in 1999. What we see now, of course, is just a projection.

          1. See? The moon landing was faked!

            1. That was ’69 when they faked the Moon landings. They had to fake them to prevent the astronauts from seeing the secret SHADO base.

              1. Truman: Whistling Dixie! I want this sent to Area 51 for study.

                General: But, sir, that’s where we’re building the fake moon landing set.

                Truman: Then we’ll have to really land on the moon. Invent NASA and tell them to get off their fannies!

          2. How do they do the tides?

    1. Kiera Wilmot strikes again?

    2. In response to mooninite aggression of course

  16. A federal judge has temporarily blocked the enforcement of a new law in Arkansas that bans abortions after 12 weeks of a pregnancy.

    Take away all the negatives in that sentence and I think it means every four month or older fetus in Arkansas will be forcefully terminated.

    1. Why did the Judge have to undergo 12 weeks of pregnancy before she could block enforcement of the new law?

    1. AGAIN?!?!?!

    2. If you click on the link expecting to see a moon-shattering kaboom…you will be sorely disappointed.

      1. Where’s the kaboom?

        1. Okay, okay, it was me. The Moon was obstructing my view of Venus.

          1. How could you not use ‘Moon’ and ‘Uranus’ in that comment? Now I see the real reason you’re literally worse than Hitler.

            1. Because that’s not what Marvin the Martian said?

              1. Would you rather be funny or quote Looney Toons?

                1. Of course you realize, this means war!

    3. Only 40 kg? Considering the frequency of meteriod falls on earth (literally thousands of tons per day), this sounds way too low.

      1. Well, we do have that atmosphere thingee.

      2. F=MV. A lot of velocity makes up for (relatively) low mass.

        1. F=MA

          Inertia is MV

          1. Kinetic energy is (MV^2)/2.

        2. F=MA

          P=MV

          And more importantly to your point:

          KE = 1/2MV^2

        3. Well, F ME.

    4. I saw it the first time and I was all, “BOOOORINNNGGG!”

    5. boulder-sized rock

      huh?

      1. duck sized horse?

      2. He meant a rock-sized boulder.

  17. http://latino.foxnews.com/lati…..ive-group/

    To be fair, they aren’t really hispanic if they’re conservative

  18. When all you have is a hammer CDC, everything looks like a nail disease.

    “This is a deliberate effort by CDC to show mental health is a health issue. As with any health concern, the more attention we give to it, the better. It’s parents becoming aware of the facts and talking to a healthcare provider about how their child is learning, behaving, and playing with other kids,” Dr. Ruth Perou, the lead author of the study, said in an interview.

    “What’s concerning is the number of families affected by these issues. But we can do something about this. Mental health problems are diagnosable, treatable and people can recover and lead full healthy lives,” Perou added.

    1. Apparently, anti-government viewpoints are a disease as well.

    2. You can recover from mental illness, but never from an involuntary commission-related removal of your Constitutional rights.

    3. “…people can recover and lead full healthy lives,” Perou added.”

      I am guessing that by ‘lead full, healthy lives’ she means they are unable to buy a gun.

  19. Eurovision song contest 2013: the key songs to watch out for

    1. There will never be another Epic Sax Guy.

  20. The Air Force chief of staff has recommended removing the authority to prosecute military personnel accused of sexual misconduct from the chain of command.

    Harm and Mac never had any problems bucking the chain of command in upholding the UCMJ. Or maybe they did, I forget.

  21. WTF does coerce mean, anyway?

    Neither of these plans would violate the FCC Net Neutrality rules but they do, in effect, coerce users into making decision about data usage that favors specific sources and services to the financial benefit of the ISP.

    Anon, 14 hours ago

    “they? coerce users into making decision about data usage?”

    Providing a service for free is not coercion.

    Merriam-Webster:

    1: to restrain or dominate by force
    2: to compel to an act or choice
    3: to achieve by force or threat

    Mark Gibbs, Contributor 3 hours ago

    My use of “coerce” is accurate ? I use it in the sense of the second definition you cite “2: to compel to an act or choice”. Coercion isn’t always obvious, it’s often subtle and relies on offering alternatives that appear to be equal but where one choice has an advantage or disadvantage over the other. These companies are giving people a choice to take the freebie (which they have already actually paid for) or not. Not taking the freebie and choosing an alternative has a cost so there is not a real choice when it comes, for example, to watching ESPN as opposed to another sports channel. That is coercive.

    Definitions, how do they werk?

    1. relies on offering alternatives that appear to be equal but where one choice has an advantage or disadvantage over the other.

      It’s only a ‘free choice’ when you’re completely indifferent to it.

      This is actually considered a serious position in philosophy departments.

      1. It’s only a ‘free choice’ when you’re completely indifferent to it.

        Then what would be the value of having free choice?

        1. That’s what’s so bizarre about that argument. It says that you don’t really have a choice when the alternative is sufficiently burdensome. The only solid ground for that distinction is to converge on what that Gibbs fellow said unambiguously: equal alternatives. Which is total indifference. In which case, why choose at all?

          I wonder if someone has used this logic to argue for totalitarianism. The only real choice is when you’re indifferent, and that choice doesn’t matter, so let us choose for you!

          1. It says that you don’t really have a choice when the alternative is sufficiently burdensome

            Well, that’s actually true, I think. But not quite the way he wants it to be. “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you” doesn’t really leave you much choice. But, fo course, when you are talking about things like data plans, you always have the unspoken choice of going elsewhere for your service or doing without.

      2. So if I slack off and don’t exercise tomorrow, because it’s more burdensome than not exercising, it’s because of coercion?

    2. Some kinds of stupid can’t be cured.

    3. “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean?neither more nor less.”

    4. So if we go to Mark Gibbs’s house and he asks if we want a glass of water, we can insist instead of tap, bottled, filtered or what have you that he should burn some hydrogen for us, otherwise he’s coercing us?

      Not only an idiot but a terrible host. I’m never visiting him again. If I wanted to be coerced I’d visit STEVE SMITH.

  22. FYI: This weekend, Steam has Borderlands 2 for $14.

    I’ll likely relent and see what it is you freaks keep praising.

    1. Well worth $14, you should get it.

      1. Is it worth even trying with only 512mb vram?

        Yeah, I suck.

        1. I think if you turn the video settings to low you should be alright.

        2. How does your computer even run?

          Get RAM; it’s cheap.

          1. Ah, vram. Nevermind. /letella

      2. I’ll try it out too, thanks for the heads up!!

    2. I’ll give it a try, especially since I’m in the process of building a new kick ass rig.

    3. Borderlands 1: Libertarians are icky
      Borderlands 2: Communists are icky
      Borderlands 3: Christians are icky

      Is this more or less correct?

  23. Readers who are looking forward to taking a dip in their local public pool this summer may want to reconsider given that the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested.

    South Park did a whole episode on Peeing in the Pool.

  24. Readers who are looking forward to taking a dip in their local public pool this summer may want to reconsider given that the CDC found traces of feces 58 percent of the public pools they tested.

    How would you prevent “traces of feces” from getting into public pools?

    1. Mandatory pre-dip hose downs and rubber plugs.

      1. Shreek has a new career. Pool water quality guy.

        1. It would interfere with his current career of pooping in this pool.

  25. Harry Reid brings back the threat of employing the nuclear option to change filibuster rules.

    Mutually Assured Douchebagginess will ensue. No one wants to handicap the tool both parties use when they’re the opposition.

    1. Please tell me the Republicans are smart enough to let him take this all the way to the end.

  26. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05……html?_r=0

    Wait, I thought Obama had only just learned about the IRS scandal last Friday?

    1. One of the things that makes cover-ups difficult is keeping all of the lies in order. He should filter everything through the Big Lie Czar.

      1. I’m sure a Transparency Czar will be appointed in the next couple of weeks.

    2. The talking points narrative that seems to be coalescing around the Messiah is that, yes, he’s the greatest, smartest, and most capable man who has ever lived, yet he has absolutely no idea at all about anything that’s going on underneath him.

      1. “He’s just, you know, on a different, better LEVEL, man, and this petty politics just drags on him.”

        1. “I’m a little man, I’m a little man, he’s. . .he’s a great man! I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across floors of silent seas.”

    3. It remained unclear how much the disclosure would affect the broader debate over the I.R.S.’s problems.

      How it should, or how it actually will?

    4. Nobody tells him nuthin’.

      (Seriously, there are only two scenarios here: either Obama has absolutely no idea what in the hell his underlings are up to, and hence is completely incompetent, or he knew and committed an impeachable offense. There is absolutely no way you can defend this guy, and yet hordes of idiotic leftards are trying to do just that).

    5. What’s been particularly revealing about these scandals is just how obsessed Team Blue is with the acquisition and retention of power and maintenance of the status quo at the expense of supposed political principles. They’re going to every length to excuse both the administration and corrupt government institutions, because to not do so means admitting that the government as a whole has grown to such a scale that it’s no longer accountable to anyone or anything, and cannot be effectively managed in an open, transparent manner.

      This basically destroys the progressive ideology that there’s no problem a new government program or agency can’t fix, and so they’re forced to defend Obama and the IRS for acting in ways that they would, and did, crucify Bush for doing. It shows that they don’t have a problem with the methods, per se, just with whom those methods are directed against.

    6. Huh? The king of shitweasels lied? Unnnnnpossible!

    1. Adelia Elmer may want to start being suspicious right about now.

    2. Erin Burnett totally flipped out about this last night on her show. I had it on for a few minutes and I was like uh…yes, Pat Robertson is an idiot, but is this really news? She is supposed to be better than that. But she was pissssssssssssssed.

    3. He’s got a point…

  27. Professional Piece of Shit Julian Bond thinks that targeting Tea Party organizations on the basis of their displeasing-to-their-masters viewpoints is A-OK:

    http://www.politico.com/story/…..91337.html

    1. See my comment above–they don’t have a problem with corruption, just whom the corruption is used to oppress.

  28. Re: the Rebel Wilson (wtf kind of name is that?) Feministing post mentioned earlier today…

    …fat women have “revolutionary bodies”? Someone compared her to Jonah Hill, but IMO he’s not nearly as fat when you consider the two of them relative to their own genders.

    At least the Asian girl is cute.

    1. Sure, if you consider “revolutionary” to be the equivalent of “obese glutton with high blood pressure and diabetes.”

      Funny how every time I point out to progs that assuming healthcare is a “right” means treating fatties for every ailment they acquire as a result of their weight gain, regardless of cost, they immediately shut up.

    1. Anteaters need a savior too.

    2. This is just like those frogs in Jurassic Park!

    3. I bet Andrew Mendoza blew a nut up in that anteater.

    4. Are you slut-shaming the anteater?

    5. Hermaphrodite Anteater sounds like a terrible US government operation code name.

      Please note no evidence of hermaphroditism is mentioned in the article, the phrase just occurred to me.

      1. “Hermaphrodite Anteater sounds like a terrible US government operation code name.”

        Sounds more like a rock band to me.

    6. “Connecticut conservation officers” says it all. Public employees can’t sex an anteater and lie about it.

      1. Everything about that paragraph confuses me.

  29. Is killing a fetus murder?

    I believe that human life begins at conception. I believe that if you force a woman, either by violence or deception, to lose a fetus, you have taken a life. But I also shudder at the prospect of the anti-choice lobby exploiting revolting crimes to prevent women from access to their constitutional right to abortion. We have spent the last several years watching it happen, as abortion opponents have tried to leverage fetal-protection laws to chip away at choice. That’s why we need to continue to be vigilant in articulating the difference between a choice a woman makes and an act of violence against her body and her fetus, an act that robs her of that very freedom she is entitled to. We must be clear that being pro-choice is not tantamount to condoning repulsive, criminal behavior. Remee Lee told reporters this week that she’s grieving because she “dreams of becoming a mom.” And this, she says, “was my chance.”

    Yes, but either the fetus has rights or it doesn’t. Killing it without the consent of the mother does not make it a victim of homicide if you’re going to argue that the mother hiring someone to kill isn’t also homicide.

    1. “I believe that abortion is taking a life, but I also believe that women have the constitutional right to take a life”

      Yeah, that is not scary at all.

      1. Let’s combine that notion with the woman who wrote the Mothers’ Bill of Rights and claimed an absolute right to protect their children.

        Now that’s scary.

    2. constitutional right to abortion

      *boggle*

    3. In regard to the article, which I hadn’t clicked on the first time i posted…(assumed it was about Gosnell)

      Honestly, why does it surprise anyone that shit like that happens? That man is financially responsible for the baby and he lives in a culture that says abortion is ok. Also, if he wants the baby gone, he’s probably not going to compartmentalize it like feminists want him to…since the “it’s ok for the mom to abort, but wrong for the dad even though he is half responsible for it and is legally forced to raise it if she decides to have it” argument makes no sense.

      Not that I think abortion should be committed by men. I don’t like abortion at all. I just think it’s amazing how pro-choices can get away with being so retarded.

      1. pro-choicers*

    4. Killing it without the consent of the mother does not make it a victim of homicide if you’re going to argue that the mother hiring someone to kill isn’t also homicide.

      I have recently come to the conclusion that the acceptance of abortion is mass denial. Few do not know the science of sexual reproduction.

      Life is a chain of life. The huge majority of people understand, Monty Python skits notwithstanding, that new human life begins when the two living cells combine to form a new individual. They also know that before birth, there is no time after conception, that an embryo is not alive, human and an individual. Strangely, science doesn’t use the term “person” but uses terms like individual, human and living.

      After attempting to cloud the issue of human, individual and alive they then begin to categorize natural rights. Unpersons do not have a right not to be murdered by their mothers. Yes, they concede that the individuals in question are alive and that they are human but they are of the different kind that don’t really have the right to not be murdered. Often the fact that individual human beings die before birth is claimed as a reason to deny their right not to be murdered.

      It is all denial because unplanned pregnancies can be very inconvenient. Much, much easier to rationalize evil.

      1. Then you are being deliberately obtuse. None of what you say about how life works is in question. The question is what gives a living organism the full moral status of a human being. I’m not going to argue about what that is right now, but it is nto a scientific question and cannot be answered by observing that an embryo is alive and genetically distinct from the mother.

        1. well said

        2. You seem to be the one being obtuse:

          Yes, they concede that the individuals in question are alive and that they are human but they are of the different kind that don’t really have the right to not be murdered.

  30. Four members of the LulzSec hacking group have been sentenced to between two and two-and-a-half years in prison in England.

    “Not so funny now is it, funny man?”

  31. Congress demands answers on Google Glass privacy concerns

    Weird how they’re not worried about the government video-taping citizens, just citizens taping each other.

    1. What concerns?

      If you do something in front of someone wearing google contacts (Im projecting into the future, but not that far), it isnt private.

      Dont want your one night stand on the internet? Dont have a one night stand. Honestly, thats the only prevention in the future.

      Well, I guess contractual stuff, but that doesnt stop it, it just allows you to pull it down later, and possibly sue.

  32. I AM THE 58%!

    *poops pants*

  33. Justin Bieber given until midnight tonight to rescue pet monkey from German customs

    1. “I’m as happy as a little guuuurrll.”

      1. “Now’s the time on Sprockets when we dance!”

    1. What? But that’s the right answer! I know, I was pre-law.

    2. you know who else had a sensitive gag reflex?

        1. As much statist cock as he gobbles I’m guessing he has the gag reflex of Linda Lovelace.

  34. -Do not swallow the water you swim in.

    Outrage!

  35. Man, I just saw a TSA employ I want to grope me, but our shitty regional airport only has regular metal detectors. Next time I’ll forget a knife in my pocket or something.

  36. Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

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