Cops Shot at State Police SUV During Boston Bombing Manhunt

They were misinformed

Andrew Kitzenberg

CBS News reviews the "fog of war" during the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombing and the misinformation that swirled in the media:

For example, an initial report issued police incorrectly claimed that the suspects robbed a 7-Eleven.

Another false report put out over the police radio said that the suspects had stolen a state police SUV.

The police radio dispatcher advised, "Lots of shots being fired, stolen SUV from state police, copy, stolen SUV from state police." The false report led to officers firing on a Massachusetts State Police SUV that was occupied by another police officer and an FBI agent. No one was hurt but the origin of the false report remains a mystery.

Then there was the Internet's processing of pictures from the Boston marathon to find as many suspects in the photos as possible, two of whom were splashed across the front page of the New York Post despite not being suspected of anything. It wasn't just the Post either. Last week The Atlantic broke down how so many media outlets (including them) ran with two names for the Boston bombing suspects on late Thursday night/early Friday morning based largely on speculation from Reddit and not on anything factual at all.

Could the feds be much better? Their case against the first Ricin suspect fell apart within days, while at least one Internet sleuth came to the same conclusion the FBI, with a lot more resources and manpower than her, originally did.

Comments

[Pro Libertate]

Interesting that the guy was found by a "civilian" less than an hour after being freed from home.

[Auric Demonocles]

But the cops did such a great job!

[Pro Libertate]

I think some of what law enforcement did was fine, but yes, it's a little sad that the common folk's role in nabbing these guys is completely discounted.

[Pro Libertate]

And that the draconian steps taken were, if anything, counterproductive.

[Tman]

"As our circle of knowledge increases, so does our perimeter of ignorance."

Increasing the amount of information available through communication technology can be helpful for certain things, but can hinder others very easily. Someone still has to sift through all the noise before a reasonable conclusion can be reached.

There has been an almost insurmountable amount of noise involving the whole bombing story.

[Overt]

Right. When the whole Revolution thing happened in Iran, all my friends were euphoric about how Twitter was changing things by making information free and giving these people a new weapon in their war.

Bullshit.

I went on Twitter and was disgusted by how much absurdly bad information was on there. And of course, new weapon or not, the Iranian revolution was squashed pretty bad.

I live and die by the internet, but I recognize that it has its limitations. While twitter (and other avenues) was important for getting information out, this only had limited uses. People were accusing one another (often baselessly) of being spies. They were distributing very bad information about how to avoid "tracking" in ways that could have gotten people hurt. And it did nothing to help with anything more than awareness.

In other Green Revolution places, while the intertubes rovided some help, it was organized groups with command and control that eventually managed to take over. This shouldn't be forgotten.

[Tman]

I think people have a woeful misconception about data gathering and processing in general. I remember when Hubble went live and they started the dirty work of sifting through the images to attempt to do some science with the new data. I forget the exact analogy, but one of the project workers explained that the amount of data coming in would take hundreds if not thousand of years to analyze even a fraction of the data produced working 24/365 with the available workers at hand. They've recently crowd sourced a lot of this work and it's helped, but it still barely makes a dent in the amount of data available.

Similarly with the marathon bombing, within minutes after it happened there was a tidal wave of noise crashing over the net, with the vast majority of it being fact-free and mostly based on speculation and innuendo.

A week later and it hasn't really changed that much.

[John]

All of the information distracts you and camouflages what is important. I have yet to see how any of this technology, other than citizens with cell phone constantly taping everything, helped break this case at all. If this bombing had happened 30 years ago before the internet, the cops would have looked at the various security camera tape, started picking out suspicious people in the take and tracking down everyone they could find who was there. And I bet anything, they would have found these guys as fast or faster.

[Overt]

And my understanding is that this case was solved the exact same way: a couple cops sitting in a room going over hours and hours of footage.

Just because you have a face doesn't fix anything. You need to backtrace, make sure you are sure, disregard bad leads and then once sure, surface that information to people for consumption.

The internet squads just surfaced raw footage and speculated. As a result they just transferred data, and didn't add value to it.

The unfortunate thing is that this isn't impossible. If you think of the problem like an email box full of spam, you see there are lots of solutions. Machine learning can disregard true spam, filter out noise (like ads you are subscribed to) and then surface important messages. The problem is this isn't applied to places like Twitter. It's just a faulkneresque stream of consciousness

[John]

The problem is that we don't know what is important until we have solved the case. A spam filter works because we know what spam looks like and can tell the machine what it needs to learn. In cases like this, all of the dots they are always going on about connecting, only make sense after you know the person is guilty. So I don't think we will ever be able to use machine learning to sort though all of this information.

[Overt]

What machine learning can do NOW is cluster information.

Consider twitter, or a message board. People are commenting, offering data, and repeating one another and carrying on conversations. Each post/tweet is a packet of info.

You throw that corpus of data into a hadoop cluster and have your program start grouping that data. It can be pre-trained to group on common information (like keywords, forum threading, retweet trails, common hyperlinks, etc). This is output as a cluster stream- groups of packets.

Now the reviewer has stuff presorted. As he/she goes through, he can say whether a cluster is important, or a dead end. Within a cluster, he can say "this piece is very important, I need more like it". The machine is getting these value statements and using it to assemble new clusters- both out of the existing data and new data as it comes in.

[John]

Pre sorted by what though? That is the problem, you don't know what to look for. You only know "this piece if very important" if you know how it fits into the rest of the story, which is of course what you don't know and what you are trying to find out.

[Overt]

That's the beauty of parallel processing. As noted, at first it can just group conversations which, alone, is quite useful when you are trying to organize a bunch of disparate online chatter.

But once you start seeing stuff that is important to you, you score it higher. Now the machine begins looking at the stuff you scored higher and begins hypothesizing about what is the same about them, and presents you with new clusters. You score those.

So where this would be important is if you see a person of interest and the system goes out and brings back all the data on them.

No, it doesn't auto-find the culprit, or what is important. What it does is take the stuff you find important and quickly go through all the data to get more like it.

[Bam!]

Is anyone surprise that initial reports were inaccurate?

[tarran]

Interestingly, had the cops killed the FBI agent in that SUV they lit up, whom do you think the DA would be charging with the crime?

[Ptah-Hotep]

Interestingly, had the cops killed the FBI agent in that SUV they lit up, whom do you think the DA would be charging with the crime?

The bombers. Since it was their actions that set the chain of events in motion that led to the 'tragic' killing. The cops that actually pulled the triggers, nope.

[Acosmist]

Res gestae lasts how long now?

[John]

I bet Carmen Ortiz would have suddenly gotten very interested in prosecuting local cops. The feds would have gone berserk and charged those guys with something.

[Rrabbit]

Interestingly, had the cops killed the FBI agent in that SUV they lit up, whom do you think the DA would be charging with the crime?

Mistakes made by the policy, even if they lead to tragedy, usually do not have any serious consequences for those who made the mistakes.

This is not specific to the US; officers in other countries enjoy similar protections.

[Libertymike]

There are some here who averred that those who categorically rejected that which the MSM promulgated were paranoid nutjobs.

Alex Jones is far more reliable than Dow Jones.

[tarran]

Ummm, no.

[Libertymike]

Well, according to some reports, Tamerlan paid more attention to the former.

Besides, I had to come up with a catchy line-even at the risk of sounding silly.

[dalewalt]

"Well, according to some reports, Tamerlan paid more attention to the former."

Fuck no... an AP story mentioned infowars once, ONCE in an article and that narcissistic jackass is now claiming that they're trying to 'link' him to Tamerlan.

Fuck off and die Alex Jones, you're as useful as my left nipple.

[neoteny]

Fuck off and die Alex Jones, you're as useful as my left nipple.

Stroking Alex Jones releases oxytocin?

[Bee Tagger]

Bull, is Alex Jones's show as much of a bear to get through?

[Dweebston]

Alex Jones, whom I correctly guessed forecasted would attribute the bombing to a false-flag operation, despite having substantially less bullshit resources at my disposal?

[Brandybuck]

If Alex Jones told me that the sun came up this morning, I will still look out my window to be sure.

[NeonCat]

And if it wasn't there? GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!!!

[Episiarch]

We already know that most people and organizations are incompetent to varying degrees. Add in total lack of accountability and the incompetence is going to go through the ceiling. And that's where law enforcement is at this point. Even if you argued that they're not totally lacking in accountability, during a crazy situation like the Boston bombings, any oversight goes out the window.

This is all utterly predictable and will only get worse.

[$park?]

You know who else is incompetent and has a total lack of accountability?

Your mom!

[Episiarch]

It's sad but true.

[I Dug It]

"Fools! You think you can protect yourselves?!"

[Tman]

The most hilarious part to me about this while thing was that the boat owner in Watertown found the second bomber in his boat AFTER the "lockdown" was lifted as he had gone outside for some air. Most of the people there were probably ok with cooperating with law enforcement so they could catch this degenerate, but it's ironic that they didn't find him until the lockdown was lifted.

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

That's not irony, it's the retardation inherent in the system.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

like rain, on your wedding day

[$park?]

More like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife, I think.

[Episiarch]

I hate you both. Alannis Morrisette is a bridge too far.

[$park?]

You oughta know.

[NoVAHockey]

A little too far... yeah, I really do think

[Clich? Bandit]

I am going to say a black fly in your chardonnay

[Kaptious Kristen]

I bet the po-po were thinking of me when they fucked Watertown.

[el esc?ptico]

Winner!

[Zeb]

Oh, god, I heard that song recently. I had forgotten how terrible it really is. She's a terrible singer, the backing track is also terrible and the lyrics are borderline retarded.

[SugarFree]

The Boston Bombers were radical Muslims. This information has never been mentioned on TReason before mow.

[Episiarch]

You mean "before meow", right? Referring to the lolcat revolution? I'm confused.

[Tman]

HERCULUS DELENDA EST!!!!!!!

[Paul.]

No, he meant "before Mao".

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

I read it as "before meow" with "meow" a close approximation to a Cartman-esque version of "now." And it was highly appropriate.

[SugarFree]

My thanks to you, Nicole of the Glittering.

[Episiarch]

Don't use her as cover for your typos! Just admit you meant to type "your mom".

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

You can't tell Sug how he can or can't use me! You're not our mom!

[Episiarch]

I thought you were still unclaimed property. Doesn't that mean any of us can tell someone how to use you however we want?

[Nikki makes the sign of a tsp]

No, it means you can tell me. Duh. SF is a man. He gets to do what he wants.

Plus he actually offered to claim me, unlike some people. And take me to a tractor pull. And Wal-Mart. I mean...the romance is basically too much at this point; my whoring days may be over.

[SugarFree]

my whoring days may be over

I get a lot of women to say that.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

who can compete with that

[#HOLO YOLO]

I thought you were still unclaimed property.

Wait, so one of us should homestead her?

[SugarFree]

nicole knows me in a way could never, you disgusting man! What she and I have together is pure!

[Loki]

Alright, meow.

[$park?]

It really hasn't been warm enough for the grass to get long enough to need a mowing. Conspiracy?

[SugarFree]

I type in mysterious ways.

[Heroic Mulatto]

No, SF, you are incorrect. They werent' "radical Muslims"; they were "totally RAD Muslims" who regularly got stoked after doin' the Dew.

[SugarFree]

EXTREME!

[jesse.in.mb]

Getting stoked makes me think of this news report on the dangers of getting stoked

[Overt]

The question is, what is the alternative?

The wild finger-pointing and near-libelous accusations in the press and on 4chan/reddit/etc wasn't much better. And the threat of accountability for a person posting a picture on 4chan is far lower.

It is probably a bad idea to look at a crisis and come to conclusive judgements about the way things ought to work.

I think the Boston PD comes off as clowns in this whole thing. From their willingness to walk by discarded bags without so much as a look to their lockdown during the manhunt. But that's because the boston pd are a bunch of clowns, not because organized crisis response is structurally bad.

And this is especially true given the absolute catastrophe of the public's "posse" response to this whole thing.

[Paul.]

The wild finger-pointing and near-libelous accusations in the press and on 4chan/reddit/etc wasn't much better. And the threat of accountability for a person posting a picture on 4chan is far lower.

What happens on 4chan and reddit is something that you look at and say, *shrug*, "it's 4chan and Reddit". The fact that trained journalists were reprinting that shit as news tells us far more about modern journalism than it does about 4chan or Reddit.

[Episiarch]

Yes, and the words that jump into my head are "unfathomably lazy" and "utterly without professionalism or integrity".

[Overt]

True.

My comment was more on the "fixing things" side, rather than the "reporting shit" side. Everyone should look at early reports (regardless of where they came from) and take them as preliminary- indeed that's usually what is put in a responsible journalist's (oxymoron?) report.

But my comment was around the police force. Were the keystone cop antics of the BPD proof that command and control doesn't work, or just a symptom of how bad the organization was?

The alternative to an organized police force seems to be something like a posse that is empowered to go fix things. My point was that I think that reddit/4chan should give us pause.

[Anonymous Coward]

The fact that trained journalists were reprinting that shit as news

Can we dispense with the idea that "journalists" are investigators? Based on what I've observed, most of them are nothing but shameless gossip-mongers who have a shield against defamation suits.

[Episiarch]

To be honest, I was kind of stunned that the Mass State Police let BPD run this show, considering that yes, they are total clowns. So are the Mass State Police, but they still have hierarchy if they want it.

[John]

Doesn't Mass have a state version of the FBI? Most states do and they generally take over from city cops in cases like this.

[Brendan]

I think the Mass State Police is that agency similar to Georgia's GBI, Utah's BCI, etc.

[Brendan]

Sorry, not Utah's BCI. I'm thinking of something else.

[$park?]

The wild finger-pointing and near-libelous accusations in the press and on 4chan/reddit/etc wasn't much better.

Anyone who goes to either of those sources seeking reliable, up-to-date information deserves whatever end result they end up believing.

I put on NBC that Monday because I wanted to watch some shows. Instead I got 5 solid hours of mindless nattering from talking heads with no new information. Their only goal was to stay on the TV just in case something actually happened. Since nothing was happening, they decided to fill the time with bullshit.

[Auric Demonocles]

That's what the radio on Friday was, but for about 14 hours.

[$park?]

I know people around here don't care for Jon Stewart, but I saw a clip from the Daily Show where he was going over CNN's coverage of events in Watertown. It was hysterical.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'll have to check it out. As long as it's not a political topic (or Dems aren't in power), he's pretty good.

[Generic Stranger]

When Stewart isn't being a TEAM'tard, he can be brilliant. Unfortunately, that's not nearly often enough.

[John]

What stranger said. When Stewart actually tries to make fun of the media instead of shilling for team blue, he can be very funny. That is what makes him being a douche bag so much of the time so frustrating. He has talent. He can do better but chooses not to.

[John]

Exactly. Also, the one way they might ever get called to account is for something bad happening on their watch. So if you never are called to account for accidentally shooting someone but you might be called to account for another bomb going off, which are you going to worry about more? In a situation like this the cops are panicked and totally unaccountable for the incidental damage they might do.

[Paul.]

The police radio dispatcher advised, "Lots of shots being fired, stolen SUV from state police, copy, stolen SUV from state police." The false report led to officers firing on a Massachusetts State Police SUV that was occupied by another police officer and an FBI agent. No one was hurt but the origin of the false report remains a mystery.

I'm not seeing a problem here.

[Brendan]

Indeed. Sounds like the only bright spot in this incident.

[Paul.]

Then there was the Internet's processing of pictures from the Boston marathon to find as many suspects in the photos as possible, two of whom were splashed across the front page of the New York Post despite not being suspected of anything.

Heard a report on NPR about this a couple of days ago. NPRs conclusion: damn those internets.

[Zeb]

What?

[Paul.]

By "what" I'm assuming you're aghast at NPRs conclusion.

The best I could tell from the huffy person doing the report, it came down to how irresponsible the internets and the chat can be, and how dangerous people saying whatever they want is.

[Pro Libertate]

While we're talking about the East Coast, I have a question: Where was Ape City?

[Episiarch]

It's obviously Worcester, MA. Dumbass.

[Pro Libertate]

That's stupid. You're stupid. From the movie, the more likely explanation is that Ape City was to the southeast somewhere. Or maybe mostly due east.

[$park?]

Martha's Vineyard?

[BakedPenguin]

Due East? So, Long Island?

[Pro Libertate]

Though I must admit that Worcester does fit, culturally.

[John]

Fall River. It was just that the river had silted up and it was no longer on the sea.

[Pro Libertate]

I suppose Ape City could've been north of NYC, but it seems more likely to me that it was southeast. Taylor rides with the ocean to his right for X hours/days.

[John]

If you have ever been to Fall River, you would have no doubt that was where it will be.

[Tim]

I was born and raised in Gloucester, that statue at the end was the remains of Gloucester Fisherman.

[John]

Fisherman are rough people. There are some people in Gloucester that you rally wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley.

[Restoras]

I was born and raised in Gloucester, that statue at the end was the remains of Gloucester Fisherman.

Good Harbor Beach is one of my favorite places.

[Pro Libertate]

Not New Jersey? Dr. Zaius' politics seem somehow New Jerseyish to me.

[John]

Maybe that is where the chimps are from. But the Gorillas, Fall River all the way.

[Tim]

What was he a Doctor of? One might ask.

[John]

He ran the man house at the zoo. So I would assume he was some kind of vet or zoologist.

[Tim]

Interestingly " Dr. Zaius " is Episiarch's mom's nickname for her crotch. FYI

[SugarFree]

If you assume the lower left is Manhattan and Ape City is between the four hills (we know it's on the river), then Ape City is on Staten Island. If that spit of land is Bayonne, then Ape City is in Woodsbridge Township, NJ.

But that map doesn't indicate where the dig site might be.

[Pro Libertate]

That map does seem to indicate that Ape City must be closer to New York City than I thought.

[SugarFree]

lower right is Manhattan

derp

[Pro Libertate]

I knew what you meant. Oddly, I said left when I meant right in the Morning Links, when I first brought this up. Must be some innate reaction when talking about apes.

[John]

I am thinking Woodsbridge, NJ. It is Manhattan. NY Harbor had silted up.

[Tim]

But that map doesn't indicate where the dig site might be.

Has to be on the ocean shore, not the riverbanks

[Pro Libertate]

Given his vast knowledge of man and his accent, I figure he's a Harvard guy.

What, you thought the apes ruled the world? All we ever saw was the city. We're still fine--it wasn't a nuclear war, just NYC getting nuked.

[Pro Libertate]

Crap, how did this get here? I was responding to the question about Dr. Zaius' education.

[John]

And the tribes of speechless people are just Williamsberg hipsters who went feral after the blast?

[SugarFree]

No, Williamsberg is The Forbidden Zone, where feral fixie bikes roam the land and the far-off sounds of an oompah band haunt your nightmares.

The speechless people all descended from those trapped in the Paramus Mall.

[Tim]

Into didn't get nuked, what we saw is the logical result of 2,000 years of tax and spend liberalism and public schools. Those mutants? NEA.

[Pro Libertate]

So much is clear to me now.

[Loki]

Were any of these cops named Keith Stone?

[generic Brand]

Question: How sure are we that these are even the right guys? I haven't followed this too much, but is there any possibility that they fit the profile (foreigners who were carrying a big backpack the day of the bombing) and everything else is just circumstantial? I can imagine I'd be on the run too if the entire internet suddenly tagged me for a crime I didn't commit. And it could also explain why they were found where they were and not 4 states over as would have made more sense.

Sorry to get all conspiracy theory here, but there are still a lot of unanswered questions, and the police were only too happy to shoot up the suspects (and that Boston PD representative cocksucker didn't answer a single relevant question when I saw his press conference yesterday).

[Pro Libertate]

Weren't they tossing pipebombs at the cops or something? Is there any independent verification of that?

Not that I believe any conspiracy theories about this in the slightest.

[SugarFree]

I don't think innocent people gear up, rob a 7/11, kill a kampus kop, and boast about the crime to a carjack victim.

[John]

And they also told the guy that they car jacked they were the ones who had done the bombings. It would be quite a collection of coincidences if two guys who happened to be radical Muslims, were photographed at the scene, robbed a 9-11, killed a campus cop, stole a car, and later bragged about doing it, were innocent.

[Spoonman.]

robbed a 9-11

Heh.

[Pro Libertate]

Say, that's a good idea. Have a beer emergency? Call 9-11.

[generic Brand]

Well according to the first the second paragraph (first quoted paragraph) in this article, the 7-11 robbery was incorrect. I had never heard about the boasting to the carjack victim. And the campus cop death could fit in with either scenario, I think.

I'm mistrusting of the government's story in all this (like just about everything). That doesn't necessarily mean I support the brothers, but I'm very curious to see this go to trial and have the whole thing come out, so hopefully he lives that long.

[John]

Here is why you can trust the government's story. If the government were going to make shit up and frame someone, it wouldn't have been these guys. These guys being guilty serve no political purpose for the government. They want domestic non Islamic terrorists. The last thing they want is another al Quada related attack.

[generic Brand]

I disagree. The media and the left wants a non-Islamic terrorist so that they can push their agenda. The right and the military wants any foreign national so that they can perpetuate their foreign policy. So this is the perfect culprit for at least half the country.

[John]

One, the military doesn't care. Unless it can be traced back to a country we can go to war with, this won't help the military's budget and that is all they care about. Two, the right isn't in charge. To believe they framed these guys to please the right you have to believe that the FBI has gone rogue and is actively trying to embarrass and undermine the President. That is possible but highly unlikely. These were the last guys the FBI or DOJ or the White House wanted found responsible for this.

[Calidissident]

That's bullshit John. Not saying these guys or innocent or that the government did it, but quit pretending that there aren't plenty of people (right AND left) that would be perfectly ok with utilizing Islamic terrorism to pass their agenda. However, I think it wouldn't be Chechen refugees who came here when they were young and were radicalized here who would be the culprits in that case

[mad libertarian guy]

Another ti-bit from the media that makes me more likely to believe their narrative was that they killed the cop specifically to get his gun.

With the hoopla over gun control the last week, they would have hammered over and over how these guys got guns legally and if only there was a legitimate way to check their backgrounds before they could get their guns, none of this would have happened.

[I Dug It]

U R making me uncomfortable.

[alan_s]

Given that they were throwing explosives at police while on the run, I find it highly unlikely. However, as long as this guy gets his day in court instead of arbitrarily being detained as an enemy combatant like some fools are suggesting, then at least concerns like yours can actually be examined, rather than all of us just taking the FBI's word for it that this is the right guy.

[Pro Libertate]

That is one point in the government's favor, that he's being tried as a criminal. It also cuts very much against a government-involved conspiracy, as their best case is for him to be dead.

[Zeb]

I'm pretty sure that the guy who is still alive has admitted it to police at this point (assuming you are willing to believe them). The video that shows him dropping a backpack right where the bomb went off shortly after also seems like pretty strong evidence.

[Kaptious Kristen]

officers firing on a Massachusetts State Police SUV that was occupied by another police officer and an FBI agent. No one was hurt

That's some fine marksmanship, there, Lou.

[John]

Trained professionals Kristen. This is why weapons should only be in the hands of trained professionals.

[Tman]

They guys who took the pictures of the shoot out are at least 50 yards from the bombers hiding behind the Mercedes, yet they had bullet holes in their walls (one went through a chair in the front room).

I'd like to think that those were ricochet's, but who knows.

[John]

Doubtful. If they were ricochets they probably wouldn't have the velocity to go through a wall. If they went though a wall and lodged in a couch, they were probably VFR direct from the cop's weapon. The only way to excuse the cops here is that the bullets might have been from the suspects.

[John]

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/20.....ban-teens/

I bet they were hipsters. He should have shot them.

[Zeb]

How would one go about determining whether or not they were hipsters? Is it even possible to be a hipster if you live in Detroit?

[jesse.in.mb]

Detroit is a hipster magnet. It's one of the few urban regions where you can truly be a bohemian because the cost of living is so low. Maybe they'll be able to rock some magical gentrification!

[Tim]

So you fired at an SUV with two cops in it. Presumably you felt there was a reason to fire, right? I mean beyond the reason that you're pant shitting scared.

[Brendan]

Sounds like BPD took a page from LAPDs playbook.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

Speaking of rare but necessary, had a use of force on a trespass subject at a trailer park last night. He was NOT going to go gently into that good night. Fortunately, we had 4 witnesses to the force as well as our verbalization preceeding it which is always a good thing. It wasn't very fog of war, though. This guy also had a nose that had been broken many times (good sign of a guy who likes to fight) and was in WACIC as "armed and dangerous". No muss, no fuss. Just your local constabulary doing what's necessary to keep the people safe from crime.

[$park?]

You're my hero. Will you move to MA and keep me safe now?

[Dunphy (the real one)]

I used to be a cop in Mass. I was definitely a Masshole. Keeping those mean streets of Martha's Vineyard (lol) safe. Good time, good times.

I love MA, but it has some of the wackiest criminal and case law of any state in the country.

The thing is , it IS kind of scary. I'll admit that. Guy was about 6'2 240 and also hadn;t been patted down yet. We knew he was a fighter, and was listed "armed and dangerous". He had already been in a fight involving choking with one of the trailer park residents (which is why he was getting trespassed). Double arm bar takedown did the job, but you never know. I'll admit it can be scary.

[sarcasmic]

He had already been in a fight involving choking

From what I've overheard listening to drunk cops, choking people is one of the greatest joys about being a cop. That next to killing people or holding a gun to someone's head until they piss their pants.

Did you offer this guy a job?

[Dunphy (the real one)]

I've explained to you about gallows humour and braggadacio right?

I've heard ER docs and nurses talk similarly about trying to cause max pain with needle sticks and doing other fucked up shit. It's called gallows humour and it's part of the job. If you believe it represents the way cops actually do their job (or ER nurse/docs), yer wicked crazy y0.

Taser totally would have been justified, but we did it old skool style - double arm bah (Mass style) takedown.

No muss, no fuss

[sarcasmic]

Somehow I doubt I will ever hear a doctor or nurse complain that they have never had the opportunity to kill someone. I can't say the same about cops.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

Research Iatrogenic deaths. Doctors make cops look like pikers when it comes to killing people AND not being held accountable. When you are the one signing the death certificate and doing the "investigation" and you are the one who fucked up and killed the patient in the first place, there 's not much accountability.

Seriously. Doctors blow us away (no pun intended) when it comes to causing deaths

[sarcasmic]

Yeah. There's no difference between someone dying on the operating table and someone being beaten to death. Sure. Whatever you say.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

No difference. nice strawman

[$park?]

I was joking actually. I really hate you and hope you and nobody like you ever live near me. I'm glad you're so full of self-importance that you thought I was serious though. And by all means, keep telling us how awesome you are for taking down an "armed and dangerous" guy.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

I am aware you were joking. But I don't hate you. I will share the love with you. Feel it!!!!

I am pretty awesome though, thanks. So was my partner. He's a big strong dude with lots of restraint

[$park?]

You can share your love with your big strong dude of a partner. I'm sure he'll love being able to use the restraints again. Does he get more excited when you pretend like you're trying to break free?

[Dunphy (the real one)]

No, serious. I'll continue to be the working class hero, heroically protecting you from bad guys and things that go bump in the night while you are tucked safely away in your buzz lightyear bedsheets!

Im here for you . Ph33l the love!

[$park?]

I feel safer every night I know you're all the way on the opposite coast of the US.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

fuck sparky don't encourage him

[Dunphy (the real one)]

smooches! I can protect you too AP. Plenty of I'm from the govt and I'm here to help to go around!!!

[Libertymike]

From whom?

Vile human beings like me?

[$park?]

I doubt I'd need someone like Officer Friendly here to protect me from you.

[Libertymike]

Oh, thank goodness. I was beginning to think that you really thought I was a vile human being.

[$park?]

I do, but why would I need a cop of Dunphy's caliber to protect me from you?

[Libertymike]

You wouldn't because I practice that silly NAP thingy.

[$park?]

Good for you, would you like a medal? Some kind of special acknowledgment? Maybe something that shows that one day you might be able to wear big boy pants?

Just out of curiosity, how important to you is it that every Internet stranger likes you?

[Libertymike]

Spark, the schools had not yet begun giving out awards to everybody when I was a youngster.

Same thing with Little League and Pop Warner-they had not yet begun to award trophies to every lad just for being there.

As to your last question, given what you think of my assessments of Officer Friendly's ilk, what do you think?

[$park?]

I'm just trying to figure out why you're obsessing over the fact that I think you're vile. I think John is flat out evil, and I've told him that. He doesn't get all uptight about it every time he responds to a comment of mine.

[Libertymike]

Perhaps I should be more like two of my favorite cinematic characters, Tom Doniphon (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance) and Col. John Henry Thomas (The Undefeated).

Henceforth, I will not get all uptight about it.

[#HOLO YOLO]

The Marcy G troll from the other thread reminds me of the crazy Russian chick that stalked me in high school.

[John]

There is no sexy like crazy sexy.

[$park?]

Are you sure she was stalking you? Maybe she just wanted to borrow a pencil.

[John]

Everyone wants a stalker. It is good for the ego. Some people just invent theirs.

[#HOLO YOLO]

Her: Why are you always so formal when you post online?
Me: What?
Her: On forums.
Me: What forums?
Her: The [redacted] forums.
Me: Wait, so did you Google my screenname and read all my posts or something?
Her: Yes, why?

[John]

She sounds like a fun stalker.

[#HOLO YOLO]

According to mutual acquaintances, after I finally rebuffed her she would stand behind me during robotics club and swing blunt objects in my direction.

[John]

In all seriousness, how many chicks go to robotics club?

[#HOLO YOLO]

4, IIRC.

[$park?]

Well it's right there in the name, robotics club. Duh.

[#HOLO YOLO]

Oy, I usually love puns, but that was pretty bad.

[#HOLO YOLO]

I don't remember if that was before or after she told me about her imaginary horse.

[John]

If I wasn't married, I would ask you for her phone number. Was she cute?

[#HOLO YOLO]

Butterface.

[John]

A lot of Russian chicks are sadly. Those exotic features can be just as bad of a thing as they can be a good thing.

[Dunphy (the real one)]

Yea, but the fine ones are FINE!!! My friend married a russian chick (was not a mail order as far as I know) and she is off the hook epic.

[#HOLO YOLO]

Heh, when I look at white porn it's usually Russian chicks.

[$park?]

If it hadn't been for that horse, she'd have never spent that year in college.

[Auric Demonocles]

Another youngin'?

[#HOLO YOLO]

I thought that was already established?

[Auric Demonocles]

Is that the right link?

[#HOLO YOLO]

Brett L

Lighten up, Francis.

Thane of Whiterun

Francis?

I don't get it.
reply to this

JW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OnpkDWbeJs

Thane of Whiterun

^ Yeah, that pretty much sounds like me.

Francisco d Anconia

I can't believe you didn't recognize that line.

How old are you?

Thane of Whiterun

Not old enough, apparently

[Auric Demonocles]

Ah, handle change.

And I don't get that reference either, so it doesn't really tell me if you're young or just not as old as these geezers.

Google in high school does tell me you're young (though the YOLO implied it).

[$park?]

And I don't get that reference either, so it doesn't really tell me if you're young or just not as old as these geezers.

You just made the list buddy.

[#HOLO YOLO]

#HOLO YOLO is appropriated from /r/androidcirclejerk

[Loki]

"Crazy" and "Russian chick" are practically redundant.

[sloopyinca]

I don't fault the cops for the level of confusion. In high-stress, dynamic situations there's expected to be a large amount of confusion, false reporting and general disarray.

Where I do fault them, however, is in their inability to adhere to the 4A in the ensuing timeframe, as well as their lack of being held accountable for gross negligence and reckless endangerment of the general public. Fortunately there were no shooting victims here like there were in the Dorner case, but since neither of those women were killed and they accepted a settlement, there will be no accountability there either.

[John]

If they had formed citizens militias who went out armed to look for these guys, I can't see how they could have performed any worse. Given that, exactly what are we paying taxes for?

[sloopyinca]

Given that, exactly what are we paying taxes for?

Because PubSec unions have taken the state and local political processes hostage. At least that's what the taxes you're referring for are going to. The federal taxes are to pay for bloated bureaucracies and for idiotic giveaways to companies like Fisker, Solyndra, Boeing, McDonnell-Douglass, General Dynamics and almost every other government contractor.

Shit, John, you should have known the answer to the question before you even asked it. Just look at your pay stub.

[John]

It was a rhetorical question.

[Ron]

The cops in San diego, New York and now Boston are doing a great job of shooting innocent people. And they want to use drones also now. I can't wait to see the extent of the collateral damage form a drone firing a rocket on a 7-11 that someone thinks is being robbed because someone is wearing camo's.

[sloopyinca]

I can't wait to see the extent of the collateral damage form a drone firing a rocket on a 7-11 that someone thinks is being robbed because someone is wearing camo's.

Yeah, it'll probably be as bad as the fallout that occurred when the city of Philadelphia dropped a bomb on a fucking apartment building. IOW, not a fucking thing will happen except the city will blame the bombing victim for the crimes their officers commit.

[An0nB0t]

The shootings during the Dorner manhunt were in LA, not San Diego. Not to defend cops anywhere, but there's no confusing San Diego and Los Angeles.

[CampingInYourPark]

OT: "Biden Cracks Joke at Memorial Service for Slain Police Officer"

"'One of my favorite poets is Seamus Heaney,' said Biden, who is of Irish descent. 'I know the congressman thinks I always quote Irish poets because I'm Irish. That's not the reason I do it. I quote Irish poets because they're the best poets and that's the reason why,' Biden deadpanned. 'And the Collier family knows that, right?'

Biden continued, 'But all kidding aside...'"

http://www.weeklystandard.com/.....19082.html

[sloopyinca]

Do you also make fun of retarded kids while watching the Special Olympics? Because mocking Biden is basically the same thing.

[Anonymous Coward]

That's My BushBiden!

[John Galt]

SUV 54 where are you?

[WomSom]

Lets hit it on up one time. WOw.

http://www.GotzPrivacy.tk