Sports

FCC Tacitly Acknowledges That 'Fucking' Can Be a Great Fucking Word

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On Saturday, just before the Boston Red Sox took the field in the first game since the city was shut down to find the marathon bombers, the team handed the mic to beloved slugger David "Big Papi" Ortiz. In front of the mayor, governor, Neil Diamond, and a huge live broadcast audience, Papi dropped one of the better F-bombs you'll see:

Transcript here. As amazing as it may seen, the Federal Communications Commission is still pondering whether and how to punish such "fleeting expletives," even after having some of its FE punishments struck down by the Supreme Court in 2012. As the FCC asks in its request for public comment on its indecency policy [PDF],

For example, should the Commission treat isolated expletives in a manner consistent with our decision in Pacifica Foundation, Inc., Memorandum Opinion and Order, 2 FCC Rcd 2698, 2699 (1987) ("If a complaint focuses solely on the use of expletives, we believe that . . . deliberate and repetitive use in a patently offensive manner is a requisite to a finding of indecency.")? Should the Commission instead maintain the approach to isolated expletives set forth in its decision in Complaints Against Various Broadcast Licensees Regarding Their Airing of the "Golden Globe Awards" Program, Memorandum Opinion and Order, 19 FCC Rcd 4975 (2004)?

While a jumpy nation waits to see whether an agency set up to divvy up scarce spectrum continues making a mockery of the phrase "Congress shall make no law," FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski has issued an official Tweet pre-absolving Big Papi (and the broadcasters who carried him live) from blame:

David Ortiz spoke from the heart at today's Red Sox game. I stand with Big Papi and the people of Boston – Julius

Why, it's almost like "fucking" is a rich, colorful word capable of conveying a nearly infinite set of meanings!

There may be an extra benefit to Genachowski's attempt to get on the popular side of a profanity: The Supreme Court's decision in FCC v. Fox reprimanded the agency for enforcing regulations that are unconstitutionally vague. Surely any policy that depends on the definitionally slippery standard of whether Julius "stands" with the curser cannot be anything but arbitrary. It'll be damned hard carving out a new fleeting expletive policy that navigates through the new Genachowski exception while also satisfying SCOTUS. Nice fucking job, Papi. 

NEXT: Half of Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are on Hunger Strike

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  1. The fucking F fucking CC is finally fucking coming to it’s fucking senses. I don’t fucking believe it.

    1. They’re not fucking coming to their fucking senses. Those fucks are jumping on a popular bandwagon to look hip and pro-American-badassery after some other fucks bombed Boston.

      This is a politically calculated move, engineered to make the fucking FCC look good in light of their recent jackassery. Had Big Papi been talking about the Yankees when he said “this is our fucking city,” fleeting or not, he’d be looking at a hefty fine.

      Fuck the fucking FCC in the fucking ear.

      1. Fuck the Red Sox.

        It had to be said.

      2. I was being sarcastic. And taking advantage of the opportunity. But you knew that.

  2. I don’t know how I feel about Matt Welch using the word fucking. Sans beard, he feels like more of an aw shucks or Gee, Wally! kind of guy.

    1. I’m OK with Welch using the word fucking; I’m more frightened by the idea of him doing any actual fucking.

  3. There’s still no absolving him for being a Red Sox.

    Dear fucking Zod, the pants shitting and bloody soiled flag waving over this event is excruciating.

    Hey, Boston tough guys! When DC had a fucking sniper, picking us off one at a time, at a time and place of his choosing, did we shut down? No, we went about our daily lives, just ducking a bit more. Giant, fucking pussies. Why don’t you chicken-shits find some aprons to hide behind?

    1. To be fair to the people of Boston, they had dozens of armored vehicles in their streets and men in black & camo body armor screaming at them to stay indoors anytime they popped their heads out. Only the most obstinate contrarian would see engaging that as a reasonable risk. Many of them may be kissing the asses of the LEOs now that the town is back to the baseline-level police state, but most sheep in most cities would do that anyway.

      But fuck the Red Sox. I was there for Pedro and Nomar, but they and their whole fanbase have been unbearable since the 2004 ALCS.

      1. To be fair to the people of Boston, they had dozens of armored vehicles in their streets and men in black & camo body armor screaming at them to stay indoors anytime they popped their heads out. Only the most obstinate contrarian would see engaging that as a reasonable risk.

        Well, it didn’t happen overnight. And I don’t recall them raising a peep opposing it.

        1. There are a few non-statists in Boston; maybe fewer per capita than Houston or Nashville, but they’re out there. Don’t know that it makes much difference whether it’s 1% or 3% when you’re dealing with a majority that keeps electing Nixon or LBJ clones and dutifully complying when police request to search homes during a state of de facto martial law.

          1. Which all be fine if they could be content to submit only themselves to such an unacceptable form of rule. Unfortunately, they seem to believe it’s their prerogative to force the whole nation to submit as they do. And that’s absolutely unacceptable.

      2. They were bearable before the 2004 ALCS?

        1. Yes, but only because the Yankees are dingleberries wreathing Satan’s asshole. You forget how unbearable they were with Paul O’Neill throwing an Obama-style tantrum after every called strike and Tim McCarver constantly gasping for breath before resuming fellatio on Derek Jeter.

          And fuck you, Tim Tschida.

      3. ^^^ This ^^^ (sans the Sox bashing)

        The “shelter in place” “request” was fucking creepy, but wanting to not get shot (“Officer safety!”) was a reasonably compelling reason not to wander the streets. That, plus most everyone was glued to the TV anyway.

        And, as a Bostonian (well, Somervillian), the ‘Boston Strong’ stuff started out as a nice sentiment and then got out of hand quickly. The police worship also quickly went from “good job” to “OMG, heros!!!!” – there were heros around this last week, but most of them were civilians and, perhaps, a handful of police. The vast majority of police were doing what they actively sought out and what they’re payed handsomely to do – capture criminals.

        Don’t even get me started on the house-to-house searches in Watertown – I’ve yet to hear an explanation of what would have happened if someone declined entry.

        1. Reminds that me I need to go to Redbone’s soon. It’s been too long.
          Mmmmmm…pulled pork.

    2. It’s hilarious because you said they are “tough guys” instead of what they are which some of the nations most cowardly sheep.

    3. I lived in the RIC when Malvo and Muhammad were playing their little games and it was pretty fucking scary. That said, we all went about our normal routine, which involved going to work every fucking day he was running up and down the I-95 corridor. Hell, I was in a bar on Broad Street when the cops got a tip that he was holed up at a Shell station a 1/4 mile away. The bar owner closed the blinds and we kept on getting drunk.

      Had we been in Boston, he would have secreted us away to his (state-mandated) Panic Room untilthe cops gave the all clear signal.

      1. I lived in the RIC when Malvo and Muhammad were playing their little games and it was pretty fucking scary.

        I thought the only thing that scared you was Michigan fans.

      2. Yep I played hockey in Ashland, right near the Ponderosa where they shot the guy.

        Of course the media’s fervent wishcasting had us all looking for a white man in a white van, when the whole time it was two black Muslim guys in a Chevy Caprice.

        They were stopping white vans all over the place, because the damn media really really wanted it to be a white guy, and the real killers were slipping through the net easily.

        1. two black Muslim guys in a Chevy Caprice

          Muhammad was part of the Nation of Islam. He wasn’t a “Muslim” Muslim.

          1. Was he an “infidel” infidel?

        2. The worst part about that whole white van bullshit is that they had an accurate description of the car the very first night. But, Inspector Clouseau Chief Moose decided to ignore that little tidbit and continue to look in the exact opposite direction.

          If there were any justice in this world Moose would have been up on the stand with the other two. Fucking incompetent twit killed almost as many people as they did with his infinite bumbling.

    4. No, we went about our daily lives, just ducking a bit more.

      That will never happen again.

      Shutting the whole city down is the new baseline for events of this kind.

      In the end, we’ll shut cities down for muggings.

      1. I like how the college campus the younger brother went to went on lockdown Friday and actually remained “closed” until Sunday afternoon.

        What the fuck does that even mean? Did they actually close down a campus of a state (taxpayer-funded) school and tell residents they were not allowed to legally enter it?

        Pussies.

      2. In the end, cities will just remain shut. All good sheep know security is far more valuable than any item in the Liberty category.

    5. Hey, Boston tough guys! When DC had a fucking sniper, picking us off one at a time, at a time and place of his choosing, did we shut down? No, we went about our daily lives, just ducking a bit more. Giant, fucking pussies. Why don’t you chicken-shits find some aprons to hide behind?

      It took you morons 3 weeks to catch them and they were sleeping in their fucking car, not tossing IEDs at the fuzz.

      1. Nobody knew what the DC snipers looked like. It took Boston a day to catch a kid who’s picture was on every TV set and who had been shot in the fucking throat. Let’s just agree that everyone’s government is incompetent and leave it at that.

  4. http://deadspin.com/brand-new-…..socialflow

    I bet this guy felt fucking embarrassed.

  5. I like the lady at the end, holding up the “Thank You, Law Enforcement” sign. Seriously, the poor guy who walked out in his backyard to find the bloody mess in his boat should be given a lifetime supply of free beer and Red Sox tickets from the city Boston.

    1. Maybe he could cash in and turn the bloody mess into a tourist attraction. Well, maybe he could if he lived anywhere other than in one of our tightly regulated metro-crap-holes.

  6. I’ll just leave this here.

  7. I like the lady at the end, holding up the “Thank You, Law Enforcement” sign.

    I’m gonna take me a trip to Boston. They swallow with a damn smile on their face.

  8. Big fucking deal.

  9. Fucking language police. Fuck them.

  10. Genachowski is a pandering coward. Just as the First Amendment must be defended even when speech is against popular opinion, so must the state encroachments on free speech be adhered to when the speech is a popular sentiment. Boooooooooo.

  11. Fuck a ‘B’ it’s got two holes.

    Fuck a ‘Q’ it’s got a built in tickler.

    Fuck a ‘T’ it’s got handles.

    Fuck a ‘Z’ it’s kinkier.

  12. Cartman: Don’t call me fat, you fucking Jew!
    Mr. Garrison: Eric! Did you just say the ‘F’ word?
    Cartman: Jew?
    Kyle: No, he’s talking about fuck. You can’t say ‘fuck’ in school, you fucking fatass!
    Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
    Cartman: Why the fuck not?
    Mr. Garrison: Eric!
    Stan: Dude, you just said fuck again!
    Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
    Kenny: Fuck!
    Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
    Cartman: What’s the big deal? It doesn’t hurt anybody. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
    Mr. Garrison: How would you like to see the school counselor?
    Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls? {everyone gasps}
    Mr. Garrison: What did you say?!
    Cartman: Oh, I’m sorry. What I actually said was… [pulls out a bull horn, clears throat, and speaks into bull horn] How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?
    Stan: Holy shit, dude!

    1. That’s what I like about South Park. In the end there’s always a great moral to each story.

      1. I told a woman that I watch South Park and she laughed and said “we all have our brainless stuff, I watch ‘Real Housewives'”.

        I was thinking “dude, if that’s what you’re taking away from ‘South Park’ you’re not paying enough attention… not just to the show, but to anything in life”

  13. It really took me a long time to understand why Fuck was offensive. It’s offensive essentially because it is commonly accepted that it is offensive. It is uttered with the intent to be offensive (or maybe better, with the intent to be exceptionally forceful/shocking).

    It was so hard to grok that because until I had a kid, I fucking said fuck all the time…even in a business setting. I still have a hard time restraining myself from casual f-bombs.

    Not that I think any of this justifies the FCC actions. But I’m curious how the expanded use of Shit on cable TV (thank you Matt and Trey, and now FX is totally on that bandwagon) is going to neuter that word.

    1. It really took me a long time to understand why Fuck was offensive. It’s offensive essentially because it is commonly accepted that it is offensive.

      Absolutely. There’s an extremely profane word in Thai that translates to “monitor lizard”. If your interested in these things, look up “Pragmatics” and “Intercultural Pragmatics”. When I taught IP, the unit on profanity was always my favorite.

  14. Yeah, the “Boston Strong” stuff got way out of hand. Maybe a few thousand were strong – EMT, hospital staff, some cops. But the whole damned city pounding each other on the back as a bunch of tuf gais?
    All in all, we should be singing whatever the theme song is of
    West, TX instead of celebrating every tom dick and harry in Boston who got on the news to report how he was “just two miles away from where the bomb went off, and I go by that location once or twice a month.”

    1. “Tuff Gais” would be a good name for a fruity 1990s boi band.

  15. Baseball has been bedy fuckin’ good to me.

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