A.M. Links: FBI Asking for Clues on Boston Bombing, Arizona Legislature Requires Cities to Sell Guns They "Buy Back," Cyprus to Sell Gold Reserves


  • the government could skip the middle man and just burn the money
    Youth Radio/Foter.com

    The FBI appears to be stumped by the Boston bombing, asking the public for any clues they may have. The Department of Homeland Security, meanwhile, says there's no evidence of a broader bombing plot.

  • An envelope addressed to Senator Roger Wicker tested positive for ricin at a congressional mail facility.
  • The Arizona legislature approved a bill mandating local governments that operate gun buy back programs sell the guns they acquire instead of melting them down and wasting taxpayer money.
  • Mark Sanford, who resigned the governorship of South Carolina over an extramarital affair with an Argentine journalist and is now running against Stephen Colbert's sister for the congressional seat vacated by Tim Scott, must appear in court later this week for allegedly trespassing on his ex-wife's property.
  • The government of Cyprus will be selling a portion of its gold reserves to raise money to secure an EU/IMF bailout.
  • Two rockets were lobbed into southern Israel, apparently from the Egypt-controlled Sinai.
  • Margaret Thatcher's funeral is today.

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  1. The Arizona legislature approved a bill mandating local governments that operate gun buy back programs sell the guns they acquire instead of melting them down and wasting taxpayer money.

    Cash for Clunkers, Part 2: Cash for Clickers

    1. The Search for Curly’s Cold Dead Hands.

    2. So they can spend tax money to buy guns, then sell them back to the tax payers?

      I think we’ve found our way out of the recession here guys!

      1. I don’t know, the gun makers aren’t getting stimulated. (not that they need it right now)

        1. People will buy new guns to sell back to the government, obviously. Why sell back 5 guns when you can sell back 10 or 20?!

          1. Well, they should be careful not to allow anything to sell at auction for less then the money paid out for a “buyback”

            Turn in shitty HiPoint for a 300 dollars.
            Repurchase at auction for 100 dollars.
            Turn in again for 300 dollars.

            1. From what I have heard about them, the buybacks weren’t paying very high prices (assuming a working gun that someone would want).

              1. Well from what I’ve heard they take guns, and give like a hundred bucks in gift cards. They don’t check for function, or real worth.

                Honestly, some factory should show up with all the guns they get sent back that are irreparably damaged. Get something back on warranty claims.

                1. My dad recently gave me an old starter pistol that belonged to my grandfather. They wouldn’t know it’s a starter pistol though. I’d take $100 for it.

                  1. I saw a really worn in the stocks and missing most of the bluing single shot 16 gauge shotgun in the store last time I was there. They wanted fifty bucks for it.

            2. Not necessary. The whole point of this legislation is to shut down these “buybacks” entirely, because they won’t be getting “guns off the street” if the municipality can’t destroy them.

      2. I’ll gladly sell them my Taurus .357 that has gotten finicky about pushing the firing pin far enough forward to ignite a round, then buy something else from them.

        1. Light hits.

          I had a .38 Taurus that would only fire 4 or 5 of every 6 shots.

        2. Yeah your problem there is Taurus.

          1. Agreed. Unfortunately, we don’t do gun buybacks in north FL.

          2. No shit.

            Somebody makes a revolver that isn’t reliable? WTF? Massive fail.

    3. I am still running my privately funded gun buyback. $100 cash (will convert to gift certificate if you like) for any functional .45 cal. 1911. Prefer Colt or S&W. Must be a TN resident.

  2. Axehole Rose walking with a cane.

    1. It’s a loaner from Mr. Brownstone.

    2. That reminds me of the time when I was a wee lad and my friends and I started a club. We put up a sign that said “No grils allowed.”

    3. I am officially old.

      1. The first day I felt old was when I heard a track from the first album I ever purchased on the classic rock station. That album was Appetite for Destruction.

        1. Yeah, I heard Judas Priest “Breaking the Law” used for TV commercial. I’m like it won’t be long until I hear that on an elevator.

          1. The circle will be complete when The David Lee Roth Show becomes the next wave of senior citizens’ The Lawrence Welk Show.

        2. I miss the 80s.

          Anyone seen that 80 documentary “The 80s: The Decade That Made Us” on Nat Geo?

          Brought back memories.

          1. Yeah, I’ve watched it a bit.

            They can’t resist the KLASS WARFARE signalling of how we were all selfish robots, programmed by advertisers, who wanted to just wanted to consume and live in big houses.

            What? Wealthier people want nice things? Lower costs to produce technology causes people to buy more of it? That’s crazy talk!

            1. The way I remember it, is we embraced being wealthy (or wanting to be) and didn’t feel the need, unlike today, to apologize for it.

              1. greed WAS good.

              2. You don’t remember the near-constant drone of public shaming for people who dared to engage in conspicuous consumption?

        3. Perhaps, but the local classic rock station plays Nirvana and Pearl Jam between The Who and Doors.

        4. The first day I felt old was when I heard a track from the first album I ever purchased on the classic rock station. That album was Appetite for Destruction.

          The oldies station in Denver has been playing 80s music pretty consistently for about eight years or so now. I’m not sure if they’ve moved up to the early 90s yet or not.

        5. People, it’s 2013. For scale, [a band forming today] is to Nirvana, as Nirvana is to ZZ Top, as ZZ Top is to the LP record.

    4. Paul Krugman and Steve Forbes agree: BitCoin is for shitwits!

      If that’s not a “buy” signal…

      1. All Forbes says is that they aren’t stable enough in value to be money. And for now, that’s true; they’re a speculative commodity.

    5. I’ve always wanted to get one of those sword canes.

      1. Zatoichi rocks!

    6. I was not a big GnR fan but I had an offer of a free ticket and ride with some friends to a concert. Slash tore it up. He can seriously play some guitar. He was great live.

      1. Anastasia is pure awesomeness:

  3. Friends, I’m….I’m not used to the whole apologizing thing. I’m not a professional apologizer. I’m a…artisanal commenter. So, I wrote a song for you, a new national anthem. I took the lyrics straight from your Dave Wiegel’s book of necronomic spells.

    You may recognize this one, though it hasn’t been sung for a few thousand years. “Awaken, awaken, Mustakrakish”

    Troll Free Winds Dee!

    1. “There’s no such thing as trolls.”

      “Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?”

      1. “I heaven there are no trolls, that’s why we feed them here ……”

      2. Where’s Billy Goat Gruff when you need ‘im?

    2. It’s Odin’s Day, heathen.

  4. Restaurant signs gone wrong.

    1. It’s missing a Gyro Wrap sign.

    2. The real question is whether John would have sex with any of those signs.

    3. one of my great regrets is never taking a photo of my local Thai, The Thai Tanic (complete with neon sign of a sinking ship), before it closed

      1. That is awesome. I feel the same way about a tanning salon I saw in San Antonio called Tanfastic.

        1. My favorite sign was for a car wash in Crystal, MN (Octopus Car Wash I think). Their slogan was Home of the Hand Job.

          True story.

      2. Just come to DC – we have one of those here.

      3. We also have Thai Phoon.

        My favorites are the Pho restaurants. My local Pho place is called Pho Kim.

        1. We have a restauraunt near our office called “Thai Foon.” Pretty good stuff.

        2. My favorite Thai place was in San Fran. Phuket Thai. I know how it’s actually pronounced, but it was always fun to respond to “what do you want for dinner” with “fuckit, Thai”

          1. Foo-kette

          2. It’s a chain. There’s a Phuket Thai across from the gym where I work out in Honolulu.

        3. Pho King.

          1. There is a Chinese restaurant called Fu King, and a Vietnamese place called My Dung.

            Years ago in Spain I saw one called Tennessee Fried Chicken.

        4. Thai Poon is better

      4. My local Thai place is called Shiva Porn.

    4. What’s wrong with Burritos as Big as your head? IIRC, la Bamba was a decent place to eat.

      1. That’s how Barry Bonds died.

        1. Well, he should have known not to eat something the size of his steroid head post-steroids. It’s on the Evil Overlord list. Never eat anything bigger than your (current) head.

      2. La Bamba’s is only good if you’re drunk. Otherwise, “burritos as big as your head” is a common taqueria slogan.

        1. The La Bamba near me has a second slogan “Open after the bars close”, which is a big deal when you have a 4 AM closing time.

      3. You do not recall correctly.

    5. Surprised they didn’t mention this recent faux pas in Houston: Beer Should Be Like Violence. Domestic.

      1. I had that in my Daily Fails yesterday or Monday.

    6. Chef needed to prepare Lesbian dishes.

      So… lots of fish?

      1. Fish, and bowling.

  5. Yet Another Megalomaniacal Pile of Dog Shit Deprives American of SA Right

    This one is particularly maddening?particularly how officer shitbag pulled his pistol on the guy in front of his kid. I pray this fat fuck gets kicked down an elevator shaft and lands on a burning pike.

    1. Damn it Otis.

      1. Hey, that’s what the people want and deserve. Quit knocking it when you should be laughing at it.

    2. “I’ve tried to tell my son that this isn’t normal; that police officers don’t walk around doing this. He’s developed an unrealistic fear of police officers. We were bowling yesterday and he freaked out when a police officer walked in.”

      Don’t lie to your kid.

      1. It sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I actively teach my sons that the police are not your friends, and they do not see the rights of citizens as their paramount concern.

        It’s a tough lion to toe with a 6 and 2 year old, but I do my best. Kind of like the other day when my son asked what taxes are and I answered “extortion.”

          1. I have become a megafan of this guy, although this vid is not as good as George Ought to Help.

            1. Agreed. I thought the second one was better than this one too.

            2. This one is kind of a response to common statist arguments. Although I wish he had more strongly refuted the social contract.

              Because it is bullshit. Bullshit of the purest form. I have a copy of every contract I’ve ever signed, filed away. Not one of them is this mythical social contract.

          2. 2nd comment on the video when you click through, from the creator:

            “The key lines? of the skeleton character were lifted verbatim from comments in response to George Ought to Help. So no, there are no strawmen here.”

            1. That’s awesome!

        1. Taxes are a vig combined with extortion.

        2. Every so often, I show my daughters the youtube video of the lawyer telling you never, ever to talk to cops. And I emphasize that they should never, ever talk to cops.

          If they are arrested, they can give their name, address, and DOB. Other than that, nothing, no matter what the cop says. If the cop says I said it was OK, he’s lying unless he says a word they’d expect.

          They know never to consent to searches, as well.

          Hopefully, they’ll never be in a position that it will matter.

          1. If the cop says I said it was OK, he’s lying unless he says a word they’d expect.

            So you’ve taught your daughters a safe word? There’s something creepy about that.

            1. Yeah, I taught them that someone other than a relative saying “Your dad got hurt/had car trouble/is ill and you need to come with me” is probably, but possibly not, bullshit. If you think it’s creepy that I gave them a way to distinguish the bullshit from the legit, I guess we’ll just disagree on that one.

              I also taught them that the guy in the car who wants them to help find his puppy is a liar, along with various other things that made it safer for them to go out and have a life without my having to hover.

            2. I thought all parents were supposed to have safe words with their kids?

              1. Yeah well we called them passwords. I didn’t ever remember mine.

      2. He’s developed an unrealistic fear of police officers.

        Doesn’t sound unrealistic to me.

    3. I don’t know whether I’d like a Sturmabteilung right.

    4. …we sit down and talk to our kids about the Constitution and guns and safety. My son can use every single weapon I have in the house from the AK-47 to .38 special.

      Truly this man is a monster. Someonw notify CPS at once. /sarc

  6. No way will I ever go on a cruise. I don’t care if it’s for free. No way.

    1. I’m with you, the only cruise I’d ever go on is Tom Cruise.


      1. a 3 hour cruise?

      2. Yeah, but then you have to listen to him proselytize to you afterwards. I can’t see how it’s worth it.

    2. My wife and I went on a Caribbean cruise on Carnival back in 2006 and had an absolute blast.

      1. People who contract norovirus blast all over the place.

      2. Was the blast a jihadi or a domestic non-far-leftwing terrorist?

      3. Actually, on our second cruise to Alaska in 2008, there was a bit of food poisoning going around. You’d hear announcements over the loudspeakers, “If you see anyone vomiting, report it immediately. Enjoy your lunch.”

    3. been on four and all were great.

      1. Being that I don’t like crowds and I’m slightly claustrophobic, the idea of being confined to a floating hotel full of strangers fills me with dread.

        1. My wife and I hate people too. We are NOT joiners. And I can say that avoiding people (in terms of actual interaction with them) can be all but completely avoided. You needn’t talk with anyone other than the crew, and you’d still have a great time.

          1. If I want to go to a big hotel I’ll go to Vegas. At least there I can escape to the desert or some dam or canyon or something.

            1. I’ve done, and enjoyed, both. That being said, I’d never go on a cruise again, but I can’t wait to go to Vegas again.

    4. I think they misapprehend the meaning of the term Quantum. It’s not just some flashy sci fi word and it certainly doesn’t mean FREAKING HUGE. Quite the opposite, in fact.

      Maybe it’s an ironic name, like the 300lb biker named Tiny.

      1. You know, I always think the same thing when I hear people talking about a ‘quantum leap’ in something-or-other.

        1. I don’t know, I mean a cruise ship can certainly be a quantum. I don’t think you could have a piece of one.

          1. I don’t think you could have a piece of one.

            Tell that to the Titanic.

            A ship could technically be a quantum, if you define the unit of measurement in ships. However, quantum always refers to the smallest unit possible. So, referring to the largest ship you’ve ever made as a Quantum is just stupid.

            1. Unless they’re trying to infer that anything smaller/lesser than the Quantum is not a cruise ship.

              A kind of no true Scotsmen nautical take down. Then again, they have smaller ones themselves, so I don’t know.

        2. What if they’re talking about the greatest show ever committed to film, Quantum Leap?

          1. Discussions of the greatest show of all times are fine.

        3. On the scale it is working, the steps between two quanta is a huge leap.

      2. Royal Caribbean goes on weird naming runs for their cruise ship classes. They started out relatively normal with Monarch and Princess classes, but the last few have been Oasis, Freedom (my favorite!) and now Quantum. They don’t mean anything really.

    5. I went on a 12 nighter last year to Norway. I’m going on another 12 nighter to the arctic circle (also in Norway) next year.

      Cruising is good.

      1. The Hurtigrute?

        Isn’t that monstrously expensive?

        1. I go on Celebrity.

          It ain’t cheap, but monumentally expensive is a long ways off. For our next cruise, we’re looking at less than $8500 for 4 people’s passage.

    6. Are those river cruise things any good? That seems ideal to me. You can get the fuck out any time, and there are some cool rivers in places (like an Eastern European one would be really cool)

      1. You can’t “get out” of a river cruise any more than a cruise at sea. With the exception of transatlantic cruises, all of them have ports of call nearly every day.

        1. Yeah, but when the engine breaks down on a river cruise, the swim isn’t nearly as far.

          1. True enough.

            But that just isn’t something I’m worried about as I don’t cruise on Carnival.

    7. I think I would. Cruise ships have had so much bad publicity with bad food that they know they have to be extra careful or they’ll go bankrupt. I imagine that they are taking extreme measures regarding hygiene these days.

  7. Texas Soldier Arrested for ‘Rudely Displaying’ Weapon


    With blood boiling video of jackbooted thug.

    1. “My son and I were on a ten-mile hike so that he could earn his hiking merit badge ? it’s the last badge he needs to become an Eagle Scout.”

      How in the hell do you get your Citizenship Merit Badge before Hiking. Hiking is like the easiest one. Citizenship you had to write a paper. It’s why I retired as a Life Scout or something. Whichever one is below Eagle. Because no way am I writing a freaking paper.

    2. Well, he didn’t fuck with the kid for taping the whole thing. And when it’s all over (since it’s in Texas) the soldier will have his rifle back without charges.

      Hopefully the idiot cop will be punished.

      1. Thanks, I needed a good laugh this morning.

      2. Well, he didn’t fuck with the kid for taping the whole thing.

        Yet. “In this day and age.”

        Let’s see how this thing turns out.

  8. Candice Swanepoel goes for a walk without a bra.

    1. Charles Schumer does that all the time.

    2. Maybe she read the french study.

    3. She’s got a nose like Shock G/Humptey Hump.

  9. …must appear in court later this week for allegedly trespassing on his ex-wife’s property.

    That’s the problem with a libertarian-leaning Republican. He thinks he owns property he bought.

    1. When you’re married, you own your house. Unless your wife decides she doesn’t want you living there anymore. Then you need to move out. But keep paying the mortgage.

  10. Mark Sanford Trespassed At Jenny Sanford’s Home: Lawyer

    Former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford must appear in court two days after running for a vacant congressional seat to answer a complaint that he trespassed at his ex-wife’s home, according to court documents acquired by The Associated Press on Tuesday.

    The complaint says Jenny Sanford confronted Sanford leaving her Sullivans Island home on Feb. 3 by a rear door, using his cell phone for a flashlight. Her attorney filed the complaint the next day and Jenny Sanford confirmed Tuesday the documents are authentic.

    1. whoops – thought this wasn’t in the links… too much fast reading on my part.

    2. I remember when that weird freak was a favorite of John’s here.

  11. Rachel Bilson. Yum.

    1. Let’s be honest, that chick is so small, ANY bikini that fits will be tiny. Or else, she’s dating a European basketball player.

      1. The all-knowing Internet says she is 5’2″.

        1. Yeah she’s fun size all right. I do like.

        2. That’s the perfect size.

          Honestly, anything over 5’3″ is just too damn large.

          1. Good, more sexy 5’7 women for me.

          2. Uh, ok, whatever dude. I’ll take Bridget Moynihan and Gisele Bundchen.

            1. Tom Brady is what, 6’4″? He can get away with that.

              For the moment.

              But the problem with dating a woman who’s 5’8″ or above is that it only works when she’s really, really thin. As soon as she gains even a little weight, POOF! she’s a linebacker. If Gisele ever gains any weight, given her height, Tom is going to wake up in the middle of the night, roll over to spoon her, and say, “Vince! Vince Wilfork! Get the fuck out of my bed, man, I’ve told you before I’m not into that!”

              1. ” “Vince! Vince Wilfork! Get the fuck out of my bed, man, I’ve told you before I’m not into that!“”

                You so sure about that?

          3. Well I’m 6’1, so as long as she’s shorter then me I’m ok with it.

            But I do have a taste for the ones below 5’5.

            1. I like being to scale. I’m 5’2″ and always dated tall guys and only now realize how much I was needlessly hurting my neck.

              1. If you wear crazy stripper heels, that’s not a problem.

                1. I have a 5″ limit, because platform pumps are a crime against nature.

                  True story: my parents differ in height by 16 inches and my mom wore 7″ heels in their wedding. And still looks like a midget in the photos.

              2. how much I was needlessly hurting my neck

                Ummm….yur doin’ it wrong?

                1. I don’t think I’m “looking up” wrong.

            2. 4’10” to 5’4″ is the way to go, imo.

              Being to scale would freak me out.

              1. I should be more clear: by “to scale” I mean he is still 6″ taller. But doesn’t that put you in a situation like my parents? Aren’t you the giant?

                1. “Giant” is very hurtful. You won’t see me at the pancake social. You people who can walk through doorways and under ceiling fans without ducking should check your privilege.

                  I’m 6’9″ and being with a woman within 6″ of me would be quite odd. I’m reasonably certain I’ve never dated someone over 5’7″.

                  Yeah, it’s a situation like your parents. 17″ difference. When it came time to kiss the bride, my sister said, “Wait!” and brought out a stool for the wife.

                  I generally don’t realize how freakish I look until I see myself in photos with average sized people.

                  1. That’s awesome about the wedding. Short people totally do have privilege. We almost never have to duck, can squeeze into smaller spaces, are more comfortable on planes, and get to take better baths. Whereas my dad is way shorter than you and still can hardly fit in most cars.

      2. Hayden Christensen

        No she’s dating the whiny boy that helped ruin* the Star Wars franchise.

        *Sure Lucas did most of the damage, but Christensen did his part too.

    2. The O.C. actress shared that she tries her best to be the best girlfriend possible

      No comment necessary.

      1. Waiting for the feminists to castigate her for that

  12. End of the Samurai: Stunning portraits of Japan’s warrior class captures men at the height of their power before 19th century demise

    Pictures include warriors committing harakiri. Pretty gruesome.

    1. Very cool.

      I was disappointed because you said gruesome. And it wasn’t.

      1. There’s a difference between seeing pictures of people with swords sticking out of the bellies and knowing it is fake, and seeing pictures of people with swords sticking out of their bellies and knowing it is real.

        1. Wierd. I literally can’t concieve of thinking like that.

        2. You’re not talking about swords anymore, are you?

        3. Yes, and this was the former.

    2. That is way cool. You have to love the Daily Fail. Would the Post or the Times ever do something like that? It is bad enough our papers are mindlessly liberal. But why do they have to be mindlessly boring too?

      1. When the news in a totalitarian state is more interesting than the supposedly freest country in the world, you’ve got to stop and wonder.

    3. Weird. Didn’t photographs back then require a very long exposure time? So the guy is supposed to hold his pose after he’s stuck himself?

      The reason I’m skeptical is that the second doesn’t look ready to swing his katana and AIUI, in Hari-Kiri (or Seppuku) the second is supposed to swing pretty much as soon as the participant thrusts. To avoid the disgrace of showing pain from cutting yourself open, I guess.

      I’ve read of IJA officers critiquing others’ performances by how long they lasted before motioning the second to decapitate them, and conversely, ripping guys for being weak for having the second start swinging before he even thrust the blade in.

      Hard life, being a Japanese Army officer.

      1. Yeah the old school was to make the full belly cut, without a sound and with a stone face. Then they got soft with it, sometimes the second would even swing as the guy stabbed himself.

        The other key thing is the second needs to swing with the proper amount of force. The head should roll free onto the lap, not hang on by a flap of skin or go flying and rolling across the floor.

        1. and also to put on makeup and fast beforehand so half-digested food didn’t spell out. So, like a suicidal runway model

          1. Yukio Mishima will teach you how to do it right. I mean, aside from that time when he actually demonstrated it.

            1. Thanks for the link, Nicole. I thought his name sounded familiar, but couldn’t remember why. The wiki for how he died is darkly hilarious. I guess it’s harder to cut a head off than it looks.

              What a very talented man. And obviously very disturbed.

              1. You’re welcome. Mishima’s style is not for everyone, but if you like it, shit he is a hell of a writer. And “Patriotism” is great.

            2. the makeup and food points were learnt from an old interview with the erstwhile Hiraoka Kimitake!

  13. Mark Sanford, who resigned the governorship of South Carolina over an extramarital affair with an Argentine journalist and is now running against Stephen Colbert’s sister for the congressional seat vacated by Tim Scott

    I love it when journalists take stories from The Onion seriously.

    1. I live in SC an nobody around here even knows who Colbert’s sister is. She won her primary because her brother is semi famous. Then again, Charleston is full progtards.

  14. http://pjmedia.com/blog/sen-fe…..me-amount/

    Feinstein whines about NRA money, despite the fact that Bloomberg easily matches their funding with his massive cash reserves.

    1. Feinstein whines about NRA money, despite the fact that Bloomberg easily matches their funding with his massive cash reserves.

      But . . . but . . . OUTSIDE MONEYZ!!11one!!!

    2. Its her own fault no bill will pass. She tried to lard up legislation with that AWB.

      1. Somebody circle this date on the calendar.

        1. It seems to produce a reasonable comment every few moths or so.

          1. every few moths or so.
            Yeah. Must be at least a couple flying around between his ears.

      2. Who’s going to pick up the pieces when the AWB doesn’t pass?

    3. And this is why I come off as a jerk in political discussions: Because I will argue that random group/billionaire X has the right to spend as much money on any issue as they want.

      That seems not to square with most people, because people assign mystical mind changing properties to money.

      1. And this is why I come off as a jerk in political discussions:

        Don’t you always come off as a jerk? :-p

      2. If that makes you a jerk then I’m some sort of mega-jerk… I’d need Epi around to provide a ruling.

        But I take it one step further and ask what’s preventing the people complaining about billionaire A’s spending from either campaigning for billionaire B to spend on the opposite, or pooling their own money and forming a PAC to advertise. They don’t like being confronted with facts and other such nonsense.

      3. That’s not the only reason.

      4. Without disagreeing with your first point about the right to spend your money, I do believe that money can change people’s minds. It’s nothing mystical. I do all sorts of things for money that I would rather not.

        1. Yeah my vote is definitely for sale. I would vote the way someone paid for me for oh….10,000 or so.

    4. I read somewhere that the NRA ranked 334th in terms of total money spent by a lobbying organization. Which is why I hind it hilarious when the progtards claim that the NRA is some massively influential group that’s hijacked democracy or something stupid like that.

  15. Two rockets were lobbed into southern Israel, apparently from the Egypt-controlled Sinai.

    Lobbed as a verb has such a benign feel to it. Unless you’re talking about rockets or jarts, I suppose.

    1. “Lobbed” indicates a sport and let’s face it, lobbing rockets is the Palestinian national game.

    2. Lobbed as a verb has such a benign feel to it


      1. I thought you were supposed to chuck grenades.

        1. No, you launch them.

          1. That’s what Israel does. Things that go INTO Israel are lobbed, lofted or gifted.

          2. Not everyone has an underslung launcher for their AR-15, nor the correct barrel attachment for their Garand.

            1. What does the REASON style book say about describing grenades? Anyone?

              1. The Reason Style Book says “throw” is preferred when referring to grenades. The rule is hard to find because it’s in the chapter on the Second Amendment. ;-P

            2. Not everyone has an underslung launcher for their AR-15, nor the correct barrel attachment for their Garand.

              Thank Jeebus for the AWB!

  16. Man Called 911 to Complain about Mom

    You know who else complained about their mom?

    1. Howard Wolowitz from the Big Bang Theory?

      1. Francis from Malcolm in the Middle?

      1. No. Epi complains about your mother.

    2. Portnoy?

    3. Lizzie Borden?

    4. Ignatius Jacques Reilly?

    5. Melissa Harris-Perry?

      1. That’s the best “You know who else…” thread in quite some time. Congrats, all of you.

  17. damn squirrels

    Squirrel knocks out power to 3 Tampa schools on first day of FCAT

    1. Yeah. “Squirrels”.

    2. Actually those same squirrels knocked out the water treatment plant last month.

    3. Just another case of lethal fauna running amok in Florida. Squirrels, with their cunning and their creepsy little handses. . . .

      1. Looks like they will have to be put on the menu at Mounty Python’s.

        1. I dunno, we’re pretty strictly nonmammalian. Maybe we could employ them?

    4. What do you mean, “*They* cut the power”? How could they cut the power, man? They’re animals!

  18. Anyone watch Margaret Thatcher’s funeral? I rather enjoyed watching the bearded communist bishop trying to keep it civil.

    1. bearded communist bishop

      Is that what kids are calling it these days?

      1. It was split faced hair shark back in my day.

  19. Eyewitness: Authorities “Must Have Known” About Bombing


  20. The government of Cyprus will be selling a portion of its gold reserves to raise money to secure an EU/IMF bailout.

    Can’t wait until the US Treasury has to follow suit.

    1. Are you of the opinion the U.S Treasury actually has any gold?

      1. I thought McClane stopped Gruber?

      2. Sure. I saw it in Die Hard 3. Or is that the Fed?

    2. Shouldn’t they have done this before they stole from their banking systems depositors and completely fucked themselves?

      1. My thought, exactly. “We’ll have to steal money from bank depositors and destroy confidence in our entire economy!”

        “Don’t we have tons of gold?”

        “Yeah, what about it?”

  21. The man Darth Vader choked using The Force in Star Wars has died.

    1. yes, but that was a long long time ago and in a galaxy far away, so it’s scarcely Morning Links material. Brickbats, yes

    2. I knew that incident caused irreparable damage.

    3. What a sad fucking obituary. Still, he’s more famous than I’ll ever be.

      1. But possibly not as infamous, if you play your cards right.

        1. Will that make the Tim the most famous poster to every come out of reason?

      2. Sounds like he had a good life to me.

        But you have a point. I’ve never understood the point of making fun of an actor who never made it off the ‘B’ list. No matter what, that person experienced fame and – at least in this guy’s case – will be remembered by many, many people for years to come. That’s more than can be said for most of the rest of us.

        1. ‘How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus. ‘

          1. ‘How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.’

            You’re not, and that’s the point.

    4. After being choked, if they put him on the millenium falcon and flew him through hyperspace, couldn’t they dump him at a point in time before he died, where he could live his days over and over and over on some Empire-sanctioned retirement planet?

      1. One of the commentors on the article:

        “I found his lack of faith disturbing.”

      2. No. In the Star Wars universe they just ignore the time effects of FTL travel.

        1. What time effects? Observable time dilation comes from someone traveling close to the speed of light relative to an observer not doing so. They went through hyperspace, skirting the whole business, right?

          Do we have a hyperspacial physics expert to explain?

          1. That’s what I thought. You jump up into hyperspace then back down to your destination, like bouncing a signal off a satellite.

          2. The thought is that FTL travel always implies time travel due to special relativity, per the wiki. Plus there are causality issues. No, I don’t understand it either, and usually check out of the conversation when they start mentioning ‘intersecting light cones’ and the like.

            1. I think that’s sheer speculation, since we have no fucking idea. Not like we’ve had the opportunity to test FTL effects.

          3. Well, that’s sort of what I mean. Even with hyperspace and assuming that you can always pop out of it at the “right” time, there is no absolute synchronicity between far flung locations. So from someone’s perspective, there has to be time travel when you have very rapid space travel.

            This is not addressed very well in much Science Fiction.

    5. Paolo Soleri died. Not a libertarian in his designs, but he did some nice work.

      I worked at Arcosanti one summer in the ’70s, and much of my distrust of the major media came from a 60 Minutes piece on the place a few years later. It was an astonishingly heavy-handed hatchet job. E.g. they had to cart their camera quite some distance across a rattlesnake-infested area and climb a cliff in order to get a shot that made the site look as small as possible. They showed pictures of typical construction site waste and claimed that it contradicted the stated ecological goals, even though we did things like pull nails out of scrap lumber to reuse. Etc.

      1. Come on, blocked from the tube, what is it?!?!

        1. Canucks doing an excellent job ripping off mid-2000s Mastodon. Very good stuff.

          1. This is exactly what it is.

            And it is very good.

    1. Very nice.

  22. Most. Transparent. Administration. Ever.

    https://www.techdirt.com/ articles/20130416/08344222725/congress-quickly- quietly-rolls-back-insider- trading-rules-itself.shtml

    1. BTW – eliminate the spaces; they are there due to 50-character limit on words.

      1. Because I’m a nice guy, let me help you.

        1. Because I’m a nice guy

          IT’S A TRAP!

    2. The STOCK Act is a meaningless joke of a bill. And Congress rubber-stamped the reporting delay in that bill.

    3. Obama could boost his approval by publicly denouncing and vetoing this, given Congress’s abysmal approval ratings. All he’d have to do is demonstrate a committment to reining in the culture of cronyism that is– *snort*–that is destroy–*snort*–ing the noble culture-*snort*-once represented by our faithful and selfless public serv-*hahahahahahahahaha**snort*


      1. No way – as many of these individuals in congress and the senate who wanted this will still be around if/when any votes come up to investigate this administration (or early release any docs they wish).

        IE – he won’t because he needs their protection.

  23. FYI Mark Sanford didn’t resign his governorship; he served out his term.

  24. served out his term
    Is that what the kids are calling it?

    1. You had me at one-armed lesbian.

        1. One of the finest English-language novels of the second half of the 20th century.

    2. Hollis lost an arm in a 1996 work accident and witness statements depict Biskup having a difficult time handcuffing this suspect as she reportedly resisted with violence.

      Probably the fact that she only had one arm made it difficult to handcuff her in the “traditional” way as well.

    3. How do you handcuff someone with one arm? I mean, If I had one arm you could run the other cuff through my belt. But what if the suspect isn’t wearing a belt?

      1. A lesbian without a belt? That’s like a lesbian without a flannel shirt.

      2. Are you insinuating that the lesbian in question wasn’t wearing comfortable pants?

        And when you answer, remember that this is a Key West lesbian.

      3. How do you handcuff someone with one arm?

        I believe it’s called a Stork. You cuff the wrist to the ankle. At least that’s what they did on Dexter ๐Ÿ˜‰

        1. Flamingo, not stork.

          1. ah yes. and more appropos of Miami certainly.

    4. Hollis lost an arm in a 1996 work accident and witness statements depict Biskup having a difficult time handcuffing this suspect as she reportedly resisted with violence.

      Also, its Key West, so this is like 4/10 on the weird scale.

    5. Lesbian domestic violence isn’t news. Lesbian couples who don’t engage in domestic violence, now that would be news!

      1. All those hormones in one relationship.

      2. Since when a woman hits her partner it’s not domestic violence because she’s “jus’ a gurl”, by definition domestic violence can’t occur in lesbian relationships.

        When one spouse murders another in a lesbian relationship, the cops just show up, scratch their heads, and say, “Must have been an Act of God.”

    6. Female, gay *and* disabled? She won the Trifecta!

  25. Albuquerque police royally fuck up in violation of the 4A. But don’t worry, none of the cops are being disciplined…even the one that was convicted for lying under oath in a recent DUI case.

    1. The sad thing is that the reason this will get any airtime at all is that it effected the QB of the pathetic local college team. Affect? Effect? I always fuck that up.

      But seriously, Albuquerque: Grow up as a city. You’re not Ann Arbor, you’re not Columbus, stop treating UNM like its a freaking high school team. And even if you could become Ann Arbor or Columbus, you shouldn’t, because those places are shit holes.

      1. Oh I know all about the ABQ. Shit’s crazy there. This guy Heisenberg runs the meth business, and he’s one dangerous dude.

        1. We also are constantly dealing with relocated federal witnesses going nuts. Oh, and sometimes aliens show up to do battle with the local ranchers.

          But the meth’s great and the weather’s nice, and really, what more do you need in life?

          1. Good luck finding a lawyer willing to sue the ABQ city government or police, if Mary Han‘s story is any judge. Isn’t NM supposed to be astoundingly corrupt for the number of people it has?

            Too bad, as the scenery is quite pretty and I love the food.

            1. Its like Illinois, if Illinois lacked the national clout to make every story of its corruption a national news story.

              Of recent governors, I think only Gary Johnson left without a cloud of scandal/charges.

            2. Isn’t NM supposed to be astoundingly corrupt for the number of people it has?

              Yeah, but that goes back centuries. Spanish governors instilled a tradiation of patronage, and the whole Lincoln County war basically started over quarrels between trade monopoly factions. The state is one of the biggest sinks for federal dollars, and 70 percent of the births in NM are paid for by Medicaid.

              Like I’ve said before, without the government, NM would instantly go back to what it was for hundreds of years before the 20th century, which is a bigass glorified sheep ranch.

        2. I guess there would be a lot of uncertainty in the meth business.

          1. + 1/2 h-bar.

      2. Affect. Effect as a verb mean to bring about or cause to happen.

      3. Affect? Effect? I always fuck that up.

        Affect is the verb… “affected the QB of…”

        Effect is the noun… “the only effect is on the QB of…”

        hth ๐Ÿ™‚

      4. Columbus is not a shithole. There are places in Columbus that are, particularly east side but overall it’s a pretty nice place if you can deal with the weather.

        1. I’ll agree to this. Not a shithole. But dull and with surprisingly little sun.

          I liked the northwest part of the area okay–Dublin, Worthington.

          1. I’m in Hilliard which borders Dublin to the south. There’s tons of places to eat and drink. All within 20 minutes of each other. 30 at extreme opposites of the city. There’s actually a lot going on here.

    2. Isn’t that the same place where hookers work for McNuggets?

      1. Green chile cheeseburgers.

        1. To be fair – those are some awesome cheeseburgers.

    3. APD has been absolutely ridiculous the past few years. If there’s any instance of officer abuse that you could think of, they’ve probably committed it recently.

  26. Of small penises and large vaginas, the hypocrisy is once again on display at Jezebel.

    1. Ted Danson supposedly described sex with Whoopie Goldberg as “Swinging a bat in a cave.”

      1. IJTUALIMM

      2. I always heard it was “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway.”

      3. Why would a famous actor, who presumably has the pick of many star-struck young ladies, fuck Whoopie Goldberg???

        1. Why would a famous actor, who presumably has the pick of many star-struck young ladies, ANYONE fuck Whoopie Goldberg???


          1. I met her once. Not my type, but smart and funny and not bad looking as black women go.

            I also met her mother, who was wearing a silver ring made to look like a circle of people engaging in group sex.

    2. Making fun of a man’s penis is fighting the patriarchy!!

    3. sylphidesUBobLobLaw20131L
      I’ve had a mountain of dicks in my life, like closer to 50 partners, and 5.5″ seems average. 7 is not a RARITY, but it’s definitely not common. Yesterday 9:46pm

      “Mountain of Dicks.” Thanks for naming my new band, you dirty whooore.

      1. As if it wasn’t already named that.

      2. it would be a great name for one’s country retreat too

        1. Or a nice over-55 gated community:
          “Hidden Valley at Mountain of Dicks”

          1. Or a nice over-55 gated community:
            “Hidden Valley at Mountain of Dicks”

            Wouldn’t “Dry Valley at Mountain of Dicks” be more apt?

              1. The corner of Tumbleweed Boulevard and Sandy Spring Road is where it’s happening.

        2. Well, only if you’re named Richard.

      3. Translated into a foreign language, that is an excellent name for a political prison.

        1. Is that what “Abu Ghraib” means in Pashtun?

          1. Arabic.

            Reminds me of a joke about the Egyptian that moved to Iraq, and he wants to be a friendly neighbor. He sees two women parting company, and one woman mutters “so long, umm luuima” Now that happens to mean “Mother of Dicks” in the local slang, but the Egyptian thinks that luuima is the child of the woman, so he seizes on it and greets the neighbor next time he sees her “Good Morning, Umm Luuima”. She screams and throws her market basket at him and goes to get her husband. The Egyptian is confused. The neighbor man comes storming out and the Egyptian says to him “what is wrong, Abu Luuima?” (Father of Dicks). The man flattens him with a punch and stalks off. As the Egyptian tries to get up, the son pelts him with rocks from the roof of the house. “Not you too, Luuima!” (Dicks) the Eygptian exclaims.

      4. and 5.5″ seems average. 7 is not a RARITY, but it’s definitely not common

        Great, now I’m going to have to measure my dick when I get home.

        1. You’ll just lie about it, anyway.

          That’s why my stock answer when asked is “long enough”.

        2. Just remember, $park?, that’s the *flaccid* length.

          1. Hmm, I can probably stretch it that far.

      5. Whoo!!! Above average! Well, the average sample obtained by some weirdo who posts on Jezebel, anyway.

      6. Depends how old this chick is as to whether 50 partners is a shit ton. If she’s still in her 20s or early 30s, then that is definitely a lot, girl or guy I would say. But if she’s in her 40s or 50s or older, that’s not that crazy, other than the fact that a 40 or 50 year old is saying “mountain of dicks”.

        1. Yeah. But even then, if she is 45 and has been with 50 guys, that means she never married, which probably means she is crazy.

        2. “barrelful of pickles.”

        3. Yeah, 50 partners is crazy even for a 50 year old.

          You’d be talking averaging more than one new partner a year for every year of her post-puberty life.

          Especially considering that the average number of lifetime partners (reported) is around 6.

      7. So the female version is Space Mountain?

    4. Remember, if a man can’t satisfy a woman because of his penis size, that’s worthy of ridicule, if you insinuate that not all vaginas are the same size, that’s ugly misogyny.

    5. Can I say how funny it is to Jez’s resident house male, Ari Schwartz, get his ass handed to him by an actual male in the comments?

      Because it’s pretty funny.

      1. Can I say how funny it is to Jez’s resident house male, Ari Schwartz, get his ass handed to him by an actual male in the comments?

        Give poor Ari a break–he’s probably already been emasculated by his mother most of his life for chasing shiksas, and having to interact with someone possessing legitimate testosterone would be a truly traumatic experience.

  27. Mid-April Linked With National Tragedy

    Obviously the solution is a Total National Curfew April 7-21.

  28. Hey, can the FBI find someone already so we in the media can use Boston to demonize some group? Any group? Come on guys.


    1. “I shouted out,
      Who killed the little boy?
      When after all
      It was you and me”

      1. The so want it to be an angry white guy. The suspense is killing them.

        1. Yesterday morning, NPR was saying that signs pointed to a domestic terrorist (which of course could only be a conservative). Today, they glumly allowed that the pressure-cooker technique is connected with Arab extremists … but, they added cheerfully, ANYONE could have found out about it on the Internets!

          1. If it turns out to be leftwing domestic terrorists, they will just stop talking about the story. It will become a local crime story.

        2. Maybe it was Ryan Lanza, angry at the demonization of his brother and mother. Makes about as much sense as anything else these flapping mouths are spewing.

          1. Or some OWS splinter group. OWS was huge in Boston.

            1. For the same reason why if it was an anti government type, you would expect the attack to be on a Fed building, if it was an OWS person, why wouldn’t they be attacking a bank or something?

              Neither one seems to make marathon the target. I’m guessing lone wacko at this point cause no group has claimed responsibility a la middle east bombings.

              1. Noooo!!!! Lonewacko did it? Say it ain’t so.

                All of you who helped write Lonewacko: The Novel will be receiving subpoenas.

                1. Like Lonewacko would be smart enough to build a bomb that worked. It would have to be a Lonewacko Dondero douche bag cell for the bombs to actually work.

              2. It seems odd. But you never know. I think it is unlikely it is OWS or tax protestors. But it is not impossible. Eric Rudolph was an atheist anti abortion guy and he blew up the Olympics. There is no accounting for insanity.

            2. And marathoners are most certainly elitist 1%ers.

              1. Cyclists Restoras. Cyclists and distance runners hate each other like snakes and mongooses.

                1. With good reason. Those fuckers move slowly, block the path, and their flailing arms unpredictably shoot away from their bodies, especially when they are staggering unpredictably.

                  Of the top four most injurious accidents I’ve had on my bike, three have been caused by runners, two of them when the runner lurched into the path of my bike.

                  I don’t call for the extermination of all runners. That would be inhumane. However, people who suffer from this bizarre compulsion to jog do pose a danger to society, and should be given a choice of giving up their anti-social behaviors or, if they choose to continue performing it, there should be camps where they can concentrate on performing their exercises without posing a danger to the rest of society.

                  1. As an automobile driver, I feel exactly the same way about Cyclists tarran.

        3. Would it still be OK if it were an FBI sting gone bad? I mean, given the angry white guy?

          1. Sure because the FBI would never let it out that it was a sting gone bad. And even if they did, the media would never report it and let it ruin the narrative.

            1. I’m leaning towards a Malvo scenario.

              There’s actually somebody out there dumb enough to think that if he plants a couple of bombs he can call Menino and demand money.

              This is Boston we’re talking about, after all. I bet half the population of Southie (native population that is) is that dumb.

              1. I could see that. I think it is more than one person. But I could totally seeing it being one guy like Malvo and a flunky.

                Of course Malvo was a converted Muslim who wanted to kill infidel white people. Funny how they media wasn’t interested in that fact after he was arrested.

                And we are talking about Mumbles Menino here. So it is not too crazy to think he would be dumb enough to pay extortion money.

                1. Fluffy’s idea is interesting, but I don’t think an extortionist would start out with something so large. My guess is that it’s a local/group of locals.

                  Or a really well-read foreigner. I mean, did you know that the Boston Marathon was the second most attended sporting event in the US? Me neither. Yet the crank wasn’t so well read as to know how to make a really effective bomb.

                  So, either a local crank or pair of them. Maybe even one of the wounded, if he fucked up the timer on one of the bombs. Or the group of firebrands at an area Masjid put down their fenjans and pistachios and decided to go blow something up. Which they may or may not have been induced to do by the helpful local outsider who just showed up to the school with a bunch of jihad manuals and cash.

                  1. I agree Ghost. It has to be a local. If you have never lived in Boston you are unlikely to have any idea how big of a deal Patriots’ Day and the marathon are. If it was just some random foreign terrorist cell looking to blow up an American public event, they would have bombed a baseball game or something more nationally known. The marathon is just too specific to Boston.

                    1. Maybe it’s an obese person who think marathons, among other things, are pushing an unrealistic view of human appearance…

                      I mean if the media can speculate…

        4. Actually, I’m getting a feeling that they kind of know it isn’t and are super pre-disappointed.

          1. They certainly suspect that it was some rogue AQ cell. You can almost feel the sadness and disappointment.

        5. Ideally it would be a communist, Native American lesbian acting alone. Then everyone will shut the fuck up.

          1. A *one-armed* communist, Native American lesbian acting alone.

            1. THE FUGITIVE!

            2. A one-armed communist Native Amercan lesbian left-handed midget albino acting alone.

              1. They have a student union for girls like that.

        6. They so want it to be an angry white guy. The suspense is killing them.

          Check out the headline from Salon…

          “Let’s hope the Boston Marathon bomber is a white American”


          It goes on to talk about “white privilege”…LOL!

          1. White people are so privileged that when a bombing happens, it’s automatically assumed that it was one of us. And in the absence of a white suspect, it’s hoped that it was one of us.

            Fuck these people.

    2. If it ends up being someone they don’t want it to be, then the narrative changes to “You can’t judge an entire group based on one crazed individual”.

      Oh, you mean like you’ve done with EVERY SHOOTER IN THE LAST 50 YEARS???

      1. Only white male shooters.

    3. They are taking their time…to be sure that Richard Jewell doesn’t get away with it this time.

      1. Every time I see a comment with his name in it I keep thinking Harrison Ford in The Fugitive for some reason.

      2. It still pisses me off that he doesnt have a statue in centennial park.

        Fuck you Atlanta.

    4. I’m hoping it’s a tax protester, so we can finally start the long-overdue, rational, serious national conversation about tax control.

      1. You mean continue the conversation.

  29. http://marathonpundit.blogspot…..-bill.html

    Boston bombs similar to what Obama mentor Bill Ayers wanted to plant at a dance on Fort Dix.

    1. How has that Bill Ayers smear worked out for you wingnuts so far?

      1. It is not a smear if it is true. He is Obama’s political mentor. Obama started his career on Ayers advice. They both served on the Annenberg challenge board and were close friends up until Obama went into the Senate and became a national politician.

        It is what it is. Those are the circles Obama ran in and will return to once he leaves office. Come on Shreek, just be honest and admit you want to kill your political opponents and admire Ayers.

        1. I’d be happy if the left just admitted that they have far more connections with extremism and political violence than the right, despite their constant claims and insinuations to the contrary.

    2. Tangential to that, since it appears from media reports now that the bombs’ explosives was ordinary smokeless powder, how much more of a PITA will it be to get reloading components? Are we going to start treating IMR 4895 like Sudafed?

      I wouldn’t have thought a pressure cooker could drive the pressure high enough to cause harm from burning smokeless powder, even if you sealed the relief valve. Learn something new everyday.

      1. That scares me too. They are going to be able to tie this their favorite boogie man gunz!! no matter who it is.

  30. How to pick up chicks, Denver cop-style: Wait till somebody beats the shit out of them and then use your influence and position of power over the perpetrator and victim’s lives to get into their panties.

    It’s genius really, especially if your interactions with the general pubic use intimidation.

    1. It’s genius really, especially if your interactions with the general pubic use intimidation.

      I see what you did there.

      1. Guess I should have checked the time stamp and refreshed. As usual, I was fashionably late.

    2. It’s genius really, especially if your interactions with the general pubic use intimidation.

      I see what you did there.

  31. http://washingtonexaminer.com/…..le/2527339

    Roofers’ Union calls for the repeal of Obamacare. They probably don’t like working 29 hours a week anymore than anyone else.

    1. Wrong John, they’re working 58 hours a week for two different companies and that’s the bitch.

      1. Ah. yeah, that probably is.

        1. That’s what I’m doing. 29 at one job, another 27 or so at the other.

          1. Welcome to Obama’s America brought to you by the low information voter.

            1. Yeah, and I’m 24 so a lot of people I know are in the same boat. But they don’t see any connection between their Obama support and the job market.

              1. It just infuriates me to see what is happening in this country. Good people who want to work and earn a living are being to reduced to poverty by this asshole.

                1. It’s not poverty. That’s the insidious thing. It’s not the desperate grinding misery that breeds revolutions. It’s creeping mediocrity. It’s the dulling of the shining city, the shrinking of the American dream. Limits to growth, managing growth, smart growth…that’s what they want. Wild, rampaging prosperity and explosive growths of wealth, sudden advances, these are annoyingly difficult to manage and control.

                  1. Here is one of the many ironies of the whole thing. Liberals always claim to be so worried about how employers exploit workers. Well, in a really tight job market, employees are fucked. You have no leverage when you are just thankful to have a job. That means your employer can treat you like total shit and there is nothing you can do about it. And they will do it to, especially in a tight job markets. In a lose job market, asshole employers tend to go out of business because they can’t keep good people. In a tight job market they thrive because the good people often have no where else to go.

                    1. Excellent point John. It’s sort of the reason I have stuck around at my job for two years now.

            2. Can’t we just pass a law prohibiting part time employees? That’ll fix it.

              1. They basically have – way back when, MicroSoft had 30K or so “temp” employees, many of whom had worked full-time type hours for MS, but since they worked thru a contractor did not enjoy the same benes.

                They were sued and lost.

                Most other large companies who use contractors now have specific rules like – you can be a contractor for 3 years, but then must be made perm or must leave for at least 6 months to continue employment as “new” contractor.

    2. This would matter if blue collar workers still made up the bulk of unionized employees, but they don’t. Its mostly government now, and they don’t have to worry about their hours being cut ever.

      It’s like the Keystone Pipeline, another “fuck you” to blue collar unions, but one that Obama correctly predicted won’t hurt him among them.

      1. But SEQUESTER! Those poor suffering government employees.

      2. The Blue Collar unions didn’t vote. If Romney had actively courted them instead of telling Blue Collar whites to go fuck themselves he would have been elected.

    1. I am not sure how anyone wouldn’t be a step up from Nanny Bloomburg.

      1. If I had to choose between Nanny Bloomburg and Rahm Emanuel for mayor I would move.

        1. I would take Emanuel. Emanuel is just an old fashioned crook. Bad, but nothing we haven’t seen before. Bloomberg is a real sicko. The guy is mentally unbalanced.

          1. Plus Rahm is actually here to cut things, and he will, because his shtick is just pissing people off. That is to say, he’s not just trying to piss off the other side, he’s out to piss everyone off.

            1. I have never liked Emmanuel. But it doesn’t give me the creeps the way Bloomberg does. Emmanuel seems like he has some idea what he is doing even if what that is is a bad idea. Bloomberg is just a nut.

              1. “Like” is not the word for it. “Appreciate the pure assholeishness of” is more accurate. I mean an equal opportunity fuckface is almost the best you can hope for in a pol.

                1. And it seems that in Chicago, you are bound to get one type of fuckface or another.

            2. Did you see that Rahm and the Cubs agreed to a $500 million renovation of Wrigley using (supposedly) no taxpayer funding? I really don’t like the idea of Wrigley getting a stupid jumbotron, but the fact that all of the makeover will be paid privately is nice.

              1. The jumbo tron is there to block the leaches in Wrigleyville who charge for seating on their roofs. The Cubs really do get fucked by Wrigleyville. They can’t play games at the best times. They can’t stop people on roofs next door from stealing their product. They loose tens of millions of dollars a year in revenue because of the leaches in Wrigleyville. I am glad to see them finally get a fair shake with more night games and being able to enclose the outfield a bit.

                1. John, you’re actually wrong about that. The rooftop owners have a contract with the Cubs through 2024 that gives a share of their earnings to the team. And they are part of who is paying for the Jumbotron.

                  1. I stand corrected Nickki. For a long time the building owners didn’t pay anything. That must be new.

                    1. John| 4.17.13 @ 10:37AM |#

                      I stand corrected Nickki.

                      It always cracks me up that John misspells people’s names when he is RESPONDING directly to them. ๐Ÿ˜€

              2. I did. Seems decent to me, though I do what I can to stay out of Wrigleyville during baseball season.

      2. Weiner should remain firm.

        1. And stand tall.

          1. Hard man to bring down

        2. Yes but if he starts out in the hole then he has a chance to pull out and come from behind to win

      3. Because at least Bloomburg has kept the city council in check, or more in check than any Democrat would – which is precisely why there hasn’t been a Democratic mayor in 20 years. It seems that will fall apart this time around, and when what’s her name wins – you will really see the crazy when she lets the council run rampant.

        PS. I saw a little of Weiner’s weaselly little apology video, eyes down and barely able to look the camera in the eye. God it was repulsive.

    2. I saw that too. Great headline. Hehehe. Head. Wiener. Pole, er poll. Rising. Hehehe.

    3. You love Drudge. So why then exactly are we looking at a NY Post article?

      1. Because Drudge doesn’t write anything, he only posts cleverly worded links to real content.

        1. I know. So wouldn’t it have made sense to link to him doing that?

          1. That would have meant linking to a page of links and hoping that someone read that particular link and that the page didn’t refresh only to see that link changed or removed… but i guess i see your point.

  32. An envelope addressed to Senator Roger Wicker tested positive for ricin at a congressional mail facility.

    Former high school chem teacher suspected.

    1. Isn’t poisoned mailing the lamest act of terrorism imaginable?

      1. Well, after global warming.

    2. Hey, no spoilers. I just started watching that show the other night.

      1. Marathon it. Seriously. This weekend, just stay inside and watch it all.

    3. The education industry is also where most of our domestic bombers come from. The rest become teachers later.

    4. Jeff Flake now, too.

      Apparently we have another violent, radical Democrat on a rampage, just like all the other mass murderers.


  33. Louisiana Sheriff crosses state lines, conducts an illegal search, kidnaps woman and takes her back across state lines all while carrying a firearm. He is found guilty but his 3 year prison sentence is suspended.

    It’s good to be the King.

    1. Fowler pleaded guilty to the charge in state district court in Beauregard Parish

      Isn’t kidnapping a federal crime, especially considering that he crossed state lines with her? Surely we can expect him to be placed in double jeopardy like common folk, right? Right?

      1. That is what Federal “Civil Rights” charges are for, they bypass that double jeopardy thing.

    1. He really chose a poor way to say that “if this ends up being a Muslim, it may end up causing a lot more death and destruction because Obama’s reaction will likely be as bad as Bush’s was.” A very poor way.

    2. The need to make this a long running story. And to do that they have to be able to make the story not just about the bombing but a larger problem. If the bomber is Muslim, then the problem is Muslim terrorism. And they don’t want to talk about that because Muslims are brown people and we never say bad things about brown people and it interferes with the narrative that the black messiah ended the terrorism threat.

      But if the bomber is a white male, then the media can talk about how racist and horrible white men are and get on with the project of stripping them of their place in society.

      1. A white male Muslim would pose a conundrum, eh?

        1. Go to teen night at your local terrible nightclub and you’ll see that white Muslims have better, creepier things to do.

      2. a long running story
        A marathon even?

      3. Democrats are horrible political strategists. These people dominate the media and academia and can only convert that into a 4 point political advantage?

        What do they think they gain from all this race-baiting they do? More black votes? They already have all of them. All this does is push white Democrats into the arms of the GOP.

    3. Yeah, let’s reserve all the high-profile jobs for white people. Whatever happened to diversity?

  34. An envelope addressed to Senator Roger Wicker tested positive for ricin at a congressional mail facility.

    How many other mail facilities around the nation have testing for ricin and/or other poisons/chemicals?

    It’s good to be the King.

    1. They all would, if it weren’t for [*thunder clap*] the Sequester.

    2. It’s sad that my reaction to the news of someone trying to poison a pol is, “Well, even if they died, it’s not like society would be losing anyone of any real value.”

    3. That’s kind of amazing, when you think about it. There are literally thousands, if not millions of compounds you can use to poison someone, and the general rule in analytical chemistry is that you only find what you are looking for. So the security for Congresscritters has to process every piece of mail—and I imagine it’s like thousands of pieces per day—for tens of thousands of specific compounds—and do it quick enough that the Critter doesn’t wait a week to answer a constituent complaint.

      I wonder how it’s done?

      1. small illegal immigrant children work for a green card by licking every envelope. If a kid feels unwell within 2 hours, it’s a wrong ‘un

  35. So I just got an email from an underling in NYC who tells me she has to go to “an NYPD counterterrorism active shooter training this morning.” I cannot wait to find out what they are teaching people to do.

    1. I’ll give you 3:1 odds that the words “fetal” and “position” are included in the training.

    2. They gave you drones?

      Oh, I am so telling Mother about this. Because this is how you get ants!

    3. Maybe after training you’ll finally upgrade her status to “minion” or even the coveted “helper monkey.”

      1. Oh she is most definitely my minion now. Top Minion in fact.

        1. Nicole’s Next Top Minion, Tuesdays @ 8 on Bravo

          1. “Y’know, I just don’t think that Shaynaynay is here for the right reasons. She doesn’t want to be a minion- she wants to take nicole’s job!”

            1. They’re automatically knocked out if I don’t think I can tell them I want a “Cartier fucking dildo” from whoever owes me.

            2. Some bitch gets her weave torn out in episode… GUARANTEED!

    4. You have underlings?

    5. “Duck…and cover”

    6. Guys, they told her to hide behind filing cabinets. After showing them a video of people shooting through filing cabinets.

      They did say, though, that “maybe we would want to try taking down the shooter, but that was everyone’s personal call.”

      1. Obviously things are different in the big city, but as far as I can recall, almost every filing cabinet in every office in which I worked was against a wall. Not only against a wall, but often fastened to the wall so that they didn’t tip over.

        Plus, only you fucking little people could fit behind or under the furniture, anyway.

        1. You are right on both counts.

    7. Anyone holding a firearm and not in a blue uniform can expect to be shot.

  36. Since we all need a good laugh, this morning:

    I read that NRO thing about the soldier hiking with his kid.

    Let’s play hypothetical. Assume you had an airplane mechanic who was in charge of repair and maintenance of the landing gear. Now, if you had incontrovertible proof that the guy had no fucking clue how to perform the job, or even understand the most basic functions required, you’d fire him, right?

    So you’ve got a cop who has no knowledge whatsoever of the laws he is supposed to be enforcing, or understanding of the limits imposed upon him by the Constitution and the law. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to fire the dumb cocksucker?

    1. Of course not. That guy knows what the law ought to be. He is just saying what all cops want to be true. He was just protecting the shield man.

    2. To fire the guy would be admitting to making a mistake when hiring him. Being in government means never ever admitting to making a mistake. Therefore not only will the guy be kept on the force, but his actions will be defended. Anything else would amount to admitting that a government comprised of humans is fallible.

    3. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to fire the dumb cocksucker?

      Yes, for the sake of the children he might harm through his incompetence.

      We could call it “C.J.’s Law”.

    4. Well, airplane mechanics do an important, useful job. It’s not so crucial that the Walmart greeter or traffic ticket/dog shooter/teenage pothead buster be good at what they do.

  37. A lot of you guys have been emailing me, asking about how I’m doing in both my fantasy hockey leagues in this first week of the playoffs.

    Rather than respond to each of you individually, I’ll just let y’all know right here that–as expected–I’m totally kicking ass in both leagues.

    In one H2H league, where scoring more than 40 fantasy points a week means you’ll win more than 85% of the time, I’ve got 66 points. I’ve never even seen a score that high before! In the other league I’ve got a 46…

    Yeah, like most of you acknowledged in your emails, I should give lessons. …which is kinda what I’m doing to my opponents. And to those of you who didn’t join the league at my invitation this year–becasue you suck–you were right to save your money.

    But just think of what you might have learned!

    1. I want to know who this “a lot of you” includes, so I can properly shun them.

      1. Sorry, sloopy, I’ll respond to yours personally if you like.

      2. Oh, it’s pretty easy to spot the hockey fans.

        1. I don’t generally see drooling through the intertubes until it shorts out the keyboard.

        2. Oh, sure. It’s the fucking mullets, right? Well I’ll have you know I have been working on growing out the front for several years now.

  38. Bloomberg news girl was just interviewing Woolsey(?), formerly of the CIA. Apparently, the Boston Bomber was an Islamoterrorist who learned about building bombs on the internet.


    1. Noooooo!!!!! It can’t be an Islamoterrorist! It has to be a an angry white teabagger! It just has to be!

    2. dance, Woolsey, you sad clown. your investments are in the shitter.

  39. A bunch of users at 4chan and are on the case trying to nab the Boston Bomber(s).

    If a bunch of internet trolls on adderall end up finding this guy, Robert Mueller is going to look very bad.

    1. I, for one, am certainly glad I’m not being exposed to 4chan.

    2. SF’d the link, but I wouldn’t put it past Anonymous. They are Legion.

    3. Actually, I have more faith in 4chan than I have in the police. Those guys are fucking good at internet detective work.

  40. I Am a Lefty and Therefore Incapable of Foreseeing Consequences Until They Affect Me Personally

    I am a feminist. I have marched at the barricades, subscribed to Ms. magazine, and knocked on many a door in support of progressive candidates committed to women’s rights. Until a month ago, I would have expressed unqualified support for Title IX and for the Violence Against Women Act.

    But that was before my son, a senior at a small liberal-arts college in New England, was charged?by an ex-girlfriend?with alleged acts of “nonconsensual sex” that supposedly occurred during the course of their relationship a few years earlier.

    What followed was a nightmare?a fall through Alice’s looking-glass into a world that I could not possibly have believed existed, least of all behind the ivy-covered walls thought to protect an ostensible dedication to enlightenment and intellectual betterment.

    1. Curses! Foiled again!

    2. They were only supposed to frame other women’s sons.

    3. The World…of Revealed Preferences!

    4. This exact sort of thing happened to a woman I used to work with. She was one of those feminist nut jobs. Short hair and dike looking, always running off at the mouth about how it’s a womans world, women are oppressed, blahblah.

      Until the day that her son found himself in family court and was getting royally screwed over by his wife in a divorce.

      She did a complete 180.

    5. I am a feminist. I have marched at the barricades, subscribed to Ms. magazine, and knocked on many a door in support of progressive candidates committed to women’s rights. Until a month ago, I would have expressed unqualified support for Title IX and for the Violence Against Women Act.

      Watch me not care.

    6. The hearing itself was a two-hour ordeal of unabated grilling by the school’s committee, during which, my son later reported, he was expressly denied his request to be represented by counsel or even to have an attorney outside the door of the room. The questioning, he said, ran far afield even from the vaguely stated allegations contained in the so-called notice. Questions from the distant past, even about unrelated matters, were flung at him with no opportunity for him to give thoughtful answers.

      Then walk the fuck out and attend some other school.

    7. “What followed was a nightmare?a fall through Alice’s looking-glass into a world that I could not possibly have believed existed…”

      There’s a reason married women vote Republican, while the women that vote Democrat are the bat-shit crazy, lonely, hooked on prozac, perpetually single emotional wrecks that no man would ever want to be around for more than 10 minutes, much less marry or have children with. Married women actually get to know a real, genuine male, and realize all that progtard feminazi BS about rape culture and subconscious sexism is just that.

  41. Feminist discovers that results don’t necessarily match up to intentions after her special snowflake is accused of rape.

    I am a feminist. I have marched at the barricades, subscribed to Ms. magazine, and knocked on many a door in support of progressive candidates committed to women’s rights. Until a month ago, I would have expressed unqualified support for Title IX and for the Violence Against Women Act.

    But that was before my son, a senior at a small liberal-arts college in New England, was charged?by an ex-girlfriend?with alleged acts of “nonconsensual sex” that supposedly occurred during the course of their relationship a few years earlier.

    What followed was a nightmare?a fall through Alice’s looking-glass into a world that I could not possibly have believed existed, least of all behind the ivy-covered walls thought to protect an ostensible dedication to enlightenment and intellectual betterment.

    1. And cue the articles from other feminists talking about how she has betrayed the sisterhood by putting her enpenised, privileged son’s needs ahead of the needs of a woman who he clearly raped.

  42. Oh, shit. Sometimes the universe proves that it really does love you.

    She’s charming! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Who is the lady on her right (reader’s left)? I don’t know how to say this without bodysnarking, but it looks like a larger size head has been photoshopped on to her body. I want to go looking for other photos to compare. Also she has absolutely gorgeous hair. Love the subtle highlights (possibly natural grey?) at the front.

    Gloria Steinem. I would not like to be the owner of your Kinja inbox for the next 24 hours ๐Ÿ˜€

    You just critiqued Gloria Steinem on her looks. I think this meets the definition of irony, no?

    Very deftly put! (And agreed re: the inbox.)

    Ha! I sort of assumed she was joking. I DO want to know who the woman is on the right though (Tavi’s left).

    Pretty sure that’s Alison Williams who plays Marnie on Girls.

    Ha ha ha. Yes, I’m an asshole. I knew she looked familiar, but I was trying to figure out who she was in the context of fashion and it just wasn’t clicking.
    Good lord. That could not be more ironic.

    I may have to change my name… I can’t stop laughing at myself right now, so please, feel free to join in.

    Jezebel has officially jumped the shark.

    1. ye, yes, but where do you stand on the big question in the comments – should you mark up your books?

      1. Not if the book is written by a woman. She poured her heart and soul into that piece of work, and to mark it would be to abuse her ideas, which is practically assault, which is practically rape.

        1. Silly man. Feminism gets sacrificed on the altar of socialism, not the other way around. Profit is more evil than patriarchy.

      2. I do not mark-up my books, but I do not condemn those that do.

        I do condemn the people who destroy paperbacks by cracking the spine in dozens of locations, but advocate no aggression toward them.

        1. This is what Post-It Flags are for.

        2. I hate it when people fuck up paperbacks that way too but printers need to put more paper between the binding and the inner margin. Some paperbacks are nigh impossible to read without seriously flexing the spine.

          1. Did you used to post under dbcooper? If so, then you know how much worse most British paperbacks are. My copy of Chasm City exploded after two reads.

            1. Amen!

            2. No, I’ve been posting here under this handle since about 2002.

            3. British books, in general, are made like shit anymore. The paperbacks are basically one-use only.

          2. Absolutely. For some reason book designers think that a paperback needs a generous outside margin for your thumbs, but not a wider inner one. Of course, broken spines will usually kill the value of a used book, so you could consider it a plot to discourage used book sales.

    2. So if the woman on the right had turned out to be someone outside the left wing tribe like Phyllis Shafely or (gasp) the woman from Alaska whose name cannot be said, it would have been perfectly okay for the Jezzies to mercilessly critique and insult her looks. But since it was someone from the left wing tribe, doing so is something to be embarrassed about. That about right?

  43. Serious question: Why the Mets so stupid, stupid?

    They should be offering the Marlins basically anything the Marlins want for Stanton. The guy is under 24 and already has almost 100 home runs. He has easy 40 home run power. He plays a corner outfield spot, which, not for nothing, we could use more production out of.

    And the cost is a 24 year old catcher (who is good, but I never see hitting above .290, and that will be his peak year) and a pitching prospect? Okay, I would like a package where we don’t give up Wheeler, but… 24 year old guy who could be a perennial MVP candidate, who clearly wants off his current team?


    1. Prospects are overvalued ATM, and the Wilpons are retards (trust me, I used to deal with both the team and Sterling in a professional capacity). Stanton’s proven worth is about equal to Wheeler’s potential; any trade that doesn’t involve Harvey is a no-brainer, imo.

      1. Are the Marlins only biting with both Armas and Wheeler in the deal? If we could even keep one of those two, that deal is such a no brainer its not even funny.

        I would be a bit reluctant to give them both up. The only concern I would have is injuries. Stanton still hit 37 HRs battling them last year, but he is out right now with an injury, and you just don’t want to trade for Frank Thomas 2 (awesome power, awesome stats, maddingly inconsistent health)

        I mean, I know he’s young, but we do have that kid in A ball who has really good stuff pitching wise. I wouldn’t mind tossing him in a deal, not that he’s that valuable atm.

        And yes, the Wilpons are fucking terrible owners. I wish Selig had made them sell the team when they hit money problems a year or so back, but apparently you basically have to pull a McCourt and utterly torch the finances of a marquee franchise publicly before MLB steps in to even say boo.

        1. Well, Big Hurt II is essentially what you’re getting, but that’s still better than anything in the deal and probably equal to the sum of the parts. The only rumors I’ve seen are d’Arnaud and Wheeler, who are both high risk players for differing reasons that I wouldn’t mind parting with if I was Alderson. Word is that the Marlins aren’t interested in dealing ATM so you’re going to have to blow them away, something the Wilpons aren’t going to greenlight considering the Mets’ history and current state.

          I’ve read that they’re in on CarGo too, which might be a better fit and should come cheaper.

    2. Serious question: Why the Mets so stupid, stupid?

      I thought they were bankrupt, not stupid.

      Well, they could be both.

      And it’s certainly not “we”, since the Wilpons obviously don’t give a shit about the fans.

      1. Well, when they had money, they could hide their fuck ups. Like Jason “seriously, you gave him that contract?” Bay

        1. Who is worse at what they do: Jason Bay or Michael Bay?

        2. Bay wasn’t that bad of a contract, he was a great player for 5 of the previous 6 years, but what a terrible fit for that park. That’s as dumb as the Red Sox paying $100m for a triples-hitting, gap-erasing, left-handed left fielder.

          1. **didn’t seem that bad at the time. It did end up being a terrible contract.

            1. Suck it, Dodgers!

    3. eff the Mets! Go Braves!

      1. Man, your hands must be heavy as a Braves fan with World Series rings. I mean, given that you won the NL East for 14 straight years, you must have a ton of World Series rings, right?

        1. They give World Series rings to fans?

          1. You may try to confuse me with your facts and logic, but the fact remains that despite winning the division 14 years straight, the Braves won only 1 World Series in that time.

            And are also owned by Ted Turner. Or were owned. Whatever.

            All I’m saying is, the Braves are deserving of mocking and ridicule.

      2. +Tomahawk Chop

      3. Also, Braves fans, you realize that the Phillies are our actual rivals, and Washington could soon move ahead of you (their fans are going from cute to irritating and will eventually land on dick, and geographically its a more logical NY rival)?

        Go… have a rivalry with the Marlins. Or battle the Nats for control of the South. Atlanta may be the New York of the South… but that’s not saying much.

  44. Anything else would amount to admitting that a government comprised of humans is fallible.

    But kkkorporations, on the other hand…

  45. Anonymous hacks WBC Facebook page. Close to 24 hours now.

    I’m just wondering when people are going to stop feeding the WBC troll?

    1. Eh, the only thing I want to do to them anymore is when Fred dies, get a bunch of people to show up at his funeral waving signs saying “God hates Fred Phelps” and that’s mostly due to his sheer dickishness.

      But once the old man dies, I say we just let them devolve into inbreeding and stupidity.

    2. Why would anybody want to hack the World Baseball Classic?

      1. Or the World Boxing Congress.

        1. Wiccan Break-dancing Confederation.

  46. What followed was a nightmare?a fall through Alice’s looking-glass into a world that I could not possibly have believed existed, least of all behind the ivy-covered walls thought to protect an ostensible dedication to enlightenment and intellectual betterment.

    That world-




  47. It’s sad that my reaction to the news of someone trying to poison a pol is, “Well, even if they died, it’s not like society would be losing anyone of any real value.”

    If by “sad” you mean “perfectly rational”.

    1. Daddy Daddy, the President is dead

      Don Draper: It’s okay honey, we will get another one.

  48. I’d like your opinions on something. OK, so I’m in the back of the farm yesterday and as I’m walking up, I see a deputy coming down the drive (after passing through a gate) toward the house at the back of our property a guy rents. The deputy asked who I was and I returned the question. He said he was with the probation department and was looking for the tenant. I told him he was free to knock on the door of the house and asked who had let him through the gate. He asked for my ID and I told him I had none on me and he was free to come up to my house (outside the gate) if he needed to talk to me as it was starting to rain and I wanted to get in.

    OK, so I go home and he goes to the neighbor’s house. )I know the kid has a pair of DUI’s and one resulted in a serious accident with injuries and he’s on probation.) After about 15 minutes, the deputy comes by my house on the way out and I walk outside to ask him if he’d please not park his cruiser with “PROBATION DEPARTMENT” written across it in front of my house well off the right of way. He said he liked it to be prominently placed and I said that was fine, but that I’m not on probation, so he’s sending the message about the wrong person. I asked him to please park it between some olive trees off my driveway or to at least park it on the other side of the drive so nobody thought I was a convict. He said they have a departmental directive to make a show of force when out in public as a deterrent to criminal behavior.

    1. So I reminded him that I had no criminal record and that he was making me look bad, not to mention he was parking on my property as opposed to the side of the road.

      He said he’d “take it under advisement”, and then proceeded to start asking me questions about how long we’ve lived there, what do we know about out neighbor, what are his living habits, etc. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable answering him and that how long I’ve lived there was really not relevant to his job.

      Creepy motherfucker pissed me off. Next time, I’ll grab my gun and head down to my shooting range in the back field when I see him coming through the gate.

      Anyway, what would you guys do if confronted in the same way?

      1. What can you do? I mean…pigs gonna pig.

      2. Tell him in no uncertain terms that his kind, mooching parasitic thugs, aren’t welcome on your property.

        1. I guess I’m not quite the same level of rage-fueled, paranoid, cop-hating asshole as Libertymike here. I think I would have just asked him why he needed my info, without giving him any, and that I wouldn’t talk about the neighbor, like what you did. You can tell him you don’t want him parking on your lot all you want, you know it’s not going to change anything. The best thing is to always just be polite.

          1. What Sparky said. Fucking with a cop is like going down the zoo and teasing the lions.

            1. More like the baboons.

      3. Walk away while he was talking. That would make the fucker’s blood boil.

        1. You have no legal duty to assist any gang member donning Caesar’s clown costumes.

      4. Lock the gate.

      5. That is a tough question because you can always beat the charge but you can’t beat the ride. I would avoid any direct confrontation with him if at all possible. The fucker can basically stuff you and cuff you and ruin your day and there won’t be much you can do about it. All he has to do is say you were disorderly.

        I think what I would do is find out who is boss is and call them. That would give you a chance to talk to someone over the phone, explain the situation, and maybe get some relief. His boss might actually be a reasonable person and tell him to knock it off. If not, if he does it again, I would take a picture of the vehicle in front of your yard and go to the media and also call the governor’s office. My guess is that if you raise enough hell in the right places, they will tell this asshole to knock it off.

        1. If he does not have a warrant, sloop is free to tell him to vacate the premises, pronto.

          As he is ordering the deputy to leave, sloop calls the police to inform them of the deputy’s attitude and that he will not tolerate it.

          Of course, sloop has tape running throughout.

          1. Sure he is. And the cop can beat the shit out of him and arrest him. And yes, Sloopy can sue an in a few years get a nice settlement. But that is a real pain in the ass. You are a lot better off avoiding that if you possibly can.

            1. That also assumes there isn’t something sloopy may be doing “wrong” – like a joint in the ashtray.

              Not the real reason for anything, but certainly enough to charge a felony and remove almost any possibility of a settlement.

              So yeah, I’m with you – avoid confrontation if possible, just like avoiding all court if possible.

      6. Be careful though. You know better than I do from your link, many of these people are just fucking animals and dangerous ones at that. Never deal with them lightly.

      7. I hope I would do about what you did. Hard to say what would be the best response if he comes and parks there again. I don’t imagine you want to make any enemies.

      8. I would probably have vomited. After doing pretty much what you did, I mean.

      9. He said they have a departmental directive to make a show of force when out in public as a deterrent to criminal behavior.

        Sounds like he’s OK with you toting a weapon when he calls again.

      10. ‘…departmental directive to make a show of force when out in public…’

        WTF. As a matter of policy, the Probation Department finds it necessary to intimidate the general public?

        1. This was my real issue with the situation. It’s fine and dandy that he’s going to see the guy who voluntarily agreed to the terms of his probation, but parking his cruiser in front of my house in a “show of force” when there is a better and more appropriate place to park it just pisses me off and makes me look bad.

          Hopefully he’ll respect my wishes and park it elsewhere or just ask my neighbor if he can come through the gate with it. The only problem there is that a large part of the area behind the gate is mine, not his. And if he starts snooping around my outbuildings, I’m likely to blow a gasket.

          Meh, I think I handled it as well and courteously as possible. Now we’ll see if he returns the courtesy when he returns.

          1. You did the exact right thing. You can’t win a direct confrontation with these fuckers. The problem is that he is a probation officer, which is one step above being a jailer on the cop hierarchy. You are not dealing with the best type of cop here. And on top of that probationers have no 4th Amendment rights. So he is used to doing whatever the hell he wants with no worries of probable cause and such. You think you a regular cop’s training is bad, a jailor or a probation officer’s is even worse. So you are not likely to win a rational argument with him. Your best hope is to kiss his ass a bit and hope he doesn’t come very often.

      11. As I was just explaining to my kids last night, never challenge a cop unless there is simply no way to avoid it, sure the plurality of cops are mostly honest and just doing a difficult job and even a majority of them wouldn’t go so far as to mess someone up for just giving them a hard time, but if you get the wrong one, and these guys may be a minority but they ain’t rare, you are going to end up in a hospital facing resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer charges if not the morgue and he’s gonna walk scott free.

        That said in this case I probably would not have cared about where he parked in the first place but otherwise would have reacted similarly.

      12. A simple solution occurs to me.

        Stake some livestock to his parking spot and feed them liberally.

        MAke sure that the grass is covered with sheep or goat shit.

        Every time he picks a different spot, do the same.

        He’ll eventually get fed up and go away. In the meantime the inside of his car will smell like shit. His wife will be schreechign at him about tracking shit into the house.

        And what’s he going to do, complain that you are grazing your livestock on your property?

        1. This is an awesome idea.

          1. Until he “feels threatened” by the livestock and blows ’em away.

            1. “That goat was coming straight at me!”

              “Assault Chicken!”

      13. I think that’s about the level I could handle it. Frankly, I’m not sure I could have handled it that well.

      14. Tell him to show me a warrant or fuck off.

      15. Mostly what you did.

        If you want to take it to the limit, take pictures of his car on your property then file trespassing charges.

        1. That’s probably a decent way to get him to keep the car off your lot.

      16. #1 tell him to get off my property.

        #2 tell him that trespassing is illegal and will be prosecuted

        #3 defer any questions to my lawyer (who happens to live with me).

      17. Pull a Beverly Hills Cop on his car. Banana in the tailpipe.

      18. asking me questions about how long we’ve lived there, what do we know about out neighbor, what are his living habits, etc.

        You’re always supposed to answer this with, “They were good boys, but the made a lot of racket at night.”

        1. I would have if the cop had been a honkie dressed like a Hasidic diamond merchant.

  49. A bit over an hour and over 350 comments – prolific bunch today.

    1. Seems pretty slow today to me.

    2. There aren’t any good blog posts newer than this one for us to tackle.

  50. Oh, goody!

    Bloomberg is pimping academic shitflinging over academic study. (Rogoff’s) “Those guys didn’t manipulate the data the way we want; they cheated.”


  51. RIP Pat Summerall.

    John Madden said, “if you couldn’t get along with Pat Summerall, you couldn’t get along with anybody”.

  52. Guys! You have to check this out! I almost peed myself laughing at the hilarity!

    1. Mr. “Oh No! What’s My Job? I Don’t Have a Job!”

    Soooooo typical. The old “I fell off the belltower and got amnesia and now I’ve reverted to my wise-cracking high school alter-ego ‘T-Bone’ and I can’t remember what my job is” excuse. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one, I wouldn’t have to date guys with jobs! I’d be nickel-rich!!!

    2. Mr. “Lives with Parents”

    Oh, but not with his parents. Sorry for the confusion. He just got drunk one time, wandered into some random house, went to sleep in the baby’s room, and started calling the people who live there Mommy and Daddy. It’s like, grow up, Reggie.

    3. Mr. “Nyeeehhhhhhh, I Work for the Phone Company and I’m Wearing a Windbreaker”

    Yeah, it’s pretty cool that you’re impervious to wind, but quit being so fucking smug.

    4. Mr. “Shipwrecked on a Deserted Island”

    That dude is never going to be president.

    5. Mr. “I Have Bee Beard and I’m Jealous of Other People with Better Bee Beards”

    Obviously not good husband material?he can’t even get good bees!

    1. I think my favorite part is how, when people take umbrage, Lindsey always goes, “You people just don’t get satire!”

      Ms. West clearly forgot the part where satire was supposed to be, y’know, funny.

    2. That is the least funny thing I have read since some asshole blew legs off innocent folks in Boston.

    3. The Jezzies love to throw a fit whenever male comics or commentators says that women aren’t funny or no women have a sense of humor. This is wrong, of course. There are plenty of women who are very funny and have a keen sense of humor. But the continued employment of Lindy West and the wild overpraise for her alleged humor in the feministosphere makes male comic’s or commentator’s assertions seem more likely than experience suggests.

      1. As I’ve said before, I do stand up. I know female stand up comedians. They are much, much more funny than Lindsey West. Some of them are even into the whole Women’s Studies crap. Seriously, to find a better comedy writer, Jezebel literally just needs to go to an open mic in any American city with more than 100,000 people, and they will find a suitable Lindsey West replacement.

        It just makes so little sense the love and praise for her.

        1. Back in the 80s when HBO used to have all of those comedy specials, they had several female comedians whose names escape me now that were quite funny. Hell Ellen Degeneras was pretty funny back when she first started out. A lot funnier than Lindsey West.

          1. The 80’s can never be forgiven for subjecting us to Paula Poundstone.

            1. There used to be some skinny blond chick with a big nose and fuzzy hair. She always wore this black leather corset like top on stage. She was actually really funny. I have totally forgotten her name.

              1. I remember liking Rita Rudner a lot back then.

                1. I saw Rudner in Vegas with my wife a couple of years ago. She was great. Really funny.

                  1. Her contribution to “The Aristocrats” was pretty funny as I recall. She definitely put her own twist on it.

        2. I’d say that currently, I like more female comedians than male comedians. Outside of Louis CK, Paul F Tompkins, Andy Daly and Jimmy Pardo, the people that really crack me up and amaze me with their impov skills are all women.

          There are a lot of really funny women out there. What you’ve posted above is so far below funny, I don’t know what to make of it.

    4. 4. Mr. “Shipwrecked on a Deserted Island”

      That dude is never going to be president.

      Is this like Lindy West’s impression of a Thomas Friedman article? Like what Friedman would write if he were writing for jezebel?

    5. I don’t get it. Are there pictures that go along with this? Who’s “Reggie”? What sound is “Nyeehhhhhhh” supposed to represent?

  53. For Sloopy, from the thread below:

    There is no one person or faction turning up the heat

    I have been thinking about this exact point recently, in the context of local police behavior. We have reached a point where there are so many overlapping local, state, and federal “initiatives” in play that there is no longer anyone, no entity or individual, in charge. Any pretense of citizen control of the apparatus has been abandoned. If the people actually wanted to apply political pressure in order to get the cops to back off, it would be almost impossible to find an effective pressure point.

    This is not accidental.

    as it applies to your story.

    He said they have a departmental directive to make a show of force when out in public as a deterrent to criminal behavior.

    If you ventured into the hive of villainy and attempted to discover the source of this “directive” I suspect you’d need a new pair of shoes after the runaround.

    1. Yup. I got pulled over a couple of years ago by some flatfoot in an FBI vehicle who was attached to the local Joint Task Force. Total bullshit. The guy didn’t have any authority to pull me over. He just decided to be a cock. Well, I happen to work with a lot of LEOs and know a lot of people. So I go to work the next Monday and start trying to get a hold of his boss. Took me, someone who is basically an insider, about a week to figure out just who this asshole was and who he worked for. If I had been a private citizen with no contacts, forget it. Cops can do anything they want any time.

  54. Next time, I’ll grab my gun and head down to my shooting range in the back field when I see him coming through the gate.

    Two words: OFFICER SAFETY

  55. Wife of ex-judge arrested in connection with murder of Texas DA

    But, what about the white supremacists? I thought they were responsible!

    1. Well, once the ex-judge is convicted and sentenced for murder, I’m sure he’ll be joining the white supremacist group in prison in order to survive.

      1. Even the Aryan nation and Mexican drug gangs are smarter than to start killing DA’s and their families. If they ever did that, the US government would just start killing them. There wouldn’t be a skin head alive with more than a six month life expectancy. And they know that. They will risk prison. But they are not risking that.

        1. Agreed, though AB was one group who I think have targeted DA’s in the past, so are theoretically capable of doing so again – they haven’t in any recent memory though (I think when they did it was the 80s) and do not for the reasons you mention.

          IE – Gangs may use death and other things which make them appear irrational, but they are not. And killing DAs is irrational.

  56. “The government of Cyprus will be selling a portion of its gold reserves to raise money to secure an EU/IMF bailout.”

    PERFECT timing!

  57. Doom

    Late-winter blasts like these are nothing new for central Europe, according to CNN meteorologist Brandon Miller.

    In fact, in Germany they have something known as M?rzwinter, or “March winter,” said Miller. The phenomenon occurs in mid-March when, after a period of spring-like warmth early in the month that often sees trees and flowers begin to bloom, cold northerly winds bring mid-winter type weather back to the country.

    True to form, last week there were seven consecutive days of above-average temperatures in Frankfurt.

    The mercury peaked Saturday with a high of 17 degrees Celsius (about 62 degrees Fahrenheit), the kind of temperature usually expected in mid-May. On Tuesday, however, winter returned with a vengeance, dropping 12 centimeters (4.7 inches) of snow by noon.

    1. What happens when it becomes so obvious AGW is bunk that even they can’t deny it anymore? Will there be suicides?

      1. WE can only hope so.

      2. No. Some new enviromental hair shirt will be invented to keep the proles from having nice things that only their betters are entitled to.

      3. I read in a story this morning that the unusual amount of snow this year is because of the ice cap melting.

  58. I heard a couple of lefty douchebags braying happily about this last night.

    Governor Steve Bullock on Monday vetoed House Bill 304, which would have allowed any person eligible to own a handgun to also be able to carry that weapon concealed in cities.

    The Governor included the following rationale in his letter to legislative leadership:

    “House Bill 304 would effectively eliminate Montana’s concealed weapon permitting process by allowing anyone eligible to possess a handgun to carry a concealed weapon without a permit. The measure would allow individuals to decide whether they are eligible to carry a concealed weapon.

    “If the logic of HB 304 were applied to other situations, there would be no need for a person to be licensed before driving on our highways – all they would need to do would be to determine whether they were “eligible” to drive. The same goes for pilot’s licenses, building permits, hunting licenses, or any other type of permit.

    While I will fiercely defend the 2nd amendment rights of our citizens, I cannot support an absurd concept that threatens the safety of our communities, by not providing for basic fundamentals of gun safety or mental health screening.

    1. Notice the huge number of mass shootings in Vermont.

      1. Or notice the huge number of mass shootings in Arizona.

        OK wait, maybe not a *perfect* example.

    2. Oh noes, citizens might do what they want without oversight!

  59. I respectfully ask that you stand with the Montana Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association, the Montana County Attorneys Association and the Montana Association of Chiefs of Police in opposition to this bill and sustain my veto.”

    Left wing authoritarianism, in thrall to the cops.

    Makes ya proud to be an American.

  60. Any DC area peeps headed to the bigass gun show in Chantilly this weekend? If the squeeze is available, I’ll be there (he’s very gun-knowledgable so I count on his input).

    1. Really? Is that out at Dulles? My wife has a few things to do Saturday. Maybe I will go out there. I haven’t been to a gun show in ages.

    2. That is really a good idea Kristen. If you are ever going to meet some stranger off the internet, with your boyfriend at a gun show is probably the place to do it.

      1. I’ve thought about going up there a couple times. But never managed to make it. Won’t this time either.

        Fun fact: the biggest gun store on the East Coast in this tiny little Eastern Carolina town, basically in the middle of nowhere. I stop there on my way to and from the beach.

        1. Gun shows are kind of a hoot. A lot of the people who go to them are about on the level of trekies. I always laugh when some progtard is on TV ranting about the dangers of gun shows. Those things are like comic book conventions with fewer women. Criminals don’t go to gun shows. Geeks go to gun shows.

          1. Yep. Gun geeks are just regular geeks with worse clothes. I saw a bunch of hipsters at Knob Creek last weekend.

  61. Now we’ll see if he returns the courtesy when he returns.

    I hope you’re not in Kern county.

    1. Tulare County, actually. I couldn’t live in Kern County if you paid me to. Lots of great people there, but the cops are out of fucking control.

  62. Bloomberg is now breathlessly reporting a letter with a “suspicious substance” was sent to the Ascended One.

    Thankfully, it never came near him.

    No word on where he is spending his next vacation.

    1. I didn’t see it. But I am told that on CNN when they first reported the Boston bombings, the first thing out of their mouth after “there has been a bombing at the Boston marathon” was “the President is safe”, like that was an issue or something. It is a fucking cult.

    2. The only way to get a letter to the president is to send it to Hawaii.

  63. like that was an issue or something.

    How do we know he wasn’t running in the Boston marathon, wearing a giant papier mache puppet unicorn head?

    1. Because that was me, duh!

      1. Did you cut and paste that comment from another thread?

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