North Korea

North Korea: No War Today

It's past the dawn in Korea


you're breaking my balls

The seemingly never-ending drama that is North Korea's nuclear saber-rattling continued today with the totalitarian regime pointing one of its missiles up. The U.S. and South Korea believe its "highly likely" North Korea will launch a missile. The country has conducted three missile tests since Kim Jong Un took power about a year and a half ago. The U.S. announced last week it was deploying missile defense systems to Guam while Japan deployed Patriot missiles in Tokyo this week.

And what of China, North Korea's only real ally on the planet? The Chinese foreign ministry took umbrage to suggestions by American politicians it wasn't doing enough to restrain North Korean threats, saying its maintained a consistent position supporting peace, stability and dialogue on the peninsula. In fact, China's recent rhetoric would indicate the world's largest communist country's lost patience with its tiny neighbor. It would be practically impossible for North Korea to start a sustained conflict with South Korea (or 21st century Red Dawn style, with the U.S.) without the support of China, which is infinitely more interested in flexing its economic muscle than being sucked into North Korea's shenanigans, which could be helping the U.S.'s strategic stance in the region at the expense of China's.

Meanwhile, North Koreans in Pyongyang, which would get pummeled with bombs if the country started a war, appear more concerned with preparing for a national holiday on April 15th than the threat of war. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if the missile launch came on that day, the birthday of North Korea's founder, Kim il Sung, given the regime's penchant for symbolism and numerology.


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  1. maintained a *consisted* position supporting peace

    world’s largest *community* country’s lost patience with its

    Go home Ed, you’re drunk.

  2. Michael Totten had an interesting point about this whole mess. Yes, North Korea sounds insane when you listen to them and their bluster sure seems like nothing more than that, but to paraphrase Totten, what if he’s serious?

    Kim almost certainly isn’t serious, but what if he is? How would we know? His attention-seeking theatrics are identical to the behavior of a lunatic hell-bent on blowing the region apart. If war breaks out next month, everyone who has been paying even the slightest bit of attention to the Korean Peninsula will slap their forehead and see, with the clarity of hindsight, that every warning we could possibly need, want, and expect was right there in front of us.


    1. And if war DOESN’T break out, then that same hindsight would show that these were bluffs by a dictator who recognized that he and a big chunk of his citizen-slaves would likely die if he started a war.

      1. Totten is pretty clear that he thinks the latter, but Jesus I hope so.

        As has been said by many, Seoul would get ugly fast if anything ever broke out.

  3. Meanwhile, North Koreans in Pyongyang, which would get pummeled with bombs if the country started a war, appear more concerned with preparing for a national holiday on April 15th than the threat of war.

    Considering that appearing unconcerned about the birthday of their former Dear Leader is punishable by death, and the saber-rattling has been going on for years, then yes, the rational NK response is to appear as patriotic and reverent as possible.

    1. I remember the videos of the people visiting Kim Jong-Il’s casket pulling off oscar worthy performances.

      They, um, really really really don’t want to go to prison in North Korea.

      1. Their prison camps are waaaay worse than our prisons — and if you go, the rest of your family likely goes, and your children, and their children:

        1. Yeah, the level of depravity at these prisons is freaking medieval.

          So farking terrible.

  4. And in an exercise of real fantasy: …”The US may have killed 20% of the population of Korea”…
    Yep, the US just starting killing Koreans for the heck of it……..ble-anger/

  5. Didn’t this play in that one episode of It’s Always Sunny?…

  6. Regime’s penchant for numerology? It’s an Asian thing.

  7. I’m not a libertarian.
    However, I love Love love
    The title of this article says it all!!!

  8. He’s so ronery. He works rearry hard to make up great prans, but nobody ristens, no one understands.

    Seems like we shouldn’t be taking him seriously.

  9. I have no doubt that whenever the ChiComs get tired of the Baby God Dictator of the Norks, he’ll have an “accident”. The Red Dynasty cares about stability over everything else, and the Kim family is on very thin ice.


  10. Goodnight, Wesley. Sleep well. I’ll most likely nuke you in the morning.

  11. North Korea: No War Today

    Called it.

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