A.M. Links: Banks Repay Federal Loans With Federal Money, IRS Illegally Spies on Email, Soda Bans Lead To Drinking More Soda


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  1. Troll Free Thursday Topic of the Day: Could FIFA do a worse job of adding new rules and “points of emphasis” for referees?

    1. You people talked about hockey on Monday. Enough already.

      1. I missed it. May we rehash?

      2. we were talking hockey? and I missed it?

        1. Would it have been more clear if he said something like “all the touchdowns the pitcher scored in the hockey game”?

        2. Red Wings 20 year playoff streak in jeopardy. Discuss.

          1. hmm. they have a game in hand. I think they just make it.

          2. They only have 4 home games left. It’s going to be down to the wire with Phoenix of all teams going for that 8th spot. They’ll lose in the first round anyway. I’d actually like for them to miss and get a shot at one of the 3 wunderkind centers coming in the draft this year.

            1. My love of the Red Wings has dwindled since the retirement of Yzerman.

              1. My hatred of the Red Wings has not dwindled since they were “Red Army North”.

            2. How often does an 8th seed win?

          3. I am hoping they make it in as the #8 so the Blackhawks can utterly dismantle them in the first round.

        3. Okay. Fun beer league fact. I travel a lot for work and the easiest play to find drop-in in the entire country? Raleigh, NC. I found three rinks within 10 minutes of my hotel and was able to play every night. New York and Boston charge $25 to skate – ridiculous. And no place in the northeast has enough ice time at night. Only cops and firefighters can play two hours at noon.

          1. what’s it cost you to play? we pay as a team and it works about to about $450 a skater. about 15 on the roster. goalies play free. fuckers.

          2. Well, I’d normally say that, but I took a stick in the face – broke my orbital, sinus, nose, and skull !?! A paramedic was there and hopped the boards to stop the bleeding. We got to the locker room and he said he had his pack so he could stitch me up. He pulled the towel away, took a look, and said hell no, we’re going to the ER.

            1. you don’t wear a cage?

              1. I do now. Started at 5 years old (full gear til 17), never took a bad stick or puck until I was 35. That sucked. Being stupid is stupid.

            2. So, I wear a full mask now. Wife says if I’m not getting paid to play, I can’t go Ron Duguay.

    2. Soccer is the greatest troll in the history of mankind.

      1. Agreed. It make me want to hurl things and decry the whole “sport”.

        1. You’re just pissed because you’re a M?laga fan, aren’t you? 😉

          1. I went to a couple Kaiserslautern games in 1997.

            Other than that, I couldn’t name more than a handful of teams that play that miserable game.

            You want fun with a ball on grass, go watch rugby union, Aussie Rules or the NFL.

            1. So you prefer your sport to not require a lot of skill or acumen to play, unlike the beautiful game.

              (I keed, I keed)

              1. So, Mr. s is kidding – come into this scrum, please…

            2. Heck, even better, go to a High School Rivalry Football Game. I officiated a couple this year, nothing is better than that.

              1. Hertha BSC came to town and the 1FCK fans treated it like the Mongols had come riding over the hill to loot and rape and burn. They had groups of cops, 10 men at a time, with large dogs and for reals “assault rifles”. I sat in the section next to them (separated by a chain link fence for God’s sake!?) and they spent the whole game shirtless, screaming profanities and flipping the bird at the cameras in the stadium (1/2 cops, 1/2 TV sports program ones).

                The Beautiful Game indeed.

      2. So, everyone is into soccer just to annoy you? Interesting theory.

        1. No, the creators of soccer were sockpuppets pretending it was a real, worthwhile game. And a billion people fell for it.

          1. Your ideas intrigue me. Who do you suppose was the puppet master in all this?

            1. Pele?

            2. Jews.

            3. Greifers gotta grief.

      3. When they write the history of the downfall of America, they will point to the time period where children stopped playing football and baseball and started playing the gayest sport known to man…SOCCER!

        That is all.

        1. In baseball, every kid gets their turn to be a goat or a hero, to know the pain of personal failure when striking out, and the glory of personal accomplishment when hitting a home run.

          In soccer, you just kick the ball to the next kid, and once every hour or so, someone randomly scores a goal.

          1. Don’t forget falling down and grabbing your shin every so often. I heard faking injuries builds character or some shit.

    3. I understand they are implementing a new rule that a moderate breeze of at least 10mph is required before writhing on the ground in pain for 20 minutes.

      1. Well, I guess my little statement backfired just a touch!

  2. Small banks that received TARP loans from the feds repayed the money with money from another federal program meant to boost lending to small businesses…

    In related news, shit stinks.

      1. The Liberia is covering it up.

          1. Actually that’s pretty much true. Especially in Monrovia.

    1. Too Small To Fail, biotches!

  3. Watching Nikki, Kristen and IFH with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The commentariat would never stop. It would never leave them. It would never hurt them, never shout at them, or get drunk and hit them, or say it was too busy to spend time with them. It would always be there. And it would die to protect them. Of all the would-be lovers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine was the only one that measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

    It’s Troll Free Thursday, so get out there and make a difference!

    And just a reminder, TFT is like a full day thing, not just for the morning links, you apes.

    1. Researchers say that oh-so trendy soda bans will likely lead to more sugar consumption as vendors logically offer bundles of smaller drinks as an end run around the law.

      The more you tighten your grip Bloomberg, the more soda you will encourage to be drunk…

      1. So that means Cuomo is there to hold Bloomberg’s leash? Or is it the reverse?

        1. Not sure. I do think Cuomo looks more like the Emperor and Bloomberg looks more like Vader. He certainly does look like someone cut his legs off.

          1. maybe he had to much soda and has diabetes and is going to lose the leg

          2. If anyone in NY is the Emperor, it’s Rainbow Bitch Titties.

      2. My prediction is that decades from now after many years of Bloomberg being out of office (or dead), apathy towards this law will have grown into systemic non-enforcement and become ancient lore. The 16 oz soda ban will become a local bar trivia question about “laws you won’t believe are actually on the books!”

        It’ll be like the law that says a slice of cheese has to be served with apple pie in Wisconsin.

        1. Except the ban was struck down. It’s not on the books. Common sense prevails for the moment.

          1. I’m assuming that’ll be very short lived in NY.

    2. It’s Troll Free Thursday, so get out there and make a difference!

      Fuck off, slaver.

  4. Researchers say that oh-so trendy soda bans will likely lead to more sugar consumption as vendors logically offer bundles of smaller drinks as an end run around the law.

    A banner’s job is never done.

    1. Ban Hard II: Ban Harder.

      Wasn’t Ban Harder the original bass player for Soundgarden? Or am I thinking of Pogo?

      1. Slurpee ki-yay

        1. *shakes head, silently thinks “here we go again”*

            1. Well, it is the only road I’ve ever known.

              1. Carry a laser down the road that you must follow.

              2. So you know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams?

              3. Are you like a drifter, born to walk alone?

    2. Once all the things are banned the only thing left to ban will be the act of banning. And after this final act we will have finally reached Libertopia.

      1. A banning Ouroboros?

        Oh and kudos to J.D. for a wonderful use of “Ouroboros”

    3. The new one-drop rule will be that you have to consume soft drinks with an eye-dropper, one drop at a time. Straws will be contraband, available only with a doctor’s prescription (for people with their jaws wired shut).

  5. When you answer the door in New Jersey, don’t do so wth a joint dangling from your lips. The state’s Supreme Court says that’s an invitation for the cops to come in and break out the handcuffs.

    That’s just criminal stupidity.

    1. Stupidity is not a crime! Gimme my gubmint check!

    2. Someone stole his wits.

    3. If you do it with a bong dangling from your lips, it means you have really sticky lips.

    4. I thought simply living in New Jersey was an invitation for cops to come in and break out the handcuffs.

      1. Agreed.

        “Officer, can you describe to us the reason for your arrest”

        “Yes, the subject was a resident of the State of New Jersey”

        “Nothing further, your honor”

        “Very well, I am finding that there was probable cause for the search and arrest. Counsel, please see the clerk for our next hearing date”.

        1. “He was plotting to pump his own gas!”

          1. Not being able to pump your own gas offends me disproportionately so for some reason, even though I’ve never actually been subject to that nonsense.

            1. It’s because you hate people having jobs.

              1. It’s because you hate people having jobs.

                This covers about 95% of my politics.

    5. That was my thought.

      While I don’t think it should be any different than me answering the door with a beer in my hand, it IS still illegal. Don’t be surprised when you get arrested while doing something illegal in front of cops.

      1. Unless of course you’re looking to film a pornstar banging herself in the back of their squad car while they’re on duty, then in that case they’re happy to assist you and offer to join in.

        1. According to interim general manager of the Los Angeles Department of Transportation Amir Sedadi, the two officers are currently on administrative leave pending completion of the investigation.

          They got to bang a pornstar AND they get a paid vacation out of the deal?

        2. I hope they were wearing condoms! Wouldn’t want them to get hassled by whoever enforces Measure B.

    6. But don’t they have Medijuana in Jersey? So possessing MJ in and of itself should not constitute probable cause, since the person could be a card holder.

  6. The 2013 Sheinberg Scholar-in-Residence at NYU Law School is Kathy Boudin, a convicted murderer dating back to a 1981 Brinks armored car robbery staged by the Weather Underground.

    A member of the Weather Underground found in academia? Say it ain’t so!

    1. Wonder how she feels about the Second Ammendment.

    2. It’s not like she killed anyone important. Sometimes nobles kill peasants for sport, that’s why they’re nobles.

    3. And she’s not even in the Meteorology department.

      1. *basilisk type stare*

        Not you too.

    4. Meh, I find it hard to get too upset over this. Our criminal justice system is supposed to make the convict serve the time and then rejoin society. If you don’t like the fact that they are out and about, change the law so they are locked up longer. The information is freely available, so anyone can see the criminal record, but I don’t think that it has to be publicly announced anytime that person wants to do something.

      I abhor the sex offender’s database for exactly those reasons.

      1. I abhor the sex offender’s database for exactly those reasons.

        Get over it gB, you will never get that job teaching Pre-K database or no database.

      2. As far as the government is concerned, sure. However, no way I’m hiring someone with a murder conviction. Yeah, I know, I’m prejudiced against murderers.

        1. What if they murdered Nancy Pelosi? Would you hire them then?

          1. I’m generally anti-murderer/employee.

          2. No, but I might give them a hundred dollars.

      3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brinks_robbery_(1981)

        Fuck her. She’s a cold blooded murderer and thief. She should have been shot in the back of the head after the guilty verdict was handed down.

  7. Sex Pistol Johnny Rotten attacks hate mobs celebrating Baroness Thatcher’s death as ‘loathsome’ and calls for respect


    1. I prefer to think of him as Public Image Ltd’s Johnny Rotten.

    2. Would John fuck Johnny Rotten?

      1. Doubt it.

        I bet he’d go for Liza.


        1. Wow, I honestly thought she was dead.

    3. when Johnny Rotten is the voice of civility and reason….

      1. No shit.

        1. I love how they had to toss in speculation that he’s a Nazi – doesn’t that just go hand-in-hand with respecting a dead Margaret Thatcher.

      2. I hate to say it but it appears The Thatcher Era was a speed bump in the decline of Britain into complete insanity. It is reverting to trend and has now completely picked up where it left off in the late 70’s. Will be interesting, and sad, to watch.

        1. Yes, well, the USA is only a couple of decades, at best, behind them.

        2. You think they’ll go back to outright nationalization of industries, or do it more subtly this time?

          1. That’s one possibility. Personally, what I think will happen there (and here, frankly) is outright nationalization with the excuse of stabilizing the broader macroeconomic environment once the whole thing starts to collapse. Temporarily, of course…

        3. I hate to say it but it appears The Thatcher Reagan Era was a speed bump in the decline of Britain America into complete insanity. It is reverting to trend and has now completely picked up where it left off in the late 70’s. Will be interesting, and sad, to watch.

          1. That too.

      3. Johnny Rotten’s not a dummy. And didn’t he give props to Ron Paul when they were both on the Tonight Show?

    4. It gives me hope when a liberal actually lives up to the “compassionate” label. Sadly it doesn’t happen too often.

  8. Daredevil dies as he hurls himself off a 120ft bridge in stunt… and asks his friends to film the whole thing

    And the Darwin Award goes to…

    1. How much money are those Darwin Awards worth anyway? I mean a Nobel’s a cool million, but I probably won’t win one of those. I mean another one of those.

      1. If Obama can win one, why not you or I?

        1. We don’t have the ability to peacefully bomb enough people.

          1. Now, there’s a real oportunity coming up to peacefully start a war with NK and peacefully turn the peninsula into a glowing parking lot, so if you play your cards right?

    2. Near impossible to get a Darwin Award if you live in China considering blanket prohibition on reproducing

    3. Parkour craze involves fans performing acrobatics in urban settings; Became hit after appearing in action films like James Bond

      Here we go again, blaming the movies. Do these fucks ever go on Youtube? This shit has been going on for years and years without the help of hollywood.

      1. A French sport developed out of hoodlums running away from the police.

        BEST. SPORT. EVER.

        1. Yeah, either you get to see french cops humilated when the hoddlums get away or you get to see french hoodlums humiliated when they faceplant and are carted off to jail.

          either way the french are humiliated – win/win.

      2. That quote has to be one of the stupidest things I’ve seen written in a while (I make an effort not to read Krugman’s articles).

        parkour was popular for like, a decade before JB or appearing in action films – it shows up in those films *because* its so popular not the other way around.

  9. 2013 predicted to be an above-average hurricane season with 18 tropical storms and nine hurricanes

    Of course it is. If it’s above-average, that’s proof of Global Warming. And if it’s not, then that’s also proof of Global Warming.

    1. We have no clue what an “above average” hurricane season is. Until the last 30 years or so, we missed at least a third, and maybe more than a half, of all hurricanes and tropical storms because we had no clue they existed unless they hit land or a ship ran into it (and survived). It’s only now that we have satellites blanketing the entirety of the Atlantic/Gulf of Mexico that we see these storms.

      Sometime between the 12th and 14th centuries, a Category 5 hurricane hit the coast of New Jersey. In 1635, the “Great Colonial Hurricane” hit Long Island as a Category 4, and then Boston/Plymouth, MA as a Category 3. Imagine the global warming hysteria if either of those hit nowadays. Sandy was a pretty tame storm in the big scheme of things.

      1. Sandy wasn’t just tame, it wasn’t even a named storm when it landed, hence the “Superstorm” BS appellation.

        It wasn’t a strong storm, but, my God man, where it hit! Manhattan was hurt!!1!1!

        1. There have been multiple studies on to what would happen if storm the size of the Long Island Express hurricane of 1938 came up the Hudson into lower Manhattan. It’s never happened, but it’s come close to happening (1815). JFK airport and pretty much everything in lower Manhattan (up to 20th I think?) would be under 20 feet of water.

          As an aside, Long Island/NYC used to get hit by hurricanes on a very regular basis (every 15 years or so). They were long overdue when Sandy hit.

          1. But, global warming?

        2. It was actually pretty bad in comparison to a FL hurricane in damage severity. Over 10% of the claims my company handled were over $100k in damage. Floods are a bitch. Is this was a wind event only, it would have been nothing. Average loss payment on a windstorm ~$5000, on this storm it was about $33k.

          1. It was actually pretty bad in comparison to a FL hurricane in damage severity. Over 10% of the claims my company handled were over $100k in damage. Floods are a bitch. Is this was a wind event only, it would have been nothing. Average loss payment on a windstorm ~$5000, on this storm it was about $33k.

            That has nothing to due with the severity of the storm, but with how fucking expensive everything is in the greater NYC area.

            1. And the fact that everything in Florida is built to withstand hurricanes?

              1. And the fact that everything in Florida is built to withstand hurricanes?

                Exactly. It’s like when Californians were laughing our asses off at people freaking out about a 5.8 earthquake on the east coast. Many Californians didn’t consider that CA construction is very focused on seismic fitness, which isn’t an issue for east coast construction.

            2. Sorry, I meant severity as in claims payments. Insurance speaks a different language.

        3. The reason they made up the superstorm name was to force the insurance companies to not apply hurricane deductible.

          1. Most people in the Northeast don’t have hurricane deductibles. Since we’re not in hurricane zones, our insurance policies generally don’t distinguish between hurricanes and normal storm damage.

            1. There is also a wind deductible, which is akin to hurricane. Every single state DOI or DFS affected sent out notices to insurers they could not apply anything other than the base deductible.

        4. Actually, it was a strong storm:

          “Hurricane Sandy was the deadliest and most destructive tropical cyclone of the 2012 Atlantic hurricane season, as well as the second-costliest hurricane in United States history. Classified as the eighteenth named storm, tenth hurricane and second major hurricane of the year, Sandy was a Category 3 storm at its peak intensity when it made landfall in Cuba.[1] While it was a Category 2 storm off the coast of the Northeastern United States, the storm became the largest Atlantic hurricane on record (as measured by diameter, with winds spanning 1,100 miles (1,800 km)).

          1. Actually, it was a strong storm:

            Nothing in your quote disproves that it wasn’t a strong storm when it made landfall in the northeast, as was said above. Just because millions of people live at sea level where it struck does not make the storm itself stronger. That’s like saying Katrina was a bad storm because of the damage it caused and how nobody knows how to build a damn levee system. While those things are true, Katrina was a bad storm because it was ACTUALLY a bad storm, with category 4 or 5 winds at time of landfall.

            1. Katrina was Category 3 when it hit. And Sandy caused extensive damage with people in New Jersey 40 miles or more from the coast and hundreds of feet above sea level sustaining extensive damage and losses due to high winds. So it wasn’t just “millions of people at sea level”.

              I really don’t get the desire to downplay such a destructive storm simply because it happened to hit the northeast.

              1. “I really don’t get the desire to downplay such a destructive storm simply because it happened to hit the northeast.”

                Because it’s the northeast? And putting parts of it under water is a good start?

                1. Because it’s the northeast? And putting parts of it under water is a good start?

                  Then let me take this opportunity to wish the same on wherever it is that you live.

                  1. I live in Houston. Just wait a while, you’ll get your wish.

                    1. I’ve got nothing against Houston. I actually kind of like Texas – my wife used to live there.

              2. Saying that it wasn’t a strong storm is completely independent of the amount of damage it caused. It’s not downplaying anything; in fact it should serve to increase the warning about what could happed in the future. As in, “if a non-hurricane level storm can do that much damage, imagine if a storm 50% stronger hit!”

                The strength of a storm does not depend on how populous of an area it hits. The amount of property and human damage it does, does.

              3. Because it was a nothing storm. If that storm hits Miami, or if it hits Galveston/Houston, there’s very little damage. The northeast gets hurricanes on a very regular basis, but nobody ever thought to actually build anything to withstand even a small hurricane.

              4. I really don’t get the desire to downplay such a destructive storm simply because it happened to hit the northeast.

                Uh, because that’s exactly how they were regarding the Tornadoes that swept through the South a few years ago?

        5. It wasn’t a strong storm, but, my God man, where it hit! Manhattan was hurt!!1!1!

          Where it proceeded to cause billions of dollars in damage and made thousands homeless. Do you even know what the fuck you’re talking about? Yes, it wasn’t a major hurricane – if it was, we’d be talking about millions homeless simply due to the concentration of people.

          1. I rather imagine I know a whole bunch more about what I am talking about than you.

            I was referring (see the snark – hint:the extra ones and exclamation points) to the amount of attention and focus on how strong/powerful/”above average” the storm supposedly was – not its financial or personal impact. The unobservant, such as you, missed the fact we were discussing flawed hurricane predictions – number and strength of storms, etc – and measurement of the strength of a storm, not in wind speed or such, but in where it lands.

            1. As an example, a hurricane season that consisted entirely of 15 Cat 1 storms that all made landfall precisely on top of a major metropolitan area would be a very WEAK season, despite the fact that the damages were in the thousands of lives and eleventy-trillions of dollars.

            2. So you were being a pendant 🙂 Point taken.

    2. Come to papa. Daddy needs some FEMA cash.

    3. It may not end up being above average, but it should get a participation trophy regardless.

  10. Gunman who held four firefighters hostage in Georgia is shot DEAD after SWAT team ends stand off with explosion

    Kidnap government employees and your death is a forgone conclusion.

    1. Yeah, you should really restrict it to rape and murder. Kidnapping is too risky and unrewarding.

  11. Dubai Police add ?300,000 Lamborghini to their fleet (because 0-60 in three seconds is just what they need for catching criminals)


    1. If you went from 0-60 you might have already crossed the entire UAE, yikes.

    2. You clearly haven’t seen The Last Stand.

    3. How long before one of the cops wrecks it because he can’t control the damn thing in first gear.

  12. Bras Make Breasts “Saggier”, 15-year French Study Reveals

    1. They had that on the DM but I couldn’t get the page to open.

      1. Just like a bra clasp.

    2. So Chuck Shumer wears a bra?

      1. God knows he could use a Manziere.

    3. This is a study bought and paid for by the powerful pasties lobby.

      I watched enough natural geographic growing up to know this study is BS.

    4. As any libertarian knows, providing artificial support for years tends to make things less resilient.

  13. Vogue’s new rules for models: Girls MUST eat, take breaks and work no longer than 10 hours a day


    1. Should have done this a while ago. I mean with enough airbrushing, you can make Warty look like vintage Kate Moss.

      1. “I mean with enough airbrushing, you can make Warty look like vintage Kate Moss.”

        That loud POP you heard was my brain imploding – thanks for that.

        1. I think you’d have better luck turning the photo over and staring with the blank side and a stick figure.

      2. +1 hollow laugh

    2. ” Girls MUST eat”

      but do they have to swallow and keep it down or can they spit/vomit it out before it gets digested?

  14. Wild leopard savages 15 people – including 3 policemen – after wandering into Kathmandu suburb

    Here kitty kitty!

    1. Serves them right for baiting it.

    2. Wild leopard wanders into Vogue photo shoot, savages 15 models, leaves hungry…

    3. Worse than a Massachusetts Bear.

      1. Andrew Sullivan mauls cops?

        1. Paul Blart mauls cops?

          1. +1 Segway.

          2. Just stop. Please.

          3. I see what you did there.

            Don’t ever do it again.

    4. Can we finally have a serious discussion about the leopard problem?

      1. We need common sense solutions to the threat of leopard violence. I submit that we force all leopards to register their claws and teeth. The pads on their feet make them too silent and easy to conceal, for here on out, padded feet will be illegal. Also, no leopard needs more than 10 spots. But the ones who currently have more than ten spots will quickly use them up each time they attach, leaving less spots to be had.

        1. “The pads on their feet make them too silent and easy to conceal, for here on out, padded feet will be illegal.”

          Maybe they could mandate attachment of those tap shoe metal bits?

          1. But then how would people distinguish them from the leopard honor guard?

          2. *checks historical records*

            Yes, tap shoes were around in the 1700s, so that technology will be allowed. However, velcro fasteners will not. They must be tied with string or leather straps.

            Now, on to the issue of those nasty concealed teeth. Any leopard found to be concealing their assault teeth without proper governmental permissions will be de-toothed and stripped of their right to grow new ones.

          3. All leepards must wear a caller with a bell on it.

            And we need a new division within fish and wildlife to hande the tagging, belling, and tracking of these dangerous animals.

      2. Is that anything like tight yoga pants?

        Oh, you said leopard problem, not leotard problem.

        1. There is no such thing as a ‘cameltoe problem’ anyway, at least as far as I am concerned.

          1. There is no such thing as a ‘cameltoe problem’ anyway, at least as far as I am concerned.

            I bet to differ…


            1. Moose knuckle, not cameltoe, example disallowed.

              1. Incorrect. Moose Knuckle refers to men wearing tight pants.


                1. Incorrect. Moose Knuckle refers to men wearing tight pants

                  Apparently there’s some disagreement on that. From your link:

                  3. Moose-Knuckle
                  Camel-toe’s fatter, uglier, sister.
                  Guy 1: See that chick’s camel-toe?

                  Guy 2: Camel-toe? Dude she was so fat she had a Moose-Knuckle!

                  4. moose-knuckle
                  An intensified camel-toe or kuder-cleavage.
                  Damn girl! Your kuder must be hungry ’cause you got moose-knuckle!

                  5. moose-knuckle
                  Large, Defined outline of the male/female package.
                  “Hey, you walkin, trim up that moose-knuckle!”

                  6. moose-knuckle
                  bearded clam
                  punani in full effect

                  7. moose-knuckle
                  see camel-toe

                  FYI, I think “kuder-cleavage” might the best euphamism for this I’ve seen in a long, long time. I’m going to have to start useing that one.

                  1. DAMMIT! That’ll teach me to post a link after just skimming the content.

                    Kuder-Cleavage is new to me and I likes it!

            2. You bastard! My eyes!

            3. Gah! I can’t unsee that! You dick!

              1. Hey, I didn’t force either of you bastards to click on that link. I simply offered a counterpoint to Restoras’s assertion that there is no such thing as a camel toe problem.

                THAT, most certainly is a problem. Hell, that may be an epidemic all by itself.

      3. CLEARLY these beasts are being driven from their natural habitat by AGW.

        The science is settled. Why do you hate the kitties?

      4. well coverage of it in the media has been rather spotty so more discussion could only help us sink out teeth into the issue

    5. Time to ban assault kittens

  15. The House Intelligence Committee approved CISPA, a controversial cybersecurity bill that will give the government broad(er) access to personal data.

    Those House Republicans, the last defense against Big Government.

    1. If you’ve done nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about.

      Except that I’ve been shovelspoofing seditious material from your Facebook account. Also I poisoned your fields in Farmville.

      1. I wondered what happened to my famed green thumb.

        1. I thought some anti-GMOs hacked it off because they thought it was caused by Monsanto.

      2. I wish I could salt the Farmville fields after burning them.

  16. Interactive: How the Obama budget stacks up against Paul Ryan’s

    The Republican plans would balance the budget over 10 years by cutting spending. Deficits remain under the Democratic plans, albeit lower than they would be under current policy.


    Government debt would continue to swell under the Obama and other Democratic proposals. It would level off under the House proposal and drop under the more conservative plan.

    charts in link.

    1. In other news, the American Conservative Union demonstrates why the conservatives are so much better than the liberals on reining in spending. If only those nasty Tea Party folks would recognize that some welfare spending is the good kind of welfare spending. The good kind of welfare spending being defined as the kind of welfare spending you personally can make a buck off of.

      FY, CS.

    2. Notice how they don’t have charts showing the year-to-year spending amounts. That makes its easier to hide the huge increases in same.

  17. Before Meeting Syrian Opposition, Kerry Says U.S. Is Considering More Support

    Mr. Kerry said that the Obama administration still favored a diplomatic solution in which President Bashar al-Assad would hand over power to a transitional government, but that additional pressure on the Syrian leader was needed.

    “The problem is you can’t get there if President Assad is unwilling to decide that he should transfer that authority, and that’s the current situation,” Mr. Kerry said. “So we are left with no choice but to try to find ways to get him to think differently about what lies in the future.”

    1. I seem to recall putting the 82d in planes headed towards Haiti made Raoul Cedras reconsider his plans for the future. I certainly hope that’s not what Kerry means.

  18. Amazing DHS grace.

    You can even thank the Primary POC personally!

  19. Obama’s drone war kills ‘others,’ not just al Qaida leaders

    “It has to be a threat that is serious and not speculative,” President Barack Obama said in a Sept. 6, 2012, interview with CNN. “It has to be a situation in which we can’t capture the individual before they move forward on some sort of operational plot against the United States.”

    Copies of the top-secret U.S. intelligence reports reviewed by McClatchy, however, show that drone strikes in Pakistan over a four-year period didn’t adhere to those standards.

    The intelligence reports list killings of alleged Afghan insurgents whose organization wasn’t on the U.S. list of terrorist groups at the time of the 9/11 strikes; of suspected members of a Pakistani extremist group that didn’t exist at the time of 9/11; and of unidentified individuals described as “other militants” and “foreign fighters.”

  20. MAAAAATT DAAAAAAMON stars in class warfare commie bullshit sci-fi movie, Elysium. It’s like the liberal version of Atlas Shrugged, except with production values!

    1. Elysium: a giant monocle in space.

      1. I hated it the first time, when it was called Avatar.

        1. Which was the same anti-korperashun bullshit found in Alien(s).

          KORPERASHUNS want the end civilization because, profit.

    2. Taking a glance at the plot summary online, it looks like yet another exploration of various people’s inability to understand that healthcare, particularly in an industrial civilization, does not fall like manna from heaven but is a man-made value and thusly limited and impossible to obtain “by right” unless you’re using a gun. Like Matt Damon is in that Youtube still.

      Last thing I saw Damon in was some “hunger awareness” ad where he talked about your “coworkers” possibly going hungry. Uh huh. Put that on the shelf next to the food desert and poor people are so fat pearlclutchery.

    3. From the Wikipedia entry on the movie:

      The film will explore political themes such as “immigration, health care and class issues”.

      Yep. Heller’s story checks out.

    4. Too damn bad. I liked District 9, it wasn’t overly preachy. This looks like OWS in space.

    5. MAAAAATT DAAAAAAMON stars in class warfare commie bullshit sci-fi movie, Elysium. It’s like the liberal version of Atlas Shrugged, except with production values!

      You really don’t need to go any further than “class warfare commie bullshit”. And of course it has production values: it’s class warfare commie bullshit, which means Hollywood is fully behind it.

  21. Obama has performance review with his bosses today. Good luck Barry.

    1. With Valerie and David by his side I’m sure he’ll do just fine.

  22. Thatcher Was Right: A Dependent Society Will Fail

    The courage to confront the unions and their big government enablers, to stem Britain’s decline into socialism, took guts ? the kind that’s rare in the United States today. Our country is slip sliding towards mediocrity in much the same way Britain did in the 1970s.

    More and more of our policy decisions are driven not by what’s best for the U.S. but rather what’s best for politicians who chase after voting blocks like hounds on the scent and whose favors are often for sale to the highest bidder. The efficiency of markets has been sidelined for the inefficiencies of K Street loyalties and central planning.

    1. hasn’t more than one non-liberal Brit warned us that the US is where the UK used to be, and that doing the same things will not lead to a different result?

    2. I was talking about this with one of my coworkers on our way back from lunch. All these liberal assholes want to make our country like Europe with their ‘free’ healthcare and all the other BS. Why don’t they move to Europe or all these other wonderful lands of socialism that they love so much? Why do they have to impose that shit on us? People have fled those countries to get away from that nonsense, and we are trying to erect that crap here. Those refugees lament the fact that we are turning into the places they fled. We are one of the last bastions of freedom in this world, and the statist bastards want to take it away from us. No more! They need to go to those countries they love so much and leave us the hell alone!

      1. I went to business school with a woman who emmigrated from Russia. I have yet to meet anyone who despised Democrats, liberals, and socialism more vehemently.

        1. she already sounds more American than the socialists in this country

          1. Haha, looks like we were thinking the same thing.

        2. Some of my best friends are immigrants from former communist/socialist countries. Naturalized or not they’re truer Americans than most of the native-born.

          1. It’s very difficult to appreciate true freedom if you haven’t lived under the yoke of tyranny.

        3. Most Russians I’ve met, especially the ones old enough to remember what life was actually like under communism, despise socialism more than anyone I’ve ever seen. Other than maybe Cubans. Funny that.

      2. Its because they believe their loyalty to the cause will be paid back with the fruit of others when they get their way.

        They’ve lived in a (sort of) free society for long enough to know their own ambition and effort isn’t enough to take care of themselves.

        1. Statism is a disease that is always hungry. It is NEVER satisfied. It always wants more power and more control. It abhors the thought that someone, somewhere might be living life of freedom. It cannot tolerate a free society. It must spread its infection everywhere until we are all consumed by it. But it will continue to feed until there is nothing left to feed upon, and it has either consumed itself into oblivion, or we have all perished.

      3. Don’t forget the bloody-minded egalitarianism angle, where equally distributed misery is the goal.

        1. Not for the elites though. After all, they earned it by the virtue they are doing all the “heavy lifting” to make sure everyone else is equally miserable…

      4. Change a few words there and you could be talking about the refugees from California fleeing into the neighboring states and immediately turning them into California.

        1. California has its good things. So people that leave there assume that by enacting some of the socialist crap that was in California, they can have the same thing too in the areas they fled too. Unfortunately, they will end up with the same BS they had in California and none of the benefits.

          And sometimes, depending on yourself is just too hard.

          1. Mere socialism will not, contrary to popular opinion, turn your landlocked mountain state into a sunny coastal paradise. Only a true revolution of the working class can accomplish such marvels.

            Forward, comrades!

      5. They need to go to those countries they love so much and leave us the hell alone!

        I definitely agree with you wholeheartedly, but the mindset of most statists here in America is “if you love _____ so much, why don’t you move there!” So they think the same thing, but rather than see that America used to be more free (in regards to drugs, manufacturing, business, you name it), they only see what it’s been like in their lifetimes and assume we want to take them back into the dark ages.

        My girlfriend is a prime example of this, unfortunately. When I bring up how ridiculous the War on Drugs is and how countries like Portugal have completely decriminalized drugs, she throws up her hands and says “Why don’t you move to Portugal then?”

  23. The House Intelligence Committee approved CISPA, a controversial cybersecurity bill that will give the government broad(er) access to personal data.

    This bill allows the government to call the IRS?

  24. Give Monogamy a Chance
    Students, who in class recognize the ethical imperative not to use other people as means to an end, do so every night in their dorms.

    According to various academic studies, 65% to 75% of undergraduates report having participated in the hookup culture. But many are troubled by it. In a survey that Ms. Freitas gave to 1,010 students from Catholic and secular institutions, around 50% had reservations about whether casual sex is acceptable. Three quarters of the respondents objected to the notion, central to the hookup culture, that “sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.” And contrary to depictions in popular culture, men are just as troubled by casual sex as women are.

    So why do they do it? Social pressure plays a large role. But there is something else. College students may not be lusting after sex so much as they are chasing after relationships. In our wider culture, where more and more interactions are occurring via text messages, Facebook, Twitter and email rather than face-to-face or at the very least on the phone, students are yearning for meaningful connections. Hooking up offers an immediate substitute for the relationships and romance that young people admit they want, but without the constraints and sacrifices that authentic relationships require.

    1. “sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.”

      That’s a weird thing to say. How do you take pleasure from another person?

      Is this another case of people who think that everything is zero-sum?

      1. if you’re taking someone else’s pleasure, aren’t you doing it wrong? Last I checked, there was some giving of pleasure involved.

      2. Strange it is. Should be “with” or “in” another person.

        1. Or “in front of”…”while they laugh at you”…

          …”and throw unspeakable things at you”…

      3. It’s the same antagonistic viewpoint as “rape culture” and Dworkin’s nonsense. Sex is never between two individuals, but is rather a predator class attacking a victim class. There is never a give and take of pleasure, but only a taker and a one who is taken from in modal isolation from one another.

        1. It’s almost enough to make you think they’ve never had sex.

          1. Well I guess if they’re unimaginative in the sack and lay their like a board, its understandable why they would assume they’re just a victim in the act.

            1. But it sounds like he doesn’t think you should think you’re the victim, but the victimizer. So whatever sex he’s had has been good for him and bad for the other person.

            2. hey, you’re talking about one of my exs there

        2. The ironic thing is that they assume the giver is always the taker.

      4. Vatch…as she takes ze pleasure from ze serpent…

    2. Three quarters of the respondents objected to the notion, central to the hookup culture, that “sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.”

      What hookup culture is that notion central to?

      1. The one he’s built in his head over years and years of being angry that no girl would give him the time of day.

        1. And now no girl who has read that column ever will. Selfish fucker.

          1. Selfish fucker

            Quite literally, apparently.

        2. I bet he thought when he became a professor that finally – finally! – attractive young coeds would be swooning at his feet in order to secure a good grade. Unfortunately the rampant grade inflation has eliminated that perk and you can’t give a double-4.0.

          1. or OR! its happening more than ever, hence the grade inflation, and he’s now REALLY pissed about not getting any.

      2. As someone who has only been out of college for 4-years, I would say that even though this bloke’s whining is pretty pedantic, there can be a lot of social pressure to have a lot of one-nighters.

        That said, social pressure is present in almost every aspect of life and this guy needs to understand that applies to sex too even if it makes him upset.

        1. there can be a lot of social pressure to have a lot of one-nighters.

          Oh, I’m not disputing that, but in my experience the people doing it think they’re both having fun.

          1. Yeah, but you’re a harlot, so we can’t trust anything you say.

        2. there can be a lot of social pressure to have a lot of one-nighters.

          I didn’t feel that at all. There were some people that did that a lot, but there was never any “Auric, what are you doing with that same girl still? Get out there and bang some randoms!”

          1. I got it from chick friends, for sure. I mean how do you think I ended up being a total whore? PEER PRESSUREZ

            1. Men aren’t your peers, nicole. It is the patriarchy, not “peer pressure”.

              1. No no, it was women who were saying this. It was “not normal” to be in a relationship when you were “supposed to be” out banging a different person every night.

                1. I’m aware that you think it was the women who who telling you this. They probably think they were the ones saying it too. But the pressure wasn’t really from them. They were just tools of men.

    3. RTFA – Read the Fucking Article

      Can we come up with an acronym for “Briefly Peruse the Article to Determine the Author’s Gender Before Engaging in Ad Hominem Attacks Based on the Author’s Gender”?

    1. There is a whole new sort of group of individuals now who – I don’t know what the numbers are – that never get abortions at all…

    2. Or they participate in IDPA or three gun or other practical shooting. But that’s not a real sport, it’s terrorist training or something.

      1. You’d think DVC stands for “Deviant Vicious Criminal” the way these assholes demonize us.

    3. uh duh…

      I also like having a car with more power than I need. I also like owning more land than I could possibly use. And going to a restaurant that serves more food than I could possibly eat.

      Shooting is fun – even hitting targets with a little .22 rifle brings out the competitive spirit in me.

      1. I had a Marlin semi-auto .22 when I was a kid. Plinking with that was just so much fun.

      1. My thoughts exactly. So he owns a gun just because he wants to. What’s the problem?

    4. “But they own guns for one of two reasons, self-protection or they just like the feel of that AR-15 at the range.”

      Practice makes perfect.

    5. Yeah, silly me for wanting to own guns even though I don’t like hurting animals.

  25. Another outstanding article from Detlev Schlicter, this time taking on central bank idiocy, Japan, and the myth of the deflationary death spiral.
    It’s official: Global economic policy now firmly in the hands of money cranks

    Those commentators who tell us that this ‘crippling deflation’ is hurting the economy because people postpone spending decisions in anticipation of lower prices, want us to believe that Mr. and Mrs. Watanabe don’t buy a new popup toaster for ?3,930 this year because ? at a 0.6 percent p.a. deflation rate ? they can reasonably assume that it will only cost ?3,906 to buy the same toaster next year. And they won’t even buy it next year at ?3,906 because the year after that it will only cost ?3,883. The Watanabes would thus be able to save ?47 over two years by not eating any toast (and it goes without saying that they may save considerably more by never eating toast!). This is a saving of ? wait for it! ? $0.47 or ?0.31 (at present exchange rates) for postponing the purchase of a standard consumption item for two years ? 730 mornings without toast!

    1. ‘crippling deflation’

      Oh for fuck sake. really? OH NOES! Our money is becoming more valuable… what ever shall we do?

      Ok, step 1: LOCK THIS SHIT DOWN!!
      Step 2: PRINT ALL THE MONEY!!!!
      Step 3: inflation.

      Whew. Couldn’t have those savings accounts increase in value. We might have to start taxing the balances if people got too wealthy.

      1. The real danger of deflation for the establishment is that if money gets more valuable just sitting there, you don’t need banks and they won’t be able to keep track of how much you have.

    2. I disproved the deflationary death spiral concept years ago:

      Q: Have we ever failed to come out of a deflationary period?
      A: No.

      Concept disproved by counterexample. In fact all of them, as it never happens.

      1. How do you know that isn’t what got the dinosaurs?

        How about that, hmm, smartguy?

      2. Consumer tech has been in a deflationary death spiral for years now.

        I still dream about the technology that was wiped out as a result. “Remember those pretentious dickweeds and their precious iPhones? I’d kill to have them back.”

        1. I miss the good old Atari, Sega 16 and NEC TurboGrafx.

  26. Has anyone ever believed the IRS is subject to Constitutional restraints?

    The IRS is what other government agencies want to be when they grow up.

    1. Well, the IRS is unconstitutional in and of itself, so no.

      1. Pretty sure the 16th amendment, combined with necessary and proper clause, makes it constitutional.

        1. Although the requirement to calculate your own taxes is a violation of the 13th Amendment.

          1. You are compensated. Not going to jail is compensation. Get with the program serf…er…I mean citizen.

            1. Citizen don’t serf!

              Ima make that a bumper sticker.

              1. Serfs Down!

          2. and the 5th

    2. “They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want.”

  27. Goat’s head delivered to Wrigley

    “And the Soup of the Day is ….”

    1. They are doin’ it wrong. They should have had the headless goat placed in Theo’s bed. Cripes, its like these people have never seen The Godfather or something.

      1. What does Cliff Huxtable’s son have to do with the Cubs’ curse?

        1. Never. Do. That. Ever. Again.

  28. what happened to RC Dean? Vacation? Real work?

    1. Didn’t he say he was moving? Maybe busy with that.

      1. Maybe he went to rescue Groovus Maximus?

          1. Now I’m picturing Dr. Groovus insisting on facing peril as RC drags him away.

  29. “Small banks that received TARP loans from the feds repayed the money with money from another federal program meant to boost lending to small businesses, says a government watchdog.”

    Just a small addition, it always bugs me when they say someone [repaid] TARP money–because it makes it sound like all’s well that ends well…

    Fact is, when they say someone repaid TARP, they mean they gave the money back to the government–but that money didn’t come from the government. It was raised through the sale of treasuries (most of them with a ten year maturity), which means the money is money ultimately comes out of the taxpayers’ pockets.

    The government hasn’t retired any ten year treasuries with the TARP money that’s been supposedly “paid back”. They respent every dime that was “paid back” and more–mostly on stimulus. The government hasn’t given us a $700 billion tax break to pay back the taxpayers…

    In other words, not only has the principal on TARP not been “paid back” to the taxpayers who are paying for it–the principal hasn’t even come out of the taxpayers’ paychecks yet. We won’t pay for it until sometime after those treasuries mature in 2018–unless the government actually slashes spending by $700 billion or so before then.

    Having spent the TARP money that was “paid back” is one of the reasons why Barack Obama is one of America’s most horrible people.

    1. Because that’s what I was so upset about?

      It wasn’t that I was being forced to bailout both Wall Street and the UAW with my future paychecks–oh no…

      I was just upset that the fucking government wasn’t getting their money back?!

    2. Dude, most people can’t figure their change at McDonald’s. The idea that the populace is going to wake up and realize that the Feds are burning their money in a big pit in Arizona is a pipe dream.

      1. Well, it isn’t gonna happen if nobody calls out the jokers every time they say someone paid TARP back.

        Where’s my check? Did it get lost in the mail?

        They didn’t pay me back!

        That muthafucka in the White House used my future income to bailout the fucking UAW…

        And I want every. freaking. penny. back now!

      2. One of the things that drives me crazy is when I go to a store and the total comes out to something like $1.86 and I give then $2.11 so I can get a quarter in change instead of my pocket filling up with pennies, and the cashier reacts like I just performed some amazing magic trick.

      3. Wouldn’t we actually be better off if the Feds would just burn money in a big pit in AZ?

        1. That’s what I was thinking.

  30. “sex is primarily the taking of pleasure from another person.”

    Wait, what?

    1. This would explain my first girlfriend’s technique.

        1. Feel the *POP*, more like.

        2. No, the teeth…

            1. That’s what safe-words are for…


  31. Oh, yeah, BTW I’ll be at Knob Creek on Friday looking for all the deals on cheap ammo that will be sure to he had. I have a feeling the only thing worth buying there this spring will be a t-shirt.

    1. Knob Creek the distillery?

      1. Whiskey and ammo sounds like fun to me.

        1. http://www.knobcreekrange.com/…..-gun-shoot

          I forgot that was this week-end. If you’ve got hundreds of dollars to burn, you can shoot M2 .50 Cal or maybe a mini-gun at old cars and refrigerators.

          And you’re right db, There are probably few deals to be had.

          1. I’m not even bothering to bring my MGs, as ammo is bound to be pricey.

    1. At least the comments are genuinely amusing.

      1. Is this peak crazy?

        1. Oh, be nice. They’re actually talking about something real. That gets points–I mean, the bar is low here.

          1. They’re talking, as far as I can tell from mousing over the link, about studying their own poop.

            What the actual fuck?

            1. They’re talking about what you can tell about your health/the health of your diet from your poop, yeah. Pretty basic but a far cry from rape culture.

            2. It’s not a bad idea. I don’t spend a lot of time examining poop, but I generally take a quick look.

              1. I can usually tell without looking. Just sayin’. Although, the mechanics of most toilets make it where you have to go out of your way NOT to at least, as you say, take a quick look.

                Also I have one of those guys like in The Last Emporer that does it for me.

                1. Does what? Takes your dump for you, or examines it for you?

                  1. I don’t know what version of The Last Emporer you saw…

            3. The most underrated thing in the world is a good dump.

              1. And yet whenever I mention anal y’all all freak out.

                1. Who freaks out about anal? I still find it difficult to believe there are guys out there that don’t like doing anal.

                  1. Me too but it’s usually good for a few “eww, gross, that’s a one-way street” comments, even in this cesspool.

                    1. I always laughed at the “eww, icky stuff comes out of there” argument… Uhh, have you ever seen the stuff that comes out of a vagina??

                      I mean, KIDS come out of there. What could be more disgusting than that. 😉

                    2. Uhh, have you ever seen the stuff that comes out of a vagina??

                      For reals. Not to mention peeing with your dick! Eww!

                    3. It’s ridiculous, the entire concept of sex of any type is a dirty, filthy endeavor.

                    4. I don’t particularly like anal, not because it is gross but frankly because it doesn’t feel as good and takes too much work.

                      I’d much rather just spend 45 minutes going down on her

                  2. Who freaks out about anal? I still find it difficult to believe there are guys out there that don’t like doing anal.

                    What is hard to understand about buttholes being gross? If I wouldn’t touch it with my mouth I’m not touching it with my penis either.

                    1. Blood, urine, rotting uterine lining and several other nasty substances come out of the vagina. Do you have a problem with vaginas because of that? I’m guessing you don’t, but you would like the vagina to be clean. Why can that not be the case for an anus?

                    2. I also don’t understand your “if I wouldn’t touch it with my mouth I’m not touching it with my penis either” issue.

                      Why? you can’t taste with your penis, so flavor isn’t it. Your penis can’t ingest things. Your penis serves a completely different function than your mouth. How does sticking one somewhere equate to the other?

                    3. Got it. You like poop. That’s weird, but fine; I don’t really care. But it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out why some people find it gross. I don’t mind putting my mouth on a vagina, but I can still understand why someone might think it was gross and not want to do it.

                    4. No, I do not like poop. Just the same as I don’t like urine, blood, uterine lining, etc… HENCE, why I put that little word in there… wait, which one was it… oh yeah CLEAN!

                      I just find it absurd that you’re ok with a orifice that has multiple types of nasty substances come out of it, but the poop hole is too too icky. Clean it up, and it’s a wonderful cavern of pleasure.

                      But, if you want to deny yourself that kind of pleasure for the sake of infantile aversions, so be it.

                    5. “Clean” it up, and it’s still an asshole.

                      But, if you want to deny yourself that kind of pleasure for the sake of infantile aversions, so be it.

                      And so are you.

                    6. So what is your actual aversion to assholes then if not the dirty part? If you clean it up, it’s no longer dirty. It’s just a warm, tight, fleshy hole that feels better than the other hole.

                      Look man, if you don’t like buttsecks, fine. But at least be honest about why you don’t like it. Claiming it’s because icky stuff comes out of there is disingenuous at best. Icky stuff comes out of EVERY hole in the human body at some point. So are you celibate? I doubt it.

                      But please, don’t try to claim it’s because it’s dirty even when it’s not dirty. Don’t claim I like poop because I like anal. And I won’t call you infantile. Deal?

                    7. Ok, let’s not avoid the real issue here, guys. If you’re into anal, chances are the real reason is so that you can avoid looking at that icky vagina and just pretend you’re fucking somebody with a penis.

                    8. Yeah, I’ve heard that one before too… “You like anal? What are you, gay?” Uh, no… I like anal WITH WOMEN. I’ll leave the gay butsecks to Jesse.

                    9. But there is SO MUCH GAY BUTSECKS TO BE HAD. I am only one man.

                      Not that that will stop me from trying my best.

                    10. Get that funky butt lovin!

                      I’m not saying everyone who doesn’t like buttsecks is homophobic, but I’ve heard the “buttsecks is for fags” argument so so many times. I just shake my head anymore.

                      It’s the same as the finger up the butt thing. Personally, not a fan of it. Doesn’t mean that trying it made me gay, does it?

                2. Well, I mean, are you for it or again’ it?

                  Actually, never mind, either answer will make me freak out.

                  1. Me? All for it.

                    1. So, uh, how’s it going and stuff?

                    2. I have a friend who confided in me that his wife wants to try it but he’s a little grossed out. I told him to make sure she cleans up beforehand and take it slowly and there’s nothing but pleasure ahead. If she’s into it and you’re clean and careful, it is no different (apart from the way it feels) from vaginal sex.

  32. what happened to RC Dean? Vacation? Real work?

    Overthrowing the Venezuelan government?

    I’ve got my fingers crossed.

    1. He must be on vacation.

    2. Do you think he’ll grant us all citizenship for free?

    3. RC Dean is Venezuelan?

      1. he will be once he starts his reign of libertarian terror.

        1. reign of libertarian terror.


    4. I think he’s gone on a Taken style vengeance trip.

      “I will find you… and I will sue you.”

    1. My biggest problem with the whole damn situation is, why didn’t they give him the “bigger and better-looking camel” in the first place?!

    2. So the farmer’s farm was damaged by French tanks so the French president gives the farmer a camel with an extra mouth to feed to raise for the president and the farmer misunderstands and feeds the camel to his family?

      Sounds less like a misunderstanding and more like a justifiable F.U. from the farmer.

  33. With a little luck enough Big Gulps will help the young lady in the image to develop some breasts.

    1. Can’t have that, then the patriarchy would have converted another young girl to accepting the rape culture of desire that has ruined our young strong women.

  34. Despite a court order to the contrary, the IRS has apparently been spying on emails without obtaining warrants first.

    Warrants? We don’t need to steenking warrants!

  35. That chick in the picture is way too skinny to be drinking a Big Gulp. Only fatties with no self control who need the kind benevolent hand of their betters drink Big Gulps. Nanny Bloomie says so, so it must be true.

  36. Just did my taxes. Looks like I have a 500 dollar refund coming. So I’m either going to put it towards a new gaming rig or a new gun.

    1. New gun!

      1. You can get a new gen XBOX or go on a 2 year waiting list, plus up to 3 rounds to load it with when it finally ships.

        1. I vote learn how to build an AK from a receiver flat.

      2. Gaming rig! (I assume you mean PC. Because if you meant console, then buy the gun, and use it on yourself!)

        1. Dude, glorious PC gaming master race.

          1. Phew. Although honestly, I’m not looking forward to anything coming out anytime soon enough to upgrade right now.

            1. BF4 is coming out within the year. And I have played that franchise with the same group of guys for like…seven years? eight?

              It’s a day one buy for me.

    2. Oof, that’s a tough choice.

      How old is your current gaming rig? If it’s old enough, I’d say go with that. If it’s adequate, buy a gun. You can never have too many guns.

      1. I really need a new one though. I have case, power supply, data drives. Would just need to buy new mobo, RAM, SSD, and CPU. Which I hope I can get for not much more then 500. Might need a new GFX card too.

        1. That’s doable for under $500 if you’re building it yourself and don’t mind tech that’s a few paces behind SOA. Where do you usually get your parts from?

          1. NewEgg usually. Although Amazon undercut them on the pricing of my processor three years ago.

            1. Awesome. I rarely buy all the components from once source. NewEgg is usually one of the major suppliers of parts for me, but I always check around for RAM and HDDs. MoBos and Video cards don’t vary that much in price and processors are usually about the same too, but RAM and HDDs can be half the cost at another site.

              1. Yeah I’ll be sure to shop around for RAM. I really want an SSD though, for mounting the OS and the games. What’s a good size and price point?

                1. A good size? Whatever she tells you is…

                  I haven’t purchased an SSD yet because of the price. It’s down to less than a dollar a Gig, so prices have dropped significantly. I’d say go with one that’s large enough to install your OS and a few of your favorite games on.

                  Given your limited budget for the computer, you can either go with a small SSD and then a larger HDD for storage, or you can get a few standard HDDs and stripe them together for faster access.

                  I went with a nice 1TB stripped raid system using standard drives. It’s fat enough and didn’t cost an arm and a leg.

        2. I did a nice upgrade in late 2011 for $500. Mobo, 8 GB RAM, an SSD and i5-2500k. Naturally, the improved processors are available at the same price, and SSDs continue to drop.

          And I’m also getting $500 in rebates. But I should be getting it right as I go on vacation, so that’s where it’ll probably be spent.

    3. Refund? What’s that?

      Haha, seriously though, put your money towards whatever will give you more long term satisfaction. I don’t own any guns (although I want to), but I get a lot of stress off my back by popping Fallout 3, Call of Duty, or FIFA 13 into my PS3 after work.

      Popping off some rounds at the shooting range can be pretty satisfying as well though.

  37. Huh. The “economics reporter” on Bloomberg is talking about Bitcoin, right now. You’ll never guess what he doesn’t like about it.

    Hint: there is no provision for infinite expansion of the Bitcoin money supply by Top Men.

  38. Those dudes really do seem to know whats going on. Wow.


  39. At the farm, it’s a sure sign of spring now that the rooster is racing around the yard banging hens. They bend over to get a worm and the worm gets them, so to speak. Roosters are shameless little STEVE SMITHs.

  40. I listened to a few minutes of Morning Joke today. They were having a serious conversation about gunz; with the Vice President, miscellaneous assorted nodders, and some cop dressed up like an admiral (What would really have made that outfit pop? One of those three-foot-diameter Russian General hats.).

    Content? None. Merely a rousing chorus of “wouldn’t it be nice” hypotheticals and a lot of

    “You’re awesome!”

    “No, YOU”RE awesome!”


    1. What would really have made that outfit pop? One of those three-foot-diameter Russian General hats.

      He should go the North Korean route and invent so many medals that he has to start pinning them to his pants.

  41. http://deslide.clusterfake.net…..87,00.html

    50 fatty meals from the fifty states.

    1. Florida, the home of Grunts ‘n’ Grits AND the conch fritter, gets freaking empanadas?

      Where’s my smashing hammer?

    2. Indiana’s nod: Brain burger from my namesake.

      Shit isn’t bad, frankly. But it’s certainly a once-a-year type of thing.

    3. I’m all for bacon wrapped meatloaf.

    4. Really? All Kentucky got was a KFC food item? They’ve never even been to the state, have they?

    5. Ha, I knew NY would be the Garbage Plate. My cousin keeps trying to get me to go out for one anytime I visit family out there.

    6. That Eskimo ice cream looks sooo paleo.

  42. http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_n…..again?lite


    Steve Benen has been attacking Rand Paul for “brazenly lying” about always supporting the 1964 Civil Rights Act during his speech yesterday at Howard University.

    What Benen is apparently not understanding (or brazenly being dishonest about?) is that Paul never said he would have voted against the CRA. All he ever did was answer a hypothetical about his discomfort with 1/9th of the provisions of the CRA.

    1. What Benen is apparently not understanding (or brazenly being dishonest about?)

      He’s not understanding that any percieved chance to take a shot at Rand is a good career move for him.

      Pretty simple

      1. It’s a good thing that a legacy media outlet covered this, with its vast resources and fact-checkers and everything. Wouldn’t want any of those sleazy irresponsible bloggers hogging all the action.

    2. Interesting that all of this stems from a goofy, hypothetical, “Libertarians are Dangerous Ideologues!!!!” exchange between Maddow and Rand Paul on her show. It’s almost as if the show’s writers purposely concocted this storyline in case Rand decided to run for president.

      1. You know who else was a dangerous ideologue?

        1. MLK Jr.?

  43. That our government would even consider enacting “sensible” and “reasonable” gun regulation is exactly why we have the Second Amendment.

    1. why do you hate children?

      1. Have you spent any time around the annoying little fucks?

    2. Nobody seriously believes ‘Congress shall make no law’ literally means ‘Congress shall make no law’, it obviously means ‘Congress shall make no unreasonable law’.

      Well, nobody serious seriously believes that, anyway. There was that crackpot James Madison who explicitly said ‘Congress shall make no law’ means ‘Congress shall make no law’, but how the hell would he know what the author of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights meant by ‘Congress shall make no law’?

  44. Biden did mention, on Morning Joke, the President’s awesome new brain mapping project. Apparently (given infinite funding and a generous dose of magic-wand-waving) we will soon be able to conclusively determine who’s crazy and who isn’t.

    I envision a process in which the “test subject” goes, or is delivered by cheerful and friendly Public Health technicians, to the government clinic to be scanned. He sits under a plexiglass globe much like the ones you see in a hair salon, only with a red and a green light on top. You can fill in the blanks from there.

    1. I’m only 26, you guys scare the poop out of me every day.

      This could be my future, mostly because I hate artificial authority.


      1. cryofreeze yourself until after the great collapse

        -j. cord

    2. I’ve worked on some brain-mapping stuff. He’s full of shit. This is just funneling some more cash to the NIH of NSF to give to professors, his core voters.

      1. but they’ll claim it’s science and use it to enact all sorts of crazy laws and regulations that will continue to siphon away our freedoms.

    3. “You brain scan is complete and the results have been analyzed. Please report immediately to disintegration booth #25.”

  45. Small banks that received TARP loans from the feds repaid the money with money from another federal program meant to boost lending to small businesses, says a government watchdog. Yes, it’s like Ouroboros, but stupider.

    There’s this amazingly stupid guy who has the same name as me, and thinks my email address is his email address. He likes to get payday loans, because he’s stupid, and so every couple weeks I get an email from the payday loan people confirming the loan. Lately, because he’s really stupid, he’s started getting payday loans to pay off his payday loans. I should track him down and let him know he’s so stupid that he’s qualified for high office.

  46. Florida, the home of Grunts ‘n’ Grits

    Still talking about poop?

  47. Dentata is real

    Beaver Bites Man To Death In Belarus Attack

  48. “…Merchants of Death at Planned Parenthood…”


    1. Sorry, this was in response to Matrix above.

  49. Another bad law based on a dead child
    Mother of a murdered teen pushes for laws mandating cell phone carriers release information to law enforcement.

    Yes, I’m a fucking monster because I don’t support compelling cell phone carriers to give up information just because the police deem something an emergency.

    1. “It would not have saved Kelsey’s life,” Missey Smith said of the law she is advocating, “But it would have saved us four days of agony not knowing where our child was.”

      So, this law would have been just as effective in her case as the new background checks law would have been on Adam Lanza.

    2. If you dig into the example they cite of one of the bill’s success stories, they pinged the cell phone of a suspected kid-toucher


  50. He’s full of shit.

    You know that; I know that. Unfortunately, the mouth-breathing dolts who comprise the vast majority of the MSNBC target market will smile and nod, and say, “That would be awesome!” In the interim, we get three person review panels staffed by pinchfaced scolds who look like they were snatched right out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

  51. First Bloomberg or ayone else who tries to decide what another person can have to eat or drink is wrong. Eash individual decides for themself. That is an individual right guaranteed by our Constituition. Next to say that people below the poverty line are more likely to be obese than tose who well above it is likely a true statement but not just because of sugary drinks. It’s because of their total diet and lack of mobility. The foods they eat are not bnutritious but are the foods the money they have will purchase and the need to make their incomes stretch as far as they will go. Sometimes like the rubber band they break. People like Bloomberg have never been there and do not know what it is like. I noted though he did not allow control of the alcoholic drinks and they are worse for a person. So Why Not ? Contrary to opinions Bloomberg is not his brothers keeper. And most people would appreciate being left alone and allowed to decide for themselves regardless of consequences.

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