Obama Still Silent on Pot Legalization, Small Businesses Take Down 'Help Wanted' Signs, Florida Targets Bongs: P.M. Links

• 

  Credit: smokershighlife | Foter.com | CC BY-NC-SA

  What's the Obama Administration's position on the legalization of marijuana in Colorado and Washington State? It's been months and we still don't know.

• Small business owners are pessimistic about the state of the economy and aren't hiring right now.
• The Florida legislature is pondering a bill prohibiting the sale of bongs, because they're really just not paying attention.
• There are rumors that Dick Cheney's daughter, Liz, may consider running for Senate in Colorado.
• Police arrested a man for pulling out a BB gun as President Barack Obama's motorcade passed nearby in Connecticut following a speech on gun control.
• An earthquake measuring magnitude 6.3 struck near Iran's sole nuclear power station. That Stuxnet virus has really evolved!

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

It’s been months and we still don’t know.

The best special interest hasn’t been determined yet.

[Episiarch]

They’re still waiting for a significant enough “donation” to determine that.

[Rich]

Soon.

It just *seems* like it’s been months, you know ….

[a better weapon]

Austin, TX is chosen to get Google Fiber next, after Kansas City

My Cali tech buddies are perplexed as to why they haven’t chosen a California city yet. Actual quote in response to the linking of this article on FB: “So lame that it hasn’t been made available in any worthwhile city or state.”

The elitist mentality of your average Californian cannot be overstated.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Apparently AT&T announced a “nice monopoly you got there, shame if someone else was to come in and force us to both lose money” plan for Austin as well. Not clear if they mean it or are trying to make the ROI calculations look bad for future Google expansions.

[A Serious Man]

I like Google Fiber, good for the digestion.

[Tim]

“Fiber net” sounds like internet for old people.

[db]

Don’t forget to run your Norton Prune Scan daily!

[SugarFree]

Poop!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Small business owners are pessimistic about the state of the economy and aren’t hiring right now.

Is pessimistic the same as racist? I think it is.

[db]

That’s racistic!

[A Serious Man]

Police arrested a man for pulling out a BB gun as President Barack Obama’s motorcade passed nearby in Connecticut following a speech on gun control.

For all he knows, it could have been a fully automatic BB gun!

[Episiarch]

Have you seen the magazine capacity on those things?!?

[Zeb]

I’ve got one that holds like 500 rounds. Of course, you have to remember exactly the right angle to hold the thing at and just the right way to shake it to load each one. But I could kill 500 extremely patient squirrels with it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Republicans have been blocking numerous bills that would have prevented this.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

At least it wasn’t a paint gun. That would have been racist.

[Rich]

Or a bubble gun. That would have been gay.

[Tim]

“You’ll shoot yer eye out kid!”

[Cdr Lytton]

No one is allowed to be armed in the presence of the king.

[wakeup]

Fox shuts down anyone selling a Jayne hat

[Episiarch]

Well it’s true that if a man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything. Including Fox.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Damn straight.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

As to whether you can copyright a simply patterned hat, that argument is ongoing.

As a knitter looking at a picture of that hat, I’m going to have to say the answer should definitely be “hells no.”

[$park?]

The obvious answer will be to just arrest anyone wearing an orange knit cap with ear flaps.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

That’s pretty much what you’d have to do.

[Francisco d Anconia]

They can have my Jayne hat when they pry it from my around my cold dead ears.

[Episiarch]

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT NICOLE BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT ARRGGHHHHHHH

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I just read an article about how part of the thing is it’s supposed to be handmade with love and that jazz. AS A KNITTER I UNDERSTAND THIS. There is love in every stitch, yo!

[CE]

Artisanal knit caps, of course.

[Episiarch]

Do. Not. Encourage. Her.

[jesse.in.mb]

Did your knit posing pouch come out unflattering or something?

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

Why do I need to be discouraged from knitting? WTF?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

He had a bad assault needle experience.

[Pro Libertate]

You can’t actually make things out of jizz, Nicole. It’s too liquidy.

[Enough About Palin]

Let it firm up a bit. Think Jello. Be patient.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

You need to watch more South Park.

[Loki]

You mean you can’t make a sports drink out of it?

[Restoras]

Or hair product?

[Auric Demonocles]

Cumbox.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

No cumboxes allowed at homeschool, Auric.

[Auric Demonocles]

But they let me use reddit at work!

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

If you’d rather go to work than homeschool, I think I can still fill up my classes. I mean, fulfill my collective responsibility.

[Pro Libertate]

A pattern on the hat might be copyrightable, but the design probably wouldn’t be, this being apparel.

[kinnath]

People copy famous designers all the time. There is no IP protection for apparel design. As you say, a printed pattern and set of instruction would be copyrightable, but the design of the hat cannot be protected.

[Stormy Dragon]

You can make a purse that looks exactly like a Gucci purse and sell it. You just can’t call it a Gucci purse, because it isn’t one.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, let’s not get hasty. First, you could run afoul of trade dress. Ripping off the Coach pattern would get you there, for instance.

Second, there’s also such a thing as design patents, which exist on any number of fashion products. A good example is Cartier, which gets design patents on watches.

[Pro Libertate]

The design patent has to be attached to some functional element, but that’s not that hard to do.

[Stormy Dragon]

They can make and sell hats like that, they just can’t call them Firefly hats or Jayne Cobb hats because both of those names are trademarked.

[Pro Libertate]

If that’s where they’re going, and they aren’t asserting rights to the pattern, then they’re on firmer footing.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Why not call it a “Jayne-style” cap?

[Pro Libertate]

You could get a license from Adam Baldwin and call it an Adam Baldwin-style hat.

[Emmerson Biggins]

Howbout calling it a “definitely-not-a-Firefly-Jayne” hat. Would that be OK?

[a better weapon]

Alright! I’ll watch it already, sheesh!

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

You know who else tried to control people wearing funny knit caps?

[Francisco d Anconia]

Mal?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Boss Higgins?

[Auric Demonocles]

Alright Pro Lib, we’re going to have to change the color for the sequel.

[Pro Libertate]

Fuck that. We’ll license it or use slightly different Pantone colors.

[Enough About Palin]

Blather, Rinse, Repeat
Obama perseverates again. Meanwhile, cops don’t think much of his antigun ideas.

The guys at CBS News have a sense of humor. The Web headline on their story about President Obama’s antigun speech yesterday in Hartford, Conn., reads: “Obama on Gun Debate: ‘This Isn’t About Me.’ ” That reminded someone on Twitter of the same network’s headline from July 20, 2009: “Obama on Health Care: ‘This Isn’t About Me.’ ”
Try to imagine how soul-ravishingly tedious an Obama speech would be if it wereabout him. We dare you.
Obama’s speech, at once demagogic and pathetic, reminded us of Mayor Michael Nutter’s efforts to censor a different kind of magazine, which we noted last month. Like Nutter, Obama is seeking to restrain law-abiding individuals from exercising their constitutional rights in ways the liberal left disapproves. And like Nutter’s effort, Obama’s is unlikely to succeed.
Here’s an example of the president’s demagogy:

http://online.wsj.com/article/…..TopOpinion

[DesigNate]

“You would think that with those numbers Congress would rush to make this happen. That’s what you would think. If our democracy is working the way it’s supposed to, and 90% of the American people agree on something, in the wake of a tragedy you’d think this would not be a heavy lift.”

Fuck you asshole. My rights are not up for a majority vote. AND THIS ISN’T A FUCKING DEMOCRACY!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Shodan: the scariest search engine on the internet

[ant1sthenes]

I was wondering whether the name was a weird coincidence, but apparently not.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Florida legislature is pondering a bill prohibiting the sale of bongs…

Yes, marijuana decriminalization is right around the corner alright.

[NeonCat]

It’s the powerful rolling papers and blunts lobby.

Has anyone pointed out to the FL legislature how one can easily improvise a water pipe with materials found in Home Depot, for instance? I mean, they SHOULDN’T, of course, because that would be illegal.

[Loki]

A friend of mine in college claimed that he knew a guy in high school who had supposedly made a bong out of a bible. Not sure how much truth there was in that story, but you know they say you can make a bong out of anything…

[a better weapon]

A friend of mine used to troll an intersection with a busy Starbucks by purchasing one and smoking flavored tobacco in it.

The manager called the cops every time he did it. They stopped coming after the first time. It took a lengthy conversation with their superior officer for them to arrive at the conclusion and admit “Sorry, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

[Brett L]

Eh. The dude sponsoring it is a former crackhead. I can’t tell whether he wants them to go out of business because they ripped him off while he was high or if he really believes that he wouldn’t have become a crackhead without bongs and pipes.

[C. Anacreon]

Former drug-abusing politicians deserve to be discretely murdered by Kevin Spacey, left passed out drunk in a running auto inside a closed garage.

[Pro Libertate]

Wait. Who in their right mind elects a former crackhead? I mean, I get that most politicians are insanely venal and usually dumb, but crackhead?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Washington DC?

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, that’s true. But they’re crazy even by Florida standards.

[DesigNate]

I wouldn’t put it past people in Florida.

[Pro Libertate]

I might argue, except that, apparently, some of my co-wackos have, in fact, elected a crackhead.

[Rich]

Bin Laden’s son-in-law may have his trial delayed because of sequestration

First the White House tours, now this! Ouch!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Former Tenn. Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 MPH While Masturbating Out Window

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

I suppose with cruise control it would technically be possible to drive and stick your penis out the window at the same time without having a garden hose down there, but I suspect there’s some exaggeration going on here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like a midget at a urinal, he had to stay on his toes.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Maybe the complaining witnesses were one-eyed, and their lack of depth perception made them misjudge his one-eyed snake.

[Fist of Etiquette]

“…I wouldn’t look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly,” Street said.

“Exited very quickly” is a euphemism, right? Women transcribing things brings his autoeroticism to fruition?

[db]

Former? I say give him his job back!

[Teenage Girl]

Eewww!!

[jesse.in.mb]

Why wouldn’t there be a picture of this fellow so we could judge appropriately.

[Rich]

Hmm. Somehow I thought he’d have more bugs in his teeth.

[NeonCat]

His TEETH weren’t out the window.

He may or may not have flies on his fly.

[PapayaSF]

I want to know: Democrat or Republican? Somehow I suspect that if he was a Republican, it would have been in the headline.

[Raston Bot]

Blakely was investigated on similar charges more than two years ago when he was still in office. Recalling dozens of complaints in recent years, Terry Christian, a Kingsport detective, told WJHL that Blakely’s behavior has gone on “for so long an (sic) nobody’s addressed it.”

maybe everyone just figured he’d kill himself in a high-speed wreck.

[A Serious Man]

At least 14 wounded in stabbing spree at Texas community college.

Time to ban assault knives?

[Fist of Etiquette]

If they guy was getting stabby because he was denied a gun permit, then I think we can chalk this up to the system working.

[Tim]

Steak Knife is a meaningless term.

[A Serious Man]

But are college campuses in Texas gun free zones?

[T]

Sorta. You can’t carry in a building or a portion of a building, but the grounds and parking lots are okay with some exceptions for sporting events.

[Brett L]

Lone Star had another campus where two dudes made shooty on each other. Glad my pops GTFO of the LSCC system before it was the LSCC (he never worked at either violent campus. CyFair campus didn’t exist.)

[rac3rx]

The shooty one was North Houston (near the Big Bush (IAH)). The stabby one is up 290.

[Brett L]

Yep. And my pops was at the one on 242 back when it was MoCo of the NHMCCD. I know where they are.

[Rich]

The suspect, who witnesses say is a white male who has been seen on campus carrying a stuffed animal, reportedly … used an X-ACTO knife

Details matter here. What *kind* of stuffed animal?

[$park?]

You know, deep down in your heart, it was Pinkie Pie.

[C. Anacreon]

In the ER, any adult showing up carrying their own stuffed animal is known automatically to have Borderline Personality Disorder. Something the DSM won’t tell you.

[Andrew S.]

You don’t think knife restrictions are coming next? See Great Britian for that.

[Rich]

Why does anyone *need* more than one kitchen knife?

[Zeb]

There already are restrictions on what knives you can carry in most states. I’m proud to be in a state that just removed all restrictions on bladed weapons. In NH, you can carry a switchblade, a dagger or a damn sword if you want to.

[Loki]

Still, try walking the down street with a katana strapped to your back and see how long it takes for someone to call the cops.

[T]

In Texas, that’ll get you arrested, as will carrying a spear. But carrying a rifle is perfectly legal!

Don’t ask me, I just live here.

[DesigNate]

I didn’t know that.

I’m totally petitioning to get all bladed weapons allowed to be carried in public. I want to walk around with a sword damn it.

[Fate]

You ain’t the only one. Though I’d give consideration to a battle axe.

[db]

Anyone optimistic about this economy absent major reforms to government spending is either half out of their mind or hoping for collapse.

[DesigNate]

Does hope count as optimism or wishing?

[John]

http://www.slate.com/blogs/tre….._link.html

Shreek now has his own video blog over at Slate.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

I am deflated over today’s Chamipons League results
/no spoiler

[Apatheist ?_??]

Without spoilers can you tell me which of the two games I should watch? I probably don’t have time for both.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Dortmund

[Apatheist ?_??]

Good choice. I thank you for the recommendation and the lack of spoilers.

[John]

http://popchassid.com/photos-holocaust-narrative/

The picture of the beautiful young woman being liberated is stunning. And the one of the old lady whacking the skin head is ten shades of awesome.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Those pictures are amazing. The skydiving Holocaust survivor is great.

[NoVAHockey]

i like the survivor with the rifle w/ bayonet moving the Nazi

[Heedless]

There’s an awesome video (too lazy to look it up) of Jews dancing at the gates of Auchwitz. Very Mel Brooks.

[$park?]

What is this I don’t even

Maine’s Marine Patrol has cited a New Hampshire man for having tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of baby eels without a license in what’s being called the biggest case of illegal eel possession in the history of the fishery.

[db]

What gave him away was his hovercraft showed an obvious imbalance due to sloshing.

[Tim]

They’re opening a can of worms…

[Fist of Etiquette]

Does the article list a street value?

[$park?]

Why yes, yes it does.

[Tim]

The trouble with eel investments is you can find yourself underwater pretty fast.

[A Serious Man]

They are a slippery lot, I tell ya what.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Electric eels were doing great things for my portfolio until the negative demand shock.

[$park?]

You should have tried shorting them.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

I think I got too emotionally invested.

[Tim]

[shakes fist]

[a better weapon]

Try getting your hands on some of the more exotic eel investment products. You’ll be shocked!

[Zeb]

People pay a lot for baby eels in Europe.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Protecting kids from allergens may do more harm than good: How medical science got it exactly wrong on childhood food allergies.

[John]

But they have it right when it comes to things like transfats and soda. Trust them.

[Anonymous Coward]

The science is settled! Until it isn’t!

[db]

Yeah, no fucking shit. When I was a kid I never heard of peanut allregies or gluten intolerance. Now if you bring normal food to a potluck you have to put a fucking biohazard sign in it.

[Auric Demonocles]

I always thought it was pretty obvious that limiting exposure lead to more allergies. As someone said to once “Farm kids don’t get hay allergies.”

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

They die in infancy. Duh.

[Coeus]

I am proof that the person who said that was full of shit.

[$park?]

This might be a thing, but I’m not quite sure.

Doug Guller, founder and CEO of the Texas-based restaurant chain Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill, announced in a press release last week that Bikinis has secured the trademark for the term through the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

“We’re really excited about receiving this federal trademark,” Doug Guller said in the press release. “Our team has worked hard over the last seven years to offer a unique experience to our fans. It just further solidifies that Bikinis Sports Bar & Grill is America’s ONLY breastaurant?.”

[Episiarch]

Fucking patent trolls! What next, asstaurant? Hmm, I kind of like that one. Off to the patent office!

[Pro Libertate]

It’s actually harder to troll a trademark, because you have to actually use it and not let other people use it.

So look for lots of ads using the new term. Which is kind of lame, decades after Hooters invented tits.

Asstaurant might be hard to register, since asstronaut is already taken.

[Episiarch]

For ass, I’ll find a way.

[Pro Libertate]

Assonance may be available.

[Xenocles]

The way I read that at first it sounded like they were trademarking “bikini.”

[DEG]

It’s good thing I decided never to eat there again.

I tried the Bikini’s in San Antonio near the medical center. The women were hot but otherwise the place was unimpressive.

[A Serious Man]

America is not broke! We just need more looting!

[John]

http://www.hoover.org/publicat…..cle/144111

Richard Epstein verses Barrack Obama, it is the intellectual equivalent of Godzilla versus the Easter Bunny.

[Pro Libertate]

It’s all so simple, really, but the power-hungry won’t allow anything that actually saves the economy while diminishing their power.

[John]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ttire.html

Look at the dude at the bottom. How big of a loser do you have to be to be a musician and end up with Lena Dunham as your girlfriend?

[db]

I think “bottom” explains it.

[C. Anacreon]

They actually call him handsome in the link! I’d say pudgy and dimwitted.
I’d never seen much of Lena Dunham before these pix.
Yikes! She looks like Michael Moore.

We don’t have HBO so I’ve never seen the show. I do see one of the cast is the lesbian Life Magazine photographer from Mad Men a few seasons back.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Have you heard the pathetic whining on their songs getting air play? Not a surprise.

[John]

You don’t to get air play to be a musician and get a hot girlfriend. You don’t have to be good looking, have money or pretty much anything else. You just have to be in a band. At what point do the other musicians ask this guy to either dump her or take up another profession so that he won’t embarrass them anymore?

[The Immaculate Trouser]

I was in a band in college, and I sure as hell did better than Lena Dunham when I was dating. If you can play a guitar and sing, you’d have to be actively trying to find a girl as unattractive as Lena Dunham to date.

[John]

I spent a few years hanging out in bars around Austin. You would see the ugliest, dirtiest guys who played in the shitiest bands with the hottest girlfriends you could imagine. Half of these guys had pieces of vomit in their beards. And it didn’t matter.

Yeah, you have to try to end up with someone like Dunham. That guy is some kind of sicko or something.

[Brett L]

Goes to support my theory that she’s NYC pretty. I mean they have a certain amount of 10s, but the native and local imported talent is high on the 4-6 scale. Whereas Austin regional talent is a solid 7.5 average.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

But he’s a guitarist for a Grammy winning band, so that can’t really be it. It seems dated in this age, but maybe she’s just a beard.

[jesse.in.mb]

Closeted guys don’t tour with bands that have shirts like:
It’s all Fun. and gay ’til someone loses their rights.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Dear God, let me never be one of those tools who has to broadcast my politics to the world. Political t-shirts: because bumper stickers are just too subtle.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Maybe he’s in an Old School style fraternity and it’s some sort of hazing ritual.

[PapayaSF]

Maybe things are different in NYC, but I’d say it’s a stretch to call Lena Dunham “pretty” anywhere. Including nursing homes. “Plain” is accurate, and “homely” is not wrong.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

She’s just an ugly woman, both physically and (as far as one can ascertain such things from public image) internally.

[Ska]

She’s not NYC pretty; she’s just a hipster chick. Some people like that kind of shit. But don’t mistake that for anyone thinking that she honestly looks pretty.

Well, anyone whose opinion on women’s looks is worth a damn.

[NeonCat]

Maybe she has a wonderful personality or he’s a fame whore.

[T]

She could be able to suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. I dunno. Or maybe he has some fucked up scat fetish that only someone as homely as Dunham would consent to.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

It’s more likely his mom would kill him if he dated some non-jewish shiksa.

[a better weapon]

Well he’s famous now, so he can drop the act.

[Loki]

They pretty much look like the quintessential stereotypical hipster couple to me: a thick framed glasses wearing beardo and his “canklequeen.”

[Archduke Pantsfan]

bread making is a very calming process.

[Sevo]

“14 stabbed at Texas college”
Obama rushes to the scene, promises knife-control legislation through his tears!
http://www.sfgate.com/news/tex…..420935.php

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

This one’s for the goldbugs: charts depicting real growth and inflation by nation under various monetary regimes.

Floating currencies: slightly better for the economy (and with a lot less volatility), depending on the nation somewhat to much worse for inflation.

[Scarcity]

The science is settled! Wimminz cannot resist the giant cock.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5146…..WR9sqKR_X4

[Scarcity]

oops, wrong thread

[Scarcity]

wait no it wasn’t. I need an edit button dammit!

[Auric Demonocles]

The correct form is:

EDIT BUTTON!!!!

[Rich]

they don’t retract

Really, Brian?

*** wheels in tub of ice water and eels ***

[gaijin]

As you increase penis size, the amount of attractiveness scores gets bigger” in a linear fashion, he explained, until 7.6 centimeters, or 3 inches.

So 3-inches flaccid does the trick? ALso, I like that the study was published in the an appropriately named journal: Proceedings of the National ACademy of SCiences, or as it is better known, P-NAS

[Scarcity]

Unless you’re tall. In which case you’re already ahead of the game, but if you’re gonna bear the goods they need to be proportionately larger.

[Scarcity]

or bare the goods.

“bear the goods” is probably in Urban Dictionary, though.

[Auric Demonocles]

Wait, flaccid? Why the hell would they care what the size is when it’s flaccid?

[Scarcity]

Haha, you got excited when you saw 3 inches. Now you’ve exposed yourself.

(Of course puns intended, jeesus.)

[Auric Demonocles]

I didn’t get excited, I got confused. Then I assumed it meant diameter or circumference. Flaccid doesn’t make any sense.

[Francisco d Anconia]

They know about shrinkage…right?

[Coeus]

I am never swimming anywhere but a hot spring for the rest of my life.

[Coeus]

This is not good news for growers.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

You never get a second chance at a first erection.

[jesse.in.mb]

This is not good news for growers.

Jon Hamm is set though.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Finally, some good news for him on the lady front.

[Coeus]

Puritan. What’s wrong with the lady behind?

[jesse.in.mb]

Nothing until Jon Hamm gets there and absolutely lays waste to it with his disturbingly large trouser snake.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I just want you to know?and I tell you this because I know it will make you happy?I am still traumatized by that photo.

[jesse.in.mb]

It makes me feel better, not because I want you to be traumatized, Nicole, but because I don’t want to be the only one traumatized.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

Even if you weren’t immune to being traumatized before you arrived, how have you retained the ability after so much Warty exposure?

[jesse.in.mb]

Clearly you haven’t done a google image search of

“Jon Hamm vpl” or “Jon Hamm bulge”

Warty is titillating like reading Japanese tentacle porn is titillating: so horrible that it’s just good fun. Jon Hamm intrudes rudely into the real.

[Coeus]

absolutely lays waste to it

Don’t be afraid, but my stuff looks like someone spilled an apple pie in my lap.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Don Draper still can’t find happiness.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Maybe not, but they’ll sure as hell drunk dial you to bitch about how you stretched them all out.

[sgs]

So, you’re saying they dialed the wrong number?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

A Montana man whose 12-year-old golden retriever ate five $100 bills hopes to be reimbursed by the federal government.

The bureau’s website says an “experienced mutilated currency examiner” will determine if at least 51 per cent of a bill is present and eligible for reimbursement. The process can take up to two years.

[$park?]

We made all the “shitty job” jokes about it yesterday.

[A Serious Man]

Porn piracy tracked to computers in the Vatican.

[Pro Libertate]

Wait, all of it?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

California!
The state of California is reportedly considering legislation that would force group insurance policies to provide infertility treatment for gay and lesbian couples.
Picture Not Safe for Lunch

[jesse.in.mb]

CA considers a ton, A TON, of bad proposals, and only a bunch get enacted.

[Pro Libertate]

Wait, what?

[a better weapon]

Ok, so a gay couple goes ahead and ‘claims’ infertility. Then what? What exactly would other policy holders be paying for? I mean, is some trolling gay couple going to really take the time to go in and get completely perfunctory infertility treatment?

What doctor would agree to do that knowing there is no benefit to be had? While the risk is low, there are some treatment side effects.

[Pro Libertate]

I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?

[jesse.in.mb]

Umm, I think it’s more a case of sperm extraction from a donor and IVF for the mothers.

Back in the good old days you’d get a pair of lesbians a gay guy and a turkey baster together and do the whole thing for the cost of a new turkey baster. This is the problem with healthcare today.

[Fate]

Yeah, but then the lesbians started hitting up the guy for child support.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Wait, shouldn’t at least one of them be fertile, statistically speaking?

[Loki]

An earthquake measuring magnitude 6.3 struck near Iran’s sole nuclear power station. That Stuxnet virus has really evolved!

So I guess we’ve re-deployed our earthquake gun from Cuba. Is 6.3 the best that thing can do though? If so we’ve been ripped off.

[Coeus]

Feministe weighs in on Obama’s “innapropiate comment”:

See? “Best-looking” is generally not the kind of thing that would ruin someone’s day in a personal setting. But this was a professional setting, so commenting on her looks ? even in a complimentary way ? was inappropriate. And yes, Obama also frequently throws appearance-based compliments out to men ? Shaun Donovan, Ken Salazar, Ray Maybus, and the Pittsburgh Penguins have all been “good-looking men.” But a) that doesn’t mean it was appropriate for him to say about men, either, and b) a looks-based compliment to someone who is consistently judged for his accomplishments is different from a similar compliment to someone who is consistently judged for her appearance, accomplishments notwithstanding.

We have to treat women differently, you see. Somehow that’s supposed encourage equality.

[WomSom]

Obama silent? I dont think its possible lol.

http://www.SurfinPrivacy.tk

[The Late P Brooks]

There are rumors that Dick Cheney’s daughter, Liz, may consider running for Senate in Colorado.

Swept into office by a bipartisan authoritarian consensus!

[A Serious Man]

Is that the lesbian one? (NTTAWWT)

[Xenocles]

Yes.

[Xenocles]

Hmm… maybe not.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

So it’s the third daughter who switch hits?

[Xenocles]

Mary, apparently.

[Coeus]

Austerity showing signs of working in Euorope, even though they’re doing it wrong. Krugman’s reaction:

Back in 2011 and again in the summer of 2012, a number of economists pleaded with the European Central Bank to intervene in sovereign bond markets, buying troubled nations’ debt to stop the “doom loop” of plunging bond prices and financial distress that was pushing the euro to the brink. The objection from austerians was always that this would create moral hazard: it would let countries off the hook, and lead them to slack off on their belt-tightening.

In the end, however, the prospect of imminent collapse concentrated the mind. First through the LTRO lending program, then with the promise to do “whatever it takes”, including Outright Monetary Transactions, the ECB did intervene or at least promise to intervene.

And sure enough, there turns out to be a problem of moral hazard ? but not the kind everyone warned about. Instead, the people who ended up being left (temporarily) off the hook were the austerians themselves, who took the narrowing of spreads ? which was the result of the ECB’s new activism ? and took it as proof that austerity was working.

[Brandon]

Krugman is aware of the concept of a moral hazard? This is new.

[Coeus]

My thoughts exactly. It’s amazing what he’ll come around to when it’s convenient.

[A Serious Man]

Observe the Canadian in his natural environment: puking all over the seats at the Rogers Centre in Toronto.

Fat, drunk, and Canadian is no way to go through life son.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

you’d react the same way if you had to sit through a Jays game.

[Tim]

“Sir, are you classified as human?”

[Archduke Pantsfan]

“Game Of Thrones” Actors Doing Normal Stuff Is So Weird

[Raston Bot]

#8 is Michael Bolton’s bastard. I hate that fuckers music.

[jesse.in.mb]

I thought that was Iwan Rheon (Simon) from Misfits.

[Raston Bot]

I’ve spoiled too much already.

[jesse.in.mb]

God dammit Raston, I haven’t started the new season yet. I just looked at his fucking IMDb page.

[nipplemancer]

Catelyn Stark was in Misfits as Nathan’s mom in the first series. Excellent show.

[Scarcity]

Emilia Clarke doing normal stuff, or weird stuff, or nothing at all is so hot

[A Serious Man]

Natalie Dormer is hot too.

[Scarcity]

True, and she gets nekkid and freaky more often, too.

[Francisco d Anconia]

I am 5 episodes into season 1.

Where are the pics of Sean Bean?

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Sorry to have to break it to you, but

SPOILERS

Sean Bean is made king of Westeros at the end of the first season, and is referenced off-camera to save money. The second and third seasons feature only brief cameos of Bean.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Really? I thought he got Boromired.

Or are you fucking with me?

Damn it, now I really don’t know what happens. Thanks.

[Episiarch]

All you need to know is that everyone dies. Except Joffrey. He wins.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Dragons.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

It’s OK, there’s an awesome lesbian scene with Emilia Clarke in the second season that makes up for the lack of Ned Stark.

[Stormy Dragon]

Do you really need to ask what happens to the character played by Sean Bean? It’s the same thing that happens to every character played by Sean Bean. It’s like trying to not spoil the Rob Schnieder cameo in an Adam Sandler movie.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

You know who else didn’t like what happened to Sean Bean? (possible spoiler)

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Probably the greatest use of the Downfall clip ever — but yes, definitely spoilerific if you haven’t finished the first season.

[Episiarch]

You know, I keep hearing about a wedding, and its certain color scheme. Have you heard of this?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

It’s a reference to the unpopular new theme song for S3.

[Episiarch]

I don’t think that’s the right color.

[Stormy Dragon]

Why is Jon Snow on crutches in the first photo?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

You know nothing, Jon Snow

[Stormy Dragon]

They’re not even “I broke my leg” crutches. They’re “I’ll never walk again!” crutches.

[Coeus]

If we say it’s racist, it’s racist. You don’t get an opinion. Feminists vs Brad Paisley edition.

[Scarcity]

I’m just gonna say it’s the worst song ever without even getting into the middle-school lyrics.

Yeah that includes “Friday”.

[Episiarch]

I do find it amusing how professional complainers get all worked up when someone horns in on their complaining territory.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Bitch rags on LL Cool J?

Fuck her.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

You read my mind. Also, has she never listened to a rap song before? “Conversate” is super common.

[Heroic Mulatto]

It must be noted that this was and will be the best 5 minutes on MTV for all time.

[Coeus]

You know, there’s something I always wondered about LL. Where does he get that (apparently) super tasty lip balm?

[Heroic Mulatto]

That’s the residue of from various “ladies” who “love Cool James”.

[The Late P Brooks]

Is that the lesbian one?

I don’t think so. Liz is the one who’s on Fox a lot. She’s a “political analyst”. You know, Daddy’s girl; a neocon warmonger.

[A Serious Man]

Ah okay, in that case fuck her. I just remember the other daughter being criticized by liberals for supporting Romney despite being a lesbian that had just gotten married.

[A Serious Man]

Here’s a bizarre story: President of Malawi accuses of Madonna of of coming to her country “unannounced and proceeded to villages and made poor people dance for her.”

[Pro Libertate]

Madonna and her forced-dancing fetish. Sad, really.

[Tony]

No news is good news with respect to a cannabis policy position. “Ignore it and maybe it will go away” is better than “we absolutely endorse the status quo.” Obama’s political nature is extremely calculated. He won’t do something on which his ass isn’t covered in some way, and won’t change the status quo on a whim. It needs to be politically advantageous for him to endorse rescheduling of cannabis or whatever. Polls have only just begun to show majority support for liberalizing cannabis laws. Let those sink in for a while and, assuming there’s political pressure more substantial than libertarians whining on blogs, progress could be achieved.

[Irish]

Obama’s political nature is extremely calculated.

He blew his post-reelection political capital lying about the sequester and going after guns.

Truly, he is the heir to Machiavelli.

[Tony]

The sequester has yet to have effects, and when economic data continues to slide, I’ll give you $5000 if pro-sequester types blame anything other than Obama’s mere presence (other than, you know, economic policy designed to slow economic activity).

And he’s going after minor gun regulation policies that won’t happen because 30 kids were recently gunned down in a school.

[Irish]

He lied through his teeth about the sequester Tony. He was claiming that services would be cut which aren’t even run by the Federal Government. His fearmongering was so over the top that no matter what happens it will not come anywhere near the doomsday scenario Obama predicted.

A calculating politician never would have overplayed his hand like that. It was idiotic and any rational human being should have known it was idiotic.

[Xenocles]

Fed.gov has its tentacles everywhere. It funds a lot of local stuff. So it wouldn’t surprise me if local services were cut as a result. (NTTAWWT)

[Coeus]

And he’s going after minor gun regulation policies that won’t happen because 30 kids were recently gunned down in a school.

If that’s why he’s doing it, why hasn’t he proposed anything that could possible have prevented it?

[DesigNate]

The sequester looms LARGE!!!1!!!!1!!

[Brett L]

Just heard in sexual harrassment training video: “Nobody will say, ‘hey, you didn’t say the f-word today, I’m disappointed in you.” They don’t know my friends.

[Pro Libertate]

Just the word “fuck” is supposed to constitute sexual harassment? How? I mean, other than being used to indicate a desire for copulation, anyway.

[Brett L]

I think the context was, “we’ve got a five minute video. Legal says, ‘if you don’t say fuck, it can’t be contrued sexually.'”

[Pro Libertate]

So, “That campaign sure laid an egg!” has to go, because “laid” could be construed as a reference to sex.

[Coeus]

because “laid” could be construed as a reference to sex.

That’s the least of it.
World’s funniest human rides again:

We can feel it when you’re saying “I want to have sex with you” instead of “I like your haircut.” We know. If you aren’t sure which one you’re saying, and you’re in a setting wherein sexual advances are not appropriate (i.e. WOOOOOOORK!!!!!), then err on the side of not fucking saying it. Okay? This is not hard.

[Scarcity]

No matter how it’s used grammatically, it secretly conveys that you wish to copulate with someone present, or maybe everyone present.

Check your privilege, rapist.

[Irish]

Whenever I use the word fuck, it’s because I want to copulate with someone present.

Of course, I always want to copulate with someone present.

My mere presence constitutes sexual harassment.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

If I didn’t say the f-word in a given day, my friends would be less disappointed, more worried about my well-being.

[T]

If I went a full day without saying fuck my wife would have me in a hospital getting a brain scan.

[jesse.in.mb]

I hate sexual harassment training, my female coworkers spend a bunch of time molesting me and making jokes about being third party offended for weeks afterward.

[Heedless]

Someone from my law firm will be in touch with you shortly.

[Brett L]

Sexual orientation ribbing is actionable! My favorite part, the admonition to “just don’t date anyone at work!” This from a company where the CEO and a VP are married.

[Virginian]

They aren’t dating though.

[Brett L]

It wasn’t an arranged marriage.

[Virginian]

Are you sure?

[The Late P Brooks]

President of Malawi accuses of Madonna of of coming to her country “unannounced and proceeded to villages and made poor people dance for her.”

Apparently the feasting on babies and soul-stealing were considered unremarkable.

[Scarcity]

Papa John celebrating after the Louisville win last night:
http://ksr.wpengine.netdna-cdn….._large.jpg

[Somalian Road Corporation]

He looks a little faded in that picture. Understandable for a pizza kingpin.

[Coeus]

Your daily feminist outrage for those who don’t understand statistics.

It’s that time again?the day when we take stock of how little the gender pay gap as budged in recent years. Thanks to the gap, it takes until today, April 9th, for the average woman in the US to work enough to earn as much as the average man earned in 2012. And while the pay gap is 77 cents to the dollar overall, the figures for women of color are even worse:

Black women earn 64 cents to each dollar for white men.
Hispanic women earn 55 cents to each dollar for white men.
Asian women earn 87.6 cents to each a dollar for white men.
While you’re seething, you can thank the Republicans in Congress for blocking the Paycheck Fairness Act,

[A Serious Man]

Asian women make more than white women? I know these numbers are bullshit, but I wonder what the feminist explanation for that would be.

[Restoras]

I wonder if the higher average for Asian women includes the earnings from rub&tugs;.

[Irish]

While you’re seething, you can thank the Republicans in Congress for blocking the Paycheck Fairness Act,

We’ve passed unbelievable amounts of legislation attempting to create ‘equality.’ It hasn’t worked. But clearly this next one would fix everything.

[C. Anacreon]

What always irks me about these numbers is that many readers think it is the pay for doing the same jobs. They don’t realize it is the pay for all men compared to all the other groups. If a man works full-time as a professional basketball player, that goes in for the men’s totals, compared to a woman who works at the checkout counter at a discount shoe store.

Let’s see apples to apples and I doubt there would be as much seething or blaming the R’s.

While we are at it, how about an article about how the paycheck fairness act would have made pay more equal by lowering everyone’s pay?

[Rich]

Shouldn’t they compare Black women to Black men, etc.?

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I mean, y’all know I hate this shit anyway, but can I just vent for a second about how much it pisses me off to read these complaints when I am the household breadwinner? I mean what am I even supposed to feel when I read something like that? Am I supposed to feel bad for all these women who make less than men? Does that mean I should also feel bad for my man because he makes less than me, when we both know there are rational and legitimate reasons for that? Am I supposed to feel angry that I’m being told to “seethe” about my victimhood when my “lived experience” makes me more inclined to seethe about egalitarianism? Because I’m really inclined to the last one.

[Irish]

I’d also love to know whether or not these feminists would be willing to live with a man who makes far less than they do. Many women want a man who makes more money than them and many men want to be the breadwinner.

So long as that’s the case, no legislation will change anything because there are natural incentives for people to stick to the status quo.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

I have a male friend (yes, a friend) who makes significantly more money than his wife, largely because of the industries they are in (they both have good careers, but one is much more lucrative). He was such a feminist that they went to counseling because he felt bad about it.

[Irish]

That is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

The original sin in leftist orthodoxy is making more money than someone else.

It’s amazing that a group of people can be so money-obsessed, and not get called greedy.

[Coeus]

I bet they have sex once a year, and he cries afterward.

[jesse.in.mb]

You know, I normally think the term beta is ridiculous, but here I’m willing to run with it.

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

Yeah, it’s hard to argue.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

Ditto.

[shamalam]

I bet he is less than three inches flaccid.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

You are supposed to have a Pavlovian reaction to that statistic, Nikki — just like all free-thinking women do.

Having a reaction other than the one you are expected to have is proof that you are enslaved by the patriarchy.

[DesigNate]

Nikki, Nikki, Nikki. You don’t understand.

Your husband would obviously make more money than you if he was to do your job. Just by virtue of his having a penis.

Glad I could clear that up for you.

[Heroic Mulatto]

but can I just vent for a second about how much it pisses me off to read these complaints when I am the household breadwinner? … I should also feel bad for my man because he makes less than me,

Honey, you need to dump that zero, and get yo’self a hero! Mmm-hmm!
*sassy fingersnap*

[A Serious Man]

Scripps National Spelling Bee adds new rule: you need to spell the word and correctly define it.

[Bam!]

War on homeschoolers.

[Stormy Dragon]

I don’t get the big crush homeschooling parents have on spelling bees. The ability to correctly spell words no one ever actually uses is a really bizarre measure of how well educated someone is.

[Coeus]

Now that everyone gets a trophy in kid’s sports, it’s one of the only ways their kids can compete with others. Competition is healthy.

[Virginian]

Plus discipline, perseverance, performance under pressure.

[Brett L]

That’s why I’m already putting by a box of baseballs. “What’s the capital of Mali? Wrong!” Wham. Baseball in the sternum.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Bamako.

I know this because in high school, I created a comedic Afrocentric “Nat X”-type alter-ego called Jamal Bamako.

[Brett L]

Damn. There’s always someone.

[Stormy Dragon]

That’s half racist!

[Stormy Dragon]

There’s plenty of other academic competitions that depend on more useful skills: Academic Challenge, Academic Decathalon, MathCounts, Science Olympiad, the Internation Science and Engineering Fair, etc.

The cynic in me notes that all of those require significantly more effort by the coach, where as spelling bees is just a matter of forcing your kid to memorize long lists of obscure words and then punishing them enough until they get it right with no real effort on your part.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

You’re overthinking it.

Spelling bees are easy to administer and coordinate. Anything that you can run from the back of a church and set up with five minutes of looking in an Oxford dictionary will always be popular compared to more intensive activities from the point of view of a coordinator. Easy to set up, easy to grade — they’re similar to Bible verse memorization contests in that way.

Besides, the homeschool community is also big on DIY stuff (lots of coders and robotics aficionados in the homeschooling community) and usually they join clubs and sports offered by public schools and such.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Maybe….just maybe…encountering those obscure words, some of them with cool definitions and/or etymologies might inspire in some of these children an interest in languages?

But what am I talking about? That’s silly! We all talk in binary now, because…STEM!

01100110011101010110001101101011 011110010110111101110101

[Shine on, Nikki Diamond]

That’s just crazy talk HM.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Fair enough, I studied loglan/lojban in college, but that was more of a side effect of falling in love with predicate logic.

[Stormy Dragon]

I find that unlikely if, as the article seems to indicate, a large number of contestants don’t actually know what the words they’re spelling mean. That suggests they’re just memorizing strings of what might as well be randomly generated characters for all they care.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I was just busting balls for the most part, but it’s no different than memorizing Pi. I did the NatGeo Geography Bee when I was a little tyke.

I would have loved the International Linguistics Olympiad if they had that when I was in high school. All I was stuck with was Odyssey of the Mind.

[The Late P Brooks]

“Nobody will say, ‘hey, you didn’t say the f-word today, I’m disappointed in you.”

Me making it through a day without saying “fuck” would be like Obama going a day without saying “I”.

[Rich]

Would you do it for a fucking *Klondike Bar*?

[The Late P Brooks]

Klondike bars don’t cost much. I can afford the fuckers out of pocket.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

1%er

[Archduke Pantsfan]

A reason to watch CNN again.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Universal Health Care!

[Pro Libertate]

Oh, please, Jesus, save us.

[Coeus]

Instead of removal of competition, the article blames it on the removal of the unions.

[C. Anacreon]

So the other day I had this sudden realization about the government union thingie during a discussion with a far-left friend. He was talking about evil corporations and how it was only government that saves us from being screwed over by the greedy.

I then said, “Well, since governments are so good, and only want what’s best for us, there should be no need for government employee unions. Certainly the benevolent government will always give these employees a fair deal, no reason to collectively bargain at all, correct?”

I thought his head was going to explode. He suddenly heard his wife calling.

[Episiarch]

It’s pretty incredible how statists who hate corporations have managed to project all the things a massive corporation with total monopolies on force and “justice” (i.e., the government) does onto companies that do not have that monopoly. Ever horrible thing they think corporations do, government does already…and it’s not even accountable.

It’s really quite incredible.

[Pro Libertate]

The “corporation” is their bogeyman. That’s it, that’s the whole explanation. There’s nothing rational or sane about it.

What’s a company going to do in a free(er) society that involves force? A monopoly without government intervention creating it in the first place may be a total fiction, and there’s no corporation that has a standing army, nuclear weapons, concentration camps, prisons, or any other hallmark of the many, many evils of government.

[Episiarch]

Let’s not forget that no company reserves the right for itself to execute/assassinate people. Except The Company, of course.

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, perhaps people are confused about the CIA being an actual business. If that’s true, let me explain–“Company” is a euphemism. The CIA is a government agency.

[Episiarch]

Yeah, like how John Wayne and Elvis weren’t actually members of the aristocracy, and Bruce Springsteen doesn’t sign your paychecks, and Wayne Gretzky isn’t the only hockey player.

[Pro Libertate]

Well, Elvis was the King. Of something. Maybe Memphis? I’ve never been to Egypt, so I don’t really know.

[Brett L]

What’s a company going to do in a free(er) society that involves force?

I see you never played Shadowrun.

[Coeus]

Love that. I’m going to do it to a proggie as soon as possible.

[Brandon]

I have never, not once, had an unclean room or bed in our evil greed-despoiled free market-ish system.

[Brandon]

Comments:

barb_smartass
2013/04/09
at 3:38 AM ET
:Privatized cleaning contractors… brilliant. They pay someone to cut corners, and then wonder why they are cutting corners. Our social system is so broken and dysfunctional its pathological. Profits before people, and the environment that sustains us.

Yeah, it’s just not coercive enough.

[Brandon]

Where do you get that the Cheney spawn is running in Colorado?

[Fatty Bolger]

Small business owners are pessimistic realistic about the state of the economy and aren’t hiring right now.

[C. Anacreon]

Our local congressman George Miller, super-statist, had a big op-ed in the local Sunday paper about his efforts to raise the minimum wage to $10.10/hour. The article was a sob story about hard-working women who don’t make enough to feed their children (he didn’t also boast about the 50 million who get food stamps though) and how the $10.10 might bring them above the poverty level. Of course he brought up the overplayed stat how CEOs make X times more than average company workers, as if somehow the minimum wage boost will come out of lowered executive pay.

So of course small business isn’t hiring. Would you be if you thought that soon you might be required to pay 50% more to your employees, though their value to your shop had not increased a penny?

[Cytotoxic]

I’ve been bored lately so I visited Breitbart. I gotta say I appreciate Reason all the more for it. They were giving a print BJ to Arpaio and took it down from the front page without a trace when they were caught bulshitting.

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.c…..recall.php

[Paul Pot]

The feds are waiting for marijuana business’s to open so they can go in and bust them.