Friday Funnies: Pop Tart Politics

Courtesy of Chip Bok

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Edgy and corny at the same time. Quite a feat.

[mnarayan]

Your Reign In puns will soon end in Blood.

[invisible furry hand]

what flavour pop tart is that?

[Sy]

9mm munchberry

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I don't eat them anymore, but you cannot beat frosted strawberry.

[RBS]

True, but brown sugar cinnamon is a close second.

[some guy]

Frosted brown sugar cinnamon is tops. Frosted strawberry is the close second.

[Generic Stranger]

I'm pretty sure frosted strawberry is the flavor that caused me to puke when I was a little kid, and why for years after the smell of poptarts made me nauseous.

[c3po]

The smell was nauseous.

You were nauseated.

[Ted S.]

Generic Strangre pwned by the gay robots of Star Wars.

[Joe M]

Incorrect: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nauseous

[c3po]

SLIPSHOD EXTENSION!

[Loki]

But can you translate that into Bocce?

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Impossible, you were already sick and the frosted strawberry pop tart was unfortunately the last thing you ate.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

Side story, my friend ate a bunch of Starburst jelly beans a few years ago, right before his appendix burst and he threw them all up.

Poor guy cannot bring himself to eat them anymore.

[RBS]

Jelly Beans Linked to Massive Organ Failure

/Yahoo News

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Back in the day, I drank eight 32-oz margaritas at a happy hour. It was two years before the smell of tequila didn't make me queasy. Luckily for me, I finally got over it.

[mnarayan]

Unless it was more like "happy five hours", your stomach must be big as hell.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Yeah, it wasn't a literal happy "hour." It was probably the semi-standard 4-7PM type of thing.

As far as I can tell, I'm over 4 standard deviations from the mean in height and my visible body parts are much larger than average, so it's entirely possible my stomach is also big as hell.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Ugh, I had a really bad argument with Jose over a decade ago and the smell of tequila still nauseates me.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Jose is shit tequila. I don't know why anyone drinks it.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Because I was young enough not to have discerning taste in alcohol yet. Hell, I was still drinking Miller Lite as my primary beer at the time.

[Ted S.]

There are other fine alcoholic beverages to drink besides tequila.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

True enough, and I turned to some of them during those dark two years, but tequila is my preference.

[CbadCAMom]

I once threw up after eating onion rings, didn't eat them for 15 years. Now I CAN'T stop.

Why were you bothering with strawberry? Everyone knows brown sugar & cinnamon are the best.

[Ted S.]

What the fuck is a "flavour"?

[Sy]

that's....almost not funny.

[Generic Stranger]

Oh hi, you must be new.

[Sy]

nay.

[Almanian.!]

1) Weird how they got that smudged effect with the wall treatment - appears they put paint on erasers, put the eraser on the wall, and then dragged it to the left. Interesting.

2) Why is the old fat guy holding a moldy piece of bread and appearing to hand it to a young Newcular Titties?

3) What the HELL is up with Young Newcular Titties' right arm? I thought it was a tie at first. Is this some mashup where he got Bob Dole's gimpy arm? If so, why isn't he holding a pencil in it like Bob Dole always did. Does...

4) Would it kill a guy to throw a couple labels in this?

Happy Friday, Reasonoids.

[Question of Auban]

And why doen't the adult think he is "professional enough" to nibble the pop tart himself?

[SugarFree]

1) Matrix bullets. Duh.

2) Antibiotics.

3) Dragon fire near burned it clean off.

4) He's stopped trying to please complainers like you.

[Question of Auban]

With the recent shooting at Quantico I wonder how long it will be before someone suggests that military bases become "Gun Free Zones".

[Generic Stranger]

Err..they pretty much already are. Pretty much nobody but the MPs are allowed to carry a firearm outside of training on most military bases. That's why that fuck that shot up Fort Hood is still aspirating.

[RBS]

You might need to adjust your sarcasm detector.

[Drake]

I may need to as well - but I've heard the same nonsense from people not being sarcastic.

[Question of Auban]

I was being sarcastic, really, I was in the Air Force I know ... but still .. I would not be surprised if some idiotic congresscritter like Sheila Jackson Lee were to propose such a thing.

[Drake]

The NJ National Guard beat her to it.

[Generic Stranger]

Could be, but he seemed to be operating under the delusion that they weren't already.

[RBS]

Yeah, but he's been around long enough that I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Question of Auban]

Thanks

[Question of Auban]

I know that they are now - I was in the Air Force. I guess it is a sign of our times that we now have to throw up sarcasm signs for such comments

[l0b0t]

I was just about to post that very thing. We were not allowed to bring our service weapons into the barracks for any reason. Hell, even privately owned firearms had to be stored in or battery arms rooms and we had to get the CO's permission to sign them out (our privately owned firearms).

[Almanian.!]

How about all war zones as "Gun Free Zones"? Probably cut down on all the killing a bit.

Just a thought.

[RBS]

Then they could declare the Middle East a terrorist free zone. World Peace!

[Drake]

Never been in the military, have you?

They already are gunfree zones - except for MP's, who are minutes away when the shooting starts.

In the Marines, I often had my rifle with me - but never, ever any ammo except on the range. In the Army National Guard, I never touched my rifle except on the range or in the armory to clean it.

[SugarFree]

I wonder how long it will be before someone suggests that military bases become "Gun Free Zones".

Gun violence has no place in the military.

[LTC(ret) John]

Nor "assault weapons".

[SugarFree]

All assault is sexual assault.

-Andrea Dworkin

[invisible furry hand]

hey, stop hatin' on Andrea just because she nibbled your penis into the shape of a pop tart

[SugarFree]

I believe that was her own penis she did that to.

Australian public education is embarrassingly lax.

[invisible furry hand]

I went to a Catholic girls' school, hence I only learnt nun jokes

[RBS]

I went to a Catholic girls' school

Go on...

[Eduard van Haalen]

Were you ever In Trouble?

[SugarFree]

I bet you could name everyone that's ever been in a Mad Max movie, though.

[gaijin]

Clearly a military style weapon being used...look at all the bullets.

[l0b0t]

Those are bullets?!? I thought the cat had walked through the ink and was scratching at the drawing.

[LTC(ret) John]

I am shocked, dismayed and bewildered...this one didn't really suck. What are we supposed to do when that happens?!

[SugarFree]

Hope that you are taken today and are therefore spared 1000 years of tribulations.

[LTC(ret) John]

Rise Great Cthulhu, smite me down!

[sarcasmic]

Needs more labels.

[a better weapon]

Is this the first one he's ever done with no labels? I kind of miss them now...

[c3po]

HEY, REASON, HOW COME NO COVERAGE OF PA HOUSE APPROVAL OF PRIVATIZATION OF LIQUOR SALES?!

[LTC(ret) John]

Too drunk celebrating?

[Ted S.]

It's not as if you're going to get a hat tip for it anyway.

[RBS]

When did the final approval occur? If you use the search tool you will find Reason has been covering the drive towards privatization.

[Rod Flash]

Is this bigger than the MD Senate decriminalizing up to 10g of pot?

[Some call me Tim?]

More monumental in that it seemed like this change would NEVER come.

[Brian from Texas]

The father in this cartoon will probably have CPS and cops banging on his door tomorrow, especially if he lives in Jersey.

[invisible furry hand]

aren't they the ones firing the bullets today?

[sloopyinca]

You dumbasses have it all wrong. That's not a Pop Tart and they're not after his gun.

That's the Feds working on behalf of the RIAA going after this bastard for illegally downloading movie torrents onto his Kindle Fire. If you squint hard enough, you can make out Wreck It Ralph.

[sloopyinca]

And if that's a Mass shooting, where are the pews and little pads to kneel on? Or where are the Massholes?

[Auric Demonocles]

The shooting is happening at a Red Sox sellout.

[AlmightyJB]

Slightly funny. That's all you're getting.

[BlueBook]

One of the bullets appears to be exiting the speech balloon, but there is no visible entry point...

IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

[Eduard van Haalen]

Yeah, who are they trying to fool with their magic-bullet theories? It was the one-armed man on the Grassy Knoll.

[Loki]

OMG, It's an assault pastry! Quick, someone get mayor Bloomburg on the phone, I think I've found his next ban.

"We need to get these dangerous assault pastries out of the hands of our childrunz!"

[SumpTump]

Sometimes dude, you jsut have to roll wit hit man.

http://www.Anon-Today.tk

[Question of Auban]

All bow down to the great Annonbot, it is from he that all wisdom flows.

[a better weapon]

That was the first Chip cartoon that made me laugh and not laugh AT it.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Yep, I actually chuckled at it before my libertarian cynicism kicked in. Of course, he's still got the big "NEXT MASS SHOOTING" label at the bottom. Really? you think that was necessary? Bok thinks the commentariat are a bunch of dipshits.

[itsnotmeitsyou]

Come on, Jesus. Look into the souls of the commentariat here and tell me that we don't have our fair share of dipshits.