Friday Funnies: Pop Tart Politics

Chip Bok | 3.22.2013 7:40 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 12 years ago

Edgy and corny at the same time. Quite a feat.
1. mnarayan 12 years ago
  
  Your Reign In puns will soon end in Blood.
invisible furry hand 12 years ago

what flavour pop tart is that?
1. Sy 12 years ago
  
  9mm munchberry
2. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
  
  I don't eat them anymore, but you cannot beat frosted strawberry.
  1. RBS 12 years ago
    
    True, but brown sugar cinnamon is a close second.
    1. some guy 12 years ago
      
      Frosted brown sugar cinnamon is tops. Frosted strawberry is the close second.
  2. Generic Stranger 12 years ago
    
    I'm pretty sure frosted strawberry is the flavor that caused me to puke when I was a little kid, and why for years after the smell of poptarts made me nauseous.
    1. c3po 12 years ago
      
      The smell was nauseous.
      
      You were nauseated.
      1. Ted S. 12 years ago
        
        Generic Strangre pwned by the gay robots of Star Wars.
      2. Joe M 12 years ago
        
        Incorrect: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nauseous
        
        c3po 12 years ago
        
        SLIPSHOD EXTENSION!
      3. Loki 12 years ago
        
        But can you translate that into Bocce?
    2. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
      
      Impossible, you were already sick and the frosted strawberry pop tart was unfortunately the last thing you ate.
      1. Certified Public Asskicker 12 years ago
        
        Side story, my friend ate a bunch of Starburst jelly beans a few years ago, right before his appendix burst and he threw them all up.
        
        Poor guy cannot bring himself to eat them anymore.
        
        RBS 12 years ago
        
        Jelly Beans Linked to Massive Organ Failure
        
        /Yahoo News
        
        Night Elf Mohawk 12 years ago
        
        Back in the day, I drank eight 32-oz margaritas at a happy hour. It was two years before the smell of tequila didn't make me queasy. Luckily for me, I finally got over it.
        
        mnarayan 12 years ago
        
        Unless it was more like "happy five hours", your stomach must be big as hell.
        
        Night Elf Mohawk 12 years ago
        
        Yeah, it wasn't a literal happy "hour." It was probably the semi-standard 4-7PM type of thing.
        
        As far as I can tell, I'm over 4 standard deviations from the mean in height and my visible body parts are much larger than average, so it's entirely possible my stomach is also big as hell.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 12 years ago
        
        Ugh, I had a really bad argument with Jose over a decade ago and the smell of tequila still nauseates me.
        
        Jesus H. Christ 12 years ago
        
        Jose is shit tequila. I don't know why anyone drinks it.
        
        itsnotmeitsyou 12 years ago
        
        Because I was young enough not to have discerning taste in alcohol yet. Hell, I was still drinking Miller Lite as my primary beer at the time.
        
        Ted S. 12 years ago
        
        There are other fine alcoholic beverages to drink besides tequila.
        
        Night Elf Mohawk 12 years ago
        
        True enough, and I turned to some of them during those dark two years, but tequila is my preference.
    3. CbadCAMom 12 years ago
      
      I once threw up after eating onion rings, didn't eat them for 15 years. Now I CAN'T stop.
      
      Why were you bothering with strawberry? Everyone knows brown sugar & cinnamon are the best.
3. Ted S. 12 years ago
  
  What the fuck is a "flavour"?
Sy 12 years ago

that's....almost not funny.
1. Generic Stranger 12 years ago
  
  Oh hi, you must be new.
  1. Sy 12 years ago
    
    nay.
Almanian.! 12 years ago

1) Weird how they got that smudged effect with the wall treatment - appears they put paint on erasers, put the eraser on the wall, and then dragged it to the left. Interesting.

2) Why is the old fat guy holding a moldy piece of bread and appearing to hand it to a young Newcular Titties?

3) What the HELL is up with Young Newcular Titties' right arm? I thought it was a tie at first. Is this some mashup where he got Bob Dole's gimpy arm? If so, why isn't he holding a pencil in it like Bob Dole always did. Does...

4) Would it kill a guy to throw a couple labels in this?

Happy Friday, Reasonoids.
1. Question of Auban 12 years ago
  
  And why doen't the adult think he is "professional enough" to nibble the pop tart himself?
2. SugarFree 12 years ago
  
  1) Matrix bullets. Duh.
  
  2) Antibiotics.
  
  3) Dragon fire near burned it clean off.
  
  4) He's stopped trying to please complainers like you.
Question of Auban 12 years ago

With the recent shooting at Quantico I wonder how long it will be before someone suggests that military bases become "Gun Free Zones".
1. Generic Stranger 12 years ago
  
  Err..they pretty much already are. Pretty much nobody but the MPs are allowed to carry a firearm outside of training on most military bases. That's why that fuck that shot up Fort Hood is still aspirating.
  1. RBS 12 years ago
    
    You might need to adjust your sarcasm detector.
    1. Drake 12 years ago
      
      I may need to as well - but I've heard the same nonsense from people not being sarcastic.
      1. Question of Auban 12 years ago
        
        I was being sarcastic, really, I was in the Air Force I know ... but still .. I would not be surprised if some idiotic congresscritter like Sheila Jackson Lee were to propose such a thing.
        
        Drake 12 years ago
        
        The NJ National Guard beat her to it.
    2. Generic Stranger 12 years ago
      
      Could be, but he seemed to be operating under the delusion that they weren't already.
      1. RBS 12 years ago
        
        Yeah, but he's been around long enough that I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
        
        Question of Auban 12 years ago
        
        Thanks
      2. Question of Auban 12 years ago
        
        I know that they are now - I was in the Air Force. I guess it is a sign of our times that we now have to throw up sarcasm signs for such comments
  2. l0b0t 12 years ago
    
    I was just about to post that very thing. We were not allowed to bring our service weapons into the barracks for any reason. Hell, even privately owned firearms had to be stored in or battery arms rooms and we had to get the CO's permission to sign them out (our privately owned firearms).
2. Almanian.! 12 years ago
  
  How about all war zones as "Gun Free Zones"? Probably cut down on all the killing a bit.
  
  Just a thought.
  1. RBS 12 years ago
    
    Then they could declare the Middle East a terrorist free zone. World Peace!
3. Drake 12 years ago
  
  Never been in the military, have you?
  
  They already are gunfree zones - except for MP's, who are minutes away when the shooting starts.
  
  In the Marines, I often had my rifle with me - but never, ever any ammo except on the range. In the Army National Guard, I never touched my rifle except on the range or in the armory to clean it.
4. SugarFree 12 years ago
  
  I wonder how long it will be before someone suggests that military bases become "Gun Free Zones".
  
  Gun violence has no place in the military.
  1. LTC(ret) John 12 years ago
    
    Nor "assault weapons".
    1. SugarFree 12 years ago
      
      All assault is sexual assault.
      
      -Andrea Dworkin
      1. invisible furry hand 12 years ago
        
        hey, stop hatin' on Andrea just because she nibbled your penis into the shape of a pop tart
        
        SugarFree 12 years ago
        
        I believe that was her own penis she did that to.
        
        Australian public education is embarrassingly lax.
        
        invisible furry hand 12 years ago
        
        I went to a Catholic girls' school, hence I only learnt nun jokes
        
        RBS 12 years ago
        
        I went to a Catholic girls' school
        
        Go on...
        
        Eduard van Haalen 12 years ago
        
        Were you ever In Trouble?
        
        SugarFree 12 years ago
        
        I bet you could name everyone that's ever been in a Mad Max movie, though.
gaijin 12 years ago

Clearly a military style weapon being used...look at all the bullets.
1. l0b0t 12 years ago
  
  Those are bullets?!? I thought the cat had walked through the ink and was scratching at the drawing.
LTC(ret) John 12 years ago

I am shocked, dismayed and bewildered...this one didn't really suck. What are we supposed to do when that happens?!
1. SugarFree 12 years ago
  
  Hope that you are taken today and are therefore spared 1000 years of tribulations.
  1. LTC(ret) John 12 years ago
    
    Rise Great Cthulhu, smite me down!
sarcasmic 12 years ago

Needs more labels.
1. a better weapon 12 years ago
  
  Is this the first one he's ever done with no labels? I kind of miss them now...
c3po 12 years ago

HEY, REASON, HOW COME NO COVERAGE OF PA HOUSE APPROVAL OF PRIVATIZATION OF LIQUOR SALES?!
1. LTC(ret) John 12 years ago
  
  Too drunk celebrating?
2. Ted S. 12 years ago
  
  It's not as if you're going to get a hat tip for it anyway.
3. RBS 12 years ago
  
  When did the final approval occur? If you use the search tool you will find Reason has been covering the drive towards privatization.
4. Rod Flash 12 years ago
  
  Is this bigger than the MD Senate decriminalizing up to 10g of pot?
  1. Some call me Tim? 12 years ago
    
    More monumental in that it seemed like this change would NEVER come.
Brian from Texas 12 years ago

The father in this cartoon will probably have CPS and cops banging on his door tomorrow, especially if he lives in Jersey.
1. invisible furry hand 12 years ago
  
  aren't they the ones firing the bullets today?
sloopyinca 12 years ago

You dumbasses have it all wrong. That's not a Pop Tart and they're not after his gun.

That's the Feds working on behalf of the RIAA going after this bastard for illegally downloading movie torrents onto his Kindle Fire. If you squint hard enough, you can make out Wreck It Ralph.
sloopyinca 12 years ago

And if that's a Mass shooting, where are the pews and little pads to kneel on? Or where are the Massholes?
1. Auric Demonocles 12 years ago
  
  The shooting is happening at a Red Sox sellout.
AlmightyJB 12 years ago

Slightly funny. That's all you're getting.
BlueBook 12 years ago

One of the bullets appears to be exiting the speech balloon, but there is no visible entry point...

IT'S A CONSPIRACY.
1. Eduard van Haalen 12 years ago
  
  Yeah, who are they trying to fool with their magic-bullet theories? It was the one-armed man on the Grassy Knoll.
Loki 12 years ago

OMG, It's an assault pastry! Quick, someone get mayor Bloomburg on the phone, I think I've found his next ban.

"We need to get these dangerous assault pastries out of the hands of our childrunz!"
SumpTump 12 years ago

Sometimes dude, you jsut have to roll wit hit man.

http://www.Anon-Today.tk
1. Question of Auban 12 years ago
  
  All bow down to the great Annonbot, it is from he that all wisdom flows.
a better weapon 12 years ago

That was the first Chip cartoon that made me laugh and not laugh AT it.
1. Jesus H. Christ 12 years ago
  
  Yep, I actually chuckled at it before my libertarian cynicism kicked in. Of course, he's still got the big "NEXT MASS SHOOTING" label at the bottom. Really? you think that was necessary? Bok thinks the commentariat are a bunch of dipshits.
  1. itsnotmeitsyou 12 years ago
    
    Come on, Jesus. Look into the souls of the commentariat here and tell me that we don't have our fair share of dipshits.

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