Michael Bloomberg

Dumbest Headline of the Year: 'Bloomberg, champion of choice'


The Daily News of New York deserves raspberries not just for letting sports bloviator Mike Lupica try to write about guns, but for publishing a George Loewenstein piece with the subhed "Putting cigarettes behind the counter actually increases liberty." Just imagine how free we'll be when every addictive substance is banned!

Here's Jacob Sullum on the latter jackassery. Reason on Mayor Mike's indefatigable nannyism here.

Link via the must-follow Twitter feed of Glenn Garvin, who describes the piece as "so stupid that I'm rethinking my position on torture."

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  1. Reducing choice makes you more free…if you are an impulse control challenged pussy who deserves to live in a police state that you request yourself. Fuck you.

    1. Freedom’s just another word
      For nothing left to choose.

      1. In ancient Rome there was a poem
        About a dog who found two bones
        He hid them both behind the counter

        Freedom of choice
        Is what you give you
        Freedom of choice!

        1. If you choose not to decide,
          You still have made a choice.

          1. Where’s Shatner when you need him?

            He could undo all of this in seconds with his James T. Kirk double-talk.

            1. General Order 24, Scotty, General Order 24!

        2. Freedom of choice is what you got
          Freedom from choice is what you want

        3. Freedom of choice
          Is what you’ve got.
          Freedom from choice
          Is what you’ll get.

        4. There’s too much paranoias
          There’s too much paranoias
          My momma’s afraid to tell me
          The things she’s afraid of


            1. Going for Mongoloid was too easy for Warty.

              1. I would have thought he’d go for “Be Stiff”.

            2. Wake up puppet boy!
              Get up puppet boy
              You got a job to do
              Even so you’re free to go
              Where your master tells you to

              1. I have a gut feeling you’re right.

        5. When they kick out your front door
          How you gonna come?
          With your hands on your head
          Or on the trigger of your gun?

  2. No, he is a champion of making choices for his people. He makes them so you don’t have to. Or can if you want to. Simplify!

    1. Freedom from choice!

  3. By gently and cleverly combatting some of the more aggressive effects of addiction and corporate marketing run amok, they actually make it easier, not harder, for people to exercise the choices they really desire.

    People need to be compelled to exercise the choices I — oops, I mean they — really desire. Therefore, freedom is slavery.

    1. Right, like this bit of pretzel logic:

      The display of cigarettes in shops, therefore, doesn’t give people more choice, but by confronting smokers head-on with temptation, makes it more difficult for them to implement the choice to quit that so many want to make.

      1. So let’s ban everything that anyone can possibly be addicted to–fattening food and drink, tobacco, porn, sex, television, crossword puzzles, water, etc.

        1. What if you become addicted to banning things? ERROR ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE *explodes*

          1. You can’t be addicted to good things like banning, taxing, or spending, silly.

        2. Then we’ll achieve perfect freedom of choice.

        3. It has been determined that anything that is not good for you is bad, and therefore is illegal.

        4. Well wasn’t that what kindly Uncle Joe Stalin doing for those poor Ukranians? He was hiding the food so that they wouldn’t overeat and get all fat.

          Was it his fault that he hid that food just a bit too well?

      2. makes it more difficult for them to implement the choice to quit that so many want to make

        What do you think would happen if someone tried to teach these people about revealed preferences? Would their heads literally explode?

      3. See ladies, it IS your fault you got raped. You tempted that guy with your skimpy outfit marketing run amok.

        All women must wear Burkas!

        1. “look at those cigarette packages, in their skimpy colorful little boxes! They’re asking to be bought. They’re practically BEGGING for it!”

        2. This kind of doublethink especially pisses me off.

          Scantily clad girl gets raped… The rapist should have known better. The clothes had nothing to do with it. (note, i do believe this is correct)

          Guy stabs 20 people… He was mentally deranged and needs help.

          Guy buys a pack of cigarettes… He was tempted by them being there and visually stimulating him. Evil, evil packaging.

          Guy shoots 10 people… EVUL GUNZZZZZ!!!

      4. I wanted to stay home and study, but my friends tempted me to go out and have some drinks.

        Banned! No more socializing on college campuses!

        1. I wanted to put that money in a savings account, but that new car was just so pretty…

          Banned! No open air car lots!

          1. etc. etc. etc.

      5. Yeah.

        Because my choice to buy cigarettes at midnight (at a convenience store 20 minutes away – the only one open) is made only once I get to the counter and see the cigarettes and not once I’ve said, “FUCK! I want another cigarette before bed” and proceed to get dressed for the trek to the convenience store.

        I’ll admit it: I do want to quit cigarettes. But it sure as hell isn’t seeing cigarettes behind the counter that’s keeping me from doing it.

        Fuck this guy.

    2. The choice I desire is the choice to be left alone. Why the fuck won’t Bloomberg and his ilk let me make that choice?

    3. This line sent me into fits of rage… Seriously? How fucked in the head do you have to be to commit to that type of logic?

      the choices they really desire

      And this is the worst of the quote. Fuck you and what you think people REALLY desire. I’ve been a smoker for 10 years and you know what I really desire right now?

      A cigarette.

      And to punch this dipshit in the throat.

  4. I see that the NY Daily Spews is being proactive in enacting newsspeak.

    It’s encouraging to see a member of the 4th Estate get ahead of Big Brother on pushing his initiatives. They should be roundly rewarded for their efforts.

    1. Now I see what this idiot leftoid meant when he said the New York Times was a moderate paper.

      If the Daily News is Communist, and the other one I can’t remember of the name of is vaguely populist right, then the NYT would seem like the moderate middle.

      1. It’s defining dumb down.

      2. Are you thinking of the NY Post?

      3. Look, The Post has the best headlines. When Spitzer got bagged, their headline was “HO NO!” Genius.

        1. My favorite one was “WEINER EXPOSED”

        2. They also had the classic “Headless Man Found in Topless Bar.”

      4. Even in terms the NYC paper market that’s not the case. The Voice is the hard left, the Times is center-Left, The News is the center (really everyone there is a Clintonite Democrat stuck in 1997), the Journal is libertarianish conservative, and the Post is populist right.

        1. That sounds about right to me.

        2. So for the average resident of the Hive Manhattan, the NYT is in fact the moderate voice of reasonable discourse.

          1. So for the average resident of the Hive Manhattan, the NYT is in fact the moderate voice of reasonable discourse.


            What a shitty existence it must be to live in NYC if the Times is your moderate voice of reason.

  5. Libertarian paternalism!

    1. Central liberty planning!

        1. Liberty camps!

        2. Ministry of Love?
          wait someone already took that one

  6. Link via the must-follow Twitter feed of Glenn Garvin

    You’re not the boss of me.

    1. I’m just giving you choices….

      1. Look, look, more libertarian fascism! Come see the fascism inherent in libertarianism!

        1. Help! Help! I’m being Orange Line Mafia’d!

      2. We’d obviously have MORE choices if you put the link where we couldn’t find it or get to it without permission. Duh!

  7. Freedom means being free from the consequences of your actions.

    In shielding people in his city from the consequences of unhealthy choices, Bloomburg is giving them more freedom.

    The fewer choices you have, the fewer mistakes you can make, and the freer you are.

    1. I give you a lot of props for the first two sentences.

      1. So I forgot to use the word “consequences” in the third sentence. Whatever, you pedantic cunt.

          1. Good name for a band.

            1. No. It’s probably one of the dumbest names for a band, ever. Once you incorporate the word “cunt” into your band name, you have effectively alienated half of your potential audience. That’s just plain stupid.

              1. Except of radical feminists who reappropriated the C-word.

                1. Who wants radical feminists showing up to their show?

                  1. It could be a radical feminist band; in which case, no one was going to show up anyway.

                    1. Pussy Riot?

  8. Dumbest Headline of the Year: ‘Bloomberg, champion of choice’

    Ha! He made you look!

  9. The author contends, on the one hand:
    People who really wanted to consume 32 ounces of sugar water in one sitting could easily just get up and get a refill. But those who would have consumed the second 16 ounces mindlessly, without the deliberate intention of doing so, would have been given the opportunity to exercise their own better judgment.

    Yet, on the other:
    research on self-control finds that every time people resist temptation ? every time they make a farsighted choice when a nearsighted one was available ? their will power gets depleted, leaving them all the more vulnerable the next time they are exposed to temptation.

    How can these be rectified? Easily:
    Loewenstein is a professor of economics and psychology

    1. What’s the conflict?

      1. Every time someone makes the decision that getting up for a second drink would be too much work, ie resists temptation, it breaks down their ability to continue to do so. Eventually they will reach a point where they are no longer able to not get up for more soda.

        At least, I believe this is what Rich was getting at.

        1. Eventually, I’ll just stand with my head under the soda machine, lips glued to the spout, until my stomach bursts.

      2. In the first snippet, exercising your own better judgment — resisting temptation — is touted as a good thing. In the second, resisting temptation makes you more vulnerable to temptation.

        So, just drink that 32-ounce cup of sugar water and leave your will power undepleted!

    2. People who really wanted to consume 32 ounces of sugar water in one sitting could easily just get up and get a refill.

      It’s not one sitting if you have to get up, dipshit! I mean really.

    3. So I don’t make one Will check for the entire encounter? I have to keep making Will checks until I fail or the encounter ends?

      This game fuckin’ sucks! Fuck Microsoft! *throws console out the window*

      1. Eh the studies on willpower are as bad as the studies on the health effects of salt were. The most recent result is that people who believed they had unlimited amounts of willpower felt good after making decisions and people who believed that they had finite amounts of willpower and that decision fatigue was a real thing felt fatigued.

      2. The ending really sealed that one. Well done

  10. The writer obviously lives in a kuckoo krazy mixed-up world. Some fine logic:

    The fact that so many people want to quit yet so few actually do is testament to the addictive powers of cigarettes, which prevent people from exercising a free, thoughtful choice.

    People choose to smoke but really choose not to smoke but they can’t choose to stop smoking. Nice.

    Clearly, the ban on cigarette displays won’t solve the city’s problem with smoking, which remains the leading cause of preventable death in New York, despite the success of prior policies that have helped to bring down the city’s smoking rate. Nor would the ban on supersized sodas have solved the city’s obesity or diabetes problems.

    Even though these measures won’t work, we should do them anyway! Even though forcing New Yorkers to wear rainbow afro wigs won’t stop smoking, or cure diabetes, we should do it anyway! Ugh.

    1. Good intentions.

    2. the city’s problem with smoking

      Have they tried putting a Nicoderm patch on Queens?

      1. They could just put Chantix in the water supply.

      2. Are there that many trannies in NY?

        1. You have no idea.

          My S-i-L lives off of Christopher Street in the Village. Every weekend, esp. in the summer months, working class drag queens from the outer Boroughs and the Jersey ‘burbs invade the neighborhood and scream their fucking heads off all night, out on the street.

          I’ve heard it myself. It’s like something surreal out of Apocalypse Now.

          1. FUCK YOU, GI!

    3. Government must … (clutches pearls) … do something!

  11. Up is down, left it right, top is bottom, fat is thin, black is white, Bloomberg isn’t a total ignoramus, etc.

  12. Slavery is Freedom

    1. That, too.

    2. “Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.”
      – R. Giuliani

      With freedom comes responsibility, and that responsibility includes obedience to authority.

      Other than Dr Frankenstein, the reason commentariat is doubleplusungood at doublethink.

      1. I’m sorry that I unbellyfeel Ingsoc.

  13. I like Lupica when he talks sports. Otherwise, well, let’s just say he’s entitled to his opinion and leave it at that.

    1. Who’s Lupica?

  14. Jesus Goatfucking Christ, this makes my head hurt.

    1. See, another victim of too many choices!

    2. Careful, you’ll get sued.

      1. Only if Goatfucking is not Jesus’s middle name. You’d need a long form birth certificate to prove or disprove that point.

      2. Only if Goatfucking is not Jesus’s middle name. You’d need a long form birth certificate to prove or disprove that point.

      3. I thought it was ovine fornication that got people in trouble around here?

  15. “Putting cigarettes behind the counter actually increases liberty.”

    Gee, if only Bloomie had required soda to be put behind the counter instead of banning some business from selling them more than 16 oz at a time. /sarc

  16. Just when you think you couldn’t hate Mort Zuckerberg more than you already do, something like this comes along.


  17. I’ll be happy when Lupica pens his own sequel to Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet In Heaven. And I hope he does so in the first person.

    1. I would have thought Mitch Albom and Mike Lupica are two o fthe peope you’d meet in Hell.

  18. Based on this idiotic logic, they can eradicate STD’s and unwanted pregnancies by hiding condoms behind the counter and removing all ads for them. They can also eliminate the need for social services by not advertising them and closing all of the offices in the city. And lastly, they can eliminate crime in NYC by pulling all of the cops off of the streets.

    Well, the third one might actually cut down on the actual assaults, murders and attempted cannibalism, so I’ll remove it from my list.

  19. OT: Russians sometimes make music videos.

      1. Best Russian music video. Ever.

        1. That is the scariest thing I have ever seen. Ever.

          1. After reading about it and thinking it over, it might be the coolest thing ever.

  20. Can we stick the police behind the counter out of sight, so nobody will be tempted to call them for help?

    1. Or stick young the minority males behind the counter out of sight so the cops won’t be tempted to stop and frisk them.

  21. “Dumbest Headline of the Year: ‘Bloomberg, champion of choice'”

    Followed closely behind by:
    “Study: Birds Evolved Shorter Wings To Avoid Cars”

    “Charles Brown of the University of Tulsa has been studying cliff swallows for the past 30 years”



    1. wayneinnh ? 35 minutes ago ?
      One would think they would have evolved enough sense to fly three feet higher.


    2. WTF how did they come to the conclusion that CARS were the cause?

  22. And people actually let themselves be influenced by this shithead. The only response any of these initiatives should get if they’re passed into law is “nah.”

  23. Bloomberg is pro-the-choice-of-his administration-and-city-council.

    Seriously, I wish there were more (any?) editors in the world committed to eliminating all fallacious reasoning by their staff. It would be hard but worthwhile.

  24. I dont think that is gonna work dude.


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