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Politics

Colo. Governor Signs Gun Law, Iraq Citizens Not Feeling the Liberation, Bell Officials Found Guilty of Corruption: P.M. Links

Scott Shackford | 3.20.2013 4:30 PM

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  • Did they check that dome for snipers first?
    Source: Colorado State Web Portal

    As expected, Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has signed into law gun control efforts expanding background checks for gun purchases and limiting the size of ammo magazines. Opponents have called the law unenforceable, some sheriffs across the state have said they'll refuse to enforce it anyway, and a magazine manufacturer in the state has threatened to relocate.

  • Meanwhile, Colorado's prison chief was shot and killed answering his door. There was no sign of a robbery or break-in.
  • As the 10th anniversary of Iraq's "liberation" results in a lot of navel-gazing by Western nations, the actual people in Iraq are not seeing much of the benefits of the country's growing oil exports.
  • In 1991, David Ranta was found guilty of murdering a rabbi in Brooklyn and sentenced to 37.5 years in prison. Now, a prosecutor believes Ranta is innocent and is asking for his release. He may be out as early as Thursday.
  • The former mayor of Bell, Calif., and four former council members were found guilty today of several corruption charges. The former city manager, who officials claim masterminded the misappropriation of city funds to line their pockets, faces a separate trial later this year.
  • Because New Mexico's marriage law does not specify the sex of participants, the mayor of Santa Fe is attempting to argue that gay marriage is legal there and is trying to get county clerks to issue licenses to same-sex couples. 

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NEXT: Pope Francis Has Voiced Support for Civil Unions

Scott Shackford is a policy research editor at Reason Foundation.

Politics
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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Opponents have called the law unenforceable, some sheriffs across the state have said they'll refuse to enforce it anyway, and a magazine manufacturer in the state has threatened to relocate.

    Unenforceable laws are the very best kind.

    1. CatoTheElder   12 years ago

      No really.

      Unenforceable laws actually allow selective enforcement ... which lets police, politicians, and bureaucrats decide whom they wish to harass.

    2. Paul.   12 years ago

      They'll be enforced.

      1. Professional Target   12 years ago

        I have to wonder, the "some sheriffs" refers to all but 2.

        1. Paul.   12 years ago

          Does it? I'm curious to see how this pans out. I have no faith that Colorado will have an unenforced lore on the books.

          1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

            Does this mean they'll force people to believe in Paul Bunyan and Frodo Baggins?

    3. JW   12 years ago

      Unenforceable laws

      If a law is unenforced in the forest, does it make a sound?

    4. Drake   12 years ago

      I hope there is fucking hell to pay for Democrats in CO.

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        By "hell to pay," do you mean getting reelected in droves? After Columbine, that state gave up it's stomach for maintaining their 2A rights. And it's only gotten worse with the migration by assholes from California flooding the place.*

        *Don't blame me. I try to drive them into the ocean, not to other states.

        1. Drake   12 years ago

          I did not realize they had sunk that far down the liberal shit hole.

  2. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Meanwhile, Colorado's prison chief was shot and killed answering his door. There was no sign of a robbery or break-in.

    Sad, but he was killed with one bullet to the chest. So naturally those ammo-capacity limits would have prevented this.

    1. wareagle   12 years ago

      assault doorbells

    2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      I just hope they bring in the LAPD to randomly shoot things until this person is brought to fiery justice.

      1. fish   12 years ago

        You bastard.....now I need a new keyboard!

      2. Loki   12 years ago

        I'm sure the Denver PD was taking notes. This is the same police force that shot a retarded kid in wheel chair because he had a fake knife.

    3. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Sounds like someone was specifically going for him. I wonder how someone who runs a prison system could make some enemies.

      1. Restoras   12 years ago

        Yeah, and be so dumb as too a) realize that, b) arm himself, and c) find out who is at the door first?

        But then again, we are talking career bureaucrat here. If they had any brains...they wouldn't be career bureaucrats.

        1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          And, I mean, I'm not even saying a former prisoner (possesion?) was behind this. These bastards are involved in all kinds of shady contracts and office politics, and potentially make powerful and politically connected enemies.

        2. Death Rock and Skull   12 years ago

          It brings me satisfaction to know just how likeable and harmless and off the radar many public officials perceive themselves to be.

          1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

            I imagine the most satisfaction I could ever get would be a mass firing of millions of bureaucrats, cops and teachers like Reagan did to the traffic control union members. The hardon would never end.

            1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

              And now that the SPLC tallies anti-government ideology as a hate crime, it's all the more satisfying still.

    4. Paul.   12 years ago

      A capacity limit of zero would have stopped this. No one needs more than zero rounds in a clip.

      1. Drake   12 years ago

        No it wouldn't. I can put one in the chamber without any magazine or clip.

    5. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

      Oh no!
      I caught him with a blow to the chest!
      Oh no!
      My hollow put a hole in his vest!
      Oh no!
      I'm 'bout to put two to his dome!
      Oh no!
      Crybabies go home!

      Luda!

    6. Death Rock and Skull   12 years ago

      I'm not going to jump to the conclusion of "sad" unless I have more information on his character.

    7. R C Dean   12 years ago

      If a one-bullet capacity is too high to save this Selfless Public Servant, then clearly we must outlaw all guns that have (or can be modified to have) a capacity of one bullet or more.

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        Death ray pistols can't be developed soon enough.

      2. Bam!   12 years ago

        They'll let you keep your guns but they'll outlaw ammunition.

    8. Jordan   12 years ago

      One shot, eh? Only a bazooka with a bayonet lug and a barrel shroud could have accomplished that.

    9. JW   12 years ago

      **knock-knock** "Who is it?"

      "Ex-con."

      "There's no way I'm opening the door for you. you must think I'm really stupid."

      "Candygram"

      "Oh, that's completely different. I'll just open the door and....AAAAUUUUUGH!!"

  3. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

    More like Governor Dick-in-pooper.

    1. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

      How have I not heard that one before?

    2. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

      Shicklegruber.

  4. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Australia discover's "pre-gaming"

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      The gf and I explained that term to a couple of Danes at SXSW. They thought it a charming Americanism they'd take home with them.

      1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

        What was the best band you saw at SXSW? I saw the pictures you posted. Tell your gf that some anonymous libertarian in California said she was cute. Way to go Brett. 😉

        1. Virginian   12 years ago

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyFwUY5ecOI

          Best thing from SXSW

          1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

            Right hook.

            Thud.

          2. Brett L   12 years ago

            Holy shit. Nice. I didn't see many belligerent assholes. Well, the tiny Russian guy who was too drunk to do anything but stand there and shout, but that was just funny.

          3. Paul.   12 years ago

            Wow, and his ugly hairy mug gets plastered on twitter and facebook the world over. Nice.

          4. Paul.   12 years ago

            Looks like the dude hit him right in the button. Pimp.

            1. Paul.   12 years ago

              Ooh, oooh, and arrested. Watch 'til the end.

          5. gaijin   12 years ago

            dude must have been drinking Monster

            1. Brett L   12 years ago

              They were giving it away one day.

          6. Warty   12 years ago

            You know, the older I get, and the less tolerant I get, and the huger I get, and the better at fighting I get, the less I enjoy being around drunk people. Which is kind of a shame, really.

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          Eagles of Death Metal and Fitz & the Tantrums put on the best shows. EODM is great on album, too. Fitz is less my taste, but okay. The Crystal Method blew up their venue. Tenacious D was fun, and Yahoo was giving away top shelf drinks (thank you, music badge).

          I'll tell the gf, but only after I neg her a little. Can't let her think she's too good looking.

          1. EDG reppin' LBC   12 years ago

            Yeah EODM are awesome. I've seen The Crystal Method a couple of time, and they are alot of fun. Well, fun if you like to take pharmaceuticals and shake your ass all night.

            1. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

              Well, fun if you like to take pharmaceuticals and shake your ass all night.

              Who doesn't like to do that? Are there even other kinds of fun?

          2. R C Dean   12 years ago

            I listened to a lot of Crystal Method awhile back. Nice to hear they are still kickin' it. I'll have to see what they've done recently.

            1. Brett L   12 years ago

              Hope you like dubstep. Its good, but its pretty much dubstep. But they've still got some big beats and they are just fucking awesome DJs.

              1. Emmerson Biggins   12 years ago

                I have no idea what dubstep is. I think I'm going to keep it that way.

                1. TeamBarstool   12 years ago

                  ^^^^ this

          3. Death Rock and Skull   12 years ago

            Its not really a good thing to be the "Eagles" of any kind of music.

            1. Warty   12 years ago

              EODM is great. The name comes from Josh Homme and Jesse The Devil and some of their buddies doing drugs in a van in the desert and listening to Vader, who Josh Homme described as the "Eagles of death metal". So then he and Jesse started a band called that.

      2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        How could they not have figured out this idea themselves already?

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Apparently, they are fully legal to go to any club and drink at 16, so they only do it for two years starting at 14, but didn't have a good term for it.

          1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

            I'm legal to drink now but I still pregame.

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              Why can't you pay $12+ for badly mixed, watered down drinks like the responsible adults?

            2. Brett L   12 years ago

              I rarely do, anymore. But then again, I go to middle brow bars, not clubs. $4 a beer with more alcohol in it than 2 Bud Lights isn't a bad deal.

              1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                I haven't been to a club in about 1.5 years. But it's still way cheaper to drink that strong beer at $2 first. Plus no one is out early enough for me to get drunk at a reasonable time. Takes a lot of drinking.

                1. Brett L   12 years ago

                  Eat less.

          2. np   12 years ago

            Yeah, for most EU countries, it's much lower. Many McDonalds also serve beer and teens legally drinking or buying

  5. Matrix   12 years ago

    Bart Simpson in trouble again.

    Called up in front of Judge Burns.

    1. fish   12 years ago

      Exxxcellant!

  6. Matrix   12 years ago

    Voyager 1 has officially left the solar system becoming the first man-made object to do so.

    Good-bye V-GER.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      He'll be back.

    2. Episiarch   12 years ago

      No, it had to leave the system to become V'GER. So really, this is more like "see you in a few hundred years V'GER".

      1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        The Episiarch Unit is a space pedant.

        1. Episiarch   12 years ago

          V'Ger must evolve. Its knowledge has reached the limits of this universe and it must evolve. What it requires of its god, FoE, is the answer to its question, "Is there nothing more"?

          1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

            If I wanted to get the same message in half the time I'd watch the TOS episode "The Changeling" instead of the turgid Motion Picture.

            1. hamilton   12 years ago

              B-b-bbut Persis Khambatta! Bald dusky Indian beauty queen!

              1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

                I kind of give credit for the movie for her since a bald headed woman being attractive does seem like a futuristic concept.

                1. prolefeed   12 years ago

                  Dunno, googling "beautiful bald women" gives some stunning examples. Course, most of them would likely be even better looking with hair.

                  1. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

                    Dunno, googling "beautiful bald shaved women" gives some stunning examples.

          2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

            I thought you never saw TMP.

            1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

              I tried watching it recently, and by watching I meant I had my laptop open writing a paper while occasionally looking up at the screen.

              1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

                IT WAS THE GREATEST OF ALL THE STAR TREK MOVIES PERIOD. I watch it in my pajamas in solidarity with the actors.

                1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

                  Meh, I don't think it was terrible because at least it tried to be intelligent and stuff. It was really the antidote to Star Wars in that sense.

                  That being said, editing is the soul of cinema for a reason and that movie needed better editing and direction, which is why Wrath of Khan was so good.

                  1. Restoras   12 years ago

                    He tasks me!

                2. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

                  Shatner's favorite is Star Trek IV.

    3. Virginian   12 years ago

      http://www.ejectejecteject.com.....00035.html

      But eventually, they will burn too. The sun will contract to a white dwarf, the inner solar system nothing but black cinders, the outer planets shrunken and frozen corpses. Perhaps fifteen billion years from now, a time as far in the future as time goes into the past, there will be nothing here except a burnt-out and cold white dwarf.

      But somewhere out there, somewhere, there will be four battered, unrecognizable hunks of aluminum and titanium and gold, spinning through deep space, their names recalling the spirit in which they were hurled into the abyss: Pioneer, and Voyager. And the day before the Universe dies, you'll still be able to dimly make out the stripes and star-spangled square, and read the words in the ancient language, from a dead race in the far distant past, when the stars were young and alive: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

      1. Death Rock and Skull   12 years ago

        Libertarians will have to throw some more shit out there then to settle the score.

    4. Tim   12 years ago

      IRS warns that it must still file 1040 form.

    5. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Voyager 1 has officially left the solar system becoming the first man-made object to do so.

      ANNnnnndddd probably the last.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        That's pessimistic. Gradeschoolers are launching more powerful computers than early NASA worked with into the upper atmosphere now. NASA may be useless, but we'll get off this rock eventually.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Also, there's several other ones that are already in space hurtling away. Unless something destroys them all, they'll get out eventually.

        2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          The important thing is that, I'm not going to get off this rock. I'm probably going to be taxed to death, killed by a cop,killed by a cop's dog, die in a war, die in a socialist hospital, get hit by a car on our shit highways, chopped in half in some post-apocalyptic hellworld by some starving mohawked maniac, or some incestuous combination thereof.

          The best I can hope for is being incinerated by an invading alien race. At least I could have seen the potential for life in this fucking universe before they blasted me into quarks. Damn, where's my booze...

          1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

            get hit by a car on our shit highways, chopped in half in some post-apocalyptic hellworld by some starving mohawked maniac, or some incestuous combination thereof.

            Are you planning a trip to visit Warty and Epi or something?

          2. Restoras   12 years ago

            Dude with a name like Drax the Destroyer I don't think anyone is going to mess with you.

          3. Randian   12 years ago

            Gosh Negative Nancy, I can only hope.

            1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

              Eh, I always get a little despondent after going to H & R block and the DMV in the same day.

      2. gaijin   12 years ago

        but if women were objectified in popular media, haven't we already sent 'objects' out from the solar system via Teh Patriarch's airwaves?

      3. Mickey Rat   12 years ago

        No, there is another.

    6. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

      Voyager 1 has officially left the solar system

      Heard that before.

      1. fish   12 years ago

        Yeah but weren't the nouns "Elvis" and "Casino"?

      2. robc   12 years ago

        14000-28000 years before it leaves the Oort Belt, which some consider part of the solar system.

        1. hamilton   12 years ago

          You're no fun anymore.

          1. robc   12 years ago

            When was I fun? I must have missed it.

      3. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        It's bullshit, because it hasn't even come close to leaving. I don't think you can say most of the Oort Cloud is "outside the solar system."

        That said, it's significant and very cool.

        1. JW   12 years ago

          Admit it, you just like saying 'Oort.'

          1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            Who doesn't? Well, except maybe that Kuiper guy.

    7. db   12 years ago

      It's only a matter of time now until the Psychlos pick up that "clanking fortune" and drone murder most of the human race to steal our mining rights to the planet.

  7. Brett L   12 years ago

    Holy shit, a real, live non-FBI created 'Murcan suicide bombing. Fortunately, the dumbass only managed to kill himself.

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      But he was a secret Muslim right?

    2. Capt Ace Rimmer   12 years ago

      That's sad those are the endangered kind.

    3. Matrix   12 years ago

      When are we going to outlaw bombs?! The blood of innocent kids is on the hands of the National Bomb Association!

      1. fish   12 years ago

        The blood of innocent kids is on the hands of the National Bomb Association!

        NBA? Really?

        Plan on a visit from David Sterns attorneys.

      2. hamilton   12 years ago

        You can have my bomb when you pry it from the thousand shattered fragments of my cold dead hands.

    4. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      Yinzers.

      *shakes head

    5. Warty   12 years ago

      William Shaner, 44, was inside the building at time of blast near Pittsburgh

      NOOOOOOOOO RIP THE SHAT

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        You know he's never dying, right? I mean, the guy looks maybe 60 and he's much older than that.

  8. Sevo   12 years ago

    Will CA decide to let people eat what they like?!
    "Will legislative menu include foie gras?"
    "Animal-rights activists and other goose lovers think a state senator is laying tracks to repeal the state's foie gras ban"
    Screw the twits.
    http://blog.sfgate.com/matiera.....foie-gras/

  9. Matrix   12 years ago

    History of insect head transplants

    Weird...

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      if insects ever do mutate into huge monsters, we deserve everything they do to us.

      Word.

      1. Capt Ace Rimmer   12 years ago

        I'm sure I'll be getting pissed on a-lot.

        1. fish   12 years ago

          I'm sure I'll be getting pissed on a-lot.

          Pussy! There's a 30 ft diameter magnifying glass out there with my name on it!

          1. Restoras   12 years ago

            Crap. There's a tanker full of gasoline being poured onto my house and lit on fire in my future.

  10. Matrix   12 years ago

    Blade Runner producers hated the movie

    1. Episiarch   12 years ago

      I've been in a room with Ridley Scott where he said to someone who asked him a dumb question about Blade Runner: "I don't see why you people get so excited over that movie". It was hilarious.

      1. John   12 years ago

        It looked so cool. And it could have been so much better than what it was. One thing that it did get right, with the development of large HD screens, Times Square looks more like Blade Runner than Blade Runner did.

        1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

          How could it have been cooler? I don't understand. Granted I saw only the director's cut. Was it better?

          1. John   12 years ago

            I don't know how you fix it. But it is a great but flawed movie.

            1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

              I don't know how you fix it. But it is a great but flawed movie.

              J.J. Abrams to the rescue!

            2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

              Overrated movie. End of discussion.

              1. Randian   12 years ago

                I concur with FoE.

                1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

                  It isn't overrated, it just maintains a fascination for what it could have been.

                  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

                    Don't any of you know what end of discussion means?

                    1. Professional Target   12 years ago

                      Don't any of you know what end of discussion means?

                      Never heard of it. Song by the Tiger Lilies, perhaps?

                    2. Randian   12 years ago

                      Isn't Tiger Lily Elizabeth Warren's real name?

                    3. Bobarian   12 years ago

                      Does it mean having the last word?

                    4. LarryA   12 years ago

                      That you think you're the Fat Lady?

                2. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

                  You fucking suck. There's nothing overrated about the director's cut.

                  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

                    It's so booooooooooooring.

                    1. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

                      It's so booooooooooooring.

                      The whole enjoyment of the movie is taking in the atmosphere. The story is secondary.

          2. SIV   12 years ago

            The director's cut was drastically better.I stood up and yelled and cursed at the movie screen during the first run. My date was appalled.

            1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

              I don't remember, is it implied that Deckard is a replicant in the director's cut? I never liked that interpretation because it throws off the theme of man vs machine.

              It was infinitely better paced without Ford's turgid narration.

              1. SIV   12 years ago

                In the original movie Deckard and Rachel are immortal and happily fly off to a verdant world populated by real owls.

                1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

                  Good lord I am glad I only watched the director's cut.

              2. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

                Not really; the implication is tenuous. If you're watching with that theory in mind, you can kind of see how the movie might be hinting at that, but it's never blatant about it, to the point where it's probably mostly in the viewer's head.

                1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

                  That would be in regards to Deckard possibly being a replicant.

      2. Professional Target   12 years ago

        "I don't see why you people get so excited over that movie".

        SF without a robot chimp or a gay robot or a whistling fire hydrant on wheels, or some similar silly-ass thing. That's why.

        1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

          +1

      3. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        I think it was a fine film, and I don't think it's overrated at all.

        1. SIV   12 years ago

          I liked the original movie (after the first viewing)I just wouldn't watch that horrible ending. I had no idea Scott was in no way responsible for that abomination until the recut was released.

      4. Killazontherun   12 years ago

        For me, it all comes down to Rutger Hauer's performance. There is just nothing like that character. You are a kid growing up in the 80's, who is your role model? The dumbass that Mel Gibson plays in Lethal Weapon? Air Jock Tom Cruise with absolutely no control over his own destiny? Or Roy Batty?

  11. Matrix   12 years ago

    Masshole Principal calls of Honor Night because it could hurt the feelings of kids who don't have high GPAs.
    Participation ribbons for everyone!

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      However, [the principal] plans to include the honors ceremony with a previously planned end of the year assembly

      OK.....

    2. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

      Mediocrity is the new normal.

    3. Capt Ace Rimmer   12 years ago

      I like this guy. The dog ate my homework too.

    4. Zeb   12 years ago

      What the fuck? We have to pretend everyone is smart now? I thought the kids with low GPAs were just supposed to make up for it by having cooler cars ad getting laid more.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        That was when cars and gas were affordable to kids in the VocEd track.

    5. gaijin   12 years ago

      feelings. what about the feelings of the superior students who will not have their shiny plaque or ribbon? who will emote for their loss?

    6. Doctor Whom   12 years ago

      Dear educrats:

      "Harrison Bergeron" was meant as a satire, not an instruction manual.

      Love,
      Sensible people

  12. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

    the actual people in Iraq the USA are not seeing much of the benefits of the country's growing oil exports.

    But I guess Reason is in concert with the notion of spreading the wealth around.

    1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

      That was my reaction.

    2. Zeb   12 years ago

      It's a little different when the government is in charge of the oil exploration. In that case, I think spreading the wealth around is preferable to keeping it all with your cronies. Though even more preferable woudl be to allow private industry to develop the oil fields so Iraq isn't doomed to being yet another oil rich shithole forever.

  13. Jingles   12 years ago

    Threatened to relocate? Magpul already confirmed that they'll have Pmag production out of the state by sometime this summer.

    1. Matrix   12 years ago

      They should also refuse to do business with the state government.

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        My favorite thing is that I heard they are only selling to PMags to CO residents from now up until the ban goes into effect.

  14. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Who will compete for this year's Garage Bowl?

  15. Brett L   12 years ago

    Bolshoi ballet was giant brothel for oligarchs. Goddam, that place sounds like the KGB in the bad old days.

    "The girls were forced to go along to grand dinners and given advance warning that afterwards they would be expected to go to bed and have sex," she alleged.

    ...

    The allegations were put to Iksanov during a news conference at the theatre on Tuesday, to which he responded: "I don't comment on dirt and ravings."

    ....

    It is the latest in a series of controversial events surrounding the world famous Russian theatre, which has become notorious for infighting and rivalry.

    One of its top dancers, Pavel Dmitrichenko, is facing trial for allegedly ordering an acid attack on the ballet's artistic director Sergei Filin in January.

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      It's good to be the king pinko apparatchik!

      John would hate it. Sarcasmic and I would duel with broken Stoly bottles.

      1. John   12 years ago

        Why would I hate it? I love dancers. Sarcasmic would think they were too fat. But not me.

        1. Restoras   12 years ago

          Well ballet dancers aren't exactly curvy, but I'm sure we can find one with B-cups for you.

          1. John   12 years ago

            Jennifer Love Hewitt was a ballet dancer.

            1. Restoras   12 years ago

              Perhaps but I think it was long before she developed that rack.

              1. John   12 years ago

                Nah. She just tied that rack down when she danced. Some of them have racks, they just don't show them.

                1. Professional Target   12 years ago

                  No ballet dancer I ever knew needed more than a B, and I lived close to the Shenandoah Suppository Conservatory (now "University") of Music and Dance. The trick there was intel on when the girl had broken up last. Two to five weekends after was the sweet spot, especially if you showed up for a performance.

                2. Bobarian   12 years ago

                  She probably gave herself black eyes, thus the need to quit.

            2. JW   12 years ago

              Dancers will out-crazy any actress, any time, any day of the week.

              I have no idea why this is, but I have had this confirmed repeatedly by ex-dancer friends and my buds in the performing arts.

              1. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

                ^Dancers will out-crazy any actress, any time, any day of the week^

                THIS. And, no, I'm not talking about the 'exotic' kind.

  16. Brett L   12 years ago

    IMF head's flat raided in France over corruption ties.

    1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      Did someone shoot his dog?

      1. Rich   12 years ago

        *her* dog, you Philistine!

        1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          Didn't read it Rich. I went to public school. I don't know how to read. Or use a computer.

          1. gaijin   12 years ago

            one look at Christine Lagard and 'it' might seem the proper gender.

  17. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    'Friend zone' added to the dictionary, your obligatory reminder that the term is a chauvinistic phrase used by social retards.

    Obviously, there is no need to adopt a blanket policy of shooting down all offers with cruelty. Many men have the social graces to take a hint and don't need you to be insulting in order to move along with no animus in their hearts. With a little practice, a lady can tell the difference between men with these social graces and men who are going to complain online about what a heartless friend-zoner you are.

    I don't necessarily disagree with her assessment, but at the same time she seems annoyed at the thought that when a guy asks a girl out in a polite, non-creepy manner the girl must be obligated to give a direct answer instead of punting with the 'let's just be friends' crap, as if even a friendship was that easy.

    I think in that situation the Silver Rule would apply: don't respond to the person in a way that you yourself would not like someone to respond if you were in their situation.

    1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      Their irritation with the "friendzone" designation merely demonstrates that they want all the emotional benefits of a relationship without any of the obligations, and that they prefer to collect "friends" like they would stuffed animals rather than forming anything particularly meaningful.

      1. Matrix   12 years ago

        I must admit that I have done my fair share of friendzoning people.

        So maybe what I am about to say is a bit of projection:

        It does exist. I have strung girls along, knowing that they wanted more out of me than just being a friend. I have done things that would signal an intent at more as well as giving verbal hints that I wanted more than just being friends. In the end, I gave them the whole "let's just be friends" routine.

        Yes, I'm an asshole for it. But I didn't use any of them for sex, so no FWB thing existed

        So for people who say that friendzoning is a myth, it's not. Women and men do it.

        1. John   12 years ago

          Try getting married. Then all you do is friendzone. I have a huge number of female friends.

          1. Killazontherun   12 years ago

            I wouldn't say a huge number, but I've kept a few gal pals around from my single years to keep me grounded. I miss a few of the other ones I haven't seen in years more than ex-girlfriends and an ex-wife I lived with.

        2. JW   12 years ago

          t does exist. I have strung girls along, knowing that they wanted more out of me

          Same here.

          But I didn't use any of them for sex

          Oh. Never mind.

    2. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

      It implies that, as the object is at fault for "putting" her admirer into the friend zone, it is her duty to do something to remove him from it, preferably by getting naked.

      No, it doesn't. It implies disappointment. It's not that complicated.

      Red flags to look out for: inordinate amounts of time spent on Reddit, My Little Pony paraphernalia in his home or on his Facebook page, a tendency to use terms like alpha and beta male, and a paranoid belief that women in Princess Leia costumes have set out to destroy him. Naturally, such a group of men in no way encompasses all of male geekdom, which is full of men who manage to have both comic-book collections and the ability to understand that they aren't owed a woman's attention.

      It's always nice to see that Marcotte's rhetoric is at the level of a schoolyard bully.

      1. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

        It implies that, as the object is at fault for "putting" her admirer into the friend zone, it is her duty to do something to remove him from it, preferably by getting naked

        No, it doesn't. It implies disappointment. It's not that complicated.

        Also, it's not like people don't constantly categorize each other all the time. X is in my "co-worker" bucket, Y is in my "co-worker with whom I'm also friends" bucket, Z is in my "person I avoid at all costs" bucket, L is in my "person I fuck" bucket...etc. I don't know. It's incredibly stupid; it just doesn't have anywhere near as much baggage in my mind as these folks seem to think.

      2. Episiarch   12 years ago

        Why does it strike me that someone complaining about this is probably not having it happen very much? As in, she really doesn't have very many dudes who she has to friendzone? Because this screams that to me.

        1. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

          Thing is, Marcotte could never afford to friendzone somebody.

          It comes back to jealousy.

          ...and syphilis?

        2. Coeus   12 years ago

          As in, she really doesn't have very many dudes who she has to friendzone? Because this screams that to me.

          To me, it says she does it a lot, and also needs to move sometime in the near future.

        3. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

          You may be on to something.

          1. Virginian   12 years ago

            Wait, a strident man hating feminist is homely at best? No fucking way.

      3. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

        "No, it doesn't. It implies disappointment. It's not that complicated."

        It is for a person who doesn't have separate concepts for "things I want" and "things to which I feel I am entitled", e.g., Amanduh Marcotte.

    3. Brett L   12 years ago

      I don't know why the "friendzone" is chauvanistic. Men don't have one.

      1. Matrix   12 years ago

        I do, and as I mentioned above, I've put girls there several times.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          Ah. Its always been far easier for me to just say, "You're a nice person I'm not interested in dating. I don't think we should hang out one-on-one as often as we have been."

          But I'm not a real one-on-one person. I'd rather go to a bar where I know everyone unless I'm on a date.

          1. Matrix   12 years ago

            Not for me. I'm often wishy-washy about relationship prospects. So I often do want to be able to leave the door open for a possibility. Also, I genuinely want to be their friends. It's not always the case that I don't find them attractive. It's that I didn't want a relationship with them or anyone at various times.

    4. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      I think the key issue here is that when they say "Let's just be friends," they really mean, "Oh fuck, this ugly bastard wants to fuck me. I hope to god I can avoid him for the rest of my days. Maybe he'll die in a car accident...yes that would work out well for me..."

      All of the lies and consternation and anxiety could be discarded if they would just say "I don't like you and I don't want you anywhere near my holes."

      Problem Solved.

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        Well, the exact phrase "let's just be friends" is clearly recognizable as a brush off. The friendzone refers more to lines like "I'm really not ready to date right now, but I do really like you". Which is of course, a lie. But she loves the attention she gets.

        Of course, guys who complain about the friendzone are idiots because it's a two way street. If you simply never shower attention, compliments, time or energy on a girl who is not available to you sexually, then you won't be in the friendzone. The friendzone is not a kidnapping, it's a fucking mousetrap. Don't walk into it, and you won't be in it.

        1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

          "simply never shower attention, compliments" etc.

          also, i found that just avoiding her after she said "no" seemed to make her reconsider. YMMV.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            Yes. Not hanging around after getting the brush off is the sign of self-esteem, which all people seem to find sexy.

            1. Coeus   12 years ago

              Yes. Not hanging around after getting the brush off is the sign of self-esteem, which all people seem to find sexy.

              That doesn't explain why avoiding her before you get the brush off works as well. It's more about the lack of attention means you have more options. Social-proof theory of mating.

              Oh, and Virginian:

              The friendzone is not a kidnapping, it's a fucking mousetrap. Don't walk into it, and you won't be in it.

              Nailed it.

            2. Virginian   12 years ago

              Alpha is sexy, beta is not. Women use shit tests to screen the betas out from the alphas. I slapped a girl yesterday, like Gibbs does on NCIS, for cussing around a child. She apologized to me twice via text message, and asked me what I'm doing tonight. I didn't respond, except for a cursory aloof text from the second apology, and she just texted me again to tell me where she would be, in case I was going out.

              1. Coeus   12 years ago

                I slapped a girl yesterday, like Gibbs does on NCIS, for cussing around a child.

                Careful with that. First whiff of beta she gets, she might be on the phone with johnny law. Your game had better be tight.

                1. Virginian   12 years ago

                  Nah, this girl doesn't have an ounce of bitch in her. She really is the sweetest little thing. I'm having to ruthlessly squash all my nice guy instincts and really keep the upper hand.

                2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

                  He already did when he showed he cared for the welfare of a child. She wont sick Johny law on him, she'll just throw a sucking mammary over his shoulder and pass over the kid to him.

              2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

                I slapped a girl yesterday, like Gibbs does on NCIS, for cussing around a child.

                What a tea-totaler. If my children aren't dropping F-bombs by three and financing their own porn companies by the time they are legal, I am a failure as a parent.

                1. Virginian   12 years ago

                  Ha, wasn't my kid. I just used it as an opportunity to get her attention. See, because the default approach of most guys is that wheedling whining tone. So if they had commented at all it would have been "Hey whoa not so loud, there's like, kids around, you know....not that I care, I mean whatever but you know." Weak, pussy shit like that.

                  I gave her the Gibbs smack, said "There's kids around, what's wrong with you?" shook my head slightly, got up and walked away. She's fucking smitten.

              3. Zeb   12 years ago

                You know what's really unsexy? Using words like "alpha" and "beta" to refer to people.

                1. Virginian   12 years ago

                  It's not alpha/beta in the sense of a wolf pack or a chimpanzee...herd? pack?...idk. It's basically "I am the valuable one, I'm doing her a favor by fucking/dating/marrying her" versus "Wow, I'm so lucky she's letting me fuck/date/marry" her.

                  You can think the latter in your head all you want, but if you act like it, you're doomed.

                  1. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                    Yeah, you're doing her a huge fucking favor by hitting her over some words that you apparently ascribe magical powers to.

                    1. Virginian   12 years ago

                      I couldn't care less about the cussing. It's just a way to get her in bed.

                      I used to be a nice guy, I used to ask for dates, and I never pressured a girl to go further then she wanted to. I was a perfect fucking gentleman.

                      Since I started acting like a massive asshole to women, I've gotten more tail then I previously could have dreamed about. I'm not up on the Luda level of hos in different area codes, but I think I could if I wanted to take the time.

                      The thing about this shit is, and I say this as someone who tried it both ways, it works. I don't pay for meals, I don't get emotionally invested, or shop for the perfect gifts, or treat girls like a princess. Instead I hang out with them and don't ever pay for their drinks or coffee or whatever. I don't buy gifts, ever. I tell them to stop bothering me when they get sappy and emotional. I treat them like slightly amusing pets. As a result, I'm actually getting as much sex as I want for the first time in my decade of sexual activity.

                      So what does it say about women in general? I mean, I don't think I've just been lucky enough to encounter the minority of women who respond positively to being a sarcastic, judgmental, aloof, condescending bastard. That 50 Shades book sold ten million copies in this country. Just saying.

                    2. Episiarch   12 years ago

                      Virginian, you know that there are those of us who get laid without treating women like shit, right? You see, I like women. I don't want to treat them like shit.

                      Maybe you should think about that.

                    3. Virginian   12 years ago

                      Different strokes for different folks man. I tried it the niceguy way, now I'm trying it this way. Experimenting, I guess you'd say.

                    4. Episiarch   12 years ago

                      I didn't say anything about being a nice guy. Do I seem like a nice guy to you? But going from milquetoast (as you seem to describe your previous "methods") to face-slapping is kind of ridiculous. You think you've found the pattern, when all you've found is how to never have a meaningful relationship because you won't respect whoever you're with. And no actual self-respecting woman is going to go near you.

                    5. Virginian   12 years ago

                      Gibbs slap (YouTube it), not a face slap. It wasn't hard, it's just meant to set that frame of "yeah, I struck you. No I'm not going to apologize, because I'm right and you're wrong." Not that I was right in a cosmic or moral sense of course.

                      Who says I want a meaningful relationship? Maybe I just want to have lots of sex with a few different girls for the first time in my life. I am enjoying that part a lot. It's like you lived your whole life with a perfect nutritional plan of 2000 calories a day, and now someone just unlocked the Vegas buffet for you. You're going to hit the Belgian waffles as much as possible.

                    6. Episiarch   12 years ago

                      You seem to be missing the point that one can have sex with different girls without being a collectivizing ass. Or without striking them when they haven't asked you to. If you have to become an ass to get some ass, you might want to rethink your strategy.

                    7. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                      I'm baffled y'all haven't worked out some kind of straight Grindr. This whole conversation seems like a dizzying amount of effort for NSA tail.

                    8. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

                      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

                      Takes breath.

                      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

                    9. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

                      Sorry, that was for Epi's:

                      Virginian, you know that there are those of us who get laid without treating women like shit, right? You see, I like women. I don't want to treat them like shit.

                    10. Coeus   12 years ago

                      So what does it say about women in general? I mean, I don't think I've just been lucky enough to encounter the minority of women who respond positively to being a sarcastic, judgmental, aloof, condescending bastard. That 50 Shades book sold ten million copies in this country. Just saying.

                      I find it best not to think about it. It colors my reactions with women I'm not trying to bang. Same way I don't think about violent crime stats and race at work.

                      positively to being a sarcastic, judgmental, aloof, condescending bastard.

                      Be careful with that shit. I've had friends who decided to use it and it became a way of life. As a result, they are insufferable to be around. If you can't put it on and take it off like a coat, take a step back. Easy pussy is not a good substitute for having friends.

                    11. Virginian   12 years ago

                      Yeah I've definitely noticed the game face coming out at times it would be very inappropriate. Like when I'm talking to one of my bosses and they say something kind of dumb.

                    12. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                      I treat them like slightly amusing pets. As a result, I'm actually getting as much sex as I want for the first time in my decade of sexual activity.

                      So what does it say about women in general?

                      Regardless of what it says about women, it says that you are not looking to have sex with other people, i.e., actual moral agents. And frankly, I don't really care what gets you laid; if it involve slapping people who haven't previously agreed to be slapped it is wrong. Oh but it's okay because you're just slapping a pet! Sorry, I forgot.

                    13. Virginian   12 years ago

                      I don't think I ever claimed to be acting in a moral or righteous manner. This whole experiment is in large part about suppressing my moral strictures to see what the results of doing so are.

                      But if she wanted to press charges, or hit me back, or yell at me, or tell me that if she ever saw me again she would press charges, then she would be well within her rights to do that. So why didn't she? I'm genuinely curious here, because I half did this as a joke and I am kind of unsettled by how much positive feedback she's giving me. I mean, it's fun to have this level of interest, but I did hit her, something I've never done to any girl before outside of the actual bedroom. It's rather....strange.

                    14. Episiarch   12 years ago

                      So the lesson you're learning here is that it potentially gets you pussy, and not that you've now graduated to striking women as an experiment? I'll repeat myself: you might want to think about what that means.

                    15. Coeus   12 years ago

                      I mean, it's fun to have this level of interest, but I did hit her, something I've never done to any girl before outside of the actual bedroom. It's rather....strange.

                      Dark arts, man. Remember, the draw of the darkside is that it's easier to obtain power. The downside is that it's fucking evil.

                    16. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                      So why didn't she? I'm genuinely curious here, because I half did this as a joke and I am kind of unsettled by how much positive feedback she's giving me.

                      I don't know why she didn't. Apparently she thinks on some level it's okay for someone to do what you did. Even positive. Do you really want that? You say you are unsettled. You should be. I would be unsettled if I did something I knew was wrong even if the consequences were good.

                      My second question below was directed at you, just to be clear (mostly to be clear that it wasn't directed at Coeus). In any case, experimenting in suppressing your moral strictures just sounds like...acting immorally and in full consciousness of that fact. For funsies.

                    17. Warty   12 years ago

                      In any case, experimenting in suppressing your moral strictures just sounds like...acting immorally and in full consciousness of that fact. For funsies.

                      Yes. Stop hitting women.

                    18. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

                      Yes. Stop hitting women.

                      But... but... SEX!

                    19. Virginian   12 years ago

                      An excellent point. I'm trying to take it easy with this thing, but it's really really hard not to. It's just so easy to get laid now, and all I have to do is pretend to be what most would call a terrible person. So there's this whole "how long can you wear the mask before it becomes your real face" type thing.

                    20. Coeus   12 years ago

                      So there's this whole "how long can you wear the mask before it becomes your real face" type thing.

                      If you can't pull it off, back off. Seriously. Dying friendless is not worth it. One of my friends fell off the tight-rope and backed off, but kept a few skills. He's very happy with his life now. Two of my friends fell off the tight-rope, and wore the mask full time. They fight constantly with everyone and are miserable often.

                      I'm still managing to walk the line, but it requires being always vigilant, and you absolutely must not sacrifice your principles for sex. Draw a line and don't cross it. Everyone's line is different, but I find the NAP is a good place to start.

                    21. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                      It's just so easy to get laid now, and all I have to do is pretend to be what most would call a terrible person.

                      I get it. It would be easy for me to get knocked up and live on welfare and child support, and that wouldn't even make me what "most would call a terrible person." But it would make me what I would call a terrible person. So, you know, I don't do it. Following your own morality seems like a good place to start.

                    22. prolefeed   12 years ago

                      So what does it say about women in general?

                      It doesn't say anything about women in GENERAL. It says a buttload about you, and your desire to have emotionless sex with women with low esteem.

                      I personally prefer to get all the tail I want with my GF, and enjoy her company for the 99%+ of the time when my penis isn't in her vagina.

                  2. ant1sthenes   12 years ago

                    So, the first step in being an alpha is to Demonstrate Value. Anything else?

                2. Coeus   12 years ago

                  You know what's really unsexy? Using words like "alpha" and "beta" to refer to people.

                  Doesn't matter, we're not trying to bang you.

              4. Professional Target   12 years ago

                Loneliness is the ultimate Friend Zone qualification. When I was single I always made sure to have women friends who were just friends, thus the ultimate wingmen.

                1. Virginian   12 years ago

                  Yep, make friends with her friends, and most importantly, flirt shamlessly and openly with her friends.

                  1. prolefeed   12 years ago

                    Yep, make friends with her friends, and most importantly, flirt shamlessly and openly with her friends.

                    While ignoring her, or giving her negs.

                    That is, if you're into being a player with lots of game instead of a good human being.

                    1. Coeus   12 years ago

                      That is, if you're into being a player with lots of game instead of a good human being.

                      Don't go all TAO/Randian on us here, prolefeed. The two are not mutually exclusive. There is nothing morally wrong with doing that. If it works, it's obvious she values emotional drama over stability. Your giving her what she wants. I she doesn't, you just don't do it. No moral conflict involved.

                    2. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                      Your giving her what she wants. I she doesn't, you just don't do it. No moral conflict involved.

                      Presumably you have a way of finding out before hitting her?

                      I'm not sure what kind of person realizes anarchy is moral because no matter what goodies the state might offer, coercion and theft are just plain wrong, but doesn't realize that personal violence is just plain wrong even if it gets you a bunch of sex?

                    3. Coeus   12 years ago

                      Presumably you have a way of finding out before hitting her?

                      I don't non-consensually, and I don't even do that outside of the bedroom. I was referring to flirting with her friends.

                      You're conflating two different conversations here.

                    4. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

                      You're conflating two different conversations here.

                      Okay, it appears you are right, I'm sorry.

                    5. Coeus   12 years ago

                      Okay, it appears you are right, I'm sorry.

                      No problem. It's an emotional topic, and I have been siding with Virginian on just about everything else. I just draw the line at violating the NAP. Obviously, violating the NAP can be very beneficial to those who do it, but that doesn't make it right.

                    6. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

                      There is nothing "alpha" or manly about hitting a woman and treating her like shit. It's one of the problems with the whole binary alpha and beta crap. It is quite possible to be a gentleman and not a pussy at the same time.

                    7. Warty   12 years ago

                      I think we've learned a valuable lesson here today: Don't hit women, unless it gets you laid. In that case, beat the shit out of that cunt and get some neck tattoos.

                    8. Virginian   12 years ago

                      Pshhh, I saw a guy with a scorpion tattooed on his face today. He laughs at neck tattoos.

              5. Tejicano   12 years ago

                I am a bit on the fence with this one. Granted. I have never laid a finger on a woman in the 54 years I have walked this earth. But the crap I have put up with due to being legally bound ? and currently with the added responsibility for two little boys ? just puts the whole issue in a different light for me.

                I am not supporting real, non-defensive violence against others ? and I think that this tap to the back of the head is rather small potatoes in that context. However I somewhat support Virginian's experiment to figure out the dimensions of this "male power" he has recently discovered. As long as he doesn't lose control and finds a good balance in the end it may be the most direct course to a useful understanding of the reality of the male/female dynamic.

            3. AuH20   12 years ago

              ^ This shit, this shit right here, is why I date online. So much more direct, so much less of this weird ass bullshit with alphas and betas and upper hands.

              Online dating people- just fucking do it already!?

        2. Zeb   12 years ago

          And sometimes a girl does actually want to be friends, but not date you. Really. But I suppose in that case you probably are already friends.

          1. prolefeed   12 years ago

            Well, yeah. Women are capable of liking someone as a friend who they would never let fuck them.

            Course, if she lets you fuck her, then later says she wants to be friends and not fuck, she's probably shining you on.

      2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

        The girls who don't want anything to do with you, or who actually want to be friends aren't the problem. The problem is the ones who want to emotional part of a romantic relationship but nothing else. E.g. who don't want to date, but want to IM you every night so they can cry on your shoulder about how their boyfriend is cheating on them.

        1. Coeus   12 years ago

          The problem is the ones who want to emotional part of a romantic relationship but nothing else. E.g. who don't want to date, but want to IM you every night so they can cry on your shoulder about how their boyfriend is cheating on them.

          Exactly. But as Virginian said above, you have only yourself to blame for falling into it. This needs to be taught to all teenage boys. It would eliminate the vast majority of male teenage resentment towards women. The root of almost everything wrong with relations between the sexes is having an external locus of control.

          1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

            Thankfully it hasn't happened to me in quite some time, but when I was young and stupid, I was young and stupid. Although I will admit to my shame that in hindsight it took me a disturbingly long time to catch on to what was going on.

            1. Coeus   12 years ago

              Same here.

    5. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

      I do not avoid women, Marcotte...but I do deny them my essence.

      1. John   12 years ago

        Marcotte is the worst of the lot over there. At least Jessica Wakeman is into kinky sex. What virtues does Marcotte have?

        1. fish   12 years ago

          What virtues does Marcotte have?

          She absolutely refuses to have sex with libertarians!

          That's a huge plus in my estimation.

        2. Thane of Whiterun   12 years ago

          Well, the unusually non-retarded (for Slate, at least) comments she's elicited restore my faith in humanity a tiny bit.

    6. mr simple   12 years ago

      Damn you for making me give page hits to and read part of an Amanda Marcotte article! I got just into the second paragraph and thought "Wow, this is asinine drivel. Is this a Marcotte article?" I checked and sure enough it was.

    7. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      s mostly a straight-male phenomenon based on the widespread sexist belief that straight men can never truly be friends with women without having an ulterior motive.) I

      Sexist belief?

      Absolute fact. Why in the name of god would you want to hang out with a woman if you weren't getting any? It's hard enough when you are.

  18. Brett L   12 years ago

    Feck. My office is right down from the Capitol and I completely forgot that some Christian Conservative guy does his radio broadcast from the office next door. Ugh. Go back to Central FL, asshole.

  19. Paul.   12 years ago

    . Opponents have called the law unenforceable, some sheriffs across the state have said they'll refuse to enforce it anyway, and a magazine manufacturer in the state has threatened to relocate

    *Yawn* Welcome to your new restrictions, Colorado.

  20. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

    The former mayor of Bell, Calif., and four former council members were found guilty today of several corruption charges.

    A good start, but will they be drawn and quartered?

  21. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Britain to lealize three-parent baby (Sperm, donor's egg, mother's nucleus).

    I see hope for our quest to engineer a race of libertarians. Five times your strength and twice your intelligence!

    1. Andrew S.   12 years ago

      I'm so glad I'm a Beta.

    2. Restoras   12 years ago

      So how long before the Race of Men becomes more akin to the Dunedain? And can we get some Elves, and some Dwarves going too?

  22. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    If you care here is Obama's bracket.

    1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

      he could be spending his time doing worse things, live governing

    2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      Ugh, he has the same final I do. Mother fucker. Except I have Louisville winning. I feel unclean somehow.

      This may be the toughest bracket I've even done, because I don't feel comfortable with very many picks at all. Last year was a breeze.

    3. Killazontherun   12 years ago

      If it comes down to Miami/Indiana, Miami is going to wipe the floor with them. If not stopped before that round, Miami all the way.

  23. Death Rock and Skull   12 years ago

    "Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has signed into law gun control efforts expanding background checks for gun purchases and limiting the size of ammo magazines"

    When God legalizes pot, he also shoots a puppy.

    1. Rich   12 years ago

      Similar things going down in the so-called "Free State", Maryland.

      Except pot ain't legal and the gun-grabbing is worse.

    2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

      I think there are still enough people who respect 2A in CO for this to have consequences for the pols who pushed this.

  24. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

    Go take a nap, fatty

    1. Capt Ace Rimmer   12 years ago

      Turns out I'm exercising when I'm sleeping on the couch.

      1. Capt Ace Rimmer   12 years ago

        or dieting

  25. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Kate Upton responds to 17-year old's request to go to his prom with a maybe.

    1. Archduke Pantsfan   12 years ago

      "we'll see" always means no

      1. Anonymous Coward   12 years ago

        He got friend-zoned.

        1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

          Even that would be an accomplishment that would give him serious man cred with his friends.

          1. Brett L   12 years ago

            Its a good exercise. You see some hot girl at a party and think, "Fuck it, I've been told no by Kate Upton and the whole internet saw it, what can this bitch do to me?"

            1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

              Never underestimate the ability of hot girls to fuck you over. For instance, there's always the classic stood up in front of everyone.

              1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

                Well, if Kate Upton were to do that, it would be okay for him to tell the press that she didn't show up because he made a comment about not liking so much anal sex when they were in bed together.

    2. Killazontherun   12 years ago

      So pretty, I want to watch Warty nail her.

      http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-conten.....bit-lb.jpg

      1. Warty   12 years ago

        She looks distressingly like my little sister. So, yes.

    3. thom   12 years ago

      Ugh. I hate celebrities going to prom with average high school kids season.

  26. CampingInYourPark   12 years ago

    "the actual people in Iraq are not seeing much of the benefits of the country's growing"

    "But Nuri's complaint is a common one among ordinary Iraqis, a quarter of whom are reckoned to live in poverty and as many as a third are thought to be unemployed or underemployed, based on unofficial estimates."

    I reckon it's thought that this might be sort of useful information, at some point.

    1. John   12 years ago

      Funny, the people are not benefiting from growth, yet they would be the first ones to suffer if the growth stopped.

      1. Chris Mallory   12 years ago

        Not having the US bombing basic infrastructure is a big help. Iraqi Christians were better off under Saddam. The NeoCons will roast in hell for what they did to Iraq.

        1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

          And it's only Christians that matter right?

  27. John   12 years ago

    http://www.infowars.com/chines.....ed-people/

    KAHHHNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

    1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

      They'll need to find an Indian person as stock. Well Mexican-Indian, that is.

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        They appear to be recruiting at academic conferences from throughout the world.

        1. John   12 years ago

          then I don't think they are in danger of producing the Superman any time soon.

          1. Tejicano   12 years ago

            I was wondering when this was going to happen.

            Anybody else here notice that SARS was only lethal to people of Han-Chinese descent? It seems pretty freaking unusual that a natural virus could be that selective. In fact, you would almost expect that something like that had been engineered even if the selectivity was not intentional.

            So I guess the next time the PRC tries to develop a bio-weapon they would want to have some non-Han-Chinese material to work with too.

      2. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

        They will offer the world ORDER.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          Better make sure they get into a 3D school.

        2. T   12 years ago

          Whereas you simply offer ODOR.

      3. Killazontherun   12 years ago

        Lisa Shah. Father was from India, mother from the Navajo rez in Arizona. A total cutie. I tried looking her up on Facebook for you guys, but didn't find that LS.

    2. Rich   12 years ago

      And what's more, the China-based eugenics factory recently bought up a large genome research institute in the United States, giving the Chinese access to the DNA of Americans.

      If you thought Stuxnet was bad, wait'll you see what we sneak into that DNA.

  28. Loki   12 years ago

    As expected, Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has signed into law gun control efforts expanding background checks for gun purchases and limiting the size of ammo magazines.

    Well he can forget about getting my vote for re-election next year. He probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway, but now instead of not voting at all I'll vote for whoever the Rupeblicans put up against him.

    1. John   12 years ago

      I would like to believe that he signed his own political death warrant, if for no other reason than the hope that I never have to hear the horrible sounding word "Hickenlooper" again.

      1. Loki   12 years ago

        Unfortunately this is Colorado, which has basically become California with more ski resorts now, so he'll probably be re-elected in a landslide. I think it's time for me to start looking for jobs in Texas.

        1. Cytotoxic   12 years ago

          Oh God really!?!?! COLORADO? This is worse than losing Reach.

          1. AuH20   12 years ago

            It's as bad as losing the first 4 Babylon stations!

  29. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    So my ex just told me that she's got mono. Which is weird since we were still dating during the incubation period and I haven't ever had it. I guess I'll have to keep my eye on my health. And too bad for that Canadian chick in Dublin.

    1. John   12 years ago

      You just come on here to torture us married people don't you?

      1. hamilton   12 years ago

        +1. Appease us with pictures at least, so we can dream.

        1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

          I never actually caught her name, let alone got a picture. But honestly you'd rather have pictures of the ex.

          1. Bobarian   12 years ago

            We don't care, make something up!

      2. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Yeah, make you guys all jealous of my (maybe) mono. Suck it!

    2. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

      Well I guess that answers my question about what happened with that. I hope you don't get sick.

    3. Episiarch   12 years ago

      Doesn't your herpes keep the mono away?

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        Maybe that's why I haven't gotten it yet!

      2. mr simple   12 years ago

        So you're saying he's indestructible.

    4. Brett L   12 years ago

      And too bad for that Canadian chick in Dublin.

      That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth.

      1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

        It seemed like a logical place to start. But she'll have all that free healthcare anyway, right?

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          "Listen, I have this thing about kissing women on the mouth, but if there's anywhere else you'd like my tongue, you just tell me."

  30. Coeus   12 years ago

    More feminist bullshit on protective orders and the 2nd amendment.

    She hits all the talking points:

    Contrary to the NRA's arguments about women and guns, guns do not protect women or keep us safe. They are used by abusers to kill us. Nonetheless, the NRA has fought back against legislation that mandates the removal of guns in domestic violence disputes.

    Even if you accept that individual gun ownership is a constitutional right - a position that I think suggests you did not read the first half of the Second Amendment, but is currently the law of the land - all rights have limits. The right to free speech, for example, does not include the right to yell "fire!" in a crowded theatre, or disseminate harmful and knowingly false information about a private citizen. Freedom and liberty are fundamental rights, but they can be curtailed by a court of law

    cont...

    1. Coeus   12 years ago

      A bit of illogical MRA smearing:

      But perhaps an appeal to men's rights would help: domestic violence advocacy and feminist activism have saved enormous numbers of men's lives.

      How? As Amanda Marcotte has argued, by giving abused women the ability to leave bad relationships instead of killing their husbands, and by securing state, federal and private funding to battle family violence regardless of the perpetrator's gender. Between 1980 and 2008, the rate of intimate partner murder where a male victim was killed by a female intimate dropped by 53 percent. In the same period, the number of women killed by male intimates ticked up. Women remain significantly more likely than men to be killed or abused by an intimate partner, and so domestic violence resources are concentrated on female victims. But getting women out of abusive situations, and helping men who are abused, means fewer male deaths.

      Yes, all men killed by by their partners were actually the abusers. And all the women saved were victims. Got it?

      And to sum it up:

      Men accused of domestic violence deserve their day in court. But once a judge has issued an order of protection, or once they have been convicted of domestic violence, they do not deserve to walk out of court with a gun in their hand. And they certainly do not deserve an army of NRA acolytes behind them.

      1. Virginian   12 years ago

        I love the conflation of "restraining order" with "conviction by a jury of a violent felony". Because hey, fuck due process.

        1. Randian   12 years ago

          Yeah anyone can get a protective order. I think they are pretty much "shall issue" until the object of the order challenges it.

        2. Jordan   12 years ago

          Who was it that was wetting their pants that people on the terrorist watch list can still buy guns? Thomas Friedman? Congratulations, bitch. That's some great company you keep.

      2. Zeb   12 years ago

        Why should I be sad that women can kill their abusers if they are in fear of their lives or bodily integrity?

        guns do not protect women or keep us safe. They are used by abusers to kill us.

        Right. Because only one of those can be true. It's amazing that there are any women left alive at all.

        1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

          They really don't understand how stupid that line makes them look. They're effectively arguing that women are too stupid/simple/weak to use the most effect self defense tool known to humans. All because of a reflexive progtard hatred of firearms. Their ideology blinds them to something that truly empowers women far more effectively than any number of slut walks and sign waving demonstrations.

          1. Zeb   12 years ago

            It's almost like they assume that their adversaries are actually the stupidest possible caricature of someone who favors gun rights. That particular line of argument seems to rest on teh assumption that gun owning males really like guns because they hurt women and would be upset to find out that they can also be used against men by people weaker than they are.

    2. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

      That shit is like a broken record Coeus. It's like they(progholes) all read the same grade-school text book.

      1. Coeus   12 years ago

        What I don't get is how so many people here don't realize how dangerous they are. Every stupid theory they come up with eventually gets into law. Their track-record is epic.

        1. Drax the Destroyer   12 years ago

          Their track-record is epic.

          And horrific when you lump in all the wars you could lay at their feet.

  31. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

    Learn How to Trap and Neuter Cats on the Lower East Side

    1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

      My favorite part is the ad for Chinatown Restaurant Week

    2. Jerryskids   12 years ago

      Can I make $7800 per month neutering cats from my laptop?

      1. Bobarian   12 years ago

        Well, it has something to do with pussy..

  32. R C Dean   12 years ago

    Charges being considered for NoVa homeowner who killed teenager who broke into his home accidentally and didn't leave after a warning shot.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....ml?hpid=z4

    1. R C Dean   12 years ago

      Try that link again:

      http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....ml?hpid=z4

      1. T   12 years ago

        Damn, I'm glad I live in Texas. There's no possibility of a trial in this state.

        1. Brett L   12 years ago

          The warning shot might get you charged with reckless discharge of a firearm.

        2. Virginian   12 years ago

          But this isn't real VA, it's freaking Loudon County. In Henrico or Chesterfield or the Valley, it would just be a bad situation. But in deepest NoVa....he might go to jail. Probably not, but he might.

        3. Robert S   12 years ago

          I live in Colorado, I would have said the same thing 10 years ago.

      2. Virginian   12 years ago

        God what a shitty situation. I mean, really the only way I can see this going a differently way was if his parents hadn't grounded him.

  33. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    Meanwhile, Colorado's prison chief was shot and killed answering his door. There was no sign of a robbery or break-in.

    Somehow, I find myself unable to give a shit.

  34. Brett L   12 years ago

    Everything but the cop part of happened to a friend of mine.

    David Miller was on routine patrol in Kalamazoo at 2:20 a.m. when he saw a person sitting inside a vehicle parked behind a hotel.

    According to Michigan Live, the man, a local resident, told Miller he had struck the deer accidentally on a nearby roadway and had planned to use the meat to feed his family.

    The deer, as Miller discovered when he opened the trunk to inspect the animal, had other plans, and ultimately disappeared into the nearby woods.

  35. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    The right to free speech, for example, does not include the right to yell "fire!" in a crowded theatre

    Just as long as I can yell FUCK OFF, SLAVER on any streetcorner.

    1. Coeus   12 years ago

      Just don't do it when kids are around, or Virginian will slap you.

    2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      People always do that wrong. It's perfectly okay to yell "Fire!" in a crowded, burning theater.

  36. Brett L   12 years ago

    The V&A scraps Napalm Death concert because they rock too hard.

    The Victoria and Albert Museum has cancelled an "experimental" concert by a death metal rock band amid fears that the high decibel levels could destroy some of its most treasured artefacts, including Ming vases and priceless sculptures.

    Napalm Death, who boast that the volume of their gigs is so high that fans are sometimes physically sick, were due to perform in the august surroundings this Friday as part of a collaboration with the museum's in-house artist Keith Harrison.

    1. Warty   12 years ago

      I saw them once. They sucked.

      1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        Do you mean that ironically, literally, or to indicate that, in fact, they were godawful?

        1. Warty   12 years ago

          They were undisciplined, imprecise, out of tune, ugly, and they were also godawful, AND they sucked.

          1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            So there was some sort of vacuum created by them? Seems like a bad idea for a band.

            1. Warty   12 years ago

              You know those scenes in movies where an airliner decompresses, and everyone gets sucked out? It was exactly literally like that, except with music.

              1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

                Okay, like when Goldfinger went out that little airplane window, but aurally?

                1. Warty   12 years ago

                  Literally metaphorically like that.

                  1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

                    So it was like some kind of simile of music?

                    1. Warty   12 years ago

                      They didn't say "like" or "as", you moron.

  37. sloopyinca   12 years ago

    We have officially surpassed last year's (Superpimp) number in this year's Reason Hit & Run Superdrone College Basketball Bracket Pick-Em.

    Don't be left out. Enter now and have a chance to win fabulous prizes, like some Monocle Foods handcrafted artisanal mayonnaise, pickled eggs or pickled hot sausages.

    Remember: you can't win if you don't play.

    1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

      Remember: you can't win if you don't play.

      By "win," I mean expose yourself to foods that have not been evaluated by the FDA for safety. But we've got to do our test marketing somehow.

      1. Shine on, Nikki Diamond   12 years ago

        By "win," I mean expose yourself to foods that have not been evaluated by the FDA for safety.

        That is a massive win!!!

    2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      Just for the record, the rewards for winning are incredibly paltry. For instance, note how Ken doesn't credit last year's winner for his insane brilliance. This is particularly galling given that I have no fucking idea who is winning anything this year.

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        They were paltry last year because I was getting married during the Final Four (and spent my entire wedding reception watching the Buckeyes choke away the Kansas game--ask EDG, he was there). Also, since so few people got us a wedding present, we were compelled to spend what normally would have gone to fantastic prizes on feeding ourselves. This year, the prizes are serious fucking business.

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          I'm fine with a retroactive prize. Incidentally, Kentucky was beating anyone they played, so it didn't really matter who your little school beat or failed to beat. Of course, these days, the worst thing you can do is win it all big, because you won't have any of the same players the next year.

        2. sloopyinca   12 years ago

          ^^This^^ in no way detracts from the Starship Enterprise Bottle Opener, by the way. It helps me beam up on a regular basis.

          1. Warty   12 years ago

            Fuck Pro Glib. His present was fucking bullshit compared to mine.

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              Mine was ritually blessed by the Shat. I win!

            2. sloopyinca   12 years ago

              Warty may have a point. There ain't much of a fashion statement better than a DTOM belt buckle. Shit, I almost offered up prima nocta, except Banjos nixed it.

              1. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

                Next time offer prima nocta cum viris juctim. I hear chicks like that.

              2. Warty   12 years ago

                Didn't I get you a matched pair? I forget now.

                1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

                  You did, but I can't wear them both at the same time. This isn't the 70's, you know.

                  And Banjos is yet to get a belt set up for a real buckle.

          2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            You're very welcome, and I'm glad you use it to abuse your health.

            Don't feel bad. My little school couldn't crack Kentucky, either. That's how I knew how beyond the rest of us they were last year--I saw them crush good teams.

            I'm still amazed that UF could keep its players for another title in 2007--with freshman taking off in droves, let alone upperclassmen, it was nothing less than a miracle.

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              Freshmen. It's hard for one freshman to take off in droves.

    3. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

      Pickled sausages?

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        Um, yeah. Have you never been to the midwest or the south?

        1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

          I've been bad at domestic travel, and I'm assuming that NOLA doesn't count as the south for culinary purposes.

          1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

            Oh, dude, then you're missing a treat. I'll bring some down when I get a batch ready.

            Some pickled eggs as well.

            1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

              Always down to try something new, particularly if it's pickled, and not pigs feet.

            2. Heroic Mulatto   12 years ago

              Pickled eggs are addictive.

              I like 'em with roasted red peppers, feta cheese, and some good crusty bread with a good olive oil.

              1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                Shhh, that sounds delicious and I don't have any pickled eggs or wet dough in my fridge to turn into crusty fresh-baked bread. Everything else is doable.

              2. sloopyinca   12 years ago

                I just made a couple of batches about a week or so ago. First was your basic brine with some sliced onions and peppercorns. The second was brined with sliced fresh jalapenos, garlic, pearl onions and some scallions. The former is good. The latter is sublime.

                And I'm sure they'd be better if I'd wait a little longer than 4 days to eat them, which is why I made 2 dozen of each. I'll be noshing on the balance in another week or so.

                1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

                  Those both sound delightful. I've been disappointed with my experiments in pickling so far.

    4. Mr. Weebles   12 years ago

      I'm in. Those pickled hot sausages have my name on them!

      Seriously, will you write my name on them?

      1. sloopyinca   12 years ago

        Mr. Weebles Pickled Hot Links

        Has a bit of a ring to it.

  38. The Late P Brooks   12 years ago

    It's perfectly okay to yell "Fire!" in a crowded, burning theater.

    What if I have a Molotov Cocktail? Or a howitzer?

    1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

      Well, naturally. The fact that you started the fire has nothing to do with your right to convey truthful information about the burning theater. Your act of starting the fire is criminal, of course, but not your words warning your victims.

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