Michael Bloomberg

Bloomberg: I Meddle Because I Care


Office of the Mayor

In a press release issued yesterday, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg argued that the decision blocking his big beverage ban must be overturned because "we have a responsibility as human beings to do something, to save each other, to save the lives of ourselves, our families, our friends, and all of the rest of the people that live on God's planet." Today the busybody billionaire clarified that the ruling "was not a setback for me." Rather, "this is a setback for the people who are dying," and "in case you hadn't noticed, I watch my diet. This is not for me."

I believe him. After all, Bloomberg has declared that meddling in other people's lives to stop them from making unenlightened decisions is "government's highest duty." Just nine more months.

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  1. we have a responsibility as human beings to do something, to save each other, to save the lives of ourselves, our families, our friends, and all of the rest of the people that live on God’s planet

    No we don’t. I love how a soda size ban is now him “saving all the people who live on God’s planet”. Fuck you, Mike, you megalomaniac shitheel.

    1. Coca Cola has been around for 127 years, and now it’s responsible for obesity increasing in the past 30 years?

      1. The same Coca Cola that used to come in 6.5oz bottles?

        1. I’m not saying that Bloomberg is right to try to put the kibosh on bigger servings, but drinking the same recipe of coke in a 6.5oz serving is fewer than 80 calories, a 32oz is 388, and a 64oz is 776. A 64oz coke is nearing half of the average person’s target calories for the day, and it’s straight simple sugars. That’s why people are getting fat off coke now, but not in the past.

          1. Yep. My grandpa was telling me once how Nehi came out with a giant sized soda bottle that was the marvel of the corner store when it appeared in the icechest: 12 ounces of sweet orange nectar.

            1. Yeah, I keep picking up the 8 pack of 8oz Coke. It’s interesting that I’m equally satisfied by my 8oz coke as by the “small” soda at a restaurant + refill. It’s aggravating that I pay more per ounce for the privilege of smaller drink, but I get that there’s more packaging involved and whatnot.

              1. I don’t drink carbonated beverages at all, but buy gallon jugs of spring water. (I don’t like carbonated beverages, and have never been a regular drinker of them.)

                Sadly, I could still stand to drop a few pounds.

            2. Interestingly enough, people used to eat an ungodly crap-ton more butter than they do now. In the 1930s, per capita butter consumption was something like four times what it is now.


        1. Didn’t you know EPI?


          1. I heard Hugh puts corn syrup in his morning mint juleps. And then he gets angry.

            1. Any correlation between the dramatic rise in HFCS use and Peter Griffin’s waistline?

      3. The original formula had an extract of the coca leaf in it.

        If they’d return to the original formula, I’m sure the obesity problem would right itself.

        1. I would be a much more pleasant person at work in the morning if I had regular access to coca tea.

          1. It’s on Amazon. This one is good.

            1. I’m always nervous it’s going to be de-cocanated or something, so I never bother to buy it. You’ve tried this one and approve?

    2. my roomate’s mom makes $62 every hour on the computer. She has been out of work for 9 months but last month her income was $15238 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more here…. http://goo.gl/ASVr8

      1. Lisa, do the math.

        Your roomate’s mom had to work more than just “a few hours” to make that cheese.

        1. Lisa adds two and two and gets elventy seven. Don’t waste the keystrokes; she’s a moron.

          1. It’s only a 62 hour work week. That’s a few.

        2. You know why I like Lisa? She lets me put it in her bottom. No more unkind words regarding Miss Olson.

      2. 55 hours a week of rolling around in your own feces for the amusement of sick fucks like Shriek really pays.

  2. As much as I loathe Nanny Bloomberg and pretty much all that he stands for, the fine citizens of Gotham Manhattan have chosen their leader through the ballot and they must reap what they’ve sown.

    Until people realize that electing jerks like this results in jerk-like behavior then they will keep electing jerks.

    The jerkstore is never out of them.

    1. Respectfully Tman…


      We do not live in a democracy. The rights of the one single liberty seeking solitary motherfucker in NYC (I’m sure there is at least one left) who wants to buy a “big soda” trumps this fuckstick’s authority to ban it. Bloomberg is entirely evil and must be stopped.

      1. Democracy is for dwerps.

      2. Bloomberg is evil and I agree he should be stopped. But the judicial branch is all that’s left to stop him at this point, since the legislature pretty much agrees with him on his Nanny stuff.

        I am fully in support of the Judge blocking his ban, as the ban itself defies logic and common sense. Filing lawsuits and injunctions can help too, but the fact is that enough limousine liberals and their associated suck-ups agree with the Nanny that unless you vote him out this is what you get.

        The only thing left for New Yorkers is either that, wait him out, or move.

        1. So use the judicial branch to thwart him at every turn. That’s why it exists. To protect the rights of the individual from the mob.

          But agree. New Yorkers are getting exactly what they asked for. They generally don’t care, until it’s an issue that affects them personally, and then they’ll wonder why others are violating their right to choose.

          1. Oh I agree, that’s why I said it. But I don’t live in New York because I can’t afford it and I’m not fucking insane, so that’s their problem.

            What I am enjoying out of this is the anti-bloomberg backlash-



            1. Oh, also, this should go without saying but don’t read those comments.

              Terrible horrible no-good very bad statist fucks.

      3. Actually, the problem here is that we do not live in an elected dictatorship. The executive does not have legitimate authority to create law like this.

  3. ‘I’m only trying to HELP!’
    Get lost, you nosy prick.

  4. Michael Bloomberg: Billionaire, Nanny, Hypocrite


    1. Whatever happened to tar, feathers, and sending busybodies out of town on a rail? Yankees used to have backbone.

      1. They’ve lost that backbone at enormous cost to all of us.

      2. It’s what Tman said…New Yorkers elected this useless carpetbagging idiot…they can suffer his feckless stupidity.

        1. See what Francisco said.

          1. Yet Bloomberg remains.

            1. For now.

  5. It’s a shame to think of all the ordinance this country has wasted in places like Pakistan, Yemen, and Libya when we could be dropping it on New York.

    1. Be American, Bomb American

  6. “Government’s highest duty” is just another variation on the same, old, hackneyed pretext upon which all government action is premised.

    Many will contend that government has a duty to “protect us” from boogeymen like Mahmoud and Hugo and Sitting Bull nothwithstanding the fact that governments absolutely SUCK at protecting people from the ravages of war.

  7. “in case you hadn’t noticed, I watch my diet. This is not for me.”

    Bloomberg is entitled to concern-troll because he’s just a better person than you are. I watch my diet, too (and have a 28″ waist to prove it), but all the same, fuck off, slaver.

    1. 28″ waist? Damn. Do you have little trial size viscera or what?

  8. “we have a responsibility as human beings to do something, to save each other, to save the lives of ourselves, our families, our friends, and all of the rest of the people that live on God’s planet.”

    We most definitely do. We do not have the right to use the power of GOVERNMENT to do so, however. There are lots of ways we can encourage people with poor health to improve same. It doesn’t therefore follow we use govt. to limit choice and FORCE people to comply with our view.

    I can’t believe this statist ninny really thinks it is within the scope of government to force food choices on people. It boggles my mind in ways I have not been boggled. And I say that as somebody who drinks DIET soda. Feel free to unleash the anti-nutrasweet fanatics on me. Just don’t try to take my diet soda away. Or there WILL BE a use of force.

  9. The writer Nora Ephron, who has shared a burger with the mayor at JG Melon (“he relished it,” she said) hates the new calorie counts. “It takes the fun out of everything,” she said.

    “But the mayor’s concerns,” she added, “are larger than mine.


    1. After all, who is she to argue with her betters Top. Men.

      1. Actually, I heard Bloomberg is a “bottom” when it comes to intimate matters, if you know what I mean… and I think you do.

  10. um, DUH!

    Safford Unified School District # 1 v. Redding, __ S.Ct. __ , 2009 WL 1789472 (2009)

    1. Note: The school staff still enjoyed qualified immunity.

    2. Americans: too dumb to know that 4x200mg ibuprofen is 1x800mg ibuprofen!

      1. But what if it’s Canadian ibuprofen and you have to use metric math? How do you do the conversion then? Huh, Mr. Smartypants?

        1. Can you imagine trying to sort out drams, scruples and grains?

      2. But it is prohibited by law to take more than the recommended dosage. So people, you know, won’t and stuff.

  11. It’s for your own good.

  12. Now see that makes a lot of sense dude. Wow


  13. I hope that Bloomberg isn’t suggesting that his responsibilities under the laws and Constitution of the State of New York – as well as the limits to that responsibility under the laws and Constitution of the United States of America – are superceded by his responsibilities to God to save the planet.

    So far, the human race hasn’t had a real good track record out of people who claim mortal law doesn’t really apply to them because they are on a mission from God.

    1. Worked for Jake and Elwood.

  14. “we have a responsibility as human beings to do something, to save each other, to save the lives of ourselves, our families, our friends, and all of the rest of the people that live on God’s planet.”

    What the fuck is this “we” shit?

    1. On the occasions when I have pondered over men’s various activities, the dangers and worries they are exposed to at court or at war, from which so many quarrels, passions, risky, often ill-conceived actions and so on are born, I have often said that man’s unhappiness springs from one thing alone, his incapacity to stay quietly in one room. A man wealthy enough for life’s needs would never leave home to go to sea or beseige some fortress if he knew how to stay at home and enjoy it….~Blaise Pascal,
      Pense?s, “Diversion,” 136.

  15. Wow, it’s like he *wants* to be memorialized with the famous C. S. Lewis quote:

    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth. Their very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be ‘cured’ against one’s will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.”

  16. All Napoleonic nanny Bloomy needs is an apron.

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