A.M. Links: Global Shares Up, U.S. Unemployment Down, McConnell Backed Rand Paul Filibuster from Start, $1 Million's Worth of Marijuana Found on Crashed Boat in California


  • bridge builder

    Global shares are at their highest levels since June 2008, while at 7.7 percent, the U.S. unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level since December 2008.

  • Former Ron Paul adviser Jesse Benton, who now works for Mitch McConnell, helped Rand Paul plan his filibuster and gain support for it from the Republican establishment. Senators from both parties say it'll encourage more similar filibusters. Democrats, meanwhile, were hard pressed to explain their absence from the Paul filibuster—they had "stuff" to do.
  • The internal affairs division of the Peoria PD in Arizona will investigate whether a traffic safety checkpoint was actually an immigration checkpoint.
  • 80 percent of New York City high school graduates don't have the skills to go to college.
  • A million dollar's worth of marijuana was found on a boat that crashed into a California beach.
  • North Korea is scrapping its non-aggression pacts with South Korea, as well as shutting down the hot line and shared border point, while the White House says the U.S. is safe from any North Korean missile attack.
  • Vietnamese Cardinal Jean-Baptiste Pham Minh Man was the last to arrive in the Vatican for the papal conclave, which is expected to be scheduled today.
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in Venezuela for Hugo Chavez's funeral.

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  1. The good news: The NYC Department of Education has raised high school graduation rates by 40%.

    The bad news: 80% of Recent NYC High School Grads Cannot Read.

    1. needz moar money.

    2. Bright side: yet another group we can make fun of online without repercussions.

    3. I’m sure those two facts are completely unrelated.

    4. The good news: that story was linked to in Morning Links.

      The bad news: Reason’s link is only to 24/7, not to a real news page (ie. the original source).

      1. You’ve been commenting here for a month and apparently you’ve clicked on your first AM Link.

        1. He was always too afraid that the link would be a slideshow.

          1. What kind of monster likes slideshow links?

            1. What kind of monster likes 24/7 links?

        2. Double redundant linking structure for the SEO win!

        3. Ted’s been here for awhile. He is always first on the scene when someone reposts a link to shame them.

          1. He’s also the resident pendant.

            1. He’s also the resident pendant.

              Well played.

              1. I prefer to think of myself as a curmudgeon who gets irritated by incomprehensibility.

              2. Are pendants those guys who try to correct dangling modifiers?

                1. There’s nothing wrong with my modified danglers.

        4. Surely you know you can see the URL for a link by hovering over it.

        5. They used to be real links.

          This bullshit two level linking is bullshit.

    5. Good thing the teacher’s union is there to ensure quality, or it would be so much worse!

      1. Far be it for me to defend a union around these parts, but the relentless trend toward multiple-guess testing plays no small part, here.

        Union or no, teachers have little leeway when the entire educational system is aimed at getting kids to pass a particular test.

        1. you act as though teachers and their union are idle bystanders in this.

          1. Well, a careful reading of what I wrote also reveals that I act as though politicians, parents’ groups, the academic supplies industry (textbooks, test creators & assessors) and the #2 pencil industry are idle bystanders in this.

            I’m not interested in arguing which group is most to blame, merely suggesting that unions shouldn’t bear sole responsibility.

            1. It’s an interesting point about parents’ groups. Annually they see worse results, but press harder for more teachers/money/tutors, etc. At some point, wouldn’t you just pull your kid from public schools?

              Methinks the PTA is infiltrated by teacher union friendly leftist parents.

              1. Or I should say, I feel the P’s are steered by the T’s in their “Association”.

        2. “Far be it for me to defend a union around these parts, but the relentless trend toward multiple-guess testing plays no small part, here.

          Union or no, teachers have little leeway when the entire educational system is aimed at getting kids to pass a particular test.”

          And learning to read isn’t part of that process?

          1. FTA: “nearly 80 percent of those who graduate from city high schools arrived at City University’s community college system without having mastered the skills to do college-level work.”

            There’s a big difference between reading well enough to do college-level work, and being illiterate.

            College-level reading and writing skills are developed in part by essay-writing. Our educational system with its heavy emphasis on a standardized tests that involve no essay component has no incentive to teach the higher level skills. The goal is to teach the ‘lil bastards just well enough to muddle through the test questions, so the school can show off good test scores.

            1. College-level reading and writing skills are developed in part by essay-writing. Our educational system with its heavy emphasis on a standardized tests that involve no essay component has no incentive to teach the higher level skills.

              Absolutely correct! I teach a lot of international students at a university. Many of those students come from high-stakes test countries, like China and Japan, and they stink at writing the American college essay. Part of the reason is cultural differences in rhetorical structure (the Chinese 8-legged essay vs. the Anglo-American 5 paragraph essay); however, a large part is that they’ve never been asked to express their opinion as an argumentative essay requires.

        3. In my experience, multiple-guess tests are the absolutely easiest thing in the world to pass.
          This should, theoretically, leave teachers all sorts of free time in class to focus on, y’know, teaching.

          1. If a teacher is teaching what they are supposed to, and are checking their students progress, then standardized bubble testing should only involve about a week out of a teacher’s year.

      2. Yes, what I admire so about teachers unions is that they always put the students first.

    6. Hmmm… Maybe they just can’t do math.

    7. How the fuck can people not be able to read? If you live in a modern city, you are surrounded by text your whole life. After 18 years of that, you have to pick up something, come on.

      1. They can probably read in the sense of succesfully decoding letters into words. I’m betting the problem is more that for anything but the most simple sentences, they can’t tell you what they just read actually means.

    8. we need more ObamaSMARTphones

  2. Senators from both parties say it’ll encourage more similar filibusters.

    I warned everybody this would just encourage more talking.

    1. I warned everybody this would just encourage more talking.

      I’d rather they talk than go about their usual business.

      1. We ain’t payin’ them to talk, we’re payin’ them to legislate, dammit!

        1. I’m fine if we quit paying them, honestly.

    2. More filibusters means less “doing something”. I’m all for it.

      1. It means they actually have to shred their vocal cords, instead of filing paperwork.

        I’m all for it. If something’s worth filibustering, it should be worth a little pain.

    3. True. However, I’d dearly love to see Frank Lautenberg try a filibuster.

      It would run like an extended clip of Grampa Simpson.

      1. I just want Menino to come in and do a guest filibuster.

      2. “…like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.

        “Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”

        1. FoE, that was funny. No idea what you are saying but I almost spit my drink onto my computer.

          Well done.

          1. Classic Grandpa Simpson

            1. Yeah you really have to see Grandpa and his union busters saying that. The early Simpsons can’t be matched.

      3. In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owned when it got really hot it smelled like Frito’s.

  3. Michigan: Levin Announces He Will Retire in ’14

    It’s unlikely ? but not impossible ? that the race for Levin’s successor will be competitive. In 2012, President Barack Obama won the Wolverine State by 9 points. In fact, a GOP presidential nominee has not won Michigan since 1988, and the state has only elected one Republican ? former Sen. Spencer Abraham in 1994 ? to a single term since 1972.

    Contenders from both parties could come from the House: Rep. Gary Peters, a Democrat, has said he’s keeping his options open for 2014, and Michigan Republicans said Rep. Justin Amash is eyeing the seat.

    1. if there were only a correlation between MI’s electoral preferences and the state’s condition.

      1. How dare you suggest that Detroit isn’t a result of RETHUGLIKKKAN UBSTRUCKSHUNIZM!!!!

        1. Don’t forget all of the harm done by unfettered, laissez-faire capitalism. All right-thinking people know how little involvement the government has in the auto industry.

      2. if there were only a correlation between MI’s electoral preferences and the state’s condition.

        Unfortunately there is. I wish there was an inverse relationship with their condition and their voting preferences.


    2. I wonder if he’ll get a CurrentTV show.

  4. Friendly Reminder, it’s Troll Free Friday, please participate (or not!) in all the events!

    1. Are there prizes?

      1. Registration means there are no more trolls here, just those with opposing viewpoints.

        1. Registered Trolls.

          Kind of like an AKA certified dog of some sort, right?

        2. I oppose that viewpoint.

      2. Every time you don’t respond to Tony, Epi will give you a handjob.

        1. I’d like to donate the proceeds to charity.

        2. Eventually the calluses will end that.

          1. Not if it rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it’s told.

            1. Or else Mary posts again.

        3. Ewww

      3. A night on the town with STEVE SMITH….if you do not participate.

        1. Looks like the other John had better start doing his makeup…

          So far it looks like he’s the winner.

      4. Why did you respond to the troll? 😉

  5. Big manly security guard tosses 82 year old lady off a train! Manly man! Soooo manly!
    Will anything else happen? I think we all know the answer.

    1. He gets a commendation?

      1. He’s a security guard, not a cop.

        1. Employee of the month!

        2. He’s a security guard, not a cop.

          Looks like he passed his audition then. Get that man a badge and police costume, stat!

    2. no ticket

    3. Come on, the sign clearly stated “No Fat Chicks”.

    4. A spokesman defended the guard’s heavy-handed actions.

      In the age of omnipresent smartphone video, when will spokespersons stop the knee-jerk defense thing?! YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK FOOLISH.

    5. FTA: Miami-Dade Transit says its policy outlawed singing, dancing or playing music on the train without a permit.
      A spokesman defended the guard’s heavy-handed actions.
      ‘The elderly passenger, Ms Anderson, was initially asked by a security guard to refrain from singing loudly and playing an instrument while on the train,’ they told WPLG in a statement. ‘She refused to comply.’

      The spokesman claimed the woman’s singing was causing a disturbance to other passengers and impeding important train announcements from being heard.
      ‘We regret that Ms Anderson had to eventually be escorted out, but regardless of age, all passengers need to abide by the rules associated with using transit,’ the statement read.
      But Mr Anderson says the video proves his frail mother was forcibly removed, not ‘escorted’ off the train.
      ‘By what we saw on the footage, she was dragged off the train. She wasn’t escorted,’ he told ABC News. ‘She was just singing to the Lord, preaching to the Lord, and he grabbed her bag and drug her off the train.’

      The city better find a private citizen that lodged a complaint. Also, First Amendment!!!

      I hope the taxpayers of Miami are prepared to get it in the pooper (dry) on this one.

  6. Cops caught on camera conducting warrantless search.
    Will anything else happen? I think we all know the answer.

    1. They’ll go back and take things that they found and wanted?

    2. The saddest part is that most people will willingly give up their 4th rights if asked during a stop/police contact, etc. rather than asserting them.

      1. Making them go get a warrant just gives them time to get something to plant.

        1. No. It gives them an excuse to back out of whatever shit they were gonna do because getting a warrant is work, and cops have shown time and again they want as little as possible. If they were interested in working, there wouldn’t be more arrests each year for pot possession than there are for all violent crimes combined.

      2. Human beings are hardwired to obey someone in a uniform. It requires a conscious effort to say “no.” Look it up.

        1. “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”
          “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”
          “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”
          “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!”

          That’s why I practice it each day with some Rage while on the treadmill. Morello is a leftist social justice tool but Rage gets the blood pumping.

        2. There’s a reason the “Bavarian Fire Drill” social engineering technique works so well.

      3. I was told that, in some states, the cops can impound your car until they get a warrant. Thus, if you refuse the search, they warn you it can take a couple of weeks to get a warrant.

        Anyone know if the impound issue is true (I think I was specifically told it applied to CA but there were other states).

        1. It takes as long or as short as they want for them to get a warrant.

        2. Why bother to impound the car when they can call in the K-9 unit?

        3. At some point an investigatory detention becomes a formal “arrest” for the purposes of the 4th amendment and if they don’t have probable cause to arrest you when this point is reached they should let you go. Of course, everyone (except judges) know they do whatever they want and then tailor the police report so that their actions seem justified.

          1. Of course, everyone (except judges) know they do whatever they want and then tailor the police report so that their actions seem justified.

            Anyone who has ever witnessed something documented by the police knows that police reports are all complete fiction for the purpose of getting a conviction. Judges know this. But they don’t care. It’s a game. A showdown between lawyers. Everyone knows that it’s all based upon lies, but no one will actually say it. If you do then you can’t play anymore. So you shut up and play the game.

            1. Except when you voluntarily stop playing, you end up on a list.

      4. Most people know that asserting their rights, or so much as politely asking a cop a question, will land them with an “opposing an officer” charge.

        1. Actually, must people do not know this because most people have never had any dealings with the cops other than the occasional traffic ticket.

          There really isn’t that much crime that involves victims. Most crime is victimless crime. Crimes against the state. Disobeying authority. That’s the stuff cops care about. Crimes with victims? Ever report a burglary or assault? If you’re lucky all they’ll do is mock you. If you’re not so lucky they’ll search you and your residence for drugs before mocking you and leaving without filing a report.
          Cops are scum.

  7. …whether a traffic safety checkpoint was actually an immigration checkpoint.

    If they were checking for Asians behind the wheel, it was a safety checkpoint.

    1. That’s true. Pretty racist, but true.


        1. Goddamn you filthy Jew bastard!

  8. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..ck-brennan

    House Republicans said a Congressional Research Service (CRS) study made public Tuesday backs up claims that President Obama’s policies have handicapped oil-and-gas production on federal lands.

    The study by the nonpartisan CRS concluded that while overall United States oil-and-gas production has increased since 2007, it has declined considerably on federal lands.

    1. But SHREEK told us that Obummer is teh mostess friendlee prez for oil production in history.

      Do you mean to tell me he might be a fucking idiot?

      1. The fact checkers have already debunked the wingnut sites on this.

        1. The “fact checkers” meaning the other homeless losers who post on DU with you.

          And the CRS is pretty much the gold standard for this stuff. They are nonpartisan and do a great job. Since you are an illiterate retard, you wouldn’t know that.

          1. Gee, I wonder why the wingnuts at NR picked 2007? A full two years before Obama policy went into effect?

            Because the big drop was in 2008-09!!!!

            Dishonest – that is the wingnut MO.

            1. And the drop continued dipshit. And who was President in 09 retard? Gee Obama got elected and it dropped off a cliff. Go figure.

        2. It’s a good thing you posted a link to those reputable “fact checkers” so we could all verify the validity of your claim.

          The the most transparent troll since the Obama administration.

          1. I know Bushmeat doesn’t follow this shit like I do (buy EXXI) but production in the Gulf fell due to BP and Hurricane Issac. However land production was up. Also, 38 million acres in the Gulf will be auctioned next week. After subtracting the effect of disaster in the Gulf we are seeing more production. But would a wingnut site cherry-pick? NO!

            Oil production on federal land rose 7 percent in 2012 over the previous year but fell by more than 8 percent in the Gulf of Mexico, according to the latest Interior Department data.

            The rise on federal lands is the largest single-year production gain in at least the past eight years. Growth was driven especially in New Mexico, where production increased 21 percent to 41 million barrels in 2012, and North Dakota, where it rose about nearly 15 percent to 12 million barrels last year, according to the agency data, which are subject to slight changes.


            1. That confused production with land. The production on existing leases went up. But that doesn’t mean Obama hasn’t done everything he could to keep there from being more leases.

              You are just a lying sack of shit. No one believes a single lie you tell on here.

            2. Ah… so better technology and more efficiency to pump oil from already approved leases is the same thing as the Federal Gov. opening more lands for drilling.

              God you’re such a tool.

  9. Fashion designer dares to criticize the First Wookie!

    1. I knew I loved Vivienne Westwood for a reason! (though I wasn’t too keen on her Fall 2013 collection)

      1. Tell me about, girlfriend!


      2. “As a spokeswoman for the environmental group Climate Revolution, Ms Westwood said she didn’t care for The First Lady’s recyclable wardrobe, saying: ‘Don’t talk about her.'”

        A love that might best be re-examined.


        1. That is exactly why I’m headed to Mars. Or at least my brain is headed there in a jar.

        2. She designs clothes. I like clothes. I like fashion. I don’t give two craps about her crazy-ass political beliefs. Being a fashion designer, if she wants to go off on the First Lady’s clothing choices, that’s pretty cool, especially since everyone else gushes over her schoolmarm uniforms.

          You sound like this lady on the Facebook page for the TV show Who Do You Think You Are? who said she wouldn’t watch the show, not because it wasn’t good (it was good), but because all the participants were “liberals”.

  10. Katharine McPhee still makes me drool.

  11. Living Large in the Obama White House

    When Calvin Coolidge was president in the glitzy 1920s, he took the republican ideal so seriously that he ended up in a series of tiffs with the White House housekeeper, Elizabeth Jaffray, over the cost of state dinners, and took to admonishing the executive branch for using too many pencils. Such behavior now serves only as a punchline to a joke that is not funny. The current annual cost of the White House ? just in household expenses, not the policy operations for which it exists ? is $1.4 billion: Annually, presidential vacations cost $20 million (the low estimate for one presidential vacation to Hawaii is $4 million, but the true cost is probably five times that); the first family’s yearly health-care costs are $7 million; more than $6 million is spent on the White House grounds each year. Transporting the president cost $346 million last year. But as Michelle Obama might say, America is basically a downright mean sort of place, so the tours will just have to go. One hopes at least that the calligraphers were recruited to sign the docents’ pink slips.

    1. the first family’s yearly health-care costs are $7 million

      somebody ‘splain this please

      1. No kidding.

        1. Will the sequester affect this? I mean, if it’s something imposed on Obama by mean Republicans, you would think his vacations would be hardest hit.

          1. No, just White House tours. He passed the burden on to other people’s vacations.

            1. He had to. There is no fat in the budget to cut. Never has been, never will be.

      2. They probably have several doctors on call who travel with them and serve them exclusively. Plus, the White House and Air Force One probably have extensive medical facilities, which require maintenance.

      3. He needs to switch to eCigs.

      4. Daily chest x-rays and MRIs?

        Or is one of them a cyborg? Cyborg maintenence costs are a killer.

        1. I wish he was getting daily X-rays. Radiation sickness is an incredibly unpleasant way to die.

          1. Killed a great-uncle doctor of mine.

      5. Well, Obamacare has brought down the cost of their healthcare 20% since he took office.

      6. Do you have any idea how much electrolysis costs for a wookie?

      7. Mother’s little helpers cost some real dough.

    2. Wait, I thought Obama wasn’t a dictator or an emperor. I’m so confused…

      1. No, you misunderstood, he meant that he wasn’t a dick tater.


      2. I doubt this all started with Obama.

  12. New life forms.
    One in Australian cave
    Another in Antarctic lake

    1. If it is in Australia, it must be a deadly one.

      1. Many scientists died bringing us this information.

          1. IT’S A TRAP!!!

    2. I’m thinking we should leave the thing in Antarctica alone.

      1. The cave-slime too. I’ve seen Fight the Future.

      2. Yeah – now I am going to have nightmares about At the Mountains of Madness.

      3. Nonsense. It’ll make for a great horror film slash documentary.

  13. Vietnamese Cardinal Jean-Baptiste Pham Minh Man was the last to arrive in the Vatican for the papal conclave, which is expected to be scheduled today.

    An Asian Pope would put us one step closer to a Space Pope.

    1. Any reptilian cardinals?

      1. Uh, I take it you don’t know the real reason why they lock themselves in a room where nobody else can see them.

        1. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with ass play.

        2. It isn’t as Robert Anton Wilson speculated, to see which of them has the largest (presumably erect) penis?

      2. Not a chance

    2. Too bad Cardinal Sin is no longer with us.

    3. The first pope was asian.

      1. Saint Peter was Asian?

        1. Yes, Israel is in asia, last time I checked.

        2. Considering he was from the Eastern Mediterranean – yes.

  14. Bret Michaels is a whiny little bitch.
    Never seen him and Randian in the same room. Hmmmmmm.

  15. Saw this on Bar Rescue. Beer cocktails.
    I dunno. The whole idea of it seems wrong to me.

    1. I had a friend in the army who used to mix Yukon Jack, Coke, and beer. Try it, maybe you’ll like it.

      1. You lost me at Yukon. sarcy don’t do the sweet stuff.

      2. I don’t like carbonated beverages, so I know I won’t like it.

    2. It’s better than a shandy (link included for everyone but ifh). At least in this situation it seems like the beer is replacing soda water or pop, which is acceptable.

      1. “And in the Cricketers’ Lounge late at night, where the cockies talk & the shearers fight; and their wives drink shandies because they’ll be driving home.”

        1. You mean a Bud Light Lime

      2. It’s better than a shandy (link included for everyone but ifh). At least in this situation it seems like the beer is replacing soda water or pop soda, which is acceptable.


        1. I wanna pop (pop pop pop) I wanna… Shasta

    3. Naysayers! Behold, the Honey Beer cocktail:

      1 1/2 oz. gin
      1 oz. fresh lemon juice
      1 tsp. lemon zest
      Pale ale
      Ice cubes
      Tools: shaker, strainer
      Glass: Pilsner
      Garnish: wildflower honey and kosher salt, to rim the glass; lemon twist

      Dip half of the Pilsner rim in wildflower honey and then lightly in kosher salt. Shake all ingredients but beer. Strain over fresh ice into the prepared Pilsner glass. Top with beer and garnish with a lemon twist.

    4. Coronarita. The gf had one at the local Mexican restaurant. It was just a margarita with half a bottle of Corona in it.

      1. Heretics!

        A Black and Tan or a Boilermaker are the only things anyone should consider as potential ‘beer cocktails’.

  16. Diplomat Calls for End to Drunkenness During U.N. Negotiations

    This week, an American diplomat offered what he called a “modest proposal” that he hoped would speed along the United Nations’ notoriously protracted budgetary proceedings. He asked delegates to put a cork in it.

    “The negotiation rooms should in future be an inebriation-free zone,” the diplomat, Joseph M. Torsella, said.

    So far, there seems little chance the suggestion will lead to any change in behavior.

    1. It is totally immoral and wrong. But a job at the UN would pretty much be the best job you could ever get. Talk about being able to steal and party. The UN is the king of all of that.

      1. They party and steal while they’re plotting to party and steal.

      2. I notice they didn’t say “hooker-free.”

        1. I notice they didn’t say “hooker-free.”

          They probably have Blue Helmets bringing in the finest 12 year olds money can buy .

  17. Hong Kong contruction workers use bamboo scaffolding when making skyscrapers.
    Take that OSHA!

    1. Wonder if this has anything to do with the declining number of pandas in the wild….

      1. I always prefer to build my scaffolds with panda bones.

    2. OSHA loves scaffolding. They can pretty much count on being able to find at least one violation in a scaffold setup. Half their budget comes from fines.

      1. When I was looking at houses in Ecuador last summer there were guys painting the exterior of 2-3 story houses by using rope to strap a ladder to the top of another ladder. It didn’t phase them in the least.

        1. When I was working in Costa Rica, there were guys who would use building wire to create their own extension cords. That by itself was not so bad, but they would run them thru ponded water and strip the ends bare to insert the solid copper wire directly into the receptacles. Making do with what they had, I guess.

          1. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Liberian construction.

            And painting.

            These guys make the Afghans look like a NY union construction shop.

            1. Is it true that the AIDS-blood they often use for paint in Liberia comes out looking just like an oil-base?

              1. Hey. I saw you were interested in access to a 3D printer. Some of the hacker spaces in SoCal have them. One shop stated it is “gun friendly”. There may be a place close to you as well. For a monthly fee, you can have access to some pretty fun machines. I’m thinking of joining one down here, to experiment making lowers. Check the link for more deets.


    3. Hong Kong is an interesting place. They have one of the closest things to a free market you’ll find anywhere, yet they also have universal healthcare that actually works.

      1. …yet they also have universal healthcare that actually works.

        They cut costs through preventative measures like free prescriptions for tiger penis and rhino horn.

      2. It’s because Hong Kong scaffolding workers have no hospital expenses – only funeral expenses.

        1. That type of scaffold is usually so dense that it’s next to impossible to fall out of it. You just get hung up in it.

          1. Didn’t I see that in one of the Rush Hour movies?

            1. I saw this documentary where Chow Yun Fat ran right across the top of live bamboo leaves, so that shit has got to be really strong.

  18. A million dollar’s worth of marijuana was found on a boat that crashed into a California beach.

    Who is paying that much for weed?

    1. According to my local PD one joint is worth around $100.

      1. Is that with or without seeds and stems?

    2. On topic: The Colorado legislature has formed a joint committee to write new marijuana laws.

        1. Smoke less weed, then, stoner.

  19. The best segment of First Take ever:


    1. People acutally watch Skippy Bayless?

      1. I only watched because Richard Sherman spent his entire time telling Skip how much he sucks.

  20. A million dollar’s worth of marijuana was found on a boat that crashed into a California beach.

    If police estimates of drug street value are to be believed, this is probably around 5 pounds…

  21. Hugo Chavez’s body will be preserved and put on permanent display, a la Lenin and Mao

    related: Obama sending official delegation to Chavez funeral

    1. Even the NPR guys acknowledged the similarity to the former USSR.

      1. In disgust or in approval?

        1. In fairness, NPR’s references to the former Soviets are not approving.

          1. Not approving because they were evil or not approving because they failed to overthrow the capitalist scourge?

        2. For the past two days, the most repeated description of Chavez on NPR is how he was “democratically” elected president 3 times by an overwhelming majority.

          Additionally, all of their comparisons of Chavez to Lenin and Mao involve how the were all leaders beloved by their people and were embalmed for permanent public display, not how they were all murderous dictators that imprisoned their political enemies.

          1. “Beloved by their people” and “murderous dictators that imprisoned their political enemies” aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

            1. “You didn’t hear any complaints about these guys from their so-called victims.”

              1. More that Nicholas II, for example, was also a murderous dictator that imprisoned his political enemies, so Lenin could legitimately be seen as an improvement (and therefore popular) while remaining a muderous dictator himself.

    2. “related: Obama sending official delegation to Chavez funeral”

      Wants them to investigate the preservation techniques for his own inevitable display.

    3. Ha, I posted that last night on the 3D printed magazine thread.

  22. 80 percent of New York City high school graduates don’t have the skills to go to college.

    The 13th Grade welcomes them anyway.

    1. LOL. Wut!?

      1. it sez u can go 2 coleg neway.

    2. I live here. 80% of NYC high school graduates don’t have the skills to do anything properly.

  23. wut?

    Guerilla knitting in Leicester ‘to reduce crime fear’

    Leicestershire Police hope the “guerilla knitting” or “yarn bombing” will encourage more people to use Bede Park and Great Central Way.

    Some of the park’s users told BBC Radio Leicester the items – including tree warmers – do not make them feel safer.

    1. I have no idea what any of that means.

    2. Reduce the fear of crime, a justifiable fear, with displays of yarn? How is that supposed to work?

      Reduce the fear, not the crime…..genius!

      Has England been taken over by retarded chimpanzees?

      1. England run by retarded chimpanzees would be better-governed……

    3. Does anyone stop to point out that reducing the fear of crime does nothing to actually lower the level of crime. If people were less afraid of crime but the criminals were still in the park then you’ve done nothing more than provided them with more victims.

      1. I don’t know. Having more non-criminals in the parks could conceivable make them less attractive places for criminals to hang out. More potential victims also means more potential witnesses. I still don’t see what the knitting accomplishes, though. Letting people defend themselves might work better.

        1. The knitting gives them an excuse to sit there for long periods. Because if you’re in a park for long periouds without “doing something” then you’re a suspect. Remember, it’s all about doing something. Always.

        2. Duh, what do you think the knitting needles are for?

        3. Maybe the yarn bombers are highly trained knitting-needle assassins. The Brits love a good shivving.

  24. A million dollar’s worth of marijuana was found on a boat that crashed into a California beach.

    Right near the beach, boy

  25. Rand Paul Was Great, but Did He Go Far Enough?

    t felt last night as though the Republican Party was moving, minute by minute, toward Paul’s positions on national security and civil liberties. It happened spontaneously. Paul started to speak; conservatives on Twitter cheered him on; other Republicans, and Democrat Ron Wyden, slowly began to back him up. By the end of the night Reince Priebus, the head of the Republican National Committee, was calling on all Republican senators to go “stand with Rand.” The party had a kind of energy and unity I haven’t seen since the election.

    1. The party had a kind of energy and unity I haven’t seen since the election.

      Uh, that’s not saying much.

      1. Which election. Reagan in 84?

  26. Cruz, Paul Introduce Bill to Prohibit Drone Killings of U.S. Citizens

    U.S. Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Rand Paul (R-KY) today introduced legislation to prohibit drone killings of U.S. citizens on U.S. soil if they do not represent an imminent threat.

    “Our Constitution restrains government power,” Cruz said. “The federal government may not use drones to kill U.S. citizens on U.S. soil if they do not represent an imminent threat. The Commander in Chief does, of course, have the power to protect Americans from imminent attack, and nothing in this legislation interferes with that power.”

    1. What a couple of buffoons.

      1. TEE BEG EXTREMISTZ!!!1!

    2. Oh man, it is going to be awesome to see people try to explain why they didn’t vote for this.

      1. “I had other more pressing constituent mattersimportant donors to attend to.”

      2. Because wingnuts and racists and foaming the black helicopters!

      3. Some douchebag is gonna attach a “free ponies for all” rider to the bill which will be the reason for everyone to vote neigh.

        1. So you are saying they will saddle it with unnecessary baggage?

      4. Committees exist so they won’t have to.

      5. McCain has upped the ante by referring to Paul, Cruz, et all, as “wacko birds”. I hate McCain.

        Since when does “crankypants” = “maverick”? I mean, if thats the case then I’ve be a maverick one week a month for decades. Somebody give McCain a Midol and tell him that he needs to cut back on the estrogen.

        1. Oh, SNAP!!

    3. But who gets to define ‘imminent’?

      I made the mistake of looking at the comments on the NYT article on the filibuster and was astounded by the number of people making the same argument – that of course the president has the authority to use whatever force necessary to defend against imminent threats if he has a good reason to do so.

      Almost as if they were totally unaware that there was recently news of a white paper explaining that ‘imminent’ doesn’t mean what you or I or most anyone else thinks of as the meaning of the word. And that what the president may think of as ‘a good reason’ is none of your business, you aren’t allowed to know or question the criteria he uses for deciding what constitutes ‘a good reason’.

      1. Did the NYT cover that white paper? If not: they didn’t hear about it.

        Epistemic closure.

      2. Can you prove that it will never ever ever happen, ever? No? Then it’s imminent.

      3. And that what the president may think of as ‘a good reason’ is none of your business, you aren’t allowed to know or question the criteria he uses for deciding what constitutes ‘a good reason’.

        Until the president is from Team RED anyways. Then they’ll be the champions they always knew they were in regards to killing Americans.

    4. That gives me a great idea for a new bill: no one should be allowed to deprive a person of life liberty, or property without due process of law.

      Am I just being too radical here?

      1. It really is amazing that the ONLY part of our polity that denounces dronings of American citizens without due process is the part of our polity that is defined as extremists by the rest.

        We live in a very sick society.

    5. I hpoe they have the sense to not actually specify ‘drones’. Which of course leaves the door wide open for any other form of assassination the president might wish to use.

      1. yup, this. “hey, it wasn’t a drone..”

  27. “80 percent of New York City high school graduates don’t have the skills to go to college.”

    I blame sugary soft drinks.

    1. And earbuds.

    2. I blame guns imported from other states.

  28. Zombieism making its way up the east coast.

    Investigators say Cimino stripped down and broke into an empty home in Hawley in September, then was badly hurt jumping from a window. Authorities say he then attacked two women walking down the street, gnawing on the head of one. Both escaped.

    1. I didn’t realize Heaven’s Gate reduced Michael Cimino to this.

  29. Bill Clinton changes his mind about the gays.

    Clinton says the Defense of Marriage Act is incompatible with the Constitution. He says he signed the law in 1996 to avoid legislation that would have been even worse for gays.

      1. One of the great joys of talking to leftists about gay rights is correcting them when they claim Bush signed DOMA.

        1. Stunned silence ensues I am sure.

          1. No, they accuse me of lying. Then I bet them five dollars, and whip out the ol’ smartphone.

            One month I paid my cell bill using the cell phone to win political bets.

          2. When I correct leftists on the facts, they scream that I’m persecuting them. Theocrats do the same thing. Not that there are any other resemblances between the two, of course.

        2. I usually get the same argument that Clinton gives above: it was a compromise to avoid worse legislation.

          1. Ughh that is such a bullshit line though. If you veto it, and Congress passes it over your veto, then you can honestly say you did all you could do.

            Of course I once encountered a lefty who didn’t know the President had a veto. So….yay public schools.

          2. Which he could have vetoed, also.

        3. “One of the great joys of talking to leftists about gay rights is correcting them when they claim Bush signed DOMA.”

          Really? That happens? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but for fuck’s sake DOMA was passed in Clinton’s first term, before anyone even imagined W would become president.
          I must be getting old. 1996 is still recent in my mind.

    1. he signed the law in 1996 to avoid legislation that would have been even worse for gays

      Bull and shit, he did.

    2. It doesn’t usually take Bubba this long to see which way the wind is blowing.

      1. He’s been too busy looking for someone else to do the blowing.

    3. When, oh when, will Democratic presidents stop being the helpless captive of Republican radicals?

    4. Wait. Are you telling us that Slick Willy waffled? Wow, I did not see that one coming at all.

  30. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ar-US.html

    Question, suppose the NORKS go nuts and either intentionally or accidentally fire a nuclear missile at say Japan or worse Hawaii and our missile defense works and shoots it down before it does any harm. What do we do? Ignore it and tell the world everyone gets a free nuclear shot at us or turn North Korea into a nuclear fireball even though they had only tried to use nukes on us?

      1. Sooooo… turn NorK into a tiny nuclear fireball that we ignore?

    1. We use conventional ordnance to turn most of their military facilities (particularly anything involving their missile and nuclear programs) to rubble. At this point I think we regard most of the North Korean people as hostages.

      1. The problem is that they also hold most of South Korea as hostage. If even half of the artillery tubes pointed at Seoul got off even one round, the city would be leveled. So I don’t see how you could ever have any kind of measured response that wouldn’t escalate into full scale war.

        1. The North attacking the South in any way shouldn’t affect us at all.

          1. We shouldn’t have soldiers on the border, but we do. So any attack on S. Korea is probably going to involve attacking US troops for now.

            1. I know. I’m sure South Korea is thrilled to have the US providing their military.

              1. Our presence in Korea has almost as much to do with keeping S. Korea from attacking NK.

          2. But us bombing the North sure as hell affects the South. We kind of owe them some consultation before we start bombing.

            1. Consultation: “North Korea directly attack the United States so, uh, well you know the drill. Don’t worry, our military is already providing your defense so we’ll take it from here.”

              1. Then you are talking about all out war. You can’t go bomb North Korea, have them invade the South and then go home. If you want to start a war, you better be willing to finish it. And if you are going to start a war with the NORKS who just tried to nuke you, why not nukes?

                1. The US is already providing basically a full military for the South. Of course “we” wouldn’t let them invade, “our” military is already there to defend. If the North manages to fire off their one nuclear missile and fail, I don’t see the point of nuking them to oblivion. March a force into Pyonyang and obliterate the palace and everyone in it. Spend some time hunting down the Kims and any leaders that might not have been home, drop a couple tons of food across the country, then bug out.

                  1. The US is already providing basically a full military for the South

                    Not true. We have less than one division there. The South Korean Army is huge and quite competent.

                    1. The South Korean Army is huge and quite competent.

                      They had a fairly sizable contingent in Vietnam. As you mentioned, they were capable soldiers, but since many of them had seen communist atrocities first hand, they weren’t exactly the best troops to win hearts and minds.

                2. If you want to start a war, you better be willing to finish it.

                  At least we have a good track record there, particularly on the Korean peninsula.

                  1. We have a good record of finishing wars on the Korean peninsula?

                    That war has never been called off, it is just in a truce.

            2. Sure, give them a call and say “start evacuation plan alpha now, because you are getting 15 minutes notice”.

          3. I think there’s a treaty tha obligates us to do something, Sparks.

        2. So we start by hitting their border artillery. Besides Seoul must be at least 25 miles from the border. That would put it at the outside range of modern artillery. Is this really a big threat?

          If it is, then you target those artillery first. But make no mistake. I’m not advocating a measured response. I’m talking about completely eliminating their ability to make war.

          1. They have huge artillery tubes. And Seoul is an enormous city. It goes right up to the border almost.

            And there is so much artillery it would take weeks to destroy it all.

            1. Yeah, plus the artillery is buried in the sides of mountains. You’d have to hit every tube with a PGM somehow. Even assuming you knew where all teh tubes are, that’s lot of expensive ordnance. Basically, if we or the ROKs attack the Norks, Seoul burns.

              I forget the estimated number of artillery pieces the Norks have hidden away pointing at Seoul, but it’s in the tens of thousands.

              1. I believe it is the largest single concentration of artillery on the planet.

                1. And then, to even get to that artillery with conventional forces, you would have to go through the biggest minefield on the planet. Sure, you could use airborne units in combination with an amphibious assault,but airborne units are historically weak against armor (which is often only a couple miles from the artillery) and amphibious assaults take a while to proceed inland.

                  1. Sure, you could use airborne units in combination with an amphibious assault,but airborne units are historically weak against armor

                    Which is another reason why the Air Force is fucking stupid for undermining their A-10 fleet for so long, if we ever actually did go to war with them.

                    War with the NORKS, if China actually managed to stay out of it, would end up being a hard-slog ground war, and CAS would ultimately be far more important to cleaning things up than air-to-air. The F-15s and F-16s would make pretty short work of the North Korean Air Force, but they don’t have the same CAS capabilities the Hog does.

    2. Drone the suckers…no nuke necessary

    3. I don’t think nuking North Korea would be right – the people living in the death camps, for example, morally don’t deserve killin’

      I think redoing the Linebacker II campaign, coupled with readying a huge reserve force to bomb the shit out of massed formations of troops should they try to send an army south would be the right thing.

      I think discussing the matter with the Chicoms would be a good idea now, prior to a crisis would be a very good idea. Ask them what they would do if this were to happen, and what responses would they agree to. The reason for this is absent Chinese military support, the Norks are in crap shape. The U.S. could establish air superiority very quickly, and then kill the Nork soldiers as they walk on foot to their battles.

      The one thing about the Norks is that they usually do the opposite of their bluster. If they are rattling their sabers, it means they are weak. It’s when they say they want to talk that one needs to get worried.

      1. First, they have so many artillery tubes pointed at Seoul, they could destroy the entire city and kill hundreds of thousands if they even got off a single salvo. So bombing them is a mot more complex and dangerous than you would think.

        And yes, the sabre rattling is a sign of weakness. But that is not a good thing. What it means is that Retard Jr. is really worried about the place falling apart. If it ever falls, him and everyone at the top is dead and they know it. The leadership has nothing to lose if they think the country is going to fall. And that makes them very dangerous. They might roll the dice on a war if they know the alternative is regime fall and certain death anyway.

        1. The leadership has nothing to lose if they think the country is going to fall.

          Not entirely true. There is historical precedent for fallen dictators getting asylum with other dictators.

          And you are very concerned about NK shelling Seoul. How does nuking them eliminate this threat. If you nuke the artillery then Seoul catches the fallout. If you don’t nuke the artillery, then it shells Seoul anyway. In this case you might have to Keanu and shoot the hostage…

          1. Not entirely true. There is historical precedent for fallen dictators getting asylum with other dictators.

            Not dictators like this. Think communist Romania. And even if the Kims got asylum the majority of the ruling class wouldn’t. They are dead. The South Koreans will kill them if nothing else.

            And you are very concerned about NK shelling Seoul. How does nuking them eliminate this threat.

            Anything short of a full on nuclear attack with tens or even hundreds of nukes probably wouldn’t, which is why dealing with a NORK attack is so problematic.

            1. So what do you advocate? Limited strikes on nuclear and missile facilities? Try to destroy their long range and nuclear capabilities without provoking them into striking back? I guess that could work. Take out their ability to hit the US, but convince them that we will leave them with enough military might to maintain control of the country.

              1. I don’t have a good answer to be honest.

                1. ^This. There is no good answer, only a matrix of bad answers. Any type of intervention and a whole bunch of Koreans are going to die; the only question is which ones (North, South), how many, and how (blown apart, radiation sickness).

                  1. I’ll say this, SK has a modern army while most of NKs conventional forces are based on what ws left over from the end of the Korean conflict.

                    Seoul has been living under the umbrella of NK artillery for 65 years. While an NK artillery attack would suck, Seoul has to be the most prepared place in the world for such an attack.

                    In all likelyhood, the SKs would go through the NK like ‘shit through a goose’ and we’d use or stand off and PGMs to take out every known NK strategic asset in hours.

                    The real question has always been ‘What about the Chinese?’

        2. How is nuking them going to work better. I suppose would could destroy the whole country rather quickly if we really wanted to, but I can see some moral problems there. Hundreds of thousands dead in Seoul is less bad than everyone dead in Nork. And if you don’t destroy everything, they will still get to attach Seoul. If you nuke the artillery on the border, then Seoul probably gets hit by some nasty fallout.

          I think there is no good answer. If it ever comes to open war again, it will be ugly, and Seoul will suffer a lot, no matter what the US decides to do.

      2. Yep. We need to have a plan agreed to by both China and South Korea. It will be messy, and there may be some collateral damage, but basically we go in and wreck all North Korean military infrastructure, and kill all soldiers.

        1. March in with picnic baskets, I’ll bet you wouldn’t need to kill all of the soldiers.

    4. Aren’t any of their top military officials bribable? I can’t imagine every last one of them is sooooo loyal that they couldn’t be paid off to steer the Kims or commit some acts of sabotage.

      It just seems to me they should be fairly easy to control via financial incentives to the “right” people.

      1. This. A billion dollars to the right person could end the regime quickly.

        1. If it were that easy, we would have done that already. The problem is that the entire ruling class is guilty of unspeakable crimes. There is no way to get rid of that regime without it meaning certain death for everyone in charge.

          1. Forget about regime change. Why not bribe a couple of Generals to subtly sabotage weapons development, deployment, etc.? Just one or two small “problems” could put the kibosh on the whole program, and you could probably easily lay the blame at some poor engineer’s feet and come away scott free with your head intact and a bank full of American cash.

            1. We may have done some of that. But the problem is that the leadership is terrified of its own people. And they know that if they open up the country any at all or tone down the rhetoric, it could snowball into the whole thing falling down. So they are really fucked. Their only answer to getting weaker is harsher and harsher rhetoric and escalation. But there is a limit to that since eventually you have to either back that up with a war or look weak and risk people turning on you.

              1. I think there has been significant change among the Chinese leadership. While they used to see some utility in North Korea, their increased business dealings with the rest of the world has totally changed the dynamic. If a diplomatic compromise to the East China Sea islands was possible, (basically making sure they were cut in to any oil found there), it would probably be easy to find a way to get them on board.

    5. I don’t think they even have nuke missiles. It’s more like garage made nukes that release about the same amount of energy as some of our conventional ordnance.

      1. They’ve tested nukes a couple times now. I don’t think their glorified Scuds are much of an international threat, but they could burn SK to ash, and probably do major damage to Japan.

        1. 50/50 chance the rocket would blow up on the launch pad

        2. Being able to produce a nuclear explosion at a fixed site with an arbitarily large device that never moves is not that same producing one with a device can fit on a rocket and survive being launched thousands of miles.

  31. 80 percent of New York City high school graduates need to relearn learn basic skills before they can enter the City University’s community college system.


  32. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..abama.html

    Your daily Katherine Webb.

    1. Who is that creepy guy watching her stretch?

        1. Please, that guy doesn’t come close to the creepiness that is Warty.

      1. Billy Martin?

      2. Brent Musberger.

    2. Attention whoring at its finest.

  33. Bloomberg-Backed Anti-Gun Lobbyist Enjoys ‘Assault Weapons,’ photo shows

    “I hate watermelons.”

    So he’s *both* a hypocrite and a RACIST!

    1. Wow, you don’t often see such a clear cut example of a man with no conscience.

      1. Maybe Aaron Eckhart can play him in the TV movie.

  34. Global shares are at their highest levels since June 2008, while at 7.7 percent, the U.S. unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level since December 2008.

    The Bush Depression is nearly over. The US is the place to be. Near my hometown of Athens Ga, both Caterpillar and Baxter have broken ground on 2000 employee plants.

    We may see S/P 500 at 1800 by the mid-terms.

    1. Yes, Obama and Bernarke do a great job of stealing for Wall Street. They are Wall Streets men. The rest of the country, not so much. Persistent long term unemployment, inflation, wage stagnation. But hey, the important people are doing well and that is what it is all about.

      Gee crony capitalism is good for cronies. Who would have thought such a thing.

    2. The bubble’s back, baby!

    3. lets see…

      hourly earnings in today’s employment report are DOWN 2%…before taxes.

      weekly earnings, down $12.

      The unadjusted number of people employed last year said +740,000…this year it’s 614,000. Wrong direction on that trend.

      Last month’s number revised down 40,000 jobs.

      But yeah, you go ahead and read those bloomberg headlines about beating expectations.

      1. Offshoring pays!

        Them jerbs ain’t comin’ back! What are you? A protectionist?

        1. You heard it here first folks: demand is finite.

        2. God you are a retarded little freak.

        3. I’d think that even a buttplug would be smart enough to analyze stock prices in terms of real inflation-adjusted levels as opposed to nominal levels. But whadda I know? I’m not a stock market genius, and neither is my wife, Morgan Fairchild.

          1. (Although if I had to, I’d be more than happy to compare my portfolio’s rate of return against The Plug’s. True story.)

    4. And any hint that QE is ending will lead to the markets dropping like a stone.

      Do us a favor and check what kind of jobs are being added? High/medium income or low income?

      How many unfilled skilled positions are out there?

      Yes, the US is the best looking horse in the glue factory.

    5. Full time employment falls while part time jobs increase. That’s a win? How many of those people lost their full time job and are now working two or more to make up?

  35. I want to see this bullshit explained.

    Denver Police Officer convicted of kidnapping and rape. Sentenced to 8 years. Allowed to post bail and remain free while appeals are heard after “Paez’s wife begged the Denver District Court Judge John Madden for only probation saying since he was a police officer going to prison is basically a death sentence.”

    If there’s no double-standard, which I’ve heard claimed here many times, then can somebody link to a story where a “civilian” convicted of kidnapping and rape gets to keep his freedom even after being sentenced?

    1. Can I use the excuse of getting sent to prison is basically a sentence to daily rapings in order to stay out?

      1. It depends. Do you wear a costume to work that has a badge sewn on to it?


    2. Was the rape diagrammed on a telestrator for the benefit of the judge?

    3. … since he was a police officer going to prison is basically a death sentence

      Maybe he fucking should of thought of that before he decided to rape someone.

    4. Can we please just build a prison where only dirty cops are incarcerated?

      1. I think we should just reserve the death penalty exclusively for dirty cops. You want to be a cop, great. If you abuse that power, you die.

  36. Also:

    Happy International Womens’ Day to the ladies of HampR!

    I… uh… I didn’t get you anything.

    1. Is that the chick version of Steak & BJ Day? Can we rename it Steak & Cunnilingus Day?

      1. Surf and Turf Day?

        Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. This is why there’s no libertarian women yadda yadda…

      2. I don’t care for seafood.

        1. Damn it Jordan!

      3. Sure, just use something less clinical than cunnilingus.

        1. It’s a great word to say. Rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

      4. Steak and BJ day is the worst idea ever.

        If there is a day for it, soon enough that will be the only day I can have those things instead of it being a semi-regular thing. And dammit I will eat steak more than once a year.

      5. The chick version is Valentines day. That’s the whole point of Steak & BJ Day.

        1. Last I checked, V Day involved hearts and flowers and romance and other bullshit. Homey don’t play dat. I want a filthy gluttony and sex day, for chicks.

          1. I want a filthy gluttony and sex day, for chicks.

            :::sigh:::: So dreamy…

    2. “And yes, I have banged hundreds of chicks, internationally, but I always wrap my weiner twice to make it joyless and unsatisfying, as a way of punishing supernodels.”

    1. No More Hesitation–Learn it, Love it, Live it.

      1. “db”,

        You wrote “No More Hesitation–Learn it, Love it, Live it.”

        You’ve probably already read this
        but I thought that others might be interested in the article (and other opinions of the article’s author).

        I found the targets of civilians quite troubling considering the “No Hesitation” training that accompanies them.



    2. Tulpa says it’s a good kill.

    3. Maybe we should just give them like….a CO2 cannon that shoots tennis balls. That way they can enjoy the shooting, and no one has to get hurt.

      Or is it the visceral thrill of inflicting wounds and death that does it for them?

      1. Have you ever listened to cops talk amongst each other after a few beers? It’s pretty chilling. Violence is their trade, and they love their job. Apparently choking people carries quite a thrill, as does holding a gun to a woman’s head until she pees her pants. They call that “teaching the bitch a lesson.”
        I once overheard a drunk cop lamenting to his buddies that he’d never had the opportunity to kill someone, and his drunk buddies assured him that he’d get his chance.
        Cops are animals. Avoid them at all costs.

        1. I overheard plainclothes Metro cops (Metro cops are real cops, not rent-a-cops) giggling about strip searching a 15-year-old girl and commenting on various body parts and laughing about how they put her in her place. On a train, in public, with many passengers nearby. If that’s the shit they talk about in mixed company, I hate to hear what the scumbags talk about amongst themselves. Cops. Are. Scum.

  37. 80 percent of New York City high school graduates don’t have the skills to go to college.

    Ooh, they’re getting closer and closer to their goal.

  38. It’s International Women’s Day, peeps, and in the spirit of everyone on my Twitter feed, lemme tell you how I’m gonna celebrate it: the exact same way I celebrate International Left Handers’ Day.

    1. By making your left hand fall asleep and then masturbating with it?

      1. I’m left-handed every day, so no.

          1. you know who else is left handed?

            1. Jerry Seinfeld?

        1. Sinister!!

        2. I knew I liked you for a reason.

      2. By making your left hand fall asleep and then masturbating with it?

        Ah, yes. “The Stranger”.

        1. Is that better or worse than having our arm fall asleep, grabbing your own dick, and having a “friend” move your arm for you?

          1. Ah, yes. “The Double Dutch Rudder”.

    2. This is why there are no left-handed libertarians.

      Except me.

      1. And you, apparently…

        1. Check your privilege, man. It’s a right hander’s world.

          1. This is why International Left Handers’ Day is even more important than International Women’s Day!

          1. Those weren’t freaks… not a single one of them was left handed.

  39. Former Kansas police officer pleads guilty to sex crimes…committed on a 15-month old child.

    Sentencing is scheduled for May 3rd. I wonder if he’ll get to stay out on bail while he appeals?

  40. TSA actually decreases security theater by a fraction, outrage among the professional outragers results.

    1. *Facepalm*

      How the fuck could anybody be outraged by this?

      1. FTA: “I’m flabbergasted,” said Sally Regenhard, whose firefighter son was killed at the World Trade Center. “I’m really disgusted by this latest news.”

        1. I’m sick of every f’in person who has experienced a tragedy in their life thinking their view has some kind of superior moral authority. Guess what Sally…EVERYONE loses someone to death.

          1. Yes. But not everyone loses a hero.

            1. Check under the couch cushions. You’d be amazed what you find there.

          2. Seriously. Those are the last people you should go to for advice on policy.

  41. Remember the cop whose gun “went off” in the school last week? Well, apparently the readers at PoliceOne need more info before passing judgement on him.

    I’m sure they said the same things about Plaxico, right?

    1. Why bother with PoliceOne? There could be high definition video of an officer executing a handcuffed, kneeling suspect with a point-blank shot to the back of the head, and they’d be saying that the guy deserves, at worst, a paid vacation, and that we really need more information before we can even say that. Along with the ones who said the guy deserved it because he must’ve mouthed off to the cop.

      1. Because they are actual cops. I think it’s important to point out to as many people as possible how these fucking pigs really feel about the people they are supposed to serve and protect.

      2. You just described to a T the comment pages on PoliceOne after Johannes Nehserle shot Oscar Grant execution-style.

    2. It wasn’t last week; it was earlier this week. And you should be giving me a hat-tip. 😉

  42. Remember the cop whose gun “went off” in the school last week? Well, apparently the readers at PoliceOne need more info before passing judgement on him.

    I’m sure they said the same things about Plaxico, right? Anything to protect the thick blue wall, boys.

  43. Also, has anyone shot one of those .380 mini pistols? I’m looking for something small to carry and considering a Taurus 738 TCP.

    1. Check out the Bersa Thunder Plus. Cheap and incredibly reliable. Another option is an NAA Black Widow .22 You can hide that sucker just about anywhere.

    2. Meh Taurus….Rugers are about as cheap, and way better guns. They have LCP, the LC9, and the LC380 coming out. Plus the whole LCR line.

      1. I guess cheap is relative. I was looking at the Ruger LCP, but wondered if it was worth paying 65% more. (Gander Mountain has the Taurus at $199 and the Ruger at $329.)

        1. Eh, you get what you pay for. Taurus is certainly getting better quality wise, but I still am less comfortable with them for a carry gun.

          I had a PT92, which is a clone of the Beretta 92. It jammed a bit, but it was a range toy, not my carry gun. So I didn’t mind so much. Personally, the absolute first priority for anything I’m using for defense is reliability.

    3. There are pretty comprehensive reviews of firearms on Youtube. “Nutnfancy” probably has more info than you care to know about the guns you’re interested in acquiring.

      I’ve been thinking about getting a tiny gun, too. Was leaning toward the Ruger LCP for a while.

  44. Unions representing flight attendants and other airline workers decried the change, and several relatives of people killed when terrorists hijacked four U.S. airliners on Sept. 11, 2001, criticized the move as well.

    “I’m flabbergasted,” said Sally Regenhard, whose firefighter son was killed at the World Trade Center. “I’m really disgusted by this latest news.”

    I’m flabbergasted and disgusted that anybody would bother to give half a fuck what professional victims like you think, Sally.

  45. a police officer going to prison is basically a death sentence

    And this is supposed to matter to me, for some reason?

    1. maybe they should keep the police officers in solitary.

  46. Will Smith and son to star together in upcoming movie After Earf! Hilarity ensues.

    1. I have a friend who works in Hollyweird. Nepotism is what runs that place anymore.

  47. http://shine.yahoo.com/financi…..51199.html

    Thoughts on this? I consider, in general, delivery tipping etiquette to be different from actual table service. I usually tip two bucks for a solo delivery order, double it if the weather is really shitty. If I’m ordering for a group and the driver is carrying a lot of shit, it’s more.

    Now, 85 pizzas is a lot of pizzas. Ten bucks is definitely a cheap tip for that. But can he really expect the 10% tip for a 1500 hundred dollar order? I think 50 bucks is fair, and over 100 is crazy. End of the day, you’re making like….eight trips between car and door, assuming you didn’t bring help or a hand truck or something.

    1. I generally agree with your ideas about weather warranting larger tips for delivery and that sit down service is a different level than delivery. Having said that, a dude delivering a refrigerator to my house might get a $20 from me…why would a pizza boy think he deserves $150?

    2. I worked as a delivery driver one semester during school. Generally I was pretty happy to get any tip at all, I mean it’s not exactly a difficult job.

    3. Delivery drivers can’t survive on tips. That’s why they get paid minimum wage. True, the job sucks, but no one should hope to make a living as a delivery driver. It’s a job you take as a college student to earn beer money.

      That said, I delivered pizzas in college and on more than one occasion took deliveries totaling more than $1,000 dollars. It takes multiple trips. Not only was I paid minimum wage, I received 75 cents from the restaurant for every trip I took. I remember that on one occasion I earned $50 for a $1,100 order that took 6 trips. Total delivery time was just over an hour. That means in one hour, I made over $60 in tips and wages (this was in the early 90’s). I believed now, as I believed then, that that was MORE than fair.

    4. I don’t tip because society says I have to. Alright, I tip when somebody really deserves a tip. If they put forth an effort, I’ll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, that’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned they’re just doing their job.

      1. When I was a waiter my paychecks were zero because the taxes on my declared tips exceeded my wage which was one half of minimum.

      2. Then you’re an asshole, Sloopy. It’s your right to be an asshole, but I hope you get known as a non-tipper and get your food spat in, or worse.

        1. *cough* movie quote *cough*

    5. I used to work for a Washington Post subsidiary and they didn’t even tip delivery drivers at all when they got pizza for employee functions/parties. Probably never more than three dozen at a time, though.

  48. Has anyone else been watching with glee the utter debacle of Electronic Arts’ SimCity launch?

    1. I’m so terribly conflicted on this. On one hand, I absolutely love SimCity. However, my intense hatred of EA has my left hand slapping my right hand when it goes for my wallet.

      The “always online” bullshit isn’t surprising. They are dedicated to “enhancing” DRM so much that it makes their games unplayable. TWICE, when I called their tech support to get a resolution to DRM related problems I was told “download a noCD crack”.

    2. I’m very disappointed with the new SimCity. It’s dumbed down and more resembles a glorified Facebook game than a simulation.

      1. Oh noes! I’ll play it anyway, but I’ll get my “back in my day” voice ready to complain about how it’s no SC2K.

        1. I have managed to play it for a few hours, and it’s fun. But Heroic Mulatto does have a good point. It’s definitely not as good as SC4 was. AND FUCK ALWAYS ONLINE DRM BULLSHIT.

    3. Meh. I can’t recall how many times I have looked at the SimCity games, and walked away. I will probably never play it.

      I’m spending my precious few hours a week of gaming time for a 2nd go through of Skyrim, and Dragon Age 2.

      Also, for a single player game, you should only have to log in one time to verify your legit copy of the game, after that what purpose is served by having to be online to play?

  49. http://www.theglobeandmail.com…..le9488293/

    So this article shows two things: how blindly and uncritically people accept feminist propaganda, and how pathetic Canadians are about comparing themselves to the US. Just count how many times in the article they do it.

    1. What was the vote tally on the unconstitutional VAWA bill?

  50. http://www.wtae.com/news/local…..index.html

    Cops get into cop fight, start tasering each other.

  51. Eurotards want to ban all porn, to eliminate gender stereotypes. Awww, aren’t those Eurotards so cute? They’re like cuddly little Koala bears, without brains.

    Eurotards go even more full retard

    1. Ha, I saw that. Where will we get filthy, degrading porn if not Germany?

      1. Those Germans are a kinky bunch, are they not?

        Here’s a curios line from the article:

        libertarian Swedish MEPs from the Pirate Party


        1. The Pirate Parties rock my socks. They’re big on privacy, copyright reform, transparency and civil liberties.

          Kinky Germans also rock my socks, but those are tales for a different forum.

          1. If you move to Sweden and join them, do you get a free pirate ship of your very own?

            1. If anyone has extra pirate ships lying around, I would imagine it’s the Swedes.

  52. I’m done taking the bar exam. Too much free time on my hands, help!

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