By now you've probably heard about the seven-year-old Maryland boy who was suspended for chewing a breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun. What you might not have heard about is the school's conscientious effort to ensure that no kids were traumatized by a glimpse at the weaponized Pop-Tart.
From a letter sent home to parents:
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one was harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom….
If your children express that they are troubled by today's incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week.
To be fair, the phrasing leaves open the possibility that the students would be "troubled" not by the imaginary gun but by the suspension, and by the ensuing realization that they're powerless pawns in a vast, incomprehensible game run by madmen.
[Via Lowering the Bar.]