Handcuffs 2.0

Will the restraints of the future have built-in shocks and sedation?


Ever wondered why handcuff technology hasn't progressed much in the last 50 years? Wonder no more: In late November, the website Patent Bolt noticed an application filed by a company called Scottsdale Inventions for an "Apparatus and System For Augmented Detainee Restraint."

This handy new device can be "configured to administer electrical shocks when certain predetermined conditions occur" as well as being activated by remote control. The patent application compares this function to the workings of a stun gun or Taser. 

What's more, the cuffs could potentially be configured to administer "a liquid, a gas, a dye, an irritant, a medication, a sedative, a transdermal medication or transdermal enhancers such as dimethyl sulfoxide, a chemical restraint, a paralytic, a medication prescribed to the detainee, and combinations thereof" without directly involving human law enforcement officials.

The cuffs could also be programmed to work like an electric dog collar, shocking a detainee if he ventures outside a pre-determined zone. But don't worry. Before the cuffs do their thing a little warning light will flash and the cuffs will beep.

The application includes a photo of a prototype, which suggests these cuffs are well past concept stage and could soon be available to a cop near you. 

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  1. In the land of the cuffed, the one-armed man is king.

    1. Wasn’t that the tag line for The Fugitive?

  2. As Katherine Mangu-Ward reports, this handy new device can be “configured to administer electrical shocks when certain predetermined conditions occur” as well as being activated by remote control.

    What could go wrong?

    1. Somebody might look the wrong way at a cop without getting a few thousand volts across the chest. Don’t worry, they’re coming up with ways to deliver the shock automatically whenever you think about the Fourth Amendment.

    2. They’ll have to be configured in Perl,
      so there’s no possibility of misunderstanding.


  4. So yet one more of the things that used to be included in science fiction stories to let you know you were dealing with a particularly brutal and barbaric society will now come to pass in the US.

    I’m honestly no longer surprised.

    1. If you aren’t doing anything wrong you have nothing to fear!
      /statist derp

    2. Honestly, sometimes I think the cops / CIA / DHS, etc are combing pre-9/11 scifi for the most dystopic ideas and toys, and then seeing how fast they can engineer them.

      Why not just go whole-hawg and put a chip into everyone that paralyzes them with agonizing pain if they even think a wrong thought as in Star Trek “For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky”. You can say you heard it here first!

  5. Haven’t people been using these types of devices for recreational purposes for years?

    1. Once they hit the market it probably won’t take long to start showing up in well equipped bedrooms.

  6. It’s a good thing we have a good, professional police force in this country; as Scalia called it, the “new professionalism”. Otherwise this might be abused.

  7. What about ball cuffs? Do something the man don’t like and it starts to squeeze.

    1. Some Reasonoids would pay good money for such a device.

    2. Jesus Christ, don’t give them any ideas.

      1. It’s okay, in the deep dark recesses of the intertubez all of these things already exist. I’d add the caveat that those are only for sexual gratification, but we all know both instances are for sexual gratification, you just don’t get a safe word in this instance.

    3. Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?

  8. Why am I not surprised this originated out of Scottsdale.

  9. Instead of beeping they should say “Stop resisting.” in a robot voice. It won’t actually be a warning per se as you’ll get shocked regardless.

  10. How do you handcuff someone to the headboard with those things?

    1. You need additional rope.

      1. Or “rope not included.”

  11. Are they voice activated?

    Can I yell ‘teddybear’ and then proceed on my rampage?

    Do they open when the battery dies?

    1. I can’t remember, is that from Judge Dredd or from Demolition Man?

      1. Demolition Man

        And the quake is late. Gia is such a slacker.

  12. The next step will be the “Running Man” collar.

  13. My wife wanted to know if the intravenous substance could be anything you like? Say Viagra or something.

    1. or a sleep inducer

      just curious……

    2. Yeah because all anyone wants when they are in police custody is a 12-hour hard-on. Unless you’re a statist, in which case the police custody itself gives you the hard-on.

      1. joke over head

        handcuffs are sometimes used for sex play

        I thought non-virgins knew this
        care to explain yourself?

  14. Cop 1: Are the dash cam and your lapel cam off?
    Cop 2: Yea, they somehow were “damaged” yesterday.
    Cop 1: Then let’s have some fun with this MF. “Dance you scumbag”

    (This the latest fun for routine traffic stops)

  15. uptil I saw the bank draft which had said $4886, I did not believe that my mom in-law realy taking home money in there spare time on their apple labtop.. there neighbour started doing this for less than seventeen months and by now repaid the debts on their place and purchased a great new Saab 99 Turbo. I went here, http://WWW.FLY38.COM

  16. just as Edward said I’m in shock that anyone can make $9973 in a few weeks on the computer. did you read this page http://www.wow92.com

  17. There is freedom in America? I’m shocked, I tell you!

    1. you will be when you use these little toys

      1. Kinky!

  18. like Julie implied I am dazzled that a stay at home mom able to make $7893 in a few weeks on the computer. did you look at this site link http://www.wow92.com

    1. Gee whiz, where did you manage to find enough contacts to sell such a large quantity of meth to make that kinda dough?

  19. These “inventors” are morons. Stupid, dumb, dumb. There is neither a civilian nor a police use of this crap that would pass constitutional muster. Anything it adds as a product to existing law enforcement tools – handcuff, mace, taser, guns, batons, is mooted by the fact that it’s highly illegal and would expose municipalities to huge liability!

    Excessive force is a 4th amendment violation. Force must be reasonably necessary – which requires a judgment as to the amount of force necessary under the particular facts and circumstances of the event in quest, must be made. No City Attorney in this country is going to allow police to use pre-programmed shock for a predetermined set of conditions, because such would constitute a “policy” under Monell, an unconstitutional delegation of decision-making power, excessive force.

    I won’t even go into the federal statutory and constitutional limitations on the involuntary administration of medications, and how this would violate them all.

    It makes me smile to think of all these Scottsdale morons sunk costs, at least if they wanted US consumers.

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  21. Does it have a built in harmonica to play the blues?

  22. Thank you very much

  23. Thank you very much

  24. Seems that a local woman named Deborah Cavallario wasn’t keen on her neighbor living with his fiance and two friends

  25. Darren Aronofsky’s go-to composer). Its twisty plot might be said to be an

  26. programmed to work like an electric dog collar, shocking a detainee

  27. onfigured to administer electrical shocks when certain pre

  28. handcuff technology hasn’t progressed much in the last 50 years

  29. well past concept stage

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