A.M. Links: Gun Owners Get Discount at Virginian Pizza Joint, Lanza Wanted to Outdo Breivik, Chavez Returns to Venezuela

Credit:¡Que comunismo!/flickr

• Gun owners can enjoy a 15 percent discount at All Around Pizzas and Deli in Virginia Beach. The owner had instituted the discount as a temporary show of support for gun rights but may make the special offer permanent. 

• According to law enforcement officials, Adam Lanza may have been motivated to commit the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School by a desire to outdo Anders Breivik, the Norwegian who killed 77 people in 2011. 

• The White House press corps is frustrated that they did not have the access to Obama they wanted during the president's recent golfing weekend. 

• Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has returned to Venezuela after undergoing cancer treatment in Cuba. 

• Congress' newly proposed gun legislation would protect some guns while banning almost identical models of some of these weapons because of cosmetic attachments.

• Burger King's twitter account was hacked and then used to promote McDonald's. 

Follow Reason 24/7 on Twitter!

Follow Reason on Twitter too, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

Have a news tip? Send it to us!

The updated Reason app for Apple and Android now includes Reason 24/7!

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Gun owners can enjoy a 15 percent discount at All Around Pizzas and Deli in Virginia Beach.

Why don’t I just bring my gun in and get a one hundred percent discount?

[Counterfly Guard]

“Son, this ain’t a damn Lubi’s. This is an All Around Pizza and Deli. You ain’t the only one here with a gun.”

[Brett L]

Ooh. Too soon.

[db]

Brett, I had a question regarding 3D printing. Are there tansparent resins that can be used? If a transparent optical grade resin were available, manufacture of corrective lenses could be revolutionized.

[Brett L]

As of right now, I don’t know any filaments made from optical grade plastics. There are probably some sintering style printers that could do transparent resins. Also, depending on the accuracy you need, you could always make plastic casts that were pretty accurate.

[db]

I’m thinking of a small, portable system that could travel with an optometrist on trips to poorer areas. I think (but may be mistaken) that much of the cost of lenses must be labore. I would imagine that anymore, lenses are probably turned out on CNC rigs. Maybe a 3D printer could be lighter and more compact. The team would have less weight to carry in terms of protective packaging for lens blanks.

[Brett L]

Its a good idea. I’ll look into it and report back.

[Farturo]

Serial entrepreneur Saul Griffith developed a system like what you’re describing, using two flexible membranes and a variable suction system. The space between the membranes was filled with a certain volume of UV-settable liquid polymer, the suction bends the membranes to the desired shape, and the UV light locks them into solid form. I can’t find a good link with the video for this in action. Here is some info about it, though: http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries….._id=100270

And another: http://www.optiopia.com/

It appears that this project has been abandoned, by the condition of those websites.

[Brett L]

That’s cool and makes sense. Vacuum forming would probably be faster and more accurate.

[Professional Target]

Cheese and Pepperoni Overload!

[VG Zaytsev]

Chicago Police Cheif reaches new low.

Chicago’s embattled police superintendent dug himself deeper into a pit of controversy today by claiming that lawful firearm owners are agents of political corruption.

Appearing on a Chicago Sunday morning talk show, superintendent Garry McCarthy expressed his conviction that firearm owners who lobby their elected representatives or who donate money to political campaigns are engaged in corruption that endangers public safety. McCarthy went on to express his belief that judges and legislators should rely on public opinion polls when interpreting our Constitution.

After totally dismissing the citizen’s right to redress grievances, McCarthy trained his constitutional wisdom on the 2nd Amendment.

Despite recent court decisions to the contrary, McCarthy opined that the 2ndAmendment limits citizens to owning smooth-bore muskets. McCarthy went on to say that he believes that the 2nd Amendment supports mandatory liability insurance for firearm owners and the mandatory application of GPS tracking devices to civilian owned firearms.

http://www.prnewswire.com/news…..88711.html

[Ted S.]

McCarthy went on to say that he believes that the 2nd Amendment supports mandatory liability insurance for firearm owners

Congratulations to Hazel on being named Chicago’s Police Commissioner.

and the mandatory application of GPS tracking devices to civilian owned firearms

Mandatory always-on, always-streaming cameras for police. If you’re doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide.

[Professional Target]

McCarthy opined that the 2ndAmendment limits citizens to owning smooth-bore muskets.

Am I the only person who remembers the American Longrifle?
Doesn’t anyone else remember Riflemen were recruited by Washington for their longer reach?
Doesn’t anyone remember Peter Salem’s heroic shot that took Major Pitcairn at Bunker Hill?

[Farturo]

All those things occurred, like, over 100 years ago.

[Agammamon]

Rifles are, like, military weapons man – you can still use your smoothbore, muzzle-loading musket for hunting and sports.

[Tejicano]

Actually, smoothbore muskets were standard military arms at the time the constitution was written. A smoothbore could be loaded muck quicker than a similar arm with a rifled barrel so armies of that period carried smoothbores. Rifled long arms were for hunting but were pressed into military service because that is what the colonials had.

So when idiots like this state that the second amendment was about smoothbore muskets they are actually saying that it refers to contemporary military technology and not hunting arms. They are just too ignorant to understand this.

[generic Brand]

So it’s safe to assume that the King’s Men leave all of their issued firearms locked up when they are off the clock? None of them possess any guns of their own back at their houses?

superintendent Garry McCarthy expressed his conviction that firearm ownerspolice unions who lobby their elected representatives or who donate money to political campaigns are engaged in corruption that endangers public safety.

FTFY, Garry, no charge.

[The Sherriff of Fistingham?]

Just when we thought Rahm’s moronic lap dog had reached peak retard, McCarthy raised the bar with another little gem like this:

“McCarthy went on to express his belief that judges and legislators should rely on public opinion polls when interpreting our Constitution.”

This guy seems literally too stupid to breathe and chew gum simultaneously, I hope he has not defiled the gene pool already.

[Cdr Lytton]

Large pizza. It’s for FoE.

What the hell’s that all about? You gonna spit on it now?

No, I just told him that so he makes it good. Don’t spit on FoE’s pizza.

Yeah, thanks.

Roger, holding the spit.

[Randian]

Does that look like spit to you?

[bostonaod]

I don’t want a large Farva, I want a goddamned liter of cola

[prolefeed]

Why don’t I just bring my gun in and get a one hundred percent discount?

You — or your next of kin — might get a highly discounted rate on coffins.

I predict that pizza joint is the most unrobbable restaurant in the state.

[Zeb]

“Why don’t I just bring my gun in and get a one hundred percent discount?”

Well, I imagine that the owner and several customers would probably also be packing, so I doubt that would go well.

[Fist of Etiquette]

THE ANSWER TO GUN VIOLENCE ISN’T MORE GUNS.

[LTC(ret) John]

Right, it is having a faster gun!

[Brett L]

“God made man, Sam Colt made men equal.”

[db]

Only if the government can provide access to guns for every American.

[Cdr Lytton]

ADA for the 2nd Amendment?

[Enough About Palin]

Where’s my free government gun?????

[db]

If Colt were starting out today they would be using this as a rent seeking opportunity. A Colt in every disadvantaged holster!

[Proprietist]

Yes, I need an Obamagun to match my Obamaphone.

[Brett L]

Technically, I believe on of the upshots of Obamacare is that they could force every adult to buy a gun or pay a penaltax.

[lap83]

“Why don’t I just bring my gun in and get a one hundred percent discount?”

Because you wouldn’t be the only one with a gun there? 🙂

[lap83]

(after 5 other people make the same reply…)

[Fist of Etiquette]

The White House press corps is frustrated that they did not have the access to Obama they wanted…

Unrequited love is a bummer.

[Longtorso]

Unrequited love is a bummer.

And we’ll cure cancer by summer.
Laugh in News…

[Randian]

It really is telling that the media spent a week obsessed about a water bottle and is now whining about their lack of access to a golf game.

Fuck them. This is their bed.

[Quetzalcoatl]

I’m just disappointed that no one thought to call it “Water-gate”. It would just bring the whole thing full circle and we could finally stop with the gateification of scandals.

[Randian]

I can’t tell if you’re joking, but that was probably the #1 “joke” on social media outlets:

HuffPo

[Professional Target]

I still don’t get how this supposedly hurt him. People don’t think presidents drink water?

[wareagle]

it’s about trying to marginalize Rubio. Totally ignore the substance of what he said and immediately move to discount him as worthy of consideration because he not only took a drink of water, the bottle was not close by and he had to reach for it. Think of the children.

[Zeb]

I still don’t see how that could in any way marginalize him or affect anyone’s opinion of him. What the fuck is wrong with people?

[$park?]

He’s not a polished as Obama.

[Bobarian]

The shiniest, most highly polished, turd there has ever been?

Say it ain’t so, Joe…

[Palin's Buttplug]

It is because Rubio is a lightweight and the nervous hand-face gestures and water grabbing while looking at the camera all reinforce that notion. If he had just calmly taken a step to the water without staring down the camera then this would be nothing.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Even if we agree for the sake of argument on “nervous” how does that equate to “lightweight”?

[Butts Wagner]

It is because Rubio is a lightweight and the nervous hand-face gestures and water grabbing while looking at the camera all reinforce that notion.

Except that if a proggie does this, it’s endearing.

[Enough About Palin]

“What the fuck is wrong with people?”

The progressives and their media pals are racist. It really is that simple. How else does one explain that every conservative of color is enemy number one the moment that conservative of color starts to make a political rise. Progressives are racists.

[gaijin]

People don’t think presidents drink water?

Of course not, they are supposed to walk on it.

[Eduard van Haalen]

They’re supposed to turn it into Blue Moon.

[Brett L]

It means he gave a perfect speech, substantively.

[db]

Ke$ha could help out here.

[Zeb]

I’m very confused about that whole thing. Don’t people often drink water while giving speeches? Why would that be worthy of any remark at all?

[WTF]

Because..Hey! Look over there! SQUIRREL!!!

And of course, Menendez banging underage Dominican hookers is not worthy of notice.

[BakedPenguin]

Yep.

[mad libertarian guy]

It really is telling that the media spent a week obsessed about a water bottle and is now whining about their lack of access to a golf game.

The only thing worse than a state sponsored media is one that openly fawns over the King.

[Longtorso]

Top Banker Says Government Caused Housing Crisis
Bribed by federal bailouts and threatened by lawsuits, top bankers have grudgingly gone along with the narrative that greed and deregulation caused the recession.

But one prominent CEO is breaking ranks as he leaves the embattled industry.

While running regional giant BB&T for two decades, John Allison had an insider’s view of the factors behind the crisis. A burst of greed wasn’t one of them, he says. Nor was deregulation.

“The financial industry was not deregulated, it was misregulated,” he asserted….

For T o n y:
The Cause of the 2008 Mortgage Crash

[Drax the Destroyer]

Next Headline: “Top Banker blown up by drone. The bastard deserved it.”

[Ted S.]

Will they kill his dogs, too?

[Counterfly Guard]

Nah, too messy and risky. What’d they get the Innocence of Muslims guy for? Yeah, something like that.

[gaijin]

Certainly, he’ll be on Lizzy Warren’s hit list for challenging her narrative.

[Palin's Buttplug]

No one believes Allison.

Markets are not perfect. Bubbles happen (see the dot.com bubble) and are caused by mass hysteria – that buyers cannot lose money and this time “cannot miss”.

Canada completely missed the mortgage crisis by requiring recourse loans.

[Randian]

What do you mean recourse loans? Post-foreclosure in many states, notes backed by mortgages are recourse, you just have to foreclose first.

This “just-so” story doesn’t make a lot of sense.

[Palin's Buttplug]

In Canada if you default on a mortgage the bank can garner your OTHER assets – cash, stock, real estate, etc.

[robc]

In most of America, if you default on a mortgage the bank can garner, etc, etc.

[Randian]

In Canada if you default on a mortgage the bank can garner your OTHER assets – cash, stock, real estate, etc.

And what happens after a deficiency judgment in the (h/t robc) 34 recourse states in America?

Why do I have to repeat myself?

[LTC(ret) John]

You have never done collections, have you? I suggest you stop digging while you can still see out of the hole.

[VG Zaytsev]

Palin’s Buttplug| 2.19.13 @ 9:17AM |#

In Canada if you default on a mortgage the bank can garner your OTHER assets – cash, stock, real estate, etc.

If only ‘banks’ were aware of the law before they originated mortgages.

[robc]

About 34 recourse states in the US.

Of course, the 16ish non-recourse mortgage states were some of the hardest hit.

The housing crisis was only marginally national. It was primarily in about 5 states. If they had had the same level of crash as most of America, this wouldnt have been a huge deal. Bad, but not huge.

[Palin's Buttplug]

And those five states were not laden with inner-city minority loans. The CRA myth is a load of right-wing shit repeated by AM radio hacks.

[Randian]

There is plenty of evidence that what got the avalanche started was CRA loans. Does that mean it was the sole cause? No, but have you ever watched a neighborhood die? The poorest person stops taking care of his house first, and next thing you know the bears and raccoons have taken over.

Same thing here.

[robc]

Simple minds cant handle multi-variable analysis.

[Libertymike]

What about the FM radio hacks?

[gaijin]

I worry about the HAM radio hacks most.

[Professional Target]

It’s a straw man from the line, “Markets are not perfect.” No, markets are not perfect, markets are best.

Also, notice the mortgage crisis is presented as the norm, and Canada misses it by a single policy, rather than not having a crisis is normal and the US created one by defeating market signals, requiring shoddy loan standards and ordering the lowering of loan loss reserves.

[robc]

Actually, markets are perfect.

They dont do what we want them to do, however, as markets always obey reality.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Markets eventually set a perfect price but are prone to distortion until then. This is the version of the central theme of the great capitalist George Soros.

I know, in Wingnuttopia Soros came straight from the Kremlin because he is not GOP (saved you time Ltc John).

[WTF]

the great capitalist George Soros

Know who else was a Nazi sympathizer?

[LTC(ret) John]

Same Soros that cannot visit France and has no regrets being a youthful kapo – him, right?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Hey, many libertarians think that insider trading (Soros’s only “crime”) should be legal.

[$park?]

Palin’s Buttplug| 2.14.13 @ 4:07PM |#

I agree with Obama since I deny that the phony concept of “natural rights” even exist.

So our rights are defined by law and if healthcare someday becomes a right then so be it.

But currently free state provided healthcare is not a right.

SHOULD h/c be a right? That is a different discussion.

And now:

This is the version of the central theme of the great capitalist George Soros.

I’m over here having a good laugh at the fact that you call yourself a libertarian.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Because I deny that healthcare is a right? It most certainly isn’t.

We are governed by social contract and our rights are decided by popular vote. See Prohibition (then and now).

[$park?]

Because I deny that healthcare is a right?

Nope.

We are governed by social contract and our rights are decided by popular vote.

This would do it though. I’m no libertarian, I believe in actual freedom, but I can’t imagine any libertarians would even begin to think this.

[VG Zaytsev]

But he scores an 87 on shreeking proglitarian purity scale and that’s higher than either Paul or even Rothbard.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

I wonder if it’s possible for Shreek to talk without fragments of straw flying from his maw along with the spittle?

[Randian]

“Greed” must have necessarily played a part. As the Mustache as taught us, greed is good.

The question is what kind of incentives are set up to channel that greed.

Let’s not kid ourselves, though – the reason you set someone up with a 2/1 ARM with doing the bare minimum of income checking and letting them take 125% LTV because you can sell it in an ABS to Fannie Mae is greed.

It’s government’s fault, yes, but there is greed nonetheless.

[Drake]

A real bank – one that keeps the loans it writes – is too greedy to underwrite such risky garbage.

Without government-backed organized stupidity like Fannie Mae, would your theoretical banker be able to sell his shitty mortgages?

If the bankers weren’t lectured by Congressional liberals for their racism – not offering mortgages to the poor and minorities – would they have made such a concerted effort to sell that shit?

[Randian]

If the bankers weren’t lectured by Congressional liberals for their racism – not offering mortgages to the poor and minorities – would they have made such a concerted effort to sell that shit?

*snort*

Yes, they would. When your peer group is making billions, it’s a bitch to pass something like that up.

A real bank – one that keeps the loans it writes – is too greedy to underwrite such risky garbage.

You play the odds. For every 100 shitty mortgages you write, 30 don’t pan (let’s say – I have no ideas on the internal analysis).

You’re basically positing that hundreds of billions of bad paper was written because of “liberal guilt”. For fuck’s sake, that doesn’t pass the laugh test.

[LTC(ret) John]

Political pressure – not “liberal guilt” – in IL, O! and Jesse Jackson helped with rackets like this – if you didn’t hand out NINJA loans you accused of “redlining” and your licensing was in jeopardy. Think Barney Frank and Friends would ride to your rescue, or sodomize you with a rolled up copy of the CRA?

[Palin's Buttplug]

You’re a stupid redneck. And no one else outside that club believes Barney Frank or the CRA had shit to do with the mortgage crisis.

[Libertymike]

So, Barney and friends played no role in the financial meltdown?

[Palin's Buttplug]

None at all. Barney never “protected” Fannie Mae. A minority House member cannot get a meeting room. The GOP ran the House from 1994 to 2007.

It is wingnut myth.

[LTC(ret) John]

So you followed all the banking shakedowns in IL, did you? You know what ACORN, O! and Jesse did? Doesn’t seem like it.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Even if they got a few token loans to shut them up that has nothing to do with Barney Frank.

[KDN]

I’m just gonna leave a few links here:

Fannie Mayhem: A History

Fannie Mae’s Patron Saint

Frank had plenty of power as a ranking member, then as the committee chairman when they were attempting to head off Fannie’s problems in the early stage of the crisis. He’s not blameless by any means.

[RPR2]

what’s a better business decision? paying millions to Obama and ACORN for a redlining judgement and having nothing to show for it or making questionable loans that are at least backed by collateral and have some value? the banks made the obvious decision in the face of political and legal reality.

[Francisco d Anconia]

You’re a stupid redneck. And no one else outside that club believes Barney Frank or the CRA had shit to do with the mortgage crisis.

Poopy Head says, “Derp.”

CRA

AHR

[LTC(ret) John]

Stupid redneck? I’m from the Chicago suburbs. And somehow managed a BA, MA, JD and to make it from PVT to LTC. Now I am a mid-level analyst in a Swiss multi-national. I’ve had to learn German, Arabic and Dari (German enough for business, Arabic and Dari to survive). I’m no S. Hawking, but I think I’d count myself well above you in the intellectual realm, shriek.

[Drake]

Banks can be destroyed by politicians and regulators. Of course they obey.

[Cyto]

Just look at what happened in the GM takeover. Obama threatened to come after any banks and holding companies that fought him on their 30 billion in secured debt. Rather than risk complete destruction by taking the government to court over an obviously unconstitutional taking, they ate 30 billion in losses.

[Invisible Finger]

You’re basically positing that hundreds of billions of bad paper was written because of “liberal guilt”.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Liberal guilt created public housing of the 60’s. When the inevitable failure happened, it was replaced with “affordable housing” measures which essentially meant no-money-down liar loans. This isn’t an accident of timing, this was a deliberate policy BECAUSE public housing failed.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Fannie Mae has FICO standards. It was the Wall Street banks like Bear and Lehman who bought the worst shit.

[Randian]

And what the fuck difference does a FICO score make when your DTI ratio is greater than 70%?

You do know that you can have a great score and high DTI, right? Otherwise I would just assume you’re making shit up.

[LTC(ret) John]

“Otherwise I would just assume you’re making shit up.”

BINGO – Randian wins this round.

[Palin's Buttplug]

You’re missing the point. Fannie Mae had higher loan standards than the MBS mortgage mill did.

The IndyMacs and Countrywides fed shitty loans to the big investment banks to the tune of trillions. Fannie Mae cost us only 1/10 of TARP.

Your zeal to pin this on Fannie Mae has failed. Own up to the truth for once and quit listening to Fat Rush as your news source.

[Randian]

*Only* 1/10th of TARP? That’s your standard?

You very clearly have no idea what you’re talking about. Where did IndyMacs and Countrywides and Option One and all those other purveyors sell their shit?

Hm? Care to guess?

FNM and FRE’s stocks plummeted just like everyone else’s. Are you claiming the markets were wrong about them but right about everyone else?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Where did IndyMacs and Countrywides and Option One and all those other purveyors sell their shit?

To Lehman, Bear, Citi, and Merrill Lynch.

It was a WALL STREET disaster, pal.

Did FNM and FRE need capital too? Sure, but not nearly as much.

[Invisible Finger]

Wouldn’t it be great to know where shreek works?

[LTC(ret) John]

Cat grooming.

[Libertymike]

Hey, Rush is not as corpulent as he once was.

Have you no respect for pudgy pontificators?

[wareagle]

Own up to the truth for once and quit listening to Fat Rush as your news source.

what is with you people and your obsession with radio guys and fox? And give your libertarian pretension a rest once and for all. You are a leftist hack, consistently sucking the Obama/Dem cock at every turn, and you’re not even doing a good job of it.

[NeonCat]

Be patient with Shreeky, wareagle. He’s terrified Christians are going to take over the country so he has no problem with pseudo-pious, secular jackasses taking over the country.

It’s sad. It really is. If only he’d start his own “libertarian” site, something like “Wingnuts Not Welcome”, then he could spend all his time there telling people how awesome O is because he doesn’t believe in God the way the evil BOOSH! does.

[mad libertarian guy]

what is with you people and your obsession with radio guys and fox?

The overriding theory amongst leftists is that if you don’t buy in to leftist orthodoxy, it can only be because you’re waiting for your marching orders from O’LimBeckitty.

[Jordan]

Idiot. The government offered to buy sewage at top dollar, and people obliged them. And Fannie continually lowered their standards throughout the bubble, quadrupling its share of subprimes in the final decade of the bubble.

[Palin's Buttplug]

If true, that had nothing to do with the Wall Street meltdown. They were buying the worst shit and no one made them do it.

[Mr Whipple]

Why are we even still talking about this? Here’s everything you need to know in 50 minutes or less:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWI2OPcabtk

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

Gee, how did Fanny and Freddie end up $trillions in the red if they weren’t buying bad paper?

Stupid or evil…you’ve got to pick one of them, there are no other options.

[KDN]

Shriek’s making the case that Fannie and Freddie’s problems didn’t cause the crisis, which is slightly different than saying Fannie they didn’t have problems of their own. I think this is largely silly, as evidenced here (this from a guy who was actually on the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, though I think the Thomas, Hennessey and Holtz-Eakin’s dissent is more accurate).

Who wanted these dicey loans? The data shows that the principal buyers were insured banks, government sponsored enterprises (GSEs) such as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and the FHA?all government agencies or private companies forced to comply with government mandates about mortgage lending. When Fannie and Freddie were finally taken over by the government in 2008, more than 10 million subprime and other weak loans were either on their books or were in mortgage-backed securities they had guaranteed. An additional 4.5 million were guaranteed by the FHA and sold through Ginnie Mae before 2008, and a further 2.5 million loans were made under the rubric of the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA), which required insured banks to provide mortgage credit to home buyers who were at or below 80% of median income. Thus, almost two-thirds of all the bad mortgages in our financial system, many of which are now defaulting at unprecedented rates, were bought by government agencies or required by government regulations.

[Invisible Finger]

They were buying the worst shit and no one made them do it.

WTF? Funds like CalPERS put heavy pressure on Fannie and Freddie to up their returns.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

It’s like you pretend this was never published just 7 short days ago:

http://reason.com/blog/2013/02…..policy-was

[Francisco d Anconia]

It’s government’s fault, yes, but there is greed nonetheless.

THIS!

Where are the perp-walks for those that committed fraud?

Banks, if you sit quietly and take all the blame, we’ll pretend it never happened and sweep it under the rug. But, if you attempt to point out the government’s role in incentivizing your behavior…well, let’s just say… there will be complications.

/da G

[Invisible Finger]

Government can’t be greedy?

[Mr Whipple]

O/T

I had to share this.

http://tinyurl.com/bjczehx

[Mr Whipple]

^NSFW

[kwais]

How is a picture of a fish not safe for work?

[Way Of The Crane]

How is a picture of a fish not safe for work?

Wild salmon are not commercially sustainable, duh.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Not wild salmon. Wild snapper.

[Wind Rider]

If the snapper is red, you better get outta that bed.

[Rich]

Use your imagination.

[Way Of The Crane]

Gun owners can enjoy a 15 percent discount at All Around Pizzas and Deli in Virginia Beach. The owner had instituted the discount as a temporary show of support for gun rights but may make the special offer permanent.

To get your discount, all you have to do is fill out this registration form with your name, address, and type and number of guns you own.

[Drax the Destroyer]

And the time of day you usually are out of the house/sleeping.

[Counterfly Guard]

And also if you want light or regular mayo on your sandwich.

[Ted S.]

Light or regular artisanal mayo.

[Counterfly Guard]

OK, granted, Langley AFB is as close to Virginia Beach as I’ve ever gotten. But somehow it doesn’t strike me that a place called All Around Pizza and Deli, that is offering a discount to gun owners, would use artisinal mayo.

I could very well be wrong though!

Then again they probably wouldn’t offer light mayo either.

Then again, they might, seeing as how a lot of idiots buy that garbage, and it doesn’t cost much more to stock since industrial mayo, even the light kind, has a shelf life of about two centuries.

I don’t know, I probably should have gone with a different condiment to start with.

Onions maybe.

[LTC(ret) John]

“I don’t know, I probably should have gone with a different condiment to start with.”

No, then Ted would not have been able to sloopy-bait the thread!

[Ted S.]

Do we know if they even sell pizza, as opposed to deep-dish “pizza”?

[Counterfly Guard]

Mmmm…delicious deepdish slathered in light artisinal mayo, covered in foreskins and with a nice warm ultra-hoppy American beer.

[Way Of The Crane]

I wonder why I can’t picture a place specializing in Chicago-style pizza being tolerant of guns.

[T]

I do understand sloopy’s point, in that mayonnaise is about the easiest damn condiment in the world to make, especially if you have a food processor, blender, or stand mixer.

But I still find it hilarious to watch him froth at the mouth over it.

[sloopyinca]

But I still find it hilarious to watch him froth at the mouth over it.

My fucking kids can make batch after batch of delicious aioli that would put these hipster douchebags to shame. But they would be ashamed to try and sell it where we live. And do you know why? Because people where I live have a basic understanding of making condiments and would laugh at them. And ours would be 100% organic/farm-fresh, down to using our own eggs, oil and herbs we grew as opposed to these vermin that “try whenever possible” to use farm-fresh products.

Artisinal mayonnaise shops in Brooklyn are the culinary equivalent of the retarded kid in your neighborhood pulling their radio flyer around with one of those orange coolers filled with lemonade.

[mad libertarian guy]

Artisinal mayonnaise shops in Brooklyn are the culinary equivalent of the retarded kid in your neighborhood pulling their radio flyer around with one of those orange coolers filled with lemonade.

Except that I’d actually be likely to buy a cup of lemonade from the retarded kid.

[Counterfly Guard]

Good lord, Ted. That thing is more reliable than the IRS.

[T]

You never disappoint.

Actually, I’m still trying to convince the wife to help with my new business model: buy 5 gallon jars of mayo at Sam’s. Mix in something for extra added flavor. Repackage in tiny jars. Sell at farmer’s market for obscene markup.

I don’t understand her reluctance. This seems like a no brainer.

[$park?]

Hooray, Chicago!

McCarthy in the past has blamed “government-sponsored racism” and Sarah Palin for Chicago’s gun violence. He has been outspoken in his opposition to handgun proliferation, telling a radio panel last month he equates fewer guns with improved public safety.

“When people say concealed carry, I say Trayvon Martin,” McCarthy said, referring to the Florida teen who was shot and killed last February by a neighborhood watch volunteer, sparking controversy across the country. “I say Trayvon Martin because the answer to guns is not more guns, and just simply putting guns in people’s hands is going to lead to more tragedy.”

[Longtorso]

Sarah Palin for President. If she’s this all powerful, give her anything she wants.

[John]

Don’t you really want a super villain like that on your side?

[wareagle]

Trayvon was an innocent and Palin is the anti-christ. And more black kids die in Chicago while this yahoo insists that gun bans are the answer for drug gangs shooting each other.

[Randian]

In support of concealed carry, I say “Trayvon Martin” because without a gun, George Zimmerman would be dead from massive head trauma.

Setting aside the fact, of course, that Zimmerman could have just as easily been open carrying and the results would be the same, which obliterates this dipshit’s point.

[Drake]

He had a point?

[Bobarian]

It’s at the top of his cone shaped hat.

[SugarFree]

Without a gun, Zimmerman wouldn’t have been playing out his Paul Blart fantasies.

[Wind Rider]

Blart was unarmed. . .

[robc]

And IF Zimmerman was the aggressor, guess what might have helped Trayvon out?

[Randian]

Good counterpoint there too.

[Brett L]

I ain’t heard much about Trayvon. I know the wheels of justice grind slow, but when does Mr. Zimmerman get his trial?

[Rich]

After he dies in custody?

[Randian]

Uh, he was just denied a motion to extend his time to prepare, so even though I think he’s getting a bad rap, the delays are probably his doing.

[Brett L]

So he’s got a smart lawyer. Good. Honestly, for all the column-inches spent on Mr. Zimmerman since NYC got that rain, he could have been acquitted and released for all I know.

[Ted S.]

When it’s politically expedient.

[Way Of The Crane]

The real trial begins after his acquitted and brought up on Federal charges because of, you know, Justice…

[WTF]

And that isn’t double jeopardy, because, fuck you, that’s why.

[Fatty Bolger]

Just saw an article on this. His trial is in June.

Apparently the prosecution managed to unlock his phone, including GPS data. The defense says that the GPS data for the day in question is missing, along with some texts and emails.

[Fatty Bolger]

That should be Trayvon Martin’s phone.

[generic Brand]

Judge Nelson in Seminole County is assigned to his case, and she has blocks of time set aside for the Zimmerman trial next month (I set hearings for a lot of Florida counties so when looking over the judge’s county that stood out to me).

[Rich]

Obviously the solution is PSAs with famous rappers rapping about how guns ain’t cool.

[LTC(ret) John]

Nedz moar midnight basketball, gun buy backs with Nike credits and universal preschool!

[Brett L]

They could use laser Tupac! It could be like the old Yul Brenner smoking PSA.

[Rich]

Excellent! They could use laser *Trayvon*!

[Brett L]

Yeah, that might be better. Otherwise, eventually they’re going to make laser Biggie, and then its all over.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

…they’re going to make laser Biggie…

Do we have a power source that can produce enough energy to make laser Biggie?

[Brett L]

Fusion is still 10 years away just like it has been for the last 50.

[gaijin]

Interesting review of a book in Science last month…Rejecting the Evidence: Why law enforcement resists science. From the review:

The heart of the book is Harris’s effort to explain “the real reasons” that police and prosecutors resist change. In a particularly interesting chapter, Harris argues that the problem stems, in part, from psychological biases arising from cognitive dissonance, group polarization, loss aversion, and status threats.

So basically, cops are merely humans…but with special powers over the rest of us. All the reason one needs to understand why gun laws should make no exception for law enforcement…oh and that McCarthy is just another ignorant, FYTW, top cop .

[Thane of Whiterun]

ooh, look at this lovely butthurt Amazon review:

as I commented after the previous reviewed individual tore up mr Harris As an individual who insists that evidence collected at a crime scene Lacks any scientific value and strictly considers their years of expert testimony and court certification bogus and without merit. I guess all defendants convicted via forensic evidence be released to play in Harris’s neighborhood.
Preston. S. Marks, PH.D
Fellow American college of forensic examiners
Diplomat, board of law enforcement experts
Certified fraud examiners
Certified enrolled agent testifying before the IRS
Expert witness in criminal investigations & Narcotic enforcement
NYC Detective, retired after 20 yrs
Investigator, US IRS agent

And a comment elsewhere:

The review of Mr Harris’ text shows ignorance and open disrespect for forensic investigators whom are certified in their respective scientific fields by criminal jurisdiction. Judges and prosecuting attys.i guess his flawed biased opinions hold true for experts testifying for the defense. He is a member of so called anti police who see the light only after they r mugged or mothers and sisters r raped and murdered!

[Thane of Whiterun]

I’m glad to know this barely-literate ex-cop was awarded a PhD.

…though he claims it’s because his “primary language is Hebrew and German” (Yiddish?), which totally explains the fact that he can’t spell “are”

[Heroic Mulatto]

Ah yes, Preston Marks, a good yiddisher name. Maybe it’s short for Pinchus Markenstein?

[Kaptious Kristen]

I was gonna say – how the fuck did that person earn a PhD? Degree mill?

[Enough About Palin]

“”When people say concealed carry, I say Trayvon Martin,” McCarthy said”

It’s great to see that McCarthy has acknowledged that Trayvon received the justice he so richly deserved. I’m actually pleasantly surprised.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Burger King’s twitter account was hacked…

Who the hell is following that feed?

[Drax the Destroyer]

Bill. Clinton. Circa 1994.

[MJGreen]

Hacked by warlords?

[Eduard van Haalen]

Did the hacker at least make a horse joke?

[Longtorso]

Global Warming Consensus Looking More Like A Myth
Environment: The global warming alarmists repeat the line endlessly. They claim that there is a consensus among scientists that man is causing climate change. Fact is, they’re not even close.

Yes, many climate scientists believe that emissions of greenhouse gases are heating the earth. Of course there are some who don’t.

But when confining the question to geoscientists and engineers, it turns out that only 36% believe that human activities are causing Earth’s climate to warm….

[gaijin]

But those are not the ‘right’ people to ask.

[Drax the Destroyer]

A fair majority of engineering types I’ve ran into are conservative (economic) leaning. Maybe having a grasp on the laws of thermodynamics cues them into knowing that “you can’t get something for nothing” although most scientists should understand that concept. I think a general distinction between engineers and scientists is that engineers want to work in the physical, while scientists prefer the theoretical world. The latter of which could involve a world where oil/fossil fuel usage is curbed by royal edict (guns up our asses) and somehow (magically) this doesn’t result in mass starvation and billions of corpses.

Unfortunately, much like some of their mortal enemies, libertarian types have no choice but to live in a hypothetical world…

[Ted S.]

Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

[T]

In general, whatever you do as an engineer has to work at the end of the day. This breeds a sort of brutal pragmatism.

[KMA Too]

“I think a general distinction between engineers and scientists is that engineers want to work in the physical, while scientists prefer the theoretical world.”

Man, oh man, that premise would make such a killer sit-com!

[The Sherriff of Fistingham?]

“”I think a general distinction between engineers and scientists is that engineers want to work in the physical,”

Like, physically getting off their asses and designing something functional to, you know,…get paid.

while scientists prefer the theoretical world.”

Like sitting back on their on their tenured asses hypothesizing about which special interest group might theoretically funnel the biggest grants their way.

[Brett L]

But when confining the question to geoscientists and engineers

We’ve actually had experience with chaotic metastable systems, so pardon us if we think that emissions might be a tertiary or quaternary term in the global energy balance equation.

[Auric Demonocles]

Listen, I think it’s clear that my car has more of an effect on the planet’s temperature than that little ball of nuclear fury. That thing is like, over 100 years old. What are you, a wingnut?

[db]

Same thing with economic central planning. When you know how hard it is to design control schemes to take into account the interactions of systems that obey simple physicochemical and thermodynamic laws, you have a great big belly laugh followed by a facepalm when someone suggests that a system as complex as even the smallest economy can be predicred and controlld by Top. Men.

The exceptions would be young EEs straight out of school who don’t yet understand how control systems interact with the real world. But they learn fast when their code blows something up or ruins equipment (hopefully their work gets checked by a senior engineer before the damage is done).

[Palin's Buttplug]

Obama will receive the Presidential Medal of Distinction, the office of Israeli President Shimon Peres announced Monday.

The first sitting U.S. president to receive the award is being honored for making “a unique and significant contribution to strengthening the State of Israel and the security of its citizens,” said the announcement.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/…..u/1927927/

But, but Fox News keeps saying that Obama and Israel hate each other.

[Randian]

I bet you thought that Nobel Peace Prize meant an end to the wars, too.

[wareagle]

campaigning in support of Israel’s enemies is unique, no question about it. One more award that going forward will have no meaning.

[$park?]

But, but Fox News keeps saying that Obama and Israel hate each other.

They do?

[LTC(ret) John]

Wow, who knew Shimon Peres = All Israel!

[Way Of The Crane]

It’s just like how Obama=The Rest of the World

[VG Zaytsev]

Obama will receive the Presidential Medal of Distinction, the office of Israeli President Shimon Peres announced Monday.

The first sitting U.S. president to receive the award

What’s next for this attention whore, a peerage from QEII perhaps.

[NeonCat]

Given the fucking he’s giving the American people, he ought to sweep the AVN awards.

[Way Of The Crane]

It couldn’t possibly be just another case of world leaders pandering to each other with meaningless medals could it?

Obama bestowed Peres the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, last year at the White House.

[Eduard van Haalen]

I will award you the Order of Awesome, First Class, if you award me an Ultra Sexiness Medal. We both win!

[Kaptious Kristen]

If someone awards me the Beter Boobs Than Kate Upton Medal of Valor, surely that will automatically make my boobs better than Kate Upton’s, yes?

[Enough About Palin]

Your boobs are Dutch?

[PS]

According to law enforcement officials, Adam Lanza may have been motivated to commit the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School by a desire to outdo Anders Breivik, the Norwegian who killed 77 people in 2011.

I knew we could find a way to put the blame on right-wing extremism if we tried hard enough.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Let’s conveniently ignore the stricter gun laws in Norway though.

[Counterfly Guard]

The last bullet in the corpse of American exceptionalism.

[PS]

He planned to buy his guns here, actually:

Breivik spent six days in Prague in late August and early September 2010. He chose the Czech Republic because the country has some of the most relaxed laws regarding guns and drugs in Europe. Following his Internet inquiry, Breivik noted that “Prague is known for maybe being the most important transit site point for illicit drugs and weapons in Europe”. Despite the fact that Prague has one of the lowest crime rates[31] among European capitals, Breivik observed that he was not looking forward to his trip to the Central European capital, because he has “heard that there are very brutal and cynical criminals”.
[…]
In the end, he concluded that Prague was “far from an ideal city to buy guns”, nothing like “what the BBC reported”, and that he had felt “safer in Prague than in Oslo”.

[Thane of Whiterun]

Clearly we need to ban Assault Norwegians.

Hell, drone those motherfuckers!

[Quetzalcoatl]

I’ve been assured that he did it because of Mass Effect.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Maybe the ending of Mass Effect 3 enraged him…except I think that came out in 2012…

[AuH2O]

But seriously, fuck Bioware. They should have given you the Babylon 5 option:

“NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY GALAXY!”

[MJGreen]

The obvious option is destroy, and why can’t you radio the allied forces to get EDI and the Geth out of range of the relays? You’re safe up there on the Citadel; take as much time as you need so that synthetic casualties are minimized.

But noooo, you have to make your decision right there and destroy the one synthetic race that actually disproves the whole Reaper motivation.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Definitely some half-assed story-telling. You know something is wrong when throngs of illiterate video game players can point out plot-holes 10 seconds after that shit was dumped on them.

It’s too bad, since ME3 finally had a decent balance in the gameplay over the first 2, but with a story that says “Hey, you know all the work you did for 50-60 hours? Yeah, it was bullshit, you wasted your life and should feel ashamed. Here’s a shitty ending to make you hate yourself. Welcome to failure fuckers.”

Granted, that’s a message a lot of people need to hear, but they don’t want to hear it after dropping $60 bucks for entertainment. Oh well…it pays to wait for the reviews I guess.

[SIV]

According to law enforcement officials

Except…

A spokesman for the Connecticut State Police dismissed the CBS report, calling it speculation.

“It’s inaccurate … I talked with CBS and told them that,” Lt. Paul Vance told CNN.

[AlmightyJB]

Yeah, I was going to comment that not one shread of evidence was given, nor more importantly asked for, for these assertions.

[PS]

Let’s not argue about who said what. Or who killed who. Linking Lanza to right-wing extremism is for the greater good of all.

[Whahappan?]

What difference, at this point, does it make?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has returned to Venezuela after undergoing cancer treatment in Cuba.

At some point it’s going to turn into a Weekend at Bernie’s type situation.

[LTC(ret) John]

It isn’t already?

[Counterfly Guard]

I don’t know, I figure with his relationship with Cuba, it will be more of a Serpent and the Rainbow type situation.

[$park?]

Hooray, New Hampshire!

New Hampshire’s House is voting this week whether lawmakers should get free ski passes for Cannon Mountain.
…
Supporters argue that lawmakers have open access to state parks which promotes awareness of the locations. They say skiing at Cannon doesn’t add costs to the ski area and encourages members to experience that part of New Hampshire culture.

[Ted S.]

If they get to ski free at Cannon, then everybody should. It won’t add costs to the ski area.

[Spoonman.]

Why don’t they just sell the ski area?

[Quetzalcoatl]

So they’re assuming that their residents want to emulate their sad local politicians?

Look honey, I’m skiing! Just like Councilman Howser!

[Counterfly Guard]

Councilman Howser does black diamonds. You’re screwing around on the bunny slopes, more like Ombudsman Newberg.

[Way Of The Crane]

I’m offended by the implication that Jewish ombudsmen cannot ski.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

You know who else implied Jews couldn’t ski?

[Way Of The Crane]

Woody Allen?

[$park?]

Buddy Hackett?

[KMA Too]

Sonny Bono? Nope, dammit…Sorry, that would be the Italians

[LTC(ret) John]

We agree.

sincerely,

The Trees

[EDG reppin' LBC]

All fine answers, but incorrect. The correct answer is Leni Riefenstahl. Thanks for playing.

[Zeb]

Meh. Legislatures generally set their own pay. NH legislators get $100 per year (plus travel expenses, etc.). Giving themselves a minor perk isn’t the worst thing in the world. Maybe they will spend a lot of time on it and not get around to repealing stand your ground.

[Zeb]

But, no, the state should not be running ski areas.

[Slammer]

According to law enforcement officials, Adam Lanza may have been motivated to commit the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School by a desire to outdo Anders Breivik, the Norwegian who killed 77 people in 2011.

I stopped after the first comma.

[jesse.in.mb]

We need to have sensible Norwegian control laws!

[Zeb]

“I stopped after the first comma.”

No you didn’t.

[Fist of Etiquette]

…while banning almost identical models of some of these weapons because of cosmetic attachments.

Hello Kitty stickers make you legal.

[Counterfly Guard]

Feline Assault Greetings.

[Brett L]

As best I can tell, This will still be legal.

Also, don’t GIS for “hello kitty ar-15” at work.

[Rich]

Is it OK to GIS for “Sapphire Bullets Of Pure Love”?

[Brett L]

Aside from the atrocious haircuts of the late 80s and early 90s TMBG fans, yes.

[H. Reardon]

Hello Kitty stickers make you legal.

Sadly, it does not.

[PS]

Burger King’s twitter account was hacked and then used to promote McDonald’s.

The Hamburglar is currently being held for questioning.

[Counterfly Guard]

+1 robble robble

[Fist of Etiquette]

The King should do like other monarchs. That Kuwaiti emir got someone two years in prison for an insulting tweet.

[LTC(ret) John]

I assume that Mayor McCheese would lead some sort of Parliamentarian revolt, ala English Civil War, vs the King.

[AuH2O]

And they could be called something cool, like Roundheads!

[AlmightyJB]

Funny

[AuH2O]

Lena Dunham is not brave

Lena Dunham is not a rape victim, she is a writer-actor-director who is exceptionally well compensated both financially and in the artist’s capital of choice ? attention ? for exploiting her body as an artistic commodity. This is wholly deserved: Dunham is one of the medium’s most gifted artists working at her full potential. However, calling this brave as opposed to a calculated risk ? the ideal impact of which is the exact debate that it has caused ? is paternalistic, condescending, and intellectually dishonest. Writers are narcissists: They presume that their personal obsessions and neuroses are of deep fascination ? or even beneficial ? to potentially millions of people. Actors are narcissists: Outside of a musical, there is no breed of human more likely to break into public song. This is not a negative. Narcissism is as essential to the artist’s temperament as competition to the athlete’s; without it driving most of your waking hours, you are, at best, a precocious hobbyist. No one dragged Lena Dunham in front of the camera. As a producer, I will confidently state that no one was ever cast in a major television show against their will regardless of how much people wanted to see their tits.

Not all writers are narcissistic. All writers in Hollywood, maybe, but not all writers.

[John]

Whether it be bravery or whatever you want to call it, it takes a certain something to be a homely flat chested fat women and take off your clothes for a major cable network audience.

[$park?]

I imagine the point is that it takes an incredible amount of narcissism to think anyone wants to see a homely flat chested woman naked.

[John]

I think she thinks she is doing it ironically or something. See, I am homely and fat and am on TV naked like all of the pretty thin women in Hollywood. Isn’t that funny?

[PS]

My Czech wife is amazed at how supremely confident fat, sloppy, badly-dressed young American women are.

There’s such a thing as having too much self-esteem, and it’s a pandemic problem in the US. While it may have worked out for this woman, and her having a hit TV show, it’s a negative factor for society as a whole.

[John]

The fact is even attractive and slim women over 30 really can’t carry off what an attractive 18 year old woman can. A few, who have incredible genes can. But most can’t. And thus look better with some clothes on.

[T]

On that note, Emilia Clarke is the best thing on HBO right now. Piss on Lena Dunham and the rest of her skank crew. Winter Is Coming, bitches.

[Way Of The Crane]

There’s such a thing as having too much self-esteem, and it’s a pandemic problem in the US. While it may have worked out for this woman, and her having a hit TV show, it’s a negative factor for society as a whole.

Bullies serve a purpose. If you get rid of all the sharks in the ocean, then the slow and stupid fish start proliferating.

[AuH2O]

Well, it worked out for her for a very specific reason:

Dunham was born in New York City.[2] Her father, Carroll Dunham, is a painter of “overtly sexualized pop art”, and her mother, Laurie Simmons, is a photographer and designer who creates “disquieting domestic tableaux” with dolls.[3][4] Dunham’s father is Protestant, and according to Dunham, a Mayflower descendant;[5][6] Dunham’s mother is Jewish.[7][8] She has a younger sister, Grace, who is a model and student at Brown University and who starred in Dunham’s first film Tiny Furniture.[9] As children, both Lena and Grace were babysat by photographers Sherri Zuckerman and Catherine McGann.[citation needed]

Dunham attended Saint Ann’s School in Brooklyn, New York, where she met Tiny Furniture actress and Girls co-star Jemima Kirke. She graduated from Oberlin College in 2008, where she studied creative writing.[10]

[John]

Goldwater,

Dunham is the ultimate example of someone from the right family and with the right views being rewarded regardless of her inherent mediocrity.

[AuH2O]

And that is why I find her fucking infuriating, John.

[lap83]

I would agree that having too much self-esteem is bad, but disagree with the implication that it should be based on how attractive other people think you are.

[lap83]

I do find Lena Dunham annoying to be sure, but I wouldn’t have even learned about her if it wasn’t for the strange obsession many of you guys have with her.

[$park?]

disagree with the implication that it should be based on how attractive other people think you are.

Unless you’re planning to parade around naked.

[Zeb]

Maybe she’s not parading around naked for your pleasure?

[$park?]

Maybe she’s not parading around naked for your pleasure?

In this case, she isn’t only because I don’t watch her show. She is parading around naked on a televised show though, she must be expecting someone is watching.

[PS]

I would agree that having too much self-esteem is bad, but disagree with the implication that it should be based on how attractive other people think you are.

This woman is in her, what, mid-20s? She’s fat by choice and she dresses like a slob by choice. Like so many of the loud, fat, sloppy and extremely confident American tourists I see here in Prague all the time, in huge contrast to Czech women who are so much more elegant. Are women judged by their looks? Of course they are. Especially by other women. Pretending that doesn’t happen is PC Marxist bullshit. That’s a far cry from saying women should or are solely be judged on their looks. Men are also judged by their looks, it’s a fact of life, but for women it’s a bigger factor.

Should people have so much self-esteem that they can’t be bothered to have a healthy weight when they are in the prime of life and it’s easy? Should they have so much self-esteem that they think it’s okay to dress like a beach bums in classy cafes and restaurants?

[The Sherriff of Fistingham?]

“I think she thinks she is doing it ironically or something. See, I am homely and fat and am on TV naked like all of the pretty thin women in Hollywood. Isn’t that funny?”

Do you mean, like;

“And up next on channel 5 eyewitness news, in a baffling case, a man sought by police, identified only as “John” …from an internet handle, was apprehended last night, naked and covered in…..”

That just might not be that funny…

[Ted S.]

Rule 34, $park?.

[wareagle]

I think Ron White had the right idea – you see one woman naked….you want to see the others naked, too.

Besides, Dunham’s career absent this would be what?

[The Sherriff of Fistingham?]

“Besides, Dunham’s career absent this would be what?”

What’s on in the background…

[Zeb]

There may be other reasons for nudity on TV besides titillation. I doubt Dunham is under any illusion that there are loads of people out there just pining to see her naked.

[Randian]

Girls creator and star Lena Dunham is debatably the most significant figure currently working in television

Only if the debate lasts 10 seconds and results in a resounding ‘no’.

Christ television reviewers are so far up her ass that it makes me vomit.

[a better weapon]

Another review by Brian McGreevy:

No Skin Off My Nose: 10/10, would watch again.

[Ted S.]

I don’t have HBO/Showtime, so I’d never even heard of “Girls” until people here started going on and on about this Lena Dunham person, about whom I’d also never heard.

I get the impression that these HBO/Showtime shows are TV for the Pauline Kael Manhattan class, and the rest of us get it shoved down our throats because they’re prominent in the national media.

[AuH2O]

Meanwhile, it took until this season for television critics to go, “Oh, yeah, Boardwalk Empire is really good and maybe on level with The Sopranos and other great crime TV.”

I have a lot of feelings about why Boardwalk Empire is underrated, but it mainly comes down to this: emotion. We are used to seeing Italian gangsters- guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves and fly from towering rage to somber depression in an instant. You can even see this on Boardwalk Empire, with the way that the new generation of Italian gangsters like Capone and Luciano are much more emotional than Nucky. Nucky, meanwhile, is not only a constantly calculating politician- he is an Irish gangster, and one from the 1920s at that. Of course hes emotionally reserved- that’s the character. I think Boardwalk Empire has deep emotions- they just aren’t expressed the way we are used to seeing in the genre, so we don’t credit them as much.

And just as Deadwood is the best show ever not just for its amazing characters, direction, and acting, but also for the amazing idea it explored (how does society/community form?), Boardwalk Empire is examining a fascinating period in American history, especially in the struggle that emerged between modernity and more traditional values.

[gaijin]

narcissism, self interest…fine lines.

[Quetzalcoatl]

Dunham is one of the medium’s most gifted artists working at her full potential.

And that is just so sad.

[Rich]

LOL

[MJGreen]

This is the kind of shit that really depresses me, in an admittedly condescending and paternalistic way. I think she could be a fine writer and director. In 10 or 20 years.

Her show, her acting and especially her directing are mediocre. But she’s young. Maybe she’ll grow into something great, but being told she’s already a genius auteur working at her full potential probably lessens that chance. It’s harder to grow if the cool people tell you you’re doing swell.

[SugarFree]

All writers are narcissistic. Only someone who thinks they have something to say even attempts to say it.

Of course, there are degrees of self-absorption.

[$park?]

Some are single-ply and some are quilted like Northern.

[Way Of The Crane]

Who the fuck is Lena Dunham?

[Rich]

Why, she’s *Carroll Dunham’s daughter*, you Philistine!

[Way Of The Crane]

Carroll Dunham? Didn’t she play Misses Garrett on Facts of Life?

[John]

http://legalinsurrection.com/2…..-liberals/

Upworthy provides more evidence, as if any were needed, of this being generation retard. This is why libertarians can’t get the youth vote. They are speaking English while the youth are speaking retard.

[John]

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/…..-everyone/

How universal institutionalization is bad for kids. She makes a good point. If preschool were so great, why do upper middle class and rich parents, who have options, choose to stay home with their kids or hire nannies rather then send their kids off to an institution?

[Counterfly Guard]

Your first mistake is thinking they give a shit whether or not it is good or bad for kids.

[John]

Of course they don’t. They just want a jobs program for Dem voters with few marketable skills.

[Drax the Destroyer]

They have marketable skills. If they can spout nationalist gibberish and write on a chalkboard, I’m sure they can flip burgers , pick fruit, and chop down trees for less than minimum wage.

And if they can’t, the could/should join the sex industry and/or sell pot.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I don’t think she could put more links in if she tried.

But I’ll be bookmarking it and reading more of it later.

[mad libertarian guy]

I saw a tweet yesterday that said something to the effect of “The US is the richest, freest, greatest country ever, yet we don’t have $ for kindergarten teachers” to which my reply was “Yet we still somehow managed to become the richest, freest, greatest country ever without universal kindergarten.”

I received no reply.

[Zeb]

Someone should point out to that person that scools are done by states, and that most do have universal kindergarten with teachers who are paid comparably to other public school teachers.
Pre-school is babysitting. Why the fuck should they get paid for anything else?

[mad libertarian guy]

Pre-school is babysitting. Why the fuck should they get paid for anything else?

Rational Answer: They shouldn’t.

Team BLUE Pre-Approved Answer: Because it will add thousands more people to union ranks that feed the Team BLUE machine TEH CHILLDRINZ!!!!

[lap83]

I love Penelope Trunk and was thinking of posting that here myself.

She’s one of the rare Democrats that are capable of being rational.

[Zeb]

How about this? If you can’t afford to stay home with your kids (at least one parent), or pay for daycare, don’t have them. All this is going to do is to make it even easier to have kids you can[t afford and to encourage parents to be even less involved with their kids.

[Rich]

The [Brain Activity Map] project, which could ultimately cost billions of dollars, is expected to be part of the president’s budget proposal next month.

BAM!

[SIV]

Not one cent for phrenology

[Counterfly Guard]

Nor trepanning. It’s like they WANT the project to fail.

[Rich]

“The Trepan Martin Project”

[Thane of Whiterun]

Ooo, are you proud that you know such a big word, SIV?

Go back to crying over the evil COSMOTARIUNNNSSSS.

Or don’t.

[SIV]

Fuck off pussy.

[gaijin]

So we’ll be seeing lots of science that proves certain thought patterns reflect defects in the brain?

[Thane of Whiterun]

Story C. Landis, the director of the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, said that when she heard Mr. Obama’s speech, she thought he was referring to an existing National Institutes of Health project to map the static human brain. “But he wasn’t,” she said. “He was referring to a new project to map the active human brain that the N.I.H. hopes to fund next year.”

Brilliant!

Anyway, the imaging tech to create such a “map” isn’t there yet.

Let’s get a mouse done first…

[Thane of Whiterun]

Let’s get a mouse done first…

Though I must add the caveat that such a thing might be part of the project; I don’t know the details of the proposal.

[SIV]

Fuck off slaver. Fund your own psuedoscience.

[Thane of Whiterun]

Because I said a fuck lot about government funding for it.

Believe it or not, I can be skeptical of the government’s role in science without flinging my shit around like a monkey.

[SIV]

Seeing as you attacked me for saying the government should NOT fund it then in another comment said “they should do a mouse first” you obviously were in favor of government funding for neuroscience.

[Thane of Whiterun]

I “attacked” you for comparing the research to phrenology.

I said “Let’s get a mouse done first”, idiot.

[Wind Rider]

Using the plural form, because, ya know, if we don’t all work together shoulder to shoulder to realize the glorious leader’s vision as stated in the latest 5 minute plan, how will we ever achieve the perfect new progessive man!

[Thane of Whiterun]

Using the plural form because I work in a fucking neuroscience lab.

[Zeb]

Since the government is probably going to fund neuroscience research regardless of what you or I think about it, I think it is reasonable to comment on how they ought to go about it, assuming that they are going to fund it. I have opinions on lots of things I don’t think the government should do beyond “they shouldn’t do it”.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Dating site Christian Mingle has a rapist problem:

http://www.globalpost.com/disp…..pe-victims

Don’t worry, Christian ladies! Your body will protect you from pregnancy in a legitimate rape.

[John]

What is the big deal? Rape isn’t nearly as big of a problem as guns. The real danger here is one of those women might shoot one of those guys and cause a tragedy rather than sit back and make the best of the rape.

http://nation.foxnews.com/gun-…..heir-hands

[Ice Nine]

He mingled with a Christian. So?

[Way Of The Crane]

In all fairness, does the type of woman that joins a dating site like Christian Mingle ever have sex that could be considered vouluntary?

[T]

Anecdata: some born-again Xtian women, according to some guys I know, are stone freaks in bed. They got good at it during their sinnin’ days, and stil like it, but want to be all respectable and shit during the day. It’s just another variation of the madonna/whore thing.

Follow up at your own risk. I have no personal knowledge.

[mad libertarian guy]

Anecdata: some born-again Xtian women, according to some guys I know, are stone freaks in bed.

2 points:

Every Mormon woman my wife is friends with is reportedly a freak in bed. And it has nothing to do with prior experience.

At the now defunct Ichthus (proof that there is a god and that he favors me at the moment – my property borders the Ichthus farm where the 4 day Jesus fest took place) it was said that chicks loved to take it in the ass because it somehow preserved their virginity.

[Brett L]

chicks loved to take it in the ass because it somehow preserved their virginity.

Sadly, “technical virginity” fell out of favor with the Christian girls about the time I got old enough to understand why it was a good thing. Glad to hear it is making a comeback.

[generic Brand]

I didn’t know Ichthus was defunct. I could’ve swore they just had a festival last spring… maybe that was their last one.

Given, I only went when I was a young teenager, but I don’t recall a lot of fornicating going on. I only remember dumping leftover baked beans in the porta-potty and dribbling a few on the seat and watching people’s reactions.

[mad libertarian guy]

Last spring was the last one. They can’t afford it any longer. And not a moment too soon as a week of window rattling Jesus music fucking sucked.

I live on the corner in the back of the property and have a small trail that goes through the trees to the park. That small trail was littered with underwear, both male and female, and other unseemly things that assured me sex was happening at the festival. Perhaps not rampant sex, but some (which is logical when you get upwards of 10,000 teenagers together).

[WTF]

Needz moar christfag.

[Don Mynack]

I once did some web development work for Christian dating site. Dude who ran it was a scumbag who used it to find women to cheat on his wife with. She found out and divorced him.

[John]

http://www.nationalreview.com/…..verbruggen

David Frum rises to the level of criminal stupidity. What we need are guns that don’t go off when you drop them. He actually said that because you know guns just go off every time you drop one.

[robc]

Guess what doesnt fire in this video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llM3SRu0W6g

[John]

You really have to be a complete moron to think weapons just go off when you drop them.

[WTF]

What we need are guns that don’t go off when you drop them.

So, Frum thinks we need more Glocks?

[Brett L]

You know one thing I would encourage gun manufacturers to end, if they haven’t already, is having to pull the trigger on some models of pistol to disassemble the weapon. Yes, yes, the first thing I do is clear the chamber, but other idiots shoot themselves, and it goes against the rule of “keep your finger off the trigger unless you want to shoot something right now.”

[T]

Personally, I want to kick whoever invented the magazine disconnect safety repeatedly in the head.

[Brett L]

Yeah. I assume they have engineers designing these things, but someone needs to send them a treatise on failure modes, and why, pulling a trigger to release the slide has a bad failure mode. Or why having the gun supposedly be safe with the magazine out and a round in the chamber has a sub-optimal failure mode.

[T]

It’s like dealing with German-designed industrial equipment. They assume everybody who will operate the stuff has been trained on industrial machinery since the age of 13, and knows their ass from a hole in the ground. The conversation goes like this:
“Hey, what happens when somebody does this?”
“No vun would be such a dumkopf.”
“You haven’t seen the clowns that work on my plant floor, have you?”

Same thing. Who would be so stupid as to not clear the weapon before trying to disassemble it? Oh, I can find you a couple. Give me 5 minutes.

[Brett L]

“Hey, what happens when somebody does this?”
“No vun would be such a dumkopf.”

This is pretty much the discussion between me and my QA dept when I was programming. (They were always right.)

[Gray Ghost]

Who would be so stupid as to not clear the weapon before trying to disassemble it? Oh, I can find you a couple. Give me 5 minutes.

Such as this guy. (Link is to article detailing, with pictures, a guy ND’ing a Glock through his hand.)

I own two striker-fired pistols and that step of the take down procedure always scares me.

[Rich]

“Every dollar we invested to map the human genome returned $140 to our economy ? every dollar,” [Obama] said.

Citation needed.

[gaijin]

and funny, wasn’t it the private effort of Craig Vintner’s team that did the job in half the time as the official gov effort?

[Drake]

We have entered the 5th year of his Presidency and he hasn’t needed a citation once.

[Counterfly Guard]

Only eleven more to go!

[NoVAHockey]

I saw a Michelle Obama 2016 bumper sticker this morning. I gave up caring for Lent, otherwise I probably would have barfed.

[mad libertarian guy]

I saw a Michelle Obama 2016 bumper sticker this morning.

*Barf*

[Jerry on the boat]

Brazen armed jewel theives pose as cops, swipe $50M in diamonds in ‘gigantic’ gems heist at Brussels airport:

Eight masked gunmen in two black cars cut a hole in the security fence at Brussels airport and nabbed $50 million in precious stones from the hold of a plane parked on the tarmac.

[John]

It is like Goodfellas. Total inside job. Someone told them that shipment had the diamonds.

[sarcasmic]

Check out the comments on the DM report of same story.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rport.html

Almost all in favor of robbers.

[AuH2O]

Why wouldn’t you be?

The only reason that diamonds are even worth 50M is because of the cartel that controls the diamond industry.

Its like oil getting robbed from OPEC. Guess what? If you create a cartel to artificially inflate the price of goods and steal from consumers, I ain’t weeping when you get robbed from back.

[sarcasmic]

I stick it to the cartel by not buying diamonds, not by celebrating when they get robbed.

[Ghetto Slovak Goatherder]

Goldwater. Haha, I get it.

No one is forcing the consumers to buy diamonds, hence it isn’t “theft.”

[Ice Nine]

The robbers were heavily armed and overwhelmed the transport security personnel. So if the transport security personnel on a $50million cargo aren’t prepared (armed) for this kind of caper, WTF exactly is their purpose?

[John]

Two things.

1. There isn’t a lot of security around these things. They rely on the fact that most cargo shipments don’t have anything of real value. That is why this had to be an inside job. Anyone can rob a cargo hold. But ninety nine times out of a hundred, it won’t net you anything of real value, unless of course you know what is in there in advance.

2. The guards are there for show. I guarantee you they are told not to get into a gun fight. Too much liability potential.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

That is why this had to be an inside job.

Most robberies are perpetrated by insiders. Most murders are committed by friends/relatives.

I have no statistics to back this up. Just observations.

[AuH2O]

Up All Night Will Not Die: Now being retooled to be a multi-cam about Maya Rudolph’s pregnancy?

Okay, so let me get this straight: in the 1970s, NBC is on the bottom of the big 3, and is not doing amazingly well. In 1975, Lorne Micheals launches SNL, and it becomes a major cultural hit, and could even be seen as the beginning of NBC being the smart comedy network, a reputation they later perfected with Cheers and Seinfeld. SNL is huge, but Lorne leaves in 1980 with the rest of the cast, leaving the executive producing of the show in the hands of Jean Doumanian and later Dick Ebersol. SNL struggled mightily, and the only thing that kept it afloat was finding a young kid named Eddie Murphy.

Micheal comes back in 1985, rights the ship, and has successfully managed the show since, although its relevancy has waxed and waned its sketch nature makes it perfect now for the Youtube era in terms at least of being talked about.

In the late 90s/early 2000s, a kid named Jimmy Fallon joined SNL, who was a decently talented performer and good enough for the hallowed Weekend Update Desk. The key thing here apparently is that he becomes super best friends with Lorne Micheals.

Cont…

[AuH2O]

A bit after Fallon has joined the cast, Micheals and Tine Fey launch 30 Rock. Although critically beloved (because apparently nothing is funnier than Tina Fey writing Alec Baldwin as the craziest most alpha-male Republican stereotype ever, but fuck you Parks and Community, Modern Family is on) it is not super commercially succesfully and never pairs well with NBC’s big hit, The Office. Hell, if anything, 30 Rock inspired all of the non-mockumentary style “whacky” single cams that have come since, like Community or Better Off Ted, and both NBC and ABC hated those shows.

Anyway, in 2008, NBC fucks up both its 10 PM slot and its late night with that Conan-Leno clusterfuck. Nothing I can say about that hasn’t been better said, so the big thing out of that when the dust settles Jimmy Fallon has taken over the late-late spot behind Leno from Conan. Still, the TV landscape has changed, and hes not getting the same ratings that, say, Letterman was getting after Carson.

I mean, seriously, who under 40 watches Leno, Letterman, or Kimmel, let alone Fallon or Killborn?

Cont…

[AuH2O]

But I digress. Cut to last year. With 30 Rock on its way out, Michales launches his own show, sans Fey, called Up All Night. In its first season the show can’t decide whether its about two parents raising their first kid (Applegate and Arnett stuff) or about a whacky Oprah-esque figure (Maya Rudolph, who they were playing up on the heels of Bridesmaids). It flops like a dead fish for that exact reason.

NBC renews that for a second season, AND picks up Fallon’s Guys with Kids, even expanding its order from its orginal 13 episodes. Apparently, this is due to Fallon’s friendship with Micheals, becasuse both the rating and the critics hate it.

Furthemore, Up All Night is flailing again, so instead of cutting bait and running, NBC decides to go from single cam (30 Rock, the Office) to a multi cam (Big Bang Theory, Friends), loses one of its stars (Applegate), is going to retool it AGAIN as not about parents but about Maya Rudolph…

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A LOGICAL BUSINESS MODEL, AND WHO DOES LORNE MICHEALS HAVE BLACKMAIL ON?

Ugh. I know, wall of text, but I had to write it out to see if there is any sequence of events that makes this sound logical.

[SugarFree]

One of the things I’ve always noticed that almost everything any SNL performer ever does after SNL has Lorne Micheals attached as an executive producer, even stuff there’s no way he has any actual involvement with, like Portlandia.

Maybe the real answer is that you sell your soul to Lorne Micheals and he owns you forever.

[Brett L]

So, following this theory, Eddie Murphy had to sell his soul to Disney, which is the only force on earth more evil than Lorne Michaels? I buy it.

[Quetzalcoatl]

If you sing for him, he can tell your future. It’s a valuable service.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I think part of getting your first “big break” and appearing on SNL is signing a long term contract with Brillstein/Grey. Then, Michaels automatically becomes executive producer for any work you do, and has distro rights through the Broadway Video label. Yep, you sell your soul. But the money is good.

[John]

It isn’t a business model. But you have to understand that no one knows what makes a show successful. Most of the really great long running shows like Cheers were flops when they first started or were generally okayed against the better judgement of the program directors.

Here you have a bunch of people whose responsibility it is to pick successful show ideas. But they have no clue how to do that because no one does. So they just pick stuff made by their friends or by people who have been successful before and hope for the best.

[robc]

no one knows what makes a show successful

I do.

Three elements:

1. Smart writing
2. Good acting
3. Patience (on the part of the network)

Yeah, yeah, reality shows dont fit any of that. Or do they?

[AlmightyJB]

There’s a little more to it than that. Likable characters would be another. I used to be pretty good at picking winners and losers but not anymore. It’s amazing to me what people will watch post Jerry Springer.

[BakedPenguin]

I disagree about likeable characters. Some really good comedies have total sociopaths as characters. Always Sunny comes to mind.

[robc]

If I were the producer of a sit-com, here would be my plan of action:

1. Back of dump truck full of money up to John Swartzwelder’s home.

2. Collect Emmys.

[John]

The problem is that there is a huge difference between the written page and something being performed. Something can sound good as an idea and writing can seem smart on the page and then be awful when it is performed. You never know until you made the show. The other problem is some shows start out horrible and then get better as they find a creative groove. There are all kinds of examples of this. Dallas, for example, started as a Romeo and Juliet story in Texas. Only after the first year did they realize the show was about JR.

[SugarFree]

Yeah, yeah, reality shows dont fit any of that. Or do they?

There is a 4th factor that trumps the others: Cheap production. Compared to a scripted show, reality costs next to nothing to air. And all they have to do is make their meager budget back in ad sales to break even, after that it’s all profit.

The only thing that keeps scripted TV on networks is that they have a long tail (re-runs, syndication, DVD sales) that reality does not.

[AuH2O]

The Writers Guilds biggest fuck up was not getting the reality writers (Yes, Rip Van Winkle, reality shows have writers) into their union. Because now they are just going to be fucked by production costs.

[Jerry on the boat]

But series production has become cheaper right, because it seems they’re all using green screens nowadays.

[AuH2O]

Counterpoint: The Big Bang Theory has only one of those (I may not like the character, but I’ll concede that Parsons plays the hell out of the role).

[Eduard van Haalen]

“3. Patience”

At first I read that as “flatulence.” Which some producers seem to think is part of the formula for a successful show.

[AuH2O]

Cheers actually does makes sense. It and Hill Street Blues both crashed on take off, but both were critcally beloved and NBC was so barren in 1982 (when both shows launched) that they just stuck with them on the idea that people would come to smart, well-made TV shows. In this, they were kind of wrong.

What ended up happening is that a smart, well-made, but insanely succesful show came along: The Cosby Show. NBC already had the “smart TV Thursday” infastruture in place, and the rising tide of the Cosby Show raised all ships (and those ships in turn launched others- Seinfeld orginally came on after Cheers)

Also, after its first season (which must have been super cheap to make, because every episode is a bottle episode. Seriously, go watch that first season again. They only use three sets: The main bar, the hallway, and the back room), Cheers also changed some creative people like showrunners and producers and such

[John]

Cosby didn’t come on until 85 or 86. And I think Cheers was finally making it by then.

[Libertymike]

AuH2O-

In 1975, NBC had Sanford & Son and the Mystery Movie series headlined by Columbo.

Of course, NBC also had the Reds / Red Sox in arguably the best World Series ever.

As for the ratings?

[Quetzalcoatl]

Yeah… Up All Night has had its moments, but they just need to cancel it so Will Arnett can do Arrested Development for the rest of his life.

But seriously: Better off Ted didn’t get half of the love it deserved. Hilarious show.

[SugarFree]

“As I recall, you were the only one who ran from the octo-chicken.”

[Ice Nine]

The really stunning thing about your story is that anyone here is really that into these suck-ass sitcoms.

[Quetzalcoatl]

What, libertarians are only allowed to like Star Trek and Frasier?

[Eduard van Haalen]

Don’t forget Firefly. The early episodes, before they sold out.

[Brett L]

Ah, you live in the alternative universe where there are late episodes. Cool!

[Eduard van Haalen]

You know, the first two episodes.

[Eduard van Haalen]

But the later episodes with the special guest appearances by OutKast and Neil Patrick Harris were cool, too.

[Brett L]

Cancelling Better Off Ted was a tragedy.

[Quetzalcoatl]

So sad. Why can’t Netflix buy that one too?

[NeonCat]

No one watches Craig Killborn because he isn’t on the air anymore. Craig Ferguson hosts the show following David Letterman.

[Zeb]

I like Craig Ferguson a lot. His opening bit is a million times better than any other because he just gets up there and talks about whatever he feels like.

[robc]

There is a reason I continue to bank with BB&T.

[John]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ormidable/

Jennifer Rubin provides further proof that being a beltway writer makes you stupid. It is a obstensively a column praising Rand Paul as a formidable candidate. But it quickly turns into a list of back handed compliments saying how Paul is formidable because he is good at lying. In the process it contains these non sequiters.

1. Agruing for a “less aggressive foreign policy” is implying our current wars are “aggressive”. No Jennifer, you can be aggressive in your own defense and thus be “less aggressive” in that you are less willing to go to war in your own interests.

2. Inflation is not a problem, only if you don’t count, food, gas and other things people actually buy.

[SIV]

2. Inflation is not a problem, only if you don’t count, food, gas and other things people actually buy.

Remember when reason joined the rest of the media in calling Sarah Palin stupid for saying food prices had risen?

[John]

Funny how so many things she says turn out later to be true.

[Rich]

Another Business Visited by Obama Closes

Apparently Star Restaurant and Ultra Lounge wasn’t using solar panels.

[John]

Ray’s Hell Burger closed last week. I always thought it was totally overrated hipster fare. Basically, it was a dirtier higher priced Five Guys.

[AlmightyJB]

More overpriced than 5 Guys? Wow. That’s a feat.

[John]

Yup. Five Guys is a chain now. They have it in unfashionable places. So hipsters in Arlington needed a new, higher priced burger place to feel smug about frequenting.

[NoVAHockey]

5 guys quality plummeted when they franchised. it’s not even close to what it used to be.

[robc]

I know a guy (from another forum) who started a franchised restaurant chain. Its hard. They had severe quality issues and crashed and burned. He managed to not go entirely under but was down to 1 or 2 corporate owned stores.

He is back up to 31 apparently, according to his website, which is larger than he was the first time around.

[Counterfly Guard]

You know the guy that started Moe’s?

[robc]

Heh. No Moe’s just plain sucks.

[Auric Demonocles]

I would sell a kidney for that queso.

[Brett L]

Just get you some queso blanco, milk and a can of Rotel. Heat gently, stir often, add milk until consistency is correct. Eat.

[Auric Demonocles]

That sounds like more work than “Pay guy. Get queso.”

[Brett L]

Under the terms Texans are allowed to emigrate, I’m required to recognize Moe’s right to call their cheese product “queso”, but I can’t help but be underwhelmed. You must live in a food desert to love Moe’s queso.

[Brett L]

Under the terms by which Texans

[Proprietist]

Getting a kidney extracted would certainly be more work than making your own queso.

[Wind Rider]

Yeah, but who cuts out their own kidney?

[Brett L]

5 guys quality plummeted

While I am sad for those of you in the Coruscant sector, out here in the sticks, Whataburger is the only thing that can give it a run for its money. When I want real fries and not to have to spend five minutes ordering to get my burger without a salad on it, I go to 5 Guys and enjoy it. Of course, Tallahassee now has an overpriced hipster burger joint that, at least three months after they opened, still couldn’t hit medium well 3 times out of 10. Even though that was supposedly the only temperature they would cook to.

[AuH2O]

Agreed. 5 Guys franchising has been fucking awesome. Now, its easy to find a really good and reasonably priced burger that can be made quickly pretty much anywhere.

Don’t knock that ability, ever.

[T]

We have a similar chain called Mooyah here that I prefer, because I can get blue cheese on my burger and it’s right by my house.

[Auric Demonocles]

There’s something to be said for biting into a nice big greasy burger ready about 15 minutes after I leave the office.

[John]

Yes NOVA, we know you listened to that band back when they were good and before they popular.

[NoVAHockey]

ha .. i have to laugh at myself at that. but really, do you think they’re as good?

[John]

I wasn’t living here when they first opened. SO I only know the later five guys. I don’t know. I have always thought they were good but not incredible.

[sarcasmic]

Obama goes golfing with Tiger Woods.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..k-out.html

[Eduard van Haalen]

Is that some kind of euphemism?

[The Late P Brooks]

Appearing on a Chicago Sunday morning talk show, superintendent Garry McCarthy expressed his conviction that firearm owners who lobby their elected representatives or who donate money to political campaigns are engaged in corruption that endangers public safety.

Nice. But the National Association of Police Chiefs should be free to lobby Congress and the state legislatures on “public safety” issues.
Because… well, you know.

[John]

When the wrong people engage in the political process and exercise their first amendment rights, that is corruption. It is called Newsspeak Brooks. Learn to speak it. It is the language of our time.

[sarcasmic]

Dude arrested after posting pictures on Facebook of him hugging a manatee.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ebook.html

[Rich]

Good thing dude didn’t point his finger like a gun at a manatee.

[Counterfly Guard]

I totally thought you were going somewhere different with finger and manatee in the same sentence.

[mr lizard]

Seriously don’t mess with the manatees down here. Charlie Crist will take your birthday away.

[sarcasmic]

Welfare for scientists.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..lease.html

[Rich]

Meh. We’re doomed anyway.

[sarcasmic]

“Dar!” Pirate cave found in Califoria!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-cash.html

[LTC(ret) John]

“The property has a history of criminal activity, as Floyd’s deceased father was involved in drug and theft charges over a decade ago.”

Yar! He simply be continuing the family enterprise, matey.

[LTC(ret) John]

“The property has a history of criminal activity, as Floyd’s deceased father was involved in drug and theft charges over a decade ago.”

Yar! He simply be continuing the family enterprise, matey.

[AuH2O]

Paging Doctor SugarFree, Doctor SugarFree please pick up the white courtesy telephone: Jezebel is hiring editorial fellows

I am so fucking tempted to make a fake resume and try to join them, just to subtly troll them the entire fucking time.

[LTC(ret) John]

Please do, and share the results! Make sure you have the right Gender & Queer Studies degree and school on the ol’ resume.

[AuH2O]

Oh, I can bullshit such a better story. Like how I was never able to get a college degree because despite my great grades, I couldn’t because my struggling inner city parents needed me to get a minimum wage job to help the family. I had to help them, of course- it wasn’t easy for them to raise a disable queer WOC such as myself, and they weren’t always perfect about it (our relationship is complex, and must be explored in many blog posts)

[Quetzalcoatl]

I’m offended that they call them “fellows”.

[SugarFree]

I’d have to shave off the beard to pass as an enormously fat and balding woman.

[John]

Sure them for sex discrimination after they don’t hire you.

[AuH2O]

John, buddy, you have GOT to turn off that autocorrect, in spite of the amusement it has brought me over the year.

[SugarFree]

Well, they do have two token males: Doug Barry who seems to hint at being gay and Uncle Toms has hard as he can, and Hugo Shwyzer, semi-impotent junkie attempted murderer that’s attracted to lesbians and who’s main qualifications is teaching a freshmen gender studies course at prestigious Pasadena Upstairs Community College and Polyclownical Institute.

[T]

I’m stealing Polyclownical Institute for future use, SF.

[SugarFree]

I am powerless before your male gaze.

[Thane of Whiterun]

Holy shit, you were serious:

Underneath the post, Feministe commenters drew attention to an even more astonishing admission — in a year-old post on Schwyzer’s own site — that in 1998, while intoxicated, he had attempted to kill himself and an ex-girlfriend.

I figured he’d “alienated his supporters” by saying he was into BDSM or something.

[John]

Wow. He tried to murder his girlfriend and ended up a token male on Jezebelle. The irony burns.

[Brett L]

It was the failed suicide that told me all I needed to know about this guy.

[SugarFree]

Holy shit, you were serious

When have you ever known me to joke around?

[sarcasmic]

3D t shirts.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-real.html

[mr lizard]

Well I already have a 3D pair of angry birds boxers….

[Invisible Finger]

A new thing for police to shoot at.

[AuH2O]

Lakers Fans: I would like to welcome you to the club. Please, enjoy joining the Mets fans with the Wilpons, the Knicks with Dolan, the Seattle fans with Bennet, the Yankees fans with Hank, the Kings fans with the Maloofs, the Dodgers fans with the McCourts, Browns fans with Moddell, Colts fans with Robert Irsay, and Cavs fans with Ted Stepien with YOUR new owner, Jim Buss.

Enjoy that your owner decided to give it to his idiot son instead of his competent daughter Jeannie. Don’t worry- we have plenty of alcoholic mixes to help you get through the next few years.

[John]

Yup. Go talk to Celtics fans about what it was like after Red Auerbach got to old to run the team anymore. It was a complete lost decade and a half of horrible basketball. I have a feeling the same is in store for the Lakers.

[Mike M.]

I suspect that having to suffer through watching Dwight Coward night in and night out is probably what finished the old man.

[John]

That or watching his idiot son hire Mike D’Antony just so he could show his sister he knew better.

I would imagine news of the Dwight trade and the D’Antony hired playing out similiar to the scene in the Godfather where Sonny and Robert Duvall explain to the old man in his hospital bed that they had Mike shoot Solatzo and the police captain. The old man wept.

[AuH2O]

Well, it wasn’t just that he wanted to show his sister he knew better. He also apparently has a whole thing about his sister and Phil Jackson being together (which is weird. I have a sister, and I wouldn’t mind her dating someone at all, even if he was older and had previous wives and such. I may be annoyed that he hadn’t married my sister yet, but if she had no desire to get married to him, I’d be happy that she’s happy)

[John]

Maybe it is the creepy old guy factor. Jackson is a lot older than her. But who cares? He was the best coach of all time and he wanted to come back.

[Libertymike]

Better than Red?

[John]

Not better than Red. But certainly second behind him.

[AuH2O]

Count the rings, bitches.

[Ted S.]

I thought the Lakers had bandwagoners, not fans.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Jim Buss is a fucking moran.

[AuH2O]

Cool porn facts:

Where as those of us unfamiliar with the down and dirty world of pornography would probably describe your average female porn star as looking something like Traci Lords, the reality is apparently quite different. In the adult film industry, brunettes outnumber blondes 2-to-1 and the average actress’ bra size is a 34B.

As far as weight goes, porn stars of either sex tend to be on the slimmer side with the average male actor weighing in at 167.5 lbs and the average female weighing 117 lbs, with a measurement of 34?24-34. For height, both male and female performers measured up to the national average (5’10” for men and 5’5″ for women).

Now that we’re done with all of that physical nonsense, let’s get to the good stuff ? names and occupations (occupations being “teens,” MILFS, wives, nurses, etc.). The most common name for a female porn star was Nikki Lee and chances are that she’s very into butt stuff. 62% of female porn stars list themselves as game to do anal (87% are willing to get facials and only 53% are willing to do interracial scenes, which is weird and pretty racist).

[Ice Nine]

Weird? Stick a black police baton up your ass and get back to me on that.

[sarcasmic]

I worked with a waitress who confessed to me that for a while she had had a thing about black guys. She’s white. Anyway, she was dating this black dude and when it came time to do the deed she said “You want to put that thing where?“

[Brett L]

I’ll just leave this here. SFW

[Ice Nine]

Kareem’s looking better there than I’ve ever seen him.

[AuH2O]

Biggest problem in porn: Too small Labias!

It’s interesting (and mildly depressing) to see how the norms of pornography become pervasive in mainstream culture. As someone who doesn’t even regularly watch porn, I was surprised by my own reactions while clicking through the pages of the Large Labia Project. While I didn’t find any of the women unattractive, I was taken aback by the diversity of shapes and sizes that were depicted. Why would my expectations for what a vulva looks like be formed by an industry that I don’t consciously take a part of?

While Emma mentioned that porn is often the first opportunity that young girls get to see other women’s labias, it’s also ? obviously ? the first exposure that the vast majority of young men have to the female anatomy as well. If all they see up until the point where they have a real-life vagina in front of them is hairless Barbie labias, then anything other than a hairless Barbie labias is going to seem strange or wrong to them. And this is why, heartbreakingly, we have 13 and 14-year-old girls shaving off their pubic hair, getting waxed and freaking out about what their vaginas look like before they even have a chance to realize that owning a vagina, no matter what it looks like, can be a lot of fun.

Cont…

[AuH2O]

Emphasis added. Because they seriously believe that an improper looking labia is going to stop a teenage boy from sticking his dick in a gal.

Also, I post this because while Jezebel has time to navel gaze over porn labias, no word yet on what they think of Iceland feminist-inspired internet porn ban…

HMMM… I FUCKING WONDER WHY?!

[Brett L]

Because they seriously believe that an improper looking labia is going to stop a teenage boy from sticking his dick in a gal.

They’ve been beards for gay men since they were 13. That’s why.

[robc]

Barbie was released in 1959. Brazilian waxing didnt take off in the US until the 1990s.

Im failing to see any correlation.

Boys didnt think Barbie was exposure to female anatomy. It was clearly obvious that the female anatomy was missing.

[Ted S.]

Would boys that age even know what a “proper” labia looks like?

[T]

Cough*voyeurweb*cough.

[Loki]

Because they seriously believe that an improper looking labia is going to stop a teenage boy from sticking his dick in a gal.

The average Jezzie probably looks like she’s smuggling Chewbacca in her underwear, so I wouldn’t want to put my dick in there. Who knows what’s crawling around in there. *shudders*

I’m not saying that a girl has to be hairless, but a little grooming isn’t asking too much, IMO. Also, I’m not a teenager anymore, so it’s possible that as a teen I wouldn’t have been so picky.

[mad libertarian guy]

I’m not saying that a girl has to be hairless, but a little grooming isn’t asking too much, IMO.

If I’m put in a position where I’m going to get hairs in my mouth, it a no-go. Trim it, or Your friend Connie isn’t coming for a visit.

[SugarFree]

I’ve never seen a vulva that is 1% as ugly as the minds of the average Jezebel feminists.

[T]

*golf clap*

Well said. The entire Jezzie crowd is all about personality as prophylactic.

[NeonCat]

You should read about 19th century Englishman John Ruskin. Since he had no father or uncle to take him to a brothel all he knew about female anatomy was what he saw on classical sculpture. On his wedding night he totally freaked out when he saw his wife’s pubic hair. Since women didn’t shave he ended up attracted only to pubescent girls.

[lap83]

The real problem with that article is the idea that it’s perfectly fine for 13 year olds to be having sex, they just shouldn’t shave themselves before they do it. Yeah, acquiring a bunch of STDs, kids, and/or abortions before you even get to the age of 20 is fine. You just don’t want to be pressured to have your pubic hair a certain way.

[Zeb]

“acquiring a bunch of STDs, kids, and/or abortions”

You know, there are ways to avoid these things.

I think that lots of 13 year olds who have sex do it for bad reasons, but I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing.

[Invisible Finger]

Cont..

Typo?

[Loki]

Adam Lanza may have been motivated to commit the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School by a desire to outdo Anders Breivik

And since Breivik was a fringe right wing nutcase, clearly Adam Lanza was an unhinged far right Tea Perty loon. /progresso-tard

Any bets on this becoming the new narrative when reporting about Sandy Hook? The media’s been dieing for a right wing extremist to go on a violent rampage ever since the first tea party protest, so I’m sure this will be spun into that narrative, whether there’s any truth or even the slightest shred of evidence that Lanza shared Breivik’s ideology, by the end of the week he’ll be the quintessential far right nutjob bitter clinger.

Either that or his mom will be the bitter clinger who indoctinated him with right wing nuttery. That way they can even turn the shooter into a sympathetic figure.

[John]

I heard this story several weeks ago at an LEO conference. The spin there was against the evil video game Halo, which he apparently played nonstop.

[Don Mynack]

I gave my son (8 years old) some shoot-em up game for the x-box. yes, it’s violent, but about as realistic as a 50’s tv western, i.e. people go down with one shot, and don’t bleed. I was laughing while playing it.

It’s nowhere near as good as Forza Motorsport 3, which we are no both hooked on.

[AuH2O]

Men, you best take a moment and check your “unkempt” privilege

It is well known to the point of why am I even saying this that men are under less pressure than women are to be beautiful. What is not so often mentioned is the extent to which men are rewarded for not looking beautiful. Not simply for abstaining from whichever metrosexual grooming endeavors or definitive challenging of gender norms (i.e. makeup),but actually looking a big ol’ mess.

Which brings us to a phenomenon… that I refer to as “too brilliant to bathe.” This is when a man?who may or may not be genetically endowed with square-jawed good looks, but it helps if he’s not?is able to attract accolades and acolytes by being thoroughly unpresentable. One sees this in the more intellectual professions, and among students, but not so much among finance-types.It involves greasy hair, perhaps green teeth. No physical exertion.A man will own just the one shirt, it will be some mix of tucked and untucked.If a button-down, buttons will be missing, or simply missed, askew. There will be ill-fitting pleated khakis. They will be stained.

Cont…

[AuH2O]

Seriously, they need to raise the character limit to 2000.

Oh, and his manners won’t be so hot, either. Nor will he be any good at staying organized, but who cares? A woman?various women?will deal with the practical. Mom or a secretary will keep his papers organized, while female admirers or, if he’s older, Mrs. T-B-T-B will grease the wheels in social situations, and cook and clean, and remind him once a year that it’s time for his bath.

Thus, in exchange for looking his worst, a man will, under certain circumstances, be taken more seriously. It will be assumed that the time and effort he didn’t put into his appearance went to something more noble. Not video games, but Being and Nothingness. (Thus the importance of worn-out slacks, not sweatpants. A subtle distinction.) Maybe he was off finding the route to Mideast peace via comments to Facebook status updates, which didn’t leave him time to address a body-odor situation. Or maybe solving an as-yet-unsolved math problem got in the way of removing the remnants of yesterday’s lunch still crusted onto his blazer. Something really amazing is going on in his mind, and we know this not because of anything he’s produced, but because he looks the part.

God, it must suck to be this fucking bitter about everything, huh?

[Brett L]

Did you have the Stevie Ray Vaughan this morning instead of your usual coffee?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Seriously. Dial it back, Goldie. Big walls of text.

[Loki]

This dumb cunt needs to make an appointment with reality, quick. I work in the aerospace industry as an engineer and I’m pretty sure if I regularly showed up to the office looking like how she describes, I’d be fired. What a dipshit.

[Zeb]

Yeah, that is dumb. It is true to some extent that women have to deal with more expectations about their looks, but it is not the case that men get away with being slobby. Or that the women in their lives are all that keeps them from living in a cardboard box.

[Corneliusm]

Jezzies and the like frequent hipster clubs and cafes. It’s no secret that their exposure to men have been to skinny neck beards who don’t shower daily. If not for their expensive cars and toys (iPads, etc), I would mistake them for the homeless.

In my 10 years as a software engineer, I have only met one guy with poor hygiene, and that was when I was interviewing him. We didn’t hire him.

Anyway, it’s the same mentality that some pathetic women who lament about the lack of decent men when they only spend time at clubs and hooking up with the same trash over and over. Selection bias.

[The Late P Brooks]

The property has a history of criminal activity

Carmen Ortiz has her ears up.

[John]

http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..01429.html

AF1 wheels down Andrews at 7:45pm. POTUS came back to have a 10-minute off the record talk with pool at the end of the flight.

Reggie Love departed AF1 soon after POTUS, apparently a guest for the weekend.

So is Love who Obama is on the lowdown with? He left his wife and kids to spend the weekend with him and Tiger.

[BakedPenguin]

“Reginald L. Love served as the special assistant and personal aide, commonly referred to as body man for taking care of the president’s needs, to United States President Barack Obama”

NTTAWWT.

[BakedPenguin]

Also, “Reggie Love” sounds like an Eddie Murphy character.

[Death Rock and Skull]

“Adam Lanza may have been motivated to commit the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School by a desire to outdo Anders Breivik”

I recall reading just last night that this is unsubstantiated horseshit “reported” by CBS and not law enforcement.

[John]

I was at an LEO conference not long ago and the sheriffs from Connecticut gave a presentation on Newtown. And they said exactly that.

[SugarFree]

I will be glad when America can rise up, a say with a clear proud voice, that which the citizens of Kentucky have known for so long:

DUKE SUCKS!

Duke University Will Train Feminist Bloggers

Duke University’s Women’s Center is launching a new media activism program called Write(H)ers that will help “create a community of feminist-oriented writers,” according to the Duke Chronicle: program members will participate in personal blogging and workshops with professional journalists (including Jill Filipovic, Heather Havrilesky, Rebecca Traister, and former Jezebel writer Irin Carmon)

How brave! What important work!

[John]

So you telling me that women are so stupid they can’t write a blog without training? What kind of a sexist monster are you?

[Brett L]

Wow. The Duke Womyn’s Studies program is going to do everything they can to ensure they never lose another fight about falsely accusing white male athletes of rape again.

[AuH2O]

Well, they’d need to be Women’s Studies/Forensics double majors.

[Brett L]

How dare you other womyn by suggesting they do science! Everyone knows that science is the tool of the patriarchy! In the feminist utopia men are guilty whenever their womyn superiors feel a man has done something wrong.

[NeonCat]

In the feminist utopia, men are guilty.

FTFY

[WTF]

Because there are currently no feminist blogs. derp

[AuH2O]

I was going to put that up, but I said to myself, “No. This one- this one is SugarFree’s.”

Your welcome, old friend.

[SugarFree]

Thank you. I almost didn’t get the chance because of work. Stupid work. How dare they employ me all these years.

[mad libertarian guy]

King Library Administrator: “Those pictures won’t archive themselves, insulin boy!”

[The Late P Brooks]

the sheriffs from Connecticut gave a presentation on Newtown.

Were they baffled by the apparent uselessness of their gun control laws?

[John]

Sheriffs, since they are elected, are generally a bit different cat from police chiefs. They tend to be much less in favor of gun control and generally more reasonable.

[sarcasmic]

Underwear models model underwear.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..video.html

[Brett L]

They need to eat a fucking cheeseburger. They’ve got to arch their backs like 30 degrees to make it look like they have asses.

[sarcasmic]

That pose never did anything for me.

[John]

Me either.

[SugarFree]

Pfft. There are plenty of larger girls out there to please you. Thin girls are rare and therefore prized. Fattening up a thin girl is like demanding an alchemist transmute gold into lead.

[John]

There is such a thing as too thin. Even gold doesn’t come out of the ground pure.

[SugarFree]

And none of these girls even come within sight of “too thin.” Maybe too thin for you and Brett L to consider attractive, but none of them require medical attention. There all malls all over America stuffed to the rafters with girls bigger than the average model. Have at them.

[John]

I don’t think they are unattractive. But they would look better with about five pounds added on.

And there are plenty of super thin women out there. I know lots of them. Not every woman who has the genes to be 5’8″ and 100 lbs with no chest becomes a model.

[Brett L]

Eh. What can I say? My gf has an ass and visible abs, without arching her back. I’m spoiled I suppose. I’m punching way out of my weight class right now. Eventually its going to hurt really bad, but right now, its the early rounds and I’m excited.

[Warty]

So stop being fat, you fat fucking fatty fuck. It’ll make your dick look bigger and then maybe you can keep her, fatty.

[Brett L]

Actually, I’m about to try a half GOMAD because I’m down 3lbs in 2 weeks since quitting any distance training and only hitting the gym and doing one HIIT running workout. My body is fucking weird.

[Warty]

Squat, you fool. Women like ’em thick and hairy.

[Brett L]

I am! 3x week 3×5 working sets with 3 1×5 warmup sets right out of Rippetoe. That’s why I am concerned that my already skinny ass is getting smaller, not bigger.

[Warty]

Oh. Well, in that case, Dianabol and Entemann’s are what you need.

[Brett L]

I’m gonna give it another month and just eat more. See what happens.

[Warty]

Sheet Of Cake A Day (SOCAD)

[Brett L]

Ugh. You know that’s how Sugarfree got his powers, right?

[The Late P Brooks]

Apparently, the Campaigner-in-Chief will be using “first responders” as props for some sort of event in which he will blame Republicans for the destruction of civilization.

It would be awful if we had fewer cops conducting random illegal searches.

[John]

Maybe they can stop and frisk a few random black men while they are there.

[The Late P Brooks]

a new media activism program called Write(H)ers

Beezlebub is laughing so loudly I cannot hear my television.

[Sevo]

We all knew this, but it’s about the CHILDRUNZ:
“Women focus on children in gun debate”
“To many women, say analysts and pollsters, the gun debate now roiling the country is less about preserving gun rights and more about preserving safety in their neighborhoods.”

This guy figures females just aren’t real bright, I guess.
http://www.sfgate.com/politics…..288816.php

[Auric Demonocles]

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has returned to Venezuela after undergoing cancer treatment in Cuba.

I bet Feeney was in Cuba too, and that’s why he is such a commie he won’t give us alt-text in the AM links.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Docs in UK call for SODA TAX

[Archduke Pantsfan]

The Crocodile cart

[Warty]

Shakespeare in original pronunciation, now with whore jokes that work.

[jesse.in.mb]

Thanks Warty! That Ben Crystal fellow doing his gravelly OP voice had me a quiver.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

why did it tell me to watch this pantywaist?

[kwais]

Paul Krugman supports a minimum wage raise|
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02…..times&_r=0

[jesse.in.mb]

If anyone is shoving something down someone’s throat it’s Cinemax