Friday Funnies: Our New Armed Forces

Chip Bok | 2.8.2013 7:35 AM

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Jeff 13 years ago

It's a disgrace that they let ETs serve in the Army now.
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Either that's a deleted scene from the upcoming remake of Starship Troopers or Bok has gone full edge. Women in combat? Check. Gays in the military? Check. Interracial marriage? Check.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  none of them appear to be differently-abled. Unless the sunglasses mean they're blind
  1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
    
    Dodgy mustache? Check. Woman not allowd to take point? Check. Soldier pointing his weapon at his husband? Check. Assault weapons? Check.
    1. Almanian. 13 years ago
      
      Check please!
      1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
        
        Misogynistic view of a woman's vanity? Check. Mad Max style barren wasteland? Check. Allusions to Nazi Germany? Check.
        
        Almanian! 13 years ago
        
        You know who else made allusions to Nazi Germany...
        
        Rick Santorum 13 years ago
        
        Hitler.
        
        Almanian! 13 years ago
        
        Really? REALLY?
        
        LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
        
        Godwin?
        
        Almanian! 13 years ago
        
        THANK you John! SOME people get it...
        
        Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago
        
        Tony Bennett?
    2. 21044 13 years ago
      
      Assault Magazine? Check
      1. LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
        
        Assault clip?
        
        *ducks and runs out of room*
        
        Bobarian 13 years ago
        
        10 round (7 in New York) assault clip, amirite
  2. $park? 13 years ago
    
    none of them appear to be differently-abled
    
    Are you kidding? At least the woman and the black dude have no hands.
    
    And you just know why only the white dude is wearing knee pads.
    1. Clich? Bandit 13 years ago
      
      One has aspergers
Certified Public Asskicker 13 years ago

Gay and interracial? Too soon Bok, too soon.
1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
  
  Too late, CPA.
Ted S. 13 years ago

NEEDS MOAR LABELZ
Almanian. 13 years ago

I gotta give it up to Bok - he's no Henry Payne.

Happy Friday, Reasonoids.

PS No, fuck you, cut spending!
1. PS 13 years ago
  
  Jeez, what did I do?
  1. LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
    
    You scripted, post.
2. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  Also, fried chicken.
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

there's a little box on the right of the screen that says this is trending on Facebook:

Work of Nut Job With No Connection to Reality - Hit & Run : Reason

That's an unnecessarily harsh assessment of the H&R commentariat
1. $park? 13 years ago
  
  That's an unnecessarily harsh surprisingly accurate assessment of the H&R commentariat
  1. Longtorso 13 years ago
    
    Wouldn't that refer to the articles?
    1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
      
      thanks for stepping on my joke
2. Longtorso 13 years ago
  
  "Work of Nut Job With No Connection to Reality" will be the name of my newsletter, which will combine the anon-bot's musings, Warty/Epi slashfic, and pics from Bok's best work - a colonoscopy he had done in '06 when he was shitting blood.
  
  I'm accepting subscriptions.
  1. Almanian! 13 years ago
    
    I am interested in your newsletter, and would, in fact, like to subscribe to it.
General Butt Naked 13 years ago

What the fuck are those fucking things?

Fucking Jesus, man, either Bok's lost his goddamn mind or he's hip to something out there that we'll never understand. Shine on you crazy diamond.
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  +1 Collection of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
sarcasmic 13 years ago

I snickered.
Almanian! 13 years ago

OT: I decided to make my handle a little more emphatic. Hence, the "!".

Hope you all like it!

!!
1. Almanian! 13 years ago
  
  PS WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY MOURNING LYNX???!
  1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
    
    They read this cartoon and, already being in a state of depression, killed themselves.
  2. PS 13 years ago
    
    Again, not my fault.
    1. Almanian! 13 years ago
      
      You are making me laugh this morning.
      
      I dub thee, "MOURNING LYNX GUY". You are an EXCELLENT substitute! Thank you.
2. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  Emphatic? I saw it more as vibrant and sassy. Kinda like Oliver! but better fed
  1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
    
    I GIVE ALMANIAN!'S NEW LOOK TWO SNAPS UP!
    
    *snaps*
    1. Almanian! 13 years ago
      
      Thanks! I'm on RuPaul's Dragway next week!
sarcasmic 13 years ago

How's the weather out there?
1. Almanian! 13 years ago
  
  Widely scattered dark turning to widely scattered light during the day, with a chance of wind.
  
  Not so bad here in the Metro Detroit area. It will be worse going home.
  
  BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY WIFE!
  1. Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago
    
    Almanian! is in rare form. Must have gotten laid last night.
SugarFree 13 years ago

This is what happens when you change the sacred definition of a word that hasn't always meant anything like what I what it to not be changed from!
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  Brilliant, Sug.
Longtorso 13 years ago

Why is the guy in the middle about to shoot his husband in the ass?
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  Bok's making a dirty joke. Just ignore him.
sarcasmic 13 years ago

Why is the chick left handed?
1. SugarFree 13 years ago
  
  She's disabled.
  1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
    
    She's obviously retarded; wearing a turtle-neck sweater and toboggan in the desert an' all.
    
    Dames, I tells ya.
    1. SugarFree 13 years ago
      
      Flak burka.
      1. Proprietist 13 years ago
        
        Flak Burkas would be an awesome band name.
PS 13 years ago

This was actually pretty good. Admit it you cynical cunts.
1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
  
  This was actually pretty good.
  
  No it wasn't.
  1. PS 13 years ago
    
    Who hurt you, General?
    1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
      
      Well, Bok has murder-droned about 6 years worth of my Friday mornings.
      
      So there's that.
      
      And also, this "funny" is dog shit.
      
      *scribbles* Gays.
      
      Deconstructed.
      1. PS 13 years ago
        
        Duh, if you were a real general you'd know that drones--by definition--can't murder.
2. Almanian! 13 years ago
  
  No. You can't make me.
Tonio 13 years ago

And I assume that married couples are not allowed to serve in the same unit for two very obvious reasons: avoiding conflict of interest, and risk of wiping out the entire family (like the Sullivan brothers in WWII).
1. LTC(ret) John 13 years ago
  
  Depends on your definition of "unit" - there was a married couple together at Bagram AF, in CJTF 180 with me (the husband's name was "Thor" - true story). Of course, CJTF 180 was almost everyone in AF.
  1. SugarFree 13 years ago
    
    I tried to get Groovus to change his handle to Thor Cockhammer when registration came, but he thought it would lead to all the women hounding him for his "autograph."
    1. Tonio 13 years ago
      
      Ahem!
      1. SugarFree 13 years ago
        
        Since there are no women libertarians, it's pretty obvious that I was just making a joke.
        
        Thor Cockhammer 13 years ago
        
        Your wish is my command, Jokey Smurf!-D
    2. Loki 13 years ago
      
      How did you find out my real name?
  2. Tonio 13 years ago
    
    Well, obviously not a problem at the division level or above, but I've never served so don't know where the actual cutoff is. That's why I was deliberately vague. Also referencing a specific type of Army/Marine unit would have scotched the Sullivan Bros reference.
    1. Virginian 13 years ago
      
      Splitting up the Niland brothers following the death of the Sullivan brothers didn't work out too well.
2. Agammamon 13 years ago
  
  They can - they can't be in the same chain of command (a line drawn on the org chart between you and the CO can't include your spouse, or vice versa) and there are limits as to how closely you work together (in the navy at the minimum they couldn't be in the same workcenter).
  1. Agammamon 13 years ago
    
    The navy doesn't take any particular precautions to prevent family members fromserving together and you can potentially even arrange for you and a sibling to be assigned to your first unit together (if you enlist at the same time).
DJF 13 years ago

Doesn't he know that women walk in front in combat zones, how else do you find land mines.
1. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  My understanding is that some tribesmen actually do have their women go first when traversing a known minefield.
  1. Virginian 13 years ago
    
    Supposedly that became the custom in Kuwait when the Iraqis invaded. I think it's apocryphal though.
VG Zaytsev 13 years ago

I laughed.
1. Almanian! 13 years ago
  
  PWND!
2. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
  
  In the past, I too, have laughed.
  1. Bobarian 13 years ago
    
    I used to laugh, but then came the Friday Funnies...
    
    Now I weep.
MJGreen 13 years ago

Whew, that nearly flew over my head. It would help if the two guys were labeled in bold letters "GAY", and maybe the woman with "BIMBO" or something like that. And maybe identify one of the guns as an assault rifle, to skewer a whole other controversy.

That's how you write a cartoon, my friends.
1. Loki 13 years ago
  
  So what you're saying is "NEEDS MOAR LABELZ!"
2. Agammamon 13 years ago
  
  Instead of "bimbo" she could be labelled "LT".
a better weapon 13 years ago

Chip has just highlighted another unintended consequence of females in combat roles; male troops having to deal with incessant compliment-fishing by their female counterparts.
1. Bobarian 13 years ago
  
  Possible grounds for intentional fratricide?
  
  Or would it be co-edicide? Soroiticide?
Proprietist 13 years ago

I always assumed Bok was a Korean name. For years I've been picturing some middle aged Asian dude behind the easel. Guess not...

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