A.M. Links: Obama May Implement Environmental Agenda By Executive Order, UK To Vote on EU Membership, Private Navy Will Battle Pirates


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  1. Transparency groups … Not so impressed by this administration.

    It was very difficult to vote so enthusiastically for him last time.

    1. He’ll finally nail it with his 3rd term.

      1. I believe you mean Bush’s 5th term, because right now we’re in BT4.

    1. Imagine how cold it’s supposed to be right now!

      1. Exactly! If it wasn’t for Global Warmening, it would be EVEN COLDER!!!11!

  2. Why Doctors Should Not Ask Their Patients About Guns

    Should doctors ask patients if they own guns? Currently, ObamaCare bans the federal government from using patient medical records to compile a list of gun owners. But following the Newtown, CT shootings, President Obama issued an executive order clarifying that “the Affordable Care Act [ObamaCare] does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes.” The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) similarly encourages physicians to ask patients if they own firearms ? in the name of protecting child safety. As a physician, I consider this advice misguided. Instead, physicians should not routinely ask patients whether they own guns, because it could compromise the integrity of the doctor-patient relationship.

    1. How about a Federal Law requiring every, um, health care provider to post a sign in its office detailing the guns it owns, if any?

    2. So, an executive order overrides the actual law? It must be nice to be the king!

    3. If any vendor of services, medical or otherwise asks me whether I own firearms, I will tell them to mind their own fucking business.


      1. And I will tell them that I will be transferring my business and my records to another provider.

        You can be my doctor, or you can be an agent of the Total State, but you can’t be both.

        1. What if you are Dr. Mengele?

          BTW RC, I just ordered a Kimber Tactical Custom II. Now I just have to complete the idiotic NY licensing process.

          1. Niice. They’re supposed to make a first-rate piece of machinery. A manly caliber, too.

          2. I just ordered a Kimber Tactical Custom II.

            Do some research and replace every piece of MiM in that gun. Then it will be a fine pistol.

      2. Better yet, answer the question with a question. ‘You look pretty well off. Do you have guns in your house, doctor? What about jewelry?’

    4. That question is on patient paperwork here now. My Dad brings a black marker to appts and just redacts the question.

      1. Good. I will never ask, that’s for sure.

        Shall not be infringed…”

    5. You know the first time a doctor asks me whether I own any guns will be the last time I see him/her.

      I will probably also go off on them before leaving their office, probably starting off with asking them about their child porn collection or something like that.

      And I don’t even own a gun.

      1. Ask them how long they have been cheating on their spouse and banging hookers. Loudly.

        This scenario is much more likely, if a few of my colleagues are any barometre.

        1. Doc, even we spell it “barometer”

          1. Ha! My troll on you worked!

      2. You know the first time a doctor asks me whether I own any guns will be the last time I see him/her.


        That said, I love in a farming community in central KY. The safe bet is to automatically assume everyone has at least one type of gun or another.

  3. …which will offer a private navy manned by ex-Royal Marines to escort commercial vessels.

    Privatize the fight against Somali pirates? How ironic somehow.

    1. First one to act less like a government wins.

    2. Couple of problems with this

      1. Many countries don’t allow civilians to bring weapons into their countries so where are they going to be based out of.

      2. What are they going to do with prisoners? Can’t just kill them all or leave them to die in shot up boats, it looks bad in the newspapers.

      3. What about liability? In today’s world it likely they will get sued out of existence the first time they make a mistake or can be accused of making a mistake especially since they have no national or international laws to reduce their liability.

      1. Killing pirates looks bad in the newspapers?

        1. Generally killing them all gets a negative story in the newspapers especially when its a private company and they are black.

          1. Do you have some examples? Those would make for some interesting reading.

        2. It does when the pirates are 16 year old kids who some journalist looking for a Pulitzer characterizes as innocent fishermen gunned down in cold blood.

      2. I assumed they were just going to gibbet the pirates below the high tide line like the old days.

        1. Gibbeting is a sadly underutilized procedure.

      3. 1. I suspect Eritrea, Djibouti and Ethiopia all would be quite happy letting these folks clean up pirates,

        2. Turn them over to “Somali authorities” and let them shoot them (or hand them over to the nearest country),

        3. I doubt you are going to get many suits out of Somali pirates. What “mistakes” are you going to make around the Horn? “Hey, we just happened to be a boat full of dudes with AKs, RPGs and a DSHKA, motoring right at at merchant ship – but we are just a leisure craft, honest!”

        1. sounds like a party to me.

        2. “Around the Horn is the easiest way, the better way, and that is how we will go. Anything more?”

      4. I wonder how the pirates get their intell. I mean do they just raid all vessels or do they hit specific ships known to be carrying high prices goods?

        1. They seem to mostly go after ransom, at least in the cases I heard about.

          1. I’m surprised that the insurance companies that insure the ships, the crew, and the cargo haven’t done this already. Of course, it’s convenient to outsource security to the US Navy.

            1. The Navy probably would prefer not having to deal with pitched sea battles between privateers where they have to figure out who shot first.

              While I certainly don’t absolve the Somali pirates, there is quite a bit of evidence that foreign maritime interests have taken full advantage of their lack of a viable government for the past 30 years, by overfishing and dumping toxic waste in their waters.

            2. Quite the opposite – if you have arms, no policy. You could get Lloyd’s to write you something, but it would cost big $.

          2. They seem to mostly go after ransom, at least in the cases I heard about.


        2. They just go out and grab anything they can reach.

          Some of the insurance journals back when the piracy around Somali flared back up were fun reading on the “kidnap and ransom” policies.

      5. They just need one country to base out of. There are some natural candidates, as noted, in the area, although I expect the Emirates (Abu Dhabi, Dubai) would also be willing to serve. Make that your “legal” home and part of the package could be liability protections, as well. For that matter, they could be “deputized” with letters of mark and have sovereign immunity.

        1. The legal effect of letters of marque in modern international law is an open question. The Paris Convention of 1856 banned letters of marque, though the US is a notable non-signatory.

    3. It’s ten thousand spoons, when all the Somalis need is a knife.

      1. I heard that song this morning……how ironic.

        1. Dont’cha think?

          1. A little too ironic.

            1. Yeah, I really do think…

    4. A private navy paid for by Suez Canal tolls. Sounds like a great plan to me.

    5. it’s going to play hell with the Somali pirate stock exchange. It’s always the mum and dad investors who get it the worst…

    6. I mentioned this at the time it was really making the news a couple years ago – I couldn’t believe no company was buying naval salvages vessels, fitting them with 20mm chain guns, and contracting with marine insurers to protect merchant shipping.

      1. Insurance companies started cropping up that would provide pirate insurance that included 2-6 contractors who would sail with ships through dangerous areas for about $100,000 per day.

  4. Tying the hands of our drone targetters

    Does Barack Obama intend to end the drone war before leaving office four years from now? There are troubling indications that he may well do just that.

    After Obama took the oath of office four years ago, one of his first acts was to tie the hands of our CIA interrogators ? actions that effectively ended the capture and interrogation of high-value detainees. Now in his second term, it appears that Obama is preparing to tie the hands of our CIA drone targetters ? placing restrictions on their ability to strike terrorists that could sharply reduce, if not altogether end, the drone campaign against al Qaeda in Pakistan.

    1. placing restrictions on their ability to strike terrorists that could sharply reduce, if not altogether end, the drone campaign against al Qaeda in Pakistan.

      Well won’t that be a real fucking shame.

      1. Yeah, only 3.95 more years of carnage!

      2. Leave it to a pinko socialist like Obama to take the tools out of our military’s hands!

        1. The CIA is not the military, last time I checked. Try something about crippling our national security by hamstringing the intelligence community, instead.

          1. Ouch!

            1. Somewhere in here, a sarcasm meter blew a fuse.

    1. “The suit also argues the rule is too narrow to be fair. Alcohol, unsweetened juice and milk-based drinks are excluded, as are supermarkets and many convenience stores”

      Thank you for addressing the inherent racism in our ruling, we are currently working on legislation to ban those items previously left out to ensure equality and promote children’s welfare throughout our state.

      -NYC office of the mayor

  5. Let elderly people ‘hurry up and die’, says Japanese minister

    Taro Aso says he would refuse end-of-life care and would ‘feel bad’ knowing treatment was paid for by government


    1. Japan’s new government is barely a month old, and already one of its most senior members has insulted tens of millions of voters by suggesting that the elderly are an unnecessary drain on the country’s finances.

      Finally, a politician who is actually saying what the rest of us are thinking! And Japan has more than its fair share of old people.

      1. I am going to go long on seppuku knives and death-haiku rice paper.

      2. So “death panels” save a lot of taxpayer money? Bring them on!

        1. You first. I possibly could be convinced to plunge 1000 mg/mL of KCL into you.

          The savings on the carpet soiling, food, and lithium could be cost justified.

          1. I’ll donate to this cause.

          2. I’m not on the federal dole, jackass. Enjoy your Medicare – it’s on me.

            1. Yeah, but your insurance company would thank me, shitweasel. I’m sure your annual co-pay on anti-biotics is staggering.

            2. Jebbus, the troll is so dumb he doesn’t realize doc is in UKR – not the US.

              1. And the last two years I was practicing in the USA, I stopped accepting CMS patients. I did accept charity cases though, as I do have a noted soft spot for the Golden Oldies, as I worked in a nursing home the year before I entered med school. Mama and Primus Maximus wanted to make sure I could handle things like piss, shit, vomit, dealing with patients (and nurses) and the other lovely and unpleasant smells and such before they were going to loan me the money for tuition.

                Smartest thing they did. I really loved that job.

              2. Troll opposes all federal entitlement programs.

                I am a liberal because I oppose religion and authority.

                1. you’re a “liberal” because you’re a fascist.

              3. Jebbus, the troll is so dumb he doesn’t realize doc is in UKR – not the US.

                True, but I still pay USA taxes. (Hi FATCA!)

                1. So you pay in, but receive little to naught for it. Nice.

                  1. I mitigated my tax liability to the maximum.-)

    2. Here’s an idea…let’s create a society where everyone does there duty by dying after age 35. We could have a lottery of sorts where people had a chance of being a select few who got to age. We could call it carousel. We can have everyone live in a dome. Sound good?

      1. Or we could just have a system where the young are not forced to PAY FOR OLD FOLKS MEDICAL CARE!

      2. Will there be much running involved?

        1. why yes…yes there will be…and lifeclocks!

          1. As long as I get a young Jenny Agutter, I’m in.

      3. Can we put jewels in their hands? That’s big for me.

        1. As a kid I always liked the scene where Logan picked a date out while perusing holographic images for a, um, hookup…how come we only get the bad parts of sci-fi futures?!

          1. There is adult friend finder or at least used to be. I don’t know how ligit the site is.

      4. anything involving Jenny Agutter gets my vote. The movie “Walkabout” is, er, a classic nature movie.

        1. If by naked you mean ” totally naked super hot jailbait”

          1. “If by nature you mean ” totally naked super hot jailbait”

        2. I happened across “Walkabout” on IFC last year. Interesting film. Very interesting indeed.

      5. If Jenny Agutter is involved, count me in.

    3. I also feel bad it is paid for by the government. Simple solution there, Aso.

      On a broader mortality note, I think that we as a society need to start discussing this end-of-life stuff a lot more. My grandfather passed on about a month back after a couple years-long battle with Alzheimers/Dementia (at this point I’m honestly not sure what is was). 45 year old him would have shot 86 year old him. But the problem is that, at 86, he had lost so much mentally, coupled with the natural human fear of death, that he just kept going (and he had the money to afford care). Having seen that, I think our medical and ethical systems place far too much value on life as an end unto itself. And, in the context of human history, where for so long people would drop dead of heart attacks at 50 or died down a coal mine shaft at 42 rather than have horrific cancers or debilitating strokes in their 80s, I get why we made death the ultimate.

      But given a choice between death and mental clarity, I choose death. And I think in terms of bioethics, that position needs to be better fleshed out.

      1. I think that we as a society need to start discussing this end-of-life stuff a lot more.

        Careful using “society” there, Goldy. I get what you are saying, and yes people do need to make their wishes known ASAP WRT to EOL care. It’s very hard at times to initiate the conversation, and when dealing with operative consent, this subject comes up every time. Hospitals are stepping up to the plate and requiring this discussion with admissions. Also saves a LOT of time WRT liability concerns.

        2 things than EVERY person should have:

        1) A will and living will (whether or not you have any religious affiliations).

        2) A DNR/DPOA/Medical Care Proxy.

        1. I think it is an individual decision, but it doesn’t mean I can’t hope for a shift in societal attitudes regarding it.

          In libertarian speak, it is the equivalent of approving of legal alcohol while hoping that societal attitudes shift so that the consumption of legal alcohol is looked down on.

          1. It MUST be an individual decision. I actually championed Dr. Jack Kevorkian for this very reason:

            The patient ultimate decides whether or not to push the plunger.

            If hospitals with religious affiliations decide they don’t want to offer this, fine. If secular county hospitals and larger private hospital networks do, fine.

            Unfortunately, with the IPAB and the wholesale gutting of The Conscious Clause, there is the distinct possibility they may not have that choice (read: “mandate”).

            It is unconscionable to deny the option if the patient is 100% sure about it and all legal “i”‘s are dotted and “t”‘s are crossed, and I feel very strongly about that. The patient HAS to be able to do it themselves.

      2. EMT tip: if your family has decided against medical intervention, don’t call 911. if there is any dispute at all, we start providing care. and once that starts, it’s tough to stop.

        1. You’re just begging for an involuntary manslaughter charge by taking that approach.

    4. I certainly don’t favor compelling anyone to end their life, or withholding care, but I do wish old people would hurry up and die sometimes.

      1. I just wish they’d stop voting.

        1. I just wish they’d stop voting in the Supreme Court. We definitely need a retirement age added in the Constitution.

          1. We have that now – it was prompted by a High Court judge going senile but he wouldn’t admit it and resign. A new building for the court was being designed at the time (the 1970s), and apparently the Chief Justice ensured there were no wheelchair ramps so he wouldn’t be able to get in. That did the trick.

      2. When they are in the left lane, signal still on, going 10mph below the speed limit?

        1. Yeah, that.

          Or, more seriously, having seen two grandparents die after years of severe dementia, I have come to believe that prolonging those lives just causes more unnecessary pain to both the old person and their families. Not to mention the huge amounts of money that get thrown down that hole.

  6. We the Government
    An inaugural address of striking liberal ambition and partisanship.

    Inaugurals usually include calls for national unity and appeals to our founding principles, which is part of their charm. With the election long over, swearing in a President is a moment for celebrating larger national purposes. But Mr. Obama’s speech was notable for invoking the founding principles less to unify than to justify what he called “collective action.” The President borrowed the Constitution’s opening words of “we the people” numerous times, but his main theme was that the people are fundamentally defined through government action, and his government is here to help you.

    On that theme, the speech was especially striking for including a specific defense of the federal entitlement programs that everyone knows must be reformed. Mr. Obama cited “Medicare, and Medicaid, and Social Security” by name as “the commitments we make to each other.” Typically, such programmatic specificity is reserved for State of the Union speeches. Mr. Obama almost seemed to be elevating them to Constitutional rights.

    1. “Medicare, and Medicaid, and Social Security”

      Damn those old socialists! And why does Obama care about them? They vote GOP!

        1. And I propose derp panels.

          1. Well, that would leave Hit&Run; troll free.

            1. I think we went an entire day, yesterday, without anyone replying to Tony.

              Please don’t feed this one either.

            1. * music swells*
              “as your doctor, I can clearly see,
              you need a dependectomy …”

              1. Getting those Depends off of people can be challenging…

                Ask Shriek.-D

              2. oops. supposed to be “derp-endectomy’

        2. We are living in a derpical world
          And shreek is a derpical girl

            1. Should shreek be wearing conical boob enhancers or the more classic mesh and frill outfit for this number?

              1. on which part of the anatomy?

                1. Since he constantly shows bis ass around here, I would think that’s the appropriate place.

                  1. ass boobs! ha!

      1. “And why does Obama care about them?”

        He doesn’t. He cares about the young socialists that love those programs.

  7. A House Republican plan to simply ignore the debt ceiling for four months reportedly gets the presidential nod.

    All they need to do is that exact thing eleven more times and everyone will be happy.

    1. In four months time the budget process is pretty much done for, at least they’ll have a fake debt ceiling debate in the summer months to keep the media happy.

    2. I’ll just leave this here.

  8. ‘Not every opinion is valid:’ Carleton University free speech wall torn down within hours

    Only hours after students installed a “Free Speech Wall” at Carleton University to prove that campus free speech was alive and well, it was torn down by an activist who claimed the wall was an “act of violence,” against the gay community.

    “What we wanted to promote was competition of ideas, rather than ‘if I disagree with you I’ve got to censor you,'” said Ian CoKehyeng, founder of Carleton Students for Liberty, the creators of the wall.

    1. I’ll save everyone the trouble of reading the whole article by pointing out the douchebag immediately.

      By Tuesday morning the wall was gone, destroyed in an act of “forceful resistance,” by seventh-year human rights student Arun Smith.

      1. Damn, should’ve bolded seventh-year human rights student for more emphasis.

        1. to fully study human rights, it may take a lifetime.

          1. If you hit Powerball, that’s not a bad idea. Fresh batch of co-eds every year.

            1. Sure, but at some point, their daddy issues can only be overcome by you having the authority of being a professor, so you might as well pass through at some point.

        2. You know, once you leave school you have to start paying for it.

      2. Yes, it should only be professors who do such things.


        1. Haha good point. But wasn’t Popehat the website that was making a point of not firing the (I want to say University of Rhode Island) professor who tweeted all the anti-pro-gun crowd rhetoric following the Sandy Hook shooting? A bit of a disconnect there it seems.

          1. I don’t know, I don’t follow it that closely. There are several different bloggers there.

            Also I love that the story involves Morgan Freeman and a Prof named Kirk.


          2. I think the point that Ken (at Popehat) was attempting to convey was that

            (1) the guy is pretty much a total turd-eating douche nozzle;

            B: his comments were expressed – and, in some cases, unexpressed – on a non-school-affiliated, private but open forum;

            III. his private citizen 1A right to free speech should not be abridged.

            His opinions should not impact his teaching job or the college.

            Popehat Moral of the Story: it’s people being free to say stupid shit that provides the forum for weeding out the stupid shit.

        2. Is that the Joe Kirk who some say fucks sheep or is it a different Joe Kirk?

      3. I suppose it was Arun’s way of coming out to his/her parents.

    2. free speech wall

      So, that 1st amendment thing wasn’t working for them?

  9. a Commonwealth employee injured while having sex in a motel room on a work trip is entitled to worker’s compensation for the injuries she sustained


    1. While the employee and the male were engaged in this recreational activity, a glass light fitting above the bed was pulled from its mount and fell on her. The employee sustained injuries to her nose and mouth, and also suffered a psychological injury.

      Too easy.

      1. I like to think that if I was having sex that brought down light fixtures, I would celebrate, not sue.

  10. ‘Euromadness’ – Betting on Growth in a Stunted Economy

    You find variations on the Spanish theme all over Europe today: Real economies in the cellar, the markets celebrating upstairs, political leaders accepting market logic as logical, and a correction rolling at them like a big, black bowling ball.

    These are our questions, and they will demand our attention like no other this year: Where does growth come from when the government sector, the private sector, and the export sector are all contracting? When can we declare victory over this economic crisis?if ever.

    1. I predict that within the next two or three years we’re going to see a major backlash throughout western Europe against the people who have destroyed these countries.

      1. Really? I doubt it. The populations of Europe have generally been conditioned to think that government is their friend and will take care of them. They’d rather shuffle along under tyranny, whether overt or covert, than stand up and get their hands dirty with the hard work of being free.

        1. Exactly. The majority of these countries still recognize royal families. And until very recently, fascist dictatorships were legitimate.

          We should be more sophisticated like the Europeans!

          1. What’s even worse is to be in a former iron curtain country and see how popular socialism and even communism is. How quickly people forget, or how bad they are at learning the lessons of their own history.

          2. Exactly. The majority of these countries still recognize royal families

            This. They will be overran by the Muslim horde. They are sheep ready for the slaughter.

      2. What we’re actually going to see is a lot of their wiminz folk in Burquas. Because who is going to save them, their emasculated eurotard males with no guns? Haha.

        Muslim Patrol terrorizing defenseless limeys

        Anyone wanting to buy some shares in my burqua factory, best to act now, it’s a limited time offer.

  11. John Bolton: Al Qaeda on the rise

    Accepting his party’s renomination for president on Sept. 6, Barack Obama boasted, “Al Qaeda is on the path to defeat, and Osama bin Laden is dead.” The crowd roared its approval.

    It’s now painfully clear that someone wasn’t listening. Five days later, terrorists attacked in Benghazi, killing Ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other Americans. Other terrorists in northern Mali, affiliated with al Qaeda, were in the process of seizing territory the size of Texas, and still others just carried out a daring raid in Algeria resulting in 38 or more hostages killed.

    1. Al Qaeda on the rise

      Impossible. Nothing we do in the Middle East is a recruiting tool for terrorists and there is no such thing as blowback.

      1. Look Sugar Free. It is not like we let them kill an ambassador and get away with it or anything. Obama is all over this. Now go back to worrying about birth control and PBS and the important issues.

        1. Hilary will clear everything up. TRANSPARENCY!

    2. Is Bolton’s war-boner softening? I wonder how soon he will attack Rand Paul after he announces his 2016 run.

    3. Meh, it’s Bolton. He’s just pissed there is a Dem in the White House and the US military isn’t slaughtering its way across northern Africa and the Middle East.

      1. Operation Torch II: Desert Bugaloo!

        1. Yeah, but in Torch I, we got to attack the (Vichy) French!

      2. US military isn’t slaughtering its way across northern Africa and the Middle East

        He won’t have to wait too long, if the rumor about the US transporting French troops into Mali, is true.

        Best to visit Paris now if you want to, before half the city is in flames.

    4. Isn’t Al Qaeda like McDonalds at this point? A franchise/brand name that terrorists groups associate with because it is well known, and not because they are necessarily taking marching orders or part of a broader, ideologically coherent organization.

      As far as I can tell, it seems “Al Quada” is more a loose collection of Islamic terrorists in various parts of the world than an ideologically and strategically coherent organization. Viet Kong they are not.

      1. but they’re hiding under every rock!

      2. Drive through terrorism:

        “I’ll have a number four with extra rocket launchers and a side of C4… Value sized.”

      3. Well, some are franchises that operate under the al Qaeda? brand. Franchisees have to pay a franchise fee and must adhere to corporate policies around branding, fatwah pronouncements, target selection, and the like.

        However, there are a good number of independent terror businesses that operate illegally as knock-offs of the al Qaeda brand. For instance, al Qaida and al Qa’ida are counterfeit brands and not part of the al Qaeda corporate operation.

        1. “Ugh. Doesn’t Botswana look like such a skank? You can tell her terrorists groups are knock-offs!”

          1. why pay more for a name-brand Islamic terrorist group when you can get the same quality murders for less?

            1. Sure we’re a little sloppier on the beheadings…but we make up for it on volume!

              1. Don’t forget QaedaAde?, it has electrolytes!

  12. First we contror yowa battery technorogy, den we contror da worrd! HAHAHAHA!

    The concerns surround the sale of A123 Systems — a firm backed for years by U.S. taxpayers — to a company run by a Chinese multi-millionaire with deep ties to the Chinese Communist Party. The move would essentially transfer sensitive battery technology with “key military applications,” according to one group that is opposing the sale.

    1. Step One: Purchase, at pennies on the dollar, a failed US taxpayer financed battery company that couldn’t produce a marketable product

      Step Two: …?

      Step Three: WORLD DOMINATION!

  13. This is Rhode Island. How do politicians plan to line their pockets by making something legal?

    Well, since no one was going to jail, they weren’t getting money out of “criminalizing” same-sex marriage. Maybe they plan to regulate the lavish wedding industry.

  14. All of Obama’s executive orders have been fully consistent with the Constitution.

    Here is permanent dumbass Sean Hannity arguing with a former Bush AG about the Obama EO’s and getting schooled.


    It is actually humorous to see the expression on Hannity’s mug.

      1. Keep this up, please?

    1. You know Shreek, all you ever post is stuff about Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity. You’re just a closet fucking red hat pretending to be a retarded libertarian acting like an idiot Team Blue loser.

      1. So I should read Jezebel or Huffington Post instead? They bore me. I prefer these nutcases instead.

        1. LOL! HuffPo and Jezebel are where you get you links.

      2. “a closet fucking red hat pretending to be a retarded libertarian acting like an idiot Team Blue loser”

        By Jove, I think you have it!

        1. Certainly the retard part.

    2. It’s a stiff, rubout soaked sockpuppet, people. Please ignore it.

      1. I’m having a hard time deciding whether I like this description or John’s “demonic little ______” more.

    3. They’re Constitutional because a Bush AG says they are. Hilarious.

      1. Federal officials are well known for arguing strongly against the potential powers of the federal government.

      2. He was the sober Bush AG. Brought in as a compromise confirmation after Gonzales.

        Yes, but I readily admit the surface irony.

      3. Allofasudden Bush AG’s are unimpeachable authorities on the limits and scope of executive power.

  15. Tiger Woods: I left California over tax rates too

    During a press conference Tuesday, golf legend Tiger Woods said he moved to Florida in 1996 because of California’s high tax rates. The comments came after fellow golfer Phil Mickelson hinted Sunday that he might leave the Golden State ? or perhaps even move out of the U.S. completely ? because of income tax increases.

    “I moved out of here back in ’96 for that reason,” Woods told reporters at the Torrey Pines Golf Course in La Jolla, Calif.

    1. Probably a lot more Waffle House waitresses in Fla., too.

    2. Also impossible. Tony said no one responds in anyway to tax hikes except criminals. Are you suggest Tiger Woods is a criminal?!?

      1. Does the word “duh” mean anything to you? He’s rich, of course he’s a criminal.

        1. Fun Fact: The word “duh” is the translit for the Russian for “spirit”.

    3. Duh. Most pro athletes maintain residency on Florida for this reason. Those that don’t, are stupid. Also Florida might not be a community property state as well. Bonus!

      1. We’re not a community property state. No income taxes. Some other wealth friendly positions.

        Florida! Come for the sun and strippers, stay for your portfolio.

        1. I was in Fla. last week and am flying to Tampa way tomorrow. That’s where you are, PL, no? I’ve written travel stories from everywhere in Florida except the Bay Area. (I think I’ll enjoy the Dali Museum.) I don’t really do strip clubs — I can’t get ’em covered on my expense account.

          1. The Dali is nice. There’s also a Chihuly museum and the Museum of Fine Arts nearby.

            We sometimes go to the Morean Arts Center (also in downtown St. Pete), which has a cheap glassblowing demonstration they run. It was $8 last time we went, and it was well worth it to see the glassblowing up close.

            There’s really a ton of things to do down in the Bay area, but it’s all very spread out.

            1. I have been specifically tasked with checking out the downtown St. Pete scene.
              Also: I have come to hate Chihuly. It’s pleasant enough crap, but it seems as if every fucking museum in the country is crawling with Chihuly. You go to the fucking Annie Oakley museum in fucking Greenville, OH, and I’ll bet they’ve got a Chihuly. The Custer Hat Museum in Gillette, Wyoming? Filled with Chihuly, I’ll wager. His studio must be churning out 300 pieces a day.

              1. You like glass? The Toledo Museum of Art is the place for you. True story. (They also have a complete glass studio and some rocking glass-blowing demos.) The art museum is the best (only?) thing Toledo has going.

              2. I met him at an installation in Columbus back in the 90s, so I have a soft spot for his work. But he is becoming rather ubiquitous.

                Also downtown is the St. Petersburg Museum of History. They’ve had some cool exhibits in the past.

    4. The comments came after fellow golfer Phil Mickelson hinted Sunday that he might leave the Golden State ? or perhaps even move out of the U.S. completely ? because of income tax increases.

      Thattaboy, Lefty! I knew there was a reason he was one of my favorite golfers.

      1. Don’t get too happy, he apologized.

        1. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! From this moment forward, I am renouncing my heritage (as a golf watcher)!

        2. Now I know for certain that Mickelson is a pussy

        3. He didn’t retract his comments, only that he was sorry if people were offended. He’ll be in AZ, TX, or FL by next year but this is the last word we’ll hear about it.

      2. Mickleson sort of backtracked after being criticized for saying that. Unbelieveable.

        1. He can backtrack and apologize, and still move.

          1. If moving to FL from the people paradise of CA is the penance he has to pay then so be it.

  16. http://online.wsj.com/article/…..TopOpinion

    Josh Marshal, as if it wasn’t already obvious, shows himself to be a nasty little hateful bastard. Here are his examples of people who should not be allowed to own guns

    There is the Facebook “friend” from high school who huffed a lot of gas and never got higher than a C in any class (especially history/social studies)? Yep, he is now an (unofficial) sniper in the anti-fascist militia and a legal expert. He changed his avatar to an AR-15. Now watch this Sandy Hook Truther video he just posted!

    ? There is the uncle who has held like 80 different jobs, thought that removing lead from gasoline was Communism, and used to send me every paranoid conspiracy theory chain-email ever made until my mocking responses finally made him stop? Yep, finally got an (unpaid) job as Constitutional Scholar, varmit-destroyer, and protector of free society.

    ? There is the cousin-in-law who got a job as a cop and then was quietly let go like two weeks later for reasons no one will tell me, and who now plays shoot-em up video games all day. His new milita-member duty is mocking people who call a “magazine” a “clip” and informing them that if they can’t name all the parts of weapon correctly, they have no business having opinions about it.

    None of those people are dangerous or criminal. They are just “icky” in his nasty smug view.

    1. There is the cousin-in-law who got a job as a cop and then was quietly let go like two weeks later for reasons no one will tell me

      He probably knew too much about the weapons being used (other than point-n-shoot) and also understood that the people he was swearing to protect have actual rights. Clearly not cop material.

      1. Failed the intelligence test by scoring too high.

    2. None of those people are dangerous or criminal real.

      I have a feeling the author made up a bunch of stereotypes for his op-ed piece.

      1. That is probably a good guess. What a pathetic little weasel Marshall is.

    3. who now plays shoot-em up video games all day

      OH Nos! Another of those virtual terrorists!

    4. His new milita-member duty is mocking people who call a “magazine” a “clip” and informing them that if they can’t name all the parts of weapon correctly, they have no business having opinions about it.

      Strawman or not, this position is correct.

  17. I hate humanity, part 5,683

    I remark that little girl should be a scientist someday, seeing as she’s so curious. The mother then acts like I suggested she be a serial killer. “No no! I don’t want that!.” I ask why and she says “It’s too hard!”

    1. I work for an anti-violence organization. I am a lesbian womyn of color and do a number of trainings on lgbtq issues and violence for the organization. At our last volunteer training, a training done for new incoming volunteers, my colleague turns to the class and points at me saying, “After meeting (my name), I now look at these issues differently.” She essentially outs me at every training while presenting on issues of marginalization. She is also not great at receiving feedback so these things largely go unaddressed.

      That site will make you start to think that David Attenborough may have a point.

      1. I am a lesbian womyn

        If they can’t say woman because it has “man” in it, I suggest a better change would be cunt.

        1. That reminds me: Couldn’t “lgbtq” be shortened to “q” wolog?

          1. No; I think he Q stands for “questioning”.

            1. Um, *pretty sure* it stands for “queer”.

              Can we get a ruling on this?

              1. It can stand for either but usually stands for queer, and many LGBTQ people would say that “queer” is not a superset of the other things but a thing in itself.

                1. Yes, “Queer” means to have any sort of non-categorical sexual preference or an ambiguous (but not deliberately androgynous) gender display. “Questioning” means you are not entirely comfortable describing yourself as straight or gay and/or cis or trans.

                  1. So it should really be LGBTQr.Qst.?

                    1. LGBTIQQAAP

                      Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual.

                    2. Or just LGBTQQ, if you’re like, into the whole brevity thing. It’s only a matter of time until some other category of repressed sexuality makes the list, anyway.
                      Perhaps LGBTQQSS (Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, questioning, Steve Smith)?

                    3. Oh, I see my idea has already been anticipated. Story of my life.

                    4. Taking another approach: How about “N”, for “not straight”?

                    5. Rich, stop othering

                    6. just what we need, another N word

                    7. You misspelled that…it is “STEVE SMITH”

                    8. Sure, we can throw pedophiles and zoophiles in there too. I mean those guys actually are oppressed in that their sexual preferences land them in jail.

                      But no matter what we ain’t tolerating the Furries.

            2. What it really means is “anyone other than a publicly professed straight, white male.”

              Categorizing serves to exclude as much as it does to include.

              They seek to perform the former.

      2. She does violence for the organization?

        1. Come see the violence inherent in the organization!

          1. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

      3. Something tells me if you are doing “training” on gay issues for a lefty organization, you’ve sort of outed yourself.

        1. Pfffttttt….

          These people need to have multiple outings for their own emotional well-being. It’s a need to play themselves as the other, the victim, the different, because what you fuck makes you special, don’t you see?

          They wrap their entire identities around how their get their jollies. It’s pathetic and sad.

    2. A little girl told me she doesn’t want a hard job! That little bitch microaggressed against me!

      1. Read it again – it’s the mother saying it, giving her daughter the great life lesson that she shouldn’t make an effort.

  18. President Obama is considering bypassing Congress and implementing his environmental agenda through executive orders and administrative regulations.

    It’s a damn good thing our economic recovery isn’t fragile or this could be a problem for, well, just about everyone who relies on energy in any form.

    1. Coal is bad, oil is bad, fracking for gas is bad, nuclear is bad.

      If they ever find a way to make solar effecient and popular-it will become bad overnight.

      1. Solar already is bad. Google “blood minerals”.

        1. Hydro-electric kills spawning fish. Wind farms disrupt migratory patterns.

          1. “Wind farms disrupt migratory patterns.”

            No they don’t. Birds fly right into the turbines.

        2. i think it was here — but I saw solar power described as power from an unlicensed and unregulated nuclear fusion reactor.

          1. Not to mention the unfair competition!

            We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low price; for the moment he appears, our sales cease, all the consumers turn to him, and a branch of French industry whose ramifications are innumerable is all at once reduced to complete stagnation. This rival, which is none other than the sun, is waging war on us so mercilessly we suspect he is being stirred up against us by perfidious Albion (excellent diplomacy nowadays!), particularly because he has for that haughty island a respect that he does not show for us


            1. 19th century Frenchman wins again

      2. Energy is bad, because energy makes human life possible.

        Frankly, if the extreme environmentalists think that humans are so bad for Earth, they should take a 180 and start advocating for more global warming, more energy use, and increased populations. Barring a full-scale nuclear war (and probably even then), life will bounce back after humanity takes an indefinite leave of absence.

        Also, they should encourage people to leave the planet.

    2. I’d fucking impeach him over and over again and do no other business until he fucking stopped. If I were King of the House, that is.

      Yes, violating the Constitution is an impeachable offense, and double yes, most presidents could have been impeached on those grounds.

    3. You all did see that on the Lupercal
      I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
      Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

      1. Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.

        That’s a great speech. Shakespeare could kick some ass when he wanted to.

        1. Or else what follows?

          Bloody constraint; for if you hide the crown
          Even in your hearts, there will he rake for it:
          Therefore in fierce tempest is he coming,
          In thunder and in earthquake, like a Jove,
          That, if requiring fail, he will compel;
          And bids you, in the bowels of the Lord,
          Deliver up the crown, and to take mercy
          On the poor souls for whom this hungry war
          Opens his vasty jaws; and on your head
          Turning the widows’ tears, the orphans’ cries
          The dead men’s blood, the pining maidens groans,
          For husbands, fathers and betrothed lovers,
          That shall be swallow’d in this controversy.
          This is his claim, his threatening and my message;

          Yeah, I’d hand the crown over right then.

          1. Close, damn’d tag, close!

          2. Yes, one of my favorite plays.

            And don’t forget. . . .

            Scorn and defiance; slight regard, contempt,
            And any thing that may not misbecome
            The mighty sender, doth he prize you at.
            Thus says my king; an’ if your father’s highness
            Do not, in grant of all demands at large,
            Sweeten the bitter mock you sent his majesty,
            He’ll call you to so hot an answer of it,
            That caves and womby vaultages of France
            Shall chide your trespass and return your mock
            In second accent of his ordnance.

  19. Because government cock won’t suck itself, CNN employs Emanuella Grinberg:

    It’s tempting to dismiss Michelle Obama’s wardrobe as a topic so frivolous that it shifts the public gaze from its rightful focus on the first lady’s efforts to reduce childhood obesity or put healthy eating on the national agenda.
    But if there’s one thing we can learn from her panache for mixing patterns or flair for pairing Talbot dresses and designer shades, it’s that fashion doesn’t have to be frivolous.
    “She’s someone who has proven that you can care about looking great, and take risks in that regard, and also be an incredibly well-spoken, intelligent person who takes action and gets behind issues,” said Leah Chernikoff, managing editor of style blog Fashionista.com.

    1. So there was an attractive, stylish over 40 mom before Queen Michelle? I guess women didn’t even know what make up and high end dresses were before Michelle showed them.

      It is funny how they manage to be both profoundly patronizing and racist and misogynistic all at the same time.

      1. She’s incredibly well-spoken…

        1. And clean.

      2. Michelle Obama is pretty graceless – and that’s OK. Not everyone is going to be Princess Grace. Her fashion choices would work if she had enough poise to compensate for her physique. But she doesn’t. Again, there is nothing wrong with that.

        It’s the pretense that she is the second coming of Grace Kelly that leaves me amazed.

        1. It is just racism. She is nothing but a over 45 mom with a large butt and a figure she is battling the rages of kids and time. For her age, Laura Bush was more attractive and better kept up than her. They only pretend she is the black Carla Bruni because they are racist and feel that it is okay to hold black women to lower standards.

          1. the last attractive First Lady was Jackie O

            1. Pretty much. The rest of them have just been aging or middle aged moms. They were not hideous. But none of them were glamorous, except maybe Nancy Reagan but she was way too old to still have any of it by the time she was First Lady.

            2. I don’t understand why people think Jackie O was pretty. She had style, grace, and class but I don’t think she was all that beautiful. (Well, maybe by first lady standards she was.)

          2. I don’t think it’s racism. I think it has more to do with their desire to keep Obama on a pedestal as some perfect being.

            If people were to criticize her – for example sending a staffer out to procure Bisquick so they could make pancakes while staying at a four star hotel in Spain – it calls into question Obama’s judgement in one area.

            Take the best person in the world, and you will find blind spots. A decent person will turn out to be a Yankees fan, for example. Linus Pauling did great work in particle physics – and went into medical quackery big time.

            And, a person can learn from, follow, or work with such people if they are a little skeptical and recognize that there will be a mix of good qualities and flaws.

            I suspect that given Obama’s execrable performance in pretty much every area of his life, they fear that if someone questions his perfection in any area, it will be the crack in the dikes holding back an ocean of criticism.

            1. All real baseball fans are Yankees fans. Pathetic losers like Ken Burns who use baseball as some kind of romantic compensation for something are Red Sox and Dodger fans.

              1. All real baseball fans are Yankees fans<?blockquote

                This is rich. The Yankees got lucky and benefited from players being chattel property. Modern Yankee fans know far less about baseball than a lot of other fans because they only pay attention to their team in the last two months of the season.

                1. Whatever Restoras. Like the Dodgers or Red Sox or any of the other teams couldn’t have signed players like DiMaggio and Mantle.

                  And I thought the Yankees were only good because of free agency? Now it is because of the reserve clause? Thanks for proving my point.

                  1. Actually the Yankees do have a built in advantage over every other team in the league. They are the #1 team (in any sport) in the largest most media saturated market in the world.

                    This means that even bench scrubs on the Yanks earning the league minimum can get endorsement deals supplimenting their incomes which are simply not available to anyone but the superstars in other cities. Further the media saturation causes the “value” of yankees players to be inflated turning above average players (Andy Pettitte) into Superstars leading to bigger contracts down the road.

                  2. Whatever John. I don’t recall saying they’re success was due entirely to free agency but certainly the reserve clause allowed them to keep talent regardless of the wishes of that talent.

                    They consistently spend more than everyone else and don’t have a consistent track record of championships. That strategy is going to get even harder for them and other big spending teams including the Red Sox and Dodgers as more money flows into the game.

            2. I actually do think it’s racism. The patronizing kind that says that Obama needs special help to succeed.

              I didn’t used to believe it to this extent, but I think modern leftists have become profoundly patronizing of minorities, and there’s really no reason for that (other than the obvious vote-buying, but this goes deeper) other than a belief that the minorities are inferior. They even do it with women.

              1. If Michelle Obama were white and had that figure and dressed in some of those dresses, she would be brutalized by the media. At some level Michelle Obama has to be self aware enough to see through it. She has to know she is not glamorous and not a super model. I would not be surprised if at heart she really resents and hates many of her white admirers. I would if I were her.

                1. At some level Michelle Obama has to be self aware enough to see through it.

                  I seriously doubt that.

                  1. I think Michelle Obama is a nasty unpleasant person. But I do not think she is stupid. Anyone with an IQ above Tony and Shreek would realize what is going on.

                    I think she knows perfectly well what her white admirers are doing and at heart hates their guts for it. She is just savvy enough not to show it publicly.

                    1. I think they are both too steeped in entitlement mentality to see it any other way than finally getting the admiration and recognition they deserve. As for the racist aspect, I don’t know, but certainly from the elitist perspective they see it this way.

            3. “I don’t think it’s racism. I think it has more to do with their desire to keep Obama on a pedestal as some perfect being.”

              I believe history teaches us that they also blacks were placed on a pedestal at slave auctions.

        2. Michelle Obama is pretty graceless


          But she doesn’t.


          It’s the pretense that she is the second coming of Grace Kelly that leaves me amazed.


          1. It’s tempting to dismiss CNN as frivolous

            1. I think the viewing public already has done so.

          1. What? Crap, I dress like that.

            1. You’re not the first lady, and I’m sure no one goes on and on about how elegant, beautiful, and fashionable you are.

              1. If I were First Lady, I’d wear a dragon kimono every day. And nothing else.

                1. Stop making me see that in my head

                2. Would you let your wang peek out the front a little?

                  1. Only on special occasions.

                    Actually, I’m kidding. If my wife were president, I’d wear a kilt and a sword. Formal kilt for state occasions, of course.

                3. me too! Shoot, I really need a dragon kimono.

                  1. I got one in Tokyo when I was shopping, and–for the only time while I was there–the shopkeeper attempted English and explained how a big, strong man like me needed a kimono. I succumbed to her Asian wiles (of salemanship–not the other wiles) and made the purchase.

                4. It puts the lotion on its skin…

          2. I think she looks better there than in her fancy dresses.

    2. “to minimize the influence of her sartorial choices deprives the rest of us of an opportunity to learn from them”

      “Every woman in America knows that FLOTUS has great arms; that’s because she knows it and she shows them off in sleeveless dresses”

      Gold, Jerry!

    3. It’s easy to be carefree with one’s wardrobe when said person isn’t paying for it.

      I would love to have a non-utilitarian wardrobe; only problem is I have to worry about buying food and paying rent first. What is it that Michelle does again?

      1. What is it that Michelle does again?


    4. an incredibly well-spoken, intelligent person who takes action and gets behind issues

      How disgustingly patronizing can you get? These people are obviously so scared of being called racist that they treat her like a well behaved pet who just did something cute.

      1. She fights obesity by encouraging the consumption of starches.

        1. +1000 bowls of whole wheat pasta.

  20. President Obama is considering bypassing Congress and implementing his environmental agenda through executive orders and administrative regulations.

    Uh, he and his stooge Lisa Jackson, aka “Richard Windsor”, have already been doing this for a while.

    But yes, it’s going to get much worse. If you thought the first term sucked ass, you’ve seen absolutely nothing yet my friends.

    1. US energy production went way up during his first term while prices fell from previous highs.

      Sure, fracking gets the most credit but its not like it is going away.

      Nice try though, Sean.

      1. In other words, Obama does it right when he deviates from the Democrat party line. You could learn something from him.

        1. During the Bush presidency, democrats complained increasing energy production took years. Now it happens instantaneously.

      2. Sure, fracking gets the most credit but its not like it is going away.

        Its just one EPA reg away from being shut down.

  21. Nate Silver: What is Driving the Growth in Government Spending?

    Spending on entitlement programs was about $500 billion per year in 1972 in today’s dollars. If it had increased at the same rate as the gross domestic product, it would now be about $1.4 trillion. Instead, it is now about $2.9 trillion per year. What this means is that there has been about a $1.5 trillion increase in entitlement spending above and beyond gross domestic product growth.


    To clarify: all of the major categories of government spending have been increasing relative to inflation. But essentially all of the increase in spending relative to economic growth, and the potential tax base, has come from entitlement programs, and about half of that has come from health care entitlements specifically.

    1. Welcome to the party, pal.

    2. The comments are the usual verbose NYT delusionoids. Socialized medicine will fix it all! France!

    3. Silver needs to read his own paper to see where that rising cost of entitlements is coming from: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09…..d=all&_r=0

    4. Um, duh? Anyone who looks at a pie chart of the budget should have known this.

      1. His last two paragraphs are pretty good:

        Nevertheless, the declining level of trust in government since the 1970s is a fairly close mirror for the growth in spending on social insurance as a share of the gross domestic product and of overall government expenditures. We may have gone from conceiving of government as an entity that builds roads, dams and airports, provides shared services like schooling, policing and national parks, and wages wars, into the world’s largest insurance broker.

        Most of us don’t much care for our insurance broker.

  22. Sparky, you inspiration is a fucking wierdo.
    Even John wouldn’t fuck her.

    1. Jeez she has like 70-year-old woman feet

      1. I didn’t know you have a foot fetish.

        1. The older and more Chinese-bound, the better.

    2. Who looks worse with(out) makeup, Ke$ha or Lady Gaga?

      1. At least Ke$ha smiles once in a while while that Gaga creature seems intent on having a permanent scowl.

    3. Sparky, you inspiration is a fucking wierdo.

      Why the hell do you think I like her so much? She’s absolutely fucking absurd, and that’s just pure awesome.

    4. Not into trannies.

      1. She’s all female.
        She’s just, well, ugh.

        1. Regardless of what her parts are, if they were male, would she look any different? She is close enough to a tranny for me. No thanks.

    5. yikes. back in my day, people got beat up for dressing like that.

  23. Dear Mariella, I want to stop my lesbian neighbours from showing off their sex life

    Mariella asks “why?”…

    1. I guess the answer would depend on the lesbians involved.

    2. “My husband loves the display and I don’t have a problem with their sexuality, I just don’t like seeing anyone make love in full view of everyone else.”

      Ah. I see what’s going on here.

    3. Film it and post it to YouTube. They’ll buy curtains eventually.

      1. YouTube? Setup a webcam and charge admission.

    4. I have a friend whose parents (in their seventies) live next to a lesbian couple who don’t bother to pull the curtains for sexytimez. His mom loves the show while his dad grumbles about it.

      1. as long as they return the favour …

  24. Belinda Carlisle, 30 years later.
    John would fuck her.

    1. so very cruel.

    2. Line her up against a random selection of 54-year-old women. I bet she wins.

      1. Yep. The eyes are the problem, in the picture with more of a profile of her face, she looks okay.

        Considering all she did in the 80s, its a surprise she is alive, much less looks reasonably okay.

      1. I love that the screen cap for that video is Andy Taylor, not Belinda Carlisle.

    3. Brandi Carlisle, though, just released a kickass new album in June.

      And is sadly a lesbian. CURSES!

  25. ‘The Ultimate Segway Fails Compilation’

    1. I saw a wild Segway just a couple of days ago. I have never seen one that wasn’t at an airport, part of a city tour business, or in the hands of some government worker (though that seems to have tapered off, too).

      1. Basically the Segway is the epitome of marketing direct to government agencies. It’s the iPhone of official gadgetry, the Apple of functionary transportation, and would not continue to exist if not for wasteful local government spending.

      2. it’s hard to see Segways when their riders keep driving them off cliffs

      3. Not sure about other cities but there are several outfits here in Boston that run tours on them or rent them for tourism purposes during the summer.

  26. http://dailycaller.com/2013/01…..-possible/

    John Brennan, the author of George Bush’s interrogation policy and the man Obama has appointed to head the CIA, denied the existence of “absolute human rights” and argued in favor of censorship on the part of the Egyptian dictatorship in his Masters Thesis. No wonder he fits in so well with the Obama Administration.

    1. John Yoo was Bushy’s torture Czar.

      1. No retard, Yoo was the lawyer. He just wrote the memos saying the policies Brennan was drafting were legal. I know you are functionally retarded, but you might want to think about what lawyers do.

        1. Ignore the lying griefer piece of shit. Don’t give it the attention it so desperately craves.

  27. Moment of horror as woman watches her fiance die in Hawaiian surf after he jumped into water to try and save his best friend

    Lady, dude was gay. Look at them. They were gay lovers, lady. You were engaged to a pee-pee puffer.

  28. Shameless sex symbol? WTF does that mean?

    1. Its a British paper. She has good skin and straight teeth. She would be a goddess in Britain.

      1. Plus, she’s English.

        Remember, the most important thing for an American to like you is that you are American.

        The most important thing for an Englishman to like you is that you are, in fact, not English.

        It’s why our countries have such a special relationship.

        1. I meant not English. DAMN YOU LACK OF EDIT BUTTON!

        2. or Welsh
          English hate the Welsh

        3. She definitely has an English face. Did they drive out all the small-nosed woman as witches in the 1600s?

    2. It means she’s on a show called “Shameless.”

      1. That makes sense.

        1. Yes. Lead actress on Showtime’s “Shameless”.

    3. She’s on a show titled “Shameless”… it’s pretty simple.

  29. Joe Biden “intoxicated” by 2016 run.

    Secret Service Agent: “The VP is ‘polishing his Trans Am’, again. Every time he hears the word ‘2016’, we have to get him somewhere. I swear to Christ, he’s jerked off more since the inauguration than the entire Presidential detail has since the whore ban came down.”

    1. He’s old. He’s got tons of drugs!

    2. You sure he’s not just intoxicated? Really, how would you know?

      1. They count the Natty Lights on the lawn of the Naval Observatory and come up with fewer than usual. He’s cutting back on the calories already.

  30. Boehner commits to 10 year budget.

    Bahaha. Boehner to NR: Come kick this football. I won’t move it, I promise.

  31. Human, get this goddamn fishing line off me. Dolphins really are smart enough to train people.

  32. http://www.ksdk.com/rss/articl…..gun-supply

    Proposed Missouri bill to require parents to tell schools if they own a gun.

    1. Hopefully, parents will respond by bringing their guns to the statehouse.

      1. Hopefully, parents will respond by bringing their guns to the statehouse.


  33. Giant goat cheese fire closes Norweigan tunnel for a week.

    y. That’s because 27 metric tons of flaming goat cheese burned inside a Norwegian road tunnel, closing nearly two miles of the road for six days. Yeah. 60k lbs of goat cheese.

    1. Disastorlicious!

      1. *barf*

      2. I was just thinking, the Greeks would’ve known what to do with 60000 lbs of burning goat cheese.

        1. Worlds largest saganaki!

    2. Finally cheap pizza in Oslo!

    3. Couldn’t they seal the tunnel until the fire went out and then bulldoze the fondue out the other side? Do I have to think of everything?

      1. You can’t bulldoze fondue! Dumbass.

      2. “bulldoze the fondue”

        Great name for a techno-band.

        1. FONDUZER!

          1. Fond?plau!

            Extra skwerl feed text added.

  34. Can’t wait for Sunday

    In ten minutes, we shall start recording show one of the next series of Top Gear. We are all noticeably fatter.

    1. I think it is on Monday in the US.

      1. That will be their previous season, I think, because BBC doesn’t think we’re special enough to see them here right after they air them there.

        So, new for us, old for them.

    2. Will he still make fun of fat Americans with his pot belly sticking out?

      1. undoubtedly

  35. Anyone notice the purge of General Officers over the past few months?

    Gen. Allen may be cleared of charges, but his career is over.

    CENTCOM Marine General James Mattis is being forced out for questioning incompetent Obama advisers.

    AFRICOM Commander General Ham was retired out right after Benghazi (he supposedly tried to mount a rescue).

    1. Admiral Gaouette, commander of the USS John C. Stennis strike group was relieved the week of Benghazi with some B.S. investigation story.

      What the hell is going on?

      1. What the hell is going on?

        The great purge.

        Check this out.

        1. What the generals think their soldiers will do and what their soldiers would actually do are two different things.

        2. Interesting although they are asking the wrong people if true. A General can give all the orders he wants, if the NCO’s refuse, it isn’t going to happen.

        3. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

          1. Don’t believe anything you read on InfoWars.

  36. http://www.slate.com/blogs/fut…..fight.html

    Obama brings God into climate change fight. It is a good thing we didn’t elect one of those fundie Republicans.

  37. Yesterday I was in the car at an unusual time (for me) and listening to Here and Now on NPR, and they had Suzanna Hupp on. I didn’t hear the whole thing, but about 20-25 minutes or so, and I was surprised at how decent the spot was. Robin Young was doing the whole understanding-NPR-voice thing just saying, “Sure…yes…yes, your experience was horrible” or whatever, and I was thinking about it later and realized that she just did not know what to do with Hupp since Hupp had her own emotional experience of the whole thing. If you try to argue about facts using reason and logic, they will just emote you out the door, but if you show up with dead bodies of your own, they don’t know what to say.

    Now, Young did go on to start asking her about a lot of stupid stats like how many people kill themselves with guns and stuff, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard such a big “win” for the pro-gun side in an outlet like NPR.

    1. It is really funny to watch their own weapons turned against them. Hupp is a woman and she has an emotional story to tell. That is supposed to trump all logic and reason in liberal land. But what if the emotion and the story don’t fit the party narrative? Does not compute!!1

      1. She’s… whatever the female equivalent of an Uncle Tom is.

        Nicole, you’d be good at this: Which literary character could be argued to have betrayed women, as long as you totally ignore the whole point of the book?

        I mean, that’s basically what Uncle Tom is as a phrase.

        1. Sarah Palin? (She is a fictional character, isn’t she?)

        2. Good question, I’ll have to give that some thought.

        3. She’s… whatever the female equivalent of an Uncle Tom is.

          Aunt Jemima?

          1. Aunt Jemima?

            I could swear I’ve actually heard this term used before.

            1. Condaleeza Rice. Female Uncle Tom.

            2. In this context? Because I’ve only heard it used as a slur for a certain kind of black woman.

              1. I don’t remember the context so you could be right.

        4. Every role Nichole Kidman ever played?

          1. Kidman played a man for Cruise?

        5. Ellador from Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s Herland? She was the one woman in an all female utopia that was able to establish a successful relationship with one of the men who discovered their community and chose to leave with him.

          If you haven’t read it, don’t. It’s a social-feminist manifesto with a healthy dose of eugenics sprinkled through out written by a woman who thought Margaret Sanger wasn’t feminist enough.

          1. I haven’t read Herland, but I’ve read other Perkins Gilman. But so is leaving the utopia presented as good or bad? I’m assuming bad, based on the stories of hers that I remember. I think we’re looking for something different: a story where a feminist reader might think the woman is betraying the sisterhood, but the author’s point is in fact that leaving the utopia (in this case) and having a successful relationship with a man are good things.

            I’m thinking we need someone more like Jane Eyre, at least if Jane Eyre were widely misunderstood in this way. I’m sure there are some people who think Jane is giving up her intelligence and empowerment by marrying a man (who acted kind of fucked up to her, too). Anyway she’s the best example I have come up with so far.

          2. I had to read it for an college english assignment and report on it. It was one of the prof’s “favorite” books. Gak.

            I did a Lockean analysis of the book. Needless to say, the prof wasn’t sure what to make of it, but to her credit, she kept an open mind and gave me a good grade on it.

        6. I will give you one. Ellen James in The World According to Garp.

          1. What actually ends up happening to Ellen James? I forget, and Wiki doesn’t say.

            1. SPOILERS

              She ends up marrying Duncan after caring for him during his recuperation from loosing an arm in a motorcycle accident.

              1. *losing* typing grr

            2. She saves Garp from the mob at Jenny’s funeral and thanks him for the book he wrote.

              1. Oh right, I knew it was something like that. Thanks guys!

    2. Watching her rhetorically bitch-slap Chuck Schumer during her Congressional testimony several decades ago was truly satisfying.

      1. That was one of the greatest Youtubes I have ever seen.

  38. Has anyone else ever watched Rodenberry’s non-Trek sci-fi, Andromeda?

    Finally found some episodes online so that I could dip my toe in. Not bad… but dear god, Kevin Sorbo plays every role I’ve seen (this and Hercules) like hes playing a parody of it.

    1. I remember that show. It was pretty good.

    2. I watched the first season and sporradic episodes after that.

      First season showed promise but I didn’t see a whole lot of development of that promise and they went and ignored some of the most interesting possible storylines by downplaying the role of the Neitzchiean charicter and focusing more on the bug dude.

  39. Hillary’s testifying live on cspan3

    1. Only on CSPAN 3 and not one of the more prevalent CSPANs?

  40. There may be an Obama Erotic Fan Fiction Novel coming out

    Here’s a brief description of the story line:

    “Drawn into the ancient Hawaiian spiritual world and into the exploration of their own deepest and most forbidden desires, will our leading couple be able to resist the guesthouse games that lay in store for them or help to finally lay a spirit to rest?”

    “Alone in their isolated beachfront guesthouse in the tropical paradise of Kailua, Hawaii, The Obamas are enjoying a holiday of a lifetime. But an unexplained visit from a ghost needing help sees our couple drawn into the ancient Hawaiian spiritual world and into the exploration of their own deepest and most forbidden desires.

    Whilst searching for clues to understand who this mysterious girl is that begs for the couple’s help, they uncover a number of rooms equipped to fulfill every type of erotic fantasy imaginable at the remote guesthouse they are staying at. But will our couple be able to resist the quest for sexual pleasure to help put the spirit to rest and bring about justice for a seventy year old tragedy? Or will they drown in the tides of history and their own passions?”

    1. Shreek and Tony may hurt themselves masturbating over that.

    2. I tried to write one, but kept throwing up. 🙁

      1. Lidocaine is your friend there, buddy. Suppresses the gag reflex.*

        *Things I learned watching TV Crime Dramas, in this case Bones

        1. Its okay, Goldwater, you’re a libertarian. If that’s what you had to do to get through your glory hole shifts, we don’t care. At least you were willing to work.

    3. It could be worse: it could be Michelle Obama erotic fanfic.

    4. Why a mysterious girl? Can’t wait for the Michelle lesbian scene.

      1. Can’t wait for the Michelle lesbian scene.

        Have you ever seen a coyote trying to get open an armadillo?

        1. Thanks for the imagery. No breakfast for me today.

          1. Loose weight the SugarFree way!

            1. So that’s what you do after HyR – hang out with friends of Ana and Mia

              1. The great cities of Anaheim and Miami have many friends.

                What’s it to ya, Kiwi?

                1. Kiwi? Fighting words, O Golden Shower

                  1. ifh, I am as scared of Australians as Burns is of Germans

                    1. how about Uncle Chop-Chop?

            2. It worked for me – lunch might be minimalist today.

        2. Wait, is Michelle the coyote or the clenched up armadillo. It matters!

          1. First one, then the other. Kale is also involved.

            1. Actually, arugula is the roughage of choice.

    5. Question,

      If someone made a gay porn film about a young Obama going on the low down, how long would it take before DOJ had them under arrest?

      1. I’m pretty sure a band of hipsters driven mad by white guilt would use an RPG on a Red Box under the cover of a protest.

    6. ” a number of rooms equipped to fulfill every type of erotic fantasy imaginable ”

      I picture Michelle throttling a stairmaster for some reason.

  41. In Honor of Roe V Wade, let’s shit on Jane Roe for leaving the plantation

    The 12 steps to become Jane Roe, by Jezebel:

    1. Be born (for the first time) and raised in Dallas by an abusive, alcoholic Jehovah’s Witness single mother.
    2. Drop out of school by 14, start working as a roller-skating carhop at 15, run off with and marry a customer who orders a “furburger” (he had her at furburger).
    3. Become pregnant, divorce your abusive husband, move back in with your mother and give her custody over your daughter.
    4. Do a lot of drinking and drugs, sleep with mostly women, but with enough men to become pregnant again and put your second child up for adoption.
    5. Continue to do a lot of drinking and drugs, continue to sleep with mostly women, but with enough men to become pregnant for a third time and decide you want an abortion.
    6. Since, abortion is only legal in six states and Texas isn’t one of them and you lack the funds to travel, become the plaintiff in the case Roe v Wade, which will legalize abortion in the United States.
    7. Meet Your girlfriend Connie and try to make a living off of being a pro-choice activist and speaker. Hang out with Gloria Allred and have NBC make a movie about you starring Holly Hunter. Write an autobiography called I Am Roe.


    1. 8. Meet evangelical minister Flip Benham, when he moves his anti-choice organization Operation Rescue in next door to the clinic you are working at. Become born-again during a televised baptism in a swimming pool.
      9. Become straight but continue to live with your former girlfriend (who you introduce as your aunt, godmother or cousin), found a nonprofit, Roe No More Ministry, and write a book called Won by Love. Try to make a living off of being an anti-choice activist and speaker.
      10. Convert to Roman Catholic after meeting Father Frank Pavone of the organization Priests for Life.
      11. Leave your girlfriend, I mean your aunt, godmother or cousin, when she has a stroke. (It’s the “Christian” thing to do.)
      12. Accept $1,000 to appear in a Florida television ad paid for by Randall Terry, the founder of Operation Rescue, who runs (unsuccessfully) for congress. In it, say, “Do not vote for Barack Obama…. He murders babies.”

      1. Remember, feminists like those at Jezebel are totalitarian fascists. That is all they are. They would think nothing of murdering Roe if they thought it would help their cause and they could get away with it. When the day comes that one of them is able to get into power and start killing and locking people up, they will be all for it.

      2. Gee, they left out the part about lying that you got pregnant by being gang raped by a group of black men.

        Because racist semen libels are a-ok if they advance the abortion agenda.

    1. For once, Americans are getting what they deserve. They elected the dumb bastard and didn’t bother to make sure he didn’t have Congress to stop him.

      1. Ahem. I didn’t elect any of these dumb bastards.

        1. Yeah, seriously. Something like 80% of Americans didn’t vote for these assholes.

      2. Good and hard, John

      3. I’m going to have to run the numbers during the next open enrollment, but paying the penaltax is going to be a better deal. especially in 2014.

        In 2014, the annual penalty will be $95 per adult and $47.50 per child, up to a family maximum of $285 or 1 percent of family income, whichever is greater.

        and with community rating and guarantee issue? why wouldn’t’ you decline coverage?

        1. Exactly. They are fucked. The whole thing was sold as a payoff to the insurance companies. The plan all along was to go back and raise the penaltax to absurd proportions to ensure people bought insurance. But now they can’t do that. Roberts only called it a penaltax because the price was low. If they raise it, the Supreme Court is likely to strike the whole thing down.

          1. I disagree; something like this happened with the income tax, and it turned out very differently.

            IIRC One of the questions during the SC hearing on the constitutionality of the tax had to do with the rates. The solicitor general argued that never would the rates rise above 8% and that only the highest incomes would ever be taxed. That apparently satisfied some of the judges into allowing the tax.

            10 years later the top marginal rate was well above 25%. 40 years later almost everyone was paying above 15%, some as high as 50%.

            And the SC didn’t consider any further challenges to its constitutionality.

            My guess is that the penaltax will never be challenged again (until the U.S. government craters).

            1. They passed a Constitutional Amendment authorizing the income tax. So whatever arguments that it was Constitutional before that were rendered moot.

          2. If they raise it, the Supreme Court is likely to strike the whole thing down.

            In our dreams! The Congress has unlimited taxing power. Who are we supposed to count on, sorry-ass John Roberts? Whatever threats and leverage the Obamites used on him before are still in effect.

        2. “I’m going to have to run the numbers during the next open enrollment, but paying the penaltax is going to be a better deal. especially in 2014.”

          That’s by design.

  42. My Little Ponies are real and I want one!

    1. Don’t be daft. Those are old pictures of Cher

      1. Look, ifh, I love you, but the Mail told me they were My Little Ponies and I will not listen to anyone who says otherwise.

        1. OK sweetie, they are real live (well, real dead by now) My Little Ponies. Just promise me you won’t play Ponies with the weird boys we all warned you about – no matter how nice their Ponies are

          1. Oh don’t worry, bronies are sick weirdos who have turned my pure childhood love into a creepy abomination. I mean, the new show has fuck all to do with the ponies I played with!

            1. They really are sick little fucks. There needs to be a line between childhood and adulthood. And adults who turn innocent childhood things into creepy adult things are about as sick as they come.

            2. **hands nicole juicebox and a Woobie**

            3. Hey my 10 year old son is a Brony.

              Seriously, it is his second favorite show after Pokemon and he actually plays My Little Ponies with his twin sister and our 6 year old.

        2. Ahem, Daily FAIL. Tow the Lion!

    2. No Fluttershy?

      To hell with this!

  43. http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..tid=pm_pop

    Peaceful abortion protestor arrested at inauguration. WAPO commentators get the full fascist on.

  44. OT: we finally got some snow here in Michigan (!). I’m loving the 4WD combined with snow tires – it’s like the white stuff doesn’t even exist.

    1. None of that helps with breaking.

  45. My wife read to me some diatribe a lefty friend of a friend of a friend posted on Facebook. It was about John Mackey’s libertarianish statements of late. The lefty said–and it appears this was utterly serious–that the government should seize and sell off Whole Foods’ assets in response. In response to what Mackey said. And yes, others crawled out of the woodwork to say “Right on!”

    1. Read the comments to the abortion article I posted above. Around 80% of the commentators think it would be okay if the guy had died at birth. They are not kidding. Liberals are getting increasingly dangerous and deranged. They have already gone well down the road of completely dehumanizing their opponents. It is just a matter of time and opportunity before they start murdering people.

      1. It is just a matter of time and opportunity before they start murdering people.

        It’s a good thing they’re not nearly as well armed as the people they hate the most.

        1. No, but the government goons they expect will do the dirty work are very well armed indeed.

    2. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Someone, somewhere, might have been persuaded by his speech. Or worse, offended by it.

      There’s a clip of Laibach on a music show on Slovenian TV in 1982, reading out their statements about art and politics. The presenter then said “Won’t someone come and repress these statements?” He at least had the excuse that he was whoring himself on a TV network run by a totalitarian government and had to toe the line. I often think of that when people make these sorts of statements, and wonder what their excuse is

    3. When Menino threatened to prevent Chick Fil A from opening shops in Boston because he didn’t like the owner’s stance on gay marriage, my proggie FB friends were all over it.

      When I contrasted Menino’s actions with Sen Joe McCarthy’s anti-communist blacklisting campaign – angry denials, then sullen silence.

      John is right – these guys would happily send us to concentration camps if ever the government proposes it.

      1. You can just see it coming. It has happened so many times in history. These fuckers are finally going to get the nerve and the ability to start locking people up and murdering people. And it will quickly get completely out of hand. And when it ends, all things no matter how horrible do end, they will tell the world it wasn’t their fault. That they all meant well and a few bad people just took things a little too far.

        1. There’s a great book titled Manhunter you should check out if ever you are looking for some light reading on a long flight. It was written by a pretty sketchy former U.S. Marshal.

          One of the stories involved nailing a Nazi war criminal involved in the Holocaust. While hunting the guy, he talked with a bunch of Latvian Nazi sympathizers who were saying things like “you shouldn’t judge us, you have no idea what it was like” and justified their actions as saving the world from communism.

          1. IIRC, he ended up tracking his target to some island outside the U.S. On the island, he formed an ad-hoc partnership with a KGB agent who knew who was who on th eisland and agreed to help him on this one issue to avenge those who fell in the Great Patriotic War. They tailed him to some ranch where the Russian pulls out a sniper’s rifle and is using the scope to surveil the guy. The Marshall started egging on the Russian (who had been a kid in WW II) to take a shot – until the Russian pulled the trigger and sent a bullet over the guy’s head, terrorizing him.

            Entertaining but very disturbing book.

      2. Why do you think they’re so desperate to disarm all of us? It’s the same exact reason every single time it happens.

      3. John is right – these guys would happily send us to concentration camps if ever the government proposes it.

        And standing precendence says that the federal government has the legal authority to do just that.

  46. Chinese factory workers revolt over two-minute time limit on toilet breaks:


    1. When you have to go wi, you have to wi.

      1. They go wi in Japan, the Chinese go pi.

        1. Nippon goes WII!

    2. Particularly the ones with swollen prostates

    3. It has recently come to our attention that employees are abusing the liberal breaks policy as outlined in section VT00733/D in Volume 18 of the Employee Handbook. As a result, Human Resources and Administration have come to an agreement on a reasonable time reduction. As of today, all bathroom breaks will be reduced from 2.37 minutes to 2.25 minutes

    4. Hell, it takes me two full minutes just to set up. Gotta get the phone books stacked up on the floor to put my feet on; I have to put fresh tape on the piece of broomstick that I bite down on; and I have to tape up my hands to ensure a good grip on the edge of the bowl. Only then can my constitutional begin in earnest.

      1. Are you including the call time to Facilities Management to come and de-hazmat the place?

        1. Are you including the call time to Facilities Management to come and de-hazmat the place?

          No, that’s usually afterward, when I’m in the ER getting stitched up.

  47. http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..97529.html

    Hillary is crying over Bengazi. I am sure that makes the people you left to die feel so much better that you are crying over the end of your political career.

    1. Nothing will happen to Hitlary. They won’t do jack about this. After this administration got away with fast and furious, they now know that they can do anything they want and nothing will be done about it. No one in this administration will ever be prosecuted for anything.

      Just watch, the shit that they pull over the next 4 years will make Bengazi and Fast and Furious look like nothing at all to even talk about.

      1. She won’t go to jail. But I think her political career and chances of being President are done.

        And yes, by 2016, there will have been so many horrible things and so many scandals that people won’t even remember Bengazi.

        1. No, it won’t. This will have 0 effect on her or her political career. By 2016 no one will even be talking about this, and Hillary will be appointed to some other high level position by whoever wins in 2016.

          Those in the highest ranks of our federal government have become completely unaccountable for anything, and we just let them get away with it. Because we want free shit, and that is all that matters now.

    2. Gee, and I thought she was practically on death’s doorstep. She looks and sounds reasonably healthy to me.

      1. That’s because she just drank the blood of 7 virgins this morning. You have to wait to see her in the evening after that wears off and she is hanging upside down from her perch again.

  48. Epi was right and I was wrong about the Federer-Tsonga match…barely.

  49. So, has anyone seen the latest New Girl yet and seen the awesomness of Julius Pepperwood?

    “Thin-Crust Pizza? No thanks, I’m from Chicago.”

    1. “Who are you? The doodle police?”

      1. Hmm, for some odd reason, I have this incredible urge to watch Cool World.

        Someone shoot me.

  50. “There’s only one Dick I’ll be eating on Australia Day,” says an elderly woman in a TV commercial that advertising authorities have banned from the airwaves Down Under.

    Produced by Dick Smith’s Aussie Grown Foods, the ad is a politically incorrect stab at humor, using the company’s name to make sexual pun after sexual pun.



    1. authorities have banned from the airwaves Down Under

      Is there anything that those nutcases have not banned yet? I think they are just southern limeys.

      1. but with better teeth and weather.

        If you thought that was bad, check out what our fun-lovin’ Government wants to do now

        1. broadening the definition of discrimination to include conduct that ‘offends’ and ‘insults’

          In other words, the best plan for a successful life is like this:

          1. Get a job and claim minority status through whatever means necessary, like umm, check the box for Native American.

          2. Say that someone insulted you, ‘hey that guy said Redskins, I am offended!’ Or even better if you are a woman, you just say, hey I went to work with my boobs hanging out and someone looked at me!

          3. Get huge tax payer funded damages settlement, and sit on ass for rest of life.

      2. At least the limeys still get to eat dick. Spotted dick even.

  51. Dotmap of every American and Canadian:


  52. Did you know eleven nations would rather you trade securities elsewhere?
    “11 EU countries get OK for financial tax”
    Yes, that degree of econ stupidity exists worldwide.

  53. Get a load of this: some of the terrorists at Benghazi were Egyptian, and also took part in the terrorist attack in Algeria as well.

    1. How long before one of these guys gets into the US and does something?

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