Civil Liberties

Brickbat: Tiny Bubbles

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Officials at Pennsylvania's Mount Carmel Area Elementary School suspended a 5-year-old kindergarten student for making terroristic threats. The girl allegedly threatened to shoot another girl and herself with a pink Hello Kitty soap bubble gun. The girl's family says police interrogated her for three hours without their knowledge after she made the "threat."

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  1. Should be interesting to see how that all turns out. Wow.

    http://www.Private-Net.tk

  2. soap bubble gun

    Soap bubble assault weapon.

    1. How many bubbles does that type of gun hold? That’s the question.

      1. High capacity liquid soap magazine? Dear God, she could have cleaned out the whole place without reloading!

        1. It would have helped if she actually had it with her. According to the article, she’d left it at home and was threatening to go on a bubble-rampage at some unspecified point in the future.

    2. go ahead, mock the school, you monsters. FACT: bubbles kill. Look at these two young victims, as the horror slowly dawns on them. Someone has to think of the children

      1. A shame. What did these children do to get The Tub?

      2. Good lord IFH, just because you love children and want to protect them is no reason to post child pornography!

        1. Sorry, I forgot that to you pretty much anything is arousing. Just be glad no camera can capture Warty doing a striptease to Lady Gaga, or that would be the next post

        2. My wife sent a picture of our son taking a bath to his grandparents last night. I expect the FBI to raid our home shortly.

          1. Your son must be very strong!

    3. The girl is Number Two, trying to catch Number Six.

      1. If Number Two had looked like that, Number Six might not have tried so hard to escape.

  3. Isn’t this outside the sphere of terroristic threats? On the surface, tension of an interrogation seems unnecessary. The police blew it. It’s opening the door to a lawsuit. Just floating some ideas here.

    (See if you can find all five!)

    1. it takes just one prick to ruin the fun

    2. Treating “surface, tension” as “surface tension,” I get 4.

      1. Only when you speak my words aloud will all become clear.

        1. Just tell him before his brain goes pop.

        2. Don’t doit! Its a diabolical plan to get people to mutter an eldritch incantation and summon lovecraftian horrors from the depths of space and time.

          1. I don’t know what just happened, but half of my coworkers have glowing green worms in their eyes and I think I can hear something like a bunch of snakes flopping around up in the ceiling.

            1. Yep, it’s Tuesday.

        3. interrogation = turgor?

          1. I don’t think those words are related. rogare is a root of “interrogate” but “turgor” comes from something else.

            1. I’m aware.. just trying to spot his fifth.

              1. It’s opening.

                Say it rather than reading it.

                It’s quite clever, which makes me think that Fist got help from his parents.

                1. If you slur your words like a slobbering drunk hooker fresh from a bukkake party, maybe. But it is Fist.

    3. (See if you can find all five!)

      Without Google:

      1) Sphere
      2) Surface
      3) Tension
      4) Blew
      5) Floating

      What do I win? (I hope nothing related to Hello Kitty or Palmolive…)

      Also, Lawrence Welk would be effervescent and foaming at the mouth with approval.-)

      1. Shit. Never mind. Well done, Fisty. Well done.

      2. Actually, the fifth is “etiquette”. It’s French for soap.

        Ha! Okay, you caught me. There is no French word for soap. Whiterun got it above.

  4. police interrogated her for three hours

    “Three hours”?! My kingdom for the transcript.

    “Once again, Miss Susie, if that’s your real name, where the fu, uh, where did you get the gun? Your allowance isn’t enough to buy it legally. And we know your fingerprints would be all over it, if only you hadn’t coated it with bubble solution during your vicious attacks!”

    1. and then they should have brought in the FBI to investigate the Hello Kitty / Japanese espionage angle

        1. I WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE RIGHT NOW

        2. Don’t go easy on them just ’cause they’re cute!

          Nice linky, Doc!

  5. The girl’s family says police interrogated her for three hours without their knowledge after she made the “threat.”

    Every parent needs to teach their children what to say to the cops. “I want to talk to my parents. I have nothing to say to you until I talk to my parents. I want to talk to my parents. Where are my parents. I’m not talking to you until I talk to my parents.”

    1. Yeah, this. A person has a right to an attorney during questioning; pretty damn sure a child should have a right to a parent and/or an attorney.

    2. “What would you say if I told you your parents are *dead*?”

    3. I had the opportunity to teach my sons this very lesson a few weeks ago, when a cop followed us for 40 minutes and then stopped me for no reason but that he was bored and I was about to leave his prowling area.

      I told them, never ever speak to a police officer, even if he asks you questions, unless I am there and have given you permission to speak.

      The darlings were perfectly silent (also, terrified) while Officer Dickwad gave me a warning and interrogated me about where’d I’d been, where I was going, where home was, who I was visiting, where’d I move from/to…

      I knew I didn’t have to answer at all, but gave monosyllabic responses just to avoid being yanked from my car and finger-raped in front of my children.

      1. Good thing your kids didn’t have a bubble-gun. He would have shot first and later be cleared as justifiable polize work.

      2. “…a cop…stopped me for no reason but that he was bored and I was about to leave his prowling area…”

        FYI – in my one* semi-serious encounter with the PoPo, I was arrested at the end of a police officers shift, who then proceeded to shackle me to a bench and watch Late-Night titty movies on TBS

        His boss eventually came by 2 hours later and told him to get me processed and locked up and for him to go the fuck home

        I later asked my lawyer (*former assistant DA to Rudy Giuliani) what that was all about, and he sighed, and explained…

        “close to 3/4 of all arrests happen at the end of a police officers shift. They spend their last hour cruising, desperately looking for ANYTHING that will give them an excuse for a stop, a search, or arrest, which will then require an additional hour or two of paperwork, allowing them to pad their paychecks by about 30% in overtime every month”

        This guy got the charges thrown out the second the judge *saw* him. Former city D.A. in small town court casts large shadow. As much as I hate lawyers… its good to have connections.

        (*well, actually the only time i was locked in an actual cell)

  6. Mount Carmel Area Elementary School suspended a 5-year-old kindergarten student for making terroristic threats

    Is the word, “terroristic” offically recognized by any *law*? or is it just a bullshit adjective that’s become promulgated by the media?

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