White House Staff No Longer So Thrilled With Petition Site

Secession petitions and popular pranks eroded the gloss

White House staffers have now reportedly come around to the fact that their petition website is just one big, dumb waste of time.

The "We The People" website, which allows everyday Americans to pester the Obama administration with nonsensical petitions calling for secession or the construction of a Star Wars-inspired orbital death cannon, now requires petitions to carry at least 100,000 signatures before they receive an official White House response.