Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck's Blueprint for a Self-Sufficient Theme Park in Texas

A TV host plans a utopia.

|

Utopian text of the day:

That's Glenn Beck outlining his vision of Independence Park, a sort of a survivalist EPCOT: a self-sufficient media center, expo park, ranch, and residential area, the latter designed in ways intended to break down class barriers and nourish a rich public life. Other plans for the private city include solar energy, underground roads, a learning center (not a school, because "schools are a thing of the past"), and the town's own "national archives," where the community will keep "the things and the ideas and the books and the papers that tell the truth." In the course of laying this out, the host also touches on the topics of Tesla, the Alamo, Beck's fear of cows, and a Fourth of July entertainment spectacular that Beck is cooking up called The Man in the Moon: An American Story (From the Moon's Perspective).

It's a melange of many ideas (not all of them "right-wing"), and the pitch alone is a great contribution to the American populist-utopian tradition. It is also utterly mad, of course. I'm always skeptical when someone thinks he and a committee of experts can plan an ideal community, and the precursors in the historical record suggest that even if Beck's park is built it will evolve in ways no planner can anticipate. Whatever winds up appearing under the name "Independence Park," you can be sure it'll be different from Beck's blueprint in countless ways.

Still, I'm all for mad plans, as long as they aren't compulsory and as long as they aren't done on the public dime. My personal vision of living freely does not entail moving to a theme park owned by a TV personality. (*) But it does have room for TV personalities who want to spend their money building theme parks, the weirder the better.

(* OK, maybe if it's Gene Scott or Ernie Kovacs. But not anyone else.)

NEXT: French Officials Predict Mali Intervention Will be Over Within Weeks

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. I got really blitzed and visited Heritage USA many years ago, which was Jim and Tammy Faye Bakkers’ suburban utopia/theme park. Surreal day. I think they had run out of money because it was half built.

    1. If memory serves they ran out of freedom, as Jim was charged and convicted for 24 counts of… fraud, I think? I don’t quite remember, as my attention at the time was fixed on a particularly lovely woman.

  2. What would your theme park look like? Mine would be an English country estate, think Gosford Park. Huge house, comfy furniture, horses, hounds, every conceivable form of firearm, huge fire places, enormous wine cellar, multiple fully stocked bars.

    1. It would be a topless all-you-can-eat buffet place.

      1. And Fist of the North Star would be on every TV.

      2. I would have lots of female staff and yes, they would be topless.

        1. And a gigantic kitchen for dressing and butchering all the game taken on the estate.

      3. With that Snorg Tee girl to the side of your comment?

        1. The Snorg Tee girls would definitely be on staff doing something.

      4. I’ll make my own buffet place! With hookers!

        In fact, forget the buffet.

        1. Eager amateurs are more to my tastes.

    2. Something between the original 1955 Tomorrowland and the 1933 NY World’s Fair. If there is a residential component the covenants will mandate California Modern.

      1. “1939 NY World’s Fair”

        ’33 was Chicago and not as cool

        1. The cool Chicago one was in the early 1900s. That is where they built the midway.

          1. They had hashish smoking in the Turkish Pavillion, Krupps had a huge artillery exhibit, the kudzu plant was introduced to North America and the penny-squishing machine made its first appearance.

            1893 might have been the best World’s Fair but I prefer a later aesthetic

          2. They had hashish smoking in the Turkish Pavillion, Krupps had a huge artillery exhibit, the kudzu plant was introduced to North America and the penny-squishing machine made its first appearance.

            1893 might have been the best World’s Fair but I prefer a later aesthetic

    3. are you taking deposits?

    4. An opium den staffed by naked women?

    5. Shit, I’m going to John’s theme park. He has my number. At least, as long as there’s clotted cream.

      1. Some day when I hit the mega millions or finally hit oil on my family’s land or invest in the right start up, I will build my theme park and we can have a Hit and Run comentariot in for a weekend shooting party.

      2. Heck, I’d work behind the bar, just to be there.

    6. A theme park without hookers and blow? *yawn*

      1. You can’t have those things on an English country estate?

        1. You didn’t specifically mention them! It’s like an unwritten libertarian rule to mention hookers and blow!

    7. Machine guns, heavy excavation equipment and tacos.

      1. Fire trucks?

    8. Mine would be an English country estate, think Gosford Park. Huge house, comfy furniture, horses, hounds, every conceivable form of firearm, huge fire places, enormous wine cellar, multiple fully stocked bars.

      And on weekends, select members hunt the most dangerous game…

      1. I would have to build it in the Virginia Mountains outside Washington so there would always be a supply of such game in needing of shooting.

        1. take over the Greenbrier.

          1. Perfect! Then we can marry John’s English country house murder mystery aesthetic to Rex Stout and have, basically, nicole’s ultimate dream vacation.

            1. it’s got everything. casino, falconry, spa, rafting, and a fallout shelter so we can ensure continuity of libertopia

      2. For $10M, cash, half upfront, I will set you up to hunt Paul Krugman through the woods of North Florida, tomorrow. Granted, he’s not the prime specimen of the most dangerous game, but…

        1. Actually, scratch tomorrow. It’ll probably take me 2 days to get him from NY back to FL. But definitely by the weekend.

    9. Id own all the property and force all tenants to adhere to a dress code.

      1. Morning wear, tuxedos, top hats and monocles? Walking sticks/sword canes too, I hope? And smoking jackets…though I hope the hipsters haven’t usurped that along with pipes.

  3. The government is going to be real busy with domestic drone strikes once all these compounds get built.

    1. and lefties all over the place are hoping for exactly that. twisted fuckers.

        1. SamAdam
          12:08 PM EST
          Neither of these libertarian utopias has a self sustaining food, water, or transporation infrastructure. They depend on the rest of us for food, clean water, air travel, and military protection.

          Like their ideology, these plans aren’t thought through.

          ROADZZ!!!!

          1. christ. i pushed back and said, hey, they’re not hurting anybody … and got this as a response.

            “Their stifled progress and limitations of understanding means that resources are wasted – if they don’t want to contribute to the greater good, then perhaps they should keep out of the discussions.

            Its called community for a reason, its about advancing not stagnating or regressing”

            1. That person is seriously evil.

              1. well, i’m glad that somebody agrees with me on that point. the problem is that I seem to be having that response with alarming frequency

                1. It’s also just nonsense. “[P]erhaps they should keep out of the discussions”–what discussions? They’re having their own discussion. “Its [sic] called community for a reason”–what is? They don’t want to be in a community with you; that’s the whole point. And guess what–you don’t want to be in a community with them either. Win-win, buddy.

                  But no, because CONTROL.

                  1. cognative dissonance is what passes for “thinking” in the progressive ‘community’

                    They frequently spout these sorts of “If you dont like taxes then you shouldnt’ get any of the wonderful benefits of them”

                    When the libertoid responds, “Fine! I’ll be going now…” the Progtard quickly changes the tune and declares that the person is “depriving” their fellow man of their ‘contributions’ and should be not merely *shunned*, but also punished for their unwillingness to play along with the ‘community’

                    They also talk glowingly of their own ‘open mindedness’, but are the fastest to declare their opponent’s positions ‘disrespectful of the majority’ and demand that others speech be circumscribed in the name of *fairness*. “Selfish speech” which fails to genuflect to the state is *unreasonable* and “shouldn’t be allowed to be part of the discussion”

                    Did I say dissonance? Its something closer to a perpetual hum which prevents progs from any possible self-criticism.

    2. A German company has made an anti drone weapon

      http://insomniaclibertarian.bl…..y.html?m=0

  4. “That’s Glenn Beck outlining his vision of Independence Park”

    He’s already got stiff competition from Dollywood.

    Actually, what he’s describing is kind of like the city of Nashville.

    “I’m always skeptical when someone thinks he and a committee of experts can plan an ideal community, and the precursors in the historical record suggest that even if Beck’s park is built it will evolve in ways no planner can anticipate.”

    Now that Glen Beck apparently wants to style himself a libertarian, maybe he’s heard something about the FSP and seasteading?

    1. Maybe he can’t swim and hates the cold.

    2. Dollywood is in Pigeon Forge, near Knoxville, in the eastern time zone, 3 hours east of Nashville. Opryland is in Nashville, in the central time zone.

      Like Dolly, Tennessee is blessed with two big man made amusement features.

      1. Right, and they’re basically both already doin’ what he seems to want to do.

        I’m sure Nashville even has a library!

        Maybe he’s really coming around as a libertarian, though, ’cause whatever it is that makes someone a “real” libertarian, fantasizing about creating a Libertopia, at some point, seems to be one of the key steps along the way.

  5. Why this constant drive to fill up Texas countryside with development? Why doesn’t he build his goofy park in California or Oregon or something?

    1. Why doesn’t he build his goofy park in California or Oregon or something?

      That’s a trick question, isn’t it?

    2. Why this constant drive to fill up Texas countryside with development?

      We are a very long way from filling up Texas, trust me.

      1. People I meet from Texas, unless they are from Dallas, Houston, Austin, or maybe Galveston or San Antonio, tell me they drive hours any weekend they can to go somewhere where there a things to do. In that movie poor little Ellen Page had to get on a bus just to find some roller derby.

      2. We are a very long way from filling up Texas, trust me.

        Any drive on I-10 west of Kerrville will confirm this statement in its entirety.

        Jesus, is West Texas empty.

        1. I have driven all over this state doing oilfield work. There’s vast swaths of mostly empty land once you get outside the major metros.

          I can never figure out where those people buy groceries.

  6. Damn Reason…

    …from Stone to Beck.

    Nut-job day?

  7. So those article, for those of you like me on iPad, has 3 videos, probably from the Blaze, that must use adobe flash. So we can’t see them as we could a YouTube, reasonTv etc.

    1. I’d blame Steve Jobs. Or yourself for buying an Apple product.

  8. Beck-istan beckons.

  9. Between Schlitterbahn, Fiesta Texas, and Six Flags, Texas has all the theme parks it needs Well, unless he’s talking about bringing AstoWorld back. Still miss that place.

  10. Hello reason. What you guys think of VDare com?

    1. Fuck you.

      That’s what I think about VDare.

    2. Liberty| 1.14.13 @ 1:06PM |#

      What you guys think of VDare com?

      I didn’t realize we should be thinking of VDare.com

      Come back in 10years and I’ll have formed a thesis maybe

    3. You’re asking cosmos what we think of a white nationalist, anti-immigration site? The answer should be obvious.

  11. Who is Glenn Beck?

    1. Famous guitar player.

      1. I thought he was an astronaut

  12. I’m really getting sick of mouthfoaming socons and neocons coopting the “libertarian” label for political benefit as long as their preferred political party is in the minority.

  13. By the way, little fracking liar Matt Damon’s next movie, Elysium, is an attack on seasteading, Gatl’s Gulch, libertarian communities

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1535108/

    No word on whether Cuba or Tehran funded it.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.