A.M. Links: Obama to Select Hagel for Defense, Brennan for CIA, Clinton Ready to Testify on Benghazi, Bank of America Settles with Fannie Mae for $3.6 Billion


  • this much hope

    President Obama is expected to announce Chuck Hagel as his next nominee for Secretary of Defense and John Brennan as his next choice for CIA director.

  • The State Department says Hillary Clinton is healthy enough and ready to testify about the 9/11 Benghazi terrorist attack. She's officially back at work today.
  • Bank of America will pay $3.6 billion to Fannie Mae as part of a settlement over mortgage loans.
  • Google's executive chairman arrives in North Korea.
  • Syrian President Bashar Assad blamed nearly two years of civil war in his country on "enemies of God and puppets of the West."
  • Malala Yousafzai, a teen activist shot in the head by Taliban gunmen in Pakistan, was released from Queen Elizabeth Hospital in England this weekend.

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  1. She’s officially back at work today.

    That 3AM caller has been on hold for a month.


  2. Sen Rand has some family trouble.


    1. The Pauls don’t do well in airports.

    2. What’s more shameful is that he apparently got sloppy drunk off of airplane-portioned booze.

      1. The newspaper quotes Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Lt. Blake Hollar as saying it’s possible Paul was served alcohol on the flight from Lexington, Ky., to Charlotte.

        We can’t expect flight attendants to be on the look out for terrorists AND underage drinkers.

    3. If Rand had balls, he’d say the 21-year-old drinking age is evil, infantilizes our children, and that by definition, anybody who supports infantilizing our children doesn’t care about them.

      1. Not to mention infantilizing legal adults for 3 years.

        1. We’re all infantilized throughout our lives by the state. Some seem to like it.

          1. And want to try to infantilize the rest of us.

          2. If it doesn’t involve diapers and breast feeding, I’m against it.

    4. If you’re old enough to join the army, you’re old enough to buy booze.

      1. If you’re responsible enough to earn enough money to pay for booze, then you should be able to buy booze, regardless of age.

        1. All the girls and boys with lemonade stands will be glad to hear this.

          1. Once they get out of jail for violating city licensing and health and safety ordinances.

          2. If the parents don’t like it, they can make the kids pay room and board first…

    5. I don’t understand how this is possible. Our nanny state betters keep telling us that when we make things illegal, people will not do them. It’s only when we make the bad things they don’t like legal will people just go off and act all crazy.


    6. You mean the notorious anti-semite? http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s…..7-06-13-36

  3. Kids told to keep clothes on as police keep watch for paedophiles at Nude Olympics


    1. South Coast police have advised organisers of the Sunday, January 20, event to ensure all children are wearing bottoms while taking part in any events, including the children’s sack race and treasure hunt.

      Nothing stops a pedophile like a pair of shorts.

  4. President Obama is expected to announce Chuck Hagel as his next nominee for Secretary of Defense…

    Obama better get gay married himself to make this one up to the activists.

    1. He’s just being all bi-partisany and collegial! Hope! Change! YAY!

      1. Chuck Hagel, Defense Bagel.

    2. Hagel had the audacity to say that Bush was full of shit on Iraq.

      #1 rule of GOP Club = March in Lockstep.

      1. That’s also the #1 rule of Team Blue Club.

      2. and yet, the surge did exactly what it was supposed to do. So, Hagel was wrong, kinda like Biden which seems a good career path for Dem pols.

        1. The surge did nothing. Iraq is still violent and we left anyway.

          1. The surge did nothing. That’s why Obummer copied the strategy in Afghanistan. Just like Gitmo. Just like the WoD. etc. He is Bush 3 on so many things. If you hated Bush, you must logically hate Obama. Unless you are a racist, of course.

            1. “If you hated Bush, you must logically hate Obama. Unless you are a racist, of course.”

              Naah. Shreek’s just dumber than rocks.

          2. The surge did nothing.

            Yeah, I was on the border of Sadr City for the surge. You couldn’t be more wrong.

      3. Even worse, he claimed to be a United States Senator, not a Senator from Israel. That is what got the NeoCons up in arms.

        1. Fuck off, Mallory. We give shit loads of aid to everyone. I’d cut it ALL out. You want to cut U.S. aid to Israel? So do the Israeli settlers. But implying that senators who favor Israeli aid have sold their allegiance to a foreign power is bullshit McCarthyism.

          Virtually ALL congressmen of both parties favor U.S. aid to(control of) Israel. Unless you believe in magical/evil JOO powers that make senators suddenly do the bidding of their JOO taskmasters.

          You thought you were clever chiming in with your “brave” anti-Semitic comment? Fuck off again. They miss you back on Info-Wars, and Lew Rockwell misses having your balls in his mouth.

      4. Still waiting for my Oil Dividend that isn’t powered by increased domestic production.

      5. #1 rule of GOP Club = March in Lockstep.

        And yet, the GOP Senators are generally opposing the Hagel nomination.

        Democrat projection is fun!

  5. Bank of America will pay $3.6 billion to Fannie Mae as part of a settlement over mortgage loans.

    Little did banks know that they would be the insurance behind Fannie Mae’s promise to buy sub prime loans.

    1. No, Fannie Mae had higher loan standards than Countrywide/BoA did but they got caught peddling the shitty paper to the GSE’s anyway.

      It is wingnut myth that the GSE’s were set up to be the trashbin for sub-prime.

      1. It’s a wingnut myth that your mom doesn’t have sex with dead farm animals.

        1. Wingnuts in unison “Banks were FORCED to loan money to deadbeats!”.

          1. The proper word is coerced. But, then again, English isn’t your strong suit. Neither is reasoned thought.

            1. The English language, as well as the concepts of logic and reason, are incomprehensible to it because it is a sock.

              1. One that can stiffly walk all on its own.

                1. A mobile “happy sock”?! Ewwwww.

            2. As someone who worked at a bank during the mortgage meltdown, this is true and often overlooked.

              1. So it’s YOUR fault.

                WIIIIITCH! BURN HOLLYWOOD!!!

                1. Can I save Mila Kunis first, before the burning?

                  1. Please do.

      2. It is wingnut myth that the GSE’s were set up to be the trashbin for sub-prime.

        The may not have been expressly set-up for that reason, but they filled the role admirably.

          1. I do really wish we had a decent “sharpening stone” statist to argue with. Unfortunately we get these loser trolls.

            1. There really aren’t any. As soon as you start destroying their pathetic points they ALL turn into this.

  6. Men. Underpants. Cars. It’s a calendar!

    1. There were men in those pics??

      1. well, males. This one’s a bit skinny but the chest rug works for me

        1. If you two harpies are done drooling, can we get back to looking at the proper sex as pieces of meat?

        2. Yeah, he’s not bad. needs to lose the fur thing and get a hair cut and we’re good to go!

          the cars were kind of awesome, though.

          1. (fur thing meaning that woman’s jacket, not his chest hair)

            1. For a second I thought you were an impostor and the real Kristen was in trouble. Good thing you cleared that up.

    2. OK, what the hell was that I just looked at, I mean other than some very bizarre comedy?

  7. The Education of John Boehner
    Leverage for the next clash: GOP willingness to let the spending sequester take effect.

    What stunned House Speaker John Boehner more than anything else during his prolonged closed-door budget negotiations with Barack Obama was this revelation: “At one point several weeks ago,” Mr. Boehner says, “the president said to me, ‘We don’t have a spending problem.’ ”


    The president’s insistence that Washington doesn’t have a spending problem, Mr. Boehner says, is predicated on the belief that massive federal deficits stem from what Mr. Obama called “a health-care problem.” Mr. Boehner says that after he recovered from his astonishment?”They blame all of the fiscal woes on our health-care system”?he replied: “Clearly we have a health-care problem, which is about to get worse with ObamaCare. But, Mr. President, we have a very serious spending problem.” He repeated this message so often, he says, that toward the end of the negotiations, the president became irritated and said: “I’m getting tired of hearing you say that.”

    1. So either ;

      A. Obama is delusional or a simpleton who cant grasp the full scope of our problems


      B. He realizes that the most leverage he can get over us is to monopolize control of the healthcare system. By decrying it as our biggest problem gives him an excuse to seize control of it.

      Hmmmm. I am gonna lean towards B with a dash of A thrown in.

      1. Can’t he be both?

        1. Yes, it’s big pot of A and B.

          1. He doesn’t give a fuck about A or B. It’s “Fuck You” and nothing else.

      2. You forgot C) He’s professional politician whose job depends on spending OPM.

      3. I’m not buying A and never have. The man is not stupid; he is simply a committed ideologue who does not view the world through the same lens that his predecessors used. He could give a shit about the debt, the deficit, unemployment, or anything else that does not involve the expansion of govt control over people’s lives.

        Take B with a healthy dash of he remains in campaign mode because it is all he knows. His whole life has been a zero sum game: he agitates for one point of view against another and compromise is never an option.

    2. The irony is that Obama isn’t completely off-base–the cost of medical care IS a major problem and IS driving government debt, consumer debt, and negatively impacting consumer spending. Federal spending on healthcare has risen at 9% a year since 1980 and now costs the same as the DoD–and with the baby boomers retiring that number is going to get worse.

      The problem is that his signature legistlation does nothing to correct the imbalances and monopolies that exist in the system. It doesn’t limit insurance coverage (both public and private sector programs) to catastrophic care only. It forces businesses above a certain threshold of employees and working hours to provide health insurance coverage. It doesn’t mandate open pricing of healthcare services at hospitals, which would introduce competition for basic preventative healthcare procedures. It doesn’t limit liability payouts. And thanks to the ever-increasing cost of tuition, doctors are entering the profession with a mortgage’s worth of debt before they’ve even established a professional practice.

      1. As Karl Denninger pointed out yesterday, when you nerf the impact of insurance in the payment of medical procedures, costs can drop by as much as 80%. But no one in DC is brave enough to actually propose something radical by re-implementing a cash-based, competitive healthcare system because crony capitalist insurance companies and entitled oldsters don’t want to give up their gubmint cheese. In the end, their selfishness is bankrupting us and future generations because they don’t want to admit that math trumps their feelings.

  8. Megan Fox is a geek.

    1. I know you dig her sarc, but I’m just cashed out on her.

      Like the lernean hydra, (at least) two babes have spawned to take her place in my (becoming more and more inviting) fantasy life.

      1. I have to make do with what the DM gives me.

        1. Testify to my dorkiness: Upon reading “DM” I thought Dungeon Master, not Daily Mail. Sometimes I really hate myself.

          1. you’re not the only one.

          2. Worse, I immediately thought “dominatrix madame”…..

            1. No, Dungeon Master is worse. Which, sadly, is also what I thought.

          3. I thought Diabeetus Mellitus.

            1. And I proclaim myself Dork Supreme for always reading DM as “Drum Major” (pipe band variety).

              PM = Pipe Major
              DS = Drum Sergeant

              #WINNING #LosingLikeADork

            2. Is Wilford from the Ukraine, Groove? I would have guessed he was an Okie…

          4. me too


        2. Yer all a bunch of dorks.

    2. Toe thumbs.

      1. There’s a guy on my bus with toe-thumbs. He uses them to work his iPad, which he uses to read the news and exercise his toe-thumbs. It’s disgusting.

    3. Her decision to join the site came hours after ‘RIP Megan Fox’ was trending, but she made no mention of the web death hoax.

      We know how to kill them people! “Just don’t look; just don’t look!”

  9. White Trash tv!

    1. Everyone loves a good train wreck.

    2. Isn’t that basically all of TLC these days?

      1. Sort of. I think of TLC as “The Modern Circus Freaks” channel.

  10. Humiliating Omegas For The Greater Good: Hugo Gives You Permission To Be A Dick
    …In profiling a website known as The Nice Guys of OK Cupid, in which hapless Omegas and Deltas (and others) who have put up a profile on OK Cupid as self-described “nice guys” are held up to shame, ridicule, and bullying for the temerity of wanting to get laid….

    1. My Alpha Male Squeeze cleaned my kitchen this weekend. I think I need to figure out how to take this relationship to the next level…

      1. I think it involves him carrying your purse while you shop for shoes and flirt with the shoe salesman.

        1. I think it involves him carrying your purse while you shop for shoes and flirt with the shoe salesman.

          Wait? There are straight women’s shoe salesmen?

          1. If Married with Children taught me anything then yes, but they only get to service the fat chicks.

            1. One thing I could never figure out is how the Bundys could afford to live in a house that big, in Chicago, on a shoe salesman’s salary.

              I mean, Al buying new underwear every 10-15 years will only save you so much money.

          2. Dude, that used to be like the KEY job to get. See: Al Bundy. Or Ted Bundy, I always get them confused.

            It may have changed, I don’t know I haven’t been to a women’s shoe store in, well, ever.

            1. Unless you’re buying Farragamo in-store, there’s no such thing as a shoe salesman anymore. You’re lucky if you can find any employees on the sales floor in a typical DSW.

              Flirting with the firemen that are disrobing after wrapping up a call in your neighborhood, however….

              1. Proof that women are just as shallow and sex-obsessed as they think we men are.

                1. Probably more so. Most men I know have standards higher then “OMG HE”S IN A UNIFORM!!!!11!!!!!”

                  1. Most men I know have standards higher then “OMG HE”S IN A UNIFORM!!!!11!!!!!”

                    Based on most “cheerleader” pics Ive seen on the internet, know they dont.

              2. Flirting with the firemen that are disrobing after wrapping up a call in your neighborhood, however….

                The best thing you can do for them is to convince them to get off the teat and get rid of their hero complex.

              3. Flirting with the firemen that are disrobing after wrapping up a call in your neighborhood, however….

                Showed up to a bar I don’t usually go to w/ my gf a week or so before Christmas and there were all of these — how to say it — B-list women, either were never A material or had gone slightly long in the tooth. We couldn’t figure out WTF was going on until we got inside. Firemen signing the local Firemna’s calendar. There was so much goddamned estrogen in the air, I thought my tits were gonna give milk.

                1. So it was like a 50 Shades of Grey convention.

                2. Firemna?

                  Is that like a hot coffee enema?

          3. There are straight women’s shoe salesmen?

            Foot fetishists prize it as a job.

            1. Rex Ryan just perked up somewhere in NY/NJ.

              1. Dude has a tattoo of his wife in a Sanchez jersey. He’s a sick fuck.

      2. I believe it involves doing things unmentionable in a family-oriented site like this…..

      3. Cook him a steak in your clean kitchen. Show him how much you appreciate it. Then, ruffie him and drive him to the nearest cheap wedding chapel.

        1. Taking notes…

          1. Three-way with your hot sorority sister. It’s the only way to save the relationship.

          2. Steak and BJ Day is only 2 months away.

          3. Taking notes…

            Here is a possible template. Just checking my E-mail real quick and got my quickie REASON fix.

            Merry Christmas all!

            1. Wow. Just wow. You got your very own crazy urology lady. Which could make quite a good song title

              1. Read the rest of the thread.-D

                1. Do you view her as an equal?

    2. Even funnier to me was seeing this reposted by a guy I know on FB who is always bitching about his data life and how women don’t call him back.

    3. I’m sure those guys are pretty sad but seriously, being a dick doesn’t make you a badass ALPHAMALE!!!! There is so much more to being a man.

      1. Seriously, probably the best thing I’ve read on the subject. tl;dr version: “Nobody gives a shit how nice you are on the inside. If you can’t be interesting and transparent enough for other people to see how nice you are, its your own fucking fault. Also, coffee is for closers.”

        1. Oh, I agree with that. My point is that there are men and then there are men who run around pretending to be men.

        2. Thanks for the tldr version, since I wasn’t going to click through to multiple pages for a Cracked article.

          1. I’m glad I’m not the only one who hates multiple page online articles.

          2. Jesus, two whole pages? I get the slideshow hate, but a whole 2nd page?

        3. That’s a brilliant (and funny) piece. True story.

        4. That’s pretty good. You don’t need to be a dick. You just need to be useful. As a decidedly non-alpha male and (usually) non-dick, I fortunately figured this out a long time ago.

      2. The main issue, which most feminized males have trouble understanding, is that women are attracted to confidence. Unfortunately, a lot of confident men happen to be jerks these days because society’s made it a point to emasculate men from an early age and try to make them like women. So a lot of the men who reject this programming end up becoming the yard apes that feminists expect them to be.

        Hollywood’s convinced way too many nerds that real life is just like the movies, and that when they get to their 10-year reunion, they’ll be fucking supermodels on their Lear jet while the UGH VAPID JOCKS will all be working at the car wash, instead of the more likely outcome that the nerd will be a pathetic brony whose life is comprised of video games and porn rather than human interaction.

  11. Julianne Hough. Yum.

    1. This older guy I know REALLLLLY lusts after her, but pronounces her name Julianne Hew, instead of Huff.

      So I don’t think I could.

      Maybe if she dyed her hair and changed her name.

      1. This older guy I know

        That’s just a euphemism for yourself, isn’t it? :-p

        1. No! My diction is impeccable!

    2. Seacrest being with her is almost as big a surprise as when the KY Lt Governor knocked up Miss America.

      In both cases, I think everyone assumed they were gay.

  12. Hot for teacher!

    1. She’s a cutie, and really doesn’t look out of place in those pictures.

      Also, I don’t feel tardy.

    2. Jesus. How come the cute little blonde teacher at my high school wasn’t into fucking 17 year olds? Also, she looks great for being twice those kids’ age.

    3. “In South Carolina, the age of consent is 16.”

      Then what’s the problem?

      And she can’t have been that happily married.

    4. My kid’s kindergarten teacher is WAY better looking than this one. If I were a bad man, I’d fuck her sideways.

      1. The best thing you can do for her is to convince her to get off the teat and get rid of her martyr complex.

        Oh wait – you’re not thinking of libertarian uptopia when looking at her?

        1. She’s a private school teacher, so no teat involved. At least not that of the state.

          That said, I do NOT like her whole “community learning” teaching style. My kid isn’t a good eater. He never has been. He will only eat a small handful of foods, and even then the conditions must be perfect. Yet she still tries to inform me that he isn’t setting a good example for his classmates because he won’t eat everything on his plate.

          The next time I hear this shit from her, I’m going straight to the “my child isn’t here to set an example for other kids” line of argument. Fuck that.

          1. I can’t wait for RBSV to be of school age so I can deal with all this bullshit.

          2. WTF is that “eat everything on your plate” crap in school anyway?

            I was a small, almost emaciated kid growing up, and my late Mother used to get the same complaint about me all the time. Mom was morbidly obese, and she used to tell the teachers that I was discouraged from eating everything on my plate at home (and hence said teacher needed to back the hell off) because her kid isn’t a goose and force feeding produces fat kids.

            Teachers didn’t give me a lot of shit in school.

            1. WTF is that “eat everything on your plate” crap in school anyway?

              If they don’t eat everything, it’s “wasting” food, or some such shit.

    5. Good thing the brought in the Forest Acres PD on this one. I’m pretty the FAPD is just two fat guys who enjoy flirting with the undergrad baristas at Starbucks.

      1. Imagine how much fapping material they got from this one.

  13. New York cops are pissed that ‘get out of jail free’ union cards are selling on eBay.

    1. Police union leaders and elected officials say they want an investigation carried out and are looking for a way to stop the online card sales.

      New York Republican Councilman Dan Halloran of Queens said he fears the cards could end up with terrorists or criminals.

      He must mean criminals who aren’t related to cops, because who else is using these things as ‘get our of jail free’ cards if not someone who committed a crime?.

    2. ‘It’s a way for a police officer to vouch for another person,’ City Councilman Peter Vallone Jr. told the Post. ‘That type of recommendation shouldn’t be available to the highest bidder.

      That type of recommendation shouldn’t be available to anyone. Who the fuck cares if a police officer can “vouch” for someone? The law is the law, and everyone should be equally subject to the law. If the unions, the NYPD, or even Mayor Bloomberg had any integrity, they would immediately stop the practice of issuing and honoring these cards.

      Once again, we see the ruling class and their contempt for the peasantry.

    3. New York Democratic Councilman Dan Garodnick of Manhattan said he thinks the cards should be eliminated completely to avoid ethical breaches.
      ‘Our traffic laws should not be enforced with winks and nods,’ he told the Post. ‘I don’t know which is worse, the existence of a get-out-of-jail-free card or the fact that the cards are being hawked on the Internet.’

      A little sanity.

  14. classic NYT:

    Health Insurers Raise Some Rates by Double Digits

    Health insurance companies across the country are seeking and winning double-digit increases in premiums for some customers, even though one of the biggest objectives of the Obama administration’s health care law was to stem the rapid rise in insurance costs for consumers.

    1. thank you all for my wife’s “free” birth control. stopped by the pharmacy yesterday and had my cash ready for the co-pay.

      1. No problem! Just doing my part to reduce the worlds supply of hockey fans.

        Also, this was totally unintended and unforeseeable!

        1. Try all you like, I know how to put one past the goalie.

          1. You just have to know how to dangle.

          2. Just make sure you’re lined up on the five hole.

    2. Yes.

      Because putting everyone who didn’t have insurance on an insurance plan, yet not making them pay for said insurance plan, is EXACTLY what I think when I think of cost cutting.

    3. At the meeting to discuss ourplans for ’13, the insurance rep ended the meeting by stating there was absolutely nothing in Obamacare that does anything to lower health care costs.

  15. Woman uses pistol to protect family. Some of the commenters would rather she died with a phone in her hand than live with a gun in her hand.

    1. and others say this:

      Kudos to this mom for doing what she had to do. But this story also illustrates why limiting a weapon’s ammo capacity is wrong-headed. The lady emptied the cylinder of her .38 into this guy, and he was still a threat. She would not have had this problem if she’d been shooting a semi-auto with, say, a 15-round magazine.

      1. Eh. I’m of two minds. If you aren’t shooting straight, no amount of ammo will help you… As I found out yesterday when I took my .40 to the range and found out that either my eyes or the sights have changed in the 3 years that piece was locked away in a gun safe I couldn’t get open. I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn from 30 feet. (Or 15). On the other hand, maybe she was just getting dialled in, in which case another 9 shots would’ve been great.

        1. She hit him with five out of six in the face and neck

          1. I got the impression he was climbing a ladder into the attic, where she was hiding. so that might have been the only target. popped his head into the attic and got shot. however, i can’t figure out how you survive that

            1. Maybe they’re counting the bullets that grazed him as hits too.

            2. Exactly.

            3. It really depends on where in the face she hit him…

              If she hit him in the lower face, and the bullets didn’t reach the brainstem, he’d be really badly hurt, but still conscious.

              Most people who die from gunshots don’t immediately drop dead, but die from blood loss after the fact.

              1. The dude was stable 30 minutes later and conscious the whole time. I know headshots aren’t always fatal, but you’d thing repeated clanging of bullets off your skull/jaw/neck would be enough to cause unconsciousness from the force alone.

          2. These derringers are weak!

            Powerful weak.

        2. Screw the shooting – I wanna know how you finally got the safe open after all this time.

          1. Yes. I am beginning the pistol acquisition process this weekend and wonder if a bio-metric safe is a good option for storage once I finally get the damn thing?

          2. Turns out that most electronic pistol safes are prone to having the battery pack come loose when dropped from more than 1″. While mine fails locked, it has an external attachment for a 9V battery that will open it with the manufacturer’s code. But only if the internal battery is dead or disconnected. Hooray for the internet which taught me that dropping the bitch from six inches would fix my problem.

      2. But this story also illustrates why limiting a weapon’s ammo capacity is wrong-headed. The lady emptied the cylinder of her .38 into this guy, and he was still a threat. She would not have had this problem if she’d been shooting a semi-auto with, say, a 15-round magazine.

        This is exactly my argument (aside from the general message of personal liberty). Why should I be legally handicapped while protecting my home under the color of law? In a gun fight, one can’t have too many bullets. Nor should I be forced to acquiesce to a criminal because Feinswine said I can’t have more than 10 rounds.

        Fuck her and her guns restrictions. I won’t ask anyone’s permission to have the equipment I could use in the event I might need to defend my home.

        1. If she had her way anyone who defends their home and family would face life in prison while the burglar gets a slap on the wrist.

          1. Because, according to her “thinking”, I’d be the violent thug while the robber would be a victim of society.

            1. Progressive liberals do not understand the difference between self defense and vigilante justice.

              In their mind there is absolutely no difference between using a weapon to defend yourself from a bad guy doing bad things, and hunting the guy down a week later to shoot him in the back.

              They see no difference at all between those two scenarios.

              In both cases someone other than government is using force, and that cannot be tolerated.

  16. Google’s executive chairman arrives in North Korea.

    Isn’t that just one of Kim Jung Un’s many titles?

    1. Dunno, I’ll Bing it.

    2. Google’s executive chairman arrives in North Korea.

      Someone lost an office dare and had to use Apple Maps.

  17. Justin Bieber’s pal, Lil Twist, may be giving ‘Boyfriend’ singer a bad rap

    To go with his bad singing?

    Also: why on earth would a rapper name themselves “lil” anything much less something that is a slang term for a girl?!

    1. Oh my god, dude. You never listen to mainstream, popular rap music nowadays? It’s got more homoerotic undertones than Top Gun. There is more gay double entendre than an MLB radio broadcast. Why do you think the young males wear their pants waist at their knees, exposing their buttocks protected only by colorful underwear? Signalling, dude. The message is, “I’m rough trade, come take me from behind.” The infantilization of their names is an acceptable substitute for the feminization of the artist. I have an informative brochure entitled So You Didn’t Know Rap Was Gay? E-mail me your address and I’ll send you a copy.


  18. Das Kombat
    The Marxist view of the Permissibility of Bio-Enhancements in World Affecting, Dystopian Martial Arts Tournaments

    It is plain that Kombatants cannot form world saving/enslaving tournaments of their own account. We must, therefore, have recourse to their guardians, who are also their owners. Kombatants are things, and while they have great power to resist the will of men, being generally unfamiliar with modern weaponry they have little power to resist the armed hordes of their guardians or overlords. In order that these Kombatants may enter into Iron Fist or other Tournaments with each other, their guardians must place themselves in relation to one another, as persons whose will resides in those object, and must behave in such a way that each does not appropriate the Kombatant or even the Kombat style of the other ? with exceptions being made for siblings belonging to different guardians, who will generally have the same Kombat style, and will advertise such with diametrically opposed palette swapped uniforms. They must therefore, mutually recognise in each other the rights of private proprietors. This juridical relation, which thus expresses itself in a Kontract, whether such Kontract be part of a developed legal system or a system based on tournament powered Magick, is a relation between two wills, and is but the reflex of the real economic relation between the two. [cont.]

    1. Thus, in now what we understand as an economic relationship, the tournament is comprised of a juridical act and its actors are indeed proscribed by the very legal or Magickal foundations of the tournament itself.

      The guardians exist for one another merely as representatives of, and, therefore as owners of, Kombatants. In the course of our investigation we shall find, in general, that the Kombatants who appear on the tournament stage are but the personifications of the economic relations that exist between them, as well as the projection of their teachers, and possibly their parents, especially in the case that said parents or teachers were killed by one of the other guardians.
      What chiefly distinguishes a Kombatant from its owner is the fact, that it looks upon every other Kombatant as but the form of appearance of its own value. A born leveller and a cynic, it is always ready to exchange not only punches, kicks, hat throws, grapples, power bombs, teleport kicks, bicycle kicks, hurrikanradas, Animalities, arena destruction, Ring Outs, but also soul, with any and every other Kombatant.

      The guardian or Tournament sponsor makes up for this lack in the Kombatant of a sense of the concrete, by his own five and more senses. His Kombatant possesses for himself no immediate use-value. Kombatants must be realized as values before they can be realized as use-values.


      1. To this end, it is often the case that either the Kombatant himself or the Guardian of said, will endeavor to commit bio-enhancements upon the Kombatant.

        In this manner, it would at first glance, appear that the field would become UN-level, and the Tournament would skew to the Guardian able to produce the most effective bio-enhancements. On the other hand, barring any major barriers to implementing Bio-enhancements, this would appear to RE-level the Tournament, providing the Kombatants with ways to make up for various genetic shortKomings. And indeed, it is this second path down which we must progress.

        For on deeper inspection, there is a third actor in this tournament, and that actor is the most important. Indeed, the labour spent upon the Kombatants counts effectively, in so far as it is spent in a form that is useful for others (both Kombatants and their owners, yet not the armed hordes). Whether that labour is useful for others, its product IS indeed consequently capable of satisfying the wants of others, and can be proved thus in the act of Kombat.

    2. Um, what brought this wall of text without a link up?

      1. I watched a pirated copy of Tekken last night, and wondered what Marx would think of it.

        1. It’s too bad Tekken wasn’t available when he was writing his drek, might have saved the world 100 million lives or so…

          1. The children have to learn about TekWar sometime!

  19. Chicago Ridge fire official put on leave after Tinley Park attack charges

    Swiercz allegedly broke into the home of a woman in his condo building early Saturday while wearing a ski mask and carrying a folding knife. He also had duct tape, rope, a sex toy and lubricant, Assistant State’s Attorney Dan Calandriello said in court.

    Prosecutors alleged during a bond hearing that Swiercz put his hand on the woman’s mouth while she was sleeping, then put a 3-inch blade to her throat and threatened to slash it. He held her hands together and forced her into the kitchen, where he pushed her against a cabinet, Calandriello said.

    1. Procedures were followed.

    2. buildings don’t burn anymore, these guys have too much time on their hands

      1. buildings don’t burn anymore, these guys have too much time on their hands

        This is absolutely true. A friend of mine who has been a fireman for 7 years now said, when I recently asked him how many fires he’d fought, “I can’t count the number of fires I’ve fought on one hand if you cut off two fingers. And 2 of those were car fires.”

        I was floored to know that he gets paid about $75k per year + full benefits + pension to be a taxi service for old people to get to the hospital (most of the time, these are not emergencies). He fully admits that he’s only truly helping someone 1 of every 7 to 10 calls. Everything else is fluff, and I’m supposed to treat, and pay, them like heroes.

        1. But one time some assholes flew planes into some buildings and killed a ton of people. So they are all heroes forever.

    3. “a folding knife”

      I read that as a fondling knife, which is pretty fucked up.

  20. http://hosted2.ap.org/ALFLO/79…..Ala-School Bomb Plot/id-822f7481b57f404a8e2f0d5cd543ef0c

    I get that the items are very explosive-y lookin’. But where do they draw their conclusion that he wanted to “bomb his classmates”?

    1. Everyone is a terrorist until proven otherwise. Can’t be too careful.

    2. Don’t you see?! They said the devices were “a step or two away from being ready to explode.”

      Those two steps being:
      1) getting or making explosives
      2) I guess putting it inside the cans?

      1. By those standards we’re all potential bombers.

        1. Which is, of course, the point.

        2. Just hope no one reports you or they’ll go through your stuff and find you too are a step or two from having a functional IED.

          1. If you’ve got a cell phone, paint cans, and fertilizer, you’re a potential IED maker.

          2. It probably doesn’t help that I own ammunition.

        3. Uhh… I guess I’m only one step away?

          (Just kidding ATF, don’t come visit me! My house is a wreck.)

  21. http://tinyurl.com/bd5q4db

    Crap, see if this works.

    1. Is it supposed to link to a Hello Kitty! discussion forum?

      1. I didn’t think there was anything to discuss about Hello Kitty, you just put the design on everything you own.

        1. I’m deeply concerned with Hello Kitty’s gay agenda.

  22. White House Plans To Overwhelm NRA With Rapid Victory

    Obama has personally identified an assault weapons ban and limits on ammunition magazine size as top priorities. Other possible reforms could include background check requirements for purchases at gun shows, a loophole that’s helped create a huge market of off-record arms purchases.

    Pro-gun groups have dominated Congress in recent years and, while lawmakers approved by the National Rifle Association have mostly kept their heads down in recent weeks, any legislation could face an difficult path to passage, or even a vote, especially in the Republican-led House.

    1. It is up to the Republicans to see if they want to remain a national party. If they fold on gun control, they won’t have any supporters left.

      1. Yeah right. Incumbents will still get reelected. They always do. Remember that it’s their congressmen that are the problem, not your own.

        1. Tell that to all the House Dems who got erased in 2010. I have a feeling this is one of those issues that people are vocal about in enough districts to torpedo any gun control legislation. While people aren’t going to go running to the Democrats in those districts, they may be happy changing things in the primary.

          1. Except that of the 403 incumbents that ran, 343 got re-elected. So even in the biggest swing in US history, 85% of the incumbents still got reelected.

      2. They’re folding on everything John. They’re whupped.

        1. Then prepare to live in a full on fascist country. If Obama gets what he wants on gun control at least 40% of the country who are not already will immediately become federal felons. I am not kidding. That is the plan. Make owning a gun so onerous most gun owners ignore the law. Then launch a war on gun and lock up the other parties supporters. Think war on drugs levels of incarceration only this time for lawful gun owners.

          That is what these people want.

          1. The next wave of gun crime hysteria will be cornered owners of AR-15s. A thousand little Wacos.

            1. And I, for one, cannot wait for this.

            2. Every crime that is committed by an owner of an AR-15 (doesn’t even have to involve the weapon, the person just has to own one) will be front page news on every paper in the country for a week or until the next incident.
              The increase in reporting will make it look like there’s some sort of epidemic going on, and it won’t be long before the public demands that government “do something.”

              1. There will be an epidemic – an epidemic of coverage. That’s how they roll in MSM pressrooms.

              2. Every crime that is committed by an owner of an AR-15 (doesn’t even have to involve the weapon, the person just has to own one) will be front page news on every paper in the country for a week or until the next incident.

                In other news, an AR15 owner was in a car wreck this afternoon. More on how his gun ownership is the cause after the break.

          2. That is what these people want.

            Easy enough problem to fight.

            Voter registration rolls are public information in most areas, and indicate party affiliation. If that fails, lefties are usually pretty easy to spot based on the quantity and content of bumper stickers.

            Be right terrible is somebody, say, went open season.

    2. All Boehner has to say is “we’ll take up gun control after the Senate passes a budget”.

  23. http://www.washingtontimes.com…..increases/

    Tails from the land of the low information voter. I hate paying taxes. But listening to these retards complain almost makes it worth it. How stupid do you have to be to have voted for Obama thinking your taxes wouldn’t go up?

    1. I guess they thought they were voting for G-Norq.

    2. At least they can use their free phones to call and complain.

    3. Obama did promise to raise taxes on the evil rich. They just didn’t know that he was talking about them.

    4. Obama did promise to raise taxes on the evil rich. They just didn’t know that he was talking about them.

    5. How stupid do you have to be to have voted for Obama thinking your taxes wouldn’t go up?

      rhetorical question?

    6. Again, this is the kind of thing that infuriates me about Team Red. Republicans have been running on ending the payroll tax holiday for two years now. They finally get what they want and now want to blame Obama voters for it?

  24. Bank of America will pay $3.6 billion to Fannie Mae as part of a settlement over mortgage loans.

    In unrelated news, Bank of America is getting another bailout.

    1. Well, at least they won’t have to change the name once it’s state-owned.

  25. The GOP’s future speaks Spanish

    Whatever the legitimate arguments on either side, one shows heart and the other doesn’t. Recognizing this deficit of spirit, rising non-white Republican stars are beginning to form a constellation of “opportunity conservatism,” to borrow Cruz’s term. The ideas aren’t lacking, they say, but the messaging has been disastrous.

    Whether these new ways of communication ultimately can change the complexion of the GOP remains to be seen, but the future is clear enough: Lose the Hispanic vote, and you lose. And the message to Republicans, if they want to survive, should be obvious.

    1. How do you win the Hispanic vote? I don’t know. But I suspect being principled advocates for small government is not how.

      1. On the other hand, many of the recent immigrants have come from countries with dysfunctionally powerful governments, where a corrupt bureaucrat can control everything.

        We might be able to sell them on limited government.

        1. I think so. But those are not Hispanics. If you want to have an immigrant vote that wants to turn the country into anything but a socialist hellhole, you better get some immigrants who come from somewhere outside of latin america.

          1. Like… Sweden?

            I’m sorry, but I think you’d have an easier time convincing a Mexican of limited gov’t than a Swede.

            1. Not the Mexicans I have ever known. Basically the whole world outside of a few surviving victims of communism are socialist retards.

              1. Liberia is one of my favorites. Like $0.5B in GDP and they still want every social program and regulation under the sun.

                I laugh and laugh (from within my privately guarded compound).

          2. Cuban immigrants have been notoriously anti-socialist. For one generation.

        2. On the other hand, many of the recent immigrants have come from countries with dysfunctionally powerful governments, where a corrupt bureaucrat can control everything.

          Yep, and that’s the same reason why Texas should welcome new residents from CA.

      2. “How do you win the Hispanic vote? I don’t know. But I suspect being principled advocates for small government is not how.”

        Well then, the GOP should have no trouble winning them over.

        1. Bush the lesser got the second highest percentage of the Hispanic vote of any recent president. Richard Nixon got the highest.

          So the GOP does know how to get their votes. Not sure why I should want them to go there though.

          1. Recent GOP president.

      3. How do you win the Hispanic vote?

        You first admit that there is no “hispanic vote.”

  26. Syrian President Bashar Assad blamed nearly two years of civil war in his country on “…puppets of the West.”

    I blame the subpar season 5 of Angel on puppets of the West.

    1. At least he didn’t blame lesbian witches who want us to kill babies.

      1. Hrm…what do they look like, and what do I get for killing them?

    2. Haha, awww I liked that episode.

  27. “the president said to me, ‘We don’t have a spending problem.’ “

    This sounds so familiar.

    “I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I fall down. I throw up. I drink some more. NO PROBLEM!”

  28. http://www.al.com/alabamafootb…..l_was.html

    Nick Saban has an odd habit of showing the team crappy movies before big games, including Red Tails before the 2012 BCS National Championship Game against LSU and Flight before the regular season game against Texas A&M.

    He always has something inspirational to draw from the movies, but I have to say, he can buy a lot better, more inspirational flicks in the Wal-Mart $5 bin to screen to his players.

    1. Flight has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I know at least 50% of the suckitude came from my experiences with a drunk ex, but it really was just a piece of garbage film.

      1. I’ve never seen it, but if it is as bad as you say, I am sure it will run twice daily on HBO for the next year or two.

        1. They were trying to go for Crash-like dark twists and turns and intertwining of lives, but failed miserably. All the characters were shallow and we were given almost no background or motivations for any of them.

          For example, the junkie chick that Denzel cohabits with: she talks about how she used to be a photographer, etc., but we have no idea what drove her downward spiral into heroin and whoring. No idea why the Denzel character was a drunk. We were shown nothing of his supposed long-time and deep friendship with the head of the pilots’ union. Likewise his long-term relationship with his chief enabler, played by John Goodman.

          Everything was glossed over. It could have been a fascinating look at the life of a drunk and the people around him, but it was an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink mess.

          1. “Everything was glossed over. It could have been a fascinating look at the life of a drunk and the people around him, but it was an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink mess.”

            In other words, a post-Back to the Future Zemeckis film.

            1. Yep (except for Contact. I loved that movie.)

              1. Sorry Kristen. Contact blew, and I don’t care how close it followed the book. If they lined up 100%, the book must blow as well.

                1. Never read the book, so I can’t compare. I actually think the book might ruin the movie for me!

                2. I read the book and saw the movie. The movie screwed over the book.

              2. Contact could have been cool if it hadn’t been so goddamn boring.

          2. Contractual obligation movie. And many fine character actors were free to pursue new projects…

      2. It looked like the first 20 minutes were a kick ass action movie and the rest was just some whiny ass “I have a disease” drunk.

        1. The scene involving that actual plane crash wasn’t at all tense and was really goddamn stupid from an aviation perspective.

          (can you all tell how much I despised this turkey?)

    2. Rocky II is the only inspirational movie needed.

      1. What more inspiration do you need when you have the 2nd best record of the regular season. Just take your players out to see Django Unchained (which they all want to see anyway) and have a fun time at the movies.

        1. Fun and NIck Saban are rarely used in the same sentence.

        2. So if Alabama beats Notre Dame, does that make Texas A&M the national champion?

          1. Georgia? Or I guess the Head Ball Coach.

          2. “So if Alabama beats Notre Dame, does that make Texas A&M the national champion?”

            In a sane world, it would. Aggies @#$%ing rule!

            1. Yes, Aggies rule. They rule their creepy buried 3 legged dogs, fire hazard of a stadium full of maroon clad retards.

              GAG ‘UM.

              1. Don’t forget the all male cheerleading squad! /no homo!

            2. Aggie fans are the last people in the world to be qualifying “sane”.

          3. Well, it would definitely leave Ohio State as the only undefeated team in the nation. So, I think they would deserve the AP National Champion.

            Fuck Michigan!

  29. Senator Feinstein’s All-Out Assault On Gun Rights

    Capitalizing upon the tragedy that savagely took the lives of 20 children and 7 others in Newtown, Connecticut, Senator Feinstein is introducing a gun ban bill which has been in the works for over a year which represents a direct assault upon Second Amendment rights. According to a December 27th posting on her website and a draft bill obtained by the National Rifle Association’s Institute for Legislative Action, the legislation would define “assault weapons” to comprise a much larger variety of firearms than ever before, require current owners of those included to register them with the Federal Government noting locations, impose a $200 tax per firearm, prohibit their transfer to other people, and require that those weapons be forfeited and destroyed upon the owners’ deaths.

    1. See my comment above. They would never be able to enforce that. They would make criminals out anyone who owns a gun. They know that. They know it would be ignored. It would then give them the power to basically lock up the political opposition. That is what they want. If they get it, you better get rid of your guns and start voting Democrat, move, or get ready to be a criminal.

      1. They’re going to send SWAT teams to seize the guns, because, we can’t risk just asking the owners to turn themselves in. They couldn’t come up with a worse policy.

      2. There is 0% chance of such law passing the Senate much less Congress.

        Don’t wad your thong on this John. You have other stuff to feign outrage over.

        1. Well let’s just wait for the first incident of Joe Arpaio or some other clown ramming a tank through a house at 4AM before we get on our horse.

        2. But that is what they want. The fact that they might not get it makes it no less vile. If Feinstein proposes killing all of the Jews, there would be zero percent chance it would pass. But that wouldn’t make her proposal any less loathsome or her any less loathsome for wanting it.

          Face it dipshit, you are a member of a party that advocates for a fascist state.

          1. John,

            Once again, why are you arguing with the crazy person?

            1. I thought John was the crazy person.

              1. There are varying degrees of crazy.

                Oddly enough, I suspect that shrike isn’t crazy, but rather a very good convincing troll. A stopped clock is right twice a day, and he/she’s been consistent pro-dem establishment on every single issue. Unless his/her name ends with “Wasserman-Schultz”, there’s no way one can be that consistently wrong.

          2. I think Shrike is right that it is not going to come close to passing, but it is disturbing that a significant number of people think it is a good idea at all.

        3. The Democratic Party has been taken over by its extremist wing. When will the ‘responsible’ democrats come to the fore?

          1. The 99% of the extremist Dems give the other 1% a bad name.

        4. It’s a sock, people.

            1. Sure, because a Libertarian leaning person never voted for Obama. It couldn’t happen.

              How many editor/writers here did again?

              1. How many editor/writers here did again?

                Yeah but they get paid for pretending to be libertarians, do you?

              2. How many editor/writers here did again?


                But the better question is how many of them voted for Obummer TWICE.

                And I’d bet that the answer is ZERO. Because he is an asshat wannabe tyrant.

                1. It isn’t “lots”. It was like “three”.

                2. And I’d bet that the answer is ZERO. Because he is an asshat wannabe tyrant.

                  Steve Chapman absolutely voted for Obama again, and I strongly suspect one or two others did as well, but lied.

              3. I voted for Obama. Wrote him in for Township Supervisor since I thought he could use a little more experience in elected office.

            2. Definately in the Pantheon of Retarded Socks, though this is technically impossible.

              1. Is that like the pantheon of Greek Gods, or the million-strong pantheon of Buddha’s?

        5. But I thought Obama was the most pro-gun president EVAR!!1

          1. Well, he’s been the best gun salesman of the past 50 years, that’s for damn sure.

    2. Capitalizing upon the tragedy that savagely took the lives of 20 children and 7 others

      Fuck you, others. You don’t count.

      (This “10 people died in a fire; 3 of them were children” formulation really enrages me.)

      1. Capitalizing upon the tragedy that savagely took the lives of 20 children and 7 others

        Fuck you, others. You don’t count.

        (This “10 people died in a fire; 3 of them were children” formulation really enrages me.)


        It’s all about hitting the right emotional strings. Adults die? Who gives a shit? But children pull at the heart strings every time.

    3. They can call it the “Second Civil War Act”.

  30. http://www.usatoday.com/story/…..s/1810317/

    Bill Pullman is still alive?!

    1. He wasn’t in the 2010 movie Rio Sex Comedy.

  31. help me with my list of linguistic coups:

    Civil War: a fight for power vs leaving power.

    Anti-Federalist vs Federalist

    Pro-Growth policies. Keynesian tax and spend vs cut and grow

    Government Cuts: cuts to future increases

    Inflation Doves vs Hawks

  32. Adventures in Alachua County, FL aka Gainesville

    GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) ? A semitrailer hauling 32 bulls slammed into a tree on I-75, snarling traffic on the highway and forcing Florida Highway Patrol officials to chase down and shoot one of three animals that escaped.

    A veterinarian sedated another of the animals with a dart. The first was shot for being overly aggressive after Saturday’s crash.

    The Gainesville Sun reported Sunday that a crew of cowboys, veterinarians and state troopers set up chutes with portable metal fences to offload the bulls from the semi into trailers that would transport them to South Florida.

    Just remember this is not crazy for Gainesville the next time Pro Lib starts extolling the virtues of UF.

    1. And you all called the Sheriff crazy when he spent $75K on a ‘Bull Rifle’.

      1. ACSO is having a barbecue tonight!

    2. I think you’re going to lose if you’re comparing Gainesville’s insanity with Tallahassee’s–not that I’d live willingly in either town.

      1. You can’t blame the legislature on us.

        1. Can so.

          I liked Tallahassee as a kid (we lived there for a while), but it is a silly place.

  33. Bullshit list on college study habits. Well, the engineering is probably the least manipulated, but no fucking 45% of my classmates were doing more than 20 hrs per week average studying as seniors.

    1. I wasn’t, but my lab partner in Invertebrate Functional Morphology said that he was studying 7 hours a day the week of exams. The fact that he was scoring 30 points more than everyone else pretty much confirms this for me.

    2. Yeah, I call “Bullshit!” on Education not being the bottom of the list.

      1. Seriously, what are they studying anyway? As an engineering major(a shitty one at that) who busted my ass to still become a worthless piece of shit, I was amazed at how little work seemed to be done by (Re)education majors who seemed to to hold up their number of skipped classes as a badge of pride. This not to say that the scores of psych, English, anthro, whore studies, and douchenomics majors weren’t any better.

        Seriously, fuck college. Become a plumber and rip people off. That’s the smart play.

        1. My 9-yr-old told me that she wanted to do college “on the computer” (internet) so she wouldn’t have to “drive to a building and listen to boring people talk and talk and talk.”

          How does a kid get that smart at that age?

    3. Chemistry here:

      3-4hrs/night, 5-6 nights/week

      During exams that figure may double.

    4. I dont think I averaged 20 hours per week, but I had weeks that were way over that.

      Like the 72 straight hours to finish up senior design project.

  34. Marine won’t register guns

    Good for him. He should not. But the commenters are frothing at the mouth, even some of those in the military.

    Registration is the first step mass confiscation.

    1. I will never register a gun. Never. Fuck them.

      1. One reason I want to move to the socialist dystopia that is VT is their gun laws. Unfortunately out-of-state buyers are shit out of luck.

      2. i had a coworker who had a hell of time trying to figure out how to get his father-in-law’s old revolver from CA to MD. before he died, he made it clear that there was to be no paper trail at all. guy was an Armenian immigrant and was not going to register his gun. i think my colleague ended up putting sending it via overnight UPS

        1. The Armenians understand this well. The Armenian genocide was made possible by the confiscation of firearms.

      3. what’s the point of your 2nd amendment if your going to willingly fork over 50% in taxes?

        1. There is more to life than money. And just because taxes are wrong doesn’t mean nothing else is.

        2. Cop beatings and prison rape coupled with robot enforcers are pretty convincing reasons to pay 50%. It’s like paying the mob for protection. Now if we could legally own tanks, missiles, and terminators, the 2nd amendment might still be doing its job. But that’s crazier than being threatened with slavery, rape, and death on daily basis for wanting to save your money. Ah, here come the swat teams. Right on time.

    2. I did some target practice with my dad’s 410 bore shotgun and a Diet Dr. Pepper can behind the house over the weekend.

      I pretty sure I listed at least two legally-restricted activities in that sentence.

      1. no, it’s fine. that soda was less than 16 oz.

        1. Bloomberg would never survive in Alabama, where we enjoy both our guns and our soda.

          1. No way do you live in Alabama…I never once heard carbonated sweet beverages referred to as anything other than “coke” the times I’ve been there.

            1. I talk like I’m from “the city”, dude. It’s becoming more common.

              1. I’m from Oklahoma, and we use a lot of words to refer to sweet carbinated beverages. Pop, Soda, Coke, etc. My roommates (native Georgians) only refer to it as coke. We all live in Alabama.

                I’ve always been of the opinion that if I ask for a Coke and you bring me a Pepsi, I’m gonna throw it in your face. They are not the same!

                Oh, and I still can’t get over people calling a shopping cart a ‘buggy’! It’s a fucking shopping cart, you heathens!

                1. Round here some order “tonic” and expect a cola.

                  1. Round here some order “tonic” and expect a cola.

                    Do they wear an onion tied on their belts, as is the style?

                2. The funniest double take I’ve had was the first time I was in Texas and the nice lady behind the convenience store counter asked “Y’all want a sack fer that?” I don’t know what I thought she said but I had to ask her to repeat herself three times before I figured out she was offering to bag my purchase. I felt like such an ass.

              2. I grew up in western Pennsylvania saying “soda” so I know what you mean.

                1. Ever notice how pittsburghers have appropriated the phrase “n’at”? It is not a local saying.

                  Watch teevee and pay attention, people from all over say it. No shittin’.

                  I like “gum bands” and “red up”, though.

                  1. i say gum bands. and buggy. for some reason those stuck with my parents.

                  2. wtf is a gum band and red up?

                    1. gum band = denim chicken
                      red up = worm hat

                    2. To red something up is to make it tidy and organized. A gum band can be used to red up a pile of mail or other items that can be held together tightly.

                    3. There are parts of NE Ohio that use “ret up”.

                      Then again, I wouldn’t mind if we sold Cleveland to Canada and fixed part of the deficit with our five dollars, so there’s that.

                    4. It’s used in NE Ohio because of the Amish, not because of the Yinzers.

                  3. It’s the Yinzer Diaspora brought on by the failure of the steel industry finally percolating into pop culture.

                  4. “red up” is actually Pennsylvania Dutch. You here it some in Pittsburgh, but it more common in the Lancaster/Lebanon/Berks part of the state.

          2. I thought they called them “cokes” in AL. As in:
            “What do you want to drink?”
            “I’ll have a coke.”
            “What kind?”

            1. Coke = Coca Cola

              Diet Coke = Diet Coca Cola/Diet Coke

              Coke =/= Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, RC Cola, etc.

              Pepsi = Pepsi

              Dr. Pepper = Dr. Pepper

              If I ask for coke, I want a Coca Cola, dammit!

              1. We were at Firehouse Subs yesterday, and they had some sort of Coke dispenser that allowed you to have any variety of Coke products, any of which could be flavored with cherry, lime, vanilla, strawberry, and so on. My kids knelt before it and acclaimed it as their new messiah.

                1. There’s one of those at a local restaurant (maybe two restaurants–Moe’s and some other place. They are really cool but I think it was designed by Germans and runs on SAP. Just to get a regular Coca-Cola you have to navigate a hierarchical menu system.

                  1. We use SAP at work.

                    Anyway, here in Huntsville, I’ve been to 1 restaurant that had those (Burger King on University), but I’ve heard that Firehouse Subs has the machine as well. Never been there.

                  2. One near me got rid of the menu system and now just has a bunch of randomly placed “buttons”. Randomly places in that I could find no organizational pattern at all. But all the options were there at once.

                2. I love those things- it’s the only way restaurants will serve vanilla Coke Zero (which is the only soda I’ll drink religiously). All of the Firehouse Subs here have them, as well as the newly-remodeled Burger Kings.

                  My only complaint is that the touchscreens require you to jam your finger before any response.

                3. There’s one of those machines at the Frontier Restaurant in Albuquerque, and it’s pretty awesome.

              2. No Coke. Got Pepsi.

                1. Actually, they switched at the end.

                  Cheeseburger, cheeseburger.

            2. I learned real quick with my college roommate (north-central Texan) that when she said “Could you get me a coke?”, I needed to ask “What kind?”. Often the answer was “Sprite” or “Ginger ale”.

              1. The funny thing is, the Coca-Cola corporation didnt like that.

                They would send secret shoppers around Atlanta and order a “coke” at pepsi product restaurants and then bring in the legal team if the place didnt say “Would Pepsi be okay” or something equivalent.

      2. Well, Diet Dr. Pepper is an abomination along the lines of margarine and male gingers.

        1. Diet Dr. Pepper is the most awesome thing ever!

  35. Finally, you can remote control Lego from Apple devices.

    1. Skynet is born.

  36. I wonder what the newly minted left wing authoritarian governor of Montana has to say about gun control and “school safety”.

    Something tells me he will feel compelled to make a gesture to appeal to the soccer moms and various other monsters-under-my-bed constituents who put him in the Big Chair.

  37. Bank of America will pay $3.6 billion to Fannie Mae as part of a settlement over mortgage loans.

    And Fannie Mae will still be in the red by tens of billions.

    Kill it. Kill it now.

    1. How would you kill it?

      (I agree that it never should have existed).

      1. The same way you kill a wight. Or Rosie O’Donnell. With fire.

      2. Fire. Always fire.

  38. Most Interns are Female, So Now It’s a Problem

    Are interns, temps, and freelancers the new housewives? Maybe ? or, at least, maybe it’s helpful to think of them that way. Perhaps we should analyze the precarious nature of their careers ? and the pressure on them to please their employers at any cost ? through a feminist lens.

    Madeleine Schwartz has a fantastic piece in the latest issue of Dissent on how interns ? “compliant, silent and mostly female” ? have become the “happy housewives of the working world.”

    1. Flexibility at work is also great for women (or men) with kids.

    2. Since I’m already feeling flu-like enough to puke, I’m not going to click through, just note that “interns, temps, and freelancers” are three completely different entities, with different types of work, at different points in their careers, making completely different money, etc.

      1. Goddammit Nicole, stop using critical thinking! You know it’s just a tool of the patriarchy.

        Since I’m already feeling flu-like enough to puke

        I hope you start to feel better. My wife is in the same boat. In fact, I’m going to go check on her now. Have a good morning, y’all.

        1. Thanks, EDG, I am not a very happy camper this morning.

    3. In my experience as an engineering intern, most of the rest were female. Additionally, most the girls in my classes got internships, even though only about 10-15% of the boys did.

      1. That’s odd. I’ve only encountered maybe one or two female engineering interns. Then again, not that many females are getting CS/CE/EE degrees these days.

      2. The 25% of the women in my ChemE cohort got 70% of the internships as well.

        1. Clearly it’s because they were all in the top 30% of the class, right?

          1. Riiight.

  39. Spanish Jesus fresco wine. I assume it’s a decent vintage adulterated with methanol

  40. Perhaps we should analyze the precarious nature of their careers ? and the pressure on them to please their employers at any cost ? through a feminist lens.

    Go right ahead, sweetie. Just try not to walk in front of the teevee. And get me a beer before you start.

  41. a Libertarian leaning person never voted for Obama. It couldn’t happen.

    If it happened twice, you really should just kill yourself.

    1. If it happened twice, you really should just kill yourself.

      You definitely can’t count yourself as a libertarian anything if you voted for Obama twice.

      1. I can excuse once. Candidate Obama circa 2008 said some pretty cool things about civil liberties, the war on terror, war on drugs, and indefinite detention that I can agree with. 2012 Obama reminded me of Dubya circa 2004.

        Any libertarian who voted for Obama in 2012 can simply FOADIAF.

  42. ASPCA settles with circus to get free of RICO allegations after it came out that they had united with other 501(c)(3)s to pay a witness $190k to testify against Barnum & Bailey circus.

    The case against the other defendants was brought under the Racketeering Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act, or RICO, which was created to combat organized crime. How far this case will go remains to be seen. But with the ASPCA settling, the financial burden these groups sought to impose on Ringling in fighting their claims now rests fully on their shoulders and is growing every day.

    All the defendants, with the exception of paid witness Rider, are still subject to the suit. All, with the exception of Rider, are 501(c)(3) charitable organizations, which means donations to them are tax-deductible. That $190,000 paid to Rider came from charitable donations given under the guise of helping animals.

    1. Sarah McLaughlin must be devastated.

    2. What should be a good organization becomes another organization corrupted by Leftists. Leftists destroy everything they touch.

  43. All, with the exception of Rider, are 501(c)(3) charitable organizations, which means donations to them are tax-deductible. That $190,000 paid to Rider came from charitable donations given under the guise of helping animals.

    Fuck those extortionist assholes. Jail them.

    Also, some cunt from the American Red Cross was on teevee the other day boohooing about the possibility of caps on charitable contributions. Fuck industrial charity. Get rid of all that social engineering bullshit.

  44. I’m back everyone. Just like hockey (maybe). But not in time to get in my picks for Saturday’s wildcard games (and I was right about both of them).

    Also, hamilton, what were you saying about missing a playoff game?

    1. How was the cruise? “Better” than last time?

      1. Love,
        Exciting and new.
        Come aboard,
        We’re expecting you.

      2. Certainly an improvement, though whoever asked if I was going with a prostitute may have had a cheaper strategy.

        1. “Oh, you want to do all the extras, honey? Great. Let me just sell a kidney real quick.”

          1. “But first, let’s make housekeeping do up the bed again.”

    2. Also, I’m flying to Dallas tomorrow, apparently. Hooray for ridiculous customers who want to waste their money instead of letting me work in peace.

  45. I’m into week 3 of Bar Exam prep. I still eat, have clean clothes (mostly) and manage to get in a workout or two a week.

  46. So I took my first flying lesson this past weekend. I think everyone should land an airplane at least once in their life. I’ve done it hundreds of times in PC flight simulators but doing it for real is pretty amazing. I know it’s done thousands of times a day but the first time you actually do it yourself and don’t die, it’s pretty satisfying.

    1. What about the first time you do it and do die?

      1. You remember the first successful time a lot longer.

  47. Feel-good story of the day– Burglar enters home, gets shot in the face:


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