Donate to Reason! Because for a Baby Named Reason….Wait! THERE'S A BABY NAMED REASON!!!!


You don't see any babies named "Weekly Standard," do ya?

We here at Reason's Hit & Run blog–the writers, the editors, the commenters, the lurkers, the concern griefer troll spoofer combatants with a Code (and website!) of their own–have a relationship with one another that borders on the…well, intimate is one way of putting it. For example: As we hurtle toward Miller Time on Day One of Reason's annual Webathon, in which we tug at every available heartstring in order to get 800 small donations to keep our nonprofit journalism machine whirring for another year of Free Minds and Free Markets, this fantastical news from Hit & Run regular Ken Spicer just came in:

As many of you may know, my wife and I met in the comment pages of H&R and met for the first time about a year ago and were married early this year (after a very abbreviated courtship).

Well, I wanted you all to know that our first child came into the world two days ago.  And since we never would have met without you all, it was only fitting that we name her appropriately.

So let me say hello to you all on behalf of our beautiful daughter, Reason Sophia Spicer.  May she grow up and be a credit to her namesake and be a fighter for liberty and justice.

Note: This is NOT Reason Spicer, but another cute baby wearing Reason swag. Because babies!

Welcome to the world, lil' Reason Spicer! (She's the one at the top right; bottom right just washed up in a basket from the Potomac.)

Hit & Run was one of the first opinion-magazine group weblogs, and certainly the first with any print circulation to speak of to enable a robust, controversial, and occasionally litigatable comments section open to 99.99 percent of the participating public. We don't always get along, let alone make babies, but our daily interaction is part of the special something that keeps the world just a little more tolerable.

So YOU there, refreshing the comments thread: Say hello to the family's newest addition, give the Spicers your best (including your best snot-removers and diaper-smell-cancellation devices), and think about donating a few bucks to the only nonprofit you've heard of that publishes an opinion magazine that has a group weblog whose commenters occasionally meet and procreate and name their beautiful offspring after the magazine in question!

And stay tuned: Tomorrow afternoon, Nick Gillespie, Kennedy, me, and a whole host of Reason staffers and special guests will be tempting fate and defying technological gravity through a special live Webathon Telethon, during which everyone who donates can make us read or do truly undignified things. No babies will be harmed during the broadcast.

NEXT: U.S., Switzerland Agree To Share Banking Information

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Aw. She’s even less hideous than most newborns. Well, sort of.

  2. Wow. For a baby named Reason….

    1. For a baby named Reason…

      she is as cute as can be.

      Congratulations, Sloopy and Banjos.

  3. occasionally litigatable comments section

    And fine, Welch, I’ll give you some goddamned money. You gonna hold this over my head for the rest of my life or what? Dick.

    1. Warty the Litigationian. Like Conan the Cimmerian, only more dangerous.

      1. Gozer the Gozerian?

        1. More like Hoser the Hoserian. A Canadian god, I think.

  4. No babies will be harmed during the broadcast.

    Then why have it?

    (Seriously though congrats to Sloop, Banjos and little Utne Reader!)

    1. Congrats Sloop and Banjos!!
      Good looking kid.

  5. So do you think she looks more like Kara, or more like whoever the real father is?

    1. …..or more like whoever the real father is?

      Is that why he dislikes Dunphy so much?

      1. OH SNAP

      2. [narrows eyes]

        “You just made the list, buddy.”

        1. I’d say lighten up Francis……


          Again congrats on the new arrival Sloop!

  6. Congrats you two

  7. And I just want to say that we never could have named her if it weren’t for Nicole’s $215. Thanks, Nicole. The lady from vital records thanks you as well.

    1. You’re all very welcome, not least Reason itself.

      1. I’m not thanking you, nicole. JJ and I had decided on Mua’dib (Get it? Spicer? Aren’t we witty?) and thought we had the win, and you went and stole it.

        1. Except I totally didn’t steal it, and maybe if someone wants to win a baby-naming contest he should check the AM links.

          Mine may not be witty, but it is pretty, and still smaht.

          1. I also want to note that her initials are RSS. Because RSS is not very much alive, and also wonderful.

          2. You stole it if I say you stole it. Patriarchy and all that.

        2. I don’t get it.

          Not my kid, so maybe I’m not supposed to.

          1. ok, Dune.

        3. You can buy the next one, man. Ooh, if it’s a boy we can name him Sting for the Dune character!

          1. Or the wrestler and he can have his own entrance music wherever he goes.

            1. “Macho Man” would be the greatest middle name for a male child ever.

              Randy “Macho Man” Spicer

            2. You’re right. Nature Boy would be a cool name.

              1. I might have to bid on a boy’s name. Wilberforce, after the abolitionist, would be awesome.

                1. I think that was also the first name of the hero of the comics page comic “The Born Loser.”

                  So maybe not a great name for a newborn. That’s a lot to saddle someone with, loser at birth.

                  1. Wilberforce that is

          2. My grandson is going to be named James Tiberius and I am very pleased :)))

      2. Wait, Reason itself, or Reason herself?

        Are we talking about the magazine or our sweet daughter? Are we gonna have to deal with this confusion forever? Aw, shit…

        1. I italicized it to try to prevent confusion! But lil Reason is also very welcome as you know.

          1. You mean you didn’t specify that Reason is to be italicized?

            1. But she did the middle name. Officially, it’s Reason Sophia Spicer.

              1. Hagia Sophia, for short?

                1. Not bad joke there.

        2. Reason should be paying you for such valuable and long lasting ad space.

          Market failure!

    2. I find it very odd that the person advocating a semi-normal middle name “won”.

      I guess the General’s money is no good around here. Or else we’d be lookin’ at Reason Kenshultzwontcallmeacuntnomatterwhat Spicer. Fuck man, we’d of made the news! Local, dude.

      1. It was an auction, guy. Though I guess I confused things by referencing a “naming-contest.”

        1. Auction my ass, I had 300 clams on the name above. Read closely, pal.

          1. I’m kind of pissed. I never received a notice that I had been outbid.

            1. That’s a shame Jim. If I ever spawn another being you got dibs on one of its middle names.

              For free.

      2. I’m naming my first born Evel Knievel Shultz.

        …if it’s a girl.

        If it were a boy, I think I’d be tempted to go with something like Cavanaugh Mangu Shultz.

        P.S. I rescued a stray dog I call Mary Stack. Even as I type, it’s curled up in the corner growling and licking itself.

    3. Congrats and best wishes to the three of you.

  8. Doherty once said that the true purpose of libertarianism has always been to make more libertarians.

    1. On that note, Sloopy, my son is 5 months old. We could create a race of libertarian supermen.

      1. I’m in. I’ll buy him for $5,000. If you’re interested in stud fees only, we’ll have to talk in 22 years or so.

        1. If I remember my Heinlein right, it’s more like 15 years.

        2. Hmmm, stud fees. I’d like to keep him around for a bit.

  9. This is unfair discrimination. Warty and Episiarch met in the comments of HampersandR too, but they get ignored because they can’t make babies together.

    1. “This is the worst kind of discrimination! The kind against me!”

    2. I too think it’s a stretch to call their offspring “babies”

  10. Oh no, not another special-snowflake hipster name…

    You might as well name her PBR.

    1. Jemaine: I’m not sure I got your name.

      Aussie girl: It’s Keitha.

      Jemaine: … Pardon?

      Keitha: Keitha.

      Jemaine: (Confused) Keitha?

      Keitha: Yeah, it’s like Keith. But with an ‘a’ at the end. I was named after mi’dad.

      Jemaine: Umm…

      Bret: She’s got a man’s name!

      1. I love the ones where they get bullied by Aussies. Poor, poor little Kiwis. The Canadians of the Antipodes, I daresay.

        1. “Unnatural Love” is one of the funniest episodes of any show, ever. God damn I need to watch that again. However, yeah, their Kiwi/Australian thing is hilarious in general.

          Jemaine: It doesn’t matter what country someone’s from, or what they look like, or the color of their skin. It doesn’t matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently…some would say, more correctly.

          Sinjay: Yeah…

          Jemaine: Let me finish. I’m a person. Bret’s a person. You’re a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.

          Sinjay: That’s a great speech. Too bad New Zealanders are a bunch of cocky a-holes descended from criminals and retarded monkeys.

          Jemaine: No, you’re thinking of Australians.

          Bret: Yeah, that’s Australians.

          1. “You were wearing a vest top”

            1. “I gotta go murder a brown snake”

          2. I suppose if you squint your ears…

        1. “I suppose if you squint your ears…”

  11. Congrats to Banjos and Ken/Sloopy.

    Also, goodbye, because I know from experience you have no more free time for the next six months and I’d be surprised if you can post even once in a while til then.

    1. I think I’ve posted about 33 comments in the 5 months since my son was born.

      1. And you wasted one(or more) defending Robert Poole?

        1. Defending Robert Poole or annoying SIV?

    2. Then you don’t know me very well. And I can’t produce milk, so my computer time will not be reduced like my wife’s will.

      1. Have you even tried?

        1. I’m not little Geppetto.

      2. You so sure about that

        Really I think you’re just being lazy and not wanting to do the work.

    3. Every time I type “con*gratulations”, it flags my comment as spam.

  12. Congratulations. You’ll need this.

    1. You’re going to summon the Pagan Priestess.

      1. Yeah, that’s why I thought to recommend it.

      2. If Sloop and Banjos want to do that, then no skin off my teeth. But if I’m not mistaken NICUs have VERY restricted access so baby Reason won’t be encountering too many plague monkeys.

        1. I’ve heard that if you say ‘vaccination, vaccination, vaccination’ three times into a mirror, Pagan Priestess shows up and gives your kid autism.

          1. Yeah, tweak the woman who lost a child.


            1. I wasn’t thinking. That was inexcusable of me.

              1. Don’t worry iggy. I forgive you. But not Warty, there is no forgiveness for Warty.

          2. I don’t believe vaccines cause autism. I believe vaccines are not perfectly safe, that they are contra-indicated for certain people, that mandating them is evil, and that every one should be fully informed of the risks before using them.

            Now on the autism front, my working theory is: the increase is due in part to definitional changes, like saying what used to be shy nerds now have Asperger’s Syndrome. The other theory I currently entertain (always subject to revision) is that the Standard American low fat diet sucks for growing brains.

            1. Actually the new DSM-V gets rid of Asperger. Now everything will be lumped into one diagnosis, Autism Spectrum Disorder.

              1. You know what else gets rid of Assburgers? A stern voice and a locking front door.

              2. SO exactly, more playing with the definition strangely enough leads to more cases.

            2. smart people fucking other smart people and making babies that inherit brain defects that allowed the smart people to be smart.

  13. Little Reason is absolutely adorable. I’m assuming she got that from Mom.

    It’s been 23 years since my oldest was that small.

    Blink of an eye.

    1. It’s been only slightly more than 23 years since I was that small…

  14. And remember, there are countries out there where you can only name your kid something off of an government-approved list.

    As someone with an unusual first name, I’d like to welcome baby Reason to the club. At least people will never have trouble spelling her name.

    1. At least people will never have trouble spelling her name.

      One can only hope. My boyfriend has a very normal, very standard, but no longer very common (among young people) name, with no real spelling variants or anything, and he gets asked to spell it all. the. time. His last name too, and that one is super common. Imagine asking someone to spell “James Smith” for you or something. It’s on that level.

      1. My last name is very short and not that uncommon,and I am always amused how various telemarketers and government functionaries still manage to fuck it up .

        1. What, they spell Priestess with only two “s”eses?

          1. I’m not talking spelling, I’m talking pronunciation. For example, are you ever addressed as Con Shots over the phone? Out of curiosity which “s” would you drop?

            1. Oh, Ken has been referred to as something that starts with a “C” alright. But I am pretty sure the second letter is “unt”.*

              *Sorry, Ken…low-hanging fruit.

    2. You didn’t go to public school did you?

      1. Hey some us with weird names turned out okay. My parents were smart; they gave me a strange name that doesn’t rhyme with anything.

        1. I was implying that she will have teachers that will spell her name wrong.

          1. I was implying that she will have teachers that will spell her name wrong.

            Ah. True dat.

            1. Based on the quality of teachers I’ve seen in the California public school system, they’d have a good chance of misspelling her name if it was Mary.

              No, her name will not be misspelled since we are not going to commit child abuse.*

              *She will be homeschooled like any responsible person in the Golden State would do for their child.

              1. That’s what my daughter is doing with my granddaughter as well. I’ll be teaching her the constitution:)

          2. @AJB

            It’s weird, my actual last name is spelled exactly like it sounds and is two syllables that any ‘tard could put together, but teachers always insisted on inserting extra letters and syllables in my name.

            My name isn’t Richmond, but imagine a teacher calling a kid with that name Richonmond, or Richesmond, or Richetmond, because teachers are teh stoopid.

            1. Oh I believe it. I’ve seen Joseph spelled Joesph. Of course, I remember having to help my 5th grade teacher with the math she was supposed to be teaching us so there you go.

              1. I could see a rapper being named Joe$ph.

          3. Orange?

        2. One of the nice things about being a Ted is that it’s difficult to get wrong, not at all strange, but also not particuarly common, so most places I go I’m the only Ted.

          1. but do you get called Teddy alot?

      2. Yeah, it was great in that I never had to use my last name. I was mononymous like Prince or Pele.

        1. Before I fought in Africa, I was Shovel Butt Naked. A name that honed my combat skills at an early age.

  15. Tomorrow afternoon, Nick Gillespie, Kennedy, me, and a whole host of Reason staffers and special guests will be tempting fate and defying technological gravity through a special live Webathon Telethon, during which everyone who donates can make us read or do truly undignified things.

    So we’ll finally get to see what happens when Matt dons the Jacket.

  16. Nice work Banjos! Congrats to you both and welcome to the world little Reason Sophia. First lesson. When I say O-H you say I-O.

    1. Funny you mention that because I told Matt he was free to use the words “Fuck” and “Michigan” (in that order) for alt-text. Unfortunately, I also told him I was kidding.

      1. Nice:)

      2. I was just taking my daughter and grandaughter up through Michigan at Thanksgiving so my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter got her first taste of the “I don’t give a damn about the whole state of Michigan” song. It’s a family tradition to sing it whenever entering or leaving the state.

        1. What, did you sneak back in? I thought Ohio Child Protective Services stopped cars coming back from Michigan because it’s still legally considered child abuse for someone to take a minor into that shithole.

          I may be wrong or there may be an exemption if you’re driving through to Windsor, ON.

          1. My wifes cousin married a Canook. What are you gonna do. A little further north than Windsor but yeah I don’t stop.

  17. Sloop, I am so glad to hear that everything went smoothly. I hope that your little girl appreciates how invested her parents are in her.

  18. I have to ask: why were Epi and I not informed that we had been outbid?

    I was really gunning for that name.

    Out of spite, I’ll outbid everybody on the next one, and give it the worst fucking name imaginable.

    Tonywhiteindianshriek Spicer

    1. Oh and that’s how you would summon the anti-christ huh?

    2. I agree with JJ. We were not informed there was a competitive bid, and no chance to raise our bid. You are a strange auctioneer, Ken. I’m just going to assume nicole cheated somehow, or was in cahoots with Ken the whole time.

      I know: Ken was deathly afraid of what JJ and I might name her, so he arranged with nicole to fake a “higher” bid and thus retain control over her naming. This is now the truth since I have spoken it.

      1. You can try to mansplain all you want, but bitchez had ample opportunity in the AM links AND PM links to know I was winning.

        1. None of that is fair. Epi is on the west coast, and I’m awesome (meaning I’m up late partying), so neither of us ever gets into the AM links.

          And my lunch hour is precisely when the PM links come out. I never had a chance.

          I expected emails, damnit!

          @ sloopy below:

          We’ve been telling everybody for a couple of weeks we were at $210 with Jessica.

          You didn’t tell me Ken, you didn’t tell me. Via direct email to my work address, which is the only form of communication I recognize.

          1. I only recognize mind-melds and astral projection.

            1. I prefer ass-tral projections.

              1. Well, you would.

        2. Sorry, nicole, I’m taking a page from TEAM BLUE and creating a completely false narrative that is, as far as I am concerned, now the absolute truth no matter how separated from reality it is. Take that!

          1. Nicole pwnd you, get over it.

            1. I can’t!!! She’s a girl!

              1. It must be humilating. I can’t say for sure cause that’s never happened to me.

      2. He shouldn’t have been afraid, Muad’dib is a perfectly acceptable name in California.

        1. TSA agent: “‘Muad’dib’ eh? Another damn camel jockey.” Clicks button to add name to no fly list.

    3. We’ve been telling everybody for a couple of weeks we were at $210 with Jessica. Dammit, Jim! I’m an auctioneer, not a mindreader!

      Tell you what, I’ll chip in $50 to keep you ahead of the high bidders for our next child. That way you’ll have a better chance to win.

      Or, you and your hot Asian princess could just get to having your own and you could stop your bitching. (I keed!)

    4. Why not just name her Shi’thead?

  19. Congratulations (again)!

    I have to ask–will she be going by Sophia?

    1. That’s kinda up to her, isn’t it?

      1. Is this a segue into a circumcision thread? Because it’s a girl, so that doesn’t apply.

        1. Is this a segue into a circumcision thread? Because it’s a girl, so that doesn’t apply.

          I’ve heard that in some multi-culturally ethnic societies they perform circumcision on the girls too, and it’s paid for by the community.

          If only dumb fat Americans could be so enlightened. Did you know most rural Americans don’t even have a passport!?

      2. Not really. I mean, she’s going to accept whatever name they call her. Sure, maybe she’ll resist later on, but only after years of having an odd name.

        People ask me why I’m a name-dropper, like I named myself or something.

        1. Well if you call yourself Pro all the time people will think you’re pompous.

          1. I already think that.

            1. Pfft, takes one to know one, ass.


              1. That… needs work.

            2. I already think that.

              But most people are too stupid to pick up on it so quickly.

  20. I can’t sparkle like the rest of you, but congrats on the little one. May she grow up in a better place.

  21. Congratulations to the both of you!

    And yet again I find myself having to remind the staff of the Foundation to pimp their CFC affiliation – what better way to subvert a charity drive for federal workers than to donate to the Reason Foundation?


    There is a new Karateka.

    1. I thought of you the other day.

      I’ve been desperately trying to find a small statue of Tin Hau to add to my little Guan Yu shrine in the living room, but there aren’t any anywhere on the internets for anything less than like $500.

      My mother-in-law finally forced my father-in-law to get rid of their shrine, b/c she’s been christian for a long time now and just last week drew a line in the sand and demanded he remove all “pagan” things from their house. I wanted to add her so that he would feel more accomodated in our home if he ever felt the need to burn something in front of her. I only found out after he had tossed his statue in the trash.

      1. Do they have a Christmas Tree? That’s always a secret giggle for me at the expense of the Holy Roller set.

        1. Why christmas trees?

          1. Christmas trees have their origin in pagan winter solstice celebrations. When certain Christian sects go on the pagan symbol bender, they often overlook that one.

            1. Ah, figures.

            2. Apparently the cross on hot cross buns comes from a pagan symbol for the four quarters of the Moon, and was only appropriated for Christianity in the 1300s.

            3. Christians were the Borg before they became boring.

              1. Gotta hand it to the Catholics. Priest wanders into town, turns all the local gods and goddesses into “saints”, keeps all the old holy days and hey presto the whole town is Catholic…doesn’t always jive with the bible tho… soooooo Pope lawyers around the bumps all ex cathedra like and it works nicely until some uppity German monk goes asking questions and then it’s heresies and weird Christian sects (and not a few wars and purges) all over the place. Aint religion grand? 😉

      2. I’ve been desperately trying to find a small statue of Tin Hau to add to my little Guan Yu shrine in the living room, but there aren’t any anywhere on the internets for anything less than like $500.

        Eh…just get Guan Yin and call it a Tin Hau image. 🙂 Seriously though, the prices are outrageous. I’d wait until you go to Asia again and then buy your shrine stuff there.

        1. Or he could jump on board with the winning team and give up on all that goofy heathen stuff those crazy little yellow bastards do. :-O

          1. No, sloopy, for the last time, I’m not converting to Islam.

  23. I have to say, I’m not too keen on unconventional names. Old cultural names are one thing. No suitable names of libertarian figures?

    1. You think “Mises” is better than “Reason”?

      Baruch Spinoza?? Yeah, that’s great. Not libertarian per se, but.

        1. Isabel Paterson? Rose Wilder?

    2. Well, we were gonna call her either Murray, Freidrich or Ludwig but then realized that would have been fucking retarded.

      Besides, we met because of Reason. We thought it fitting to honor the place we first met.*

      *It’s why I am so thankful I didn’t first see my wife on the pages of “Easy Rider” or “Cheri”.

      1. “Hitandrun” wasn’t an option?

      2. I used to have JB nextdoor neighbors named Cherry and Desiree.

      3. But Koch should’ve been on the table, right?

        As a lurker who hasn’t said it yet, congrats to you two. Good luck to little Reason Sophia.

  24. Dude, thats one GOOFY looking baby lol


    1. Listen, you had your chance to say something nice about Reason Anonobot Spicer, but you were too cheap.

    2. Quick hide the baby, the pedo-bot has spotted her!

  25. Sloopy, I just want to thank you and Banjos for giving Welch something besides grylliade to whore out during his little begathon this year.

    1. They should put together “packages” like the PBS begathons. We have some nice decorative glass from that. They could run a bunch of the pro-pot stuff together and sell a donation package of an official Reason bong and 3 assorted sativas.

      I don’t smoke pot, so I would not go for that one in particular.

      1. I would outright buy a reason bong – don’t even need to package in a donation deal.

        1. Bongs are pass? and inefficient. Vaporizers are the way to go.

  26. Congratulations to Ken and Kara, but isn’t Reason Sophia redundant? No matter, she’ll fit right in when atheism takes over the world and people name their kids Science and Logic instead of Christopher or Joshua.

    1. Seriously, I thought about naming her Reason Faith Spicer before the auction idea came to fruition. I thought it would be both a pretty name and a hilarious inside joke.

  27. 1) Can I appear in a Bok cartoon? $250 for a crying Statue of Liberty in my likeness.

    2) How do the shirts fit? I have a long torso and the arms of a pastry chef.

    3) Is it possible to swap out the shirt for the flip-flops? I couldn’t find them at the Reason store.

    1. I have a long torso and the arms of a pastry chef.

      Did someone say Longtorso?

  28. I don’t post much and mainly just lurk, but just wanted to say congratulations, sloopy and banjos. I don’t know much Polish, but na zdrowie to the two of you and little Sophia (which, btw, is a beautiful name).

  29. Congrats to both of you, she is a real cutie.

  30. I would have put money on “Serenity”

    1. If I had the money, I would have put in for that too.

    2. Your crazy poutine and milk bag-based currency is no good down here, guy!

    3. I would have gone with either Soda or Seven.

  31. Gratz Sloop and Banjos. she’s amazing. Here’s hoping she grows well and fast and that the future surgery goes off with zero complications.

  32. For all you, “I would have…” people: we’ll be doing this again next year, so save up and be prepared. We prepared ourselves for the worst here but were pleasantly surprised with the beautiful name Nicole came up with.

    And hopefully next time,the Reason Foundation (this is a hint, Reason Foundation staff) will pay attention and make some serious coin out of it. It’s either that or we’ll end up with a son named Lysander Deep-Dish Spicer. And I know nobody, save Pro Lib, wants that.

    1. you’re naming your son Lysander?
      you should beat him up before he leaves for school, save the bullies the trouble.

      1. Yeah, and we’re also gonna call him Sandy. And dress him gender-neutral because labels are bullshit.

        Trust me. He’ll be fine.

        1. No, no. I’ve got it. We’ll dress him in this Starfleet uniform.

          1. Yikes! Now that’s an encounter.

          2. Ensign Fabulous says his photon torpedo is armed!

    2. You’ve got me all wrong. If it were up to me, your daughter would be named Tim Tebow Spicer. You know, to get ahead of the religion that’s coming.

      1. Meh. Urban made him what he was and can now move on and do the same for Braxton Miller.

        I’d kinda like to name our first boy Archie Howard “Hopalong” Spicer after two Heisman trophy winners (that won as many as Florida has won total). Of course, his birth certificate wouldn’t be long enough to list all of The Ohio State University’s winners. With the Gators, on the other hand, he’d be fine.

        1. That does it. I’m bidding on “Michigan” next time.

          1. PantsFan, this is not ‘Nam. This is baby-naming. There are rules.

            1. If you have a boy, I say we pool our money and name him

              Bo Schembechler Spicer. A deal is a deal.

              1. Hey, he’s a great Ohioan even though he turned to the dark side. And I’d be willing to bet Gillespie would love it since he’s a Miami man (where he played for the late, great Wayne Woodrow Hayes).

                And if I’m gonna give up first and middle naming rights, it’s gonna be five figures. So grab your checkbook.

          2. Michigan

            Hey, if you combined them and the Gaytors,you’d have almost as many Heisman trophies as The Ohio State University. Almost.

            1. Which one of Ohio’s state universities are you talking about?

    3. My libertarian name rankings:

      Adam Smith [surname] for those hesitant of gimmick names. Isabel Paterson [surname] for the girls.

      Herbert Spencer [surname] for those who can stomach the name Herb. I’m not a fan of Rand, but Ayn Rand [surname] is still a brave choice.

      And for the really bold, go for something like Marie Jean Antoine Nicolas de Caritat marquis de Condorcet [surname] or Barth?lemy-Charles-Pierre-Joseph Dunoyer de Segonzac [surname]. For girls, you can’t get much better than Voltairine de Cleyre [surname].

  33. Sam Jackson is filming a motherfucking movie on the next motherfucking street

      1. it’s far too cold for snakes

        1. Gee, what a shock.

          Is it “Canucks On A Plane”?

          In a world where flappy-headed Canucks are allowed to fly at will…only Samuel L Jackson can save mankind. Come for the thrills…stay for the chills. As Samuel L Bronkowitz brings you…Canucks On A Plane.

          1. awesome.

            no, it’s some legal movie with Captain America.

            1. Kramer vs Captain America? I’d pay to see that as long as he disembowels Dustin Hoffman in the first 10 minutes.

  34. Congratulations Banjos and Sloopy!

  35. Congratulations!

    I have 3 sons, all being raised as Agitatortots and reasonoids. I would like to submit them as candidate suitors. And if you don’t like the first 3, maybe baby number 4 (due July) will suit you better.

    At any rate, my experience is … extensive, so I can with some authority recommend this for your wee one’s shnuffly shnoz. If you can get past the squick factor, it works like a dream!

    And if ya’ll want or need any nursing advice, I’m here for you! 59 total months of nursing and still going!

    … Aw hell, preview isn’t working. Hope I didn’t SugarFree that link.

  36. Heather Mallick: Still Insane.

  37. If I were a sentient and self-aware two-day-old, I’d hate to start my life as a political propaganda tool. Then again, do newborns have rights? Is Reason Spicer a human baby or a chatroom freak show?


    1. Has Bob Bobster ever existed before this post? Or is it a fever dream of a sockpuppet handler?


      1. I’m not drunk enough to sockpuppet tonight.

      2. Do newborns have rights?
        Is Reason Spicer a human baby or a chatroom freak show?

        Would “db” care to answer the questions, or is he just another chatroom pimp?

  38. So let me say hello to you all on behalf of our beautiful daughter, Reason Sophia Spicer. May she grow up and be a credit to her namesake and be a fighter for liberty and justice.

    …And not some “FUCK YOU, DAD!” Occupy goon!

    Seriously, congratulations to you!

  39. Little girls is da debil!

    But seriously, congrats to ya’ll.

    Maybe she is the Libertarian savior sent to us, who will grow up and defeat the evils of progressivism. Sort of like a Libertarian Joan of Arc, if you will.

    1. Oh, and don’t forget, it’s never too early to start the Libertarian indocrination.

      1. indoctrination… I would curse, but not with little ones present…

  40. Poor kid. Does that name come with Playground-Beating Insurance? Or do the parents have a backup, just in case?

    Call me cynical, but in two years, “Reason” Spicer will have become “Reece,” or, in a pinch, “Randy.”

    1. whatever you say, “BOBBY”

      1. Hey, I know from experience.
        My parents named me “Spooner.”
        My ass is still bleeding.

    2. Damn, dude. You got me so good! And you’d know what it’s like to get a playground beating because of your name, what with yours being a euphemism for what it looks like when one is orally servicing a man.

      Hey everybody, come meet “Bob,” the guy that “bobs”. Classic comedy!

      1. “Your [name] being a euphemism for what it looks like when one is orally servicing a man”

        That sounds like something a homophobe would say.
        Are you a closet homophobe, “sloopy”?

      2. lol. Oldie but goody: what do call you a quadruple amputee in a swimming pool?

  41. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

  42. We were gonna call her either Murray, Freidrich or Ludwig but then realized that would have been fucking retarded.


    “Reason Spicer.”


  43. Congrats on the new youngin’ sloopyinca and Banjos. I was offering all my agnostic prayers.

  44. I’m surprised that “Lobster Girl” wasn’t in the running.

    Congrats, you two, she’s beautiful!

    … Hobbit

    1. May she grow to look like Lobster Girl. Then she would have men disarmed from glance one.

  45. Congratulations from Restoras. She’s adorable! Enjoy and relish every minute, even the hard ones, they grow up fast.

  46. Congratulations to all three of you!

  47. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee baby eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Congrats to you both!


  48. Congrats, Sloopy & Banjos! Just let us know where to send the celebratory artisan mayo…

  49. Congratulations Sloopy and Banjos. She is absolutely adorable! And this world needs more libertarian babies, desperately, so get cracking, everyone!

  50. Congratulations Kara and Ken Spicer!! 🙂 XO!

  51. Yay! More tiny libertarians!

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