David Petraeus

FBI Investigation Leads to CIA Director's Resignation; Nothing to See Here!

Everything's a conspiracy theory when government's not transparent


has moveon come to his defense yet?

General David Petraeus resigned as director of the CIA last Friday after an FBI investigation (into cyber-harassment) uncovered an affair he was having with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. Both were married, and President Obama accepted Petraeus' resignation. On Friday Senator Dianne Feinstein, the chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, said she wished the president hadn't accepted it, and this week the committee announced it will actually be investigating the FBI's investigation into the CIA director. Feinstein also wants Petraeus to testify about the Benghazi attack, which, before resigning, he was expected to do this week. Last week's presidential election did not abate the need to delegitimize questions about Benghazi, and that delegitimization is now moving forward to extend to questions about the mechanics and motives of power shifts in our government. MSNBC helpfully put together the four "wildest conspiracy theories" about Petraeus' resignation as the head of an agency for which obfuscation and secrecy is the name of the game. They came with the warning that "many are downright silly." Is 4 many?

Here they are:

1. He is trying to get out of testifying about Benghazi

Conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham suggested Petraeus' resignation is to get out of testifying about Benghazi. "COINCIDENCE?!" Ingraham tweeted. "Petraeus is set to testify NEXT week at a closed door session on Capitol Hill ab[ou]t Benghazi. Did [Obama] push him out? This stinks!"

2.  Obama totally knew about the affair before the election, and lied about it

Conservative website Breitbart.com's Ben Shapiro is convinced the Petraeus affair demonstrates the Obama administration "hid information vital to the American people" during the last days of the election.

The fact that the most respected soldier of his generation, Petraeus, would be leaving the administration during an Obama second term, had to be known by the White House prior to the election," Shapiro continued. "And they said nothing in order to run out the clock… The Petraeus resignation is only the most recent evidence that the Obama administration will lie to the American people to achieve its ends.

The National Review's Charles C.W. Cooke repeated the claim, saying "Politics is politics, but if this Petraeus stuff wasn't known prior to the election, I"ll eat my shoes."

3. Someone was trying to destroy Petraeus' career

Wired's Noah Shachtman tweeted, "I hate to say I told you so but…" On Nov. 1, Shachtman  took to Twitter to say "Wow. Someone is trying to end Dave Petraeus' career" and linked to aWall Street Journal piece called "CIA Takes Heat for Role in Libya." The story pointed out that Petraeus was missing from the ceremony honoring the four Americans killed in Benghazi.

4. He was being blackmailed.
Michael D. Shear of The New York Times notes that "Intelligence agencies are often concerned about the possibility that agents who engage in behavior [like having an affair] could be blackmailed for information."  Fox News' Greta Van Susteren says "Why did he go public? Blackmail? The woman still 'friendly' or did she turn on him?"

How wild right? 

It appears Eric Holder knew about the investigation in July. Government officials insist President Obama wasn't informed until last Thursday. The FBI, sources told Fox News, doesn't brief Congress or the White House on criminal investigations that don't involve a security threat. Why did Petraeus resign? The FBI's e-mail-based investigation into Petraeus' affair, meanwhile, has uncovered just how easy it is for the government to snoop through your e-mail, with the bonus tidbit that apparently the director of the CIA and his girlfriend used an email tactic popular among terrorists and teenagers of using draft e-mails in shared accounts to communicate. Wild. 


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  1. “It appears Eric Holder knew about the investigation in July. Government officials insist President Obama wasn’t informed until last Thursday.”

    The guy is head of the CIA; his agency’s reports land on Obama’s desk daily; they are presumed to be the best available.
    And for 4 months, Obama wasn’t told that guy was under investigation?! Sorry, that doesn’t pass the sniff test.

    1. It’s obviously just another rethuglican witch hunt, Obama is blameless, pure as the wind driven snow. Nothing to see here, move along.

    2. Sevo shows he is a whackjob conspiracy nut. Can we finally get his reason account revoked now?

      1. FoE, I’ve yet to pontificate re: The Hitler/Nixon agreement, Paraguay, 1956.
        Nor have I raised the issue of the influence of Elvis’ alien love child.
        But don’t get me started!

        1. Don’t sell yourself short.

          Trump is looking for a nutcase to pipe his nonsense through.

  2. I find it both ridiculous yet hilarious that the director of one of the largest, most well-funded spy agencies in the world couldn’t get or didn’t know a more secure means of communicating with his girlfriend.

    Once again, I am pretty sure that if the we were ever allowed to see the true levels of incompetence, waste, fraud, corruption, and stupidity that goes on daily in the US government, even we, who expect so much of it, would be stunned.

    1. Trust me Episiarch, you would. I have seen it. And it is appalling. These people just are not that bright. They get ahead because they are adept at bullshiting and telling people what they want to hear.

      People wonder why I hate elites so much. I have seen the “elites” and they are fucking morons.

      1. Petrayus the elite may have been fucking morons, but they were hot morons.

        1. “I didn’t say Minnie was crazy; I said she was fucking Goofy!”

    2. I find it both ridiculous yet hilarious that the director of one of the largest, most well-funded spy agencies in the world couldn’t get or didn’t know a more secure means of communicating with his girlfriend.


      Anybody can use PGP. The Cypherpunks were using it in 1994. It’s not difficult to use, and it is unbreakable.

    3. What’s difficult is finding Marianas Web.

    4. The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the government mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of African-American seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The investigations, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of malfeasance, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new round of golf.

      There are those who have guessed at the awesome grandeur of the corrupt cycle wherein our administration and race form transient incidents. They have hinted at strange reelection in terms which would freeze the blood if not masked by a bland optimism for hope and change. But it is not from them that there came the single glimpse of forbidden pleasures which chills me when I think of it on the putting green and maddens me when I dream of it on Air Force One. Let me be clear: that glimpse, like all dread glimpses of truth, flashed out from an accidental piecing together of separated things?in this case an old email from Eric Holder and the notes of a dead ambassador. I hope that no one else will accomplish this piecing out; certainly, if I get reelected, I shall never knowingly supply a link in so hideous a chain.

  3. MoveOn.org set up Broadwell as a honey trap to justify their old accusation that he’s General Betray Us.

      1. Maybe, definitely not serious.

  4. The radicals in the Obama Administration are intentionally acting to demoralize the military in advance of a a full-blown subversion of the Constitution.

    1) Discredit the great general
    2) Appoint John Kerry as Secretary of Defense
    3) ???

    1. 4) Take over the world
      5) Profit

      1. Profit. Nah, the Obamatons would rather invest in Solyndra, GM, and First Solar.

        1. OK,
          4) Take over the world
          5) Lose money
          Sorta like the Soviets…

          1. Now you’re cooking!

      2. 4) Take over the world

        The Pinky and the Brain strategy.

        1. They will have to knock the Germans out of the way, first.


    2. Dude…Red Dawn, but our own government as the “invaders”.


      The trailer for the new one looked pretty bad, but I may just have to go see it with my cousins over Thanksgiving because, well, it would probably be some stupid fun, especially if we get drugged up beforehand.

      1. The trailer for your face looks bad. AVENGE ME! AVENNNNNNNNGE ME!

      2. Wolvrines!!


        But radishes keep ’em away.

    3. Where are you an elder, Cato? The Cub Scouts?

      1. ???

        Good god, you are ignorant.

        1. Shriek ain’t got no time for no book learnin’. There’s christfags to insult, and forums to look stupid on.

      2. Har dee har har harrr!

  5. “apparently the director of the CIA and his girlfriend used an email tactic popular among terrorists and teenagers of using draft e-mails in shared accounts to communicate.”

    You’d think that the head of the CIA would have access to some super-duper encryption technology. You know, something like PGP.

  6. I always knew that lsoer was up to no good! There is nothing lower than a man that cheats on his wife!


    1. Honest men don’t need your “privacy” software.

      1. But, hey, he could’a sold it to that guy heading the CIA!

      2. I don’t know; there are quite a few dissidents in various parts of the world that could use it. Provided that it is what it says it is, and not malware, anyway.

  7. re #2) to the effect of “Obama knew about it.”

    Big deal. So what if he did? What’s so unusual about a egomaniacal, DC stuffed-shirt having an affair?

    1. Blackmail of a sitting intelligence director can be a real stumbling block for national security.

    2. CatoTheElder| 11.12.12 @ 8:33PM |#
      “Big deal. So what if he did? What’s so unusual about a egomaniacal, DC stuffed-shirt having an affair?”

      Nothing, except that it might have affected the election if it hadn’t been covered up.
      See current coverage…

    3. Well, there’s also the extra mistress, or the “your husband is cheating on us” angle.

    4. What’s so unusual about a egomaniacal, DC stuffed-shirt having an affair?

      There are those who say that a certain person is having an affair. So, let me be clear, Mr. Cato. If he’s got a mistress — somebody else made that happen.

      1. So you think you’re potent? There’s a lot of potent people out there. See that puddle of semen on the floor? You didn’t do that. Someone else made it happen.

        1. Thanks for ruining the thread Tulpa…

          Don’t you have a FFL game to lose, or something?

          1. EDG reppin’ LBC| 11.12.12 @ 9:58PM |#
            “Thanks for ruining the thread Tulpa…”
            I’m told s/he’s a prof; imagine what s/he does to the students.
            No, don’t.

            1. I’m told s/he’s a prof; imagine what s/he does to the students.

              I believe it’s something like this.

              1. Chemical People made an album of porno music. Very excellent. Here’s The Woman Chaser.

                1. Listen honey, if you want a delta you’ve got to give me an epsilon.

            2. I’m told s/he’s a prof; imagine what s/he does to the students.


              *Takes a sip of Jim Beam, and stares out the patio window into the dark night*

            3. We don’t have a shower in my department and I don’t run any charities.

          2. No, I finished the work of losing yesterday.

  8. Senator: So, Ma’am, did Gen. Petraus ever put his hand up your skirt?

    Mistress: Well, one day during a conference on embassy security in Libya….

    Senator: Answer the question! Did you grope you or not?

    1. Senator: Did Gen. Petraeus ever fondle your nipples?

      Mistress: Let’s see, there was this time when he showed me a report on Al Quaeda activities in the Benghazi area…

      Senator: I’m tired of all these evasions! Was he rubbing your nipples at the time? Yes or no!

      1. Only the FACTS! We’re on national TV and I want EXPOSURE!
        And could you please cry for the camera?

      2. You forgot the part where Feinstein asks her whether she can afford birth control.

  9. So since many of you weighed in with your opinions on me and the girl who might not be into libertarians thread, I just had coffee with her and found out she was concerned that….I was an anti-immigrant, border fence supporting person like her rich, white Republican family. She genuinely thought libertarians were just Republicans 2.0.

    So naturally she was fascinated when I explained that that wasn’t the case and that we don’t always wear top hats and monocles and beat poor people with our ivory walking sticks.

    1. Why would you? You have underlings to beat up people on your behalf, and you would never loan your underlings your valuable walking stick.

      But congratulations are probably in order that she didn’t inquire that far.

    2. “beat poor people with our ivory walking sticks”

      At least not in public. And ivory is so last season, my walking stick is encrusted with the beaks of a thousand eagles, which sadly is not enough eagle for me.

      1. You generally use ivory to beat the children who clean my chimney. I use to eagle beak encrusted stuff on the guy who waxes my plane.

        1. Good show…carry on.

        2. “the guy who waxes my plane.”

          Is that a euphemism?

        3. Eagle beak is so Bush II. Conflict diamond encrusted old growth teak is the thing.

    3. Oh Serious, I’m glad you saw her again. Just checked out the weekend advice. Wish I had been around; glad you didn’t listen to the haters.

      1. Yeah, she’s really funny, sweet, and cute, so I’m fine with taking it slow with her since it involves bonding over our mutual love of Star Trek: The Next Generation and pool.

        1. Damn, you lucky SOB.

    4. Well, congratulations on having to explain yourself and being treated like a crypto-Nazi. What baffles me is how you don’t find her attitude insulting. Instead of just treating you like crap she has the same access to Google as everyone else does to find out a little more about libertarianism is about instead of assuming you are a hideous moral hunchback on the inside. You know you didn’t deserve that third degree take down, right?

      1. What baffles me is how you don’t find her attitude insulting

        Oxytocin is a hell of a drug, man.

      2. I don’t begrudge her for being ignorant of what libertarians believe and relish the opportunity to educate another person.

    5. Good read, and I will say the same thing I said when I was linking to some liberals finding this same “problem” from the other side.

      Just don’t talk about politics. If they insist you have the same political views because they must talk about it, they’re a dick anyway.

  10. So the FBI was investigating Petreus in July and told the AG who now claims he never told the President. The FBI is investigating the head of the CIA and no one tells the President. I know he mostly plays golf and fund raises and is rarely in the office or does much of anything. But you would have thought the subject would have come up. Just saying.

    1. John, please cut the AG a little slack. It probably just slipped his mind, what with being held in contempt and all.

    2. Well, you know, nobody told Holder or the President anything about all those guns that walked to Mexico, either, and Obama’s people are still investigating to find out what their own actions were during the Benghazi attack.

      Forget plausible deniability. When you have the press in your pocket, implausible deniability is more than enough.

      1. Pretty much. If Obama didn’t know, he is completely negligent in his job. Which is it?

  11. http://www.businessinsider.com…..us-2012-11

    The FBI agent began the inquiry on behalf of a friend, Jill Kelley, who reportedly received about a half a dozen hostile emails from Petraeus’ mistress Paula Broadwell.

    The agent referred the matter to a cyber crimes unit but was prohibited from the any role in the investigation after the FBI found out that he sent shirtless photos of himself to Kelley, people familiar with the probe told The WSJ.

    Top men. Top men.

    1. For political intrigue, I guess this administration is the gift that keeps on giving.

    2. To be fair, she does look like she’d be fun in the sack.

      1. I think Kelly is a lot better looking than Broadwell. Kelly looks like she would be a fun time. Broadwell is hot, but looks like an uptight white woman.

        1. Fortunately for both these women it’s not the 50’s or 60’s cold war, they might have been found after a “car accident”, or “killed during a mugging”. This kind of exposure would never have been tolerated. We have come a long way.

          Probably would have been bad for Gen. Petraus as well.
          Infidelity=potentially exploitable=unreliable asset=the end.

          1. cough cough Patton cough cough

            1. Uh, I’d have to see some evidence Patton didn’t ‘ego’ himself to death

            2. Dulles would have went wild and sprayed them all with a Sernyl/Delysid cocktail and pushed them out of a 8th story apartment window. Nothing to see here folks.

              1. They don’t name airports after squares. There are some stories about Edward O’Hare that would make your nosehairs catch fire.

            3. And look how he turned out.

        2. Lebanese women are the best.

    3. It’s sexters all the way down!

  12. Christ, does Obama know about anything that is happening in his administration? Shitstorm in Benghazi? Nope. Fast and Furious? No idea. FBI investigating the head of the CIA? Shrug. Looks like Clint Eastwood had him pegged. Keep working on your golf game for the next four years, empty suit.

    1. Dude, thinking about guns crossing the border to Mexico, and investigating the CIA chief, and whether solar cylinder makers are going bankrupt REALLY screws up your golf stroke.

      1. Obama is far too busy caring about the problems of people like me. He doesn’t have time for wingnut KKKonspiracy theories.

        1. In all seriousness, I don’t think BO is concerned about any of that. He’s just playing president and giving speeches.

          The various people under him are the ones in charge, running their own little fiefdoms with zero oversight…which would explain why the administration can’t seem to get out of its own way most of the time.

          1. Sadly, there is probably much truth to this statement. ^

    2. Jordan| 11.12.12 @ 9:42PM |#
      “Christ, does Obama know about anything that is happening in his administration?”

      There was a guy who addressed an empty chair at the Repub Con. He was vilified by those who presumed there was someone of importance sitting in that chair.
      There wasn’t; that chair was and is empty.

      1. And BO’s response was to tweet a photo of an empty chair labeled ‘THE PRESIDENT”. Not very bright, our boy Hussein.

        1. Tulpa (LAOL-PA)| 11.12.12 @ 9:54PM |#
          …”a photo of an empty chair labeled ‘THE PRESIDENT”. …

          Couldn’t be more accurate.

    3. He had a lot on his plate. Meeting union bosses, campaigning non-stop, vacations, golf, parties all the time, musta slipped his mind..you know, cut him some slack, he’s the chosen one.

      1. Lewisite| 11.12.12 @ 9:53PM |#
        He had a lot on his plate. […] campaigning non-stop,…”
        Including making sure bad news didn’t get out.

        1. Bad news is a real buzzkill for The One (R)(TM) ((c)), who has time for that shit.

        2. Don’t forget fitting in the hourly smoke breaks.

      2. And Eva Longoria doesn’t like to be kept waiting…

    4. He’s like an average American that way.

  13. Anyone who thinks #4 is “wild” has never had to get a security clearance.

    1. A couple of months ago I had a half hour talk with an investigator about a former roommate who was trying to get a clearance. All they really wanted to know was if there was anything I knew of that he could get blackmailed for.

      1. Yeah, I had to get a clearance for an internship I had back in grad school. I had some embarrassing associations at that point that I thought would totally screw me, but apparently they didn’t care. All they were concerned about was blackmail potential, as you say, and foreign contact.

        1. There was one time when he blacked out and ended up at a hospital with no shirt or shoes, so when he came back the next day he had salvaged a t-shirt and tranny boots from the lost and found…

  14. All of these nutty conspiracy theories are 1000x more plausible than a drawn out military attack being a spontaneous “protest” to some You Tube video that no one had ever seen.

    Remember when the media reported that howler as if it was real thing.

    1. For two fucking weeks!

  15. Am I the only one who remembers how the Left screeched about General “Betray-us”? And now they treat him like a fucking elder statesman, just because the O gave him a job?

    Their venality and hypocrisy knows no bounds.

    1. Just stick to the narrative, man. We’ve always been at war with eas…eur..yeah..eurasia.

  16. The FBI, sources told Fox News, doesn’t brief Congress or the White House on criminal investigations that don’t involve a security threat.

    This brings up 2 questions:

    1) Why is the FBI doing an investigation of if it doesn’t involve a security threat?
    2) How does an investigation of the head of the country’s intelligence agency deep dark secret not entail a security threat?

    1. They need Divertor!


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