New York City Approves Large Soda Ban, So Drink 'Em If You've Got 'Em
The Nanny State wins another round
They city that never sleeps won't be able to rely on a late-night sugar rush for much longer: New York City's Board of Health has approved Mayor Michael Bloomberg's ban on "sugary drinks" in containers larger than 16 ounces from being sold at certain businesses.
The number of exceptions to the ban makes the whole practice an absurd spectacle of pointless progressive authoritarian paternalism. Fruit juices and milkshakes are not affected by the ban even though both can have sugar content right up there with your Cokes and your Mountain Dews. The ban affects restaurants and movie theaters but not convenience stores, so New Yorkers won't be able to get a 20-ounce soda at McDonald's, but they will be able to get a 50-ounce Double Gulp from 7-Eleven. Furthermore, the ban shouldn't affect diet or sugar-free drinks, but as The New York Times reports, establishments with self-service fountains will not be able to stock cups that hold more than 16 ounces. So essentially, thirsty people will want to avoid the targeted businesses altogether even if they're drinking healthy.
One annoying outcome of this half-assed Nanny Statism is how it's easy it's going to be to spin an argument for an expansion of the ban regardless of the outcome. If the city's obesity numbers drop, it will be an argument that the ban worked and it should be expanded. If the obesity numbers don't drop, it means the ban obviously didn't go far enough and should be expanded. The drug war's arguments are on their way to the soda dispenser.
The ban doesn't actually begin for six months, and soft-drink industry representatives vow to continue fighting it, according to the Times. Lawsuits, ahoy!
Various people have written extensively about this new frontier of Nanny Statism here at Reason.com. Catch up here. In May, Reason.tv declared Bloomberg "Nanny of the Month" for proposing the ban. Watch the video below:
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Fuck New Yawk. You assholes want this shit, enjoy it. I'll continue not to visit. Thanks.
Don't be a collectivist asshole. The city council is a bunch of shitbag politicians, and you're condemning the minority (probably actually a majority if a lot didn't vote at all) of people who didn't vote for Bloomberg.
Really, this idiotic "that city or state's politicians did something stupid so everyone in it is an asshole" bullshit needs to die, fucking now. Because everyone who engages in it is being a scumbag collectivist.
Cut the shit.
Isn't "everyone who engages in it" collectivizing people? HYPOCRITE!!
No, I don't think that categorizing people by something that they actually do or say is quite the same thing.
So why is categorizing people by someone they vote for any different?
Who's repeatedly electing these people?
Beat me to it.
Who's repeatedly electing these people?
At least 50.1% of voters? So up to 49.9% are not assholes, potentially. Although I'll admit in NYC it's a lot less, but still.
Paul, are you an asshole because of our politicians? No, you and I are assholes because we're assholes. See the difference?
No, I'm an asshole because of my politicians. I forgot to vote last election so that which I did not confront I condone.
Now had I voted "No", I'd have just been a run-of-the-mill asshole.
Can we agree to agree that 100% of the assholes who vote for these people are assholes?
Yes. Can we also agree that no matter who he votes for, NutraSweet is an asshole?
I believe that's in the original charter.
I'm not ready to commit on the depths of Sugarfree's assholishness.
Get back to me.
I go have a nice Cobb Salad and everyone gets out their knives.
See?!? Cobb Salad! ASSHOLE!
Bacon. It has bacon. Fuck you. Not all of us can have the slim, girlish figure that comes from sucking cock all lunch hour like you.
Hey, maybe the cock was wrapped in bacon, did you think of that?
No, his breath just smells like that because he's dead inside.
According to Michelle, you are America's #1 enemy!
http://www.breitbart.com/Breit.....l-Security
Apparently she has never checked out her own ass in a mirror.
Hey, a brotha like Barack likes a little badonkadonk.
Of all the fetishes in the world, cellulite lovers are the nastiest. I don't just mean chubby chasers, I can't relate but I understand it as being a challenge thing, but nasty, nasty, sloppy looking asses with that rutty, pocked skin. Yeah, you got a cute face in a goatish sort of way, Miss Kardashian, but I'm not going anywhere near whatever that growth is on the back of you, centaur woman.
^^This^^ is why most of America doesn't take libertarians seriously.*
*But it makes me proud to be one.
Hey, I don't have any remorse or anger for crying New Yorkers. They chose to live there. They know the dangers. They signed up to live in legal hell.
No, some of us were just born here and break the law on a daily basis.
If Bloomberg didn't exist even Ayn Rand couldn't have created him.
Ban big sodas, but not big milkshakes.
Makes sense.
Or big glasses of wine.
Or Starbucks venti drinks.
or Big Gulps, natch.
The Starbucks example is easily the most egregious.
A Starbucks Venti Mocha, with Low Fat Milk (giggle), has 446 calories. And that's before you dump whatever else in to it in order for it to be drinkable.
Of course the Park Slope Mothers Associations would riot if Blomy touched their precious Ventis so that ain't gonna happen.
This sort of thing will be the basis of some lovely lawsuits, I'm sure.
Or fucking orange juice, which has just about as much sugar as Coke, if not a bit more.
Coke should add vitamin supplements to Coke in the precise proportions of OJ and sell it in mass quantities, in defiance of this ridiculous decree.
The world needs more people that think like you.
I went to Cunning Plan University.
Big glasses of wine? Surely if they're going to ban large sodas, they have to ban wine by the bottle as restaurants.
Next up: hot dog length, total angle/area of pizza slice, dough/cheese ratio in pierogies...
If Bloomberg comes for our pizza there will be riots.
Knock it off - you're giving them ideas!!
That's a big Twinkie.
I keep expecting to see "My body, my choice" marches in Manhattan against Bloomberg controlling what, where, how, and when we eat. Am I missing something, here?
That's only if a woman pours the soda down her vagina.
Which she will be doing for birth control if the evil Republicans are elected!
But not vodka.
...soaked in a tampon...
You should know that the only "choice" a peon should be allowed to make is whether or not to kill their unborn child.
All other choices are to be made by the aristocrats.
It's only a choice if you choose correctly though.
You're missing nothing, sir.
The Democrats: They're pro-intervention.
Thank goodness someone finally brought up abortion. I was getting worried.
If I had a daughter, I would encourage her to get pregnant and then get abortions. A lot!
If I had a son, I would have him circumcised. A lot!
Vegetarian chili is really the best kind of chili.
Thick crust pizza is the best kind of pizza. Thin crust pizza is shitty.
Picard would beat Kirk like a sick faggot.
You forgot to add 'people should be arrested for inciting violence by disrespecting Islam.'
And what about ice cream places that put cookies and candy bits INSIDE ICE CREAM?
Also, are egg creams even legal anymore?
Well, since they don't have any egg or any cream, yes.
Seriously. And you stand "in line," not "on line," New Yorkers.
Expect regulatory action on egg creams eventually: fraudulent menu labeling
New York: making me feel better about being from California. We may double down on retard in this state, but at least we have the weather and beautiful geography to make up for our retarded pols.
You can have your warm fuzzy weather. Nothing like foot padding down concrete streets with sleet in your hair and face after coming out of a great 1 AM show to let you know you are indeed alive.
Helmet '93 -- forget the club.
Whenever people talk about how CA is so great because of the weather all I can think is "Who cares about the weather?" Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad, but that's just the way I like it. Walking through NYC in February when the buildings turn into huge wind tunnels has its own particular sort of pleasure to it.
People who bitch about the weather are hopeless.
It's too hot or too cold or too wet or too something.
Bitches bitch like bitches.
I don't constantly bitch about the weather, I'm just saying I enjoy living in a place where you can go to the beach in December or go to the mountains if you want to experience snow.
NYC has plenty of issues besides crappy weather. I wish people would stop fleeing the city to come here, though.
I like my transplant neighbors. My only issue is how they effect our laws. You don't wont me grilling on my patio? Mandate putting in a fucking drainage ditch that undermines quick evaporation? Are you fucking retarded!?! You like incubating mosquitos? You do know that we don't hunt the wild boor pack for a reason, right?. Don't fuck with our way of doing things and you'll do fine.
They need to found their own colony and keep their statist, nanny-loving laws to themselves.
You hunt wild boor packs?
boor
[ boor ]
1.ill-mannered person: somebody who behaves in a crass, insensitive, or ill-mannered way
Bravo, my friend, bravo.
We keep them alive, but force them to live as primitives in the woods. Thanks for noticing my little subterfuge on the spelling. Nice to see that the little things that make all the difference are appreciated.
You say that only because you're not from California ...
"pointless progressive authoritarian paternalism"
You could have just said progressivism. How much redundancy does one sentance need?
Anyone starts a Kickstarter campaign to sneak a giant inflatable soda cup into the Macy's parade with the words "52 oz" across it, put me down for a grand.
You come up with the great ideas, some pen pusher does the detail work.
Great, Obama is runining SportsCenter for me by running an ad featuring Bill Clinton extolling how Obama plans to invest money in America to "build from the bottom up".
America is his bottom bitch.
The little lemon-face goatfucker sure looks pleased with himself in that picture.
Lawsuits, ahoy!
Equal application of the law? Ha!
Rule of Law is for pussies. Rule of Man is where it's at!
Bloomturd looks like a limey. I always thought that he was a limey. It must be the way he acts so limey style aristocratic. He probably pictures himself Lord Bloominburger, King of Nannyshire.
Well, he does have a bigger army than Canada.
Then I propose that we invade Canuckistan and we send Lord Bloomturd over Niagara in a trojan barrel to lead the assault.
I like a nice 32 oz. Squirt, no ice, when I eat foie gras sauteed in butter.
Butter? You fucking pussy! I cook mine in lard!
Pure Trans-Fat all the fucking way!
In a 44 oz Super Big Gulp!
With Caviar from Hudson River Sturgeon, sprinkled right in it.
"A liberal is someone who wants to reach into your shower and adjust the temperature of the water." - some guy who is now dead.
"a progressive realizes that it's more efficient to just mandate a lower max temp on waterheaters. Progress!"
-me
Some fast food start up should make a 64 oz drink with the likeness of bloomy on the cup and call it the King Nanny Gulp or something like that.
1. New Dune Remake, covering all 6 books
2. 7-11 tie-in: Gulp-Emperor Of Dune (includes straw resembling sandworm)
3. Profit.
"Gulp-Emperor Of Dune"
They would sure as hell have my money! Love it.
I actually stopped at a roadside joint a few months ago that had their biggest cups labelled as "The Bloomberg."
Wonder how something like a root beer float figures into this?
Who wants to bet that the beverage sizes in question will be replaced with a 2-for-1 special on a drink half the size?
Will it generate MOAR revenue? If yes, then... MOAR nanny state and MOAR revenue? Lord Bloomturd has approved this message.
Exactly.
Buy one 16 oz drink, get a second one for a nickel!
You'd think the enviros would be pissed about the extra garbage this will produce. Maybe they can get together with the my body my choice crowd.
What if I open a convenience store that happens to be located inside a movie theater?
"Then we'll just have to adjust some zoning regs to make that illegal. Noob."
-NYC Zoning Commision
If New York city residents are not responsible enough to make decisions on their own they shouldn't be allowed to vote.
But that probably isn't too far off.
Silence peasants! Lord Bloomturd has spoken! Dissenters will be re-educated.
Say, Bloomberg looks a little like Putin in that picture.
If Putin was a flabby little pussy, but yeah, same attitude.
Right.
THIS IS STEP 1 IN OUR PLAN OF ENSLAVEMENT OF THE PUNY HUMANOIDS
In May, Reason.tv declared Bloomberg "Nanny of the Month" for May for proposing the ban.
That's just not catchy enough. I know that Epi, sarcasmic, Jimbo and myself don't run reason, but I move that we replace "Nanny of the Month" with "Busybody Cocksucker of the Month". Can I get a second?
Seconded
"Nanny" gives too many people Mary Poppins associations.
The Ned Flanders Award. Ned would torture you to death if he thought it would save your soul.
I'd submit to the absolute authorization rule of Mary Poppins, with its mandatory daily intake of sugar.
I object to it. That implies that he offers a service of some sort, however objectionable.
Bibertarian Asshole is available.
Honorary Ray Cocteau award.
Back in high school, when people were just beginning to think about smoking bans, we kids wondered how far it would go. Would they ban cheeseburgers and pepsis? No we thought, that was just too stupid.
Yet here we are. Big drinks are banned. Cheeseburgers are next on the chopping block. And the only question left is how long until we have to report to the gummit fitness center for mandatory gym?
BE THERE 4AM SHARP. LATENESS WILL BE DEDUCTED FROM YOUR VACATION.
Don't be ridiculous, Brandbuck. The government can no more require you to go to the gym than it can require you to buy health insurance. Sheesh.
Look, you don't have to peddle, but you WILL sit on the stationary bike.
Your exercise will be monitored via Telescreen.
No, no, nothing like that. Nothing like that. You sound way too paranoid.
We'll just have mandatory daily aerobics, monitored through the telescreens helpfully installed in our homes by our beneveolent government masters. They're really just looking out for us.
In your home? What a fucking plebe. I carry my telescreen in my pocket. The government can already track my location at all times with it sans warrant. I'm sure the permament surveillance and propaganda broadcast features will be implemented soon.
This must be the sequel to Mike Judge's Idiocracy.
Bloomberg obviously needs a brain transplant. The one he's using isn't working.