If Political Parties Are Like Soft Drink Brands, Why Isn't Gary Johnson Polling 15 Percent?
One of the great pseudo-hardboiled statements you can make about American politics is to shake your head with resignation and sigh that the major party candidates are no different than Coke and Pepsi.
But while the underlying assumption – that people can only be tricked into passionately supporting one or the other indistinguishable party through constant marketing and advertising – may be correct, the truth is that we'd be much better off, and enjoy much greater diversity of political representation, if America's politics were more like its cola markets.
A breakdown [pdf] of soft drink brand names shows that neither Coke nor Pepsi has the kind of iron grip on public attention that the two factions of the political duopoly have exercised for at least as long as every American voter today has been alive.
Even robust third-party challenges like John Anderson's in 1980 (6.6 percent of the popular vote) and Ross Perot's in 1992 (an astonishing 18.9 percent of the popular vote) have never brought the Republocrats' share below one-third each. The graphic above is from 2001, when the internet was still black and white, but a 2010 report shows continued diversity:
It is true that in the last ten years the Coca Cola Company has taken a decisive lead in the soft drink wars, with all its combined brands now holding 42 percent of the market to PepsiCo's 29 percent. (And it goes without saying that we don't have any subsidiary choices like Democrat Zero or Republican Free.) That still leaves a level of diversity in third-tier brands that you rarely see in politics and never in presidential elections.
If Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were truly Coke and Pepsi, Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson, the standardbearer for the country's third largest party, would be polling above 10 percent right now. In fact, he is polling around 3 percent – which is an excellent showing by historical standards. In 2008 Libertarian candidate Bob Barr brought in just 0.4 percent, behind Ralph Nader's 0.56 percent, and all minor-party votes combined came to less than 2 percent. If you've been following Garrett Quinn's coverage of Johnson's ballot-access Iliad, you know these low percentages reflect intentional choice-reduction tactics by the major parties more than they do the will of the voters.
Am I saying that the soft drink market is perfect? I am not. In my view more people should appreciate the reliable taste and reasonable price of Shasta, and I tremble for my nation when I reflect that we have such little regard for RC Cola, which has great taste and made the best cola commercial of all time back in the 1980s:
Those were bolder days, when America had a real president who knew that you respond to an attack on your embassy by selling arms to the attackers. But even today, some sharp marketing executive could easily persuade hipsters that "Royal Crown and Crown Royal" is a swanky successor to your father's rum and Coke. I'd doubt that kind of ingenuity would make a difference in our choiceless politics.
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Shasta had the best commercials.
I wanna pop....
Often, a big soft drink company will have a contract with a retailer, and therefore you won't see competitive products there. Or, perhaps, both of the big guys will have such a contract, acknowledging that they can't shut the other big guy out, but anyone smaller is fair game.
The two major parties have a similar contract, but they have a contract on America.
Dr. Pepper has 9%?!? Well, color me gratified. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?
My question is who the hell are the 91% of people not drinking Dr. Pepper?
Communists.
Liars.
Ah. Like the 90-98% people who claim not to be gay.
People with good taste? Dr. Pepper sucks.
Are you even allowed to say that in DFW? We'll agree to disagree; I go through Diet Dr. Pepper like Mike from Mike and the Mad Dog famously went through Diet Coke.
Why can't we get 7-Up in a restaurant anymore?
I'll tell you why.
It's because of all the goddamn Sprite-swilling liberals.
Dr. Pepper!
Also, where is RC Cola?
At your grandma's house. It's either that or Ensure.
If Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were truly Coke and Pepsi, Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson, ... would be polling above 10 percent right now.
And if Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were an oak tree and a maple tree, Gary Johnson would be a dogwood polling 20 percent right now.
And if any of those trees fell in the forest with no one around to hear it...would anyone still vote for them?
Maybe if the Libertarians weren't like Dr Pepper corporate infighting with Dublin Dr Pepper over true Dr Pepperism, things would be better.
"We need to reduce our platform to just 10 calories to appeal to voters who are dieting but don't want a diet taste!"
"DIETS ARE INIMICAL TO PEPPERISM AND MUST BE EXCISED FROM THE PARTY, FASCIST!"
If you want some irony, the Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco, Texas, has attached to it a fairly large "Foots Clements Free Enterprise Institute," which is fairly Libertarian. Says nothing about their current ownership (Snapple's group, IIRC) of course.
They also make an incredibly tasty Dr. Pepper at their soda fountain. If you must go to or through Waco, it's worth a stop.
If everyone else was forced to drink whichever soft drink got a higher market share, then we'd see more of a strict duopoly there too.
Clearly we need an electoral college for soft drinks.
Exactly.
All sorts of people would be all, "Sure, I prefer Dr Pepper! But if I don't vote Coke, then we'll all have to drink Pepsi!"
Mr Pibb is now called Pibb Xtra. What it has extra of there is of there is no claim. Although it now claims to be spicy cherry soda. Why it got rid of the 'Mr' I suppose was due to it's inherent misogynism. Even Mr T included the Mrs on his cans of Bloody Mary Mix. So the makers of Pibb went with a more neutral name. It seems no one likes a male chauvinist pibb. Apparently it still doesn't register even as an other in the soda market share pie charts. So much for coddling feminist quotas.
Wasn't that the name of Sidney Poitier's character In the Heat of the Night?
They call me Mr Pibbs.
The most gratifying aspect of moving out west in the early aughts was discovering that the RC brand is alive and well in Arizona. The gov may hate brown people, but at least they know good coke when they drink it.
Let me guess. You originated in the SE, where ALL soda is a coke?
Gaagh! I hate it when you order a coke and they bring you a pepsi! Almost as bad as when they ask you if you want a sweet tie, but then bring you a diabetic tea.
where ALL soda is a coke
They do that in New Mexico too. Arizona may be the same.
RC Cola is so much more happening than Coke and Pepsi it isn't even funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbkoeJ7BVsI
Wegman's store brand for me.
The bottom is garbage anyway, because it doesn't include "in house" brands for supermarkets like Walmart or Kroger. If you included all those, the percentages would be even smaller. I suspect the b/w chart might be accounting for all those under the "other" heading.
I dunno man sounds like a solid plan to me dude.
http://www.Anon-Right.tk
Tim, you idiot, that might be the best RC Cola TV commercial, but it's not even close to the best RC Cola ad. This is.
"Buy War Bonds and Stamps Today"
I suppose it is time for that and RC to make a comeback together. Sigh.
I tremble for my nation when I reflect that we have such little regard for RC Cola...
Indeed, RC was what one drank during the dark months of New Coke.
RC Cola was our light in the darkness during those troubled times.
Back when I drank sugared soft drinks, RC was my cola of choice. But when I switched to non-sugared, I found that the RC counterpart dispensed not only with sugar, but also caffeine; that I could not excuse. Diet Jolt filled the gap for a while. Then I switched over to diet Mountain Dew. But after finding out what they put in the latter drink, I pretty much gave up on soda as a regular refreshment. Ever since, it's been "tea, earl grey, hot" for me, with the occasional diet cola or Diet Dr. pepper as filler.
Somewhere in there, may be an allegory for the evolution of my voting choices. But maybe not.
I also think Shasta is underrated. I loved their "hasta be Shasta" commercials of yore.
Because Gary Johnson is a terrible presidential candidate.
He has no charisma, no speaking ability, and the presence of a towel.
Have you ever seen him in Red Eye. He just sits there, never saying anything, unless prodded.
charisma! that is the sum total of a candidate. What he thinks? who cares, he has no harissa (that's that Moroccan spicy paste).
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