A.M. Links: Obama Accepts Nomination, UK Wants to Track All Internet Users, Medical Marijuana Not Doing Well in New Jersey

News from Beirut to Charlotte

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  • what, me worry?

    Barack Obama accepted his party's nomination for re-election and set a Twitter record doing it.

  • The government of Great Britain's latest surveillance plan proposes tracking every web page accessed by British internet users. ISPs are understandably miffed. Wikipedia, meanwhile, says it can thwart Britain's attempt to track internet use through encryption.
  • An American-style ban on indoor smoking went into effect in Lebanon this week. It's opposed by many business owners and residents. 39 percent of Lebanese adults smoke.
  • The new regulations on medical marijuana in New Jersey are too vague and the fees too high according to critics of the initiative. Only 130 people have registered.
  • A military judge has ordered that Nidal Hassan, the suspected Ft. Hood shooter, cut off his beard. Hassan grew a beard for religious reasons while the government considers the shooting an incident of workplace violence.
  • Puerto Ricans will be voting for the fourth time in half a century on the status of their territory when they go to the polls this November.

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  1. Little girl kicks teacher in the nads!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ymore.html

    1. Are you finished?

  2. Family finds gold coins, government says “Fuck you, that’s why”.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ances.html

    1. Further proof that there really is no such thing as private property.

    2. When the Langbords gave the coins to the Philadelphia Mint to get them authenticated, the government seized them without compensating the family.

      Never, ever, voluntarily give any government agencies your property.

      1. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way.

  3. Forced!

    1. Dammit

      1. Maybe now you’ll learn it’s not 2002 anymore.

    2. FIST!

  4. Barack Obama accepted his party’s nomination for re-election and set a Twitter record doing it.

    Did that involve a tweet of his head and the back of his chair?

  5. Man released after spending twenty four years in prison because prosecutors withheld evidence.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..e-boy.html
    I’m sure that the prosecutors will be punished for knowingly sending innocent men to prison.
    Haaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha!

    1. Really, there’s only one just punishment for this. Knowingly withholding exculpatory evidence should result in the prosecutor serving the sentence the defendant received.

      1. Oh good ol’ 80s action movie vengeance. I’d accept either one as an answer.

        1. Right. That, too. I was kind of going “pass a law that would act as a deterrent” effect, but I like where your head’s at.

          1. Laws don’t matter if they aren’t enforced.

            In the case of bad cops and prosecutors, I’m all for vigilante justice.

  6. Just for $parky
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-VMAs.html

      1. For no-talent trash, yeah.

  7. There’s one messed up statue.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-park.html

  8. Here’s to transparency!
    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..-john-fund

  9. Reporters Using ‘Fake Names’ to Buy Obama Campaign Merchandise at the DNC
    http://politicker.com/2012/09/…..t-the-dnc/

    1. Whenever we make a political donation, we put it in my wife’s name.

      1. Nice. We need a name for this. If a beard is a woman used to make a homosexual man appear heterosexual. What is the term for a spouse that is used to make a journalist appear unbiased?

        1. My term is “Pookie-wookie,” but you’re probably looking for something more universal.

          1. Your sexual preference for Michelle Obama sickens me.

        2. “soon-to-be-ex-spouse”

        3. “soon to be ex-spouse”

        4. What is the term for a spouse that is used to make a journalist appear unbiased?

          How about a “Fox Hole”?

          1. How about a “CNNt”?

            1. That’s using your head.

  10. The new regulations on medical marijuana in New Jersey are too vague and the fees too high according to critics of the initiative. Only 130 people have registered.

    The DEA has to be bummed. Only 130 arrests.

    1. The DEA has to be bummed

      In the UK/Australia, that could be interpreted as “The DEA must be sodomized”. Which I suppose works as well

      1. TAKE YOUR FOREIGN SLANG OFF OUR AMERICAN INTERNET. Perverts.

        1. Bugger off.

          1. I see what you did here.

              1. I think I like the Aussie interpretation better.

                DEA – Australian for Buttrape victim.

      2. STEVE SMITH TO THE RESCUE!

  11. Five DeMatha Football Players Kicked Off Team After Incident With Prostitutes
    http://www.nbcwashington.com/n…..76.html?dr

    A parent said that some of the boys had sexual intercourse with the prostitutes after hiring them over the internet. They apparently brought the women to a hotel room early Saturday morning after a win in North Carolina.

    The school is staying quiet on the case.

    “As you know any disciplinary action that takes place at the school, I can’t legally or morally talk about discipline of any students,” DeMatha Principal Dan McMahon said. “If people break team rules, there are team sanctions, and if people break school rules, there are school sanctions.”

    1. These young men are my heroes.

    2. Couldn’t they have had groupies for free?

      1. Away game. Far enough to stay in a hotel rather than ride the yellow dog home.

        1. No groupies in the hotel lobby?

          1. For a high school football team? You’ve watched too many movies.

    3. I’m still having a hard time seeing what is the issue. Sounds like kids having fun using the internet for fucking. AS. GOD. IN. TEND. ED.

      1. I still don’t get why prostiution is illegal.

        1. Because “my body, my choice” is one of the most disingenuous of all the disingenuous political slogans.

  12. Wikipedia, meanwhile, says it can thwart Britain’s attempt to track internet use through encryption.

    [citation needed]

  13. So did Obama just go up on the podium and take a dump last night? I am shocked this morning that the lefty media is admitting he was dull and not giving their usual “it was epic and game changing” spin.

    1. You can only blow the same note for so long before people get tired of your self-indulgence, even your lapdogs and groupies.

      1. How about the lapgroupies?

      2. In his defense what was he going to say? The truth is that the government is going to get smaller and the world is not going to remain stuck in 1965 whether we like it or not. He can’t say that. So what is he left with other than “more teachers, cops on the streets!!”

        1. “So what is he left with other than ‘more teachers, cops on the streets!!'”

          A plan to recruit 100,000 new science and math teachers. There aren’t enough donors in public sector unions yet.

          1. He might as well make cops and teachers the same thing. They can blow kids away when the little shits get uppity and start asking questions that call into question their alleged “education.”

          2. Why not a million teachers? Why does Obama hate our children so much?

            1. “Help give two million workers the chance to learn skills at their community college that will lead directly to a job. Help us work with colleges and universities to cut in half the growth of tuition costs over the next ten years. We can meet that goal together.”

              He just pulls numbers out of the air as if just stating them has significance. Why not 10 million?

              1. What the fuck? He wants to halve the rate of growth? That’s great. College can be 7% more expensive each year. Whee!

                FL has started a project to cross-index employment and community-college graduates for outcome based planning. Now, the data are incomplete, and they can’t handle people who move out-of-state yet, but the trends are pretty obvious. Imagine if they made state universities report this information.

                1. How many of his ardent supporters do you really think will notice that “the growth of?” I’m surprised MSNBC isn’t already running the headline “Obama Will Cut College Tuition in Half if You Vote for Him!”

            2. If we could just teach all the children how to be teachers, we wouldn’t have such a shortage on teachers.

        2. And this gem:

          “And the truth is, it will take more than a few years for us to solve challenges that have built up over decades. It’ll require common effort, shared responsibility, and the kind of bold, persistent experimentation that Franklin Roosevelt pursued during the only crisis worse than this one.”

          Being the guinea pig for Obama’s bold, persistent experimentation should be your life’s pursuit.

          1. In 1933, Roosevelt became President and appointed Morgenthau governor of the Federal Farm Board. Morgenthau was nonetheless involved in monetary decisions. Roosevelt adopted the idea of raising the price of gold to inflate the currency and reverse the debilitating deflation of prices. The idea came from Professor George Warren of Cornell University. When Roosevelt told Morgenthau he was thinking of raising the price of gold by 21 cents, his entourage asked him why. “It’s a lucky number,” Roosevelt said. “Because it’s three times seven.” As Morgenthau later wrote, “If anybody knew how we really set the gold price through a combination of lucky numbers, etc., I think they would be frightened.”

            1. “…Franklin Roosevelt pursued during the only crisis worse than this one.”

              Not buying this assumption either. The Carter recession was just as bad, if not worse than the Bush recession.

              1. The Carter Presidency provided one of the best political quips of all time. I wonder if there is anyone who could pull it off with Obama?

                A depression is when you lose your job. A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A recovery is when Obama loses his job.

          2. Can I be in the control group?
            You know, the people they don’t fuck around with.

            Oh, and here’s a bold, persistent experiment for you: Spend Less Money!

          3. Apparently Obama has a “five year plan.” How’d that work out for Stalin?

        3. “And yes, my plan will continue to reduce the carbon pollution that is heating our planet because climate change is not a hoax. More droughts and floods and wildfires are not a joke. They’re a threat to our children’s future. And in this election, you can do something about it.”

          Join Obama and together we can defeat the forces of nature that plague is all.

    2. After the first black President(Clinton) spoke, Obama was almost certain to not meet expectations.

      1. Speaking of not meeting expectations, the jobless numbers were revised upward yet again.

        1. Already?

          1. No. I saw’less than expected’ and jumped the gun.

            1. “The government also said Friday that 41,000 fewer jobs were created in July and June than first estimated.”

              Maybe it’s just your semantics that are off

              1. Well but didn’t 300K “drop out of the workforce”? How the hell do you give up looking for a job? Is the gov’t cheese that good?

    3. He’s done. There are lots of dirty tricks to be played between now and the end, but this was the chance to pivot and change the conversation (to what, I have no clue) and they didn’t. So now the donks will spend the next 2 months whipping their base into a frenzy and hoping they can get enough black and youth turnout while keeping enough white women and Israel-interested Jewish voters. Maybe they can tow Obama across the finish line, but I think he’s hulled.

      1. It’s smelling like a major defeat is in the works for the party. Even they seem to not believe in this election.

        Think how bad a job you have to do to lose to Mitt Romney. He couldn’t defeat John McCain!

        1. This loss is going to be totally the result of Obama’s hardheadedness and incompetence. If he had pivoted and worked with the Congress after 2010 like Clinton did, Obama would be up by 15 points right now.

          1. An Obama loss we be the result of the intervention of reality. As they say, “it’s the economy, stupid.” And every policy this man has implemented in the past 4 years, has been EXACTLY the opposite of what’s required to produce growth.

            You can live in a world of unicorns and leprechauns, you can make policy based on how you wish the world worked, but eventually, reality must prevail.

            When Obama loses, it will simply be because socialism cannot work.

            1. But will that message be accepted? Look at Europe–delusion can go a very long way.

              1. They are coming to their own reckoning as we type.

                Perhaps we can head ours off. I suspect the diff between Europe and us is 50% ish of us still believe in free markets and all that entails. I think the majority of Europeans do not. SO, we can conceivably still vote ourselves out of disaster. They cannot because they ALL believe in unicorns.

                Perhaps?

        2. I’m beginning to entertain a scenario whereby Republican enthusiasm and Democrat malaise drive Charlie Sheen Connie Mack IV into the Senate. So FL will be back in contention for craziest senator.

          More seriously, if Obama, Nelson and Claire McCaskill lose to low quality candidates, will the Dems be forced to reassess their priorities? Or will they just stay crazy and let the Republicans self-immolate in a similar manner?

          1. And Warren. The Dems are so desperate they can’t even come up with a winning candidate in Massachusetts.

            1. Kind of. Scott Brown seems to be death to female candidates. Maybe sitting in Teddy’s seat gives him that power. They should have run a guy against him.

              1. That’s a new meme. Maybe Boston is sexist instead of racist?

                1. It’s not sexism. It’s the bubble.

                  You have no idea how stultifying the higher-ed, governmental, non-profit complex in Boston is. These people only socialize with each other and sincerely think that they are at the pinnacle of knowledge and intelligence.

                  The smart guys in the MA Democratic Party stay on the state-level playground where they can line their pockets in peace. They shuffle the dumb idiots onto the national field in order to get them out of underfoot.

                  So MA politicians on the national stage are idiots who think they are the smartest, bestest people around and can’t figure out how to beat the I’m-just-a-plain-folks-alpha-male ploy that Brown is using to attract votes.

                  1. What they need to do is bar all MA Democrats from voting in their next Senate primary, and have the MO Democrats decide the primary by voting by mail.

                    Then they’ll have a better chance.

                  2. I’m-just-a-plain-folks-alpha-male ploy that Brown is using to attract votes.

                    Yeah, you can’t beat Good Guy Scott with Cambridge Shrew. You need to run Lovable Drunken Mick against him, or maybe Crafty Greek with Abacus.

                  3. They shuffle the dumb idiots onto the national field in order to get them out of underfoot.

                    Then how is Menino still mayor?

                    1. I expect it’s because Menino is not so dumb as to get in the way of graft.

                  4. tarran, that is an excellent summary.

                    1. He’s in the “Goldilocks of dumb” zone.

          2. “…will the Dems be forced to reassess their priorities?”

            Did you see any of the video of delegates at the DNC convention agreeing with banning or limiting corporate profits because the government needs the money? Yeah, I don’t see any reassessment happening.

          3. There are moderates in the party–be interesting to see if they begin taking control again if there’s a major electoral loss.

      2. There are lots of dirty tricks to be played between now and the end, but this was the chance to pivot and change the conversation (to what, I have no clue) and they didn’t.

        The last card that he has left is a foreign adventure. Don’t be surprised if bombs start falling on Iran in the next 45 days.

        1. The last card that he has left is a foreign adventure. Don’t be surprised if bombs start falling on Iran in the next 45 days.

          Been calling this one for awhile. I’m really surprised it hasn’t started up yet. You need a good outrage in order to let the war dogs off the leash, and we haven’t had a convenient tanker or CVN mining. Or a mass casualty event. (shudder)

          The next New Moon is September 15th, with the following one October 15th. Not that we need a New Moon to wreak havoc in the dark, but it does make things easier when you can see and the bad guys can’t.

          An incumbent candidate should be trending stronger, not weaker, after his party’s convention. Not this guy.

      3. It’s called an October surprise. Romney’s tax returns will be leaked by an anonymous bureaucrat, which is why he should have just released himself a few months ago and weathered the storm then.

    4. Did they pass a collection plate around last night? I wonder how much the Narcissist in Chief took in with that sermon? Being that it was the DNC, probably about “tree-fitty”. They figured government would make up the difference.

  14. David Harsanyi: Democrats lose grip on reality
    http://www.humanevents.com/201…..n-reality/

    Democrats say that things are a lot better than they used to be. And if you believe all the things we’re hearing, you might wonder: How did we survive in this Godforsaken place before 2008? Were children really left to die on the slab? Were college kids forced to pay for their own journalism degrees? Were people expected to head over to the CVS and buy their own condoms? Did we really suffer through year after year of 5 percent unemployment?

    Were we really so immoral before He showed up? Apparently.

    1. They have nothing to say. Everything they believe in has been done for going on a hundred years. And it doesn’t work. The question is does it end slowly and incrementally or does it end like it is ending in Greece and Italy right now.

      1. Come on!
        They haven’t been able to do enough thanks to obstructionist Republicans!
        The only reason the economy is in the tank is because obstructionist Republicans haven’t let them spend enough money!
        If only the obstructionist Republicans would get out of the way and let the Top. Men. do what they do best!
        Did I mention that the Republicans are obstructionist?

      2. The decline is slow and gradual – the final collapse is quick. We still have a ways to go, unfortunately.

      3. It was awful. People were expected to work for money.

    2. This was on reason yesterday.

      1. my apologies – musta missed it. I’m on a new schedule now with my wife doing her internship.

        1. Thanks for linking; I missed it too.

  15. A military judge has ordered that Nidal Hassan, the suspected Ft. Hood shooter, cut off his beard.

    Grooming standards is the least of this asshole’s problems.

    1. He is still in the Army. He can’t have a beard. He really does want them to give him the death penalty. As your defense attorney, I would advise against confirming the jury’s preconceptions that you are religious nutcase. Just saying.

      1. Sure he can. He just has to jump through the right hoops.

        http://www.army.mil/article/36…..s-of-faith

        He’s trying to plead guilty. I don’t think he’s too worried about a jury.

    2. It was just a case of “workplace violence”, let us not rush to presume anything!

      /DoD spokesdrone

      This case makes me want to vomit in rage.

    3. Anyone who is actually stupid enough to seriously believe this bullshit that Hasan’s trial is being indefinitely put off because of his beard would probably believe absolutely anything.

      I’ve heard quite a few ludicrous things in my lifetime, but that could very well be the most ludicrous of them all.

      1. It is being put off because it is going to be very embarrassing to the Army. The Army hopes this clown dies of natural causes before he is tried.

        1. This whole farcical charade would actually be kind of funny if it wasn’t for the fact that this bastard murdered a bunch of people.

          Those people had friends and families, and they have to be left twisting in the wind forever so that this insane, out of control, unaccountable government of ours can cover its own ass.

          They also know that 90% of the dumb American sheeple have forgotten that this incident ever happened. “Disgusting” doesn’t even remotely begin to describe every aspect of this atrocity.

          1. Leave it to the government to turn a tragedy into a travesty.

  16. Drudge is hysterical. Right now the top headline is

    8.1%
    +96,000
    FED SET TO PUMP
    368,000 DROPPED OUT OF WORKFORCE

    And then at the top left of the feed below that is a picture of Obama with the headline “I’m not done yet”.

    1. Sort of reminds you of the Black Knight’s protestations, eh?

      1. It does. Drudge is really a brilliant satirist. No wonder liberals hate him so much.

      2. Racist

        1. Dammit, I knew something was off.

          1. Should have gone with “I’m not dead!”

      3. Alright, we’ll call it a draw!

        1. Come back here, I’ll bite your knee-caps off!

  17. Unemployment, Growth and Competition
    http://pointsandfigures.com/20…..mpetition/

    The unemployment numbers were released this morning. They were not as good as expected. Pretty horrible actually. Some of the comments from pundits ahead of the number were interesting. Diane Swonk said, “I never thought I’d be reading political briefs to make my decisions on investing.”. She and I both. It’s a weird time.

    Our labor participation rate is horrific. It almost looks to me like government employees are messing with that number in order to change the headline percentage number. Older statistics were revised down. It’s not as if we haven’t seen manipulation in other areas of the bureaucracy. We are stymied with current policy on unemployment.

    1. There’s that pesky word “unexpected” again.

  18. …while the government considers the shooting an incident of workplace violence.

    Does this mean OSHA is on hand in Afghanistan?

    1. OK everyone, we need the workplace safety posters and MSDS sheets posted in all your fighting positions and these ANA and ANP bases!

      1. Hey, hey, hey…another poster/policy letter on a bulletin board fixes ANYTHING. I see no reason why it shouldn’t fix this little domestic terrorism thing too.

        You glad to be out?

    2. It must mean that drug turf wars are just workplace violence.

    3. Well, to be fair, it was an act of workplace violence. The motivations for it may also make it an act of terrorism, or political violence. But that doesn’t make it not workplace violence.

  19. Hey Ed, Britain is not the only country trying this: The Australian Government is trying to introduce a data retention plan which would force all Australian telcos and internet service providers to store the online data of all Australians for up to two years. It also wanted a national firewall, but that proposal has died after someone who understood such matters explained the sheer futility of it all

    1. Who’s in charge in Australia anymore? It seems the land down under has gone nuts as of late.

      1. Who’s in charge in Australia anymore?

        The Federal Government is just so depressingly stupid and cynical that it makes the statist conservative fucks on the other side seem tolerable. The Federal Treasurer recently said one of his major political inspirations was Bruce Springsteen. That’s right, a Labor politician inspired by a rock singer who happily crossed picket lines. What a douchetard.

  20. Well, this little gem over at The Atlantic really hits all the high notes. Choice rampant libertarianism are ruining our country, utilitarianism is aces, MOAR LABULLZ!, even some bonus bad and wrong food myths, like that eating fat will make you fat. Sigh.

    1. Summary: “Every time I get hungry I suck this government cock instead. Mmmhamm. Look how thin I am! Everyone should have to do the same.”

      1. And the author even owns up to having weight issues of his own. So naturally his brilliant ideas about how not to be a fatty should be imposed on all of us, via our benevolent total state.

        1. For my own good, I propose that all of you should diet. Seems about right.

    2. Holy fuck. The comments.

      The anti-government obsession stems from the 18th century, a time when democracy effectively did not exist, and all governments were essentially imposed tyrannies. But today, in the modern world, the obsession is dysfunctional. Moreover, it serves to cover a sinister agenda.

      Don’t be fooled by “small government” rhetoric. It’s a lie. What those people really want is smaller government that protects us from them. But they want larger government that protects them from us. That’s why they’ve deregulated the finance industry but militarized police departments around the country. That’s less government for them but more government for us.

      1. Never read the comments at The Atlantic. Its worse than Jezebel.

      2. Haha, police militarization. Pay no attention to the constantly dodged/unasked drug war questions at the DNC!

        (Also I used to work for a company that handled SOX compliance so I just sigh every time the deregulation line gets trotted out. Nothing but narrative.)

        1. On the rare occasions someone has said that to me irl, I’ve asked “name two regulations that have been gotten rid of.” 0 for 5 or 6 so far.

      3. These peoplefucking monsters could easily live in an Orwellian horrorscape as long as gay marriage was legal and the rest of us have to pay for fucking contraception. What a bunch of fucking pieces of fucking thrice-digested dinosaur Bubonic plague infused shit.

      4. As opposed to the modern era, where democracy gives the illusion of existing to provide unwarranted legitimacy to what are essentially imposed tyrannies.

    3. The Japanese Government does have a terrific track record in ensuring people under its care don’t get fat

      1. Well, they did like to take large groups of prisoners of war…I mean ‘guests’, out for long, long walks. In the heat. With no food or water.

  21. Are We Winning in Afghanistan?
    An exclusive interview with Gen. John Allen, commander of America’s forgotten war.
    http://www.foreignpolicy.com/a…..fghanistan

    The lack of a clearly defined narrative about Afghanistan, combined with election noise and economic worries in the United States, has pushed the war out of the American consciousness. In recent weeks, the spate of insider attacks put it back on the media’s map, temporarily. But the next several months will in many ways shape the U.S. exit between now and December 2014. Soon, we will learn how many troops will remain in the country. We’ll learn what impact attacks on militants may have on the battlefield. We’ll see if the Afghan National Security Forces (ANSF) can truly stand on their own. And we’ll learn just how fast U.S. forces will be sent to the exits.

    (interview follows)

    1. So…No then?

  22. Nevada has a law by which the election ballot has a space for “none of these candidates.”

    Republicans are (so far unsuccessfully) challenging this law in the federal courts (despite a district judge’s attempt, promptly overruled, to block the law).

    Apparently the Reps are challenging the law because some voters who might otherwise vote for Romney would vote for “none” if “none” is on the ballot.

    In other words, “Romney is my second choice – after nobody.”

    http://www.washingtontimes.com…..nction-st/

    1. Wikipedia article on the law:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N…..Candidates

  23. Can someone explain to me why Reason keeps logging me out of the system? It’s getting tiresome.

    1. If you don’t ask to be remembered, you are soon forgotten.

      1. ^this^

        Sorry, I ruined your riddle, sarc.

    2. It’s the Princess Leia of libertarianism. She’s playing all hard to get, but eventually she’ll relent and you’ll be logged in forever

      1. And then you’ll get sick of her coked-out nostrils and deepening voice.

    3. This was really driving me nuts. The cure:

      Click on the box in the login control to ‘remember me’, problem solved.

  24. Woman so stupid she tattooed paw prints on her tits. Oh, and she took a banned tanning drug and died. But back to the important bit – paw prints?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tions.html

    1. Stupid is as stupid does

    2. Think of it as evolution in action.

    3. Apparently you’re not the only one into furry hands.

    4. Of course she was looking for a little artifical boost in her tanning efforts. You can only expect the sun to do so much of the heavy lifting.

    5. It only a tragedy if she had kids.

  25. OT: a little project that I’m working on – restoring a mono tube amplifier from the 1950s.
    http://6streetbridge.blogspot……eo-20.html

    1. That is great.

    2. This is why nobody takes libertarians seriously.

  26. I don’t know about the rest of you, but that redhead on the “Go Topless Day” thingy makes my tongue hard.

    1. My tongue is still as soft as ever.

    2. I give them credit for finding/hiring a smoking hot exhibitionist as a spokesmodel. I suggest every protest march be led by hot, topless (female) redheads.

      1. There oughta be a law.

      2. Redheads are an abomination. Except Angie Everhart.

        1. Listen, they may be soulless sun-dodgers not ever to be argued with in the kitchen where knives may be handy, but I consider them a vice worth having, on balance.

          1. You just have to keep them in the right conditions and they’re perfect. You take them on your ski vacations to screw at the end of the day, not your tropical vacations to screw on the beach.

            1. Its the times where I was either going to get stabbed or screwed in the next five minutes that made it so exhilarating. So, yeah, argue in the bedroom, not the kitchen.

        2. I like them so much I married one.

        3. What about Christina Hendricks?

          1. Or Karen Gillan?

            1. Felicia Day?

              1. Alicia Witt?

          2. Hendricks? God no. She’s flat out ugly.

            Alicia Witt – ok, I like her on the ski trip idea. Same with Amy Adams.

            Karen Gillan looks like she’d eat my soul. Pass.

            Felicia Day? You can’t be serious. She looks like a redhead version of Sarah Jessica Parker.

            1. Are you gay? NTTAWWT.

  27. “The majority of Puerto Ricans in Florida and New York are Democrats, but nonetheless we have Republican governors. My uncle was one of them and the current governor, Luis Fortunio, is one,” said Bhatia. “But I definitely favor the Democrats over the Republicans.”

    Obama needs their donations and their votes if he wants to get to Washington and make a difference.

  28. Passenger complains, gets told she’s stupid by refreshingly honest airline boss. My faith in humanity is briefly restored

    http://www.smh.com.au/travel/t…..25gg1.html

    1. Wow, he used both the f-word and the b-word (which is popular in the British Commonwealth). I’m thinking it *is* a no-frills airline, just like the article says.

    2. “B***** off”? Bugger is censored over there?

      1. Well, since it means “fuck up the ass”, yes.

    3. he airline charged her ?300 ($A370) to print out five boarding passes

      Right, but how much is that in real money?

      1. 1 US dollar will buy you 96 Australian cents, so A$370 = US$384.44

        1. I don’t know how much that is in gold.

  29. Population increased by over 210k from Jul to Aug but the labor force shrank by about 370k, pushing Participation rates to 63.5% (a 30-year low). “96k jobs added” fails to tell you that there were 119k FEWER people employed, pushing Employment-to-Population slightly down ratios to 58.3% (63% was considered “normal” in the decade leading up to ’08).

    Lower U3 number therefore due to the labor force shrinking faster than the number of employed persons. But lets all focus on the loss of .2 percentage points instead.

    http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.a.htm

    1. If people would just stop with this work nonsense and go on welfare, we could get unemployment down to 0%

      1. I suggest that they use my proposed UX measure–the percentage of labor force unemployed 15 weeks or longer who deserve jobs.

        1. As a kid I was always incredibly confused how the unemployment rate wasn’t just (total people-employed people)/total people.

          I’m still kind of confused about that actually.

          1. If 65% of Americans are working, but only about 80% would want to work (some people might be retired, or choose staying at home with kids or caring for sick family or are full time students who choose not to work) should the rate be .65/.80 or .65/1? They manipulate it even worse by only reporting people who seek unemployment, but #workers/#possible workers isn’t fair either.

            1. #workers/#possible workers isn’t fair either.

              Why not? The unemployment rate should logically be the rate of people that are unemployed (i.e. do not have a job). People might have to adjust their expectations of what is a “normal” unemployment rate, but it’s more honest.

          2. I would use this formula:

            Total adults employed / (total adults – those who have voluntarily excluded themselves from the workforce*)

            * I see no reason to include retirees and full-time parents.

            1. Because they are people without jobs.

              1. Because they have intention to get jobs.

                1. Then don’t call it the “unemployment rate”. Call it something different which incorporates the “wants to work” part.

        2. I would take (average # weekly hours people are working) / (40 * number of people in the country).

          If we get rid of the kids and retirees and work a lot of overtime, we could get over 100% employment. Suck on that, other countries that use different metrics.

  30. I guess Granholm ensured that a show came with dinner last night. She apparently lost it on stage.

  31. Florida:

    Drummer accused of performing sex act while driving

    The deputy re-interviewed the woman and asked if it was possible that she confused Ayers’s drumming for a sex act.

    She was adamant that she had a clear view of his penis. She stated it was not possible that she mistook the drum sticks for his penis.

    She said she wanted to pursue criminal charges and completed a sworn written statement detailing what she said she saw.

    1. At least it wasn’t a musician doing it.

      1. What do you do if you find a drummer on your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.

        How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. ONe to do it and two to argue how Neil Peart would haveve done it.

        What did the drummer get on their final exam? Drool.

        1. How do you know that the person knocking on your door is a drummer? The knocking speeds up.

          1. How do you know when the drum riser is level? The drummer drools from both sides of his mouth.

    2. Seriously guys, I’m having a hard time seeing what the problem is with most of these links. What…is she a fucking prude or something? I don’t get it.

  32. New York: Asshole School Janitor is no fun at all.

    ‘Lesbian’ Teachers Charged After Being Found Naked in Classroom

    French teacher Cindy Mauro, 34, and Spanish teacher, Alini Brito, 30, were discovered by a school janitor who caught the “undressed” instructors allegedly sharing a kiss in the empty classroom at James Madison High School during a Nov. 20 assembly

    1. Date on article: 4:12 p.m. EDT, March 31, 2010

      I never forget a lesbian teacher encounter.

      1. Dude, who cares about the date. Lesbian Sex, in HS!

        This is relevant (SFW Use headphones)

    2. So…what’s the problem?

    3. IN NYC schools don’t they punish this sort of thing by sending them to the rubber room?

      The internet offers much video about lesbian punishment in rubber rooms

      1. They were actually fired. Lawsuits in the works of course. One got a favorable ruling in June.

        http://www.nypost.com/p/news/l…..KkiHqMQShK

    4. No pictures? That’s poor reporting. Or are they not the kind of lesbians we want to watch?

    1. Antonio Cromartie’s kids?

      1. Surprisingly, worse.

      2. I so wish the Jets had been on Hard Knocks this year. Tim Tebow talking to Cromartie about fatherhood would have been one the great moments in TV history.

        1. That really needs to be a youtube video spoof.

    1. What is it about warm weather states that brings out the stupid?

      1. Stupid people from other places like to move down here, that’s what it is.

      2. It’s really easy to survive when the weather is so easy on you.

  33. Denmark, Baby!

    Student Sex Tape Plays During Graduation Ceremony

    A crowd of 500 people were left stunned after a video of a student having sex was played during his school’s graduation festivities.

    1. So…what’s the problem?

      1. Why does anything have to be wrong? Sometimes it’s just about being informed or laughing at other people’s misfortune or what have you.

        1. Misfortune? Now everyone in his school knows he got laid.

    2. “Brett, submit a video of your proudest accomplishments from high school.”

      [hands in sex tape]

      I get it.

  34. Lousy jobs report is good news, everyone!

    Various talking heads currently on Bloomberg are cackling gleefully and rubbing their hands together in anticipation of the “sure thing” of Bernanke riding to the rescue again.

    Quantitative easing today, quantitative easing tomorrow, quantitative easing forever!

    Now Hilda Solis is bragging about the excellent job the govt has done. Oh, noes! All those poor firefighters and teachers, out in the streets! I’m buying shares of Purina this morning.

    1. Good god. We are so fucked if people are actually cheering for QE3.

      1. der, it makes the market go up, which is good, right? der

  35. “Blamethrowers on full dispersion, troops! Turn those obstructionist teabagsterdz into cinders!”

  36. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..r_embedded

    I wonder what demographic this was targeting? They should remake it as a TV ad….they could have the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull breaking through the wall.

    1. That is pretty groovy. I have to admit it makes me want to vote Obama over Ford.

  37. just saw this on Twitter from some English bloke:

    Train. Left iPad a nicoise salad on table while I went to piss.Now accused by Guard of ‘scaring passengers’ “Either could have been a bomb”

    FFS

    1. Sounds like Guard’s head is full of Semtex or C-4. That could be a bomb too.

  38. Youngstown , Ohio deputy goes into berzerker mode. Put on paid vacation.

    Bonus points for the defense attorney of man beaten senseless being a total idiot.

    1. Does that attorney even know who he’s defending?

  39. Stupid people from other places like to move down here, that’s what it is.

    Florida is a highly distilled broth of stupidity, then?

  40. Officer of the Year? You decide.*

    Thank God the union contract is in place, otherwise this man might be wrongfully put out of a job. Right, dunphy?

  41. This guy has to be a candidate for Officer of the Year, right dunphy? RIGHT, dunphy?????

    This entire story should be reason enough for all pubsec union contracts to be immediately voided and civilian oversight boards put in place to discipline all employees when there is misconduct. Instead, it is laid out by the insiders as a good policy with actually positive outcomes.

    It’s like these motherfuckers live on another planet.

  42. Officer of the year candidate right here: http://www.todaysthv.com/news/…..in-5-years

  43. So I know a bunch of you here like The Shield, but I watched through Sons of Anarchy recently, which is also written by Kurt Sutter, and while it was mostly OK, the writing was often nonsensical and filled with constant gratuitous minor lefty asides–from Upton Sinclair praise to the totally ridiculous premise of a California chief of police who is on the take and also owns a trucking company not being able to properly pay for cancer treatments/non-abjectly squalorous living arrangements. (The boo-hoo those poor underpaid public servants stuff really annoys me almost enough to negate the appeal of making a scumbag ATF agent one of the main villains in the series.)

    I watched the first episode of The Shield a while back and it just didn’t really grab me, whereas The Wire had the remarkable ability to cover so much political ground without making me roll my eyes at all.

    1. Amen. Some genius here ages ago called SoA “scooter gang Hamlet” which pretty much nailed it. It also totally softsoaps the fucked up nature of biker gangs. It is to the Sopranos what The Shield is to The Wire.

      One truly genius thing about the Wire was that while David Simon is a standard softcock liberal, he still managed to create a show which pitilessly made the libertarian point, time and again

      1. “…standard softcock liberal…”

        I’m going to start using that in everyday conversation until I lose all of my liberal “friends.”

    2. Maybe he could afford it if he could sell drugs. Oh wait…

    1. How is that a tribute to Star Trek? I don’t see Data or Wesley Crusher represented. And who’s the one with the funny ears on the left?

    2. They should have added a superfluous letter in a red shirt, then had it get shot.

      1. That was the letter “e” that transported down with the Captain. He catches some flak from the bamboo cannon used to shoot the lizard man / pez dispenser.

        Click the doors on the bridge to take you to the transporter. Then click on the letter “E” to watch him cry. Then click on the transporter controls to beam down to the planet. Then click the bamboo cannon on the rocks.

        1. Holy crap, I thought you were pulling my leg initially. That’s awesome.

          1. Yeah… they went all out on that one.

        2. And the tribbles…click the overhead compartment in the transporter room.

  44. http://www.todaysthv.com/news/article/225231/2/

    LRPD-officer-has-6-suspensions-in-5-years

    (Move the LRPD-officer part back to the rest of the link in your browser. It keeps getting marked as spam, but it’s certainly an Officer Of The Year story.)

  45. Some genius here ages ago called SoA “scooter gang Hamlet”

    *bows*

    I accept your ennobling praise.

    Also, I watched The Shield for about a season and a half, until it became too ridiculous to watch. I’m sure it’s a hard thing to do, but it still surprises me when it becomes painfully obvious that the writers of a series have completely lost their way.

  46. “”Diplomatic relations between Canada and Iran have been suspended,” the minister said in a statement. “All Canadian diplomatic staff have left Iran, and Iranian diplomats in Ottawa have been instructed to leave within five days.”

    http://www.montrealgazette.com…..z25nPTExd2

    1. “War. We didn’t want it, but we’ve got it.”

      1. Well, if the Canadians want a war, they’ll have to hitch a ride with us or fly commercial.

        1. No, you don’t understand. Canada is going rogue and fighting Iran by itself.

          1. Flying commercial it is, then. I hear RyanAir is cheap, as long as you print the boarding passes up front.

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